1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,120 Speaker 1: Can you imagine he loves the hot pocket. You know what, 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:07,040 Speaker 1: the hot pockets are great. They're delicious and probably nutritious. 3 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,840 Speaker 1: You know, I eat them a lot. It's I had 4 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:12,039 Speaker 1: one this morning, think about that. So he eats. Henry 5 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:17,160 Speaker 1: traditionally has never been a breakfast person. Everever. I can 6 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: have a hot pocket in the morning, it takes two minutes. 7 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: If I want to make sure your life, you get 8 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 1: the box. I have to get the milk off balls. Yeah, 9 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 1: but it's also this is like terrible, like parenting. I guess, 10 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,480 Speaker 1: Oh well, let me let me talk about my hot 11 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 1: pocket addiction. Now, okay, sorry, carry on, carry on. So 12 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 1: it's two minutes to cook a hot pocket and you 13 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:39,519 Speaker 1: eat it boom, I'm not hungry anymore. And it's tasty. 14 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 1: But I also offer to make you like delicious food, 15 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: like I'll make you pasta catch your peppe. I'll make 16 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: that be with some carrot batons and hummus. And you're like, whatever, 17 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: I'm having a hot pocket. Do you want to go 18 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 1: through all that effort or do you want me to 19 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: put a hot pocket? Sorry, we're off topic. We're off topic, 20 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: and it was so off topic quick I'm compact topic back. Hello, 21 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 1: I'm Mini driver. Welcome to Many Questions Season two. I've 22 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 1: always loved Prust's questionaire. It was originally a nineteenth century 23 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 1: parlor game where players would ask each other thirty five 24 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 1: questions aimed at revealing the other players true nature. It's 25 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: just the scientific method, really. In asking different people the 26 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 1: same set of questions, you can make observations about which 27 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 1: truths appeared to me universal. I love this discipline, and 28 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: it made me wonder, what if these questions were just 29 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: the jumping off point, what greater depths would be revealed 30 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 1: if I ask these questions as conversation starters with thought 31 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 1: leaders and trailblazers across all these different disciplines. So I 32 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: adapted prus questionnaire and I wrote my own seven questions 33 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: that I personally think a pertinent to a person's story. 34 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: They are when and where were you happiest? What is 35 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 1: the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real 36 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 1: or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would you 37 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:05,919 Speaker 1: most like answered, What person, place, or experience has shaped 38 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: you the most? What would be your last meal? And 39 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:11,359 Speaker 1: can you tell me something in your life that's grown 40 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,799 Speaker 1: out of a personal disaster? And I've gathered a group 41 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:19,360 Speaker 1: of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and 42 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,080 Speaker 1: humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You 43 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions. 44 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,919 Speaker 1: We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to 45 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 1: their experience, or the most surprising, or created the most 46 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:38,120 Speaker 1: fertile ground to connect. Hi, I'm Henry Driver, sitting in 47 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 1: today for my mom Mini on this special episode of 48 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: Mother's Day. Addition for many questions, my guests day is 49 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:49,639 Speaker 1: perhaps unsurprisingly Mini Driver, Come on, how's it going. Congratulations 50 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 1: on your new book. Thank you darling, you're in it. 51 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 1: I'm in it. Wow, that's pretty cool. I'm in a book, 52 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,959 Speaker 1: you're hosting my podcast, and you're in a book and 53 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: practically taking over your career mom by me. Actually, I 54 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 1: could use some youthful energy. I think we look close enough. 55 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,680 Speaker 1: We could probably switch out for some movies or something. 56 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: I wonder if anyone would actually notice you almost as 57 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: towards me now, Like if if you just rocked up 58 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,079 Speaker 1: on set one day and we're like, I mean, that 59 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 1: would be very cool. I think we sound stilar as well, 60 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,360 Speaker 1: so it would just be a perfect match. Well, I 61 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 1: like doing my impression of you, but I know you 62 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: don't like it when I do it, And I like, 63 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:27,240 Speaker 1: do you what impression you missizabeth? You do more? I 64 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 1: love it when you do an English accent. More cherries 65 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: and tomatoes, so darling. Now, no it's not tomatoes. It's tomatoes. Tomatoes, 66 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 1: a bath with some tomatoes. Look so far. Okay, that's ridiculous. 67 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 1: I'm really grateful that you're doing this, Downing. It's this 68 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: is a Mother's Day edition and you know Mother's Day 69 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: and my book was just published yesterday. Like it's quite auspicious, 70 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: and which is what makes me grateful that you're doing this. 71 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 1: So thank you, Thank you Mom for having me on 72 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 1: in such a special time. Okay, over to you the questions. 73 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 1: The first question, as you know, is when and where 74 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: were you happiest? Right, Well, my happiest moments they are 75 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:23,480 Speaker 1: always on the beach with everyone, and by that I 76 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 1: mean our family and friends, and there's surf involved, and 77 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: like a long day at the beach and then us 78 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 1: staying and having a barbecue on the beach as you 79 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: know it's dusk, and how Mom would always have her 80 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 1: cocktail shaker for croyntonics like handy, Yeah, I remember that. 81 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 1: I remember that. I loved Remember she used to have those, 82 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,479 Speaker 1: She had these amazing red framed glasses, and she'd have 83 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,839 Speaker 1: her red lipstick and she'd be in some cool puffer 84 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,799 Speaker 1: jacket because it was England and it would be cold, 85 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,720 Speaker 1: and she'd be sitting in her chair. I think I've 86 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 1: got so many pictures of her just roaring with laughter 87 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,680 Speaker 1: whilst reading the newspaper, while pouring herself of our Croyntonic 88 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 1: like in the middle of nowhere in Cornwall. Those were 89 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 1: good memories. Why do you think it's on the beach? 90 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,600 Speaker 1: She knows. Reading something the other day about how as 91 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: you get older you returned to the memories that you 92 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,880 Speaker 1: had as a child. So basically I think before everything, 93 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 1: you know, sorry for the spoiler alert, but everything gets 94 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:23,360 Speaker 1: messed up as you get life from Come on, this 95 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 1: is like you know what I mean. It's like I 96 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,279 Speaker 1: read this thing saying that you return to these places, 97 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 1: you recreate them in your adult life, the places that 98 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 1: you feel happy. So the places that you were actually 99 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,839 Speaker 1: happy is when you were a child. And like pre 100 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 1: everything pre my parents, separation, pre everything in our lives, 101 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 1: me and my sister's life changing. I just remember the beach. 