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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 2: You know, when I posted the last episode, I've been

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Speaker 2: doing I've been posting the episodes now on the in

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Speaker 2: feeds and uh, just you know, getting more people involved

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Speaker 2: in the wind Down chat of things. I didn't see

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Speaker 2: anything negative, but apparently there was something negative.

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Speaker 1: Well there was two this week. So the first one

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Speaker 1: was just like the best conversation ever.

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Speaker 2: What was this about?

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Speaker 1: These girls? Know, it was about the like toddlers and stuff.

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Speaker 1: I read every single one of those comments like I

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Speaker 1: was back having toddlers. Like I enjoyed every second of that,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, this is so fun. We're all commenting,

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Speaker 1: and then we go to the next one and it's like.

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Speaker 2: Excited for the next one.

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Speaker 1: She's like, that's you. Was it bad? I mean, it

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Speaker 1: wasn't terrible. It's just which I'm not disagreeing with any anything,

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Speaker 1: anyone saying yeah absolutely, and I just had like, again,

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Speaker 1: it was just tough because because people feel very strongly,

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Speaker 1: you know obviously, which wasn't really our conversation on whether

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Speaker 1: this happened to her or not.

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Speaker 2: I wondered if the comments on that were to the

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Speaker 2: clip and not to people.

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Speaker 1: And that's where again. But every that I love that,

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Speaker 1: though I do, it's hard sometimes because I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: but that's I, you know, like I'm not not supporting her,

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Speaker 1: you know, and it gets hard. But then I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I love to hear everyone's opinions, like, yeah, I truly do.

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Speaker 2: And I think I didn't recognize anything was off because

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Speaker 2: when I looked at the comments, I saw you being

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Speaker 2: like agree, So I didn't really.

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Speaker 1: And it was nothing bad. It's just, you know, I

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Speaker 1: have those moments where I'm like, I mean, I really

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Speaker 1: really wasn't saying that. I didn't think that this happened

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Speaker 1: to her or thing, you know, So I just want

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Speaker 1: to be very clear on that.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, Guys, how's everyone, how's everyone doing, what's everyone's updates?

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Speaker 2: What's going on? It's the four one one.

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Speaker 1: With the four one one. Oh my gosh. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's hot and it's ridiculously hot.

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Speaker 2: I don't feel cute right now. I don't know if

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Speaker 2: I should say the air. I'm not looking for compliments,

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Speaker 2: but I gotta tell I'm just in a rut. Do

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Speaker 2: you ever get into one? I don't. I would actually

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Speaker 2: like to bring this to the panel.

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Speaker 1: Brand because.

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Speaker 2: Because I don't know, I can't. I feel like enough.

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Speaker 2: I don't even like the words in a funk, and

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Speaker 2: I don't like to say I'm in something because I

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Speaker 2: don't think I'm in something. But man, and then I

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Speaker 2: really pulled up the period calendar, which I know we

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Speaker 2: talked about excessively, but there is a correlation to that

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Speaker 2: for me, and I'm like a solid eight or nine

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Speaker 2: days out from so I'm like, that doesn't feel like

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Speaker 2: it could be this. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm just how did we all get so off?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I think I think all of our

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Speaker 2: periods are trying to have like a team meeting behind

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Speaker 2: our back and come at the same.

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Speaker 1: Time they were at the same time. I know, now

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Speaker 1: we've all just throwing off.

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Speaker 2: That's How is your relationship with Preston at the moment?

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Speaker 1: I think it's great.

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Speaker 2: I feel really it's been together. We're always to like, no,

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Speaker 2: we're not together, but I mean when he's home, there's

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Speaker 2: always good intimacy. Like that part because I know sometimes

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Speaker 2: when I start to feel a little off is because

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Speaker 2: I mean, I'll even say it. This past week, you know,

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Speaker 2: the kids are at the beach and Alan and I

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Speaker 2: are just really focused on I'm trying to learn my script.

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Speaker 2: You know, we've got Roman and you know, just trying

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Speaker 2: to like get as much work done as possible because

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Speaker 2: then we go to the lake for Fourth of July.

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Speaker 2: And I even said last night to him, I was like,

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Speaker 2: I feel like we haven't even connected, and then when

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Speaker 2: we don't connect, I feel off. Yeah, and I could

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Speaker 2: be a piece at time. So I'm like, can we

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Speaker 2: do like so today or tonight we're going to try

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Speaker 2: to have like a date night. We're make it bad

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Speaker 2: because he's been working late at night. I've been reading

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Speaker 2: my script late night. So normally when we get together

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Speaker 2: post bedtime, it's us, but it hasn't been. It's been

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Speaker 2: maybe that's a piece because I keep falling asleep in

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Speaker 2: Love's bed like hard you guys, like wake up at

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Speaker 2: one in the morning, and I'm like and then I

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Speaker 2: come down.

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Speaker 1: And he's all tucked in and I'm like.

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Speaker 2: Well, I would love to just have like yeah, So

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Speaker 2: we've consistently had three nights of no maybe the suspection

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Speaker 2: time together and this morning he's like, you got him,

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Speaker 2: like not really, and I was like, I don't really

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Speaker 2: know why. So then when I went for I did

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Speaker 2: a meeting downtown, came back, I was like, I know

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Speaker 2: what it is. I was like, we haven't connected. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like we're around each other, Yes, we've been here all day,

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Speaker 2: We've just been passing.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I just I feel like summers have always

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Speaker 1: been worse for us, always you and Nick. Yeah, because

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Speaker 1: it's like we're technically both working from home and it's

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Speaker 1: just who's here, who's there, who gets to leave the

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Speaker 1: house to go do so, you know, and it's always

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Speaker 1: been a stressful. It's a lot less stressful as I've

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Speaker 1: gotten older, I feel like, but it's still like there's

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Speaker 1: no time for us.

