Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera.
Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to Stuff you should know
Speaker 1: from House Stuff Works dot Com? Hey, and welcome to
Speaker 1: the podcast. I'm Josh Clark. There's Charles W Chuck Bryant
Speaker 1: room a zoom zoom Chuck who gets psychnic care Clark
Speaker 1: sounds good, Chuck. I was hoping you bust out a
Speaker 1: lot of German Bill. We are going to do an
Speaker 1: episode on the Audubon, as you probably noticed when you
Speaker 1: clicked play right, Yes, um and uh, We're going to
Speaker 1: get to the bottom of the age old question. Who zooming?
Speaker 1: Who Chuck? Or me? Who was that? Aretha Franklin one
Speaker 1: of her late career pop um songs. She also did
Speaker 1: the Freeway of Love, so that's interesting. She took up
Speaker 1: like a you know, the highway theme later in her career.
Speaker 1: Although who zuiming? Who had nothing to do with Auto Bond?
Speaker 1: Did it? Uh? No? No? I think I think you
Speaker 1: could make a case they had to do with sc
Speaker 1: X Maybe interesting. Didn't every song in the eighties have
Speaker 1: to do with that or cocaine? Get Out of My Dreams,
Speaker 1: Get into My Car? What do you think the car
Speaker 1: is of course, get in the fast lane, baby. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: see this is already better than you thought it was
Speaker 1: gonna be. Let's begin the auto bon Chuck Fodd and
Speaker 1: Fodd and Botten on the at bond. So we'll get
Speaker 1: to that in a second. Does a matter of fact,
Speaker 1: let's get to it now. Who is that Chuck? That's
Speaker 1: craft work or craft work? Craft work? They you know,
Speaker 1: they're a German. I actually saw them at the Coachella Festival,
Speaker 1: and I'm not a fan, so I wasn't that big
Speaker 1: of a deal to me. I understand their place. It's
Speaker 1: like the biggest build their own instruments. No, trust me.
Speaker 1: They were so ahead of their time they had to
Speaker 1: build their own instrument. The early seventies they were doing
Speaker 1: techno music. But yeah, I'm just not a fan of
Speaker 1: that kind of music, so I didn't dig it. But
Speaker 1: I get it. They're great guys. They seemed like it.
Speaker 1: Nice dudes. And they had a song called Autobon Yeah,
Speaker 1: and which was eight in The Big Lebowski. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: by the Nihilists. Now well they were Nihilists, but they
Speaker 1: were the name of the band in The Big Lebowski
Speaker 1: was Autobon. The name of their album was naggle Beet,
Speaker 1: which I looked up today. That is the perion perionum,
Speaker 1: which is the tissue surrounding the fingernail and toe nail.
Speaker 1: And that was the name of their album. Which eight
Speaker 1: craft Works album cover The Man Machine. Oh there's some
Speaker 1: kid whose head just exploded. Yeah, exactly. Um. Also, kraft
Speaker 1: Work has a play since the Simpsons Pantheon. They made
Speaker 1: an appear. It's verbally uh in the Fighting Hellfish episode,
Speaker 1: remember the the German air shows up to claim the
Speaker 1: artwork and he tells the farm boys to get a room.
Speaker 1: He's tells everybody to hurry up because he has to
Speaker 1: go see Kroft. Stop. We should just end it, wrap
Speaker 1: it up right here, all right, thank you everybody, Um Chuck,
Speaker 1: let's begin all Uh. You know my brother Bill, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you've ever met him or not. Okay,
Speaker 1: Well Bill um got into Porsches for a little while
Speaker 1: and he got himself a brand new nine eleven Carrera
Speaker 1: set in like the late nineties. It was sweet. It
Speaker 1: was silver. The moment it hit fifty five, a spoiler
Speaker 1: automatically came up. It was just nice, sweet cars and
Speaker 1: it had like a little sticker on the front and
Speaker 1: it said it had like a guy's signature on it,
Speaker 1: and it was like a pen in hand signature. It's
Speaker 1: a real thing, um And basically it was like I've
Speaker 1: I've driven this car and this thing is a okay.