102 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 1: Only good things happen at the beach, the ice cream van, 103 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 1: learning to swim, full attention from my parents because otherwise, 104 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: you know, you might run off and get lost or drowned, 105 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: So they had to pay attention to you. My sister 106 00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:57,800 Speaker 1: burying me. You've seen those pictures right of Kate used 107 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 1: to bury me up to was just my head sharing 108 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:04,479 Speaker 1: and then she would literally leave. It would be in 109 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 1: a hole, not able to get out. I mean I 110 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: think that also for me, that would be a perfect memory. 111 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 1: I mean, sitting in a nice and closed pit of 112 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 1: sand by myself, tied coming in. Oh, the thrill, the thrill, Yes, 113 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 1: you do love it. You did make me do that 114 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 1: the other day. Yeah, but like that was a joke. 115 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't see the joke with hunty Kate. 116 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 1: I gave you boobs and a fish tail, I seem 117 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 1: to remember, which is really infantile on my part, and 118 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,240 Speaker 1: I apologize, but it was funny. Yes, Mom, I now 119 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: have that video so blackly, are you aware? I know 120 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,359 Speaker 1: you're supposed to be asking me the questions, but like, 121 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,039 Speaker 1: are you aware of times that you're happy? Like do 122 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 1: you clock it when you're going, God, this is a 123 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 1: really good time, Like, do you have an awareness of 124 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 1: them happening? I think I have a vague awareness. I 125 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 1: think you don't know it's better until the moments, over 126 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 1: which I think is when the beach is so good, 127 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,040 Speaker 1: because you know, in the moment you're sort of you're 128 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: splashing around. Then you leave and it's sort of like 129 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,599 Speaker 1: you look back on that and you're like, wow, that 130 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,679 Speaker 1: was really good, And so I think I don't notice. 131 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 1: But then what I've left I noticed. That's a really 132 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 1: good point. In fact, that is so interesting because I 133 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 1: was thinking that right before we did this, I was, 134 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 1: as you know, I went out for a surf. That 135 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 1: path from our house to the beach that I've walked 136 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 1: a thousand thousand times, I still have that feeling when 137 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: I come around the corner and I'm walking down the 138 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: path towards the ocean and the sage. The smell of 139 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 1: like hot warm sage is blowing, and it's sunny and 140 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 1: it's beautiful, and I can sort of hear tinkly voices 141 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 1: from the beach. It's like it triggers all those other 142 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: memories of the beach, like all those other memories of 143 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:40,480 Speaker 1: happiness are triggered every time I returned to this beach. So, 144 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,840 Speaker 1: but it's almost like it's on a loop in some 145 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 1: deep place in my heart. And maybe that's it that 146 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 1: we should keep triggering our happy place. We should keep 147 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 1: finding ways of triggering our happy place, like whatever that 148 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: is in our life, whether it's you know, you know, 149 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 1: on the beach, in the city, wherever it is, we're 150 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: just trying to go back to their and have it 151 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: happened again. Yeah, have a new experience in that place 152 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 1: that you categorically know is a place that you have 153 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: been happy. I don't know if that always works. I 154 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 1: think yeah, I think it definitely makes sense. Good. I 155 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: glad I'm not sounding drunk. That's good. What quality do 156 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: you like least about yourself? Good? I mean, I know 157 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 1: that you'll probably have an opinion about this, But the 158 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: thing that drives me maddest about myself is so I'm 159 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 1: explaining this to you even though you watch it happen. 160 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: You know, often when something difficult happens, I don't let 161 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: it just be about that difficult thing that's happening. It's 162 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:44,079 Speaker 1: like that thing becomes a magnetic ball that attracts all 163 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 1: of the other difficult things that are either going on 164 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 1: currently or have gone on in the past, or might 165 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,719 Speaker 1: happen in the future, and they all attached to this 166 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: magnetic ball that was just one small problem and suddenly 167 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: it's this overwhelming ball of catastrophe and it drives me insane. 168 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 1: And I'm completely aware that I do it, and Addison 169 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,440 Speaker 1: is really good at stopping me. Now I'm going hold on, 170 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,320 Speaker 1: hold on, hold on. This was about the waste disposal 171 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,200 Speaker 1: not working for the sixth day in a row, not 172 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: about your current unemployment. I know what you mean. I've 173 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 1: seen it happen before when I'm sitting you know, you know, 174 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,080 Speaker 1: like some raisin brand in the kitchen, and I think 175 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,600 Speaker 1: something minor comes in and it becomes a bigger thing. 176 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,440 Speaker 1: I don't think it's your fault. I think it's just 177 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 1: sort of a way that your brain is programmed, if 178 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:32,960 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I don't think it's really changeable, 179 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 1: but I don't think it's the worst thing. I still 180 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 1: love you. I love it. Do you really think it's 181 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: not programable, because like, if you have awareness about something, 182 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,079 Speaker 1: do you not think that awareness is like the first 183 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 1: step to changing it? Yeah, I mean When I say programmed, 184 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: I don't mean like you can ever change it. I'm 185 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,680 Speaker 1: just saying it's sort of like born into yeah, sort 186 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:53,000 Speaker 1: of like how you know I used to have blonde hair. 187 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,920 Speaker 1: Now I don't have blond hair. It can change kind of, 188 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 1: but it takes time. You have to put work into it. 189 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,480 Speaker 1: I didn't put work into my hair it. You know 190 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 1: what I mean about analogy, But there's a great analogy 191 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 1: that I like that. The thing is I then use 192 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,679 Speaker 1: that against myself and it becomes part of my ball 193 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 1: of catastrophe, going why are you not changing quick enough? 194 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 1: Why are you aware of this thing? And why on earth? 