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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you

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Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARBFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours, yours, It could be yours.

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Speaker 2: Buckle up and hold on time. We got it for you.

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Speaker 3: Here.

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Speaker 2: It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subject his mama has too much access.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I married a man from another country.

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Speaker 1: He got divorced and moved to Texas for work. He's

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Speaker 1: a doctor, and he's got two teenage boys that chose

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Speaker 1: to move to Texas.

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Speaker 4: With him after the divorce.

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Speaker 1: They're in high school and they're friendly to me, but

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Speaker 1: it is very obvious that there are spies for their mom.

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Speaker 1: I caught one of them, one of the boys, facetiming

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Speaker 1: with his mom, but his camera was turned toward me

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Speaker 1: so she could get a good look at me. The

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Speaker 1: boys and their mama are not the problem. My husband's

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Speaker 1: mother is the problem. Right before we got married, she

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Speaker 1: moved to Texas too. She was living in Virginia with

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Speaker 1: her second husband, but she left him to come ruin

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Speaker 1: my life. I told my husband that I was not

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Speaker 1: going to marry him if he allowed his mother to

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Speaker 1: live with us. He tried to sneak it in during

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Speaker 1: our home search by looking for homes with a nice

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Speaker 1: bedroom on the first floor. No, sir, that was not happening.

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Speaker 1: So instead she has a little studio apartment in a

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Speaker 1: building about three miles from our home. The boys go

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Speaker 1: pick her up all the time, and somehow she ends

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Speaker 1: up at our house. I am tired of her. She

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Speaker 1: loves to mention my husband's ex wife to the boys

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Speaker 1: and make sure that I can hear her conversation. She

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Speaker 1: even cut her eyes at me once or twice to

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Speaker 1: engage me, but I ignored her. My husband recently gave

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Speaker 1: her a key to our house and the co to

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Speaker 1: the alarm in case of emergency. She told me that

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Speaker 1: now she can come check on our grandsons whenever she

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Speaker 1: wants to. That night, I had the alarm code changed

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Speaker 1: and I'm thinking about re king all of the locks.

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Speaker 1: My husband knows that his tiny Caribbean mama is a

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Speaker 1: pest but instead of talking to her, he gives her more.

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Speaker 4: Access to us.

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Speaker 1: Why is he so concerned about her feelings and not mine?

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Speaker 4: Please help?

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Speaker 1: Okay, we've seen this movie before. He's a typical mama's boy.

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Speaker 1: What else can you say? I mean, he either doesn't

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Speaker 1: know how or he refuses to cut the apron strings

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Speaker 1: and put you his wife first. His mom is a metler,

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Speaker 1: and she's there unannounced, not to see her grandson's like

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Speaker 1: she said, I mean, she's there to wreak havoc, to

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Speaker 1: get in your business. She's there to be nosy and

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Speaker 1: to undermine your relationship. And I'm glad you changed the

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Speaker 1: alarm codes again. And yes you should change the locks again, Riquiem. No,

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Speaker 1: she should not have access to your house like this.

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Speaker 1: No one should but you and your husband. I think

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Speaker 1: it's time for you and your husband to have a

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Speaker 1: serious talk about how are you going to move forward

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Speaker 1: with his mama out of the house and out of

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Speaker 1: your business.

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Speaker 3: Steve, he doesn't strike me as a mama's boy. That's

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Speaker 3: not what he strikes me as. Oh, he's concerned about

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Speaker 3: his mother. He's trying to do for his mother. But

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Speaker 3: I don't think he's a mama's boy. If he was

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Speaker 3: a mama's boy, he would have insisted that she's staying now.

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Speaker 3: It was his mama's boy, he would have she would

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Speaker 3: he would have insisted that you all get the bigger

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Speaker 3: house with the bed of the house there.

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Speaker 2: Instead, he moved her three blocks away.

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Speaker 3: Probably because the marriage was over with, you know, and

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Speaker 3: so she was alone and he has money and he's

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Speaker 3: trying to pay his mom back. That's what it sounds

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Speaker 3: like to me. But this is all going bad for you,

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Speaker 3: and rightfully so. The question you asked in the letter, though,

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Speaker 3: was why is he so concerned about her feelings and

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Speaker 3: not mine?

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Speaker 2: Well, it's his mother.

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Speaker 3: Most dudes are concerned about their mother's feeling It's not

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Speaker 3: that he's not concerned about yours. He is, but he's

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Speaker 3: still giving his mama some access. Your problem is the

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Speaker 3: past is haunting you, his past, the boys being a

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Speaker 3: spy for the mama, the grandmama liking the ex better

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Speaker 3: than you.

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Speaker 2: That's your problems. It's a combination.