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Speaker 2: I feel like in the summer, guys, and he gets

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Speaker 2: on a bus at nine tonight. So I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: how I'm going to fix this.

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Speaker 1: She's like, oh no, we figured it out here.

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Speaker 2: I think there is something too that I just I'm like,

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Speaker 2: when I got dressed the last two days, and you

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Speaker 2: know I love to get dressed. Yeah, I've not been

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Speaker 2: feeling that. Like today I curled my hair just to like,

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Speaker 2: I was like, come on, girl, you're in there somewhere,

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Speaker 2: Like what's going to bring you out? You know?

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Speaker 1: Like trying to work out to.

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Speaker 2: Do THEAH and I think it's hard too. It's and

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Speaker 2: when I said that, he's like, well, would you want to,

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Speaker 2: you know, go go hit some golf balls or because

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Speaker 2: we like to do something that's fun and adventurous together.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, well, it's one hundred and something to

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Speaker 2: brings out, so like no, but I do want to

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Speaker 2: hang out with you, so I'm like I don't. However

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Speaker 2: that looks. I was like, can we just maybe not?

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Speaker 2: Can I put the script away tonight and can you

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Speaker 2: you know, not do your analysis stuff late tonight so

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Speaker 2: that way it's not just ten o'clock the night, like,

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Speaker 2: and then we're just seeing each other because I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I'm as even though it's the mundane, like, Okay, what

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Speaker 2: show do we want to watch? Which we watched? We started,

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Speaker 2: you know, a new show last week. So I'm like, I,

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Speaker 2: even though it's simple, I still enjoy that connection piece

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Speaker 2: with you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Same, And it's weird when I don't have it, I

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Speaker 2: get kind of sad. Yeah, and that's what it is.

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Speaker 2: It's like it's not and that's where I was That's

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Speaker 2: why I was asking you And I don't want to

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Speaker 2: put mine on you. But for me, that's what it

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Speaker 2: was because it's like it does lower my energy. Yes,

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Speaker 2: it makes me just like, do I owe you one

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Speaker 2: hundred and twenty five dollars cope.

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Speaker 1: For this fasite. I mean, I'm going to give it

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Speaker 1: a try.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, give it a yeah. And we've been on

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Speaker 2: a little bit of a health kick together. I'm always

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Speaker 2: on one, but now I have a little bit of

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Speaker 2: a partner in crime. So he's detoxing. He talked to

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Speaker 2: Nate and we have to do a little dtalk. So

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Speaker 2: he's soning in with me and he is walking with me.

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 1: I know it's handsome, but I.

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Speaker 2: Will say though there is I know we always talked

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Speaker 2: about how it's so great summer. It's it's a lot

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Speaker 2: of fun, but you do get out of your normal routine.

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Speaker 2: So it's like normally, where I drop the kids off

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Speaker 2: of the bus stop at eight twenty five, I would

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Speaker 2: then do my walk workout. Well, I can't do that

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Speaker 2: because the hours are different with you know, the kids

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Speaker 2: and Rumen and I accidentally went to Fine Arts camp.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if you've seen that in my stories,

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Speaker 2: but what I saw that, well, I'll make it fast.

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Speaker 2: Love enrolled in the Fine Arts camp. I was super

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Speaker 2: excited for her, but she is the youngest youngest, Like

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Speaker 2: they actually made exceptions for a few of her little friends,

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Speaker 2: so they're like, they're the only three nine year old there.

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Speaker 2: When remember like eleven to thirteen, I feel like I

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Speaker 2: saw some kind of fine arts. It was like it's

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Speaker 2: like big kids, yeah, and you know, they're like it's

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Speaker 2: a very vulnerable space, as you know, they're doing acting, singing, dancing,

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Speaker 2: and so she loves dancing. She doesn't. She sings like

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Speaker 2: her mom, not like her aunt Janna. And then you know,

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Speaker 2: acting super fun for her. Its improv teacher. The instructors

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Speaker 2: are incredible. They're from like Juilliard and they're off of

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Speaker 2: Broadway and it's awesome. But it's like a very vulnerable

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Speaker 2: creative space and I can tell it's a little overwhelming,

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Speaker 2: but she loves it. So I went the first day

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Speaker 2: and I offered a volunteer the whole day because I

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Speaker 2: thought that out to just ease it, you know. And

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Speaker 2: then the second day she was like, you're not leaving right,

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, what, I'd love to because I didn't

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Speaker 2: want to go to campg.

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Speaker 1: And can I learn the ball chain combo because I'd

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Speaker 1: love to be able, like I've never got to do that.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't, you know, and then improv class. I feel

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Speaker 2: like I could really nail it.

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Speaker 1: Chan like get out of the way. You're like a camper.

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Speaker 2: Now do you guys go to campus kids? I mean.

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Speaker 1: Like church camp, church camp. Not much other than that,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't really I feel like it wasn't really here

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Speaker 1: as much of a thing to like be in camps

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Speaker 1: all the time. I don't think it.

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Speaker 2: I don't know that it was for our generation.

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Speaker 1: Maybe well. I feel other areas of the country they

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Speaker 1: go away for like a month for camp or like weeks.

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Speaker 1: You know, that was very that's very normal, I think,

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Speaker 1: like more up north and just different areas of the

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Speaker 1: country where you know, you go away for like weeks

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Speaker 1: and that was what you did in the summer.

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Speaker 2: Here.