195 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 1: You see how distressed you become and how distressing that 196 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,120 Speaker 1: is for the people around you, So why do you 197 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,720 Speaker 1: keep doing it? I don't quite understand what needs to 198 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 1: happen in order to evolve. Would I would like to 199 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 1: have a drink like Alice in Wonderland to speed up 200 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,760 Speaker 1: the evolution of certain aspects of my psyche? I get 201 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 1: what you mean. That's also that's part of being human. 202 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: You know, we have issues that we bring and then 203 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 1: we all deal with issues in different ways. You know, 204 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 1: you bring other things in some people they'll try to 205 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 1: ignore it. It's it's always different for people. But I 206 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,040 Speaker 1: think if you're really trying to change it, which I 207 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,080 Speaker 1: don't think you need to because I mean, you're perfect 208 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: and every way, oh stop it. I think if you're 209 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 1: really trying to change it, you know, you have to 210 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,280 Speaker 1: really believe that you can, because if you're constantly I 211 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 1: don't know everyone says this, but if you're constantly be 212 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 1: you know, being angry and you're attaching things and you're 213 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 1: doing this you don't want. You have to really focus 214 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:04,559 Speaker 1: on what's happening, and you have to try to move 215 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,560 Speaker 1: away from it. It's true. It's like you come back 216 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 1: to the present moment and go, all of that other 217 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 1: stuff isn't happening. It's just this one thing. I know 218 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,600 Speaker 1: that seems incredibly difficult at the time because you know, 219 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:18,439 Speaker 1: you're thinking, oh no, the pies burning, unemployed, you know, 220 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 1: there's a bunch of stuff happening. I'm not I'm not 221 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 1: saying that to be bad. That's literally how it goes. 222 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 1: We both know that is exactly how it goes. The 223 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 1: apple pie is burned and I can't get a job. 224 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: I don't mean it's what you mean. I'm just repeating 225 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,920 Speaker 1: what you said before. I'm sorry, it's so not mean, 226 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,839 Speaker 1: it's so exactly true. I'm here for it. I think 227 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,440 Speaker 1: you're saying those things. And we really just have to 228 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 1: do is think, Okay, the apple pies burned, but it's fine, 229 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 1: we still have some lasagna. You know, I'm going to 230 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:45,560 Speaker 1: find a job, and you just have to think that 231 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,839 Speaker 1: it's not forever, and you can move away from that, 232 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,720 Speaker 1: and you can you can get away from that place 233 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: and you can find positives. It's difficult because in the 234 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 1: moment you feel like you're useless and it's all bad 235 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 1: and nothing else is going to happen. That's good, But 236 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 1: over time you have to know that it's all just 237 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 1: it's going to fit together like a little puzzle and 238 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 1: just become good. Absolutely true, Darling. I think that is 239 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:08,680 Speaker 1: sage advice. It's really just taking a breath and going 240 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,439 Speaker 1: in this moment, just this thing is happening, and it's 241 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,320 Speaker 1: just like taking a running jump off a cliff. And 242 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,560 Speaker 1: I think we do that as people, or I know 243 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 1: I do it. And I really hope that this conversation 244 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,960 Speaker 1: is a sea change in the way in which I 245 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,720 Speaker 1: barely up to the more the trickier things in life sometimes, 246 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: So you know, thanks for the empathy, babe. Well, I 247 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,679 Speaker 1: think it's probably being your son. We have to be empathetic. 248 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 1: What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you? Well, 249 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,760 Speaker 1: if you weren't interviewing me, I would say, you like 250 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,319 Speaker 1: becoming a mother. And maybe it's pertinent because it's a 251 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,200 Speaker 1: mother's day, but there are really two things that are 252 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,200 Speaker 1: two problem. It really did my ideas about love and 253 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 1: what that was when you were born. It wasn't even 254 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,839 Speaker 1: like it was suddenly like this great aha moment. It 255 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 1: is like this deep inner knowing that it is completely okay, 256 00:12:56,720 --> 00:13:00,080 Speaker 1: that everything you thought before about love was to of 257 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,840 Speaker 1: pales in comparison from this actual definition of it. Is 258 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 1: this all encompassing, unconditional feeling of peace and that everything 259 00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 1: is right, and that's the only way that I can 260 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 1: describe it. And the tangent of that, it's like the 261 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:17,720 Speaker 1: love that I have for Addison, which is that feeling 262 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,800 Speaker 1: of things just being right. And then the other I 263 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,160 Speaker 1: guess this is three pronged, not two prongs. You know, 264 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 1: it's more of a fork. Is with surfing. How I 265 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:30,200 Speaker 1: feel about surfing and when I'm surfing it dovetails into 266 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,640 Speaker 1: how I felt when you were born and how it 267 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,679 Speaker 1: was to fall in love with Addison, which is again 268 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: this feeling of its dynamic. It requires you being completely present. 269 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 1: There is huge respect in it and strength. You can 270 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 1: never underestimate it and in a way, if you humble 271 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,400 Speaker 1: yourself to it, you will reap the rewards. But it 272 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:54,080 Speaker 1: requires a lack of ego and insistence on things being 273 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:57,560 Speaker 1: done your way. There's something about surrender in love, and 274 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,600 Speaker 1: like having a baby is the ultimate surrender, like your body, 275 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,080 Speaker 1: like when you first start having contractions, you know, which 276 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,840 Speaker 1: are the pains that you have to have a baby. 277 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 1: You're just like no, no, no, no, no no no, this 278 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 1: car happen, this car happened. I can't do this. I 279 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,320 Speaker 1: can't do this. You have no choice. You just have 280 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:14,440 Speaker 1: to keep going and surrender to it in the same 281 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 1: way that I ultimately surrender to Addison's kindness, Like I've 282 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 1: never really been with someone who kindness was their fundament 283 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:26,280 Speaker 1: and respect with their fundament. So there's three things for me, You, Eddie, 284 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 1: and surfing my pyramid of love a triangle. It's as 285 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,720 Speaker 1: strong as she is. That right, yeah, I know, because 286 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 1: you're in school paying attention to geometricy of course paying attention. Yeah, uh, well, 287 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 1: back on topic off of school. I think that's a 288 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:44,040 Speaker 1: really interesting definition of love because I know there's a 289 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,440 Speaker 1: lot of people that say love is just about being 290 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 1: with people and it's connecting. We're not connecting on a 291 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 1: deeper level. I think what you're really saying is you're 292 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 1: not just there with them, and you're not being with them. 