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Speaker 3: Because you started the letter off complaining you know that

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Speaker 3: you know you married a man from another country, obviously

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Speaker 3: some Caribbean country, because you mentioned that about his mother.

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Speaker 2: He moved to Texas for he's a doctor.

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Speaker 3: Got these two teenage boys that chose to move to

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Speaker 3: Texas with him after the divorce.

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Speaker 2: So obviously he's good dude.

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Speaker 3: They're in high school and they're friendly to me, but

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Speaker 3: it's very obvious that they are spies for their mom.

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Speaker 2: Pull up, lady, they still love their mama.

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Speaker 3: Now, they're not spies for the mama, but the mama

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Speaker 3: is using them for information.

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Speaker 2: What she looked like, let me see her, and so.

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Speaker 3: He faced timing, and then he aim the camera at you,

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Speaker 3: so she got a good look at you. The boys

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Speaker 3: and their mama are not the problem, okay, but you

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Speaker 3: mentioned it. Though you mentioned it, so now the mama

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Speaker 3: becomes the straw that broke the camel's back because you

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Speaker 3: think everybody out to get you. You just saying the

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Speaker 3: boys is nice to you. After they face timing, she

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Speaker 3: in the room, let me see them.

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Speaker 2: They ain't gonna do it. This is mama.

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Speaker 3: Now, my husband's mother is the problem because right before

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Speaker 3: we got married, she moved.

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Speaker 2: To Texas too.

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Speaker 3: She was living in Virginia with her second husband, but

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Speaker 3: she left him to come ruin my life. Well, the

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Speaker 3: marriage didn't work and our only family she got is

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Speaker 3: in Texas. He moved there from another country. My baby

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Speaker 3: in Texas, my grandkids. I'm gonna go live out there.

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Speaker 3: Too bad for you. You told him you weren't gonna

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Speaker 3: marry him if he allowed his mother to live with us.

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Speaker 3: He tried to sneak it in doing our home search

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Speaker 3: by looking for homes with a nice bedroom on the

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Speaker 3: first floor.

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Speaker 2: No, so that was not happening. He considered your feelings.

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Speaker 2: It didn't happen.

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Speaker 3: So instead she's got a little studio apartment in the

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Speaker 3: building about three miles from our home.

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Speaker 2: That ain't bad. The boys go pick up all the time.

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Speaker 2: It's they grandmama, all right. Somehow she end up at

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Speaker 2: our house. That's why they live.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subjects

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Speaker 1: his mama has too much access.

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Speaker 4: We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show. You've heard us talk

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Speaker 1: radio dot com again. That's one eight hundred two five

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Speaker 1: to one fifty four hundred or globelifradio dot com. All right,

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Speaker 1: come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject

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Speaker 1: his mama has too much access.

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Speaker 2: Now, I'll admit that the title of the letter.

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Speaker 3: Is true, but your reasoning for thinking it is a

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Speaker 3: little bit off.

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Speaker 2: But just let me try to help you with it.

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Speaker 3: Your husband is a divorced doctor from another country, moved

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Speaker 3: to Texas get work.

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Speaker 2: You got two teenage boys.

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Speaker 3: They decided to move to Texas with their daddy follow

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Speaker 3: the money.

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Speaker 2: They in high school.

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Speaker 3: They friendly to me, but obviously that they are spies

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Speaker 3: for they mom. Don't relegate the boys down to that.

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Speaker 3: You just said they're nice to you, they like you.

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Speaker 3: They mama is taking advantage of the situation. It ain't

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Speaker 3: that the boys is spies. But then you say the

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Speaker 3: boys and the mama ain't the problem. But you just

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Speaker 3: said they was it's really her mama. Right before we

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Speaker 3: got married, she moved to Texas too. She was living

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Speaker 3: in Virginia with her second husband, but she left him

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Speaker 3: to come ruin my life.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if you noticed it.

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Speaker 3: Everything in this letter is about you and how you

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Speaker 3: feel and what's wrong with you. And I understand that

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Speaker 3: that's why you write in the letters. But come on,

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Speaker 3: Ain't nobody moved here to ruin your life. You don't

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Speaker 3: like the lady. I told my husband I was gonna

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Speaker 3: marry him and be allowed his mother to live with us.

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Speaker 3: He didn't, but he tried to sneak it in doing

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Speaker 3: our search for homes with a nice bedroom on the

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Speaker 3: first floor.

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Speaker 2: I told him, no, sir, that's not happening.

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Speaker 3: He didn't do it, ended up getting his mom in

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Speaker 3: an apartment three miles away in a building. Okay, the

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Speaker 3: boys go pick up all the time them how she

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Speaker 3: ends up at our house.