Speaker 1: And he said, you see that that's a German race
Speaker 1: car driver's signature. This car had like fifteen miles on
Speaker 1: it when I got it, because they've taken it out
Speaker 1: on the auto bonn they do that to every single one.
Speaker 1: So I did a little research. This is the late
Speaker 1: nineties and from six to today, I thought that Porsche
Speaker 1: did that with every car. Doing a little research, I
Speaker 1: figured out that that's not the case. Bill may have
Speaker 1: been mistaken. It's a myth, or he could have just
Speaker 1: gotten lucky and just happened to get the car that somebody,
Speaker 1: uh test drove on the auto bon I think I've
Speaker 1: heard that before, actually, that Porsche does every single one
Speaker 1: or yeah, or that they they test, you know, test
Speaker 1: drive their fleet. Yeah, maybe not all of them. But
Speaker 1: I didn't see any evidence whatsoever that they do anything.
Speaker 1: But they do use the auto bon this is the
Speaker 1: cool part to road test like new models. Or they'll say, hey,
Speaker 1: you're you're a auto journalist. Why don't you come on
Speaker 1: over to Germany and drive this thing? And they use
Speaker 1: would be like us taking a car out on I
Speaker 1: eighty five or seventy five or probably more appropriately to
Speaker 1: eight five and just going as fast as we can
Speaker 1: and then going home and writing about it. I just
Speaker 1: read an article, like you said, the auto writers. It
Speaker 1: was car and Driver. I think some dude got a
Speaker 1: Lamborghini Aventa door and drove and wrote an article about
Speaker 1: driving two miles an hour on there's a stretch outside
Speaker 1: of Garmish. Oh yes, garmisht miles of of awesome roadway
Speaker 1: and it's not like flattened straight, it's curvy and mountainous
Speaker 1: and apparently that's like one of the great places to
Speaker 1: go drive fast. Yes, okay, well look for stuff you
Speaker 1: should know quiz in the future with the answer of Garmish. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, I've been I've been coming up with questions
Speaker 1: in my head. I can write these. Well yeah, okay, no,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm going to telepathically beam the quiz to
Speaker 1: everybody who listens to be should I was writing those
Speaker 1: quizzes for a while. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. About that.
Speaker 1: I'm a little testy about this one. I'm not a
Speaker 1: car guy. You've seen my car. I'm not a car
Speaker 1: guy either. So I drove a truck, that's true. So
Speaker 1: are you a truck guy? No, I mean it's just handy.
Speaker 1: You drive really fast though, and you're old, old beater. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I thought you might appreciate this. Uh yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I'm not like a break a hundred miles an hour
Speaker 1: kind of guy at all. You're just a break eight
Speaker 1: within neighborhoods of Atlanta. No. I I've slowed down quite
Speaker 1: a bit in my old age in residential areas. But yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I still like to get from point A to point
Speaker 1: But like being on the Highway, to me, is not
Speaker 1: a lug street. It's not like a great experience. It's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: now I can get there as fast as I possibly can. Sure,
Speaker 1: because that's like an interruption of life, having to drive
Speaker 1: from one place to know, teleportation, to me would be
Speaker 1: one of the greatest inventions of all time. I could
Speaker 1: dig that. Yeah. So, uh, you mentioned the myth that
Speaker 1: Porsche does that. There's another myth was that Adolf Hitler
Speaker 1: invented the auto bon Yeah, it's not really true. No,
Speaker 1: he gets a lot of credit for that. And oh,
Speaker 1: by the way, we should say to anybody who isn't
Speaker 1: from Germany or America or any other country in the world,
Speaker 1: if you don't know what the auto bon is, it
Speaker 1: is the German UM federal highway system, the boonts auto
Speaker 1: bon right, bunds thanks UM. That means in English federal highway,
Speaker 1: motor federal motorway, right, that's yeah, And bond means track,
Speaker 1: so federal motor track. Okay, strictly translated um and so yeah,
Speaker 1: Adolf Hitler gets the the lion's share of the credit
Speaker 1: as the father of the auto bon, but it's it's
Speaker 1: not correct right now. I mean, the rise of the
Speaker 1: Nazi war machine definitely had a lot to do with
Speaker 1: the rise of the auto bon and the how extensive
Speaker 1: it became. But it's began construction in n and I
Speaker 1: think the first stretch between Colne, Cologne and Bono. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but he apparently also gets credit as like the father
Speaker 1: of the highway system in general. Uh, you know, the
Speaker 1: U S highway system is UM is modeled after the Autobahn.
