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Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. So I slid

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Speaker 1: into your DMS, yes, which is so bizarre, Like I

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Speaker 1: don't know. People always think it's like you know someone

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Speaker 1: that's looking to hook up, like I always talk about like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that guy slid into my DMS and here I am.

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Speaker 1: But it was, like mom based, it was when you

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Speaker 1: announced you were pregnant, So mom to mom, I slid

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Speaker 1: into your DMS to just say hi, and you responded,

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Speaker 1: and we've carried on this DM relationship until May. And

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Speaker 1: who is it that news? You didn't know? You didn't

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Speaker 1: watch Beverly Hills. I know, no, right, but you're she.

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Speaker 2: Is a huge fan. She's actually in the living room

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Speaker 2: right now and I can meet her. You do she

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Speaker 2: she is not ready, but hey, Crassy Torri wants.

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Speaker 1: To meet you. Oh, tell her to take her time.

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Speaker 1: We can talk and then she could come in when

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Speaker 1: she feels.

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Speaker 2: Ready because I don't know get ready.

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Speaker 1: So I gosh, I don't even know where to jump in.

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Speaker 1: Like I feel like I came into this interview interview.

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Speaker 1: It's not an interview, it's a podcast chat amongst friends.

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Speaker 1: But I came into this thinking, gosh, what do I

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Speaker 1: even talk to her about like, I feel like, do

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Speaker 1: you feel talked to death? God? No pun intended, excuse

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Speaker 1: my slips. I make jokes when I get nervous about

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Speaker 1: talking about your past.

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Speaker 2: I mean I think that, yeah, I mean I'm tired

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Speaker 2: of talking about it. I think that, like at this point,

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Speaker 2: you know, my my parole ends day after tomorrow, so

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Speaker 2: on the twenty sixth, finally will be free woman to

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Speaker 2: the max.

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Speaker 1: And then you guys are gonna come visit me in La.

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Speaker 2: I mean I would love to, We would love to.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean I do feel like everything is

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Speaker 2: sort of like talked about, and I've entered a completely

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Speaker 2: new phase in my life where it's like that was

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Speaker 2: my past. I am completely moving forward with everything in

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Speaker 2: my life, with with motherhood and and I just have

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Speaker 2: so much going for me that like nobody got anywhere

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Speaker 2: in life by kept on looking in the rear view mirror.

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Speaker 2: So I'm like, I just.

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Speaker 1: Have my eyes forward, definitely. And I mean, you you

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Speaker 1: don't want that to define you. No, there's so much

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Speaker 1: more to any human than what they're past has offered

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Speaker 1: them up. But do you And this sounds really so

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Speaker 1: and I'm sorry, but do you feel like, and god,

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Speaker 1: I don't even want to liken this to my situation,

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Speaker 1: but I'm trying to find ways to connect with you

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Speaker 1: obviously like your future. Do you feel like that kind

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Speaker 1: of opened up doorways in a positive way? I mean,

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Speaker 1: let's talk positive about the situation. There's so much negative,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's kind of like, you know what, I

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Speaker 1: have been an actress and my father didn't open the

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Speaker 1: door and give me a platform, give me a TV show? No,

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Speaker 1: maybe not. Do you feel like in is there any

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Speaker 1: positive to what has happened that you are given opportunities now,

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Speaker 1: maybe to help others, maybe to you know, fulfill dreams

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Speaker 1: that you thought. Gosh, everyone's focused on my past, But

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Speaker 1: is there a good way?

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Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like I've been I've been trying

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Speaker 2: to do that for so long. When I was in prison,

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Speaker 2: it was so vocult to be able to sort of

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Speaker 2: rebrand myself because it's like I was still in the

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Speaker 2: middle of living in it. And now that I'm entering

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Speaker 2: into a new phase in my life, I feel like,

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Speaker 2: only now could I start to kind of look back

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Speaker 2: and say, you know, yeah, I mean I came from

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Speaker 2: you know, I became well known from a tragic situation

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Speaker 2: on both ends. It's like, I'm a victim and I'm

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Speaker 2: a perpetrator. So getting out of the shadow of that

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Speaker 2: is the hardest thing. To be able to have a

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Speaker 2: platform to which to stand on that is respected. It's

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Speaker 2: like I feel like it is only whenever I can

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Speaker 2: break out of that mold that defines me. And it's like,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to be defined, but unfortunately I am.