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Speaker 1: We didn't do that as much. But also it wasn't

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Speaker 1: as normal for us to just like like I was

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Speaker 1: just at home while my parents worked, you know, like

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Speaker 1: I didn't go anywhere. I was just at home fending

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Speaker 1: for myself.

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Speaker 2: I went to Young Life camp, went to that and camp,

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Speaker 2: and there's your gift. I went to Marching band camp. Yes,

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Speaker 2: anything you'd like to say for now, I think that's

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Speaker 2: what do you think it is? I think it's great American.

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Speaker 2: I was not a flue player. I went to camp.

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Speaker 2: I don't. I actually don't know how many times I went.

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Speaker 2: I just remember not enjoying camp and then just being

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Speaker 2: kind of solo within the experience, like I didn't have

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Speaker 2: any friends. And it's interesting because when now my kids

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Speaker 2: have really done camps this year, they did, you know,

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Speaker 2: the Deer Run camp they've done, they did like a

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Speaker 2: lot of shine for a week. But I'm very much like,

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Speaker 2: like one of the camps, you know, one kid was

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Speaker 2: like mean to Jason. It like broke my heart, right,

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Speaker 2: and so but then this next one they had a

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Speaker 2: great one. It was more Christian led and it was

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Speaker 2: very sweet. But you know, I'm like, did you make

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Speaker 2: any new friends? Did you have fun? Like? And Joey's

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Speaker 2: like not really, And I'm like, oh, but what you know?

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Speaker 2: But they still seem like they had fun. But I

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Speaker 2: think I'm like portraying my stuff onto them because I'm like, what.

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Speaker 1: Kind of camps did you do?

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Speaker 2: Just to hang out?

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Speaker 1: Camp camp?

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Speaker 2: It was like we were at a park all day.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, I didn't enjoy it, but I don't

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Speaker 2: really remember it, to be honest.

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Speaker 1: So did they have fun? They said they had fun

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Speaker 1: or they said they didn't.

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Speaker 2: No, they said they had fun at Deer Run. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they like they enjoyed that one. But Jolie just said

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Speaker 2: she didn't really make But I don't know, Like she

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Speaker 2: kept telling me how much fun she had, but that

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Speaker 2: she didn't really make any friends. What's kind of why

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Speaker 2: I'm at for Fine art Why I'm kind of that's

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Speaker 2: kind of why I'm at Fine Arts camp. Because she's

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Speaker 2: having the time of her life and then we get

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Speaker 2: in the car and she's like, that was awesome and

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Speaker 2: she's one of like a million miles an hour. And

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Speaker 2: then the next day she's like I don't want to

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Speaker 2: go and I'm like, but it's amazing, like I saw it.

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, that's hard, I mean, because I will absolutely

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Speaker 1: portray my stuff on my kids. I mean it's hard

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Speaker 1: not to. But that's interesting, like did she really not

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Speaker 1: make any friends?

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Speaker 2: Or you just want to be a fly on in

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Speaker 2: those situations?

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Speaker 1: Same because I mean, I I don't see Jolie as

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Speaker 1: someone just playing the whole time by herself.

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Speaker 2: No, and she is the sweet child.

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Speaker 1: She's so sweet.

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Speaker 2: There's this little bench at school and if there is

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Speaker 2: someone sitting on the bench, it's a it's an I

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Speaker 2: need a buddy bench. So what the teacher said is

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Speaker 2: she goes Jolie and like pretty smuch. All the teachers

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Speaker 2: told me this. She is the most consistent kid to

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Speaker 2: check the bench to make sure that like someone is

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Speaker 2: not sitting by themselves, and so it just kind of

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Speaker 2: it shocks me in a way. But I also think

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Speaker 2: the other time, because like Jay said, he wasn't liking

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Speaker 2: the other camp, well, I showed up early to watch

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Speaker 2: to see to almost make me feel better.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, having fun.

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Speaker 2: I know that sounds messed up, but like I saw

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Speaker 2: him like messing around with the boy, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: he's fine, he's yeah. That's why I just make up

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Speaker 2: in my brain that like they're sitting by themselves in

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Speaker 2: a corner, because that's my worst fhere. That's how I felt.

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Speaker 1: I would may know that I would make up a

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Speaker 1: whole story about what happened the entire time in camp,

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Speaker 1: and it was terrible and memoroluntears like okay, but we

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Speaker 1: all know that experience.

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Speaker 2: That's why we can do that exactly, so we know

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Speaker 2: how it feels to be a loner, to feel left out.

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Speaker 2: I feel like your buddy bench genetics have passed on

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Speaker 2: because I think you're a walking buddy bench friend.

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Speaker 1: Well I just.

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Speaker 2: Always say, I'm like, you know, you know, let's always

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Speaker 2: include people, and yeah, you're the most buddy bench friend.

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Speaker 2: I think I have to be on buddy bench friend.

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Speaker 1: That's cute, that's true.

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Speaker 2: Would compliment, thanks, friend, I appreciate it. But going to

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Speaker 2: change of contact info buddy bench in corporate, I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: change my incorporated from Sophie Dog to Buddy Bench. Do

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Speaker 2: we have a wine about it? I actually don't.

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Speaker 1: I have nothing to whine about. I don't necessarily have

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Speaker 1: a whine about it. I have like I'm freaking out

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Speaker 1: about something I like to not that big of a deal,

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Speaker 1: but like I'm literally went down this rabbit hole last night.

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Speaker 1: I'm panicking and it's not even that big of a

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Speaker 1: deal at all. Y'all are like, what are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: You're gonna be like what, I don't see this in you.

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Speaker 1: I am literally freaking out right now because of Okay.

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Speaker 2: If he will make the softball team.

