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Speaker 1: We're back. I'm Drew McCarry and I'm David Roth and

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Speaker 1: coming in September a new site we have built together

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Speaker 1: called defect or Defector, and we're gonna have a new

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Speaker 1: podcast to go with it, this very podcast which has

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Speaker 1: the name The Distraction. It's out right now every rust.

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Speaker 1: Get your podcast at Stitcher, Spotify, Apple, Go listen right

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Speaker 1: now to The Distraction everywhere. It's out right now. Go

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Speaker 1: listen to see you by, Hey, what's good job? We

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Speaker 1: recorded these episodes before all the news about COVID nineteen broke.

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Speaker 1: We wanted to let you know that we're here for

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Speaker 1: you and we hope that you enjoyed these episodes and

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Speaker 1: they can bring you a little bit of joy and

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Speaker 1: escape in these uncertain times. I don't know how I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna talk to our boys about sex. You stole my

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Speaker 1: sound by because I was gonna say the same thing. Well,

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Speaker 1: dead ass, who's gonna talk to him? He and Elis

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Speaker 1: we may know us from posting funny videos without boring

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Speaker 1: and reading each other publicly had a form of ray

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Speaker 1: I'm making me dead most dates. And one more important

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Speaker 1: thing to mention, we're married, Yes, so we are. We

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Speaker 1: created this podcast, an open dialogue about some of life's

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Speaker 1: most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk

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Speaker 1: about through the lens of mommonial Mattie Couples. Dead ass

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Speaker 1: is the term that we say every day, but we

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Speaker 1: say dead as we're actually saying facts. One hun the truth,

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Speaker 1: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We're about

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Speaker 1: to take stilt talk to a whole new lever started. Now. Alright, guys,

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Speaker 1: this story time it's gonna be extremely short because it

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Speaker 1: is the microcosm of my sex education experience in my household. Right. So,

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Speaker 1: at this time, at fifteen, I was still exploring but

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Speaker 1: not really having sex consistently. So I had a couple

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Speaker 1: of girlfriends, you know, we were doing some things. I was,

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Speaker 1: you know, sophomore in high school. I was a late bloomer,

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Speaker 1: so I was still like very very young. Um, I

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Speaker 1: looked very young, but I was still trying to figure out, like,

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Speaker 1: what is this thing everybody's talking about? And I had

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Speaker 1: no one to really tell me. Um. One morning, walk

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Speaker 1: into my parents room to get socks and my dad goes, hey,

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Speaker 1: I said what he said, you know, I keep my condoms.

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Speaker 1: I was like yeah, and that bottom drawer. He was like,

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Speaker 1: all right, that was my sex education experience. The end.

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Speaker 1: I remember my uncle Kevin gave me a similar speech. Um.

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Speaker 1: The speech went like this, YO, when it rains, make

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Speaker 1: sure you got your rain boots on. Metaphor. That was it.

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Speaker 1: That was it. That was it. But no one really

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Speaker 1: talked to me to details about sex, and I kind

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Speaker 1: of ended up figuring it out on my own, speaking

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Speaker 1: to some older, older cousins and older dudes I looked

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Speaker 1: up to, and I ended up figuring it out and then, um,

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Speaker 1: now you're a pro. Three kids later, I should be

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Speaker 1: a hope you know what you're doing. Mine was very

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Speaker 1: kind of awkward, you know, because my mom tends to

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Speaker 1: be very awkward with like uncomfortable conversations. So at school,

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Speaker 1: of course, because that's generally where you start hearing things.

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Speaker 1: People start talking about, you know, sex and this and

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Speaker 1: that and body parts. So I remember saying to my

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Speaker 1: mom one day, like, so people talking about sex at school?

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Speaker 1: Was that? And I was round about thirteen, um, which

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking nowadays it's probably really late to have a

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Speaker 1: conversation about sex, extremely late now with access to Instagram

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Speaker 1: and you too. And then she started forcing the conversation

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Speaker 1: came up also too, with like knowing your body and

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Speaker 1: like when your period was going to come. So she

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Speaker 1: ended up getting me a book that was kind of

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Speaker 1: like talked about the body, menstruation, all that stuff, and

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Speaker 1: then it kind of touched on sex a bit, and

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Speaker 1: she's like, read the book and we'll discuss it. But

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Speaker 1: the discussion was very kind of vague, vague, and I

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Speaker 1: just have to kind of figure things out on my own.

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Speaker 1: Knowing my mom, you know how she was sweating bullets

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Speaker 1: having this conversation with me. So things have to be

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Speaker 1: different with our boys. So Kay picked this song baby Ahead.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna start it off for us. I think we should.

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Speaker 1: It's so fitting, it's so fitting. Let's talk about sex bait.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all

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Speaker 1: the good things and the bad things that make me.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk about sex. Let's talk about Hey, Hey, let's

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Speaker 1: talk about sex. Let's talk about sex. Hey, we're talking

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Speaker 1: about sex. That's the record already. No, we talk about

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Speaker 1: sex openly and often on this podcast. Yes, we talk

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Speaker 1: about it in our relationship. Our Sex Drives even had

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Speaker 1: an expert on the show to help us spice up

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Speaker 1: our sex lives. So that's an ongoing topic for us.

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Speaker 1: But now that we have to prepare the way our

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Speaker 1: boys approach sex eventually and sexuality as they get older, UM,

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Speaker 1: we have to have a different talk. And because de

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Speaker 1: Val and I are both shook over this conversation, we

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Speaker 1: felt the need to bring somebody in to help us

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Speaker 1: get a clear explanation on how we can talk to

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Speaker 1: our boys about sex and sexuality. We brought in an expert,

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Speaker 1: Miss Antoinette Sully. Hey girl, I thank you for having

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Speaker 1: what one of my favorite characters from Monsters Inc. It's

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Speaker 1: Scully's best Scully Scully X files bad. Okay, I still so.

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Speaker 1: Antona is a mother, an entrepreneur, and the co founder

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Speaker 1: of more Than sex Ed, which is an organized organization

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Speaker 1: which mission which oh gosh, let's say that again. Antona

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Speaker 1: is a mother, an entrepreneur, and the co founder of

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Speaker 1: more Than sex Ed, an organization whose mission it is

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Speaker 1: to provide a comprehensive, inclusive, and fact based, very important

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Speaker 1: understanding of human sexuality to children across l A. So welcome, Antoinette,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us today. I mean,

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Speaker 1: after Devottle his story and I told my story clearly

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Speaker 1: there's this uncomfortable situation that occurs whenever parents have to

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Speaker 1: talk to their children about sex. Do you think that's common?

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Speaker 1: Do you in your expertise have you come across those

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Speaker 1: scenarios where you kind of had to intervene maybe to

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Speaker 1: help parents like us give our children the talk. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I think that it is so important that we start early,

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Speaker 1: but because most people don't want to start early, I

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Speaker 1: mean like early, like as soon as your child starts

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Speaker 1: to identify body parts early, that's like three, because already

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Speaker 1: knows his stuff and stuff and your stuff. In fact,

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Speaker 1: I know that we don't have similer stuff. Yeah, sure,

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Speaker 1: that's one of the first things. Is your opposite gender

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Speaker 1: children would be like, oh, that's different than what I have.

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Speaker 1: So clearly there's levels to this whole thing. Of course, yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: you don't dump, You don't dump at all, right, right, right? So, um,

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Speaker 1: would you say that there's kind of like a natural

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Speaker 1: succession with ages that okay, age groups you know, say

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Speaker 1: three to five or like you know, six to eight,

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Speaker 1: that there's certain conversations that should be had or do

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Speaker 1: you kind of wait to see what your children brings

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Speaker 1: your way, or how do you kind of a little

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Speaker 1: bit of both, right, And I think one of the

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Speaker 1: things that I like to tell parents and that we

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Speaker 1: or to stick to is answer the question you're being asked,

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Speaker 1: So don't provide any extra, but don't don't assume that

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Speaker 1: the extra information is what they're looking for. Sometimes it's

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Speaker 1: very much they have a very specific question, and once

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Speaker 1: they get the answer to that, they're totally fine. And

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Speaker 1: it doesn't have to go that cut and dry too deep. Um.

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Speaker 1: You know, if they're asking where do babies live, you

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Speaker 1: know they're not asking for like the whole process. You

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Speaker 1: know what's funny. I'm not afraid to speak to my

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Speaker 1: kids about sex. I'm not afraid at all. I'm just

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Speaker 1: afraid of telling them the wrong information at the wrong time.

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Speaker 1: That's really what I feel like. I have I talked

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Speaker 1: about everything to everybody, so speaking to my kids about

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Speaker 1: sex is not really taboo to me. But I think

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Speaker 1: it's just the idea of my children eventually having sex

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Speaker 1: one day. I don't think it's a talk, but I'm

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Speaker 1: just like, oh my god, these little penises that my

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Speaker 1: body grew. Eventually they're going to hear this that they

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Speaker 1: can't do that to them. I like grew these little

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Speaker 1: people with penises and then eventually they're going to be

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Speaker 1: like out there having sex. Like that just makes me

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Speaker 1: shook to the course, Well, let's dial it back on it.