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Speaker 2: The reality is I am, And so what is the

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Speaker 2: course of action moving forward? It's taking accountability and saying,

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Speaker 2: you know what, yes, I I am branded a murderer

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Speaker 2: and I did do the crime. I did do the time.

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Speaker 2: Owning up to my actions is what it's all about

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Speaker 2: and saying I'm not perfect, I made wrong choices, but

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Speaker 2: this is what I'm doing today to try to move forward.

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Speaker 1: I can never.

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Speaker 2: Bring back the life that was taken. I can never

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Speaker 2: unhurt the people that were hurt, but I can at

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Speaker 2: least try and do some good with it. And I've

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Speaker 2: been trying to break out into advocacy and I've been

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Speaker 2: trying to figure out what that looks like for me.

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Speaker 2: What am I passionate about. I'm passionate about prison reform,

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Speaker 2: I'm passionate about the fact that there is. So you know,

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Speaker 2: if if anybody's watched my show, they can tell that

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Speaker 2: I've gone through it with haters online. So I'm kind

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Speaker 2: of stepping into the realm of saying, hey, I'm experienced

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Speaker 2: in being cyberbullied and I don't think it's right and

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Speaker 2: there are some things in the system that need to

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Speaker 2: change to have better preventative measures from cyberbully. So it's

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Speaker 2: kind of like, I have a voice, now, let's figure

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Speaker 2: out a way to direct it somewhere in a positive manner.

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Speaker 2: And I wouldn't have this platform if I didn't, you know,

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Speaker 2: do what I did. But it's like, you can't change

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Speaker 2: the past, so what can you do? Mold it to

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Speaker 2: where you can better other people in the world and

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Speaker 2: do something with that voice?

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Speaker 1: And do you I don't know, you might already do this.

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Speaker 1: Do you talk to people or are you an advocate

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Speaker 1: for Munchausen proxy like working with people that have that.

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Speaker 2: I want to talk to several victims that have shared

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Speaker 2: their story. That's why I open myself up on social

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Speaker 2: media is because there has been so many people that

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Speaker 2: have come to me and then shared their story on

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Speaker 2: a personal level, and I didn't blast them out. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: it's your story to tell. If you want me to,

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Speaker 2: you know, bring more awareness to your situation, I will

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Speaker 2: do that. But whatever you say stays between you and I.

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Speaker 2: That's just that kind of safe space that I have

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Speaker 2: created for people. But I do want to get more

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Speaker 2: involved with organizations, and I have already had several conversations

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Speaker 2: with munch House and biproxy experts to kind of lead

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Speaker 2: me in the direction and also make me more knowledgeable.

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Speaker 2: Because I can only go on my personal experience. There

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Speaker 2: are so many different people that have gone through much

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Speaker 2: House and biproxy but had a different experience.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, I think I said the wrong name.

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Speaker 2: Oh you're fine. It's a more hard word to say.

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Speaker 1: So it is definitely, but you believe, like deep down

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Speaker 1: your soul is that what your mom had.

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Speaker 2: I do. I do. Even the doctor the doctors had

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Speaker 2: put in the medical records, mother is suspected having MUCHILDS

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Speaker 2: and biproxy. And that's that's Unfortunately, where the system is

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Speaker 2: failing is there's not enough education about mu Chius and biproxy.

