WEBVTT - Miss Gypsy Rose Blanchard 0:00:08.760 --> 0:00:14.400 Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. So I slid 0:00:14.400 --> 0:00:20.319 into your DMS, yes, which is so bizarre, Like I 0:00:20.320 --> 0:00:22.680 don't know. People always think it's like you know someone 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:25.120 that's looking to hook up, like I always talk about like, oh, 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:28.440 that guy slid into my DMS and here I am. 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:31.120 But it was, like mom based, it was when you 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:35.320 announced you were pregnant, So mom to mom, I slid 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:39.880 into your DMS to just say hi, and you responded, 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:45.519 and we've carried on this DM relationship until May. And 0:00:45.600 --> 0:00:48.680 who is it that news? You didn't know? You didn't 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:52.360 watch Beverly Hills. I know, no, right, but you're she. 0:00:52.560 --> 0:00:55.240 Is a huge fan. She's actually in the living room 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:59.400 right now and I can meet her. You do she 0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:05.160 she is not ready, but hey, Crassy Torri wants. 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:07.640 To meet you. Oh, tell her to take her time. 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:09.480 We can talk and then she could come in when 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:10.240 she feels. 0:01:09.920 --> 0:01:17.479 Ready because I don't know get ready. 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:22.720 So I gosh, I don't even know where to jump in. 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:26.720 Like I feel like I came into this interview interview. 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:30.960 It's not an interview, it's a podcast chat amongst friends. 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:34.280 But I came into this thinking, gosh, what do I 0:01:34.319 --> 0:01:36.440 even talk to her about like, I feel like, do 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:41.800 you feel talked to death? God? No pun intended, excuse 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:47.199 my slips. I make jokes when I get nervous about 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:49.840 talking about your past. 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:53.520 I mean I think that, yeah, I mean I'm tired 0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:56.760 of talking about it. I think that, like at this point, 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:02.680 you know, my my parole ends day after tomorrow, so 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:08.200 on the twenty sixth, finally will be free woman to 0:02:08.320 --> 0:02:08.840 the max. 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:12.720 And then you guys are gonna come visit me in La. 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:14.760 I mean I would love to, We would love to. 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:18.600 But yeah, I mean I do feel like everything is 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:23.960 sort of like talked about, and I've entered a completely 0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:25.960 new phase in my life where it's like that was 0:02:26.040 --> 0:02:33.120 my past. I am completely moving forward with everything in 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:35.919 my life, with with motherhood and and I just have 0:02:36.120 --> 0:02:40.160 so much going for me that like nobody got anywhere 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:43.320 in life by kept on looking in the rear view mirror. 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:44.840 So I'm like, I just. 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:50.880 Have my eyes forward, definitely. And I mean, you you 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:54.480 don't want that to define you. No, there's so much 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:57.960 more to any human than what they're past has offered 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:02.600 them up. But do you And this sounds really so 0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:07.639 and I'm sorry, but do you feel like, and god, 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:10.400 I don't even want to liken this to my situation, 0:03:10.480 --> 0:03:12.560 but I'm trying to find ways to connect with you 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:19.760 obviously like your future. Do you feel like that kind 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:23.400 of opened up doorways in a positive way? I mean, 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:26.520 let's talk positive about the situation. There's so much negative, 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:29.720 you know, it's kind of like, you know what, I 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:31.760 have been an actress and my father didn't open the 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:35.360 door and give me a platform, give me a TV show? No, 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:39.000 maybe not. Do you feel like in is there any 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:43.480 positive to what has happened that you are given opportunities now, 0:03:43.480 --> 0:03:46.760 maybe to help others, maybe to you know, fulfill dreams 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:50.960 that you thought. Gosh, everyone's focused on my past, But 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:52.360 is there a good way? 