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Speaker 1: Tell us how you got involved in sex education, because

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Speaker 1: clearly there's a market for that, it's very important. UM.

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Speaker 1: So how did you get involved with it? Um? And

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Speaker 1: why is it so important for you to talk about

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Speaker 1: it um openly? I definitely fell into it. UM. I

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Speaker 1: am a part of a church organization that created a

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Speaker 1: sexual health curriculum, I mean like decades ago. Um. And

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Speaker 1: so then in two thousand and fifteen, California announced that

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Speaker 1: they were going to have to push sex said through

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Speaker 1: through schools right like from elementary school all the way

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Speaker 1: to high school. UM. And awesome co founder and who's

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Speaker 1: the e D right now of UM more than sex

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Speaker 1: said she, Jill Herbertson, was actually really excited about being

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Speaker 1: able to bring this curriculum that usually it is only

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Speaker 1: given to privileged white people in these liberal churches, and

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Speaker 1: push it out and make it more secular so that

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Speaker 1: it can go out to schools across l A which

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Speaker 1: is much more diverse than what usually you get in

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Speaker 1: a Unitarian church. And so because we were already working together, UM,

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Speaker 1: I had already been trained on this specific program, this curriculum.

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Speaker 1: It's called Our Whole Lives UM, and we call it OWL.

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Speaker 1: So if I say OWL again, that's what I'm talking about,

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Speaker 1: the curriculum UM. And so at that point we thought, well,

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Speaker 1: how do we get this from our small little section

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Speaker 1: to out into the cosmos because what people need it?

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Speaker 1: And that's where it UM. When we spoke to Melissa

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Speaker 1: Fredericks UM Melissa well ms keV on stage, she talked

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Speaker 1: about how she grew up in a very religious, strict

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Speaker 1: religious background, and sex was so shaming that she felt

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Speaker 1: like a deviant when she had questions, and and she

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Speaker 1: grew up not knowing a lot about her body and

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Speaker 1: about sex and didn't know how to even be a

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Speaker 1: wife because she was still learning herself. Do you find that,

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Speaker 1: you know, giving this information to young people, especially in

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Speaker 1: the child environment, is helping them? I do. Yeah. It

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Speaker 1: gives people. It gives children a confidence in who they

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Speaker 1: are because they can sort of work from the inside out.

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Speaker 1: I guess you can think of it, UM and to

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Speaker 1: understand like, oh, my body does this and it's not

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Speaker 1: scary or gross. Or right, you know, we have all

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Speaker 1: of these questions, um, and you're so afraid to ask

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Speaker 1: anybody whether this is normal, that you sort of just

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Speaker 1: sit in that silence, and it's a heavy silence, UM

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Speaker 1: that can go on for years. Or if it's not silence,

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Speaker 1: it's maybe going to the wrong parties and maybe not

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Speaker 1: getting the right information, or someone who just may not

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Speaker 1: know or just may not have their best interest at heart. Right.

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Speaker 1: I mean, most people talk to the people in their

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Speaker 1: own age group. So high school kid is going to

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Speaker 1: talk to another high school kids they don't have all

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Speaker 1: the right information, then for sure, where are you going

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Speaker 1: to go from there? Right? No, exactly. That's one thing,

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Speaker 1: my bad baby. That's one thing that I've learned mentoring

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Speaker 1: young men, um Like for the last ten years, I

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Speaker 1: mentor like hundreds of young men through Brooklyn through our

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Speaker 1: sports performance program. But it was always a topic of

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Speaker 1: sex education, drugs, and alcohol. And what I have learned

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Speaker 1: over the last ten years that the people they deemed

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Speaker 1: to be deviant are people who lack knowledge and didn't

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Speaker 1: have a safe space to talk about the things that

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Speaker 1: they were wondering about, so they just tried things whenever

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Speaker 1: they had a chance to, and then people labeled them

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Speaker 1: as deviance. And then once they got labeled as deviant,

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Speaker 1: they just existed in that label and said, well, I'm

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Speaker 1: just bad because I'm bad, so I might as well

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Speaker 1: be bad. So it's funny to hear you talk about

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Speaker 1: giving people as information. I think it may be smarter

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Speaker 1: if we give our kids information earlier. Just like with

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Speaker 1: the whole alcohol thing. My dad let me sip bear

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Speaker 1: when I was young, So because I had access to

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Speaker 1: do it and my father to leave wasn't like don't

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Speaker 1: don't do it. I really had no need to go

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Speaker 1: out and become, you know, a secret closet drinker because

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Speaker 1: I knew I could sit it right there with my dad.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's kind of the same, so it

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Speaker 1: takes away the mystique around it, like oh my god,

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Speaker 1: it stops being mysterious, and it also turns into something

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Speaker 1: that is part of your common knowledge. Right Like if

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Speaker 1: you start early and you talk to your kids about

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Speaker 1: their bodies and then you talk to them about what

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Speaker 1: their bodies are going to do and what that looks

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Speaker 1: like over time, then it doesn't become some secret thing

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Speaker 1: that happens all of a sudden when you're twelve for sure.

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Speaker 1: Let's go back to your story with your dad and

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Speaker 1: your uncle and where that kind of left you with,

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Speaker 1: you know, your knowledge about sex, Like where did you

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Speaker 1: go to after that to then find out about it? Um? Well, well,

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Speaker 1: at least at this point, I knew that I had

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Speaker 1: to wear a condom because my uncle had My uncle

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Speaker 1: had his first daughter, my cousin, Porscha, out of wedlock,

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Speaker 1: and he made it very clear to me that if

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Speaker 1: you if you want to raise a family the right way,

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Speaker 1: you should be married and have a child. So he

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Speaker 1: made that clear. My dad made that clear. So I

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Speaker 1: knew that condoms was a way to help prevent that.

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Speaker 1: Um watching porn, you know, you you find out where

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Speaker 1: the porn channels are, and you try to figure out

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Speaker 1: what I gotta do. And I'm speaking to older, older

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Speaker 1: people on my block, my older cousins, people that I

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Speaker 1: looked up to that were a couple of years older

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Speaker 1: than me. I was a freshman in high school, and

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Speaker 1: when I got to high school, that's when it was

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Speaker 1: like middle school was when everybody was touching and doing stuff.

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Speaker 1: Middle school right high schools, and people was like now

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Speaker 1: I'm having sex, So now I'm fourteen, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I gotta find out how to do this. So like

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Speaker 1: where does it go? You know. So I'm a freshman

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Speaker 1: and I'm asking seniors because I played sports. I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: so I'm going to boust to team. He's on the

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Speaker 1: basketball team. Him and his girlfriend talk about sex, you know,

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Speaker 1: I asked him pull him side, like so, you know,

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Speaker 1: I never had sex before, Like what I what I

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Speaker 1: gotta do? And though they'll you know, like, oh, you

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Speaker 1: never had sex, and then they'll clown you forever. First

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Speaker 1: they clown you for at least two years. They call

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Speaker 1: you a virgin every day until you tell them that

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Speaker 1: you had sex, improved that you had sex. But um,

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Speaker 1: that's how I found out. It was old older dude

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Speaker 1: in my school. Yeah, very similar, Yeah, very similar. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the porn you know, older cousins. I remember one my

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Speaker 1: cousins saying like, if you're ever going to do it,

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Speaker 1: just make sure that he wears a condom. That was

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Speaker 1: like the biggest thing. So I remember the whole banana

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Speaker 1: and condom thing. I see that in like movies and

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Speaker 1: it's everywhere, like just you know the accuracy of like

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Speaker 1: the shape of the anatomy and whatnot. They come in

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Speaker 1: different sizes. Is these bananas, but more or less you

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Speaker 1: have an idea of how to put them on. So

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Speaker 1: that was like the main thing. UM. So you talk

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Speaker 1: about sex education Antoinette and like, UM, the schools and

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Speaker 1: at home? How important is it? Like do you ever

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Speaker 1: see a disconnecting that when you do speak to children,

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Speaker 1: you know, even in the church setting or something like

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Speaker 1: maybe they don't speak about it at home, but it's

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Speaker 1: offered in church. Like where do you think are the

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Speaker 1: appropriate spaces for that? UM? We hope that all of

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Speaker 1: the spaces are inclusive enough to let kids say what

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Speaker 1: they want and you know, always UM try and have

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Speaker 1: at least one adult that they feel like they can

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Speaker 1: come to and content to UM and feel safe around.

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Speaker 1: I find that if kids don't really have that connection

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Speaker 1: at home to open up, they won't feel comfortable with

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Speaker 1: that connection at school either UM or even you know, extracurriculars.

