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Speaker 1: I want another baby dead as that was to the point, well,

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Speaker 1: damn dead as well. I want fifty million dollars, But

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Speaker 1: who's gonna give me that? How got you? M got you?

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Speaker 1: Show improves. Hey, I'm Cadine and we're the ellis Is.

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Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our

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Speaker 1: voice and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,

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Speaker 1: I'll make you need therapy most days. Wow. And one

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Speaker 1: more important thing to mention, we're married. We are. We

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Speaker 1: created this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's

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Speaker 1: most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk

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Speaker 1: about through the lens of a millennium married couple. Dead

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Speaker 1: as is the term that we say every day. So

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Speaker 1: when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth,

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Speaker 1: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We bought

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Speaker 1: to take pillow talk to a whole new level. Dead

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Speaker 1: ass starts right now. Have a baby by me, baby

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Speaker 1: be a millionaire, have a baby by me, baby being

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Speaker 1: mill and there being million. Don't play no games when

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Speaker 1: I'm in that thing. Come see what I mean? You

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Speaker 1: see what I means? Let her mama turn me on?

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Speaker 1: Have you go? I mean I don't know what the

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Speaker 1: words don't someone to mean I ain't. That wasn't even English.

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Speaker 1: Just now, someone mean me? Don't another baby? Shout out

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Speaker 1: to Neo peoples and Crystal. They have another baby? What's

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Speaker 1: uprist have another baby? What's up? Yeah? And they also

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Speaker 1: have millions of dollars I'm working on. We can work

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Speaker 1: on it collectively. Let me work on that, and then

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Speaker 1: I work on the millions of dollars right right. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know. I don't know. There's a

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Speaker 1: lot that goes into thinking about have another baby. I

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Speaker 1: feel like we're ready spread very very thin. So the

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Speaker 1: fact that we're even having the same with this topic

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Speaker 1: put you up to this topic. I had nothing to

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Speaker 1: do it because I literally just got this run of

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Speaker 1: the show to my email about two point five seconds ago,

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Speaker 1: and I feel set up. All right, So okay, I'll

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Speaker 1: tell you how this walking about. All right, This will

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Speaker 1: take me the storytime. Storytime, ladies, gentlemen, storytime. As you

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Speaker 1: guys know, we just put us a new home, right

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Speaker 1: and upstairs, on the second floor there are four bedrooms.

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Speaker 1: And as I take people on the tour, I go,

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Speaker 1: you know, here we go. This is Cat's bedroom, his

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Speaker 1: Cairo's bedroom, here's the stairs, Here's Jackson's bedroom, and off

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Speaker 1: in the corner there's a bridge to a fourth bedroom

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Speaker 1: and its shaped like a dog. It's shaped like the dollhouse.

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Speaker 1: The trembling because I don't understand walking there, and I

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Speaker 1: could feel my daughter's presence. Okay, I feel the presence, guys,

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Speaker 1: I feel it. Have a little pink room with a doorhouse,

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Speaker 1: a little cave running the well. Talking about coaching, Daddy

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Speaker 1: Conchin happened. When I say kitchen, you don't find it funny.

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Speaker 1: It's not cute when I say kaching. You know my

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Speaker 1: nickname is Chinny, right, I was giving everybody the nickname

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Speaker 1: is Chingy. Yeah. Shout out to Brian Jordan Jr. Because

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Speaker 1: Maurice have an alert on my phone every time the

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Speaker 1: American expresses hit and it goes coaching on my phone

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Speaker 1: and she'd be sitting right next to me and my

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Speaker 1: phone will go off him to be like kachin and

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Speaker 1: I'd be like, what did you buy and like, huh

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Speaker 1: days ago, that's just hitting the account whatever. Seriously. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's the best part about it is that since we've

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Speaker 1: moved in and we've had, you know, family and stuff

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Speaker 1: come to visit my father in law. Even the other

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Speaker 1: day when he was here visiting, School was helping Devout

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Speaker 1: mount some TVs and whatnot, and School was just like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: did you did you check out the baby's room? Because

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Speaker 1: I mounted that TV too, and I was like, the

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Speaker 1: baby's room. So instantly I'm thinking that he's talking about

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Speaker 1: like devour sister or something, because, as far as I'm concerned,

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Speaker 1: manifestation in here, manifestation shout out, my sister Tori is

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Speaker 1: having a baby and she's having a girl. Yes, manifestation

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Speaker 1: at the time about here this, she'll be here already. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I think that's amazing. Is gonna have a whole room,

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Speaker 1: a whole cousin to play with, a whole little baby cousin.

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Speaker 1: So let's all right, so let's get let's get into

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Speaker 1: the top of yea happen bringing this to People's court, right,

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Speaker 1: because I already know how majority of people feel about

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Speaker 1: people's court. We're gonna state our case, right, We're gonna

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Speaker 1: state our case as to whether or not codeine or

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Speaker 1: not I should have another baby. Now for the record, okay,

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Speaker 1: I that I can't guarantee you a girl. But I'm

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Speaker 1: about but I'm about nine short, though I'm about as

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Speaker 1: far as I know. There's a chance. So where did

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Speaker 1: you get from. I've been talking to my boys. Don't here.

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Speaker 1: I've been talking to me and said, yo'all need to chill.

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Speaker 1: Let the ladies go first. So the ladies will go first,

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Speaker 1: and do you have a better chance? But I will

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Speaker 1: say this, if I were to get another boy, I'd

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Speaker 1: be hyped because then I would just have four boys

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Speaker 1: and it would just be ad. So it's safe to

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Speaker 1: say that you're your thing here? Is that you want

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Speaker 1: a fourth child? I want the baby. Yes, I want

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Speaker 1: a fourth child, because everybody got a partner on the

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Speaker 1: roller coaster. I said this before. With five of us,

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Speaker 1: do we even get a roller coast for that to

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Speaker 1: be a determining factor because we don't have four kids.

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Speaker 1: That's why we don't go because one kid will be

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Speaker 1: left out, so we don't go. But if we have four,

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Speaker 1: it would be me and you and then Jackson Chicago,

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Speaker 1: and then Cash and the baby. So then then we're

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Speaker 1: gonna roller coaster all the time. If you want to

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Speaker 1: be a roller coaster for mad long my kid? Yes,

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Speaker 1: they were so Yeah, I'm on the fence, devout he

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Speaker 1: wants a girl particularly or another baby, we should say,

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Speaker 1: I think you've always said you wanted four kids. I

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Speaker 1: was kind of always wanted three, you know, I'm one

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Speaker 1: of three year one of three. Three just kind of

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Speaker 1: felt like a very round number for us as much

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Speaker 1: as it's but yeah, four corners right. So that being said, UM,

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Speaker 1: you know we're gonna talk about the things we love

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Speaker 1: about parenting. You know what we have noticed about our kids? Um,

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Speaker 1: what are like deval and I what characteristics are like us?

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Speaker 1: Which aren't you know, because some some things that our

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Speaker 1: kids do on't my devot that is so ut is

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Speaker 1: So tell me why you are so against? Well, you're

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Speaker 1: not against. You want the fence, why you want literally

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Speaker 1: like a toe on defense. I'm really on the nose side,

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Speaker 1: but I have like my my leg is like properly

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Speaker 1: explain to me why. For me, it's it's it's more

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Speaker 1: than just um, you know, having another person to provide

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Speaker 1: for and all that good stuff. I got that there's

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Speaker 1: also to this this time that I feel like I

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Speaker 1: will have to sit out that I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I want you to have to sit out again out

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Speaker 1: of like work opportunities, thinking about everything that my body

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Speaker 1: goes through. You know, you you you conceive, you're pregnant

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Speaker 1: for nine to ten months, and then you deliver this baby,

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Speaker 1: but your body is still out of commission after that

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Speaker 1: postpartum my fourth trimester for about a year. So I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be out for the count for like two years. No,

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Speaker 1: you won't, that's fair. Give you a perfect example, right,

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Speaker 1: we have an award winning podcast right that we're do.