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Speaker 1: I'm no, it's not that good. Good I guess I

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Speaker 1: don't know if she will, but anyway, no, okay, so

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Speaker 1: when you start having a teenager, you know that whole gift.

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Speaker 1: It's like, if you have a teenager, then you know

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Speaker 1: what the UV is. Have you' all seen this?

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Speaker 2: I know about the UV's because of because of Tory

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Speaker 2: my steps. They always check the UV.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and I'm like, what is this?

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Speaker 2: Apparently it's a very I thought it was just a

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Speaker 2: British thing. What is the v UV is about the tanning?

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Speaker 2: So it's like you what it was? Okay? Like I

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Speaker 2: just would as a kid, I would be like, it's

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Speaker 2: sonny out, I'm going to get it exactly like I

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Speaker 2: didn't know if there wasn't actually a UV thing. So

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Speaker 2: I was like, wait, tell me more. And so I

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Speaker 2: just again thought it had to have been a British thing.

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Speaker 2: It's not.

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Speaker 1: No, no, it's it's your major thing. It's a hey,

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Speaker 1: the UV is high, let's tan okay fine.

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Speaker 2: It's like, oh ten is like what am I hearing?

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm having a body experience. Felt like

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Speaker 2: a grandma when he was explaining this, Well, the good

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Speaker 2: news is U V still means UV.

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Speaker 1: I mean, because I don't know what is the thing

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Speaker 1: that I'm confused about? And I'm like, is that cavy?

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Speaker 1: Don't get me started on that. We could have a

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Speaker 1: whole nother podcast on that. No, So the UV thing

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Speaker 1: so that everyone knows what the UV is, like, it's okay,

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Speaker 1: we're going to tan Well, this is making me thinking about.

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Speaker 2: Is I just I felt so dumb when he was

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Speaker 2: trying to explain this to me, him and his girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: I was like, wait, what, how do.

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Speaker 1: You know what the UV is?

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Speaker 2: It's just an It's like the weather, it's not you

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Speaker 2: just literally go on so what watch a few weather

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Speaker 2: you go to daily? And I mean it's because when

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Speaker 2: he was in time, I was like, yeah, I need

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Speaker 2: to let him know THEV is like UV MAXUV index

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Speaker 2: eleven doesn't need to ultra violet rays and we were

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Speaker 2: trying to avoid.

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Speaker 1: That in theory. Now comes my freak out.

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Speaker 2: Okay, here we go.

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Speaker 1: Okay, is the baby oil out go part of my

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Speaker 1: freak out? So for me, so did my child the

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Speaker 1: other day. Anyway, I'm freaking out because they're obsessed with tanning. Emmy,

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Speaker 1: what has happenings skin Cayden.

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Speaker 2: Ramsay has nick skin so tanner.

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Speaker 1: Well, what my skin used to be. I used to

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Speaker 1: be a whole lot tanner. Like my family was very

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Speaker 1: tan right.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, I feel like you would bronze.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I just don't like tan. I don't love to

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Speaker 1: go out in the sun. So I'm a lot paler now. Well,

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Speaker 1: Jimmy's yeah, she's got very fair skin. Okay. So they

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Speaker 1: are obsessed with tanning, right, and I am literally fighting

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Speaker 1: my thirteen year old to put on sunscreen. She like

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Speaker 1: will spray it like this, and I'm like that does

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Speaker 1: not count. Right, So last night I go down this

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Speaker 1: rabbit hole.

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Speaker 2: What SPF are you asking her to put on?

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean thirty, which is fine. I mean according

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Speaker 1: to the rabbit hole I went down, it's fine. It

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Speaker 1: blocks ninety six percent of it, truly. The other stuff

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Speaker 1: doesn't even really matter. But they are past hanning stuff too,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't even matter.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So all that to say, I will send tiktoks to

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Speaker 1: Emmy and I'm like, this is why I do this,

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Speaker 1: This is why because you know whatever. Well, of course,

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Speaker 1: now my ag algorithm on. It's all these dermatologists and

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Speaker 1: it's like basically every dermatologist saying melanoma is created from

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Speaker 1: the sunburns you get when you're a kid. So now

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Speaker 1: I'm pining.

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Speaker 2: I am literally from sunburn.

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Speaker 1: Tanning and sunburns, yes, that you get when you're a child.

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Speaker 1: One sunburn when you are a child, according to all

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Speaker 1: of these dermatologists on my thing, doubles your chances of melanoma. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So I am literally a panic mode because do I

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Speaker 1: want to tell my thirteen year old you can never

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Speaker 1: go tan with your friends? No, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: be that mom. I whatever. But I also am literally

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Speaker 1: I'm just in a panic mode because I don't know.

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Speaker 2: What to do. I have. I'm writing notes right now

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Speaker 2: because I have I have. Well, first of all, I

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Speaker 2: have no advice to give to you.

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Speaker 1: No one else does. Really.

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Speaker 2: On here, I have my thoughts of how I was

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Speaker 2: as a kid.

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Speaker 1: Would you like to hear that you have tanned your

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Speaker 1: entire life with nothing on? First of all, you are

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Speaker 1: born tan and that doesn't count exactly, So you have

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Speaker 1: all of the time melanin.

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Speaker 2: Oh, she's really goog I told you all, y'all, and

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Speaker 2: she got a dermatology degree, and.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna have people because here, okay, so yes, I forget, okay.