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Speaker 1: My kids are in girl Scouts. I have girls, and

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Speaker 1: so we find that that's also a space where a

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Speaker 1: lot of the knowledge isn't there. And so then the

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Speaker 1: parents are like, oh, I don't know if I want

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Speaker 1: to talk about this now, and you know, if you're

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Speaker 1: watching your kids girls and you're like, well, we got

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Speaker 1: to talk about this sometimes, right, So but ultimately it's

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Speaker 1: important to start feel letting feeling comfortable at home so

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Speaker 1: they can feel comfortable somewhere else. And that's what we

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Speaker 1: always talk about. I want my children to feel comfortable

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Speaker 1: talking to me about anything, even if they don't talk

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Speaker 1: to me about sex. If they feel comfortable speaking to me,

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Speaker 1: and I know that they're speaking to someone responsible, at

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Speaker 1: least they're open talking about it. So that's the first thing.

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Speaker 1: We have to make the kids feel comfortable. So you

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Speaker 1: can't just scream at them all the time. Stuff. Well, no,

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Speaker 1: I get it, I trust me. We we worked on

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Speaker 1: that in a previous episode about me. But I'll be trying, guys,

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Speaker 1: I try, but I know where to come to sex.

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Speaker 1: I don't want you to make the boys feel uncomfortable. No,

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Speaker 1: no, no no, that that's that's a topic that I think

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Speaker 1: I can be like that with you and Twing an

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Speaker 1: end of out in the Space and y'all in the

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Speaker 1: podcast universe. But when it comes to know my boys,

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Speaker 1: I definitely want that to be a thing. And like

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Speaker 1: you said, knowing when to introduce certain things, So like,

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Speaker 1: that's gonna be something important for us because knowing that

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Speaker 1: we have three boys different ages, you have two girls,

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Speaker 1: you know, making sure that we're not over answering, but

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Speaker 1: at the same time to we're giving the appropriate information

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Speaker 1: at the right time. Can I play Devil's advocate? I

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Speaker 1: would like to introduce my boys to certain things before

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Speaker 1: they get another answer from somebody else. You know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, your own children's maturity level two and what

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Speaker 1: they can handle. But what I'm saying is is I

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Speaker 1: don't want for them to ask me a question before

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Speaker 1: I give them some information, because they may never ask

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Speaker 1: the question and they may get the information from somebody else.

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Speaker 1: What do you think about that? I think if you

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Speaker 1: give if you have a really nice foundation, right like

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Speaker 1: if I'm on board with when your kids understand their

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Speaker 1: body parts, having the correct names for it, right, and

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Speaker 1: then you move that to consent, and you know who

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Speaker 1: is allowed to touch you in what places, right like

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Speaker 1: you sell have to change diapers, who's allowed to see you,

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Speaker 1: what the doctors, And that is a precursor to how

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Speaker 1: people interact when they have to deal with sexual context

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Speaker 1: and content and like that. And so I still find

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Speaker 1: that a lot of parents want to get it out

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Speaker 1: out real quick because they're like, oh, you're we're talking

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Speaker 1: about it, let's talk about it. And what the kids

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Speaker 1: are really talking about or really asking, is oh I

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Speaker 1: had an idea about this one specific thing. Is it

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Speaker 1: this thing? You know? They're looking they're looking to find

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Speaker 1: out whether their own feelings are validated. And so sometimes

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Speaker 1: when we want to have those really tough conversations really

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Speaker 1: quickly or too soon, it's not going to go anywhere anyway,

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Speaker 1: because they're not going to have enough of the context

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Speaker 1: to to really take it in. What you want to

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Speaker 1: talk about now? For sure? Is there like a book

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Speaker 1: or something that I could like slide and introduced them,

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Speaker 1: because so many they I mean once that I had

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Speaker 1: for my kids and it was a little too soon,

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Speaker 1: but it might be good for your ten year old.

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Speaker 1: So I have a just turned six and an eight

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Speaker 1: and a half year old. So we have an eight

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Speaker 1: and a half. Well, Jackson will be nine in April, yeah,

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Speaker 1: might will be nine. Yeah. Um my kids are super

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Speaker 1: obsessed right now with baby babies and people having babies.

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Speaker 1: I do not want to have more babies. So they

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Speaker 1: keep asking, oh, yeah, you like the same person. No,

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Speaker 1: they keep asking let's and I'm like no, I'm I'm good. Um.

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Speaker 1: But so we read a lot of these stories that

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Speaker 1: are like, let's make a baby, and what's in there.

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00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:01,480
Speaker 1: It's about a family having another baby, and it talks

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Speaker 1: about like the different gestational periods and different to which

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Speaker 1: a baby actually gets there, which starts with sex. Most

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Speaker 1: books at this age so do not start with sex.

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Speaker 1: They start with, hey, they need an egg and its firm.

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Speaker 1: Babies happen, but we don't know how to get We

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Speaker 1: don't know how to get you. Then they save that

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Speaker 1: for maybe like the eleven and twelve year olds maybe exactly,

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Speaker 1: and so there's get more complex. There is a book

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Speaker 1: called Let's Talk about Sex. It's really awesome. It's drawn,

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Speaker 1: and so it's age appropriate for I want to say,

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Speaker 1: ten thirteen and that sort of middle school like upper elementary,

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Speaker 1: lower middle school age UM, where they're able to get

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Speaker 1: these sorts of informations like oh, I feel this way

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Speaker 1: and these are the body parts I have and this

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Speaker 1: is how babies get where they get, you know, And

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Speaker 1: so there are different stages and I think if you

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Speaker 1: start early, um, you can work on this. My my

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Speaker 1: mom was the same I got a book, but start

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Speaker 1: with the book for your three year old, right, and

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Speaker 1: then of course have them read the books and then

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Speaker 1: they'll ask you questions and you answer the questions asking,

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Speaker 1: and then you continue that as they get a little

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Speaker 1: bit older. So now let's get to the teenage years. Okay, teenagers,

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Speaker 1: but really four teenagers because I want you touched on

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Speaker 1: it just a bit, and I wanted to say, like,

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Speaker 1: you're the mother of two girls, we have the three boys.

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Speaker 1: So the conversation about consent is extremely important to our

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Speaker 1: children's future because consent is everything that's kind of the

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Speaker 1: root of it. So it's like, Okay, we know the

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Speaker 1: body parts, we know their differences, and then consent is next.

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Speaker 1: So how do we start to instill um our idea

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Speaker 1: of consent or the idea of consent as an essential

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Speaker 1: value for them so that it becomes second nature. So

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Speaker 1: the way that we do it at home is we

400
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Speaker 1: do consent with everything. So it's not just about sex

401
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Speaker 1: or sex done it holes or body parts or whatever,

402
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 1: but it's about everything, right, Like, oh, your sister doesn't

403
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Speaker 1: want to be touched. She's saying no about her body,

404
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 1: and I feel like that's one of the really standard ones.

405
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:13,639
Speaker 1: I'm saying no about my body in any way and

406
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Speaker 1: teaching boundaries and teaching boundaries yourself. Yeah, and so then

407
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,399
Speaker 1: that will extend to everything that they do. And I

408
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 1: feel like that's one of the ways that we normalize sex,

409
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Speaker 1: head that we normalize talking about sex, because we take

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Speaker 1: consent to mean everything. Hey, you're drinking out my water glass.

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Speaker 1: I'm saying no about my water glass possession in that, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah. I think that's huge because we often

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Speaker 1: talk about molestation in our communities and how easy it

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Speaker 1: is for a child to feel like they have to

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Speaker 1: have I have to allow an older person access to

416
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Speaker 1: their body. You know how you start with consent growing up, right?

417
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Speaker 1: You know how your parents say, hey, give someone so

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Speaker 1: a hug, and if you don't feel like giving him

419
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 1: a like, did not tell you to allow your kids

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Speaker 1: to not want to give people hugs young so they

421
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Speaker 1: can feel like they own their body. This way, when

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Speaker 1: an adult says you're supposed to do X, y Z

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Speaker 1: to me, you could be like, no, I don't have to.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's a very It's not a matter

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Speaker 1: of being rude either. They just made you know what

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Speaker 1: this challenge in this moment, does not want to hug

427
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,680
Speaker 1: you because they have their own reasons for not wanting to,

428
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 1: you know, and sometimes children that they have tell tales,

429
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,000
Speaker 1: you know, are their own. They something could puts potentially

430
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 1: be happening with an adult that they don't feel comfortable with.

431
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: You know, in the previous times, they may have had

432
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:31,399
Speaker 1: to give hugs and now they don't want to give

433
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 1: hugs for whatever their reason is. So and I think

434
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 1: I think that's like a societal issue where we allow

435
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:40,479
Speaker 1: adults access to our children too easily by just forcing

436
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: them to do things that they don't want to do.

437
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 1: And if we can start by stopping that, I think

438
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 1: that's that's the best thing we can do to protect

439
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,640
Speaker 1: our children, because I know I definitely I'm not doing

440
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 1: that with we don't do the hugs, sitting on laps

441
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 1: like that whole thing is Yeah, if you don't want to,

442
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 1: then that's that's the mood he's in. And that's amazing

443
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 1: because that's one of the first parts to consent is

444
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 1: feeling like you have autonomy over your own person who

445
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 1: and feeling like you can say no, this makes me uncomfortable.

