1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercam. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,479 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode one hundred and twenty five, 11 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 1: which is first airing on December twenty fourth. So not 12 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 1: a lot of people celebrating the holidays this week and 13 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 1: perhaps not commuting and listening to podcasts. But maybe you'll 14 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 1: make a chance to listen to us while you are 15 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 1: on the treadmill or otherwise, you know, cooking, doing laundry, 16 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 1: whatever it is that you do, driving around visiting relatives. 17 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: We are going to do a year in the review episode, 18 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: but just a little heads up. Neither Sarah nor I 19 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 1: are feeling one hundred percent right now. Sarah has an 20 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 1: unfortunate illness that is going to make her sound like 21 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,760 Speaker 1: she's got a three pack a day habit. That's not true. 22 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 1: She does not. But in case anyone is wondering where 23 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:22,119 Speaker 1: that one came from. And I am unable to sleep 24 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 1: because of the baby being you know, all kinds of fun. 25 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: It's really great. I were recording this at night because 26 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,679 Speaker 1: we had to in terms of our schedules, and I 27 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 1: managed to fall asleep both directions on a train today. 28 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: That was That was lovely. I wake up at another 29 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: stop anyway, did you miss your stop? I did not 30 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 1: miss my stop. But we are dedicated, Sarah, We are 31 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 1: kind of are dedicated. We do not want you to 32 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: be doing your holiday travel and wishing that there was 33 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: a new best of both World's episodes and being disappointed. 34 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 1: And also Laura is a streaker, as we know. I'm 35 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: not meaning but in terms of running, yes, but in 36 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: like we've had a podcast streak, we cannot break through. 37 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,920 Speaker 1: We're not going to break this streak. So we are 38 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 1: going to soldier through. Everyone's going to going to get 39 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 1: through this. So Sarah, you're in review. I mean, this 40 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 1: was sort of a transitional year for both of us. 41 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 1: You went from Genevie being a baby to being a 42 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: real kid now, yes, speaking in full sentences and everything. 43 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:33,800 Speaker 1: So we had no pregnancies this year, but I do 44 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 1: feel like we kind of crossed the bridge. We got 45 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:39,080 Speaker 1: past my least favorite stage, that lovely eighteen months to 46 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,320 Speaker 1: you know, twelve to twenty months. But I say so, 47 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 1: I'm kind of excited about that. And you know, next 48 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,240 Speaker 1: year will be my big milestone birthday year, so this 49 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: was like a warm up perhaps, but transitional year, that's true. 50 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 1: I guess I technically had my my milestone in the 51 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 1: at the end of last year, at the you know, yes, 52 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:01,640 Speaker 1: that's true summer. So it was twenty eighteen, not twenty nineteen, 53 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 1: although twenty nineteen was the year that I was, in 54 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,520 Speaker 1: fact forty for the whole year pretty much except for 55 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,920 Speaker 1: right here at the end. But yeah, no, it was 56 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:13,639 Speaker 1: a transitional year for me as well. I spent most 57 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:18,960 Speaker 1: of it just dating, so that added a certain special 58 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,680 Speaker 1: something to the experience of being forty years old. The 59 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,240 Speaker 1: kids are Yeah, it was, you know, a year of 60 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,799 Speaker 1: big kids, except that knowing we're going to be plunging 61 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 1: back into the newborn world. So I think maybe it's 62 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,840 Speaker 1: good you can like appreciate it. Well, yeah, Yeah. Now 63 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: I've been appreciating certain things of like they all go 64 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 1: disappear on weekends to places like around the house and 65 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,200 Speaker 1: I could just do whatever, and that ability is going 66 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 1: to disappear. And you had a civilized dinner out. We 67 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: had a civilized dinner out. That was a development, a milestone. 68 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 1: We went out to a restaurant. The six of us 69 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: sat at a table. Nobody got up, nobody screamed and yelled, 70 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:04,160 Speaker 1: nobody threw anything like. We all ordered food, we ate it, 71 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,080 Speaker 1: we paid for it, and left it. It was a 72 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 1: meal with no drama whatsoever. Quite exciting. But that's one 73 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: reason I'm, you know, figuring out the sort of childcare 74 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,599 Speaker 1: puzzle to make sure we have some availability to have 75 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:22,720 Speaker 1: those experiences still with you know, I love the babies, 76 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: but they're not good in restaurants, and it's nice to 77 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 1: be able to do stuff with the big kids as well. 78 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 1: So we're going to start that out awesome. Well, we 79 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,120 Speaker 1: also moved. I guess it's funny when I moved. Yeah, 80 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 1: your list that I was seeking that happened last year, 81 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 1: but I guess we didn't officially move into this house 82 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,920 Speaker 1: until January. And I did switch jobs in the middle 83 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 1: of the year as well, kind of, so it was 84 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,040 Speaker 1: a lot. Yeah, it was an adjustment year, all right. 85 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 1: So let's talk about our highlights and low lights. So 86 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 1: we we both took Disney cruises this year. You so 87 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 1: that was a highlight for you. Yeah, I guess it 88 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 1: wasn't as much for you, But yes, I would say 89 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,600 Speaker 1: most successful f only trip that we took. We didn't 90 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,159 Speaker 1: take that many, but it just felt like it was 91 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: right for our stage, and I think we really enjoyed 92 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,239 Speaker 1: going with friends. And it was my first ever cruise, 93 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 1: so I realized I kind of always suspected I would 94 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 1: like cruises because I love the idea of just being 95 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:17,320 Speaker 1: stuck somewhere doing nothing. So that was my favorite trip 96 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: that we took. But for you, it was more of 97 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: like a midlight, right you were. Yeah, Well, the kids 98 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: really liked it. So I went with my mother in 99 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 1: law and the three big kids, and they had a 100 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,720 Speaker 1: great time. The kids, I assume my mother in law tolerated, 101 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 1: but the kids loved it. I had never been on 102 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,479 Speaker 1: a cruise before either. I can't say that cruising is 103 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:41,360 Speaker 1: probably going to be my favorite form of travel. I 104 