WEBVTT - Study Hall: How to Deal With Trauma

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<v Speaker 1>An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child

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<v Speaker 1>in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from Al Salvador

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<v Speaker 1>accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with

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<v Speaker 1>filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just

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<v Speaker 1>some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President

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<v Speaker 1>Donald J.

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<v Speaker 2>Trump's leadership.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Christy nom the United States Secretary of Homeland Security.

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<v Speaker 1>Under President Trump, attempted illegal border crossings are at the

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<v Speaker 1>lowest levels ever recorded, and over one hundred thousand illegal

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<v Speaker 1>aliens have been arrested. If you are here illegally, your

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<v Speaker 1>next you will be fined nearly one thousand dollars a day, imprisoned,

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<v Speaker 1>and deported.

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<v Speaker 2>You will never return.

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<v Speaker 1>But if you register using our CBP home app and

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<v Speaker 1>leave now, you could be allowed to return legally.

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<v Speaker 2>Do what's right. Leave now.

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<v Speaker 1>Under President Trump, America's laws, border and families will be protected.

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<v Speaker 3>Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security.

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<v Speaker 4>I saw this video that came out yesterday and it

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<v Speaker 4>was from Love and Hip Hop and this lift a

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<v Speaker 4>little scrappy in his mom and I wanted to share

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<v Speaker 4>this because it was very powerful, but I also want

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<v Speaker 4>to kind of break it down as well, so I

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<v Speaker 4>play it now house.

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<v Speaker 5>I grew up in a trap house, so all I

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<v Speaker 5>knew was that, you know what I'm saying, And I

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<v Speaker 5>love you because you held it down, like you did

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<v Speaker 5>what you had to do.

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<v Speaker 6>But imagine you.

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<v Speaker 5>You never had You never had to sleep with your

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<v Speaker 5>mama twenty four seven because you couldn't go in your room. Okay,

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<v Speaker 5>you never had to walk in on U dope. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 5>you never had to walk in on un Just you

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<v Speaker 5>know what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 3>The way I was.

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<v Speaker 5>Raised, I had to deal with that because everything that happened,

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<v Speaker 5>I had to deal with that. And I'm still dealing

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<v Speaker 5>with it because ain't nobody come and take me to

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<v Speaker 5>give me no help.

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<v Speaker 6>Ain't nobody got me no help.

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<v Speaker 5>I got learned about that when I got older.

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<v Speaker 3>So do you want it real good?

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<v Speaker 5>Like this?

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<v Speaker 3>What this in my head?

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<v Speaker 5>In my head?

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<v Speaker 6>My whole life in my head I go through.

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<v Speaker 5>I can't even go to her hard, I can't go

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<v Speaker 5>to you, you horror.

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<v Speaker 6>So I'm on the concrete.

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<v Speaker 4>But my grand Lord, So that's a very powerful clip.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, I get emotional washing.

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<v Speaker 6>It's super powerful. So if you look at Scrappy and

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<v Speaker 6>you look at his mom.

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<v Speaker 4>The reason why I really want to show this is

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<v Speaker 4>from the mother's end as well, because I see a

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<v Speaker 4>lot of responses like Mama D doesn't care Mama D.

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<v Speaker 4>Mama D is stuck in trauma response. Scrappy shared he

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<v Speaker 4>experienced growing up with her, but there's another side to it.

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<v Speaker 4>Her with Mama D experience growing up and trauma. Beguess trauma.

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<v Speaker 4>So Scrappy is right in being able to one share

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<v Speaker 4>that experience and be vulnerable with his mom.

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<v Speaker 6>In that way.

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<v Speaker 4>But there's again there's a there's a reason why Mama

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<v Speaker 4>D is probably acting the way that she's acting. And

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<v Speaker 4>I guarantee you if you go back into these maps here,

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<v Speaker 4>we can start to see where she's probably at. Let's

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<v Speaker 4>go back here. So if you ever watched Love and

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<v Speaker 4>Hip Hop and you're seeing Scrappy Scrappy, you can tell

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<v Speaker 4>he's been in a fight or flight pattern. You know,

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<v Speaker 4>he's always fighting. Seems like he's always fighting. And again

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<v Speaker 4>that behavior is not conscious. That is unconscious behavior. And

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<v Speaker 4>this is why we say do the healing work, is

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<v Speaker 4>so that you can break that pattern and start to

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<v Speaker 4>exhibit new behaviors and This is what he's trying to

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<v Speaker 4>do by trying to talk to his mother about what

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<v Speaker 4>he experienced. He's trying to break a pattern. But one

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<v Speaker 4>thing he said is he said, you know, I haven't.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm still dealing with it. It's yet because it's in

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<v Speaker 4>your body. You see the emotional response for him, it's

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<v Speaker 4>in his body. So even after that event, he may

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<v Speaker 4>walk away and that may feel good that he was

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<v Speaker 4>able to share that, but you still got it. Empty

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<v Speaker 4>the cup out. You still have to empty the cup

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<v Speaker 4>of the body. And we're going to talk about that.