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:55.280 I mean, I feel like I've been I've been trying 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:58.480 to do that for so long. When I was in prison, 0:03:58.960 --> 0:04:02.160 it was so vocult to be able to sort of 0:04:02.400 --> 0:04:06.520 rebrand myself because it's like I was still in the 0:04:06.560 --> 0:04:10.600 middle of living in it. And now that I'm entering 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:12.880 into a new phase in my life, I feel like, 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:15.600 only now could I start to kind of look back 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:19.760 and say, you know, yeah, I mean I came from 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:22.920 you know, I became well known from a tragic situation 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:26.600 on both ends. It's like, I'm a victim and I'm 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:31.680 a perpetrator. So getting out of the shadow of that 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:34.760 is the hardest thing. To be able to have a 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:39.040 platform to which to stand on that is respected. It's 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:41.680 like I feel like it is only whenever I can 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:45.320 break out of that mold that defines me. And it's like, 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:48.839 I don't want to be defined, but unfortunately I am. 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:52.160 The reality is I am, And so what is the 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:56.880 course of action moving forward? It's taking accountability and saying, 0:04:57.160 --> 0:05:01.200 you know what, yes, I I am branded a murderer 0:05:01.480 --> 0:05:05.159 and I did do the crime. I did do the time. 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:10.680 Owning up to my actions is what it's all about 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:14.359 and saying I'm not perfect, I made wrong choices, but 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:17.680 this is what I'm doing today to try to move forward. 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:18.640 I can never. 0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:21.840 Bring back the life that was taken. I can never 0:05:22.240 --> 0:05:26.200 unhurt the people that were hurt, but I can at 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:30.040 least try and do some good with it. And I've 0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:33.360 been trying to break out into advocacy and I've been 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:35.039 trying to figure out what that looks like for me. 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:40.640 What am I passionate about. I'm passionate about prison reform, 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:45.280 I'm passionate about the fact that there is. So you know, 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:48.320 if if anybody's watched my show, they can tell that 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:52.480 I've gone through it with haters online. So I'm kind 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:55.360 of stepping into the realm of saying, hey, I'm experienced 0:05:55.520 --> 0:05:59.919 in being cyberbullied and I don't think it's right and 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:01.800 there are some things in the system that need to 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:07.960 change to have better preventative measures from cyberbully. So it's 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:10.640 kind of like, I have a voice, now, let's figure 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:14.040 out a way to direct it somewhere in a positive manner. 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:18.880 And I wouldn't have this platform if I didn't, you know, 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:23.440 do what I did. But it's like, you can't change 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:26.560 the past, so what can you do? Mold it to 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:30.119 where you can better other people in the world and 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:33.040 do something with that voice? 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:35.200 And do you I don't know, you might already do this. 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:39.120 Do you talk to people or are you an advocate 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:44.200 for Munchausen proxy like working with people that have that. 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:47.320 I want to talk to several victims that have shared 0:06:47.360 --> 0:06:50.760 their story. That's why I open myself up on social 0:06:50.839 --> 0:06:54.240 media is because there has been so many people that 0:06:54.279 --> 0:06:56.839 have come to me and then shared their story on 0:06:56.880 --> 0:06:59.719 a personal level, and I didn't blast them out. I'm like, 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:02.479 it's your story to tell. If you want me to, 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:05.440 you know, bring more awareness to your situation, I will 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:08.880 do that. But whatever you say stays between you and I. 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:12.800 That's just that kind of safe space that I have 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:17.000 created for people. But I do want to get more 0:07:17.120 --> 0:07:22.640 involved with organizations, and I have already had several conversations 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:26.760 with munch House and biproxy experts to kind of lead 0:07:26.800 --> 0:07:32.040 me in the direction and also make me more knowledgeable. 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:34.840 Because I can only go on my personal experience. There 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:38.440 are so many different people that have gone through much 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:41.200 House and biproxy but had a different experience. 0:07:41.680 --> 0:07:43.240 Sorry, I think I said the wrong name. 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:45.920 Oh you're fine. It's a more hard word to say. 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:50.320 So it is definitely, but you believe, like deep down 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:52.280 your soul is that what your mom had. 