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Speaker 1: Thank that we're doing from home, so you won't have

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Speaker 1: to be out of work because we can do it

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Speaker 1: all the way through your pregnancy and you will be

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Speaker 1: in the comfort of your home. Plus, right, I've been

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Speaker 1: busting my ass. Right, we got a gym in here,

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Speaker 1: which means you can be in shape through your whole

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Speaker 1: pregnancy and working and you don't got to miss a beat.

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Speaker 1: So see, I'm covering all the on camera opportunity voice.

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Speaker 1: What if someone calls me for a role and they

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Speaker 1: got pregnant roles, They got rolls. Doesn't call for somebody

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Speaker 1: to be pregnant. They're gonna write that ship in because

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Speaker 1: you just fly like that baby. Make sure make sure

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Speaker 1: you have people you can call to write me in

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Speaker 1: the record showing you know, I love the record to

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Speaker 1: show see. I don't see she putting herself in a box.

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Speaker 1: You can't put yourself in the bottom. Man. It's the

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Speaker 1: intern and one thing you will never understand. No, you

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Speaker 1: watch me go through it, and you can empathize in

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Speaker 1: a sense, but you'll never understand what it's like to

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Speaker 1: actually fully carry an entire person, deliver that person, and

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Speaker 1: then be the source of nourishment for that person for

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Speaker 1: months to come. Like. It's a lot that goes into that.

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Speaker 1: That's fair, which is why this is even a conversation.

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Speaker 1: My here is just starting to grow back casts. I've

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Speaker 1: been bad for so long. I'm about to you was

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Speaker 1: never boy you have it was always good like you yourself.

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Speaker 1: You're hard on yourself. Listen, listen, I understand all of

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Speaker 1: those things right as a man. It would be insensitive

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Speaker 1: and tone death for me to sit here and make

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Speaker 1: it seem as if I make it seem like it's

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Speaker 1: easy to have a baby, right. I get that. I'm

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Speaker 1: not by any means trying to say that, but I

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Speaker 1: will say that I I feel, as your husband and

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Speaker 1: your life partner, that I've provided you an opportunity to

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Speaker 1: have children and continue to exist in the space of

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Speaker 1: work and chase your dreams. And that is a fact

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Speaker 1: I will say that is a that is a definite

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Speaker 1: pro is that I know that had if we were

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Speaker 1: to have another child, that that's something I would not

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Speaker 1: have to worry about. I can literally be able to

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Speaker 1: be in a space where I'm comfortable and and be

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Speaker 1: healthy and take the steps that I need to have

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Speaker 1: a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby and all that because

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Speaker 1: you will in turn take on the brent of responsibilities

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Speaker 1: around the house, finances, all that good stuff. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: what you're gonna do about my broken out skin though?

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Speaker 1: And the little thing? What you mean you're broken out skin?

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Speaker 1: Because of the territory. We will put in a budget.

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Speaker 1: We will put in budget for you to get facials

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Speaker 1: to make sure that your skin is taken care of.

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Speaker 1: Does that sound right to your sound? Fair? Everything? Because

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Speaker 1: I've been playing in I understand that my body goes

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Speaker 1: through nothing. When you have a baby, I'll be putting

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Speaker 1: in the work to get the baby in there, because

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Speaker 1: I'll be putting that work work. What Listen, a lot

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Speaker 1: of times you just kind of be like, Babe, I

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Speaker 1: just kind of want to say, and I'd be like, cool, whatever,

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Speaker 1: and I'd be like, it depends on what happens if

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Speaker 1: we had a couple of drinks before or not. But

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Speaker 1: that's that's I don't as long as you are back

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Speaker 1: challenge for me, you argeback challenge for me. It's cool.

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Speaker 1: Problem with that is argeback challenge gets boys. That's why

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Speaker 1: we have Yeah, you hear the whole wife sales about

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Speaker 1: what you can do to get certain things and certain

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Speaker 1: you know outcomes. Um, so I got some facts here.

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Speaker 1: Let me look at look at some facts making over here.

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Speaker 1: So I thought you said you wasn't prepared. I wasn't prepared,

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Speaker 1: but know trivile gave me some facts, so I'm gonna see.

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Speaker 1: According to economists Brian Kaplan, if you have a typical

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Speaker 1: level of American enjoyment of children, you're willing to actually

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Speaker 1: adjust your Parrington parenting to the evidence on what matters,

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Speaker 1: then the right number of children to have is for see.

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Speaker 1: This is why I said we should always bring facts

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Speaker 1: to podcasts. This is why. But it's easier said than done.

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Speaker 1: Having a baby is much different for women than it

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Speaker 1: is from men. And today we're going to make our

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Speaker 1: cases for why we do want or not want another baby,

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Speaker 1: but let's the record shows that the ideal number is four.

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Speaker 1: That's what the kid with this capitalist Brian Kaplan. Scott's

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Speaker 1: a smart guy. Brian Kaplan is a smart guy. I

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Speaker 1: think it's fair to say that, like four for me

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Speaker 1: is ideal, Like when you have two boys and two

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Speaker 1: girls who it's like, oh, everybody has like a brother

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Speaker 1: and a sister, isn't it like adorable? But that wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be the case because we're not gonna try to match

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Speaker 1: that if we were to even have another child. But

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Speaker 1: because the thing is you have another child, said as

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Speaker 1: a girl, it's gonna be like, well, she needs a sister.

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Speaker 1: Where does it stop being like listen, not just you

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Speaker 1: per se, but you know, people people joking. But we

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Speaker 1: could have twin girls. That wouldn't be dope. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if my skin could be elasticity and collagen, and

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Speaker 1: my skin at this age is not popping, is flawless.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not just saying that come trying to get

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Speaker 1: you pregnant. I'm saying that because it's the truth. Twin

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Speaker 1: girls would look good on you, baby, but also good

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Speaker 1: on you. But also I also think about quality of

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Speaker 1: life for our children right being able to spend time

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Speaker 1: with them once they are here. So let's not even

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Speaker 1: talking about pregnancy and all that, like we understand what

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Speaker 1: comes with the territory with that, but thinking about wanting

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Speaker 1: to spend individual time like that's something very important to

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Speaker 1: us that with each child, they get their individual time

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Speaker 1: with us. So adding one more person to the to

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Speaker 1: the mix is also going to be one more person's

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Speaker 1: feelings and thoughts and emotions and us navigating and style

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Speaker 1: stepping around how we how we can parent that child.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. We have a y role

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Speaker 1: who don't care nothing about us. I haven't seen Jackson

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Speaker 1: in five days. What do you mean? And we are

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Speaker 1: in the same house. Jackson don't care about us. He's

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Speaker 1: not worried about how much time he spent with us.

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Speaker 1: But I am concerned. What has one son already gone?

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Speaker 1: He's already gone, Jackson. We on't even got to count Jackson.

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Speaker 1: Jackson is like a grown I have. I have to

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Speaker 1: make a schedule appointment to be able to chill with Jackson,

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Speaker 1: because that's what I'm saying. He's very consumed with his

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Speaker 1: virtual learn. He takes us very seriously, and between that

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Speaker 1: and an extra wait till we get friends and a

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Speaker 1: girlfriend and sports. Let's not rush that stuff. I'm just saying,

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Speaker 1: I get it. However, it's important to me to make

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Speaker 1: sure that we are able to spend an invest time

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Speaker 1: in our children, you know what's somewhat evenly, and they

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Speaker 1: get that alone time, you know what I mean. So

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Speaker 1: I never want something like that to sacrifice. I have

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Speaker 1: to sacrifice that with one more child added to the mix. No, alright, conception,

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Speaker 1: there's there's different methods, the whole method here, right, So, conception,

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Speaker 1: what are you willing to sacrifice? Are you willing to

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Speaker 1: sacrifice to your sex life? The sex of the baby

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Speaker 1: is determined by which chromosomes are carried by the conceiving

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Speaker 1: sperm cell. But according to urban myths, there are certain

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Speaker 1: steps you can take to conceive a baby girl. I

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Speaker 1: got a story to tell, A quick story to tell.