293 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,520 Speaker 1: You're not you know, like helping them with the groceries, 294 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,800 Speaker 1: but you're you're with their personality. You're like, you're really 295 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: there with them instead of you know, just being there 296 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 1: to cook them food. You're sort of you're there for 297 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 1: the love and you're there for the surrenders. We're there 298 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,000 Speaker 1: for the good times the bad times, not just the 299 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,120 Speaker 1: times where you want to be there. That's so funny 300 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 1: because what I hear in that is it speaks to 301 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,040 Speaker 1: the duality of being a human being. You have this 302 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:15,760 Speaker 1: physical experience, which is doing the groceries, taking care of 303 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,760 Speaker 1: the thing, that this that that, all of which are 304 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 1: expressions of love. Add percent, like when you make me 305 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 1: breakfast in bed, when you make my coffee and eggs 306 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 1: and toast, that is an expression of love. And then 307 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 1: there's the other the spiritual side of being a human being, 308 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 1: which is slightly more difficult to articulate, but just that 309 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 1: deep feeling of peace and safety with someone like strangely, 310 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,120 Speaker 1: that's how I felt like during COVID, when it was 311 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,400 Speaker 1: just you, me and ads together in this really scary time, 312 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 1: seeing really scary things happen and terrible things happening to 313 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 1: so many people, but that feeling of us together was 314 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: this safe unit. It's funny, isn't it. There's like there's 315 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 1: the human the physical experience, and then there's this like 316 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:56,880 Speaker 1: more spiritual is the only way etheric experience that maybe 317 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,720 Speaker 1: runs parallel with it? Yea, So it's a two propt one. 318 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,160 Speaker 1: So is it two pronged? I'd say, I'd say the 319 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 1: third prong it's there. It's just maybe on the other side, 320 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:09,160 Speaker 1: you know. So it's like stabby instead of pokey. Instead 321 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: of pokey, it's stabby instead of folks. It's a double 322 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,040 Speaker 1: sign and two pronged in one pronged fork. My definition 323 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 1: of love is three pronged. But you're saying, like existential 324 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 1: love is two pronged, human and spiritual. Yeah. Great, I 325 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 1: think you should write a book by Wow. The two 326 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 1: pronged fork of love. Yeah, I'd buy that book. I'd 327 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,200 Speaker 1: buy that. I think we should illustrate that cover later, 328 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 1: the two pronged fork of love from up with your 329 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 1: your whole what you've been saying. Do you think you 330 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 1: would have like answered this question differently twenty years ago, 331 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 1: like you know, before you had me, before you've gone 332 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:47,240 Speaker 1: through other stuff, etcetera. Yes, Christ, Yes, I would have. 333 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 1: I would have. I would have thought that this idea 334 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 1: of romantic love, this idea of a family unit looking 335 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 1: the way that I thought it was supposed to, even 336 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 1: though I don't even come from that, which is, you know, 337 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,200 Speaker 1: two parents who are married who then have children, like 338 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 1: my parents weren't married, they had kids, they had kids 339 00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,720 Speaker 1: with other people. I had you without having a partner 340 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,680 Speaker 1: who was sort of, you know, doing the shared duties 341 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,439 Speaker 1: with Like twenty years ago, I would have said that 342 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:14,800 Speaker 1: it was some romantic, ridiculous idea that had been pushed 343 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 1: on me by how I'd processed society, which was looking 344 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,800 Speaker 1: around going, oh, if somebody chooses you and marries you, 345 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,600 Speaker 1: that means that you are loved, as opposed to being 346 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,439 Speaker 1: in life discovering that love for yourself and seeing what 347 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:28,920 Speaker 1: kinds of expressions of that love show up. I eat 348 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,560 Speaker 1: a beautiful baby that comes miraculously out of a connection 349 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,800 Speaker 1: with a person. You know, there's more magic. Now, that's 350 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 1: really beautiful. How perspectives can change in you know, twenty years. 351 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 1: Do you ever do that? Do you ever write down 352 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,280 Speaker 1: your thoughts now like a time caps you're thinking, Oh, 353 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,120 Speaker 1: I'm going to look back and just gonna see. I'm 354 00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:47,119 Speaker 1: going to leave a breadcrumb trail for myself, and then 355 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,720 Speaker 1: I'll come back to this in twenty years and see 356 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 1: what I think about it. I think I've done that before. 357 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,880 Speaker 1: I think i've first school. Yeah. It sounds a bit schoolly, 358 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,159 Speaker 1: doesn't it. Sorry, I'm sorry. I don't mean to, like, 359 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,439 Speaker 1: you know, down on your cool style, but it does feel. 360 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,680 Speaker 1: It does feel sort of like, you know, write down, 361 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,919 Speaker 1: think about later. But I think your explanation of you know, 362 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,639 Speaker 1: twenty years ago, half love sort of felt somethybe pushed 363 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:11,679 Speaker 1: instead of something that you felt. That's really beautiful. That feels, 364 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,959 Speaker 1: you know, take a little garden of love sprouting up, 365 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,640 Speaker 1: changing and evolving. Oh you know what, Also, like that 366 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 1: is actually a really clear indication that evolution is possible. 367 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:25,680 Speaker 1: In my bumbling old brain. Actually, so maybe going back 368 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,560 Speaker 1: to that question before of like will this stuff I 369 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,679 Speaker 1: don't like about myself? Will that evolved? It's like, well, 370 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: your idea about love evolved, and why can't that happen 371 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 1: to other things? That's true, So then maybe maybe it'll 372 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 1: be when I'm e te, I won't have a ball 373 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,119 Speaker 1: of catastrophe too ProMED. Fork has turned into a sport. 