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:56.520 I do. I do. Even the doctor the doctors had 0:07:56.520 --> 0:08:01.080 put in the medical records, mother is suspected having MUCHILDS 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:07.360 and biproxy. And that's that's Unfortunately, where the system is 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:11.680 failing is there's not enough education about mu Chius and biproxy. 0:08:11.960 --> 0:08:15.200 There is probably about a paragraph that doctors learned about 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:17.400 in school. It's not enough. 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:29.040 I mean, it's a mental illness. I feel like we're 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:31.640 now in a society in twenty twenty five that everyone 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:36.000 is so focused on mental health. It's kind of it 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:39.800 is strange that that's there's not more light given to that, 0:08:40.679 --> 0:08:43.640 right do you I've read that it's like the heart 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:46.200 like not curable. Do you feel like she could have 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:46.680 been cured? 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:51.600 I feel like I feel like the system failed her 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:54.880 just as much as the system failed me. Because you 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:58.680 have to remember, she grew up in the you know, eighties, 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:02.000 and you know, I was born in the nineties, and 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:05.160 mental health wasn't talked about as much as it is now, 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:12.240 and so her own family did not recognize those signs. 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:14.040 They just kind of was like, Okay, she's the black 0:09:14.200 --> 0:09:17.200 sheep of the family, she's a little weird. They just 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:20.240 categorized her like that and didn't look into the fact 0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:24.520 that she did have trauma, those things that happened to 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:26.959 her in her childhood that caused her to have trauma 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:33.120 and it went unchecked. She was supposed to be on medication, 0:09:33.920 --> 0:09:36.120 she did not take her medication like she should have 0:09:37.200 --> 0:09:39.200 or at all once we moved to Missouri. 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:43.840 So that's interesting. I wouldn't know why she didn't, Like 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:46.440 she was all about giving you medication and giving but 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:50.280 she didn't take her own. And did you know she 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:51.360 was on medication at the. 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:53.960 Time when I was you know, I grew up with 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:56.400 a mother that said that she saw you know, shapes 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:59.920 and shadows and her voices. So it's like I knew 0:09:59.920 --> 0:10:03.400 that she had a lady that would come to the house. 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:06.440 And this is when we lived in Louisiana, So I 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:09.280 may have been thirteen, fourteen years old, and I knew 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:10.440 that there was a lady that would come to the 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:13.000 house to talk to her, but I still didn't understand 0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:15.200 the scope of you know, who that lady was. And 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:19.760 she was a therapist and her psychiatrist. So when we 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.520 moved to Missouri, she didn't follow up with her care 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:27.080 and she wasn't put on her medication because she wasn't 0:10:27.120 --> 0:10:31.360 seeing any plenty anymore. And so it's like that is 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:33.959 where the system failed her. Is I feel like if 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:36.160 she had been put on medication, if she had the 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:41.800 support system that she needed, I feel like things would 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:42.920 have been very different. 0:10:43.760 --> 0:10:46.880 Okay, And at what point did you realize that you 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:47.679 weren't sick? 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:52.160 I mean Honestly, I always knew that I could walk, 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:55.040 and I talked about this in my book, My Time 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:57.640 to Stand. I knew that I could walk, but it's 0:10:57.720 --> 0:11:01.360 kind of like growing up, my mom said that I 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:05.040 had all these medical issues starting off with sleep apnea, 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:09.160 then a seizure and disorder from birth, so from infancy, 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:14.320 so growing up it was sort of distorted what I 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:16.480 knew that I had and what I didn't know. It 0:11:16.520 --> 0:11:19.599 wasn't until my later teen years that I started to 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:22.199 kind of piece together, well, I haven't had a seizure. 0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:27.760 I don't I don't feel like I have epilepsy. And 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.560 then it wasn't until I got arrested that I knew 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:36.320 the full scope of I'm perfectly healthy. 