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Speaker 2: There is probably about a paragraph that doctors learned about

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Speaker 2: in school. It's not enough.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's a mental illness. I feel like we're

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Speaker 1: now in a society in twenty twenty five that everyone

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Speaker 1: is so focused on mental health. It's kind of it

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Speaker 1: is strange that that's there's not more light given to that,

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Speaker 1: right do you I've read that it's like the heart

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Speaker 1: like not curable. Do you feel like she could have

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Speaker 1: been cured?

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Speaker 2: I feel like I feel like the system failed her

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Speaker 2: just as much as the system failed me. Because you

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Speaker 2: have to remember, she grew up in the you know, eighties,

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Speaker 2: and you know, I was born in the nineties, and

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Speaker 2: mental health wasn't talked about as much as it is now,

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Speaker 2: and so her own family did not recognize those signs.

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Speaker 2: They just kind of was like, Okay, she's the black

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Speaker 2: sheep of the family, she's a little weird. They just

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Speaker 2: categorized her like that and didn't look into the fact

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Speaker 2: that she did have trauma, those things that happened to

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Speaker 2: her in her childhood that caused her to have trauma

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Speaker 2: and it went unchecked. She was supposed to be on medication,

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Speaker 2: she did not take her medication like she should have

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Speaker 2: or at all once we moved to Missouri.

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Speaker 1: So that's interesting. I wouldn't know why she didn't, Like

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Speaker 1: she was all about giving you medication and giving but

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Speaker 1: she didn't take her own. And did you know she

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Speaker 1: was on medication at the.

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Speaker 2: Time when I was you know, I grew up with

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Speaker 2: a mother that said that she saw you know, shapes

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Speaker 2: and shadows and her voices. So it's like I knew

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Speaker 2: that she had a lady that would come to the house.

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Speaker 2: And this is when we lived in Louisiana, So I

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Speaker 2: may have been thirteen, fourteen years old, and I knew

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Speaker 2: that there was a lady that would come to the

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Speaker 2: house to talk to her, but I still didn't understand

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Speaker 2: the scope of you know, who that lady was. And

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Speaker 2: she was a therapist and her psychiatrist. So when we

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Speaker 2: moved to Missouri, she didn't follow up with her care

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Speaker 2: and she wasn't put on her medication because she wasn't

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Speaker 2: seeing any plenty anymore. And so it's like that is

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Speaker 2: where the system failed her. Is I feel like if

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Speaker 2: she had been put on medication, if she had the

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Speaker 2: support system that she needed, I feel like things would

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Speaker 2: have been very different.

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Speaker 1: Okay, And at what point did you realize that you

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Speaker 1: weren't sick?

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Speaker 2: I mean Honestly, I always knew that I could walk,

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Speaker 2: and I talked about this in my book, My Time

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Speaker 2: to Stand. I knew that I could walk, but it's

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Speaker 2: kind of like growing up, my mom said that I

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Speaker 2: had all these medical issues starting off with sleep apnea,

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Speaker 2: then a seizure and disorder from birth, so from infancy,

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Speaker 2: so growing up it was sort of distorted what I

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Speaker 2: knew that I had and what I didn't know. It

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Speaker 2: wasn't until my later teen years that I started to

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Speaker 2: kind of piece together, well, I haven't had a seizure.

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Speaker 2: I don't I don't feel like I have epilepsy. And

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Speaker 2: then it wasn't until I got arrested that I knew

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Speaker 2: the full scope of I'm perfectly healthy.

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Speaker 1: And what happened, like what happens now? When you feel sick,

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Speaker 1: do you doubt yourself?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: I mean.

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Speaker 2: Typically I just get like the common cold, but I

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Speaker 2: am I am hesitant to like go to doctors I

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Speaker 2: feel like And I was the same way in prison.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't one of those inmates I would go to

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Speaker 2: the sick bay for anything. I'd be like, Okay, I

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Speaker 2: have to really like have run titus or something to

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Speaker 2: want to go to the.

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Speaker 1: Doctor because they failed you exactly.

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Speaker 2: It's just I'm a little mistrusting.