Speaker 1: Most highway most federal interstate systems are UM and Hitler
Speaker 1: gets the credit, but really, if you go back even
Speaker 1: further to I think UM nineteen, there was this um
Speaker 1: high this experimental highway called the avas A v U
Speaker 1: S Highway in Berlin, right, so that was like arguably
Speaker 1: the world's first highway because you know, Germans were the
Speaker 1: world's first auto manufacturers, so they're the first ones to
Speaker 1: need a highway and they do it right still. And
Speaker 1: then also there is the Auto Strata in Italy that
Speaker 1: was built um in the twenties that linked Milan to
Speaker 1: the lakes in northern Italy. So Hitler may have been inspired,
Speaker 1: um to to get this plan out the door, but
Speaker 1: he didn't even come up with the plan. There was
Speaker 1: another guy who was the pr head for the Berlin
Speaker 1: I think it was Berlin or maybe just Germany as
Speaker 1: a whole, the German Chamber of Commerce, and he coined
Speaker 1: the term auto bonn in like, and the German Chamber
Speaker 1: of Commerce came up with this plan for this whole thing, um,
Speaker 1: and then the Nazis stole it, so you had another
Speaker 1: reason to hate the Nazis. That's if we needed anymore. Yeah,
Speaker 1: uh so that is true, Josh. They um the initial
Speaker 1: first sections from Frankfurt to Darmstadt was very straight and
Speaker 1: they did test Grand Prix racing cars way back when
Speaker 1: on the stretch of road. Yea, that is true because
Speaker 1: one dude died. Barrent Rosemeyer died in nineteen thirty eight
Speaker 1: after setting the very brief record to sixty eight point
Speaker 1: four three two. His little buddy Rudolphila, that's miles per hour.
Speaker 1: Right after that, Rudolph Carraciola jumped in his car and
Speaker 1: went to sixty eight point eight and then Burnt said,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, let me try that again, and he got
Speaker 1: in and he died. Yeah. His car lifted off the ground,
Speaker 1: he got caught a cross wind and he was killed. Um.
Speaker 1: What's interesting is those two speeds you just mentioned are
Speaker 1: still the fastest speeds ever clocked down the Auto Bonn
Speaker 1: in these old cars. Yeah, in one day. Um. And
Speaker 1: the first guy, Burnt Rosemeyer, he was driving an out
Speaker 1: of Auto Union V sixteen, which V sixteen Yeah, Um,
Speaker 1: he in Auto Union eventually became Audi and then um Caracciola,
Speaker 1: he was driving a Mercedes A V twelve Mercedes W
Speaker 1: one and he'd beat he'd beat Rosemeyer by like four
Speaker 1: hundreds of a second or four tenths of a second.
Speaker 1: Did you see the scars. I mean they look sort
Speaker 1: of like smaller versions of Chitty Chitty Bank Bank, Yeah,
Speaker 1: kind of, and they're going two hundred and sixty miles
Speaker 1: an hour. They look like old timey race cars driven
Speaker 1: by like old timey race car drivers who died. The
Speaker 1: guy died that day. That weird, it's weirdly, it's weirdly sad.