446
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,440
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave um, I don't want to

447
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 1: sit here. Um, And those will help a you know,

448
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 1: if a five year old can do it, you know,

449
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 1: think of how how amazing they may feel when something

450
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,360
Speaker 1: is wrong in their fifteen and they want to say, hey,

451
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 1: I don't like this and I wanted this to stop. Um. No, absolutely,

452
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 1: it's amazing when you have your own kids, how differently

453
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 1: you look at the world. Oh for sure, that didn't

454
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: seem like a big deal. It's like, oh wow, there's

455
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 1: an actual life now you understand. Especially, you know, if

456
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say if, because I don't want to act

457
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,199
Speaker 1: like I have autonomy over your body. But if I

458
00:24:50,240 --> 00:25:00,040
Speaker 1: have a daughter, right, baby taught me okay, so to

459
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:05,439
Speaker 1: that can pay your bills? Now, Um, she didn't come

460
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 1: here for that kind of work. I mean, you put

461
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 1: it on into that she ain't come for all that

462
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 1: she ain't go for the ax bill. But if I

463
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,640
Speaker 1: have a daughter, the first thing I will teach her

464
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,359
Speaker 1: is her right to say no to anybody or anything,

465
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 1: because historically we have often made women feel as if

466
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,639
Speaker 1: they're acting strange when they don't want to smile or

467
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,919
Speaker 1: let someone be around them. And I remember seeing this

468
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 1: as a young as a young person, you know, Smile

469
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,160
Speaker 1: your young lady, be happy, smile, give hugs. And then

470
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 1: the slight thing, I gotta smile and give hugs all

471
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:40,440
Speaker 1: the time. That leads to other things. And now that

472
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 1: I have kids, and I always said to myself, when

473
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 1: I have my daughter, I'm not making my and it

474
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,439
Speaker 1: wasn't until I had Jackson, who was a boy, and

475
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 1: I remember trying to tell Jackson to say it, what's

476
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 1: up to people? And Jackson didn't want to give fives

477
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 1: at first, and I was kind of like, you don't

478
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 1: gotta give you a fies. Then I started thinking, like, yo,

479
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,920
Speaker 1: if I had a daughter, when I tell my daughter

480
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 1: to smile and give us and I'm like, no, I wouldn't.

481
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 1: And it's crazy how your kids change your perspective on

482
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 1: the whole world. And now I look at people different,

483
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,360
Speaker 1: Like if I don't look at someone who doesn't hug,

484
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 1: is weird no more? You know? And before I'm like,

485
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 1: they don't give hugs, they're weird. Now usually if you

486
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 1: meet someone and you go to hug them, they would like,

487
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 1: I'm a hugger. It's all good, you know. And I'll

488
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 1: say that sometimes because I'll go to hug someone naturally,

489
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,640
Speaker 1: and then if they're just not a hugger, maybe they'll

490
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:20,439
Speaker 1: send the hand and I don't take offense. You know,

491
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 1: I moved to l A. I had to change that

492
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:27,119
Speaker 1: to be like hugs or handshakes because people aren't. Do

493
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:29,160
Speaker 1: you think we should do that with our kids? We should,

494
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 1: because I know I grab my kids, not kiss my

495
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:34,200
Speaker 1: kids like I grab. Do you know it's really funny

496
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:36,639
Speaker 1: I do, and I'll ask them like, hey, can I

497
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 1: give you hugs? I mean it's not as often as

498
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 1: I probably should um, but I find that they do

499
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,199
Speaker 1: the same. So my oldest will come up to me

500
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,679
Speaker 1: and be like, hey, Mom, I'm feeling sad or I

501
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,119
Speaker 1: want some attention. Can I have a hug please? And

502
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 1: that helps cut down on the running into my body

503
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 1: tackle at the knees, yeah, or something else to my

504
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 1: attention to tackle at the knees. You know how they

505
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 1: say kids don't understand per s space. If you not forced,

506
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 1: but allow your kids to ask permission to give you,

507
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,399
Speaker 1: as a parent, a hug, they'll understand personal space with

508
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,160
Speaker 1: strangers and other people. Because I've met some people kids

509
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,119
Speaker 1: who have been right here and I wanted to be

510
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 1: liked my six year old is not personal space, right,

511
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 1: So you have to meet somebody's kids that you're like, yo,

512
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,119
Speaker 1: this this kid like licked my face and their parents

513
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 1: didn't say nothing. I think that I think that we

514
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 1: should we should start to apply that, you know, you know,

515
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,679
Speaker 1: like yo, ask that for a hug first, And it

516
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 1: seems so impersonal when it's your kids, but it's also

517
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,919
Speaker 1: preparing them for society in life. And it also prepares

518
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 1: them for for sexual intercourse with people asking for permission,

519
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 1: seeking permission, and then giving permission. I never thought about that,

520
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:48,880
Speaker 1: so just now, so it's fast forward like you wanted

521
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: to the teenage years. So UM, we're looking at an

522
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 1: article by USC's Nursing School. This is two thousand and sixteen,

523
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 1: so so not to date, so dated, but it did

524
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 1: say that the United States has higher rates of team

525
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 1: park and SEE and sexually transmitted diseases than most other

526
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 1: industrialized country countries UM. And this seems to be UM

527
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 1: because of the lack of sex education in schools. UM.

528
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 1: The US requires sex education in grades six, seven, seven

529
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 1: through twelve, UM, when other nations require it to be

530
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:26,439
Speaker 1: discussed as early as kindergarten. Then another survey that was

531
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 1: done on This is data from the National Survey of

532
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:32,160
Speaker 1: Family Growth. Female teenagers are more likely than male teenagers

533
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 1: to first report receiving instructions on birth control in high school.

534
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 1: So I guess that would make sense because females have

535
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 1: the you know exactly, Um, Younger female teenagers are more

536
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 1: likely than younger male teenagers to have talked to their

537
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 1: parents about sex and birth control. Nearly two out of

538
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 1: three female teenagers talked to their parents about how to

539
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 1: say no to sex, compared to one out of five

540
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 1: male teens two out of five male teenagers. Wow. So

541
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:03,120
Speaker 1: interesting stuff there, Um, So how does it happen with

542
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 1: the teenagers who kind of don't know? Um, you know,

543
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 1: there's levels to experiences at that point, UM, what in

544
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 1: your experience have you have you what in your experience

545
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 1: have you realized with teenagers when it comes to sex

546
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: and education. What more than sex ays does is that

547
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 1: we have classes for teens, and so we get to facilitators,

548
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 1: usually male and female facilitators, so we can kind of

549
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: have that dynamic, um, and then we allow the teens

550
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: to be able to talk to each other and talk

551
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 1: openly to the facilitators and ask questions. We allow them

552
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 1: to ask questions anonymously in a question box, and so

553
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 1: those questions get answered at the next session. Um, And

554
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 1: so that way you don't have to feel sort of

555
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 1: weird about wondering if a thing is normal. But we

556
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 1: find that when teenagers are able to have these conversations

557
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 1: with other teenagers present, they're much more open and engaged

558
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 1: to being a part of the conversation. Yeah, what I'm

559
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 1: what I'm realizing just listening to you is that ultimately

560
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 1: it starts at home and we as parents, because every

561
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: child has a parent, you know, nobody doesn't unless they're

562
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 1: an orphan when they don't. But as adults, if you

563
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: have control over a child, not control, but if you're parenting,

564
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 1: there are certain things you should learn about how to

565
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:28,560
Speaker 1: educate your teenagers before even going into these environments so

566
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: that they can receive the information even unlearning as a parent.

567
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 1: Because you think about us as adults, we come with

568
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 1: some sort of sexual baggage to say, or own sexual

569
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,719
Speaker 1: experiences that then may impact how we speak to our

570
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: children and working to our children. So how can parents

571
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 1: unlearn their own shame or their own personal sexual past

572
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 1: and talk about sex and engage in healthy conversations with

573
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 1: their kids. I think it's probably doing the research being

574
00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:00,040
Speaker 1: able to understand what you're missing out on if you,

575
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 1: as an adult don't even know how your own body works, um,

576
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 1: because you can't really explain that right. My my eight

577
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 1: year old is obsessed with the word puberty right now.

578
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 1: She has no idea what it means. She thinks it's

579
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 1: a thing that happens to you and it's funny and

580
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: it's goofy. But at first my husband was like, oh, no,

581
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:26,239
Speaker 1: do we have to talk about puberty? And I was like, no,

582
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 1: she didn't want to hear about it. She just wants

583
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 1: to say the word the word it's funny. And so

584
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 1: when we get caught up in our own like baggage,

585
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 1: as you said, then we start to dump on our

586
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 1: kids in a way that almost feels inappropriate. And so

587
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 1: I really feel like parents, if we're getting getting these

588
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 1: books to read to our children, that's one of the

589
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 1: first ways that you get all the information that you have, right,

590
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 1: you get a different book and you read um and

591
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 1: just finding out more about your own body and how

592
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: it works, how the process will work for children, so

593
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 1: that when they have questions, you can answer their questions

594
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 1: accurately and and be able to I guess give them

595
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 1: reassurance that they're not alone for sure. How would how

596
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 1: would you avoid I know you heard the whole comment

597
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 1: with t I and his daughter and what he said.