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Speaker 1: I understand. I just don't understand how doctors didn't see

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Speaker 1: that you were healthy, or if they did, she would

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Speaker 1: just take you to another doctor.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so that is very common, which with parents with

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Speaker 2: Munchausen by promiss. So all the test results were coming

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Speaker 2: back normal, So it is very questionable and I still

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Speaker 2: question it to this day, like why is the test

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Speaker 2: results coming back normal? But you're going off of just

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Speaker 2: what my mother said alone?

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Speaker 1: Right? And do you feel congratulations on Aurora? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Thank you. Christ's looking after right now. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I do this podcast, Please look after Herry.

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Speaker 1: We'll get you back to her soon. Has she been

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Speaker 1: sick at all so far?

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Speaker 2: No, she hasn't. It's funny because it's like for me,

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Speaker 2: I'm hesitant with doctors, but for her, I'm like I

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Speaker 2: feel like I'm normal. I'm like, if she's sick, I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna take her to the doctor. If she's fine, there's

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Speaker 2: no reason too, you know. And also it's like I'm

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Speaker 2: not doing it alone. Ken is also there with me,

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Speaker 2: So that's kind of like that I'm grateful that I

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Speaker 2: am at that point where It's like I'm not projecting

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Speaker 2: my mistrust on dry or care.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm curious when she gets sick. I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: what she doesn't, but just anything in common, if that is,

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Speaker 1: will be a trigger for you. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I know that I definitely ask a lot of questions.

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Speaker 2: I'm kind of like, you know, is this shot needed?

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Speaker 2: Is this normal? Is this standard? I definitely question a lot.

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Speaker 2: I asked a lot of questions.

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Speaker 1: You're a mom, then take everything that's happened to you

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Speaker 1: out like your normal, especially it's your first born. Yes,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh. I remember my first two. They would

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Speaker 1: just barely like sneeze and'd be like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: we have to go to the emergency room. Like it

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Speaker 1: was always a big deal. And I know, you know,

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Speaker 1: becoming a parent it puts into such perspective our parents.

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Speaker 1: I know. I felt like when I had my first baby,

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Speaker 1: I felt differently about my mom because I saw like,

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Speaker 1: oh wow, this is everything changed. Yeah, did your relationship

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Speaker 1: with your mom was put into a different light when

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Speaker 1: Aurora was born?

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Speaker 2: It was in a pretty impactful way. I she was

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Speaker 2: probably about three weeks old to three weeks old, and

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Speaker 2: I was sitting in the rocket chair and I was

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Speaker 2: feeding her and I was folding her and I just

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Speaker 2: love looked at her. And as I was holding her,

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Speaker 2: it was like I got hit by a truck of emotions, anger,

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Speaker 2: disappointment in my mom looking at how like how much

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Speaker 2: I love my daughter. I'm like, I could never imagine

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Speaker 2: how anybody could hurt, harm or do anything to their child,

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Speaker 2: their own flesh and blood like what my mom did

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Speaker 2: to me. And it was like I felt like I

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Speaker 2: had hit a level where I was coming to forgive her.

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Speaker 2: I was coming around to claim myself as healed. And

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Speaker 2: that happened, and then I'm like back to square one,

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Speaker 2: and I'm just like I never I'm choosing to never

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Speaker 2: let my daughter go through anything like what I went through.

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Speaker 1: I feel like when any of us have kids, we

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Speaker 1: definitely the mother daughter relationship is one of the most

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Speaker 1: complicated ones. Like it's definitely different than a mother and

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Speaker 1: their son. As you'll see, Do you want more kids?

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Speaker 1: I do?

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Speaker 2: I do, but we will have to use IVF for

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Speaker 2: our next one because the one medical condition that I

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Speaker 2: actually do have, it's called micro deletion one Q one

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Speaker 2: point one. So it's just a long word for I'm

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Speaker 2: missing a small piece in each of my first chromosome,

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Speaker 2: so that is something that could potentially be passed down

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Speaker 2: to every child that I have. My child, every child

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Speaker 2: that I have, has a fifty to fifty shot of

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Speaker 2: having it. Aurora has been tested and she came back negative,

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Speaker 2: thank God, so it was not pastor her. But as

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Speaker 2: a preventative measure, we will go through IVF for our

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Speaker 2: next one.