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,919 Speaker 1: don't necessarily like the boat was fine, I don't know, 105 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:46,480 Speaker 1: but it's just like the whole idea of like, well, 106 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 1: here's we have all this food, but it's not really 107 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,839 Speaker 1: that good of food. And yeah, the food is the 108 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,960 Speaker 1: food is not the best. I don't know. I guess 109 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 1: maybe I just like it with the young kids. I 110 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 1: like it everyone sort of forced containment and like it 111 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 1: as an extended playdate. I like that you can get 112 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 1: off at ports, but then like, I don't know, somehow 113 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: get back on to home, baby. I don't know. I 114 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,479 Speaker 1: kind of enjoyed it. I felt like every time we 115 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 1: got off the boat it was this huge production that 116 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,720 Speaker 1: it wouldn't have been in other circumstancescept like getting out 117 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,600 Speaker 1: of your hotel room, out of our hotel room would 118 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: not have been like that. So yeah, I don't know, 119 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,039 Speaker 1: but your your low light of a trip was your 120 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: your Amelia Island terrible, terrible. The irony is that we 121 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 1: are actually in the process of booking an Amelia Island 122 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 1: trip for this summer. Okay, you decided to go back 123 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: to it. Okay, well we're not going to stay at 124 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,280 Speaker 1: a hotel. We're going to stay like in our own 125 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 1: beach bungalow type thing. There's like villas that are part 126 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: of a larger resort, but like you have your own buildings, 127 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: so't you know, I won't have a baby crying and 128 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 1: disturbing the peace. I also won't have a baby. I mean, 129 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 1: I do feel like Genevieve is already different now than 130 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:53,159 Speaker 1: she was then, even though it was only a few 131 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 1: months ago. And we're not going to combine it with 132 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 1: Lego Land because I think everyone was kind of tired 133 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,240 Speaker 1: out by the time we got to Amelia Island time. 134 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:03,240 Speaker 1: We're just gonna go straight for a beach trip because 135 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: we really did love the location and we loved how 136 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 1: uncrowded the beaches were, and it felt a little bit 137 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,000 Speaker 1: different than South Florida. It's like on the very northern 138 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 1: northeastern side basically. So we're gonna try it again, but 139 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 1: in a very different style because I feel like we learned. Yeah. Yeah, 140 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: we wound up taking quite a bit. I at least 141 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 1: took quite a bit of trips this year. Partly Jasper 142 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 1: had asked for the San Diego trip for Christmas last year, 143 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 1: and so I took him for Martin Luther King Day 144 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 1: weekend in January, and that was actually quite a bit 145 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 1: of fun. He and I had a good time together. 146 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: We you know, did the San Diego Zoo Safari Park 147 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 1: and got to feed rhinos, which was pretty amazing. And 148 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: also just like running on the beach in January is 149 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: one of those things that you probably take for granted 150 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: in South Florida, but it's not something that ever happens 151 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,320 Speaker 1: up here, Like it would be a pretty miserable experience 152 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,840 Speaker 1: to run on a beach in January here, but it was. 153 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 1: It was awesome in California. So I quite enjoyed that 154 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 1: we did Disney in February. That was you know, that 155 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: was actually really did We did pretty well. I was 156 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:09,840 Speaker 1: a little nervous about it, but every one was old 157 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 1: enough that it was tolerable, you know, So so that 158 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: was that was not bad at all. Uh. Yeah, and 159 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 1: I agree with you the whole whole. Like getting a villa, 160 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: like an actual which was standalone instruction alone property, like 161 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: when we did our our Caribbean trip, that was something 162 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,200 Speaker 1: that was definitely key that you know, we can just 163 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 1: that's my new thing. Yeah. I actually i'll report back 164 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: is for next year we're going to do our first 165 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: Arabean b so you see how that goes. Yeah, it 166 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: looks lovely better. And you guys took a couple's trip, right, 167 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 1: you went to so Josh and I did a weekend 168 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:45,839 Speaker 1: in Nashville and it was short but sweet. We saw 169 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,520 Speaker 1: Casey Musk Graves and concert. I love couples trips. I 170 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 1: always want to do one every year. Did you guys 171 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 1: get to do one this? Yeah? We did a baby moon, 172 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,560 Speaker 1: a mini baby moon this past weekend. From when we 173 00:08:56,520 --> 00:09:00,760 Speaker 1: were recording, I was smart, Yeah, I mean I gotta say, like, 174 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:04,080 Speaker 1: if anyone's pregnant and listening to this and thinking like 175 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 1: I should take a baby moon, you should not do 176 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 1: it when you're eight months pregnant, because by that point 177 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 1: you're just too uncomfortable to like have that much fun 178 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: in it. I mean, you know, I was like, I 179 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 1: mean I still enjoy like going to the Metropolitan Museum 180 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 1: of Art in New York. I love to see it, 181 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: but I was literally like sitting on every bench that 182 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 1: you're like half months. I mean you're like, yeah, it 183 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:30,679 Speaker 1: was it was rough, you know, and it's shockingly you 184 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: don't feel all that amorus either. If you are in 185 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: that uncomfortable what are you talking about? It so amorous? 186 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:39,559 Speaker 1: When I'm thirty seven weeks pregnant. So if the point 187 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,520 Speaker 1: is to enjoy a couple of time with your significant other, 188 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,080 Speaker 1: like you should probably take care of this before you 189 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 1: reach that point of being just like you know, whaleish. 190 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: So yes, just like the work service announcement for others 191 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:57,840 Speaker 1: to public service. Yes, I want to see Casey Musgraves. 