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Speaker 1: There was a point when Cadine was trying to conceive

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Speaker 1: a girl, and she tried to happy doing all of

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Speaker 1: this wild ship right. For example, we could only have

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Speaker 1: sex on certain days, we could only have it in

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Speaker 1: certain positions. Um, and there were certain times where it

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Speaker 1: would be like certain times in the night where Codeine

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Speaker 1: would be looking through her what was the name of

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Speaker 1: the book you calculated there was a calculator thing, and

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Speaker 1: she'd be like she would be like late at night,

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Speaker 1: two am, and she's like, oh, babe, according to the calculator,

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Speaker 1: we're supposed to have sex like today, you know, like

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Speaker 1: right now. And I'd be like tired, and I'd like,

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Speaker 1: you want to have sex right now? And she's just like,

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Speaker 1: according to the calculator, is supposed to happen right now.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, I bet. And then she'll be like

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Speaker 1: and she's just like later and she like what you're

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Speaker 1: doing when she said but it got to be missionary

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Speaker 1: if we do it any other way, that if you're

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Speaker 1: gonna have a boy. So I'm just like, are you

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Speaker 1: kidding me? Like she's just like, I'm serious. So we

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Speaker 1: tried that, and you know what happened. We had Cairo.

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Speaker 1: That's a fact. So all of these urban myths and

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Speaker 1: legends to me don't matter, don't matter. So what I

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Speaker 1: say is God is going to provide us with what

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Speaker 1: we need. That's a fact I'm saying. So if we

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Speaker 1: have ultimately, I think it's fun to talk about all

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Speaker 1: this stuff, like the different ways, Like they say, for example,

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Speaker 1: boys sperm spins faster, so the survival period for them

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Speaker 1: is shorter, whereas the women or the female sperm lives

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Speaker 1: longer and they will be able to you know, last.

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Speaker 1: So they say, if you have sex a little before

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Speaker 1: your ovulation, than the chances are you have a girl.

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Speaker 1: That's what. That's what, that's what you were trying to

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Speaker 1: We're trying to do that loosely, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: And then of course there are other high tech options

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Speaker 1: for sex selection. There's IVF, and then there's also a

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Speaker 1: sperm selection UM. Both of these methods you would have

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Speaker 1: to go into a doctor or lab or something to

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Speaker 1: do UM. And we we considered UM, IVF and sperm selection.

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Speaker 1: Kandin and I actually went through. We went to a

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Speaker 1: fertility specialist and we were like, let's kind of see

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Speaker 1: what it's like. I don't I don't understand why people

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Speaker 1: get judged for trying to do different things. UM Codeina

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Speaker 1: and I actually went to. UH wasn't an i V specially,

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Speaker 1: so it was a fertility special specialist. So we went

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Speaker 1: to a fertility specialist and we found out our options.

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Speaker 1: We asked about sperm sorting first, and they told a

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Speaker 1: sperm sworting is about a sixty We're like, right now

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Speaker 1: we have fifty fifty. Am I going to pay for

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Speaker 1: sixty forty? We kind of felt like, what's what's a

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Speaker 1: more definite way? So we were asking about IVF and

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Speaker 1: we we got all the details about IVF and the

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Speaker 1: only thing that kind of um made me I decide that,

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Speaker 1: you know, I didn't think this was the best thing

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Speaker 1: for us because her body would have to go through

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Speaker 1: most of the changes taking the hormone shots, and because

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Speaker 1: we already have three children, I felt like I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to force her to have to do anything more

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Speaker 1: to her body and then carry a child. Now, had

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Speaker 1: we not been able to have children, and this is

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Speaker 1: something that we wanted, I would definitely would have been

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Speaker 1: with IVF. You know, especially with IVF, you get the

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Speaker 1: eggs and then you can find out pre insimilating them

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Speaker 1: into your spouse if it's a boy or a girl

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Speaker 1: pre explanation. But what they did tell us was that

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Speaker 1: there is a chance that you could do the I

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Speaker 1: v F treatment, get the eggs, get it all together,

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Speaker 1: and it'd be all boys, right or all girls or girls.

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Speaker 1: So I was kind of like, yeah, and I was

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Speaker 1: having still stuck up to God. Whether God wants to

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Speaker 1: give us boys a girl's the whole fact. And I

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Speaker 1: just kind of feel like, um, you know that I'm

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Speaker 1: not against science or anything like, there's a big debate

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Speaker 1: to between the science of things and what God, the universe,

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Speaker 1: or whoever it is you believe in providing for you

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Speaker 1: or giving to you or blessing you with. And UM,

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Speaker 1: I battled with that too because I was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna try to, you know, paint out this

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Speaker 1: picture that is not supposed to be. You know, I

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Speaker 1: batted in a way. UM, So I battled with that.

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Speaker 1: That's something that kind of crossed my mind. And then

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Speaker 1: I also thought about people who are unable to conceive

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Speaker 1: naturally and this is like their only option, and I

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Speaker 1: kind of feel like, you know, maybe something like this

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Speaker 1: should be reserved for people who this is their only option,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Well, what we talked about

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Speaker 1: surrogacy to right, and surrogacy is also an option that

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Speaker 1: some people have as well. To um, and I was

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Speaker 1: kind of like, again that maybe something that's reserved for

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Speaker 1: Remember the same sex couple who are unable to have

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Speaker 1: and they need a surrogate to carry their baby or um.

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Speaker 1: You know, there's so many different reasons as to why

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Speaker 1: a woman may or or not. But my body being

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Speaker 1: fully able to have carried three children, I kind of

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Speaker 1: felt like, you know what, I've been able to do

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Speaker 1: that naturally, So if I were to do a fourth pregnancy,

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Speaker 1: I would do it naturally and then be happy with

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Speaker 1: whatever the Good Lord blesses me with. I remember you saying,

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Speaker 1: and we were thinking about doing the surrogate, and you said,

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Speaker 1: the one thing you didn't want to have to tell

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Speaker 1: you your daughter or son was that, you know, where's

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Speaker 1: my maternity pictures? Mom? Like you have maternity pictures with

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Speaker 1: Jackson Kyro with And then you're like, well, I wasn't

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Speaker 1: strictly for the vanity of it all, like well, I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to throw abou getting my body back, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean? And understandable, and some of people

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Speaker 1: have careers that they're just like, you know what, I

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Speaker 1: can't sit out for you know, nine months to a

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Speaker 1: year and there's no judgment there, that's just what's something

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Speaker 1: that you know what I mean, you feel like you

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Speaker 1: just don't want to do or you don't want to sacrifice,

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Speaker 1: and that's that's And for me it was like, it's

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Speaker 1: your body has to go through it for nine months

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Speaker 1: and then a whole year after with you know, nursing

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Speaker 1: the baby and then trying to get back. So me

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Speaker 1: as a as a man and as your your life partner,

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Speaker 1: I felt like it's not my responsibility to tell you

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Speaker 1: what's the best way to conceive. So I kind of

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Speaker 1: wanted to find out from you, like, what did you

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Speaker 1: think would be the worst? Because I was with anything.

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Speaker 1: I was with the sperm sorting, I was with IVF,

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Speaker 1: I was with um doing the I v F and

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Speaker 1: picking a sex of the baby. I was with doing

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Speaker 1: a if that's what if? That was with what you

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Speaker 1: was with But you felt like you wanted to have

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Speaker 1: that connection, So I was like, you know what, she

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Speaker 1: wants to have the connection, then we have to do

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Speaker 1: it this way. But then you're on the fence now

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Speaker 1: about it. So my question to you is how much

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00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:13,239
Speaker 1: of this is really a partnership and a agreement or

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Speaker 1: is it really just if you want to have another

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Speaker 1: baby is yes or if there's no is nor how

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00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 1: much how much it's a difficult that's a difficult situation

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00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 1: to being or a difficult question to answer, rather because

399
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,080
Speaker 1: it's like, naturally, I would like to consider your feelings.