598
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 1: How do you avoid as a parent because t I

599
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 1: is not the only person who's done that, and he's

600
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 1: not He's not the only person. I know moms when

601
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 1: I was training who were that invasive. I remember moms

602
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 1: I just mentoring young men and women and they were

603
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 1: moms who are single moms and just like I take

604
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 1: her and I checked this because I want to make

605
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 1: sure And how do you prevent any person, a mom

606
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: or a dad from being that invasive? Like what steps

607
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: can they take to still be protective over their children

608
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 1: without being invasive privacy that happens because you know black parents,

609
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 1: it's really hard. I I don't know if I personally

610
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 1: could protect you know, all of these people. I would

611
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 1: love to, And the the t I comment was really

612
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:07,719
Speaker 1: really hard to deal with. And I think because there

613
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 1: are enough of us who are sort of like, hey,

614
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 1: this is this is not cool, this is not what

615
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: we're doing anymore. Um. I think the more that voices

616
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: like yours and more that people see that there's a

617
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 1: different way to do it, then we can start to

618
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 1: get this sort of out in the atmosphere, right because

619
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 1: if the only way you know how to do it is, oh,

620
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give my twelve year old a book about

621
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 1: sex when they're twelve and that's it. We'll never talk

622
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 1: about it, or you know, I don't feel comfortable talking

623
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 1: about periods and now I have to do it, and

624
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:42,479
Speaker 1: you know it's it's that continues because we don't have

625
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 1: other people going, wait a second, there's a there's another

626
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: way to do this. We can totally do this to that,

627
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: and that's what I think we need more of because

628
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 1: as much as people wanted to jump on t I

629
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:53,960
Speaker 1: for what he said, there are a lot of people

630
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: if t I wasn't involved in his daughter's sex life

631
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: and she was out there acting crazy, we've been like, well, ha,

632
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 1: fallen that there. So it's like, where do we draw

633
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 1: the line from the public lynchings of being upset at

634
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,719
Speaker 1: T I by what he's said and an understanding what

635
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:09,280
Speaker 1: he's trying to do, Like me as a dad, Ultimately,

636
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 1: if I have a daughter, I don't know what extremes

637
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 1: I will go to to protect her innocence. You know,

638
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:17,320
Speaker 1: I would rely heavily on her mom. I would because

639
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 1: she's a woman and I would trust her. But ultimately,

640
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 1: if this is the sad part, if my daughter does

641
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 1: end up going astray and does things that people don't

642
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 1: seem to be socially acceptable, the first person they're gonna

643
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: blame is me, right, So let's be honest. As much

644
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,720
Speaker 1: as we want to hate t I, people will blame

645
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 1: the dad, and any girl who doesn't do is people

646
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 1: think they say they have daddy issues. Where do we

647
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,799
Speaker 1: draw the line as far as this is appropriate, this

648
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 1: isn't appropriate with dealing with your teenage daughters. I think

649
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 1: that we put a lot of pressure on teenage girls

650
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 1: to have all the answers when I mean this is

651
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:58,920
Speaker 1: a two person events, Like if something happens you you

652
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,440
Speaker 1: have to deal with both having a teenage daughter and

653
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:04,440
Speaker 1: possibly a teenage boy by someone someone else, And so

654
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: your story of as a boy being told where the

655
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 1: condoms are and like that being the extent of it.

656
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 1: I remember as the same as my brother, But like

657
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 1: I got like books, right, I got a whole education

658
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 1: on what was supposed to be happening and what was

659
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,439
Speaker 1: down and how it all worked in a much more

660
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:29,320
Speaker 1: comprehensive way, and not necessarily in a more open way,

661
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 1: but definitely the responsibility was said on me for sure

662
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 1: that I don't get myself pregnant. I kind of feel like, yeah,

663
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: I feel you want that, because it was the same thing.

664
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 1: It was like, well, this is what you do to

665
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,719
Speaker 1: take control of your body. And I think that's why

666
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,920
Speaker 1: probably to most females are on birth control early, like

667
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 1: I have. I know a couple people who have said

668
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:53,399
Speaker 1: that their teenage daughters they just put them on birth

669
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:57,399
Speaker 1: control because it's like, Okay, it'll help with like, yeah,

670
00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:01,880
Speaker 1: it'll help with like menstruation and regulating the period cycled yadi, yadi, YadA.

671
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,720
Speaker 1: But also too, it's like just in case God forbid,

672
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 1: my daughter is not going to be getting pregnant for nobody.

673
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 1: But you know what's crazy though, you know how and

674
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,839
Speaker 1: this is how asked backwards that may work. A girl says,

675
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,239
Speaker 1: I'm on birth control so I can have sex on

676
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 1: protected because I'm not gonna get pregnant, you know, like

677
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 1: peoples s T I S. And I remember in high school.

678
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 1: I remember in high school there was a couple of

679
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: girls who on birth control and their boyfriends like, we

680
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,840
Speaker 1: only need to use a condom. She on birth control,

681
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 1: and I was like, I was like, dang, Like, you know,

682
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 1: I didn't understand what birth control was at the age.

683
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 1: But now when I think about those comments, and I'm

684
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 1: just like, so, you put your daughter on birth control

685
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 1: so she don't get pregnant, but you're not protecting her

686
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 1: from having unprotected sex with this guy who is having

687
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 1: sex with other people. You know what I'm saying, Like,

688
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:50,160
Speaker 1: we're doing half the work, right, We're giving only just

689
00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 1: the information we want to give, and then we're leaving

690
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:58,399
Speaker 1: out some factual um information that keeps everybody safe for sure,

691
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 1: for sure. So we talked about teenage girls. Ultimately, I'm

692
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:07,799
Speaker 1: going to have three teenage boys, right, And I'm not

693
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:12,240
Speaker 1: worried about the consent things so much because my father

694
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 1: was very straightforward with me. The minute she says no,

695
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 1: it means you know, the minute she says stop, it

696
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 1: means stop. Because there was the whole thing about what

697
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 1: if a girl says stop, but she really wants you

698
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: to keep going with My father was like, if she

699
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 1: wants you to keep going, she would said keep going,

700
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,479
Speaker 1: she says stop, then you stop. So I'm not worried

701
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:37,280
Speaker 1: about that aspect of it. I'm worried about how to

702
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 1: make them be educated. Trying to figure out how to

703
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 1: say this. I want to educate them, but I don't

704
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 1: want to over educate them. But they need to be

705
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:51,280
Speaker 1: educated and over educated. Do you get what I'm saying?

706
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 1: Because boys, boys need to be educated, and we put

707
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 1: a lot of owners on the girls, but boys need

708
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 1: to be educated. And it's like, I don't want to

709
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,319
Speaker 1: to overgive them, overgive them, but I'm I do not

710
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 1: want to leave it to anybody else. I do not.

711
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 1: I I am afraid because I have a couple of

712
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 1: boys who I think are very manipulative, and they'll figure

713
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:11,840
Speaker 1: out who they can ask certain things. They'll be like,

714
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 1: I'm not asking Dad this, so I'll ask who I

715
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:17,600
Speaker 1: want to get the answer from. How do I avoid

716
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 1: that without tainting them? You know what I mean? But

717
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 1: I think the consent thing is is the best place

718
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 1: to go, right, Like it's you start with, when someone

719
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:32,480
Speaker 1: says no, it means no. When someone says maybe, that

720
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 1: also probably means right. So one of the things I

721
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 1: think that we try to do is we want to

722
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 1: have all the answers, but it's actually really nice to

723
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 1: be able to let your kids feel safe with other adults. So,

724
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 1: if you have another adult in your family or in

725
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,360
Speaker 1: your community that you would feel safe with your children,

726
00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 1: going to let them know. And that way they won't

727
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 1: get the misinformation, right, they won't find it out from

728
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 1: one of their friends, or they won't find it out

729
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 1: from a dirty magazine. I don't know do dirty magazine?

730
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 1: Do you exist? So? I mean, do comes? But a

731
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 1: good way to take some of the pressure off of

732
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 1: you is to literally take the pressure off of you.

733
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 1: Tell your children, I trust this other adult. I trust

734
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 1: this person in my community. If you have questions that

735
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 1: you are uncomfortable asking me, go ask them, and then

736
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:33,439
Speaker 1: you have conversations with that adult. Right, you make sure

737
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 1: that that adult and you have a rapport that you

738
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 1: guys feel comfortable with the same information. UM make it

739
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 1: so that you build a community of people that your

740
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 1: children can trust. Absolutely. I definitely, I definitely understand you, guys.