192 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 1: So I've been listening to I would go see again 193 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,199 Speaker 1: in a heartbeat. And actually it is December twenty fourth 194 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,480 Speaker 1: when this is airing. If anyone has not heard her 195 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 1: Christmas album yet on all right, it's writing down it's 196 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:17,199 Speaker 1: like perfect, Oh okay, a very key Christmas. Actually I 197 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 1: didn't really go to any concerts. Michael went to brad 198 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 1: Paisley with boys and yeah, I was supposed to go, 199 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,839 Speaker 1: but I felt like crap. So I'm very much looking 200 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 1: forward to the day then, but that like one of 201 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: my kids wants to go to like a teen idol 202 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 1: come yeah, I will secretly be like, oh that's the name. 203 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,920 Speaker 1: I'd be like, yes, I think I wanted to go, 204 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 1: Like Adel, that's good. Maybe we'll do that whenever she 205 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: tours again. I don't know, she has to probably have 206 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: another album out for that. I got to get the 207 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 1: kids into Billie Eilish because she's coming. Yeah, it'd be fun. 208 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 1: I have some friends with like teen daughters who did 209 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,680 Speaker 1: the whole Taylor Swift thing, yes, or that that would 210 00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:59,199 Speaker 1: be Yeah. I would probably enjoy that myself, but I 211 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 1: think Ruthie is a little young. We'll have to we'll 212 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 1: have to get there. What oh, what did you saw 213 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 1: dear Evan Hanson this year? Yes, not New York. I 214 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:10,080 Speaker 1: saw it here, but it was pretty good. And I 215 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 1: think we're gonna see Mean Girls is our next show. 216 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,120 Speaker 1: So there's a pretty good performing arts center here. I 217 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:17,680 Speaker 1: do track all this stuff, By the way, do you 218 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 1: how do you like when you go like I, I 219 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,719 Speaker 1: have pages in my little accessory notebook that otherwise I 220 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,240 Speaker 1: don't think I would remember, Like I wrote on movies 221 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,080 Speaker 1: that we saw, or like little trips that we took 222 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: and I had I had a section for shows this year, 223 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:31,520 Speaker 1: and I think it was the only one of these 224 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,000 Speaker 1: I made its own collection in your bullet journal. If 225 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,560 Speaker 1: it's only going to be one, yeah, you can make 226 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:40,840 Speaker 1: a broader one like of like I think it's movie 227 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: movies and shows or culture, you know, put art museums 228 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 1: in there too, or anything like that. Yeah, that's true. 229 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,719 Speaker 1: We saw Hamilton this fall, so you know, I got 230 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,679 Speaker 1: to see what all the hype. It's pretty good, right, 231 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,200 Speaker 1: It's pretty good. Yeah, we enjoyed it. We thought we 232 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 1: would too, We like really liked it. Yeah, No, it 233 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 1: was fine. I've been listening to the soundtrack and you know, 234 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: on planes and stuff, and so I'm enjoying that. But yeah, 235 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 1: so professionally, you've had a great year. Sarah got promoted. 236 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:13,600 Speaker 1: As she said, she got her new job. She has 237 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 1: been rocking it with that, also growing her blog audience. Well, 238 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:22,600 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if I'm rocking it at 239 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 1: my job. I'm learning a lot all the time, and 240 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:30,080 Speaker 1: I am I feel like it is a role. Like 241 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:31,840 Speaker 1: a lot of people say, it takes a few years 242 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,599 Speaker 1: to really feel like you are rocking it. So I 243 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:35,959 Speaker 1: don't know if I'm rocking it. But it's been fun 244 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: to transition. It's been fun to be in charge of something. 245 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 1: I feel like I own something a little bit so, 246 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,960 Speaker 1: a little scary at times, but but fun. And I've 247 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,080 Speaker 1: done a lot of it's funny. I actually don't have 248 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:48,120 Speaker 1: a good way of tracking this, but I've submitted, I've 249 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,079 Speaker 1: like done more. I think it's because like I got 250 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 1: past the pregnancy and the pumping and stuff. So this 251 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:53,720 Speaker 1: year I said, I've had a lot of pent up stuff. 252 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 1: Submitted a poster, submitted a couple workshops. One of them 253 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:00,120 Speaker 1: got rejected. We'll see if the other one doesn't. That 254 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,839 Speaker 1: it's somewhere else, right, can't she just you know, keep Yeah, 255 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 1: I repackaged it and then collaborated with somebody, so maybe 256 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:11,080 Speaker 1: they'll like the collaboration better. And yeah, I feel like 257 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 1: my CV got a lot of lines, so that's great, 258 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:18,079 Speaker 1: that's awesome. Sarah should be in management. That's the right 259 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 1: place for her. So I think that's that's good. And 260 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,680 Speaker 1: you sold the house, so I'm looking at your list 261 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 1: of accomplishments. This is an announcement for anybody who is 262 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: keeping track. Our house is no longer our house. We 263 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,559 Speaker 1: are not homeowners, may never be again. We're cool that, 264 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:37,080 Speaker 1: We're very happy. Yeah, that might have been my favorite 265 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:42,800 Speaker 1: thing is off my off my shoulders. There's no more house. 266 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:46,960 Speaker 1: It's spent like three hundred and sixty nine days on zillow. Yes, 267 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: that's that's one of those scary statistics. Like I've looked 268 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 1: in our neighborhood too. Just because I mean, we've we've 269 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 1: looked at houses, right, you know, and we're kind of 270 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,480 Speaker 1: limited in where we can look if we're going to 271 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:02,080 Speaker 1: stay in our schools. And yeah, all the houses that 272 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:06,520 Speaker 1: are of sort of similar size and you know whatever, 273 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 1: or have been on the market for like three hundred 274 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 1: days and so on. Okay, well that's a sign, I think, 275 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:16,319 Speaker 1: But maybe you're a house would be different. Different. Yeah, 276 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,680 Speaker 1: somehow we'd be we'd be different, we'd be the people 277 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:21,240 Speaker 1: who had the bidding more on day two. I doubt it. 278 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,920 Speaker 1: We can always advertise on the podcast. Speaking of advertisements, 279 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 1: you're about to hear my voice sound a lot better 280 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 1: for just a moment, an ad that was recorded at 281 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:33,120 Speaker 1: a separate time. Are you struggling to sleep these days? 282 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 1: If so, you're not alone. One in three US adults 283 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: doesn't get enough sleep, and if you're not sleeping enough, 284 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 1: this can affect your cognitive functions during the day, like learning, 285 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:46,440 Speaker 1: problem solving, and decision making. A good night's sleep can 286 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 1: be considered like a magic remedy for your brain and body. 287 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 1: When we sleep well, we're more focused and more relaxed, 288 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,040 Speaker 1: and best of all, sleep makes us happier. So that's 289 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,800 Speaker 1: why we've partnered with Calm, the number one app for sleep. 