400
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,480
Speaker 1: I want to consider how you feel what you want

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00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,760
Speaker 1: out of life as well too, and especially if we're

402
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Speaker 1: going to be having children together, Like this is something

403
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,960
Speaker 1: that we're doing together. You if you wanted to, could

404
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 1: essentially go and have another child with anybody else. You

405
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,640
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. But I don't want to die, right,

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Speaker 1: You don't want to die, You're not crazy. You don't

407
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 1: want to hurt anybody else to get injured. So that

408
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,880
Speaker 1: being said, you know, the wise thing to do would

409
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 1: be for us to come to some sort of agreement.

410
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Speaker 1: So um, but yeah, I do feel like I also

411
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Speaker 1: to have to can take into consideration, um, how you feel.

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Speaker 1: I think what makes it easier for me to even

413
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Speaker 1: be on the fence at this point is the fact

414
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:10,720
Speaker 1: that you fully understand the process from consumption to postpartum.

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00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 1: You are an amazing father. You are super active. He

416
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 1: actually really is in real life, Dad gosse to. But

417
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Speaker 1: it's like the good thing, well it's in blue, but

418
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 1: the good thing is that there's no longer any colors,

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Speaker 1: there's no gender norms and ships like that. No, No,

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Speaker 1: I mean, shoot, blue could be for girl too, but historically, historically,

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Speaker 1: um so, yeah, that that makes it easier for me

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Speaker 1: to be like, Okay, well, if I were to have

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Speaker 1: a fourth child, I know that I wouldn't be in

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Speaker 1: this alone. That I would have all of the resources

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Speaker 1: and the support that I needed, um and not just

426
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,159
Speaker 1: from you, but like my mom who's here with our

427
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 1: three boys, who's being driven crazy daily with our three boys.

428
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 1: Our families are super involved and everything, um like that.

429
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 1: So that makes it in turn easier for me to

430
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 1: even be on the fence at this point. Um. So,

431
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 1: I do try to take into consideration how you feel,

432
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 1: and I think it does have to be a collective decision.

433
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,520
Speaker 1: So you think it has to be a collective decision.

434
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,680
Speaker 1: At any point, did you feel like I was being

435
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 1: selfish for wanting another child when you said you have

436
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 1: done that three Um No, I never felt like it

437
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 1: was selfish. At first. I thought you were joking, to

438
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,359
Speaker 1: be quite honest. So the fact that we're even having

439
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 1: this conversation in this podcast, I'm just like, wait a second,

440
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 1: you are actually really serious. But also I was thinking

441
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,680
Speaker 1: about too, like like women after the age of thirty five,

442
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:42,640
Speaker 1: you know, become high risk. There's consultations. I mean, according

443
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 1: to some paper they say that, but I feel very

444
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:49,320
Speaker 1: twenty one, I feel very but according to this little

445
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:54,199
Speaker 1: old paper. I mean, I'm I'm not sure what my

446
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,680
Speaker 1: insights look like. Although I do try to take good care,

447
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 1: so that's something that I also take into accounts to.

448
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,879
Speaker 1: I'm like, man, finished like having cats cat. I was

449
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 1: literally had cats a week before I turned thirty four,

450
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:06,120
Speaker 1: So I'm like, man, I was done all my kids

451
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 1: at thirty three. Now I can focus on get my

452
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 1: self back in order and whatnot. And it's kind of like,

453
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,159
Speaker 1: I don't know what the recovery is going to be like,

454
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 1: you know, after it'll be good, so good, I don't know.

455
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 1: It's rough. It's a lot of things to take into consideration,

456
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:22,080
Speaker 1: to be quite honest. Um, you know there are many phases.

457
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 1: There's a newborn phase, you know, where the sleep deprivation

458
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,439
Speaker 1: is real, and I can't help you with that. You

459
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 1: you breastfeed, I can't. I don't got no breasts. Um.

460
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 1: I have a pretty big chest from doing all these

461
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:36,160
Speaker 1: push ups, but there's no comfortable there's no milk coming

462
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,160
Speaker 1: from them. So I can't. I'm not even gonna try

463
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 1: to state my case for the newborn phase. That's gonna

464
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 1: be your realm. You and typically your mom and your

465
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 1: grandmother come up here and stay with us. So the

466
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,679
Speaker 1: good thing is we have space now so everyone can

467
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 1: feel comfortable and you can have help that lives here

468
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,680
Speaker 1: with us. So you know, you're probably gonna lose more sleeps.

469
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 1: I'll give you that. The newborn phase is definitely gonna

470
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:59,199
Speaker 1: be something that's going to be probably, I think a

471
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 1: positive pro think about caring for four children, um, with

472
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: three boys who are now pretty much independent in us

473
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 1: that they may be able to help themselves a bit.

474
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,439
Speaker 1: Jackson being like super big brother also helping with the

475
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 1: two little ones supermature, Um, so I think it would

476
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 1: be easier in general. You know, I'm trying to think

477
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,199
Speaker 1: of a a countdown count up to the age when Jackson

478
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 1: will be able to babysit, you know a little bit.

479
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,120
Speaker 1: I think we can kind of loosely have him watch

480
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,199
Speaker 1: his brothers while we're in the house together. We're not

481
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,400
Speaker 1: leaving them alone, but absolutely, you know, um absolutely, so

482
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 1: you know, by five years old, I think actually now

483
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,920
Speaker 1: Kas can dress himself like Kyro can dress himself. No,

484
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:45,119
Speaker 1: no, no no, I closed, We are in closes. I'm just

485
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 1: trying to be fair to the discussion and giving pros

486
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 1: and con don't get excited, don't all right, all right,

487
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to be fair to the argument or

488
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 1: the discussion rather. And then by nine, you know, he's

489
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 1: doing good. Yeah, it's funny that kid should be able

490
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 1: to take care of their personal hygiene without assistance, without

491
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 1: a sistance. But I'm gonna have to remind that. It

492
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 1: reminds him every single day. He came down this morning,

493
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 1: for example, we're here recording this podcast, you know, in

494
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 1: the home, and we have our our producer Triple here,

495
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 1: we have Josh here, we have Dave U A K

496
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 1: A dimple God. And I mean, at this point, Jackson

497
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,159
Speaker 1: comes downstairs and he's having a full blown conversation with Triple,

498
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 1: and I'm looking over him and I'm like, this, brow

499
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 1: did not wash Brush's teeth this morning. I can guarantee it,

500
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 1: so I'll call him over. I was like, Jackson, do

501
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 1: you think that it is wise for you to wake

502
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: up this morning, come downstairs, be all in Triple's face

503
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 1: without your teeth? He hits me, with the no. The

504
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,919
Speaker 1: back end of the no, I was like, go upstairs

505
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 1: and brush your teeth. He's nine, and he's like, am

506
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:54,680
Speaker 1: I in trouble? And I was like, Trible was in trouble?

507
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 1: O hear you know what I'm saying. Got to remind

508
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:02,199
Speaker 1: these boys, Okay, he's my brothers broken as record up

509
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 1: in here. They're probably thinking, I'm like the most naggiest

510
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 1: person ever in life, But at this rate, I'm just like, man,

511
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 1: I mean, sometimes you be nagging, but let's stay with focus.