374 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 1: It's turned into a sport. We're going to have light 375 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 1: a whole tableware philosophy by the end of this what 376 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,560 Speaker 1: person plays or ex Varian's most altered your life? Well, 377 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,199 Speaker 1: you did, really it's you. But like it's going to 378 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 1: become repetitive if I just keep saying that you. But 379 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,880 Speaker 1: you must know that and people will know that that 380 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 1: you were the person who changed my whole life. But 381 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,720 Speaker 1: when I was much younger, a person who really did 382 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 1: have this huge impact was this girl who is one 383 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,640 Speaker 1: of the stories in my book. You're only your book, Mom, 384 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,240 Speaker 1: I'd tell you I have a book coming at out 385 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,439 Speaker 1: right now. It's called Managing Expectations. Well, mom, so in 386 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,160 Speaker 1: this book there's a story about how when I left college, 387 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,000 Speaker 1: when I left drama school, you know, absolutely intent on 388 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,520 Speaker 1: becoming an actor. I was the only kid in my 389 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:37,240 Speaker 1: class to graduate without getting representation, you know, an agent 390 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,919 Speaker 1: or a manager. Nobody was interested. All my friends got them. 391 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,159 Speaker 1: I didn't, and I was absolutely stuck. I had no 392 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,639 Speaker 1: idea what I was supposed to do in my whole life. 393 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,119 Speaker 1: Since I was five or six years old, had just 394 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 1: been gunning for this notion of becoming an actor. And 395 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,639 Speaker 1: I had also been told that the only way that 396 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 1: you could get work as an actor is if you 397 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:58,520 Speaker 1: had representation. So there was nineteen, absolutely stuffed, and Mom 398 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 1: was so hilarious. You was like, right, well, I supposed 399 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,439 Speaker 1: to better just get a job as a waitress. She 400 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,720 Speaker 1: had no sympathat She was just like, go and find 401 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 1: a way to pay your rent. We need money now, 402 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 1: please get on with the look. Yeah, exactly, get on it. 403 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,400 Speaker 1: So I was like okay, and I had to work. 404 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:13,960 Speaker 1: I didn't have any money, so I was singing in 405 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,879 Speaker 1: jazz clubs. I was like doing whatever I could. I 406 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,639 Speaker 1: hated waitressing, so it's a terrible waiter. Like. I was 407 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 1: always questioning people's wine choices, you know, Like my dad 408 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 1: sadly taught me about wine, and I would mutter under 409 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:30,480 Speaker 1: my breath. God, don't order the peanuts greasy with the beef. 410 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,240 Speaker 1: That is just what I was thinking. Oh my god, 411 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,200 Speaker 1: I was really just thinking I could I pictured you sing, 412 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,439 Speaker 1: dude terrible. So I get fired off. And so then 413 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,919 Speaker 1: I just started singing in jazz clubs and dinner jazz 414 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,080 Speaker 1: and no one was listening. And through this summer it 415 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,120 Speaker 1: was this explosion of this music called acid house, and 416 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,639 Speaker 1: I would go to these parties, these raves out in 417 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: the middle of the countryside in like warehouses and barns 418 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,640 Speaker 1: and wherever, and these huge parties and it was amazing, 419 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,880 Speaker 1: and you just dance all night until it got light, 420 00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,640 Speaker 1: and then a bit further and then you go home. 421 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 1: And in that time, because I wasn't really as you know, 422 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,680 Speaker 1: I just I don't drink a lot, and I didn't 423 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,359 Speaker 1: really do all the drugs that the kids were doing 424 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,480 Speaker 1: at that time, so I was pretty sober. And I 425 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,440 Speaker 1: would be driving home and there was this one girl 426 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 1: who I always seemed to be, you know, I connect 427 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 1: with her because she was also sober, and we'd have 428 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 1: these great conversations and that we partied all through the 429 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,359 Speaker 1: summer and had this great time, and she was just 430 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,320 Speaker 1: really cool. But we never really hung out in between. 431 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 1: We just see each other at these parties, and towards 432 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,240 Speaker 1: the end of the summer, I was just dreading September. 433 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:31,360 Speaker 1: Reality was bench pressing in the parking lot, waiting for 434 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,159 Speaker 1: August thirty one to switch over to September one, and 435 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,200 Speaker 1: then I was just going to get my ass kicked. 436 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,359 Speaker 1: And we must been driving home early one morning and 437 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 1: she was like, you know, what do you do And 438 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, well, you know, I'm supposed to 439 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:42,480 Speaker 1: be an actress. And she was like, what do you 440 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,560 Speaker 1: mean supposed to be I was like, well, I left school, 441 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 1: I don't have any work. I'm singing, I'm trying to 442 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,480 Speaker 1: do that. I don't know what I'm doing at it. 443 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,720 Speaker 1: And she was like, I worked for a casting director 444 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,080 Speaker 1: and I was like, do you She was like, yeah, 445 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,239 Speaker 1: you should come and meet her. And that was like 446 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 1: on the Saturday night, Sunday morning, and on the Monday 447 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 1: I went and met this casting direct who was one 448 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 1: of the nicest people and one of the biggest casting 449 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,719 Speaker 1: directors in the UK and in the world. And I 450 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,400 Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know what she saw in me. 451 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,160 Speaker 1: I had nothing to recommend me except a smart mouth 452 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: and making some jokes, and she called up an agent 453 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:17,400 Speaker 1: who had seen me in a play at drama school 454 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:20,720 Speaker 1: and have been like, she's rubbish, and she just convinced 455 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,720 Speaker 1: her to give me a trial, just to give me 456 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,800 Speaker 1: a try, just try me out for a few weeks 457 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,080 Speaker 1: and see if I could do something. That girl that 458 00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 1: I used to go raving with, she really did change 459 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,119 Speaker 1: my life. I feel like I've heard some of it before. 460 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,119 Speaker 1: I think that's really cool. Her life just kind of 461 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:43,560 Speaker 1: life finds away. It does. Actually for the next question, 462 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,119 Speaker 1: what question would you most like it answered? I know 463 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,199 Speaker 1: this is the difficult one for you. You told me 464 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: it's going to be a bit hard. I literally ran 465 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 1: into Henry's bedroom like before we were like setting up this, 466 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,199 Speaker 1: and I was like, day, I don't know what to 467 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,199 Speaker 1: say to this question, Like I don't know what like 468 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,159 Speaker 1: I've been asking it, and I asked it because I 469 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,439 Speaker 1: don't really know what should I say, and Henry just 470 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:03,000 Speaker 1: sat there watching me eat turkey and lettuce, going I 471 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:04,920 Speaker 1: don't I don't know. I said how long does the 472 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:09,120 Speaker 1: battery last? Because that would be pretty cool? Or I mean, 473 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:11,400 Speaker 1: I do want to know. Why does my electric car 474 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,040 Speaker 1: tell me that I have two d and sixty miles 475 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,440 Speaker 1: and then I drive sixteen miles and it says that 476 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 1: I've used up fifty. It's such a lie like that 477 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:22,879 Speaker 1: that bugs the crap out of me. But I know 478 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,080 Speaker 1: what this just to do with commerce and like you know, 479 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,920 Speaker 1: metrics and the way stuff looks. The question I would 480 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:31,560 Speaker 1: most like answered is I want to know how to 481 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:36,919 Speaker 1: stop this savagery that man shows two people, and I 482 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:41,000 Speaker 1: say man, because