290 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: With Calm, you'll discover a whole library of program designed 291 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 1: to help you get the sleep your brain in body needs. 292 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,880 Speaker 1: They've got soundscapes which are like relaxing songs, and over 293 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 1: one hundred sleep stories narrated by soothing voices. My kids 294 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 1: have listened to sleep stories before, and I can report 295 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,600 Speaker 1: that they have one hundred percent success rate and eventually 296 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 1: helping them to fall asleep. So if you want to 297 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 1: see the day, sleep the night, use Calm right now. 298 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 1: Best of listeners get twenty five percent off a Calm 299 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: Premium subscription at Calm dot com slash Best of that's 300 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 1: Calm dot com slash b e s t of forty 301 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 1: million people have downloaded it. Find out why at Calm 302 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 1: dot com slash Best of All. Right, well we are back. 303 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 1: We are doing our Year in Review episode with both 304 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 1: of us semi sick and otherwise incapacitated, but soldiering through 305 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:53,040 Speaker 1: as we said, so that we would not deprive anyone 306 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:57,840 Speaker 1: of their Christmas Eve episode Best of Both Worlds, which 307 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 1: I'm sure everyone was looking forward to immensely. I almost 308 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,600 Speaker 1: suggested that we like copy the how to money guys 309 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,160 Speaker 1: and have a beer. And then I was like, oh wait, 310 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:13,280 Speaker 1: right right, No, it's just not gonna works, not gonna work. 311 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: It could have been just me. But when I was like, oh, well, 312 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:19,560 Speaker 1: she's pregnant, I'm six. That's a bad idea. Although they've 313 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 1: been repeating episodes so after they both had their their 314 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 1: babies in this fall, the true had their babies, but 315 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 1: the couples had had their two babies, they they repeated 316 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 1: some old episodes, which is an interesting idea. I guess 317 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,240 Speaker 1: we hadn't really. Don't worry though, we're not doing that 318 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:38,400 Speaker 1: because we plant well we could, but we could, yeah, 319 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: maybe we could. Okay, well that's the thought. But if 320 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:44,520 Speaker 1: we don't, then you'll know. Actually, we've worked pretty far ahead, 321 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:48,000 Speaker 1: so we're we're not to ruin of the moment nous 322 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 1: of the episodes coming up, but we are prepared so 323 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 1: that should Laura go into labor, you will not be 324 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 1: without the dually hosted episode of About exactly. So you 325 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:03,360 Speaker 1: also read thirty three books in the year four yes 326 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:07,600 Speaker 1: recounted yesterday? Yeah, yeah, and I read some really good 327 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:10,640 Speaker 1: did I put my books in here? Did so? Kitchens 328 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:12,440 Speaker 1: of the Great Midwest? I think that's been on my 329 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,560 Speaker 1: Did you read that? I have not yet. No, Yeah, 330 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 1: i'd spend Ryan's since or something like that. Actually, it's 331 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,280 Speaker 1: it's great. It's like a little melancholy, a little legy, 332 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:24,879 Speaker 1: but not too much, so I enjoyed it a lot. 333 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 1: I just finished Fleischmann Is in Trouble, which you kind 334 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,200 Speaker 1: of have to be in the right mood read because 335 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:34,840 Speaker 1: it's also it's a little harsh, but it's it's interesting 336 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:37,320 Speaker 1: and there's an interesting twist to it, which I enjoyed. 337 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,879 Speaker 1: And then The Gifted School I mentioned that in a 338 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: prior episode. I loved it, The Mother in Law, and 339 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,760 Speaker 1: then of my non fiction picks, I, like everyone else, 340 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:50,640 Speaker 1: I liked Atomic Habits, and then Couples that Work Jennifer particularly. Yeah, 341 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,600 Speaker 1: one of our guests. It's always good when the books 342 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 1: reached the top of the list and we have the 343 00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:01,159 Speaker 1: guests on that's it. That's good, happy, happy overlap. When 344 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 1: that happened, I abandoned four books. Ooh, another breakthrough in 345 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,640 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen. How many did you read? You probably read 346 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:12,640 Speaker 1: a lot? Yeah, I did. I haven't added it up yet, 347 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 1: but I think it's north of fifty, so that's good. 348 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:18,360 Speaker 1: Definitely I can tell from your list from my list. 349 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,920 Speaker 1: The thing is, though there weren't that many that I 350 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,280 Speaker 1: was really taken with. I put on my list of 351 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,399 Speaker 1: some that were sort of out of the box that 352 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 1: I enjoyed for whatever reason. I read a lot of 353 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 1: baseball books this year. I read Kay a History of 354 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:36,119 Speaker 1: Baseball and Ten Pitches, which I would definitely recommend if 355 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 1: you've got a baseball fan in your life. That might 356 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 1: be a good holiday gift if you doing last minute 357 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,359 Speaker 1: shopping here, I guess you have to give them like 358 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:46,760 Speaker 1: the ebook at this point, but I read that. I 359 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:50,800 Speaker 1: read George Will's baseball books, his Men at Work and 360 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,040 Speaker 1: A Little Place on the North Side, which is his 361 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:57,720 Speaker 1: history of the Chicago Cubs in their stadium. You know, 362 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:01,439 Speaker 1: I really appreciated Men at Work just because, I mean, 363 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,359 Speaker 1: he makes some really good points, you know about like 364 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 1: people talking about certain certain men as being like natural athletes, 365 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 1: and how this so underplays like how hard they work, 366 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 1: Like these these guys work like crazy to get to 367 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,360 Speaker 1: where they are, and and the fact that people think 368 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 1: it's natural is just because we can't fathom how you know, 369 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 1: much of a skill it is that they've been working 370 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,800 Speaker 1: on these things and I found that so fascinating to read. 371 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,640 Speaker 1: I really enjoyed that, you know, I read. I read 372 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,240 Speaker 1: a couple of novels that I know have made other 373 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:40,359 Speaker 1: people's lists of best books. Like I read Station eleven, 374 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,359 Speaker 1: which didn't come out this year, but you know, you 375 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,240 Speaker 1: didn't like it. I didn't like it. It was it 376 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:48,000 Speaker 1: was so well constructed, and I so as a as 377 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:51,399 Speaker 1: a piece of art and craft. It's it's like the 378 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,720 Speaker 1: baseball players. I can see how much work went into it, 379 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:59,720 Speaker 1: how carefully constructed it is. I am incredibly impressed with that. 380 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:04,440 