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Speaker 2: Time out really fast. Let me just go back because

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna get a lot of hate on this. I

396
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Speaker 2: am well aware that I should have worn sunscreen as

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Speaker 2: a child. Oh of course, yeah, I am well aware,

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Speaker 2: and I know my mom put on the copper tone

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Speaker 2: baby like whatever SPF on me. Having said that my

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00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,919
Speaker 2: mother was the generation that used on those for the baboil, right,

401
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,200
Speaker 2: I then went to if my mother gave me anything

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Speaker 2: more than an eight SPF, I would be like, yeah,

403
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Speaker 2: the reps. I cannot get a ten with anything less

404
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Speaker 2: than you know, eight.

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Speaker 1: That's my thirteen years.

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Speaker 2: So I mean I would use the bronze whatever that

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Speaker 2: beach what I don't even know what it was called,

408
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,800
Speaker 2: but it was the oil the eight SPF, so I

409
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Speaker 2: would use that as my bass layer, and then that

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Speaker 2: would be it, right because I never burned the only one.

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Speaker 2: The first time I ever burned was when I filmed

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Speaker 2: the It was a I can't remember what season it

413
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,600
Speaker 2: was of One Tree Hill. We went to Puerto Rico

414
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Speaker 2: and Sophia Bush was like, you need to put on

415
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Speaker 2: santane lotion. I was like, oh no, I don't burn

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00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,159
Speaker 2: I've never burned in my entire life. She's like, this

417
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Speaker 2: is a different sun here, like you're going to burn.

418
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Speaker 2: I was like, no, no, no, I'm not going to burn.

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Speaker 2: I burnt so bad that my forehead completely peeled, and

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Speaker 2: so I was two different colors for the episode. It

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Speaker 2: was so bad. But then I started wearing sunscreen, probably

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Speaker 2: in my like thirties. Yeah, I started to because obviously

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Speaker 2: our skin changes. But I will say this, and I

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Speaker 2: don't know. I'm obviously not a solar expert. I am

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00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:32,720
Speaker 2: not sure. But hasn't the sun got more damaging? Isn't?

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Speaker 2: Or no?

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00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,560
Speaker 1: It all It depends on you. That's where I was

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Speaker 1: going because sunscreen is also this is where I was going.

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Speaker 2: I don't use sunscreen on my kids unless it's going

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Speaker 2: to be for hours outside because I know they don't burn,

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Speaker 2: and there's so much bad stuff in sunscreen that if

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Speaker 2: we're not going to be out there for more than

433
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,520
Speaker 2: a couple hours, listen, come at me. But I'm just

434
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,400
Speaker 2: not putting it on. We haven't been doing that either.

435
00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:58,600
Speaker 1: That's where I'm on.

436
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,480
Speaker 2: The beach for hours and the reflection of all the things,

437
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 2: like I'll put it on his neck, his ears, the baby,

438
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,240
Speaker 2: but like the kids, I haven't put on any on

439
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:11,919
Speaker 2: them because I'm like, we're not they're not getting burned.

440
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,359
Speaker 2: What's worse the burn.

441
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,040
Speaker 1: Or the And that's that's where I'm struggling, because if

442
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:21,520
Speaker 1: you listen to actual dermatologists, they will say, and many

443
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 1: of them will say, over and over and over, there

444
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:28,840
Speaker 1: is nothing that is proving that the sunscreen is causing cancer.

445
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 1: Because that's a lot of people. Yes, right, Okay, I

446
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,640
Speaker 1: have been down all the rabbit holes. I love all

447
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:35,280
Speaker 1: the opinions.

448
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:38,480
Speaker 2: What does it block the vitamin because it's the kids

449
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,639
Speaker 2: need vitamin D no, they which is also so I'm like,

450
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 2: if it's we're out for an hour or two, I'm

451
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,200
Speaker 2: not putting sunscreen lissh on you.

452
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 1: Well, it depends on the hour. I've always been told,

453
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:47,639
Speaker 1: even for my dog, even for my.

454
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,680
Speaker 2: Pediatrician, who is apparently well that's the highest highest. Yeah.

455
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,640
Speaker 1: So even my pediatrician who would never say don't put sunscreen,

456
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,240
Speaker 1: would say in the morning, go out for vitamin D early. Yes,

457
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 1: no sunscreen, are like like or just not during that time.

458
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,680
Speaker 1: But now it's kind of like, all right, what's the

459
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 1: two evils? But again, dermatologists are saying there no one

460
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:12,199
Speaker 1: is proven at all that these sunscreens are causing cancer.

461
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,240
Speaker 1: I don't know the answer to that, but that is

462
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 1: what these dermatologists I've been listening to true, exactly exactly.

463
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,320
Speaker 1: So it's the very similar situation to me, and that

464
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:27,520
Speaker 1: in that regard, I am anal retentive about going every

465
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,960
Speaker 1: year to get my moles checked. I get things cut off,

466
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:31,160
Speaker 1: I do all these sames.

467
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 2: I'm just remembering the time where you're like, you don't

468
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:33,720
Speaker 2: have a mole.

469
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:42,680
Speaker 1: I know, makes me okay, okay, you don't get to

470
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 1: be cute as She literally was like strip having said

471
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,960
Speaker 1: that a dermatologist is going to come into our dms

472
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 1: and say you don't have to. It doesn't. It's not

473
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:56,160
Speaker 1: always moles. I mean, there's way care I check my moles.

474
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 1: I'm very I had a friend who has had melanoma,

475
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 1: who has I am just very crazy about it, right,

476
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,360
Speaker 1: and now I'm like, oh my god, she's had sunburns.

477
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 1: All my kids have had sunburns. Well I don't know

478
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 1: if Caten has, but like they've all had sunburns. Right,

479
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:12,360
Speaker 1: So like goldas never does, and you know that these

480
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 1: show up. Melanoma generally shows up.