512
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 1: But let's stay with focus. You're you're talking about we're

513
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 1: talking about babies here. Jackson is nine, you guys, only

514
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:17,919
Speaker 1: set of issues at nine. I'm talking about the babies,

515
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:21,119
Speaker 1: all right. Next one says, what about our relationship? Is

516
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 1: your marriage able to withstand the changes that come with

517
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 1: having a new baby in the home? Talk so if

518
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 1: you don't get what you want in the timely fashion,

519
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,239
Speaker 1: you don't want to hear no excuses? Why we talk

520
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,720
Speaker 1: about and then we just do a whole podcast about

521
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:38,479
Speaker 1: the next ten and you just theorize all these Can

522
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 1: I finish reading? Can I finish reading the thing? Our

523
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:45,479
Speaker 1: relationships were? So? I can't finish reading my thing. Our

524
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 1: relationships with not to motorist when you were pregnant with Cairo,

525
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:50,760
Speaker 1: So how did you get pregning with casts? So fast,

526
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 1: stop it, stop it. There's just some things that have

527
00:26:54,600 --> 00:27:01,199
Speaker 1: to get done. However, look sociologist. Sociologists so gos. Sociologists

528
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 1: theorized that we're about to lie. He was about to lie, y'all.

529
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:07,440
Speaker 1: You see, he can't even talk. Strangs and sociologists theorized

530
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 1: that in heterosexual relationship, mothers are more unhappy with their

531
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 1: marriages after they have children because they tend to take

532
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 1: on more second shift work, childcare and housework and begin

533
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 1: to feel that their relationships are no longer fair. I

534
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:24,159
Speaker 1: can honestly say that is not true. That's not true,

535
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 1: isn't So that's why we don't got to worry about that.

536
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 1: So I feel confidence saying that, according to research, couples

537
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 1: have sex less often after they have a baby. Now,

538
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 1: those first six weeks, we couldn't have sex at all.

539
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:41,880
Speaker 1: But even after the six weeks after that, you were tired, unsexy,

540
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,640
Speaker 1: and in your mind you was unsexy, and my mind

541
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 1: you was not unsexy. There was nothing sexy about milky boobs,

542
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 1: and you know that's that's debatable, all right. You were

543
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 1: swollen everywhere all the right spots, So you can say

544
00:27:54,960 --> 00:28:01,479
Speaker 1: you wanted sexy, but I will, uh, I will respectfully,

545
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 1: respectfully disagree with you because I felt like you were

546
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:07,640
Speaker 1: sexy after having children. That's why you got pregnant again

547
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:11,399
Speaker 1: with kas fifteen months later. But my thing is what

548
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:16,399
Speaker 1: these sociologists are saying are true for most people. In

549
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 1: our case, that is not the case. I'm a very,

550
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,400
Speaker 1: very involved father, and you don't get left with all

551
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 1: of the responsibilities. I also moved your mom in, and

552
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 1: I will move your grandmother in so you don't have

553
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 1: to worry about not having help. So for me, all

554
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,440
Speaker 1: of the arguments that women have for saying they don't

555
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 1: want to have another child because they get left with

556
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: everything and the man gets to go out in rome

557
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,359
Speaker 1: and do and live his life, it's not the case

558
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 1: with us. So for me, I'm like that goes you

559
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, And the Bible says be fruitful

560
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 1: and multiplied. It is my guy given duty to multiply.

561
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 1: I got a multiply like God's only run around here.

562
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 1: He was just here to second, but only got three,

563
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 1: only three, four and if a girl, if I could

564
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 1: get a girl out of that that fourth one son,

565
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 1: it's a rap, like, man, I'm not gonna ask you

566
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 1: for nothing else ever in life. We don't even gotta

567
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 1: have sex. No more, give me a girl. We don't

568
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: gotta have sex. Trying to say that if we have

569
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 1: this fourth child and it's a girl or a boy,

570
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 1: or is it just has to be a girl that

571
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 1: I have asked you. Wow, just I don't know if

572
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 1: I can hold up to that end of the park.

573
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 1: And though I mean, I'm just lying because I'm gonna

574
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 1: want to have sex, but it sounded good when I

575
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 1: was thinking it until I said it. Then when I

576
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 1: heard myself, I was like this, no way, but I

577
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 1: just want four. I want four, and I knew I'll

578
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 1: be talking about wanting a girl so bad. And I

579
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 1: have to just say this publicly too, because if I

580
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 1: do have another son, I don't want people to be like, oh,

581
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 1: he had another kid. He's not happy with the fact

582
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 1: that he has a son. If I have four boys,

583
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 1: I would pound my chest around here and feel like

584
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 1: the king bro I got four sons. I feel like

585
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 1: I'm playing with house money and I can't lose because

586
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 1: if I have a daughter, I get get my princess,

587
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 1: I get my little minicaated I can spoil, we get

588
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 1: the dollhouse. And if I have a boy, I got

589
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 1: four sons. I got four soldiers. You know what I'm saying, right, Yeah,

590
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 1: I mean I agree if I had a mini me,

591
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 1: so that would be great. Um, if I had four boys,

592
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 1: that I mean, can you see me with like four

593
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 1: like beautiful men, like eventually walking on protecting you every corner.

594
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 1: And three look even, that's like a trifecta. You see

595
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. What I'm saying, you can have three

596
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,920
Speaker 1: in the media and then you can hold my daughter

597
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,239
Speaker 1: right there and then I'll be protected. Like don't that

598
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 1: sound I sound like the winds glowing in my favor?

599
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 1: We can talk about it, all right. So, okay, you

600
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 1: said you want a fence before, so it was are

601
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 1: you closer this way? I'm straddling the fence because you've

602
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 1: made some valid points. You've made valid points like the

603
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 1: fact that you're an involved dad and you are super

604
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 1: supportive and all that good stuff. That's that's great. Um,

605
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 1: that's probably of the strongest argument that you've made because

606
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 1: at least I won't feel like, what that's the strongest one. Yeah,

607
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 1: that's the strongest one that you made. Then what about

608
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 1: the fact that you also would like to have a daughter,

609
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 1: you would like to have a bond. That's a that's

610
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 1: a very strong point. It would be nice. But I

611
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 1: don't feel a deficit like I've had conversations with women

612
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 1: who have all girls are all boys, and that's just

613
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 1: the natural conversation, like you know, and I'm not. I

614
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 1: don't take offense to it when people are just like, well,

615
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 1: when's the girl come, when's the girl come? I don't

616
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: take offense because at this point, and you said, people

617
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 1: eight'clock in you uterus and be asking what's next when

618
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 1: it comes to the reproductive system. So I'm okay with

619
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: I don't take offense to it. But I think it's

620
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 1: a natural question that people ask. If you have all

621
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 1: of one thing, don't you wonder what it's like to

622
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 1: have the other? And I had um a conversation on

623
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: I Forget. I think it was on Angels podcasts Um

624
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: that chick Angel on Instagram. I think it was on

625
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 1: her podcast Angel. Yeah, what's up? Angel? Girl? Angel? Yes,

626
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 1: she has four boys now, she had one son then

627
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,120
Speaker 1: twin boys, and then she just has her last She

628
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 1: has four total now, she said she's done. So the

629
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 1: question he came up that if you know, do you

630
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 1: feel like a deficit, like you're missing something by not

631
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 1: having a girl, And she said for her, like even

632
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 1: with her last son, there was like a morning that

633
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: happened when she found out she wasn't having a girl

634
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 1: because she's kind of like had this letter written to

635
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: her daughter that she just like, so that's something that

636
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:21,800
Speaker 1: she's always wanted. So she did kind of feel like, man,

637
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 1: but now that she has her four boys, she's just like,

638
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 1: you know, I'm good, Like I have a house full

639
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 1: of beautiful men, and I get that feeling. I, on

640
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 1: the other hand, never felt a deficit not having a daughter.

641
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 1: I really haven't. If you can't see me, my places

642
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:40,720
Speaker 1: like this, Me and the boys been around here, slamming

643
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: each other into the couch, running far in, looking at

644
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 1: the video games in basketball, and you just be like,

645
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 1: that's what boys do, right, And I go to the

646
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: room and I chilled by myself and I'm good when

647
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 1: taking a nap or watching the show. You don't want to.