Speaker 1: I also realize it's like, just because something is amazing 381 00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 1: doesn't mean it's a good book for me. I don't 382 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:12,719 Speaker 1: like dystopian literature. I just I just don't. And I'm 383 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,760 Speaker 1: sure that's a moral failing on my part, but no, 384 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 1: it's not. It's not. I mean, so I haven't read 385 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,560 Speaker 1: it yet. Actually, but when I recently posted like books 386 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,960 Speaker 1: I was interested in for next year, that was I 387 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,399 Speaker 1: mean multiple people. I just I feel like that's been 388 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,919 Speaker 1: a constant recommendation for me. So I actually just reserved 389 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 1: it at the library. I will say I don't in 390 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 1: general dystopian. It's not that I don't enjoy them. I 391 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,760 Speaker 1: actually find them kind of fascinating, but they bother me. 392 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 1: I don't like watching dystopian movie like images will haunt 393 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,200 Speaker 1: me for much longer than they should. I other people 394 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 1: think it's like fun and can sort of like get 395 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 1: pasted it easily. I can't. It's like a little too real, 396 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,440 Speaker 1: like even the scenes from Ready Player one, and I 397 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,919 Speaker 1: loved that book, Like I still just picture the stacked 398 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,719 Speaker 1: up things and like, I'm like, the world's gonna look 399 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,400 Speaker 1: like I no one know what it's worth talking about. 400 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,600 Speaker 1: But yeah, I agree, it's it's a genre that can 401 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,120 Speaker 1: be not them. Yeah. I also read The Hobbit this year, 402 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: which is another one that I'm like, again, great literature, 403 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:16,160 Speaker 1: such a place in you know, literary history. Not my favorite. 404 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:21,720 Speaker 1: The sort of dark fantasy genre also not my cup 405 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:25,159 Speaker 1: of tea. You know, again, wonderful for other people. You 406 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 1: can appreciate it, Harry Potter. So I've read the books. 407 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:34,399 Speaker 1: I enjoyed them, but yeah, some of the I actually remember. 408 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,920 Speaker 1: I didn't finish Book five, like because it was just 409 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:40,200 Speaker 1: so dark in the middle and I can't. I don't 410 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,119 Speaker 1: want to deal with this, Like it's not fun for 411 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 1: me anymore. Five did feel like it lasted a long time. Yeah. Yeah, 412 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:51,000 Speaker 1: so there you go. That's the book. What are you 413 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 1: listening to in terms of podcasts? Yeah, so I guess 414 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,159 Speaker 1: I've been more like the financial podcasts have made their 415 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,359 Speaker 1: way onto my feed in addition to like the typical 416 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,560 Speaker 1: Planet Money and for economics that I listened to before. 417 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 1: We've talked about how the money, but also marriage, kids 418 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,720 Speaker 1: and money. I find that guy, I feel you like 419 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:16,240 Speaker 1: him fascinating. Okay, well, I'm curious, what's what's your I'm 420 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,200 Speaker 1: not saying I don't, but I'm just I'm curious what 421 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,120 Speaker 1: drew you to him. I don't know because we live 422 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 1: very different lives. But I find him fascinating and I 423 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 1: think there's something very unabashed about him, like he's just 424 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 1: like whatever, I'm just gonna be this crazy guy. And 425 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 1: I'm like wow, but he seems sincere about it, so 426 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,720 Speaker 1: I kind of like that. That's good since he and 427 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 1: his wife both work, and he, you know, he's very 428 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:43,800 Speaker 1: into financial independence type of concepts. And yeah, he paid 429 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,080 Speaker 1: his mortgage in five years. I just learned, and I 430 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,240 Speaker 1: thought that was pretty cool. Though I don't have a mortgage. 431 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:52,160 Speaker 1: That's true, I don't have a mortgage either, but exactly 432 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:58,000 Speaker 1: the lazy genius I've been enjoying. So that's also sort 433 00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,879 Speaker 1: of not my normal wheelhouse. I don't remember what me 434 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:03,400 Speaker 1: me pick it up. But she is a mostly stay 435 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 1: at home mom, but she's well, I don't know, she's 436 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 1: a work at home mom because she has a podcast 437 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 1: and like a lot of content creation type stuff, but 438 00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:13,560 Speaker 1: she's kind of scrappy. I like that about her. She 439 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,600 Speaker 1: comes up with a lot of interesting solutions and kind 440 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,240 Speaker 1: of her tagline is, you know, be a genius about 441 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:19,800 Speaker 1: the things that matter and is about the things that don't, 442 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,120 Speaker 1: which I think is sort of a best of both 443 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 1: wor that's the best of both the worlds exactly. I 444 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:28,399 Speaker 1: like her. The Mom Hour I greatly enjoy. The Girls 445 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,920 Speaker 1: next Door is my other fun conversational one and my 446 00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 1: super recent find. So I don't know, like I haven't 447 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 1: delved so deep, but I've enjoyed a few episodes of 448 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,359 Speaker 1: Simple Families that I've listened to. We I'll have to 449 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,080 Speaker 1: check some of those out. I've mostly been listening to 450 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:47,520 Speaker 1: How to Money Happier. Yeah, Yeah, I enjoyed it, yeah, 451 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,840 Speaker 1: which I haven't really added a whole lot of new 452 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,080 Speaker 1: stuff to my rotation this year. But fortunately a lot 453 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,400 Speaker 1: of these you know, they produced a couple episodes a week, 454 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,119 Speaker 1: and so I can listen to to those. All right, 455 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:02,440 Speaker 1: So Sarah, let's talk about what we learned in twenty nineteen. Oh, yes, 456 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:07,600 Speaker 1: well number one, get enough childcare? Yes, always good. I 457 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,760 Speaker 1: already knew that, but you know, it's always good to 458 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:14,000 Speaker 1: refresh yourself, you know, figure out make a mistake again 459 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 1: by thinking, oh, I don't need it, and then realize 460 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 1: that your life is better when you get it. Yeah, 461 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,320 Speaker 1: and we did move our nannies hours later because we 462 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 1: kind of figured out that we need her less to 463 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 1: be home alone all morning and more to be there 464 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,560 Speaker 1: when I'm putting the kids to bed. How How odd 465 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,680 Speaker 1: is that? How odd is that? Now? Well? I think 466 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:33,880 Speaker 1: that was It's a breakthrough. I realized this, like, because 467 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,680 Speaker 1: once you can get the kids out the door, it's like, 468 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,240 Speaker 1: but then you've done it right, and then you could 469 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,760 Speaker 1: sort of go about your day and then you have 470 00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 