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<v Speaker 4>So let me move go forward. So if anybody can

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<v Speaker 4>ask questions too, this is open form at this point.

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<v Speaker 4>So I grew up, move forward because I want to

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<v Speaker 4>show this in terms of stimulus response. We live in

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<v Speaker 4>a stimulus response feedback loop. So when you take a

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<v Speaker 4>look at our culture, you look at again, let's talk

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<v Speaker 4>about the imbalanced brain. If you look to the top

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<v Speaker 4>left there that's the left side and the right side

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<v Speaker 4>the right side, you see an over activation that has

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<v Speaker 4>to do with being stuck in the sympathetic which is

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<v Speaker 4>the fight flight response. So I say that this gentleman

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<v Speaker 4>here that's called them Dante, I say that Dante grew

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<v Speaker 4>up in an environment where there was stimulus, stimulus that

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<v Speaker 4>that caused him to go into fight or flight. And

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<v Speaker 4>what that stimulus may look like is it can look

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<v Speaker 4>like being abused. It could look like being abandoned. It

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<v Speaker 4>can look like being bullied. It can look like, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>having absentee parents. It could look like having mental you know,

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<v Speaker 4>parents with mental illness. It can look like having a

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<v Speaker 4>parent who was in prison. It can look like many

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<v Speaker 4>different things to activate that that response, that fight or

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<v Speaker 4>flight response.

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<v Speaker 6>And now that he's stuck, and then you start to

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<v Speaker 6>look at what are the what are the.

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<v Speaker 4>Physical reactions that take place, the physical reactions, and you

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<v Speaker 4>can start to think about this for yourself too, and

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<v Speaker 4>stain your body as I call.

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<v Speaker 6>These things out. Elevated shoulders, where are your shoulders at

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<v Speaker 6>right now? Tight neck? Where's your neck? Clint's jaw? Are

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<v Speaker 6>you Clinton?

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<v Speaker 4>Ernest?

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<v Speaker 1>An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child

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<v Speaker 1>in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from Al Salvador

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<v Speaker 1>accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with

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<v Speaker 1>filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just

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<v Speaker 1>some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President

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<v Speaker 1>Donald J.

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<v Speaker 2>Trump's leadership.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Christy nom the United States Secretary of Homeland Security.

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<v Speaker 1>Under President Trump, attempted illegal border crossings are at the

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<v Speaker 1>lowest levels ever recorded, and over one hundred thousand illegal

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<v Speaker 1>aliens have been arrested. If you are here illegally, your

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<v Speaker 1>next you will be fine nearly one thousand dollars a day,

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<v Speaker 1>imprisoned and.

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<v Speaker 2>Deported, you will never return.

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<v Speaker 1>But if you register using our CBP home app and

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<v Speaker 1>leave now, you could be allowed.

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<v Speaker 2>To return legally. Do what's right. Leave Now.

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<v Speaker 1>Under President Trump, America's laws, border and families.

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<v Speaker 2>Will be protected.

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<v Speaker 3>Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security.

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<v Speaker 6>Do you grind your teeth? Do you have back pain?

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<v Speaker 4>That you can explain a lot of people stuff from

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<v Speaker 4>back pain. They think I lifted something, but really back

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<v Speaker 4>pain can also happen from as an emotional stress response,

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<v Speaker 4>trauma response as well, joint aches, balling of your fist,

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<v Speaker 4>that's very common overall, body stiffness, holding your breath, gas

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<v Speaker 4>or intentional issues and shape.

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<v Speaker 6>These are the physiological.

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<v Speaker 4>Responses that take place in the body when we keep

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<v Speaker 4>having stress, chronic stress, or stuck in a stress response.

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<v Speaker 4>But then let's talk about the emotional side and how

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<v Speaker 4>this shows up in your life. Difficulty managing money. I

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<v Speaker 4>like how that's the first first one, specifically because we're

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<v Speaker 4>on a platform that's all about financial literacy, right, A

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<v Speaker 4>part of our issue is not just financial literacy just

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<v Speaker 4>because you know, okay, I know how to make money,

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<v Speaker 4>but do you know how to manage money? Do you

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<v Speaker 4>know how to keep money? And that's been our biggest thing.

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<v Speaker 4>We know how to we know how to get money,

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<v Speaker 4>Like look at this spending though, and whatever we spending

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<v Speaker 4>the money on. Well, if you look at the top, right,

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<v Speaker 4>those physiological symptoms, you're going to try to self soothe yourself.

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<v Speaker 4>And what's the best way to self soothe, well, to spend.