648
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 1: You don't want to, you know, have a little daughter,

649
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 1: you can dress it would be nice. But I don't

650
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 1: feel like I honestly don't feel like I have some

651
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: sort of deficit missing in my life. It may be

652
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 1: different if I eventually have a daughter and then I'm like,

653
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:06,360
Speaker 1: oh my god, I can't imagine what my life would

654
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 1: be like without you. So what about the what about

655
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 1: the little I G pictures? You'd be sending me a

656
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 1: little cute girls dressed up like their mom because they're

657
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: super cute. She says, she don't have a deficit, but

658
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 1: she sends these things to me. She sends them to

659
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 1: me like beautiful, like rings and like vacations and stuff.

660
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 1: That doesn't necessarily mean that I have to have it

661
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 1: right now. Somehow, you were sending me rings when you

662
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 1: wanted to upgrade, and you got to upgrade. You were

663
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 1: sending me houses when you want the house. You got

664
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 1: a house, right, we were house shopping. What you mean?

665
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 1: So you're sending me little girls telling me subliminals that

666
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 1: you want a daughter. I'm winning this argument, by the way, guys,

667
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 1: and I got I gave you those two. That's I'm

668
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 1: a provider. I provide you with the things. Have a

669
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 1: baby by me, baby be a millionaire. I'm winning an argument. God,

670
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 1: So that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna take a

671
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 1: quick break, right, We're gonna answer some listen to letters.

672
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 1: When we come back after listening letters, it's gonna do

673
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 1: our moment of truth. You're gonna tell me whether or

674
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,240
Speaker 1: not we're gonna have a baby or not. No, I

675
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:01,720
Speaker 1: don't like that kind of pressure. I need to sleep on.

676
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 1: You know. I'm gonna sleep on that kind of person.

677
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 1: So sleep while we pay these bills on these ads,

678
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: and when we come back, we're gonna do these listening

679
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,360
Speaker 1: letters and they can't give me an answer. All right, guys,

680
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:30,319
Speaker 1: will be right back after these ads. Al Right, guys,

681
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 1: we're back with listening to letters. Let me scroll ups

682
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 1: most important part because she knows you. I don't need

683
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 1: to say that every every single I feel like you

684
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 1: know that already, but they do. Let's start with these

685
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 1: listening letters because you'll know. I know y'all want to

686
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 1: get to the moment. Is gonna say yes? And I'm

687
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 1: gonna go first. This is a proposal or something I'm

688
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,240
Speaker 1: in proposing to you about this baby. For a minute,

689
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 1: does it come with a ring? Like? Does it come

690
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 1: with a ring in the party. Everything you do comes

691
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,280
Speaker 1: with a ring in the party. You got an upgrade,

692
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,839
Speaker 1: but this you get Like, come on, son, when do

693
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 1: I get a ring in a party for anything? Do

694
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:07,879
Speaker 1: I ever get a ring in a party? I can

695
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:09,839
Speaker 1: throw you a party and I can get your rate too,

696
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 1: but I don't ever get one. Don't play with me

697
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 1: what you wanted for sure. I was gonna say something,

698
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 1: but it's too explicit. It's too explicit, all right. My

699
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,239
Speaker 1: boyfriend I had a pregnancy loss about four months ago.

700
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,360
Speaker 1: Although the pregnancy was unplanned, we went from being scared

701
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 1: too excited in no time. At twenty weeks, our baby

702
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:32,000
Speaker 1: girl was diagnosed with a genetic disease that had a

703
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 1: low life expectancy rate. After the loss, I wanted to

704
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:36,919
Speaker 1: try again. However, my boyfriend was adamant about not wanting

705
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 1: kids right now. He's been pressuring me into taking birth control,

706
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:42,239
Speaker 1: which I don't want it. I don't want to do

707
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:44,560
Speaker 1: because of how it makes me feel. I've suggested condoms,

708
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 1: but he doesn't like the idea of that. I just

709
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 1: found um, I just found out that in four weeks pregnant,

710
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 1: and he's pissed. He's been trying to talk me out

711
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,280
Speaker 1: of keeping the baby because he feels like we're not ready.

712
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,720
Speaker 1: After experiencing one loss, I'm not prepared to go do another.

713
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:00,040
Speaker 1: I told him that if he didn't want anything to

714
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 1: do with the baby, that he could go. I know,

715
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:05,399
Speaker 1: pushing him away isn't the answer, but he's being insensitive. Wow.

716
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 1: Every time we start talking about the baby, we fight.

717
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,839
Speaker 1: I'm going to regret termining the pregnancy, but I don't

718
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 1: want to lose him either. I'm stuck on what to

719
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 1: do as I don't want to be a single parent

720
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 1: or lose my boyfriend. Do you guys have any helpful

721
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 1: advice to me. Um, What I'm wondering is if suffering

722
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:26,400
Speaker 1: the first lost the first loss, not lost the first loss,

723
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 1: if he has not quite dealt with that, because there's

724
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 1: a there's a bit of it. Yeah, there's probably some.

725
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 1: There's definitely trauma around that, especially the morning period. Yeah,

726
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 1: there's a morning period that comes with um loss, and

727
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:44,760
Speaker 1: especially at twenty weeks and then you know it's a girl,

728
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 1: and you know what I mean, It brings that much

729
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 1: more life to UM the idea of having a baby.

730
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 1: So maybe he hasn't fully um mourned that or dealt

731
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 1: with that loss and in turn, why now he is scared,

732
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,359
Speaker 1: you know, and that that being scared or that being

733
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 1: worried or concerned can also manifest itself as anger, and

734
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 1: it may not necessarily be angry per se um, But

735
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 1: at the same time, it's about the way it's coming across,

736
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 1: which I see can make her feel um like she's

737
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 1: stuck between a rock and a hard place. So that's

738
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,800
Speaker 1: a tough place to be in. But I would probably

739
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 1: suggest having maybe more conversation about that loss and how

740
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 1: it made him feel. You know, I don't know if

741
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 1: that's something that was done yet, but that might help

742
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 1: him kind of get his feelings out about that so

743
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 1: that he can then move on to um possibly embracing

744
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 1: this next little blessing that came along. You know. Well

745
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 1: what I'm hearing about these two. First of all, they

746
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,360
Speaker 1: sound very young. First thing, she says she had another baby.

747
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,799
Speaker 1: If she had the baby, she lost the baby. They

748
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 1: were continuing to have sex. He didn't want to have

749
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 1: another baby, so he asked her to take birth control.

750
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 1: She said no, but he doesn't want to work condoms,

751
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 1: which means neither one of them wants to take the

752
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 1: proper steps to use contraceptive. You know. I do think

753
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:58,440
Speaker 1: it's kind of selfish for a guy to say, I

754
00:37:58,480 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 1: don't want to have a baby, but I'm not going

755
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:03,360
Speaker 1: to wear a condom, so you have to take birth control.

756
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,440
Speaker 1: It's something that affects your body. I think that that's very,

757
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 1: very selfish because she's anything like me. I know how

758
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 1: sensitive affects your body. So I think it was it

759
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,879
Speaker 1: was unfair for him to do that. If you are

760
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 1: adamant about not having a baby, you should wear a condom,

761
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 1: you know. But clearly she wasn't taking the birth control,

762
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 1: and I'm not sure if she told him she was

763
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 1: and it wasn't taken, and got pregnant again. But now

764
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 1: they're here, they're pregnant again. She does not want to

765
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:30,760
Speaker 1: have an abortion, but she does not want to lose him. Um.

766
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 1: I believe in a woman's right to choose, you know.