1: this reward in the evening of not having to do 471 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:47,399 Speaker 1: it solow. Yes, and I actually, I mean she doesn't 472 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,760 Speaker 1: stay for the big kid bedtime, but it's that Genevieve 473 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:51,840 Speaker 1: bedtime that's just key that I don't have to do 474 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:53,639 Speaker 1: that while I'm sort of trying to keep the other 475 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,160 Speaker 1: too quiet and all that. So it's been great. Yeah, 476 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,320 Speaker 1: the podcast is a mini job, and it's nice to 477 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:03,440 Speaker 1: have a little anue coming from it. That was my saying, So, yeah, 478 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 1: I mean this, I love doing this podcast. It was 479 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,040 Speaker 1: just I think we both realized it was. It was 480 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,680 Speaker 1: not not that it's not a huge endeavor, but it's 481 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,000 Speaker 1: not nothing either, So it feels nice to get a 482 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 1: little bit of a reward. Yes, kids are always changing, 483 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,000 Speaker 1: So anytime you feel like you're in a phase forever, 484 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,520 Speaker 1: like our trip this past summer, I think we're out 485 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,960 Speaker 1: of that phase already. So there you go. I can't 486 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,040 Speaker 1: always muscle through low moods, which I'm not I'm going 487 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:29,359 Speaker 1: to say that whole discussion for future episode, but okay, 488 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,720 Speaker 1: it is a learning point, yes, And then I've just 489 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,720 Speaker 1: been really interested in all things about finance and different 490 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:38,119 Speaker 1: kinds of investing in portfolios and things you shouldn't do, 491 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,680 Speaker 1: and just I really never spent a lot of time 492 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:44,760 Speaker 1: thinking about that at all. And most doctors are like 493 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,200 Speaker 1: the world's worst when it comes to that, and so 494 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:51,600 Speaker 1: I'm just soaking it up very interested. Yeah, well that's great. 495 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,440 Speaker 1: That's a good thing to good thing to learn about. 496 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:58,400 Speaker 1: All right, what did I learn in twenty nineteen? One 497 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,440 Speaker 1: thing that stands out is that there's no perfect housing situation. 498 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,920 Speaker 1: Uh that this is I mean, I know you guys 499 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,240 Speaker 1: have had this, you know, when you're looking at your rentals, 500 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,040 Speaker 1: like what would be available, Like what could you move into? 501 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:12,639 Speaker 1: I mean, what's open, what's in the price range, what's 502 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,720 Speaker 1: in the right place that like you have to compromise 503 00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:19,120 Speaker 1: on something and whether that's you know, pay a lot 504 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,280 Speaker 1: and rent or you compromise in some ways on what 505 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,359 Speaker 1: the unit is you're renting. I mean, there there's just 506 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,480 Speaker 1: it's got to it's got to be something. And we've 507 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:33,200 Speaker 1: been realizing this too with looking at houses that there's 508 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 1: nothing that's going to be perfect. And you know we've 509 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:40,159 Speaker 1: looked at some stuff that's like new construction even, but 510 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,120 Speaker 1: then there's something the builder did that you're just like why, 511 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,879 Speaker 1: like why did you do that? Because you have to 512 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:50,479 Speaker 1: go in and mix it. Any examples I want to hear, 513 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 1: I want to hear a builder mistake, well just I mean, 514 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:59,879 Speaker 1: you know, taking a kitchen that was actually pretty decent 515 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:05,800 Speaker 1: and then making it in some way hip with like 516 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 1: furnishings or you know, textures that just it just screams 517 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,000 Speaker 1: like like going so trendy that you're like, oh, China 518 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,920 Speaker 1: a twenty twenty house. Yeah, it's a twenty twenty house, 519 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,560 Speaker 1: you know, have to renovate it in like twenty twenty 520 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 1: one because it's just that was the color of the 521 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:23,160 Speaker 1: year or something and or just but it's it's made 522 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,680 Speaker 1: me appreciate things about our house too. And of course 523 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,440 Speaker 1: our house is not perfect in any way, shape or form, 524 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,440 Speaker 1: but we've done a lot of work to make it 525 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,680 Speaker 1: more like what I want. And then there are some 526 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 1: things that we are looking at other houses that are 527 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:40,440 Speaker 1: much more expensive and they don't have, and it's just 528 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:47,800 Speaker 1: you realize, Okay, there's no perfect situation. Do more people 529 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,159 Speaker 1: pick love it on love it or list it? Or 530 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,640 Speaker 1: do more people pick listening? I think more people pick 531 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,359 Speaker 1: love it because by the time they've made a house 532 00:27:55,400 --> 00:28:00,320 Speaker 1: that you chose before look decent and all of the 533 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,920 Speaker 1: problems that were really bothering you, Like you're like, why 534 00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,720 Speaker 1: would I move? I mean, it just seems like a 535 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:10,159 Speaker 1: total pain to move. That makes sense because you like 536 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:13,480 Speaker 1: you grew into your place, and you probably got halfway there, 537 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:17,400 Speaker 1: and then that's probably easier than starting from And I've 538 00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,480 Speaker 1: done a few things too, Like I realized when I 539 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,399 Speaker 1: was walking around these houses that of course they've all 540 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:26,359 Speaker 1: been staged, and that makes them look better than my 541 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:30,560 Speaker 1: house that has six people living in it. And so 542 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,680 Speaker 1: one of the first things I did after all this 543 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:38,200 Speaker 1: is I finally got the dining room like stage looking. 544 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 1: You know, we'd had an ugly tablecloth sitting on the 545 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,800 Speaker 1: table for like five years because you know, we didn't 546 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,719 Speaker 1: want to get the table dirty. But I'm like, oh, 547 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 1: I want to look at the table, Like I bought 548 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 1: this table because I liked the table. I want to 549 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 1: see the table. So I took it off and put 550 00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,480 Speaker 1: like a runner on it, nice candles, and got rid 551 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 1: of boxes and excess clutter that was around the room. 552 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,800 Speaker 1: It Now now it looks pretty decent. It looks like 553 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 1: one of these dining rooms in the houses that I 554 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 1: was touring. So I'm like, Okay, that's great, that's awesome. 