481
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 2: Twenty something years later, I lost my Dallas mom to melanoma.

482
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's terrifying, right, so it is. I'm thinking about

483
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: would I rather risk these sunscreens and the toxins in

484
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 1: that when let's just be real, half the other stuff

485
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,760
Speaker 1: that we put on our bodies or probably have toxins

486
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,240
Speaker 1: in it too, Or do I want to risk the

487
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 1: melanoma from the you know, from the sun.

488
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 2: Because she burns right my then advice would be like,

489
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 2: if you're going outside, you're under my roof, you're still

490
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 2: wearing suntanlotion. It's this or you don't go out. Yeah.

491
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,960
Speaker 1: Oh, that was the argument that we had at sound

492
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:56,440
Speaker 1: waves yesterday. Literally, if you argue with me one more

493
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,439
Speaker 1: time about suntan lotionian, you will not tam with your

494
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 1: friends for the rest of the summer of scussion. We're

495
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,879
Speaker 1: not talking about it anymore. And I bought what she.

496
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 2: Said, Just don't don't be don't buy fifty and be

497
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 2: a dick about it. I'm kidding, because here's.

498
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:15,680
Speaker 1: The deal this one. I put fifty on Ramsey. I

499
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,680
Speaker 1: mean I usually thirty or fifty. Face stuff is usually

500
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 1: forty or forty six. So I just bought this new

501
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 1: stuff that's like a forty six face for her. I

502
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,639
Speaker 1: bought a regular one. I bought a tinted she can choose.

503
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,800
Speaker 1: I bought the powder. Have you seen that. There's like

504
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,679
Speaker 1: a lot of powder, so you could just reapply easy,

505
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,920
Speaker 1: Like I'm gonna try and make her life as easy

506
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 1: as possible. But it is not an option to be

507
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,399
Speaker 1: out there tanning without sunscreen. Well I can't have I.

508
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,880
Speaker 2: Learned to you can still, as you know, a kid,

509
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,159
Speaker 2: because I would get upset with my mom when she

510
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 2: did offer me something more. You can still get a

511
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 2: tan through some you know, oh for sure sunscreen and

512
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,119
Speaker 2: all of that. Yeah, And I do want to go

513
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,920
Speaker 2: back to because people are like, you don't put some

514
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,879
Speaker 2: tan lission if it is between like a twelve and

515
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,840
Speaker 2: two more cool. I'm going to do the areas that

516
00:22:57,880 --> 00:22:59,679
Speaker 2: I know he's getting. But he's also in the long sleeves,

517
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:03,479
Speaker 2: you right, I would I just normally am not going

518
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 2: to put it on.

519
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 1: Well, And there's two schools of thought on that, and

520
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:09,920
Speaker 1: I think that's what took me down the rabbit hole

521
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,959
Speaker 1: because I was kind of leaning towards this whole. Well,

522
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know how I feel about

523
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: sunscreen blah blah. But then I'm like, I have officially

524
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,639
Speaker 1: decided I'm more freaked out on this side than i

525
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,159
Speaker 1: am on this side, you know what I mean, how

526
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 1: sometimes you just have to there's two evils and picking

527
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 1: two evils. But that's been my I think too.

528
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know. Is she a visual where it's like, hey,

529
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,439
Speaker 2: I mean look at Teddy Mellencamp. I have sent her,

530
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 2: took her things that show and it's not to like

531
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:42,080
Speaker 2: freak her out, but also like if you don't do this,

532
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 2: like this could lead to this, Like yes, this could

533
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,119
Speaker 2: also lead if you have too much studio or I

534
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:47,920
Speaker 2: don't know whatever it is.

535
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's so many things. I mean obviously there's.

536
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 2: But do you remember when we were younger and people

537
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 2: tried to tell us that I know, And that's what's

538
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 2: so hard. It's just like I know because I'm going

539
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,679
Speaker 2: I can send her pictures of me. It's my pammy

540
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:05,360
Speaker 2: and she's not gonnt. Well, and when you're young, you're invincible, right,

541
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 2: I mean do we put guys, do they do the

542
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,200
Speaker 2: stickers or was that just our generation?

543
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 1: Oh this Tanning bed?

544
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I would never I mean the but I

545
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,200
Speaker 2: did do it, you know, the thing to be like,

546
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 2: oh did I get a tan Yeah? Of course, I

547
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:19,560
Speaker 2: mean they do.

548
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,199
Speaker 1: They kind of do that sometimes now too. I mean

549
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,159
Speaker 1: it's it's like seeing us all over again, you know,

550
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,920
Speaker 1: it truly is it's really gained this resurgence of like

551
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 1: I mean, she had my baby oil out and she

552
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 1: did it one day and I was like, She's like, well,

553
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 1: so and so does it. I was like, you will

554
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:36,440
Speaker 1: never do this again.

555
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 2: It's wild. My neighbor has teenagers and she was like, oh, sorry,

556
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 2: these are in these pool. Chairs are in the pool.

557
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 2: She's like, kids are big on tanning right now.

558
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,399
Speaker 1: And I was like, what is going on? And I

559
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,920
Speaker 1: think what freaks me out the most is truly not

560
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 1: understanding that this is not going to show up for

561
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: twenty or thirty years, so they can't use their screens

562
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: right while they're out there? So is this a pool?

563
00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 2: Like this is where I'm going to go side on this?

564
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 2: There's so many things that are I mean, so many

565
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 2: things God willing. You know, She's we're all our kids

566
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 2: are all still there in twenty something year, you know,

567
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,640
Speaker 2: and yes, letting them live and have fun too. While

568
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:12,639
Speaker 2: I don't know, there's a balance.