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Speaker 1: Do you want a boy?

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Speaker 2: We do want a boy girl?

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Speaker 1: The perfect formula. I know I had one boy, one girl,

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Speaker 1: and then I kept going and going and going, and

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Speaker 1: you know, at five, I like, if I could just

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Speaker 1: have one more, have six, I'd have three boys and

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Speaker 1: three girls. But yeah, like a big family you want

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Speaker 1: just too?

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Speaker 2: Probably just too I say that now. You never know

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Speaker 2: what the future holds, but just two for now.

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Speaker 1: On the horide, do you think you will forgive your

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Speaker 1: mom one day? If you've been close to it? Do

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Speaker 1: you think it could get closer?

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Speaker 2: I think close to it, so I think I could

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Speaker 2: get back there. I think the important thing that brings

293
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Speaker 2: me closer to forgiveness is you know the fact that

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Speaker 2: she was a victim, but not only my victim. She

295
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Speaker 2: was also victimized by her grandfather, I mean her father,

296
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Speaker 2: which was my grandfather. She suffered child abuse herself. I

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00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:18,840
Speaker 2: feel like that humanizes her in my mind, and I'm

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Speaker 2: able to relate a little bit on that level. So

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Speaker 2: looking at her, not as you know, the mother that

300
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Speaker 2: abused me, the mother that kept me from having a

301
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Speaker 2: normal life, looking at her at a different angle is

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Speaker 2: I think what's going to get me there? And I

303
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Speaker 2: talked to a Munchausen by proxy expert and the one

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Speaker 2: question I kept having that I never knew and didn't

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Speaker 2: have any clarification on is was my mother aware of

306
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Speaker 2: what she was doing? Was there that culpability there? And

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00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:05,560
Speaker 2: the expert told me yes, she was aware. People that

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00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:11,640
Speaker 2: have that are aware of what they're doing. So unfortunately,

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Speaker 2: that's just something that, like now, I have to kind

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Speaker 2: of cope with and that's a hard pill to swallow.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel the need to defend your mom?

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Speaker 2: Yeinning I did. In the beginning. I kind of was

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Speaker 2: like I had just got arrested and I didn't want

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Speaker 2: my mom's memory tarnished. I was still in this kind

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Speaker 2: of I hate her, I love her friend of mine,

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Speaker 2: So it was like I didn't want people to look

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Speaker 2: at her like a bad mom, because I'm like, there's

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Speaker 2: nothing left of her but a memory. You know, at

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Speaker 2: the end of it all, there's nothing left but our reputation,

320
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 2: our legacy, and what is hers. So it's like, I

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Speaker 2: don't like it when people call her a bad person.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to say she was a perfect person.

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Speaker 1: She wasn't.

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Speaker 2: But I also it's not their place, and then it

325
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 2: can go what I went through to talk about my mom?

326
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Speaker 2: Does that make.

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Speaker 1: Sense one hundred percent? Because everyone has an opinion, and

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Speaker 1: when it's your own human you feel the need to

329
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Speaker 1: defend on any level. I mean, obviously what you went

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Speaker 1: through is extreme, but everyone, like I think personally, if

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Speaker 1: someone like, uh talks shit about your family member, you're like, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: wait wait wait.

333
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:31,920
Speaker 2: No, it's mine.

334
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Speaker 1: I can feel that way because I go through it,

335
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:38,919
Speaker 1: have been through it. You it's like off limits. Yeah, definitely.

336
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:43,119
Speaker 1: Did you obviously you're on text and everything. Did you

337
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:47,719
Speaker 1: ever look up online symptoms of what your mom had?

338
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Speaker 1: I didn't because while she was still alive.