741
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 1: But I also I'm a boy, and I was a

742
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,480
Speaker 1: fifteen year old boy, and anytime somebody gave me a

743
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 1: list of people that I could speak to, I speak

744
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 1: to none of them. I was like anybody who my

745
00:39:56,920 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 1: parents told me I could speak to, because my has

746
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 1: already got to them. I needed to find different. You

747
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 1: guys are different. I am different than my kids, but

748
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: I know boys like mentoring. All these boys they like

749
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,840
Speaker 1: they don't want to be anywhere near their parents, and

750
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 1: I'm trying to find a way to kind of sneak

751
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 1: the information to them, you know, without I think we'll

752
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,400
Speaker 1: figure it out. So I'm trying to figure out, hopefully

753
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:26,000
Speaker 1: gravitate towards by the time boys need this, then they'll

754
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,359
Speaker 1: be this organization more than sex said, where they can take,

755
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:33,879
Speaker 1: you know, six weeks of healthy sexual education with other

756
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 1: people that are their same age boys and girls. They

757
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 1: can ask their questions, they can feel confident in the

758
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,319
Speaker 1: work that they're doing. So you may have to opt

759
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 1: into that. I mean we could, but I've setten the

760
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 1: sex and classes when I was fifteen before, and all

761
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:59,359
Speaker 1: that heard was vagina, vagina, That's what I'm married. But

762
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 1: I can also imagine for you, just as we kind

763
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 1: of wrap things up, we can touch on it um

764
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 1: how complex sex education is now because you know, we're

765
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 1: talking about gender identity, UM identifying in different ways so

766
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 1: how do you, um, so talk to me a little

767
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:20,359
Speaker 1: bit about gender expression? And I guess that's it's sex

768
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 1: and sex educator. Um. Do you think this is an

769
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 1: appropriate age to start allowing you children to express their

770
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 1: gender in certain ways or any kind of obstacles that

771
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 1: you found when it comes to children, um, deciding or

772
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 1: vocalizing I should say, their sexual orientation. UM. I've come

773
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 1: to see that most of the obstacles when kids have

774
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:43,400
Speaker 1: difference of opinion about that that's different than like the

775
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:49,600
Speaker 1: heteronormative like straight gender expression is actually other kids, other

776
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: kids and maybe sometimes other adults that are like, oh no, no, no,

777
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:55,879
Speaker 1: you're totally not that thing that you think you are

778
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,960
Speaker 1: because you're too young. Um. And we never say that

779
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,839
Speaker 1: to kids you think are straight, right, like ever, right,

780
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 1: Like a five year old looks at a pretty woman,

781
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 1: like an adult woman and goes, oh, she's pretty. We're like, yes,

782
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 1: she is, isn't she? But if a five year old

783
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 1: girl did that, we would be like, uh no, that's

784
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 1: not how you feel about that. Um. And So I

785
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:15,440
Speaker 1: think that one of the things that we can do

786
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,880
Speaker 1: is to let kids express themselves in the way they

787
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:22,399
Speaker 1: want to without trying to take that away from them

788
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 1: almost immediately because it'll happen right right, Um. And the

789
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 1: other thing is to listen to them because I mean,

790
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 1: gender expression and gender identity we're still sort of figuring

791
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,319
Speaker 1: out how we all fit into that, right. So so

792
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:48,840
Speaker 1: even if you identify completely as straight um and CIS

793
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 1: are like says gender, you're still within the gender spectrum

794
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 1: and we try to negate that for some reason and

795
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 1: just say, oh, that person is trans so that they're

796
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 1: the gender spectrum or that person and is by or

797
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 1: that person's case, and they're you know, the only people

798
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 1: talking about sexuality where we're all in it together. And

799
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,280
Speaker 1: I think that if we give that to our kids,

800
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 1: because I mean, if you've talked to middle and high

801
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:15,920
Speaker 1: school kids today, they're fine, Like they know I was

802
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 1: gonna be honest about they know, like they're they're and

803
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 1: they're in it, and they're comfortable with it. They're comfortable

804
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 1: with different pronouns, they're comfortable with, you know, wearing whatever

805
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 1: they want and identifying however they want. It's really mostly adults.

806
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 1: I think we missed kids that are first are giving

807
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,359
Speaker 1: them all these ideas and no, no, no, you're too

808
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:37,840
Speaker 1: young and don't wait it out and they know, you

809
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 1: know what's funny, right, And it's the funny thing. The

810
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 1: funny thing I think about gender and sexuality, Right, we

811
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:47,239
Speaker 1: as adults now want to put labels on everything and everybody, right,

812
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 1: so we start messing people's head up. If you're a boy,

813
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,759
Speaker 1: you shouldn't wear and I've heard men, I've heard minutes

814
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 1: it is. If you're a boy, shouldn't wear tight pants,

815
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 1: Your boy, you can't wear wigs. If your boy, you

816
00:43:57,040 --> 00:44:00,320
Speaker 1: shouldn't wear outliner. Right, But that's saying man idolizes prince.

817
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 1: And think about the irony and that prince in this

818
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:08,240
Speaker 1: day and age would be considered a free quote unquote

819
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 1: to all of these headero males who idolized him for

820
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 1: being himself. And the prince loved women. So think about that, Like,

821
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 1: we put all these labels on kids from young instead

822
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:22,799
Speaker 1: of allowing them to be who they want to be.

823
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 1: And then once we put the label on them, we

824
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:27,279
Speaker 1: tell them what they can they can't do, but then

825
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 1: idolized people who we if we, if they were young,

826
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 1: would have labeled them something different. I feel like adults

827
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 1: need to kind of chill out when it comes to

828
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:37,880
Speaker 1: kids and let a kid just be a kid. I

829
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,439
Speaker 1: just let a kid be a kid. And like you said,

830
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,319
Speaker 1: they get to middle school, high school, they're gonna figure

831
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:44,879
Speaker 1: that out, especially with gender, because even as adults were

832
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 1: still trying to figure out what the gender spectrum is?

833
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:49,359
Speaker 1: How do we label young babies when we don't know

834
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 1: what the gender spectrum is because we're trying to figure

835
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 1: it out. To me, it seems like we're working as backwards.

836
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 1: Like I feel like we're trying so hard to figure

837
00:44:56,520 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 1: something out that's so abstract that we're we're working backwards

838
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 1: and we're losing kids because once people labels and we

839
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: start pointing and saying don't do this and don't do that,

840
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 1: we're work. You know, we're losing trust. The kids are

841
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 1: starting to lose trust and us as adults because they

842
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: don't believe what we're saying. So when it comes to

843
00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 1: that with my kids, man, I'm just my kids gonna

844
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 1: be who they are. Nobody better come to me with

845
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 1: what my kid is because I'll fight them. I'm so serious.

846
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 1: I look at I look at I'm growing up. I

847
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:26,839
Speaker 1: loved Michael Jackson. I loved him. If you look at

848
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 1: the way I turned addressed who I turned. It was

849
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:32,440
Speaker 1: the biggest womanizer, the biggest strongest hetero sexual man. I

850
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:34,640
Speaker 1: looked at old pitches I turned, and he wore wigs,

851
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 1: he had a cut bob, he wore an eyeliner. He

852
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 1: wore tight pants with fish net shirts. Could you imagine

853
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,240
Speaker 1: what I turned? It would be called today, But people

854
00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 1: thought he was a man's man back then. It's like,

855
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 1: I think we're doing too much. Let people be kids

856
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:52,320
Speaker 1: with that. Just let kids be kids. Do you offer

857
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 1: that at more than sex said, like a complete open

858
00:45:56,920 --> 00:46:00,239
Speaker 1: safe space for children to speak about that naturally? Yes, yes,

859
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 1: children who are still trying to like figure out things sexually,

860
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:08,600
Speaker 1: depending on whatever um area they identify with. Yes, I mean,

861
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:11,319
Speaker 1: and that's why when you start early and you give

862
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,320
Speaker 1: children a place to really get all of the adult

863
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:18,440
Speaker 1: for themselves, then as it changes, you know, they can say, oh,

864
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:21,760
Speaker 1: maybe I was this and now I feel more drawn

865
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:27,799
Speaker 1: to this um without feeling like they're wrong all the time. Right.

866
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 1: It gives them space to open up and really dig

867
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:32,799
Speaker 1: deep and go, oh, well, this is this is who

868
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:34,800
Speaker 1: I am, and this is what makes me feel comfortable,

869
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:36,360
Speaker 1: this is what I would want, this is how I

870
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 1: want to be treated and It creates adults that feel

871
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 1: confident in themselves to go out and say, these are

872
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,919
Speaker 1: the kind of relationships I want. These are the kinds

873
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 1: of people I want in my life because it's all

874
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 1: about relationships, right, It's all about how we interact with

875
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 1: each other, whether that's sexual or not. Um. And when

876
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 1: we start with consent and move our way onto something

877
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 1: much more intense like sexual contact, are contact, um, then

878
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 1: we're on the right page. Right, they know where to start.