767
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 1: I'm I'm pro life. You know. If it were me,

768
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 1: you know, and my wife says she wanted to have

769
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: a baby, I'd be like, let's go do it, you

770
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 1: know I'm saying. But I feel like, as a man,

771
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:45,320
Speaker 1: I can't tell a woman what to do with her body.

772
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 1: So she no. I mean, I'm I'm personally myself myself,

773
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 1: but I'm not going to be pro life for a

774
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 1: for you, you know what I'm saying. Like for me,

775
00:38:56,320 --> 00:39:00,200
Speaker 1: if you and I were to have a baby, I

776
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 1: would go with when I have a baby, But if

777
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 1: we were young kids, I would be with I want

778
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:07,760
Speaker 1: to have the baby. But I cannot tell a woman

779
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 1: what to do, So i just want to make it

780
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,719
Speaker 1: clear that I'm not going to go out there and

781
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 1: be like, you need to have an abortion. But at

782
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 1: the same time, I'm not gonna you know, I would

783
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 1: step up to the plate if I absolutely like, that's

784
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 1: what I would do. Hopefully, this young man, if you

785
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,759
Speaker 1: are responsible enough to lay down with a woman and

786
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,080
Speaker 1: not want to wear a condom because you don't want

787
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:31,280
Speaker 1: to like the way it feels, step up to the plate.

788
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 1: But if he's not, it's up to her to decide

789
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 1: what she wants to do, because she will be the

790
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 1: one that is forced to live with this decision for

791
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 1: the rest of her life. So I'm pro choice in

792
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 1: the fact that I believe that, you know, women have

793
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 1: the right to choose what to do with their bodies.

794
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 1: But me, if it if it were me and I

795
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:50,759
Speaker 1: were him, I'm like, well, we have your pregnant, so

796
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:54,480
Speaker 1: let's go. And so I think it's important to decipher

797
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 1: the difference because I wouldn't want to take a woman's

798
00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 1: choice away, but U yeah, he might. And I wonder

799
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 1: if it's a thing where maybe he's trying to kind

800
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 1: of call her bluff with it. I don't know. I

801
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: don't like to try to figure out what he's thinking

802
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: or we don't know, but it's just there's no possibilities.

803
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:12,640
Speaker 1: But I'm just trying to think, like if he's just like,

804
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 1: you know, do this or else someone to leave. But

805
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 1: you say, she does decide that she wants to keep

806
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: this baby and move on, and she runs the risk

807
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:21,400
Speaker 1: of potentially losing him. Will he kind of come to

808
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 1: his senses later and say, okay, you know, praying that

809
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: she has a healthy baby, that he's just like, damn,

810
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,400
Speaker 1: I was overreacting or I felt this way because I

811
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 1: was worried, or you know what I mean. That may

812
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 1: be a conversation that needs to be had between the

813
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:36,759
Speaker 1: two of them. I would say for her not to

814
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,240
Speaker 1: make any decisions based around him or how he feels.

815
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 1: She has to make decisions about what is best for

816
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 1: her and how she feels, because when you make decisions

817
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 1: about people who can come and go into your life,

818
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:49,759
Speaker 1: you never want to make a life decision for someone

819
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 1: who is temporary. You see what I'm saying. The only

820
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 1: thing that's definitely permanent here is this child if she's

821
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 1: able to carry full term. So she needs to make

822
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 1: a decision for herself based on that. Make getting a

823
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 1: decision about someone who's a boyfriend who may or may

824
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 1: not be here. I wouldn't do that. So she needs

825
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 1: to think about what her morals are, where she feels,

826
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 1: because she's gonna have to live with this decision for

827
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 1: the rest of her life and do what's in the

828
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 1: best interests of herself. Yeah, that's true. The worst the

829
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 1: last thing you want to do is make that decision

830
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:19,400
Speaker 1: with someone else in mind, and then Harvard resentment or upset,

831
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:21,880
Speaker 1: and then now you resent, the baby wants, the baby comes,

832
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 1: and you're doing all these things because it's like I

833
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 1: made this choice, but then you try to place blame

834
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,439
Speaker 1: after um. So good luck to you, sis, I hope

835
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 1: you are able to figure things out and best of

836
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,879
Speaker 1: luck with your pregnancy. So look, I think we only

837
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 1: got time for one listener letter today because we do

838
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 1: have a long moment of truth, because I want to

839
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,080
Speaker 1: go through all all of these questions to kind of

840
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 1: figure out where we are. Okay, Okay, So what I'm

841
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 1: going to do, Like I said, I believe in a

842
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: woman's right to choose. I'm gonna ask you the questions

843
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 1: and you can give me your answers, and then we're

844
00:41:54,360 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 1: feeling we'll keep score. All right, So, conception, are you

845
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:06,000
Speaker 1: willing to sacrifice your sex life to have another child?

846
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 1: Me personally, I know our sex life is going to change. Um, Yes,

847
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:15,439
Speaker 1: I'm cool with that. I'm cool with that. I did

848
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 1: it three times before the camera roll. I did it

849
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: three times before because the way to do to set

850
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:23,920
Speaker 1: up sometimes, y'all. Okay, am I willing to sacrifice if

851
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:25,799
Speaker 1: if someone is asking me the question, You're asking me

852
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 1: the question plainly? Okay, Am I willing to sacrifice my

853
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:30,840
Speaker 1: sex life? Yes? I would be willing to sacrifice my

854
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: sex Okay. So that's one for the good guys. Okay. Pregnancy,

855
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:38,439
Speaker 1: labor and delivery. How do you weigh the risks when

856
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 1: when women over thirty five or at a higher risk

857
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 1: for the following complications? Uh, just gestational diabetes, high blood pressure,

858
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 1: premature birth, lower birth weight, birth defects including down syndrome, miscarriage,

859
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:54,000
Speaker 1: still birth. These are things women over thirty five can

860
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 1: do the lower risks. Maintain the healthy weight, pre native care,

861
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 1: stay on top of treatment for any pre existing health

862
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 1: conditions of smoking, drinking, and drug abuse. Avoid harmful chemicals.

863
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 1: So this is ship people should do anyway. Healthy, stay active.

864
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 1: So when it comes to pregnancy, labor, and delivery, the

865
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: risk are all on you because you're the carrier. You're

866
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 1: the vessel of life. So how do you feel about that?

867
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like I've been trying to maintain

868
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 1: a healthy lifestyle, um for just because you know, I

869
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 1: know I have a lot of pre existing conditions in

870
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 1: my family that historically tend to rears ugly have at

871
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 1: a certain age in life. So being mindful of that,

872
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:32,879
Speaker 1: I think in general, I've been trying to make sure

873
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:35,640
Speaker 1: that I'm conscious about how I eat, how I you know,

874
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 1: try to work out somewhere consistently. But that's that's love

875
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 1: to be seen. Don't have any excuses now though we

876
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:46,759
Speaker 1: have we have equipment here, so um so there are risks,

877
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 1: but I do have a really great relationship with my

878
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:52,600
Speaker 1: my midwife and my guy in and stuff like that.

879
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 1: So is that something that I would be concerned about?

880
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 1: No one more for the good guys to finished be

881
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 1: concerned about it. But I also do know that there

882
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 1: is um you know, things that methods that have to

883
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 1: be taken, steps that need to be taken. So I

884
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,919
Speaker 1: feel confident with the people who I would have alongside

885
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 1: me through a process like that. I do feel comfortable. Okay.

886
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 1: Next question, caring for newborn? Who's gonna lose more sleep?

887
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,280
Speaker 1: We discussed. Am I willing to lose more sleep? Are

888
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,320
Speaker 1: are you willing to lose more sleep? That might be

889
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 1: a note for me, dog, We're going to figure out

890
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:26,759
Speaker 1: something else. Figure out something else. Your mother lived here,

891
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 1: all right? Well, and grandma will come. Did you talk

892
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 1: to grandma yet? He's trying to move grandma. You know,

893
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 1: I spoke to Grandma already. That's one more of the guys,

894
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 1: three zero zero for a baby, Ellis, don't be calling

895
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 1: my grandmother without me knowing. Okay, caring for four kids?