569
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,359
Speaker 1: Well, that's why I'll never tell her that she can't.

570
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,879
Speaker 1: And that's why I was like, look, I am all

571
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 1: about you. Y'all love this, I get it, but like,

572
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 1: we just have to be smart. Doing this on your

573
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 1: face is doing nothing, Like none of the spray even

574
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 1: got on there.

575
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 2: So we just need to be more responsible and protecting

576
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 2: the areas that could maybe cause more issues, like your

577
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 2: chest and.

578
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,639
Speaker 1: Like, well and well, the crmatologist I was watching this

579
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 1: was fascinating. She was like explaining the areas that are

580
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 1: so hard to cut off if you do have a

581
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 1: spot nose earships.

582
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,880
Speaker 2: Do you know the commonplace for which she is back

583
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:45,440
Speaker 2: at your legs?

584
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, it's wild. I haven't had Yeah, I've had

585
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 1: I've had them everywhere.

586
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, but same, I'm molly. I'm still a little bit

587
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 2: concerned that our friend doesn't have a mole. I don't

588
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 2: know if we can rewind to that. I just think

589
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,360
Speaker 2: it's wild. I think that there's no more.

590
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:03,119
Speaker 1: People has gotten sun spots since. Yeah, but that's not

591
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 1: the same as like a dimension I'm telling this year

592
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 1: in Mexico, which was probably gosh, I don't know, eight

593
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 1: nine years ago I didn't believe her. I was literally

594
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 1: and she was like, my believer. I just don't think

595
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 1: it's fair, it's insane. I did not believe. How do

596
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 1: you not all my kids have moles like all over

597
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:22,359
Speaker 1: their bodies.

598
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well I don't know if we have moles.

599
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 2: We have freckles so far, but I got little we're

600
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:27,879
Speaker 2: little sore.

601
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 1: I mean I have Cayden had a mole caught off

602
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 1: when he was two.

603
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 2: Well, I mean apparently, but yes, almost all people have moles. Moles,

604
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 2: also known as neva, are common skin growths are typically harmless.

605
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 2: It is estimated that ninety to ninety five percent of

606
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 2: people have at least one mole.

607
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 1: Yes, that's what I'm saying.

608
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 2: I'm going to dig in your I mean, let's start

609
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 2: looking somewhere and every one time out for a skin check.

610
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:52,120
Speaker 2: But I do have like I have a little heart

611
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 2: on my leg.

612
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 1: Here's a deal.

613
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:58,640
Speaker 2: It's a birthmark. That's probably, but let me see, I'll determine.

614
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 1: Because a lot of them look like freckle. Like a

615
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:02,959
Speaker 1: lot of these look like freckles, but they're actually going

616
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,240
Speaker 1: to show you about to lift this shirt up. That's

617
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,680
Speaker 1: not Yes, it is, though the ones I get cut

618
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 1: off look like freckles. They're really dark freckles.

619
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 2: Start examining.

620
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 1: Sorry that I I just and I want all that

621
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: to say, send me all your information. If you have

622
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,920
Speaker 1: information about how it's more dangerous to have the sunscreen

623
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 1: on them, send it. So I use the EWG app

624
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 1: if that's helpful, I know. But they say they're all bad.

625
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,400
Speaker 1: No they're not. There's some there's some EWG approof sunscreens.

626
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,400
Speaker 1: I can promise you, though my thirteen year old won't

627
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 1: put those.

628
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 2: I mean, can you put that in the why now? Yeah?

629
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 2: Thank you? Yes, I mean, listen, I am a huge

630
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,920
Speaker 2: advocate for sunscreen. Now with all my milasma and some

631
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 2: spots and stuff, I'm lathering it on constantly and I

632
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 2: and I regret the days that I didn't, but you know.

633
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: I just don't even like to get in the sun.

634
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 1: I'm under an umbrella. I mean, if I'm at the

635
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 1: that's if I'm at the beach, amount an umbrella. I

636
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 1: do my garden check and get my vitamin D.

637
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,440
Speaker 2: And I remember the day though that it was oh yeah,

638
00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 2: like getting a tan and like, hey, how's your girlfriend

639
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:01,879
Speaker 2: event Julie, She's you know, laying out there with Harlow

640
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 2: and I'm.

641
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 1: Like, what are you girls doing?

642
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're getting a tan now. Granted, you know she's

643
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,159
Speaker 2: been sprayed, like you know what I mean, I know,

644
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:09,920
Speaker 2: but the fact that they're not in the pool playing

645
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 2: Marco Polo is like a change.

646
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 1: Yeah right, I know.

647
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 2: I'm with you.

648
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's my wine about it. I guess u

649
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 1: V who knew it's it literally till one o'clock last night.

650
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 2: Good afternoon, ladies. Let me start by saying I have

651
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 2: listened to all the podcasts and this new form is

652
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 2: my favorite thing for all our two girls. I have

653
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 2: an adult daughter aged twenty eight, who is in her

654
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 2: second toxic relationship. Oh it's so tough. Prior to this

655
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 2: current boyfriend, she was in a four year relationship where

656
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 2: she was mentally, physically and verbally abused. It took a

657
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 2: huge toll on her in our family, as we could

658
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 2: not legally protect her. She was over eighteen and at

659
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 2: the time she did not want our help. To watch

660
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 2: our child go through something like this, and realizing you

661
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 2: can no longer protect them breaks you a little. Thankfully,

662
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:05,800
Speaker 2: she did get away from that man, and the only

663
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:09,040
Speaker 2: good that came of it was my granddaughter. Now she

664
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 2: is in another awful relationship. This current boyfriend is twice