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Speaker 2: It's where the boy stay. I am tired of her.

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Speaker 3: She loves to mention my husband's ex wife to the

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Speaker 3: boys and make sure that I hear her conversation. I

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Speaker 3: got that, you know, she rubbing it in. She liked

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Speaker 3: the other lady better than she liked you. Facts that

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Speaker 3: just happened. Maybe the lady was nice nice to her.

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Speaker 3: You ain't nice to her. You're not welcoming to her,

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Speaker 3: You're not kind to her. So yeah, she liked the

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Speaker 3: other lady better. You don't see that. She's even cut

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Speaker 3: her eyes at me once or twice to engage me,

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Speaker 3: but I ignored her. I don't know what that means. Cut

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Speaker 3: her eyes at me once or twice to engage me.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what that means.

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Speaker 2: Anyway. She told me that now, but I've ignored her.

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Speaker 3: My husband recently gave her keith of the house cold

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Speaker 3: to the alarm in case of emergency.

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Speaker 2: She told me, now she can come check on her

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Speaker 2: grandsons whenever she wants to.

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Speaker 3: That night, I had alarm cold change, and I'm thinking

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Speaker 3: about Rique and all the wreki and all the locks.

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Speaker 3: My husband knows this tiny careb mama is a passim,

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Speaker 3: but instead of talking to her, he gives her more

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Speaker 3: access to hers. Why is he concerned about so concerned

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Speaker 3: about her feelings and not mine. He is concerned about

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Speaker 3: your feelings, But that's his mama. What you want him

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Speaker 3: to do? Throw his mama to the side. She'd have

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Speaker 3: moved a Texas second marriage is over. It ain't working out.

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Speaker 3: He knows mama crazy.

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Speaker 4: You don't think that. But is his mama him giving.

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Speaker 1: Her his mom access to the house though she can

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Speaker 1: come in whenever.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know you would give your mother a

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Speaker 3: ki to your house for emergency.

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Speaker 2: You would do that. You would do that.

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Speaker 3: But if she lived in the same if she lived

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Speaker 3: in the same city, you would give your mama a

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Speaker 3: key to the house in case you need. You with

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Speaker 3: out a country that when our town you left, some

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Speaker 3: everybody would do that. I don't think nobody, not when

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Speaker 3: your mama never have a key to this I don't

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Speaker 3: think that was it. The problem is she told her

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Speaker 3: I can come over it whatever I want. But you

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Speaker 3: know that may not be the case because the boys

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Speaker 3: got to go over there to get her, you know,

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Speaker 3: and they end up at the house. Please help. I

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Speaker 3: think you should chill a little bit. Why don't you

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Speaker 3: take this approach? Why don't you make friends with the mama?

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Speaker 2: Why don't y'all go to lunch one day?

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Speaker 3: Why don't y'all go shopping one day and just.

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Speaker 2: Share how you feel? Ask her?

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Speaker 3: Can y'all have a better relationship try that. Have you

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Speaker 3: ever thought of that? Are you just stuck on getting

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Speaker 3: it your way or no way? Because you changing the

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Speaker 3: long codes.

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Speaker 2: On the woman? That ain't right?

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Speaker 3: You know? Come on, now, a simple conversation with the

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Speaker 3: lady might fix that. No, I suppose that is a

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Speaker 3: real emergency and she coming over there and she can't

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Speaker 3: get in because of long cold ain't working.

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Speaker 1: So so isn't that a conversation that the husband should

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Speaker 1: have with the mom?

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Speaker 3: No, it's the two women got to have this conversation.

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Speaker 3: You can't fix two women. Surely tried you ever tried that?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: You're not fixing two women? Not no, dude, because you

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Speaker 3: you don't even understand where they're coming from. But I'm

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Speaker 3: saying that's the conversation between I just told you in

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Speaker 3: my answer to the letter that I think Shirley that

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Speaker 3: she ought to have conversations with the man. Mama. Now

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Speaker 3: you had your chance to do the letter. Fix my answer.

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Speaker 4: Now, I'm telling you why I can't say you can

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Speaker 4: say whatever. I'm just asking a question.

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Speaker 2: I just told her. I ain't saying nothing why you

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Speaker 2: were doing that?

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Speaker 4: I ask the questions. But go ahead, Tommy, uh uh.

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Speaker 2: Am?

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Speaker 4: I wrong?

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Speaker 3: Am I wrong for what I'm saying. You call am

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Speaker 3: I wrong for what I'm saying?

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Speaker 2: Is just ask you a question? Can she not ask

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Speaker 2: all right questions?

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Speaker 3: Sir?

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Speaker 4: It's nothing.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.

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Speaker 4: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show