879
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 1: Sounds good, very helpful tips today, Yes, for sure. And

880
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 1: for the record, I like you in type pants. I

881
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:19,880
Speaker 1: like yeah second print. This is the second time today

882
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:23,279
Speaker 1: for the print you talked about my underwear and now

883
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 1: you're talking about Bernandez now fresh. You're a hot mess,

884
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:30,759
Speaker 1: you know. I think we need a break. We need

885
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:33,960
Speaker 1: the coolest guy off. Yeah, we're gonna take a quick break,

886
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 1: but we're going to move into listening letters after we

887
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:46,000
Speaker 1: get into some ads and stick around this. For the record,

888
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:54,320
Speaker 1: there it is. Tiger Woods is one of our most

889
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 1: inspiring sports icons. In his story, it comes with many chapters.

890
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 1: I am deeply sorry from my irresponsible and selfish behavior,

891
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:12,799
Speaker 1: but here it is. They'll return to glory. This is

892
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:16,520
Speaker 1: All American, a new series from Stitcher hosted by me

893
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 1: Jordan Bell. You realize Tiger Wiz doesn't know who he

894
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:23,239
Speaker 1: is best in the history of golf, no question in

895
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 1: my mind. And this season, with the help of journalist

896
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:32,240
Speaker 1: Albert Chen, we're asking what if the story of Tiger

897
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:35,839
Speaker 1: Woods that the media has been telling, what if it's

898
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 1: been completely wrong? All American Tiger is out now. Listen

899
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 1: in Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app. So

900
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:55,280
Speaker 1: now let's get into some listener letters. Antoinette is sticking around,

901
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 1: and um let's see what y'all hit us up within

902
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:02,880
Speaker 1: the email box real quick. All right, all right, here's

903
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,239
Speaker 1: the first one. First off, I just want to say

904
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:07,760
Speaker 1: the value truly inspire me to be a better husband

905
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 1: to my wife and father to my Son's appreciate that, man,

906
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 1: I appreciate you. Love that. I just wanted to know

907
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:16,279
Speaker 1: if you had any advice on fatherhood. I have a

908
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 1: three year old and a two week old, and I

909
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:21,799
Speaker 1: feel that, due to not having any good examples of

910
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 1: being a father, I'm unequipped to give them the tools

911
00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:29,120
Speaker 1: to be upstanding men. Any help is appreciate it. Uh,

912
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 1: what's up? Brother? First and foremost, thank you for your

913
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 1: kind words. Um, I really appreciate them. The first thing

914
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,440
Speaker 1: I would say about fatherhood is that just asking this

915
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 1: question means that you're going to be a great father.

916
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:42,359
Speaker 1: You acknowledge that you don't know everything. And one thing

917
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 1: I learned from Just Sports was that the minute you

918
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 1: think you know everything is when you have to realize

919
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 1: you know nothing. So seek as much information as you can.

920
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:53,840
Speaker 1: We talked about it a lot on this podcast. Seeking

921
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 1: information is the best way to pass information on to

922
00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:00,160
Speaker 1: your son's and for you to spend time with him,

923
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:03,719
Speaker 1: hug him, kiss him, tell them you love them, and

924
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 1: still discipline when needed, but also make sure that they

925
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:09,279
Speaker 1: know that they can trust their father for whatever they need.

926
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,840
Speaker 1: That's going to give them the confidence to be upstanding

927
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 1: young men. And it's that simple. You'll figure it out.

928
00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 1: There's no rule book, there's no you know book to

929
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 1: you know, follow these guidelines. Love them as hard as

930
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:22,839
Speaker 1: you can. UM, give them that that discipline when they

931
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 1: need it, but just let them know that they can

932
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:27,719
Speaker 1: trust their dad. Oh that's really nice. I love when

933
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:29,600
Speaker 1: the guys right in because I feel like, you know,

934
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:31,400
Speaker 1: you're a lot of our questions are normally from women,

935
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:34,360
Speaker 1: but when guys right in. But you took the words

936
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 1: right out of my mouth though this wasn't a question

937
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:37,879
Speaker 1: post to me, but I thought the same thing. I'm

938
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 1: like for him to even write in about this and say,

939
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:42,399
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't know. I haven't had those

940
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:45,920
Speaker 1: examples around, like what are some tips that already just

941
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:50,240
Speaker 1: shows me that you're going to be dad for sure?

942
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:53,959
Speaker 1: For sure? Absolutely, So thank you for that one, all right,

943
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:57,960
Speaker 1: And the second listener letter listening to your podcasts with

944
00:50:58,200 --> 00:51:00,719
Speaker 1: Mr and Mrs keV on stage and the thing Miss

945
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:03,799
Speaker 1: keV on stage said about purity really struck me. Wow,

946
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 1: we spoke with that kind of touched on that. Growing up,

947
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:08,799
Speaker 1: my parents did not talk to me about sex at

948
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:12,520
Speaker 1: all other than it's wrong and just wait till marriage.

949
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:14,919
Speaker 1: So in my mind, I just settled on the fact

950
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: that I'm okay, I'm not going to have to do

951
00:51:16,719 --> 00:51:20,040
Speaker 1: sex until I'm married. Then it changed to I'm not

952
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 1: going to have sex until I'm with someone I have

953
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:25,719
Speaker 1: a real mutual love with. Here, I am twenty seven

954
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:28,480
Speaker 1: years old and single, trying to date in a generation

955
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:30,799
Speaker 1: who only believes in tender texting and sex. On the

956
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 1: first date part of me feels like I've made way

957
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:38,800
Speaker 1: too big a deal out about purity and being a virgin.

958
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:41,839
Speaker 1: There have been times where I felt that I should

959
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 1: just do it and get it over with. Should I.

960
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 1: The older I get, the more complex I feel about

961
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:50,640
Speaker 1: the situation and how it's becoming. I feel less in

962
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 1: tune with my body as a young woman, and I'm

963
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,319
Speaker 1: starting to have increased anxiety about sharing my body with

964
00:51:55,360 --> 00:51:58,080
Speaker 1: another person. And at what point should I tell a

965
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:02,240
Speaker 1: guy that I'm a virgin? Good thing? We got, Antonine,

966
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 1: I don't even so seven just breaking down twenty seven

967
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:18,560
Speaker 1: years old. She's been taught that sex has been wrong

968
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 1: in her entire life, she needs to wait till marriage,

969
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:23,919
Speaker 1: and now she's in a society where you know, sex

970
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:26,560
Speaker 1: as casual um, and she kind of wants to know

971
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:30,640
Speaker 1: how to deal with this. Okay, Well, I personally have

972
00:52:30,719 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 1: a huge problem with the purity culture. It's very patriarchal

973
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:38,560
Speaker 1: for me in a way that women aren't allowed to

974
00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:43,280
Speaker 1: really take care of themselves. Um. And so my advice

975
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 1: would be to someone who might feel this way is

976
00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:51,680
Speaker 1: definitely get to know your own boundaries, right, Like, take

977
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:54,400
Speaker 1: away the boundaries that someone else has given you and

978
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:58,959
Speaker 1: really feel where you're where you stand, and if once

979
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,160
Speaker 1: those boundaries to take away, once you feel like, oh

980
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:03,719
Speaker 1: well this this is something that someone else cared more

981
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:06,759
Speaker 1: about than what I care about, then you really know

982
00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:09,239
Speaker 1: who you are. And then you know, maybe you might

983
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:11,360
Speaker 1: want to have sex, maybe you don't want to have sex,

984
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:15,200
Speaker 1: and that's fine, being more taking taking the power away

985
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 1: from the parents or whoever has instilled this purity mindset

986
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 1: and just saying, okay, what do I want to do? Exactly?

987
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:24,360
Speaker 1: Got you exactly? And then when you have that, and

988
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:26,759
Speaker 1: this goes back to consent, right, and you meet someone

989
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 1: who might want to have sex on a first date,

990
00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 1: and you can say that's not for me. Right, Maybe

991
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:33,560
Speaker 1: you want to have sex on the first date. Maybe

992
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:35,359
Speaker 1: you want to be a part of the same sort

993
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 1: of tender culture. I'm not really sure, but I would

994
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 1: say the best thing to do is really find out

995
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:43,959
Speaker 1: where you stand, not where your parents stand, not where

996
00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 1: society even wants to put to you. Right, So taking

997
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 1: away the levels of a shame that is surrounding it,

998
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:52,239
Speaker 1: or that's been placed on her about it, because now

999
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:55,040
Speaker 1: she's asking the question and it's funny. Um, it's not funny,

1000
00:53:55,120 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 1: but I was thinking about a little pre conversation we

1001
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 1: had about this topic with one of our producers, Triple As.

1002
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 1: She said, the conversation that her mom had with her

1003
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,240
Speaker 1: about sex. But nobody's gonna do you better than yourself.

1004
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:13,880
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna do you like you do yourself. So can

1005
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 1: I wonder if I was just saying, I wonder if

1006
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 1: she's been exploring her own body to see what she

1007
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 1: likes and what she doesn't likes. Maybe that can take

1008
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:22,839
Speaker 1: some of the edge off or not. I don't know,

1009
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:26,279
Speaker 1: because I wasn't seven in the Virgins, and I will

1010
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:28,799
Speaker 1: say this to a piggyback of what Anton that said.