896
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:48,240
Speaker 1: Are three boys independent enough to help themselves while caring

897
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:53,800
Speaker 1: for a newborn? Let's think about our kids, Okay, thinking

898
00:44:53,840 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 1: about my boys and how they co exist together. They

899
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,359
Speaker 1: are they are very very self sufficient for them. One

900
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 1: more for the good guy, the four zero Jackson is

901
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 1: a grown adult. Kyle was right there. Cats is on

902
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 1: the border, but Cats body trained. Now he tells me

903
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 1: exactly what he wants to eat. Address himself too. I

904
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,839
Speaker 1: was surprised the other day no one actually looking good.

905
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:20,760
Speaker 1: Jackson had to dress himself, and all of a sudden,

906
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,360
Speaker 1: Cats can just dress himself on his own. Look like

907
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 1: these questions are mask you. I feel like they man,

908
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 1: I feel like triple came in here. She got introduced

909
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 1: to the to the baby, the baby room. She posed

910
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:36,280
Speaker 1: these questions where it's gonna look skewed. But last question,

911
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 1: what about our relationship? Is our marriage? Can you hear me? Hand?

912
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 1: Give me hand? Is our marriage able to withstand the

913
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:45,359
Speaker 1: changes that come with having a new baby in the home.

914
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 1: I'm being honest, Yes, be honest. That's all I want,

915
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 1: is honest. When we spoke about where we see our

916
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 1: next ten years going, right, I did not foresee ten

917
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 1: years going necessarily with another child. However, based on the

918
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:06,799
Speaker 1: conversation that we had with the ten years, we did

919
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 1: say we were going to put each other first, right,

920
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 1: so me putting you first, you're putting me first, and

921
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 1: then the children will then be able to reap the benefits,

922
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:20,400
Speaker 1: the benefits of us putting each other first. If we

923
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 1: stay true to that, it's possible. Fine, that's one. That's fine.

924
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:30,759
Speaker 1: Baby is a sweet. Let's let's lead situations. Always one

925
00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 1: for me, even if it's four one, all right, so

926
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:39,080
Speaker 1: for one. Okay, so it's four one. I know that

927
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 1: that's still not a yes, I get that right, but

928
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 1: at least it's not a note, which means we're picking

929
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 1: up steam. People were not a time because I know

930
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:53,080
Speaker 1: that you wanted to have a baby at a certain age. Yes,

931
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 1: that would have wanted to be done by a certain age.

932
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 1: I thought it was done done. But here's the thing, though,

933
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 1: you're so fine and everybody still thinks you in your twenties,

934
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,760
Speaker 1: So you good? So right now we win in Alright,

935
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:04,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start working on the other projects to make

936
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 1: that happen. And the thousands of people who no one

937
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 1: loves us and watch our story. I love y'all, but

938
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 1: y'all y'all crazy. So here's here's here's the collective moment

939
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:19,240
Speaker 1: of truth. The collective moment of truth, is if code

940
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:21,839
Speaker 1: was a little bit younger, she would have been all

941
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 1: in it, yes and starting a baby. UM. The only

942
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:28,759
Speaker 1: thing she's truthfully worried about is the bounce back of

943
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:31,840
Speaker 1: the fatigue and physically where your body is because of

944
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 1: your age. So it's not about the number of kids.

945
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:38,520
Speaker 1: It's just a little later. God will provide regardless of

946
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:41,279
Speaker 1: how many children that we have, so that isn't really

947
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:46,000
Speaker 1: a conces Not only will God provide, will provide as well.

948
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 1: Absolutely you will. I don't have any doubts about that.

949
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 1: But piggybacking off that moment of truth, Ultimately, it's nice

950
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:59,360
Speaker 1: to make it a collective decision. However, whenever a couple

951
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:02,200
Speaker 1: is married UM or debating about having a child, I

952
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 1: think it's nice to guests have the collective conversation. A

953
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 1: lot of times, Ultimately it is up to the woman

954
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:10,240
Speaker 1: in many cases because we carry the babies, we carry

955
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 1: the children. UM. But at the same time, too, I

956
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 1: feel like with that collective decision, there's not necessarily a

957
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:21,320
Speaker 1: hard yes or no from either party, you know what

958
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:25,800
Speaker 1: I mean? Like I feel like sometimes, um, if a

959
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 1: man is too outspoken about the way he feels about pregnancy,

960
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 1: it's taken as insensitive, taking as pressure while you pressure

961
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:34,239
Speaker 1: on her to have another pressure. We're not allowed to

962
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:37,200
Speaker 1: pressure you. No, I don't. I don't agree that that. Yeah,

963
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:40,359
Speaker 1: that's one. This is one domain where y'all can't. Yeah,

964
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 1: y'all can. Y'all can pressure us about marriage, but you

965
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:44,839
Speaker 1: can't pressure You can't pressure you about babies. I think

966
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 1: this is something very different. No, it is different. It is.

967
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:49,440
Speaker 1: It is. It is very different. It is, and mainly

968
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 1: because you go through some physical changes. I don't know

969
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:55,480
Speaker 1: if people know this, but you you know, you had

970
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 1: to get emergency surgery and I could have lost you

971
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:00,120
Speaker 1: after having Jackson. That's why this is so important to

972
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 1: me to have this discussion, because, um, you had to

973
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 1: go to surgery. I didn't see you or Jackson for hours.

974
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 1: Are you were close to having a blood transfusion and

975
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 1: you almost bled out because your cervix ruptured. Not ruptured, UM,

976
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,799
Speaker 1: was lacerated. Was lacerated, and you were losing a ton

977
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:17,319
Speaker 1: of blood. So um, it's not it's it's a false

978
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:20,200
Speaker 1: equivalency to try to make it or even thing. And

979
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:23,279
Speaker 1: obviously I was joking, but um, I do feel like

980
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,080
Speaker 1: it is a fun conversation to have. But um, I

981
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:28,280
Speaker 1: do like I love you and I love having kids.

982
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 1: I want more kids. UM four would be a nice

983
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 1: square number for me, you know, a nice Screa number

984
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 1: for me. So we'll pray on it, on it. We'll

985
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 1: see how it goes. I'm not I'm not. I can't

986
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,399
Speaker 1: say that I'm fully at this point, but we'll see

987
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:49,719
Speaker 1: how it go. Guys, We'll see how But I do

988
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:52,880
Speaker 1: be in and out. I spent a lot more time though,

989
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 1: so check this out. If you'd like to be featured

990
00:49:57,640 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 1: as one of our listener letters, email us that dead

991
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:02,920
Speaker 1: as ind at gmail dot com for sure, and be

992
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 1: sure to follow us on social media. You can find

993
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,719
Speaker 1: us at dead as the Podcast and you can find

994
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:10,279
Speaker 1: me on my personal page at cadeene. I am and

995
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:12,880
Speaker 1: I am devout. And if you're listening on Apple podcasts,

996
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review, subscribe, and vote baby number four.

997
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 1: You're going to get an influx of listener letters that

998
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:22,799
Speaker 1: are going to be like I think y'all should do

999
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:25,319
Speaker 1: this to get a girl triple. Look out for all

1000
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:28,279
Speaker 1: the recipes because I know people gonna send them in.

1001
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:32,279
Speaker 1: DEVI has to have sex with one foot of the

1002
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 1: other one sock on while you're blinking your eyes a

1003
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:40,920
Speaker 1: thousand times. I'm going to enjoy practicing. Dead Ass is

1004
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Media podcast Network and is

1005
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 1: produced by the Norapinia and Triple Follow the podcast on

1006
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:49,960
Speaker 1: social media at dead as the Podcasts and Never miss

1007
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:50,239
Speaker 1: a Thing