665
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 2: her age. Thankfully he does not physically hurt her. He

666
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 2: does talk down to her, cheats, and has held her

667
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 2: against her will once though they have already separated twice

668
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 2: for his behavior. I'm trying so hard to work through

669
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 2: this in therapy. But how do we continue to watch

670
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 2: our baby girl be hurt by men? Her and my

671
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 2: granddaughter deserve as someone special that will treat them with

672
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 2: only kindness. Why can she not see that they deserve

673
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 2: better in life? My daughter is not weak. She is

674
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 2: a strong young lady who finally broke through one horrible

675
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:45,920
Speaker 2: man and I pray she finds a strength soon to

676
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 2: break from this one. But I fear she may not help. Please,

677
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 2: I need advice. How do you protect someone that does

678
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 2: not want your protection? And how do we sit back

679
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 2: and watch us again with our child? How do we

680
00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 2: get through this as a family listener?

681
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 1: That's tough.

682
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 2: I have a thought, go for it one of the

683
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 2: things that I so I resonate a little bit. I

684
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 2: looked at cat at parts of this because it was

685
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 2: how do you protect the people that don't want protecting?

686
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 2: Which I think at one or more points in our

687
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 2: friendship with you, we have felt that, like we knew

688
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 2: this person wasn't good for you, And how do we

689
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 2: speak into that without pushing you away? And I think

690
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 2: one thing I learned quickly was not to excuse the behavior,

691
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 2: but just to reaffirm that I trusted your judgment, like

692
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 2: that if you loved this person, I would love this person.

693
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 2: To reaffirm that you're smart enough. And because I think

694
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 2: people that are in abusive relationships are so often silenced

695
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 2: in so many ways. I watched it a lot growing up,

696
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,239
Speaker 2: and they lose this ability to trust themselves, and they

697
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 2: lose this ability to know what they deserve. And so

698
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 2: anybody that can just compound interests speak the life into

699
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 2: them to maybe start to strengthen that piece and make

700
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 2: that a little louder. It's a long game, and so

701
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 2: I don't know that that's good advice, but that's the

702
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 2: one thing that pops into my brain, is just to

703
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 2: re affirm how smart they are, how much they should

704
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 2: trust themselves, because I that gets taken away so quickly. Yeah,

705
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 2: I mean, I think speaking truth to that person, to

706
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 2: your daughter is one of the most important things. Just

707
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 2: reaffirming to her what she deserves and reminding her how

708
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 2: strong she is. And I think that person your daughter

709
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 2: will hopefully you know, also from the words that you're

710
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 2: speaking to her and then realizing that truth and her strength.

711
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 2: And then I would also encourage her to talk to

712
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 2: someone a therapist, because my therapist is how I was

713
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 2: able to start seeing that. It wasn't like, yeah, my

714
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 2: mom could tell me all day long that she didn't

715
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 2: like my ex what she did, you know, but that

716
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 2: really made me not that I drew away from her,

717
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 2: but I didn't. I stop telling her things because I

718
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 2: knew what she would then say to me. Obviously pretty

719
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 2: much same with you girls too, Like I stopped saying

720
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 2: a lot of this stuff because I'm like, oh, they

721
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 2: already hate them, they already think this, and they're just

722
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 2: going to keep saying you know, you don't deserve this.

723
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 2: But a therapist telling you and you discerning stuff with

724
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 2: her is or with a therapist is different because they

725
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 2: really help you find your strength and then realize like, okay,

726
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 2: all right, if I want this, how do I get there?

727
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 2: And they can help you walk that path as opposed

728
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 2: to like you. So I would encourage her to to

729
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 2: go talk to someone and even listen if she's like,

730
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:53,960
Speaker 2: well I can't afford it, maybe that's your thing to be,

731
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 2: Like I would love to gift you. That's what I

732
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 2: was thinking a therapist, and let's do a lunch weekly

733
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 2: in air quote where you do that and we grab

734
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 2: something to eat and it can go under the fall

735
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 2: of lunch and he doesn't even need to know. Yeah,

736
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 2: and it's just something that's that's your way then of

737
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 2: because the end of the day, like you know, once

738
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,480
Speaker 2: our kids are out of our house and old, like

739
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 2: you know, Emmy, you hope that she'll put on suntan

740
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 2: lotion when she's out of your house, but she might not.

741
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 1: Oh, i mean already the UV is rockin. No, I've

742
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: already even started with like these like little boyfriends and stuff,

743
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,480
Speaker 1: and like, hey, recognize, like you're better than this, You're

744
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 1: worth better than this, because that's one of my biggest

745
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 1: fears because once they're out of the house, I mean,

746
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 1: there's only so much you can do, even when they're young. Really,

747
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 1: I mean it's not you know, forbidding things doesn't really

748
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 1: get you anywhere. So it's oh, it's a struggle, like

749
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 1: please know you're worth now, so you'll know it when

750
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 1: you're older.

751
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, speak so much of it, Yeah, that they know.

752
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 1: I think the therapist though, is such a good point

753
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 1: because you know, you don't really truly always listen to

754
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 1: the people closest to you. And if it's your parent

755
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 1: who you know you have to say this, or young

756
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 1: you know, whatever. But just speaking that love into them.

757
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: But getting someone outside, I think would be is super important.

758
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 2: It's going to be super church camp. But don't underestimate

759
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 2: the power prayer in this too. Now that's grand parents, man,

760
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:19,720
Speaker 2: I mean it's a huge changes lives, sending love your ways.

761
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 2: That is not easy as us all mamas know, watching

762
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,280
Speaker 2: our kids can't imagine. All right, bye guys, Bye,