339
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,920
Speaker 2: No, I didn't, because it's like I thought my mom

340
00:20:55,080 --> 00:21:00,359
Speaker 2: was like literally just you know, I just about that

341
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,359
Speaker 2: she was just that way. I tossed it up like

342
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:10,440
Speaker 2: she's a controlling, helicopter bad mom that you know, it's

343
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:16,000
Speaker 2: just so controlling. So I didn't really know that there

344
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 2: was a diagnosis for it, and then that other moms

345
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 2: and other caregivers and other parents have this. I didn't

346
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Speaker 2: know it was a thing.

347
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Speaker 1: Was there anyone in your outside circle slash inner circle

348
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,080
Speaker 1: during that time? Like did you have friends? Did you

349
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Speaker 1: have people you talked to?

350
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 2: Was there was, you know, people that were friends with

351
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 2: my mom and there were people that, you know, I

352
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 2: felt like maybe I could trust on a certain level,

353
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 2: but then the fear of would they tell my mom

354
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 2: would always my mind. As for like other peers, I

355
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 2: didn't go to public.

356
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Speaker 1: School and your homeschool.

357
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 2: I was homeschooled.

358
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,800
Speaker 1: To homeschool you, h Yeah.

359
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 2: She homeschooled me from like like a young age, so

360
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,360
Speaker 2: maybe eight years old, and then there was no schooling

361
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:24,880
Speaker 2: after that. There was like no public school, no homeschool,

362
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 2: nothing after the age of eight, and I got my

363
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:30,639
Speaker 2: ged in prison.

364
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Speaker 1: That's so interesting because I've watched everything on you and

365
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,360
Speaker 1: not a stalker, the whole world just watch everything on you.

366
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 1: I want to read your book, but it's just you

367
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 1: are so well spoken.

368
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you that.

369
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 1: I was curious about the schooling because it didn't from

370
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 1: what's been put out there, it didn't appear that you did.

371
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:58,440
Speaker 1: So I was like, you're so smart and so informed

372
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 1: and to speak so well that I thought, oh, for

373
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 1: sure she did. So you got your GD in prison.

374
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Speaker 2: Yes, I had to start from the ground up, because

375
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:11,320
Speaker 2: when I got to prison, I basically I knew how

376
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:16,959
Speaker 2: to add small numbers. I knew how to like write, read, write,

377
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 2: but my problem was not good. It's like I would

378
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 2: I would make a grocery list and I would spell spaghetti,

379
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:29,399
Speaker 2: spaggy spaggymules and stuff like that. So I had to

380
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 2: learn multiplication, division.

381
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 1: You know, all of it from the ground.

382
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 2: Wait till you start getting into polynomials.

383
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 1: I had to learn all of that. Now that you're

384
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Speaker 1: I mean, your parole is up in tomorrow, day after tomorrow, tomorrow, sorry,

385
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:58,200
Speaker 1: forty forty eight hours, My goodness. Would you ever go

386
00:23:58,240 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 1: to college?

387
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 2: Like to to go to a trade school. I've always

388
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 2: had an interest in hair, makeup, nails, so I would

389
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:13,120
Speaker 2: love to do something with a cosmetology license. There is

390
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,720
Speaker 2: a cosmetology school. There's actually a couple in New Orleans

391
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,440
Speaker 2: that I have looked into.

392
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:23,199
Speaker 1: So maybe that would be amazing. By the way your

393
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 1: nose looks bomb, thank you. I'm very happy had rhinoplasty before.

394
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 1: Was that just a game changer? It was? I thought

395
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,440
Speaker 1: you looked beautiful before. It really doesn't.

396
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 2: Don't even try lie, It's okay.

397
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:43,480
Speaker 1: I'm not lying. Okay, your profile was iffy. But other

398
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 1: than that, I look back on it. I you were great.

399
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 2: Because like I liked you know, I did so much

400
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,679
Speaker 2: mind the front. It was just the side profile and

401
00:24:56,240 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 2: I always been teased because of my nose. And finally

402
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 2: I was like, you know what I used to you?