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<v Speaker 4>You're going to spend your way out of pain, right,

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<v Speaker 4>And spending your way out of pain might look like

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<v Speaker 4>and I've talked about on the last class. It may

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<v Speaker 4>look like retail therapy. It may look like overeating over

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<v Speaker 4>consuming food. It may look like you have out of

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<v Speaker 4>the top ten websites in the world, three of them

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<v Speaker 4>are porn. And so if you start to look like

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<v Speaker 4>we're self soothing in these ways, we're trying to alleviate

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<v Speaker 4>the symptomology. We just have bad choices in terms of

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<v Speaker 4>a bad we're using the wrong resources to do so.

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<v Speaker 4>Can you still hear me being overly self reliant? Now,

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<v Speaker 4>this was pushed in our community for independent women to

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<v Speaker 4>be independent, and those are just trauma responses as well.

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<v Speaker 4>And I'm not saying independent overly self reliant. Independence is fine,

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<v Speaker 4>but interdependence is more resourceful.

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<v Speaker 6>I need you, you need me.

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<v Speaker 4>Struggling to achieve goals, things like procrastination are known as

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<v Speaker 4>trauma responses. The whole idea of people are lazy. Those

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<v Speaker 4>are just trauma responses body image issues. That's very big

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<v Speaker 4>in our community now. Everybody's running to fix their bodies

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<v Speaker 4>because that's the way that we can get attention. Attention

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<v Speaker 4>has become a new currency. So what do you need

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<v Speaker 4>that attention for? Well, what's the basic thing that you

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<v Speaker 4>need attention for. It's another way of self soothing is

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<v Speaker 4>to have the attention from others because it makes.

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<v Speaker 6>You feel, can make.

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<v Speaker 4>You feel whatever that may be confident or love. But again,

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<v Speaker 4>all of these have diminishing returns. These these things that

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<v Speaker 4>we do to try to really solve the issue has

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<v Speaker 4>a diminished return and a long run is not helpful.

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<v Speaker 6>It's helpful in the upfront, but.

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<v Speaker 4>In a long run you may be spending more time

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<v Speaker 4>getting getting more surgeries. This is what you see with

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<v Speaker 4>plastic surgery specifically in like Hollywood.

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<v Speaker 6>You see that is never enough.

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<v Speaker 4>Once you go in try to fix one thing, and

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<v Speaker 4>you next fixing ten other things, and now you look

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<v Speaker 4>like you should join witness protection. Nobody can even nobody

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<v Speaker 4>knows who you are. And we've seen that. Look, all

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<v Speaker 4>the stuff that we see in our community is like

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<v Speaker 4>right in front of our faces and it's all mental

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<v Speaker 4>health related emotional decision making.

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<v Speaker 6>We see a lot of that, making.

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<v Speaker 4>Bad decisions based on an emotional state of being. That's

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<v Speaker 4>not something you wanted to do. Inflexible dating standards. Oh,

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<v Speaker 4>this is like really big right now within our community

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<v Speaker 4>as well, where people feel like they have to have

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<v Speaker 4>a list of all these attributes and that person looks perfect.

0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:28.040
<v Speaker 4>Perfectionism itself is a trauma response. So imagine when you're

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<v Speaker 4>looking for the perfect person. You know you're looking for

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<v Speaker 4>the perfect person for you, but the person is not perfect,

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<v Speaker 4>and that perfect person is not going to save you.

0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:39.880
<v Speaker 4>And that perfect person is not going to change those

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<v Speaker 4>physiological responses, nor are those middle emotional issues for you.

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<v Speaker 4>This is the work that we have to do to

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<v Speaker 4>begin to overcome that.

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<v Speaker 6>Let's go next.

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<v Speaker 1>An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child

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<v Speaker 1>in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from El Salvador

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<v Speaker 1>accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with

0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:05.079
<v Speaker 1>filming and selling child pornography in Michigan.

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<v Speaker 2>These are just.

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<v Speaker 1>Some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President

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<v Speaker 1>Donald J.

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<v Speaker 2>Trump's leadership. I'm Christy Noman, the.

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<v Speaker 1>United States Secretary of Homeland Security. Under President Trump, attempted

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<v Speaker 1>illegal border crossings are at the lowest levels ever recorded,

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<v Speaker 1>and over one hundred thousand illegal aliens have been arrested.

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<v Speaker 1>If you are here illegally, your next you will be

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<v Speaker 1>fine nearly one thousand dollars a day, imprisoned, and deported.

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<v Speaker 2>You will never return.

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<v Speaker 1>But if you register using our CBP home app and

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<v Speaker 1>leave now, you could be allowed to return legally.

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<v Speaker 2>Do what's right, leave now.

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<v Speaker 1>Under President Trump, America's laws, border and families will be protected.

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<v Speaker 3>Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security,