1011
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:30,719
Speaker 1: I think it's a point for her to figure out

1012
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,319
Speaker 1: what she wants. If she wants to exist in the

1013
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:37,080
Speaker 1: tender culture and be free sexually, there's nothing wrong with that.

1014
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:40,800
Speaker 1: People live in by different moral codes and different moral standards.

1015
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:43,200
Speaker 1: As long as you're living truth to yourself, you're fine.

1016
00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:46,280
Speaker 1: But if she does want to exist in the purity culture,

1017
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:49,359
Speaker 1: need be it for us to judge her? For there

1018
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:52,760
Speaker 1: are also men who live by the same standard. For example,

1019
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 1: like Tim Tebow, who said he wasn't going to have

1020
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:57,040
Speaker 1: sexually got married and he did it. And this is

1021
00:54:57,080 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 1: a world famous, world class athlete who could have had

1022
00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 1: his choice of any woman. At one point. He was

1023
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,560
Speaker 1: like the greatest football player ever out of Florida who

1024
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,840
Speaker 1: chose to stick by his own moral code and to

1025
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:10,880
Speaker 1: stay pure in his own right as a man to

1026
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:13,440
Speaker 1: find a woman to get married to. So there are

1027
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:16,759
Speaker 1: men out there who exist in that same culture if

1028
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 1: you choose to. I wonder if not we should invent

1029
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 1: it is in the same boat. But I'm wondering if

1030
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:34,120
Speaker 1: there are spaces for people who share like that, like

1031
00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:37,840
Speaker 1: minded or you know, way of question, probably just because

1032
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:41,440
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you're practicing purity or a virgin. But

1033
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 1: I agree with you. I definitely agree that it has

1034
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:47,359
Speaker 1: to be your own choice, right Like so if Tim

1035
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:50,200
Speaker 1: Tebow decided that that was him and he felt confident

1036
00:55:50,239 --> 00:55:53,319
Speaker 1: in that, then that's fine. But your listener doesn't feel

1037
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,600
Speaker 1: like she feels confident. So it has to be your

1038
00:55:56,239 --> 00:55:59,680
Speaker 1: because blowing up my parents. It has to be your values.

1039
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:03,879
Speaker 1: And once you become set in your values, then you know,

1040
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:07,840
Speaker 1: all of the anxiety goes away. I mean, that's you

1041
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:09,480
Speaker 1: know what's funny, That's what it all boils down to,

1042
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:12,000
Speaker 1: is that this is your own person, and you owe

1043
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:15,440
Speaker 1: nobody else. You nobody else anything. You can do what

1044
00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:18,400
Speaker 1: you want with who you want, with yourself or with

1045
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 1: someone like that's just a boy home line. You know

1046
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:28,040
Speaker 1: she's not seventeen, she's all right. Rys list their letters.

1047
00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:31,200
Speaker 1: Thank you for helping us out with a much you

1048
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:34,560
Speaker 1: appreciated um. And if you out there want to be

1049
00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:37,319
Speaker 1: featured as one of our listener letters, be sure to

1050
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:40,919
Speaker 1: email us at dead s Advice at gmail dot com

1051
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 1: and send us a nice little story, a little context

1052
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:46,000
Speaker 1: so we can try to give y'all our two cents.

1053
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:50,399
Speaker 1: All right, So tell everybody one more time recap where

1054
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 1: they can find you your handles websites give them all

1055
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:55,719
Speaker 1: the ta so when they want to set up these

1056
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:58,040
Speaker 1: sessions with their kids and you, you know, we can

1057
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:00,600
Speaker 1: get them popping. Oh my goodness. If you want to

1058
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 1: find classes in the l A area, both for schools

1059
00:57:03,760 --> 00:57:07,239
Speaker 1: and um independent classes, you can go to more than

1060
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 1: sex ed and that's sex head with a hyphen in

1061
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:18,720
Speaker 1: between sex dot org um my personal handle. You want

1062
00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:20,920
Speaker 1: to give us the person business, you could do that

1063
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:25,840
Speaker 1: because box might get blown up. I will give him

1064
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 1: the business given the business in fults in the business

1065
00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 1: and so actually you can probably just email that would

1066
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:33,680
Speaker 1: be best. So the email they can find through the

1067
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 1: website more than sex hyphen dot org. Yes, perfect, Thank

1068
00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:52,960
Speaker 1: you so much, thank you, thank you much. Appreciate it. Alright,

1069
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:56,600
Speaker 1: Moment of truth time. We had a very loaded conversation

1070
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:59,280
Speaker 1: today about the birds and the bees and the babies,

1071
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:03,480
Speaker 1: the baby's babies, but our babies. No, but it does

1072
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:05,960
Speaker 1: start with the babies because something that I learned, it

1073
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 1: was like a lightbulb that just went off. If you

1074
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:13,240
Speaker 1: start with permission with your children, by teaching them personal space,

1075
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:16,800
Speaker 1: how to respect other people's personal space, but how to

1076
00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 1: gain respect for their own personal space, everything else will

1077
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:23,520
Speaker 1: probably be very very simple. You know. Something simple is like, hey,

1078
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:25,439
Speaker 1: don't just run up on me and give me a hug.

1079
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:28,640
Speaker 1: You know, let's talk about it first, right, Hey, Dad

1080
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:32,520
Speaker 1: could give you a hug? Hey, Caro, give you a hug?

1081
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 1: Hey Jacks, can Dad give you a kiss? Today? Just

1082
00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:38,000
Speaker 1: about asking those questions will create a culture where they

1083
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,960
Speaker 1: will understand what consent is and what it isn't. And

1084
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,680
Speaker 1: we're not even talking about sex, talking about consent for touching,

1085
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:47,400
Speaker 1: consent for anything. And that's huge for the beginning basis

1086
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:50,480
Speaker 1: of sex education. Absolutely just giving them the autonomy over

1087
00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:53,800
Speaker 1: their person like this is what I will allow and

1088
00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:56,240
Speaker 1: won't allow, and then giving the same respect to other people.

1089
00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:59,320
Speaker 1: That's okay, no, for sure, that's so. UM. I think

1090
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:02,479
Speaker 1: my moment is true is knowing that it's never too

1091
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 1: young to start the conversation with the kids and um,

1092
00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:08,120
Speaker 1: you know, starting from you know, very early, you know,

1093
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:10,560
Speaker 1: two and three, where Kira and kas are um with

1094
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 1: just body parts, identifying what they are, using the correct names,

1095
00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:18,560
Speaker 1: and then age appropriate conversations there after where you start

1096
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:22,000
Speaker 1: to slowly put things into context, but in a nature,

1097
00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:23,880
Speaker 1: in a manner, in a time frame where they can

1098
00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:26,600
Speaker 1: actually absorb it and understand it. Um. I think it's

1099
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:28,560
Speaker 1: going to be very important for us moving forward with

1100
00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:31,400
Speaker 1: the boys. UM So I look forward to teaming up

1101
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:34,680
Speaker 1: with you, joining forces. Give me a handshake, me a handshake. There,

1102
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:37,320
Speaker 1: there we are, And if you're approaching one on the street,

1103
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:39,760
Speaker 1: you know, meet someone for the first time, maybe ask them,

1104
00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:44,400
Speaker 1: are you hugger or do you want to handshake? Your handshake?

1105
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 1: Hug your handshake? So we're handshaking today the way you'd

1106
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:49,600
Speaker 1: be acting about the birds and bees in our own bed.

1107
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:54,920
Speaker 1: I don't know, We're gonna constantly disagreement later on. Be

1108
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 1: sure to follow us on social media at Cadeen, I

1109
00:59:57,880 --> 01:00:01,920
Speaker 1: am and developed, And if you're listening on Stitcher, Spotify

1110
01:00:02,240 --> 01:00:06,240
Speaker 1: or Apple podcast, be short to rate, review and subscribe.

1111
01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:14,240
Speaker 1: Dead As dead Ass is a production of Stitcher. We

1112
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:18,120
Speaker 1: are produced by Jackie Soljico and Dinor Opinia are executive

1113
01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:22,440
Speaker 1: producer t Square. Our associate producers are Triple and Kristen Torres.

1114
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 1: Our chief content Officer is Chris Bannon. Our studio engineer

1115
01:00:26,360 --> 01:00:29,200
Speaker 1: and original music is by Brendan Burns and last but

1116
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:38,680
Speaker 1: not least, we are mixed by Andy Kristen's We'll Back.

1117
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:40,800
Speaker 1: I'm Drew McCarry and I'm David Roth. We have a

1118
01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:43,120
Speaker 1: podcast going on right now as part of the stitchen Net.

1119
01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:49,080
Speaker 1: We're called Substraction that's available everywhere. Get a podcast at Stitcher, Spotify, Apple,

1120
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:51,760
Speaker 1: Go listen right now to the Distraction, right now, it's out.

1121
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:52,560
Speaker 1: Do it please,