403
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:08,120
Speaker 1: You didn't see anybody? No, my mom used to oh

404
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 1: my mom.

405
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:13,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, back into trauma. But yeah, my mom would point

406
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 2: out things on my body that you know, and just

407
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 2: like make fun of me. So yeah, but.

408
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 1: What else was trauma? Oh my gosh, our mothers can

409
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 1: fuck us up so much. I know what else did

410
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 1: she say? Wasn't that was not good on you?

411
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 2: Well, it's like my my my thighs. She's to say

412
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,440
Speaker 2: I have thunder thighs and stuff like that.

413
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 1: You know? Is that just her generation though? And not

414
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 1: knowing how and no filter no.

415
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:50,960
Speaker 3: No, but like for Aurora was like, but no, I

416
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 3: mean it might be like it's just one of those

417
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 3: things that like, I don't know, I think that my

418
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 3: mom's holy Emmo was try and take away any sort

419
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 3: of femininity, any sort of I feel pretty, I feel confident.

420
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,400
Speaker 3: And that's how like she would knock me down is

421
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 3: by keeping me in this world of like I'm not pretty,

422
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 3: I'm not sh enough, I'm not this. And so coming

423
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,159
Speaker 3: out of prison, I had like, arely any self esteem.

424
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,479
Speaker 3: And also like coming out of prison, I got on

425
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,439
Speaker 3: social media and there was all these people judging me

426
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 3: and basically making me a celebrity overnight, and I'm like,

427
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,159
Speaker 3: I'm not a celebrity. I'm not I don't think of

428
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 3: myself as a celebrity.

429
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 2: I'm just a person. And I didn't expect to come

430
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:43,159
Speaker 2: out to such a big platform and so trying to

431
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 2: do like little cute selfies and stuff like that, I've

432
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,439
Speaker 2: learned really fast that there are people that will not

433
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 2: take their shoe off to tell you you have a

434
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 2: bag ass.

435
00:26:53,119 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 1: Nose, Like yeah, so social media is like evil evil?

436
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,879
Speaker 1: They can yes, it can be a very positive experience

437
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,920
Speaker 1: in empowering and you can create your own platform. And

438
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 1: but there's that side to it, the haters, and it's

439
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,879
Speaker 1: just and it's hard not to read. You know, people

440
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 1: saying stay off social media, just don't read comments. It's like, well,

441
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 1: I want to read comments because take the bad out

442
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 1: of it. I want to read the good. I want

443
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,359
Speaker 1: to see what I can do. Like you know, there's

444
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 1: that so exactly and now you wrote a post or

445
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 1: I'm trying to find it. It was on what date?

446
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 1: Was it? On June ninth? You wrote what I thought

447
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 1: was a beautifully written post.

448
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,440
Speaker 2: You the post is actually meant for the next day.

449
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:49,920
Speaker 2: I ended up posting.

450
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 1: Early on the tenth because.

451
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 2: It would have been yeah, so it would have been

452
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 2: on the tenth, but I just write the post early.

453
00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 2: But oh, you look very nice.

454
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to make this about me. But I

455
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:08,119
Speaker 1: commented on that post and I wrote beautifully said with

456
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:14,119
Speaker 1: the heart. I mean, I get haters left and right,

457
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 1: but the amount of haters I got from writing that

458
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: comment what like someone making people are making TikTok videos

459
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 1: like I can't believe you. Yes, what are you doing?

460
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 1: And I stand by it. I didn't say in the

461
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: comment whether I agree or disagree with anything that's happened

462
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: in your past, and it's that again, that's not my

463
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 1: place to agree or disagree. That's your story. But I

464
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 1: was just saying I thought your words were beautiful and

465
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 1: it was eloquent and very powerful, but it's just I mean,

466
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 1: what you get is ten times but it was just

467
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: one little inkling of like, wow, oh you're jumping on

468
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 1: her bandwagon, right, And so many people called me and

469
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 1: we're like, oh my god, take down that comment. And

470
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I don't want to, Like, I

471
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 1: stand by what I said.