555 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:14,920 Speaker 1: Any any other big learning points. H turns out that 556 00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:17,200 Speaker 1: you know, he could have a baby head age forty one. 557 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:23,560 Speaker 1: That's a happy discovery, So good, good, good discovery, discovery. Yeah, 558 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,880 Speaker 1: I can't wait till we get to post baby, you know, 559 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:31,320 Speaker 1: baby pictures. It will be fun. Can't wait. But yeah, 560 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:33,880 Speaker 1: so excited about that. What we would change? What are 561 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 1: we gonna change? Or should we just skip to our question? Yeah? 562 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 1: I feel like the changing and the learning points are 563 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,479 Speaker 1: like the same. Well, you want to stop multitasking at work? Right? 564 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 1: That was your so hard? It's so hard, and yeah, 565 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,600 Speaker 1: but I do. I'm going to someday. Someday, I don't 566 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:54,560 Speaker 1: know or not. I mean, no, it's really inefficient. It's terrible. 567 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,360 Speaker 1: I'll be doing something clinical. I'm like writing a note. 568 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 1: But then the problem is, I mean I've said this before, 569 00:29:58,200 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 1: but half the time it's like somebody else inter rel 570 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 1: It's very hard to get like control of your inputs. 571 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:07,160 Speaker 1: And when you're on call, actually you have no control, 572 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:11,200 Speaker 1: which is why I call is very stressful. So yeah, 573 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:13,320 Speaker 1: but and I have to remember that, like I don't 574 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 1: have to make every minute like I'm on call, like 575 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,000 Speaker 1: I have control when I'm not on goal. When you're not, No, 576 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:22,080 Speaker 1: that's true. It's not a medical emergency like outlook, and 577 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:26,440 Speaker 1: then you'll be femaling it. It's not Yeah, an emergency. Yeah, 578 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:29,280 Speaker 1: I'm making progress. Actually I've had I've had some good chunks. Okay, 579 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,440 Speaker 1: but I guess that's a continual goal. All right, Well 580 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:34,840 Speaker 1: we'll talk about twenty Yeah. Yeah, we've got all sorts 581 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 1: of episodes of suggesting it. We were talking about that, 582 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,600 Speaker 1: we're going to talk about the mustling through bad moods 583 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,760 Speaker 1: or not mustling through it as the case. Maybe we'll 584 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 1: probably do something on that and magically stopping time because 585 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,680 Speaker 1: Laura's figured the next Ted talk will be about time 586 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:52,200 Speaker 1: travel and it won't be a dystopian novel and it'll 587 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,240 Speaker 1: be great, it'll be awesome. All right, So should we 588 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,560 Speaker 1: do our Q? And Okay, so this question comes from 589 00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,400 Speaker 1: our listener who says, what should you do if your 590 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,000 Speaker 1: parents are very vocal about the number of children you 591 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,960 Speaker 1: hope to have? And in this case, it's not saying 592 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,200 Speaker 1: that she should have more, it is saying that she 593 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 1: should have less, which is slightly more awkward. Anyway, context 594 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,000 Speaker 1: is that she is the only child, and she was 595 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,000 Speaker 1: fine with being an older child, didn't feel like she 596 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,880 Speaker 1: was deprived, and she got to do cool stuff. Now 597 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:22,240 Speaker 1: cut to her grown up years and she has two kids, 598 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 1: a one year old and a three year old, and 599 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:28,560 Speaker 1: she's quite enjoying seeing their sibling dynamic develop. She says 600 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,600 Speaker 1: her parents have been tremendously helpful with the kids, flying 601 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,920 Speaker 1: in from out of state to visit frequently watching them 602 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:35,800 Speaker 1: on the weekends if they go out of town. They 603 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,440 Speaker 1: recently went on a ten day trip to India for 604 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,840 Speaker 1: a friend's wedding, and her parents watched the kids for 605 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:46,080 Speaker 1: ten days, which is pretty heroic right there. She says 606 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,520 Speaker 1: she is on the fence about having a third child. 607 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,280 Speaker 1: I love the idea of a big family and doesn't 608 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,800 Speaker 1: feel like her family may be complete yet. However, when 609 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:57,120 Speaker 1: she says this to her parents, they are very vocal 610 00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:02,240 Speaker 1: about saying that three kids seem crazy. They will bring 611 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:06,000 Speaker 1: up stories of friends of theirs whose grandkids. The third 612 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:09,400 Speaker 1: kid always seems to have some sort of medical problem. 613 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:11,040 Speaker 1: I guess if that's trying to warn her off of 614 00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 1: this or something, I don't know. Anyway, she says it's 615 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,000 Speaker 1: upsetting to her that her parents are saying that they 616 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,400 Speaker 1: don't think they'd be able to help. It feels like 617 00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:22,520 Speaker 1: it's too much. She says it would be harder to travel, 618 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:24,040 Speaker 1: of course, but she'd be willing to put that on 619 00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:26,560 Speaker 1: hold for a while until the kids were older and 620 00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 1: easier to manage. I know they'd bite their tongues and 621 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,760 Speaker 1: love another grandchild, she says, if it were to happen. 622 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,120 Speaker 1: But I don't know how to manage these conversations in 623 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,920 Speaker 1: the meantime. Would love to hear if you two got 624 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:40,680 Speaker 1: any grief from family members about having big families. Well, so, yeah, 625 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,720 Speaker 1: I did not personally get any grief. I think maybe 626 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 1: there was some surprise, but it was very supportive surprise. 627 00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,880 Speaker 1: But my feeling is that a lot of this comes 628 00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:54,120 Speaker 1: down I think to that ten day trip to India 629 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,640 Speaker 1: and your parents thinking, oh my god, now they want 630 00:32:57,680 --> 00:32:59,760 Speaker 1: us to watch all three kids, and they're like overwhelmed 631 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 1: by them. Your thought of that, so their reaction is 632 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,760 Speaker 1: to just be like, don't do it, don't do it, 633 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,160 Speaker 1: don't do it, like they're overwhelmed by that. So I 634 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:11,200 Speaker 1: do feel like you probably have to separate out and 635 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,920 Speaker 1: reassure them that, like, if you choose to do this, 636 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 1: you totally understand if it means that they're not going 637 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,160 Speaker 1: to be able to help in the same way, or 638 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,400 Speaker 1: that perhaps you would maybe they could watch the older 639 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:26,000 Speaker 1: ones and you would hire the younger one, if you 640 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,800 Speaker 1: ever chose to go away. Yeah, because I just I 641 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,560 Speaker 1: wonder if a lot of this comes from that, like 642 00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:32,600 Speaker 1: ten days watching the two kids. I mean, I gotta 643 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,000 Speaker 1: be honest, like I can't. That's amazing, Like I never 644 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:39,720 Speaker 1: have experienced in that kind of help. So you are lucky, 645 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,520 Speaker 1: and they do sound awesome. So in order to get 646 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:47,120 Speaker 1: them pass, I think probably emphasizing you know what your 647 00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:51,720 