it is always men starting wars and 483 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:45,520 Speaker 1: creating this profound unrest. I want to know rather than 484 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,919 Speaker 1: like will it ever end? I want to know how 485 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,639 Speaker 1: to stop it, like as a society, like how we 486 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:55,000 Speaker 1: could globally unite to stop this? That there would be 487 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,040 Speaker 1: like what's the protocol when you start to see the 488 00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:01,959 Speaker 1: troops amassing on a border? What do you do? How 489 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,639 Speaker 1: do we all come together really quickly to stop that 490 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 1: from happening? I would like to know that. That's definitely 491 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,080 Speaker 1: that's sort of expanding on the end world hunger kind 492 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,080 Speaker 1: of thing. Do you mean, like solving like these huge 493 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:15,520 Speaker 1: issues that we have as people? Yeah, like these massive issues, 494 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 1: But I think that's sort of like taking no step 495 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,359 Speaker 1: further with wanting to know how. But I think Yeah, 496 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,560 Speaker 1: you're definitely right. If there's a tier list of questions 497 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 1: that need to be answered, it's pretty high up there. 498 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,679 Speaker 1: It's kind of like a here question, right. It's the 499 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,200 Speaker 1: same thing about saying that we're human or spiritual, because 500 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,280 Speaker 1: obviously I want to know am I going to see 501 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,520 Speaker 1: Mom again? Am I going to see her again? If 502 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 1: someone could just tell me that, I wouldn't worry so much. 503 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,760 Speaker 1: I wish I could know that. But that's also the 504 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,360 Speaker 1: sort of spiritual question. Then there are these human questions 505 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 1: about being here and now, like could we actually affect 506 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,320 Speaker 1: change here if we knew the answer to some of 507 00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:50,760 Speaker 1: these huge questions? Could we make this experience less awful 508 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 1: for so many people? I think, well, because yeah, you're 509 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 1: sort of showing the two roads, the sort of question 510 00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 1: for yourself and the question for humanity. Yeah. Like, I'm 511 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,920 Speaker 1: referencing what's happening the Ukraine right now, and it feels 512 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,520 Speaker 1: it's like a dead end because we don't know how 513 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,360 Speaker 1: to or what's going to happen. I mean, I think 514 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,119 Speaker 1: that's one of the issues with one of some of 515 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,959 Speaker 1: the big questions. You ask them and there's no real answer, 516 00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:12,840 Speaker 1: sort of it leads to a dead end. But I 517 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 1: think exploring that, I think that's really that's important, sort 518 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,560 Speaker 1: of like you know, knowing what life means, knowing how 519 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,800 Speaker 1: to make peace. I think one it means dead end. 520 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,200 Speaker 1: I think that sort of means very important and too 521 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:28,320 Speaker 1: important to have a short answer. It would take textbooks 522 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,200 Speaker 1: of home textbooks to solve you know, peace, the world hunger, 523 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,160 Speaker 1: because there's just there's so many different sides to it. 524 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,320 Speaker 1: It's it's really difficult to sort of create one single 525 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,280 Speaker 1: piece of perfectness. But let me ask you this, Why 526 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,360 Speaker 1: do you think Addison would say it's because of tribalism. 527 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,520 Speaker 1: But we are human beings before we are our tribes. 528 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:50,800 Speaker 1: Why as human beings can we not unite around that humanity? 529 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,680 Speaker 1: Why is it always about the tribalism And the kind 530 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,640 Speaker 1: of furthering what Putin is doing is like the furthering 531 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 1: of Putin's agenda, like he's also a person, Like how 532 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,600 Speaker 1: how does that get? This is so terrible, you poor thing. 533 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,959 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry that I'm pushing this only Oh no, no, 534 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,760 Speaker 1: it's completely fine. I thought about this, you know, but 535 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,520 Speaker 1: I wonder why the humanity doesn't come first, Like why 536 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,240 Speaker 1: isn't there some a chip in our brain, a part 537 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:14,360 Speaker 1: of our brain that kicks in when we start acting 538 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,920 Speaker 1: only in our own self interest. How come there isn't 539 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 1: this thing that completely reminds us that we are part 540 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:22,760 Speaker 1: of something so much bigger than where people. We're not 541 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 1: just a person. I so badly. I don't want to 542 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,560 Speaker 1: say tribalism, but I think since we are descendants of 543 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 1: the Ape, I feel like Apes, they're very tribalistic. They 544 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,159 Speaker 1: like territory there. I mean, as as much I know 545 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 1: is of Apes. I think since our brains evolved from them, 546 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:41,439 Speaker 1: and we've evolved from no wanting to be together with 547 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,840 Speaker 1: our tribe and wanting to keep out the others, I 548 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,879 Speaker 1: think there's just that small bit from being Apes. I 549 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,600 Speaker 1: think that's left in our brain of just that we 550 00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,240 Speaker 1: don't want our tribe to be taken away from us. 551 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,120 Speaker 1: But it all leads back to I don't know the word. 552 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,560 Speaker 1: I I'm gonna say apeism because that sounds correct. So 553 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 1: it all leads back to apeism. The evolution they think. 554 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,399 Speaker 1: They call it the reptilian brain. I'd prefer apism. I 555 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,720 Speaker 1: prefer apism too. I'm going to go to the apism now, 556 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,640 Speaker 1: the monkey brain, the monkey mind. Yeah, the monkey mind. 557 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:09,879 Speaker 1: If we evolved from you know, like if we evolved 558 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 1: from something that that didn't really care. If we have 559 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,159 Speaker 1: all from like turtles, I'm going to make some turtle special. 560 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,399 Speaker 1: It's very mad now, but I'm just assuming the turtles 561 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,679 Speaker 1: they don't really care about territory and tribes. If we 562 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 1: have all from them, we'd have shells, but we'd also 563 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 1: sort of wouldn't care as much. But Darning, when you 564 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,159 Speaker 1: know what, you being able to see that, and you 565 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,800 Speaker 1: being thirteen, it gives me hope that that question I 566 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,360 Speaker 1: want answered is that it's possible it might get answered, 567 00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:35,040 Speaker 1: and that a global response to territorial terrorism might be 568 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,520 Speaker 1: found with your generation. Yeah, I don't think you need 569 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:39,520 Speaker 1: to bust my room with your turkey and salad. You 570 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,720 Speaker 1: you had that figured out, thank you, Ding. I just 571 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 1: needed to talk to you about it, and I figured 572 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,040 Speaker 1: out what my question was. I'm very easy to talk 573 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,240 Speaker 1: to you. I've been told you really are I think 574 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,679 Speaker 1: I told you I made you? Yes, good for you, 575 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,399 Speaker 1: you know, thank you for the reminder. I'm not taking 576 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 1: credit for you completely. You are you? Are you truly? 