472
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 2: And thank you for that.

473
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 1: I looked.

474
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 2: I did look because you know, I kind of wondered,

475
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 2: you know, if you would take the comment down or not.

476
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have blamed you if you took it down.

477
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 2: But I remember when I had posted a video and

478
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:29,479
Speaker 2: Demi Lovado had posted a comment and she got just

479
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 2: as much backlash and she ended up deleting the comment.

480
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 2: And I don't blame her for it because it is

481
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 2: kind of like, I am a controversial figure and I

482
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 2: don't want anyone to receive backlash just because little old me.

483
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 2: I don't want that for anybody. So it's kind of like,

484
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 2: if they do take it down, I understand, but it's

485
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 2: because volumes if you keep it up.

486
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, when I connect with someone, I connect with them,

487
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: and yeah we connected. And I totally stood by that.

488
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,479
Speaker 1: So whatever, people can say what they want to say.

489
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: They don't know. That's the thing. Nobody knows because no

490
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: one's walked in your shoes exactly. Oh my gosh, what

491
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: are you to do in forty eight hours?

492
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,959
Speaker 2: I know, I know. Well, I do have a party

493
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 2: get together with some of my friends, so I'm excited

494
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 2: about that. We're gonna go to New Orleans. I get

495
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 2: to have my first alcoholic beverage. I've never drank in

496
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 2: my life.

497
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 1: So, oh my gosh.

498
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 2: Because on your own parole, you can't drink alcohol.

499
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 1: You can't drink, you can't write it.

500
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, do you have any recommendations, because I'm like,

501
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 2: I don't know what to get.

502
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 1: He was, Oh my gosh, what should you get? I

503
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 1: don't know, because you don't even know if you like fruity,

504
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 1: I don't know if you like go easy on me.

505
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 1: Oh my god. So the first thing I ever had

506
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 1: was called a pink lady, okay, which is so old school.

507
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 1: I think i'd seen it in like some nineteen fifties

508
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 1: like movie like I don't know, and I don't really

509
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 1: know what it was, Okay, And the second thing was

510
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: like a whiskey sour because my mom always drank it. Okay,

511
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 1: did your mom drink?

512
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:28,160
Speaker 2: She didn't know. She may have when she was younger.

513
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 2: I don't know, but she didn't.

514
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 1: I'm not asking in a bad way. I'm just I've.

515
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 2: Never seen her drink. Huh. Didn't smoke, didn't drink.

516
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think a lot of times we tend to

517
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 1: have a beverage that is like something reminiscent of our

518
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 1: childhood that we grew up with. Not that you'd want

519
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 1: to reflect on that with a nice freedom drink, but

520
00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. Try a whiskey sour all right.

521
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 2: I will try that for you.

522
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 1: Because it almost tastes like a fruity with a sour.

523
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 1: Do you like sour?

524
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 2: I like sour patch kids.

525
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 1: Seem Okay, that's my favorite. Okay, Okay, Oh, so you're

526
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 1: a sour candy not a chocolate person.

527
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 2: I do like chocolate too, but it has to be

528
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 2: milked chocolate.

529
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 1: Some milk chocolate exactly. I'm very skeptical of people that

530
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 1: like dark chocolate. I don't know.

531
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 2: It just tastes funny.

532
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 1: It's nice, it's not.

533
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, it reminds me of those like x lax laxatives.

534
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, you want to eat for fun.

535
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 1: That's funny. You should try a shream chocolate. Just kidding.

536
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about that. I actually don't. But

537
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: licorice okay, not really red or black if you had

538
00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 1: to pick one, red, okay. Well, I'm liking all your answers,

539
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 1: Like we're like super similar. Okay, savor or sweets.

540
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 2: Ah, that's sweet.

541
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,959
Speaker 1: We just became on friends. We were were such fast friends.

542
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 1: Now again