Speaker 1: plans are logistically might be helpful. I also have this 648 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,600 Speaker 1: sneaking suspicion that once this child is reality, even like 649 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,880 Speaker 1: an ultrasound picture, they would probably get super super excited 650 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,040 Speaker 1: because they'd realize, oh my god, as another grandchild, Like 651 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 1: they all the overwhelment just melt away when they were 652 00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,400 Speaker 1: realizing it was a new baby. Yeah, that was my thought. Yeah, 653 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:09,279 Speaker 1: I think Also, I mean, because this woman was an 654 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:12,800 Speaker 1: only child, she probably has a very sort of the 655 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:16,759 Speaker 1: relationship she has with her parents, maybe different than people 656 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,600 Speaker 1: who were part of bigger families growing up, that she 657 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:25,120 Speaker 1: may assign a certain value to their input that other 658 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:30,120 Speaker 1: people might not. You know what I'm saying. Just that's 659 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:33,200 Speaker 1: hard because they were your whole family. It's not like 660 00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:37,840 Speaker 1: there's anyone else but part of adulthood is realizing that 661 00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:42,160 Speaker 1: you don't need parental approval or permission for your life choices. 662 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:44,080 Speaker 1: And as she said, they live out of state, I 663 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,120 Speaker 1: mean they flew into help with the kids on special occasions, 664 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,840 Speaker 1: so it's not like they're providing forty hours of childcare 665 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,520 Speaker 1: every week, and thus might even have more of a 666 00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:54,520 Speaker 1: sort of say in this, like they don't. If you 667 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,800 Speaker 1: want to have another kid, that is between you and 668 00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:00,879 Speaker 1: your partner. It's really not them. And if you want 669 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:04,239 Speaker 1: to travel, you'll travel. You'll figure something out. You may yeah, 670 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,959 Speaker 1: like Sarah said, send the older kids to the grant 671 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,480 Speaker 1: and parents and have a sitter for the younger one 672 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:13,000 Speaker 1: or something. I also suspect, like Sarah said, if you 673 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:14,880 Speaker 1: have a third kid, your parents will totally dote on 674 00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:18,080 Speaker 1: the child. They will never ever suggest that this child 675 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:22,320 Speaker 1: should not exist, like once the kid actually exists, just 676 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,879 Speaker 1: in terms of thinking what's going on. I think it's 677 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,360 Speaker 1: also possible, aside from the ten day trip to India 678 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,680 Speaker 1: that they just lived through, that your parents may be 679 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:36,440 Speaker 1: hearing criticism of their choice to have one child. Every 680 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:39,600 Speaker 1: time you talk about how wonderful and amazing your children's 681 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:43,040 Speaker 1: sibling relationship is you know, we might wish that everyone 682 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,319 Speaker 1: was mature enough to be happy for other people without 683 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,160 Speaker 1: assuming that all such statements are judgments on them. But 684 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:51,160 Speaker 1: this is not the way human nature works. And you 685 00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:53,160 Speaker 1: don't know that if this was maybe a sore point 686 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,359 Speaker 1: between your parents, maybe they argued over how many kids 687 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,319 Speaker 1: they were going to have, maybe their extended family gave 688 00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,759 Speaker 1: them grief only having one, and so they've learned to 689 00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,320 Speaker 1: be very focused on why that was the right choice, 690 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,840 Speaker 1: and just because it's not the right choice for you, 691 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,560 Speaker 1: they still have this conversation going. So you know, sometimes 692 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,400 Speaker 1: when people make sweeping statements, it's because they've had to 693 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:17,200 Speaker 1: work very hard at convincing themselves. The one last thing 694 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:21,040 Speaker 1: I would bring up is also possible is that your 695 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:25,840 Speaker 1: parents may be very invested in your professional success. This 696 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,000 Speaker 1: is another thing that can happen sometimes as an only child, 697 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,440 Speaker 1: that they are very proud of you and all you've accomplished, 698 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:35,759 Speaker 1: and they are very that's part of their identity that 699 00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:40,239 Speaker 1: they've raised this person who's professionally successful, and they may 700 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:44,240 Speaker 1: think that a third kid will tank that. And because 701 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,279 Speaker 1: it's possible that they don't know any women who have 702 00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:51,320 Speaker 1: big careers and have three children or more children. But 703 00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:54,520 Speaker 1: because you are a best of both world listener, you 704 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:58,000 Speaker 1: know that it's entirely possible to have a bigger family 705 00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,799 Speaker 1: and still have a big career. So well, yeah, maybe 706 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:04,080 Speaker 1: just tell them to listen to this podcast and ooh 707 00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:09,440 Speaker 1: there you go. What a good plug, good idea. All right, 708 00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:13,520 Speaker 1: so real quick, Sarah, Love of the Week. Yes, so 709 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:15,480 Speaker 1: we went on a movie date and it was so fun, 710 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,160 Speaker 1: So more movie dates. I enjoyed that and the movie 711 00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,880 Speaker 1: I loved, which was Knives Out, and it was just 712 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,040 Speaker 1: like the quintessential movie date movie, just like a little, 713 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:30,919 Speaker 1: tight little story. It's perfect, perfect. Yeah. I in twenty 714 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:34,000 Speaker 1: my Love of the Week twenty nineteen, I've had a 715 00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,680 Speaker 1: lot more to sort of interactions with other writers in 716 00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,719 Speaker 1: terms of strategies, Like I have a strategy group that 717 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,239 Speaker 1: meets regularly. I went to a mastermind, Like there's all 718 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:45,440 Speaker 1: sorts of people I've gotten to know through that context 719 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:47,880 Speaker 1: and workshop ideas with and it's been really great, Like 720 00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:51,040 Speaker 1: just this idea of creating your own colleagues in a 721 00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:54,080 Speaker 1: business that is often very independent, and so I plan 722 00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:57,560 Speaker 1: to continue to do more of that in twenty twenty. 723 00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,480 Speaker 1: All right, Well, this has been best of Both Worlds. 724 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:04,000 Speaker 1: We've been doing our year in Review episode. We will 725 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:06,080 Speaker 1: be back next week with more on making work and 726 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:10,640 Speaker 1: life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find me 727 00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:14,760 Speaker 1: Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore 728 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:18,759 Speaker 1: Shoebox on Instagram, and you can find me Laura at 729 00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:22,040 Speaker 1: Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best of 730 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:25,839 Speaker 1: Both Worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more 731 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,000 Speaker 1: on making work and life work together.