577 00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:03,400 Speaker 1: Another book? Idea? You are? Letter? Are you? Exclamation point? Yeah, 578 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,879 Speaker 1: we need like really cool colors are nice like gray 579 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,919 Speaker 1: scale photos. We're looking off in the distance. We have 580 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,200 Speaker 1: this book, by the way, That is what I didn't 581 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,879 Speaker 1: want for my memoir, the whole idea of like a 582 00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:15,919 Speaker 1: black and white, gray scale picture of me sort of 583 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,720 Speaker 1: like you know, hand under your chin, kind of staring 584 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,040 Speaker 1: off out of the ocean. Yeah. I just like just 585 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:24,280 Speaker 1: like walking off like this, Yeah, just looking like pensive. 586 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,760 Speaker 1: What would be your last meal? Well, it's about that 587 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,960 Speaker 1: it would be with people, So it would be with you, 588 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:45,520 Speaker 1: adds Auntie, Katie, Percy, Jess, Lily, mom, dad, my stepmother, 589 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 1: my two brothers and their families, and it would be 590 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 1: us on a beach, but with it would be catered 591 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:55,160 Speaker 1: by this restaurant on the Amalfi Coast called La Scola, 592 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,400 Speaker 1: which is the best food I've ever eaten, the most 593 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,160 Speaker 1: transporting food I've ever eaten in my life. And there 594 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 1: would be a way of making sure everything was like 595 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,880 Speaker 1: hot and the perfect temperature and perfectly sir. But we 596 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,320 Speaker 1: would all be on the beach together. And then at 597 00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,840 Speaker 1: the end of eating. I know it sounds nuts, but 598 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:13,800 Speaker 1: there's this courgette zucchini in American pasta that is unlike 599 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,960 Speaker 1: anything I've ever eaten in my life. And these fresh anchovies, 600 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:18,400 Speaker 1: which are not like the antivies that you think of 601 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 1: in a can. They are white. They have just come 602 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,800 Speaker 1: out of the ocean with the warm tomatoes that come 603 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,200 Speaker 1: from the garden in the back of the restaurant. So 604 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 1: these warm, vine ripened by the sun tomatoes with these 605 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:32,160 Speaker 1: fresh white anchovies that have been grilled to perfection with 606 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 1: olive oil and lemon on them, and they're presented on 607 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,360 Speaker 1: a plate in like a star. You lose your mind. 608 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,800 Speaker 1: You lose your mind, which if it's my last meal, 609 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,960 Speaker 1: I don't care about my mind anymore. I just want 610 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,360 Speaker 1: to be eating that food with all of you. And 611 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,520 Speaker 1: then at the end of that right when we've just 612 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 1: finished everything delicious, I want to hear the tinkling of 613 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,479 Speaker 1: an ice cream van. So I get that feeling that 614 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:56,360 Speaker 1: you get when you hear the tinkling of the ice 615 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,920 Speaker 1: cream van. Brings you back to your childhood. Yeah, and 616 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,720 Speaker 1: immediately you get that butterflies in your stomach. It still 617 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:03,400 Speaker 1: happens to me when I hear an ice cream Then 618 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 1: now and then I want us all to race up 619 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,160 Speaker 1: the beach and go and get a Mr Whippy with 620 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,880 Speaker 1: two flakes in it. Two flakes not through not one 621 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:14,200 Speaker 1: to to for American listeners. And Mr Whippy is a 622 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,800 Speaker 1: soft serve ice cream that comes out in a coil 623 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,520 Speaker 1: into a cone and a flake. Is this chocolate bar 624 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,080 Speaker 1: that you get in England that's arguably the most delicious 625 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,320 Speaker 1: chocolate bar to me is and that's stuck in the 626 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:27,280 Speaker 1: top of the ice cream crumbly. It's really nice. Oh 627 00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:31,600 Speaker 1: my god, that is my perfect last mail. It's perfect, 628 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 1: and then I want to take off into whatever's next, 629 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,240 Speaker 1: like as if I had like power jets in my feet, 630 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,440 Speaker 1: so I would literally just wave goodbye to everybody and 631 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:43,560 Speaker 1: then just shoot straight out. Oh yeah, fireworks, fireworks with 632 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,360 Speaker 1: your ice cream and like like a really good firework 633 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:50,040 Speaker 1: display and like really good music and be as I ascended, 634 00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,680 Speaker 1: because there would be some kind of ascent in your 635 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:55,480 Speaker 1: power rocket boots with your two flag not or not 636 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,719 Speaker 1: three Mr Whippy from an ice cream. Then after you've 637 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,280 Speaker 1: eaten this delicious zuki and then there would be a 638 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,640 Speaker 1: giant rainbow over the beach and glitter. That's really great. 639 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 1: That is it? Men out such a great answer. I 640 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 1: think incorporating people that you love and stuff that's really interesting. 641 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:13,240 Speaker 1: And then Auntie Katy would be like, Okay, let's pack 642 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,640 Speaker 1: up the leftovers. Don't waste anything quickly. You need to 643 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:22,440 Speaker 1: go by waited getting dark? Leave, that's getting dark. If 644 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,680 Speaker 1: the mill has all your friends and family and everyone, 645 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,760 Speaker 1: what would you want to talk about? Love? I just 646 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:31,240 Speaker 1: love stories. I love when people tell stories. But my 647 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,720 Speaker 1: dad used to tell the best stories. Mom used to 648 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,000 Speaker 1: tell the best stories. I just and I loved hearing 649 00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:38,200 Speaker 1: the same stories. Like Mom and Dad used to tell 650 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 1: the story, and they would tell it about each other 651 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 1: when the other one wasn't present, and they tell it 652 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,160 Speaker 1: when they were together. It used to crack me up 653 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,280 Speaker 1: that they both would tell the story, which was when 654 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,880 Speaker 1: mom and dad went to Morocco and they were on 655 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:53,000 Speaker 1: this amazing, crazy adventure and they were in this place 656 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,920 Speaker 1: and they were serving lamb and my dad goes, the 657 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,920 Speaker 1: lamb was green, and Mom goes, the lamb had a 658 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 1: green sauce. And my dad would be like, the lamb 659 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,800 Speaker 1: was green because it was bad, and my mom was like, 660 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,160 Speaker 1: the lamb had a green sauce because everyone knows that 661 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:10,920 Speaker 1: you eat mint sauce with lamb, and that mint is 662 00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:14,480 Speaker 1: very very common in Morocco. So Dad says, I told 663 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:16,640 Speaker 1: her not to eat it, and Mom's like, he told 664 00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 1: me not to eat it, And I said, you're being ridiculous, 665 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,840 Speaker 1: and Dad said she wouldn't listen. And then Mom eats 666 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:25,160 Speaker 1: the lamb and obviously nearly dies of food poisoning, and 667 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,840 Speaker 1: my dad manages to be both completely empathetic and take 668 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:32,720 Speaker 1: care of her whilst