0:11:37.679 --> 0:11:40.160 And what happened, like what happens now? When you feel sick, 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:41.240 do you doubt yourself? 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:42.200 No? 0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:42.720 I mean. 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:47.880 Typically I just get like the common cold, but I 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:50.800 am I am hesitant to like go to doctors I 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:52.680 feel like And I was the same way in prison. 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.280 I wasn't one of those inmates I would go to 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:58.200 the sick bay for anything. I'd be like, Okay, I 0:11:58.240 --> 0:12:01.280 have to really like have run titus or something to 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:02.160 want to go to the. 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:05.079 Doctor because they failed you exactly. 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:06.920 It's just I'm a little mistrusting. 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:12.360 I understand. I just don't understand how doctors didn't see 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:15.040 that you were healthy, or if they did, she would 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:16.200 just take you to another doctor. 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:21.640 Yes, so that is very common, which with parents with 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:26.040 Munchausen by promiss. So all the test results were coming 0:12:26.080 --> 0:12:32.720 back normal, So it is very questionable and I still 0:12:32.800 --> 0:12:36.240 question it to this day, like why is the test 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:39.920 results coming back normal? But you're going off of just 0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:41.960 what my mother said alone? 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:48.560 Right? And do you feel congratulations on Aurora? Oh? 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:52.360 Thank you. Christ's looking after right now. I was like, 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:55.240 I do this podcast, Please look after Herry. 0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:59.079 We'll get you back to her soon. Has she been 0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:00.360 sick at all so far? 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:05.400 No, she hasn't. It's funny because it's like for me, 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:10.760 I'm hesitant with doctors, but for her, I'm like I 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:13.960 feel like I'm normal. I'm like, if she's sick, I'm 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:16.400 gonna take her to the doctor. If she's fine, there's 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:19.319 no reason too, you know. And also it's like I'm 0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:22.920 not doing it alone. Ken is also there with me, 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:27.040 So that's kind of like that I'm grateful that I 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:30.599 am at that point where It's like I'm not projecting 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:32.800 my mistrust on dry or care. 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:37.280 Yeah, I'm curious when she gets sick. I'm not gonna 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:41.000 what she doesn't, but just anything in common, if that is, 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:43.959 will be a trigger for you. I don't know. 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:47.600 I know that I definitely ask a lot of questions. 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.000 I'm kind of like, you know, is this shot needed? 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:56.240 Is this normal? Is this standard? I definitely question a lot. 0:13:56.280 --> 0:13:57.400 I asked a lot of questions. 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:03.200 You're a mom, then take everything that's happened to you 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:08.480 out like your normal, especially it's your first born. Yes, 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:12.000 oh my gosh. I remember my first two. They would 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:15.000 just barely like sneeze and'd be like, oh my god, 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:16.400 we have to go to the emergency room. Like it 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:20.240 was always a big deal. And I know, you know, 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:24.960 becoming a parent it puts into such perspective our parents. 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:28.760 I know. I felt like when I had my first baby, 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:34.720 I felt differently about my mom because I saw like, 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:40.200 oh wow, this is everything changed. Yeah, did your relationship 0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:42.400 with your mom was put into a different light when 0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:43.520 Aurora was born? 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:49.400 It was in a pretty impactful way. I she was 0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:52.640 probably about three weeks old to three weeks old, and 0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:56.200 I was sitting in the rocket chair and I was 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:59.760 feeding her and I was folding her and I just 0:14:59.800 --> 0:15:02.800 love looked at her. And as I was holding her, 0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:09.720 it was like I got hit by a truck of emotions, anger, 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:14.920 disappointment in my mom looking at how like how much 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:20.240 I love my daughter. I'm like, I could never imagine 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:27.080 how anybody could hurt, harm or do anything to their child, 0:15:28.280 --> 0:15:31.880 their own flesh and blood like what my mom did 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:34.200 to me. And it was like I felt like I 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:38.120 had hit a level where I was coming to forgive her. 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:44.280 I was coming around to claim myself as healed. And 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:47.440 that happened, and then I'm like back to square one, 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:52.920 and I'm just like I never I'm choosing to never 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:57.200 let my daughter go through anything like what I went through. 0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:01.360 I feel like when any of us have kids, we 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:06.520 definitely the mother daughter relationship is one of the most 0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:09.480 complicated ones. Like it's definitely different than a mother and 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:12.680 their son. As you'll see, Do you want more kids? 0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:13.520 I do? 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:18.280 I do, but we will have to use IVF for 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:21.960 our next one because the one medical condition that I 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:27.000 actually do have, it's called micro deletion one Q one 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:33.160 point one. So it's just a long word for I'm 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:37.480 missing a small piece in each of my first chromosome, 0:16:38.360 --> 0:16:41.800 so that is something that could potentially be passed down 0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:45.720 to every child that I have. My child, every child 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:47.240 that I have, has a fifty to fifty shot of 0:16:47.600 --> 0:16:51.920 having it. Aurora has been tested and she came back negative, 0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:55.800 thank God, so it was not pastor her. But as 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:58.720 a preventative measure, we will go through IVF for our 0:16:58.760 --> 0:17:00.680 next one. 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:01.920 Do you want a boy? 0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:04.800 We do want a boy girl? 0:17:06.200 --> 0:17:10.480 The perfect formula. I know I had one boy, one girl, 0:17:10.720 --> 0:17:14.479 and then I kept going and going and going, and 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:17.760 you know, at five, I like, if I could just 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:20.720 have one more, have six, I'd have three boys and 0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:24.840 three girls. But yeah, like a big family you want 0:17:25.440 --> 0:17:25.800 just too? 0:17:26.600 --> 0:17:30.159 Probably just too I say that now. You never know 0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:32.320 what the future holds, but just two for now. 0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:38.320 On the horide, do you think you will forgive your 0:17:38.320 --> 0:17:42.439 mom one day? If you've been close to it? Do 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:43.720 you think it could get closer? 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:45.920 I think close to it, so I think I could 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:50.399 get back there. I think the important thing that brings 0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:55.280 me closer to forgiveness is you know the fact that 0:17:56.080 --> 0:18:01.679 she was a victim, but not only my victim. She 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:06.000 was also victimized by her grandfather, I mean her father, 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:13.359 which was my grandfather. She suffered child abuse herself. I 0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:18.840 feel like that humanizes her in my mind, and I'm 0:18:18.840 --> 0:18:22.080 able to relate a little bit on that level. So 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:28.600 looking at her, not as you know, the mother that 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:33.000 abused me, the mother that kept me from having a 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:39.080 normal life, looking at her at a different angle is 0:18:39.119 --> 0:18:41.959 I think what's going to get me there? And I 0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:45.480 talked to a Munchausen by proxy expert and the one 0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:50.520 question I kept having that I never knew and didn't 0:18:50.520 --> 0:18:55.359 have any clarification on is was my mother aware of 0:18:55.400 --> 0:19:00.760 what she was doing? Was there that culpability there? And 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:05.560 the expert told me yes, she was aware. People that 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:11.640 have that are aware of what they're doing. So unfortunately, 0:19:11.640 --> 0:19:14.160 that's just something that, like now, I have to kind 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:16.880 of cope with and that's a hard pill to swallow. 0:19:17.880 --> 0:19:20.840 Do you feel the need to defend your mom? 0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:25.320 Yeinning I did. In the beginning. I kind of was 0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:29.680 like I had just got arrested and I didn't want 0:19:29.720 --> 0:19:34.920 my mom's memory tarnished. I was still in this kind 0:19:34.920 --> 0:19:38.280 of I hate her, I love her friend of mine, 0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:40.640 So it was like I didn't want people to look 0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:44.560 at her like a bad mom, because I'm like, there's 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:48.399 nothing left of her but a memory. You know, at 0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:50.960 the end of it all, there's nothing left but our reputation, 0:19:51.240 --> 0:19:56.320 our legacy, and what is hers. So it's like, I 0:19:56.320 --> 0:20:01.280 don't like it when people call her a bad person. 