also massively doing the I Told 669 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,280 Speaker 1: you so danced as she's throwing up and almost dying 670 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:37,240 Speaker 1: from food poisoning. So that's what I would like everyone 671 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:38,840 Speaker 1: to be talking about. It is like telling the funniest 672 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:42,480 Speaker 1: stories and laughing really hard, just like when we all 673 00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:50,280 Speaker 1: start laughing in Cornwall. That's my favorite thing in your life. 674 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 1: Can you tell me something that has grown out of 675 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:59,200 Speaker 1: a personal disaster? Yes, looking back, I know that every 676 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:04,080 Speaker 1: time I thought the world was ending, when you know, 677 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:08,360 Speaker 1: a relationship didn't work out, when I was suddenly broke 678 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,800 Speaker 1: and didn't know where the next job was coming from. 679 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:16,560 Speaker 1: When I look and I see, invariably things grew out 680 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,360 Speaker 1: of all of those things. I have so many disasters 681 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,760 Speaker 1: because I think people do. But invariably every choice that 682 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,360 Speaker 1: you're forced to make when something doesn't work out leads 683 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,120 Speaker 1: you to what your life is and how can you 684 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 1: not celebrate that. It's a heavy one, but it's true. 685 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,640 Speaker 1: When Mom died, I was like, it is not possible 686 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:38,200 Speaker 1: to recover from this. So I kept thinking, well, this 687 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,760 Speaker 1: is terrible. Nothing good can grow out of this, and 688 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:44,280 Speaker 1: it's true, for a long time nothing did. And then 689 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,680 Speaker 1: so strangely, like the little shoots you see on a 690 00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,040 Speaker 1: tree that looks dead in winter, you know, the trees 691 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,240 Speaker 1: near our house in London that just looked like there 692 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,400 Speaker 1: is no way they are coming back. And then one 693 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:58,440 Speaker 1: day in March you see a little, tiny green shoot 694 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:01,120 Speaker 1: coming out of a branch. And I had that this 695 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:04,480 Speaker 1: year because I was still feeling so much grief. And 696 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,400 Speaker 1: when I saw that little green shoot on the magnolia trees, 697 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:10,719 Speaker 1: I felt this thing inside. I felt this recognition that 698 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,200 Speaker 1: it was growing anew. And then it reminded me of Mom, 699 00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:16,240 Speaker 1: because she loved the spring. She died in the spring. 700 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,920 Speaker 1: She loved the spring. She loved the notion of renewal. 701 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,600 Speaker 1: She loved being able to say it is ship right now, 702 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:23,960 Speaker 1: excuse my French, and it is going to get better. 703 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:27,080 Speaker 1: She loved that. So there's something in March of this 704 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,400 Speaker 1: year when I saw those shoots growing out of the trees, 705 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:32,560 Speaker 1: I knew it was going to be okay. And that 706 00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:34,439 Speaker 1: didn't mean that I wasn't going to have days where 707 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,120 Speaker 1: I would miss her so much, but it reminded me 708 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,920 Speaker 1: that it is true at all things evolved, even grief, 709 00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:44,440 Speaker 1: even lost, and sometimes they can evolve in the absence 710 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:46,239 Speaker 1: of the thing that you think has to happen to 711 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,000 Speaker 1: make you feel better. And in that case, it was 712 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:49,880 Speaker 1: she has to be alive again in order for me 713 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,120 Speaker 1: to feel better. And the problem, or the thing is 714 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:53,880 Speaker 1: is that she isn't going to be alive again. And 715 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:56,080 Speaker 1: she would be the first person to scoff with laughter 716 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,000 Speaker 1: me thinking that could ever happen. But she's definitely what 717 00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:02,000 Speaker 1: gave me the ability to like notice the green shoots 718 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,799 Speaker 1: on the magnolia tree and actually connect that to the 719 00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:06,959 Speaker 1: evolution of grief. But it was a bit heavy, darling, 720 00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,239 Speaker 1: sorry about that. No, no, no no, it's fine. I mean 721 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:12,320 Speaker 1: I lived through it as well. I got the same memories. 722 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,200 Speaker 1: So I think you're wrapping it all around to the 723 00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:17,239 Speaker 1: evolution thing where we all evolve, Like we're just full 724 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,600 Speaker 1: circled right on into the evolution again. It all can 725 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,719 Speaker 1: evolve your dead trees they go sprouts, so that that 726 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,040 Speaker 1: might be the best knowalogy I've ever heard. I mean, 727 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:31,719 Speaker 1: I mean that's yeah, like you know, the power of evolution, renewal, renewal, renewal, Yeah, 728 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:35,480 Speaker 1: you know of like how things they reap, they recycle, 729 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,319 Speaker 1: they regret, which is again what makes me feel that 730 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:42,000 Speaker 1: the notion of death being an end seems really improbable, 731 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,360 Speaker 1: given that this whole universe seems to be about the 732 00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,399 Speaker 1: continuation and the renewal of energy and that's pretty much 733 00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:51,759 Speaker 1: what we are. It's been a lovely conversation. I'm sad 734 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:55,200 Speaker 1: that I run out of questions starting when you're properly empathetic, 735 00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:57,680 Speaker 1: hen And like I said, I have great hope for 736 00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 1: the future because because of you. Thank you, Mom. You're welcome, 737 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,440 Speaker 1: my darling. Happy Mother's Day to both of us. I mean, 738 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,240 Speaker 1: I'm not really a mother, but I think you made 739 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,520 Speaker 1: me a mother, so I suppose I should sort of 740 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,880 Speaker 1: thank you. We're in it together, like fast and furious, 741 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:17,600 Speaker 1: you know, like that kind of thing. Family. Family. Family. 742 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:21,120 Speaker 1: That's a perfect way to end this evolution And Vin Diesel, 743 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:25,719 Speaker 1: You're amazing. Thank you so much. I love you, love you. 744 00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:30,560 Speaker 1: Happy Mother's Day. My mom. Mini has a book out 745 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:34,440 Speaker 1: right now you should definitely buy. It's called Manergy Expectations, 746 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,560 Speaker 1: and it's kind of a bit more ish. It's stories 747 00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,279 Speaker 1: from her life about how life not working out is 748 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:42,360 Speaker 1: really life working out. You can see her in the 749 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,520 Speaker 1: movies Chevalier and Rosalind later this year, and thank you 750 00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,520 Speaker 1: for listening to her podcast. She really loves doing it. 751 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:54,200 Speaker 1: Many Questions is hosted and written by me Mini Driver, 752 00:36:54,800 --> 00:37:02,400 Speaker 1: Supervising producer Aaron Kaufman, Proda Morgan Levoy, Research Assistant Marissa Brown. 753 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:09,359 Speaker 1: Original music Sorry Baby by Minni Driver, Additional music by 754 00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:14,560 Speaker 1: Aaron Kaufman. Executive produced by me Mini Driver. Special thanks 755 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:20,480 Speaker 1: to Jim Nikolay, Will Pearson, Addison No Day, Lisa Castella 756 00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:25,759 Speaker 1: and Nick Oppenheim at w kPr, de La Pescador, Kate 757 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:30,360 Speaker 1: Driver and Jason Weinberg, and for constantly solicited tech support, 758 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:31,640 Speaker 1: Henry Driver