0:20:01.520 --> 0:20:03.080 I'm going to say she was a perfect person. 0:20:03.119 --> 0:20:03.680 She wasn't. 0:20:04.560 --> 0:20:07.960 But I also it's not their place, and then it 0:20:08.000 --> 0:20:10.720 can go what I went through to talk about my mom? 0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:11.840 Does that make. 0:20:11.760 --> 0:20:16.320 Sense one hundred percent? Because everyone has an opinion, and 0:20:16.359 --> 0:20:20.159 when it's your own human you feel the need to 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:22.919 defend on any level. I mean, obviously what you went 0:20:22.960 --> 0:20:26.320 through is extreme, but everyone, like I think personally, if 0:20:26.359 --> 0:20:30.400 someone like, uh talks shit about your family member, you're like, no, no, no, 0:20:30.600 --> 0:20:31.400 wait wait wait. 0:20:31.359 --> 0:20:31.920 No, it's mine. 0:20:32.040 --> 0:20:33.879 I can feel that way because I go through it, 0:20:34.000 --> 0:20:38.919 have been through it. You it's like off limits. Yeah, definitely. 0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:43.119 Did you obviously you're on text and everything. Did you 0:20:43.200 --> 0:20:47.719 ever look up online symptoms of what your mom had? 0:20:48.440 --> 0:20:50.800 I didn't because while she was still alive. 0:20:51.400 --> 0:20:54.920 No, I didn't, because it's like I thought my mom 0:20:55.080 --> 0:21:00.359 was like literally just you know, I just about that 0:21:00.800 --> 0:21:04.359 she was just that way. I tossed it up like 0:21:05.080 --> 0:21:10.440 she's a controlling, helicopter bad mom that you know, it's 0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:16.000 just so controlling. So I didn't really know that there 0:21:16.200 --> 0:21:19.960 was a diagnosis for it, and then that other moms 0:21:20.040 --> 0:21:24.080 and other caregivers and other parents have this. I didn't 0:21:24.080 --> 0:21:24.720 know it was a thing. 0:21:34.200 --> 0:21:37.919 Was there anyone in your outside circle slash inner circle 0:21:38.520 --> 0:21:41.080 during that time? Like did you have friends? Did you 0:21:41.119 --> 0:21:42.119 have people you talked to? 0:21:43.480 --> 0:21:47.240 Was there was, you know, people that were friends with 0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:51.000 my mom and there were people that, you know, I 0:21:51.080 --> 0:21:56.000 felt like maybe I could trust on a certain level, 0:21:56.080 --> 0:21:58.480 but then the fear of would they tell my mom 0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:03.800 would always my mind. As for like other peers, I 0:22:03.880 --> 0:22:05.200 didn't go to public. 0:22:04.880 --> 0:22:08.480 School and your homeschool. 0:22:08.960 --> 0:22:10.720 I was homeschooled. 0:22:11.920 --> 0:22:14.800 To homeschool you, h Yeah. 0:22:14.880 --> 0:22:17.560 She homeschooled me from like like a young age, so 0:22:17.680 --> 0:22:20.360 maybe eight years old, and then there was no schooling 0:22:20.400 --> 0:22:24.880 after that. There was like no public school, no homeschool, 0:22:25.440 --> 0:22:29.520 nothing after the age of eight, and I got my 0:22:29.600 --> 0:22:30.639 ged in prison. 0:22:32.040 --> 0:22:36.359 That's so interesting because I've watched everything on you and 0:22:36.440 --> 0:22:39.360 not a stalker, the whole world just watch everything on you. 0:22:39.720 --> 0:22:43.200 I want to read your book, but it's just you 0:22:43.560 --> 0:22:45.000 are so well spoken. 0:22:45.640 --> 0:22:47.560 Thank you, Thank you that. 0:22:47.800 --> 0:22:51.080 I was curious about the schooling because it didn't from 0:22:51.119 --> 0:22:54.639 what's been put out there, it didn't appear that you did. 0:22:54.800 --> 0:22:58.440 So I was like, you're so smart and so informed 0:22:58.480 --> 0:23:01.240 and to speak so well that I thought, oh, for 0:23:01.320 --> 0:23:04.240 sure she did. So you got your GD in prison. 0:23:04.640 --> 0:23:06.879 Yes, I had to start from the ground up, because 0:23:06.920 --> 0:23:11.320 when I got to prison, I basically I knew how 0:23:11.320 --> 0:23:16.959 to add small numbers. I knew how to like write, read, write, 0:23:17.400 --> 0:23:20.600 but my problem was not good. It's like I would 0:23:21.920 --> 0:23:24.680 I would make a grocery list and I would spell spaghetti, 0:23:24.920 --> 0:23:29.399 spaggy spaggymules and stuff like that. So I had to 0:23:29.480 --> 0:23:31.680 learn multiplication, division. 0:23:32.359 --> 0:23:35.520 You know, all of it from the ground. 0:23:37.480 --> 0:23:39.560 Wait till you start getting into polynomials. 0:23:40.520 --> 0:23:45.840 I had to learn all of that. Now that you're 0:23:45.920 --> 0:23:52.120 I mean, your parole is up in tomorrow, day after tomorrow, tomorrow, sorry, 0:23:52.240 --> 0:23:58.200 forty forty eight hours, My goodness. Would you ever go 0:23:58.240 --> 0:23:58.800 to college? 0:24:00.320 --> 0:24:03.960 Like to to go to a trade school. I've always 0:24:04.040 --> 0:24:08.080 had an interest in hair, makeup, nails, so I would 0:24:08.160 --> 0:24:13.120 love to do something with a cosmetology license. There is 0:24:13.240 --> 0:24:16.720 a cosmetology school. There's actually a couple in New Orleans 0:24:16.760 --> 0:24:18.440 that I have looked into. 0:24:18.359 --> 0:24:23.199 So maybe that would be amazing. By the way your 0:24:23.240 --> 0:24:29.960 nose looks bomb, thank you. I'm very happy had rhinoplasty before. 0:24:31.440 --> 0:24:34.480 Was that just a game changer? It was? I thought 0:24:34.480 --> 0:24:36.440 you looked beautiful before. It really doesn't. 0:24:36.880 --> 0:24:39.440 Don't even try lie, It's okay. 0:24:39.280 --> 0:24:43.480 I'm not lying. Okay, your profile was iffy. But other 0:24:43.560 --> 0:24:47.320 than that, I look back on it. I you were great. 0:24:48.560 --> 0:24:52.800 Because like I liked you know, I did so much 0:24:52.880 --> 0:24:55.679 mind the front. It was just the side profile and 0:24:56.240 --> 0:25:00.760