Speaker 1: So um Hitler again, um, father of the auto bonn
Speaker 1: in some respect, he definitely Um, he took road building
Speaker 1: to new heights or two new extremes. Um. Apparently you
Speaker 1: know the Cologne Bond stretch from ninety two, that was
Speaker 1: the first stretch of highway in Germany, supposedly the first
Speaker 1: real one. UM. Six years later, under Nazi rule, UM,
Speaker 1: eighteen hundred and sixty miles of roadway had been completed.
Speaker 1: So they were like roadmaking machines. Well they were, and
Speaker 1: that kind of well, he didn't like backfire. But it
Speaker 1: went into disrepair in a lot of places after the
Speaker 1: war because the German citizens weren't in such great shape
Speaker 1: financially after the war. No, and they didn't even get
Speaker 1: used during the war, which is the whole reason Hitler
Speaker 1: was building and was for military transport. But a lot
Speaker 1: of the roads were like two steep, two mountainous, so
Speaker 1: they didn't use them. So they fell in disrepair and
Speaker 1: it took a long time. You know, some points were
Speaker 1: even impassable, and it took a long time before they
Speaker 1: really got on a campaign to reconstruct them and build
Speaker 1: them back up to the Great Road. Yes, great road.
Speaker 1: That's uh, that's the road. This is our second Holy boy,
Speaker 1: that's shameful. We both just realized that at the same
Speaker 1: exact podcasts on the Road. Okay, I think this will
Speaker 1: be the last. Um, yeah, chuck it. It wasn't until
Speaker 1: the nineties, after East Germany and West Germany got back together, um,
Speaker 1: that the autobon really started to take the take the
Speaker 1: legendary form. I think that that we have now that
Speaker 1: we have of it now, which is now see I
Speaker 1: got the fourth largest behind America, China and India. Oh
Speaker 1: is that right? But it says the third. But I'm
Speaker 1: not sure which one is more recent or or it.
Speaker 1: Maybe there may have to do with how to how
Speaker 1: to do with how Indy accounts the road. They count
Speaker 1: it all twice. Well, if it's like a major expressway
Speaker 1: or what because India's is way bigger than any of them,
Speaker 1: I think, but that they might Germans might say like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: we're talking highways only. Um well look look how about
Speaker 1: some stats man, it's it's your time to shine. How
Speaker 1: big is this thing? Uh? I have as of two
Speaker 1: thousand ten, this pretty recent well thousand, eight hundred and
Speaker 1: thirteen clicks? Wow? Really yeah, that's the kilometers. Okay, it's
Speaker 1: actually decreased in size then, because this article has it
Speaker 1: as twelve thou d kios. But when was that? Maybe
Speaker 1: that's newer or else it's shrinking and might be actually
Speaker 1: it's shrinking and it's age. It's it's got sarcopenia. And
Speaker 1: we should say for our American friends, that's eight thousand
Speaker 1: miles of right roadway. Very nice. There'll be more stats
Speaker 1: scatter amount okaysisting exciting. What's another myth? Josh, you can
Speaker 1: just drive as fast as you want on this thing
Speaker 1: all over the place? Right? Well, um, no you you can't.
Speaker 1: You can. But the Germans are very sensible people. They're
Speaker 1: very efficient. Uh, they're very um really as sensible is
Speaker 1: a really good word to describe the German people. What
Speaker 1: might even say rigid, you could say that, UM, and
Speaker 1: they are well aware that you should not be driving
Speaker 1: unfettered speed limit wise through congested areas, like through a
Speaker 1: city or something like that. So in a lot of
Speaker 1: parts of the Audubon you're going to find speed limits
Speaker 1: which are called tempo limits UM in German tempo limits
Speaker 1: tempo limits that which is of course one word. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So congested areas, areas where like the the terrain is
Speaker 1: really rough um during certain types of weather. Uh. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of UM factors that go into it, but
Speaker 1: it's not unlimited. For about three quarters of the eight
Speaker 1: thousand miles you'll find speed limits. But then there's about
Speaker 1: two thousand miles of autobon, about a quarter of the
Speaker 1: whole thing, where there really isn't any speed limit. Not bad.
Speaker 1: You can drive as fast as you want, but there
Speaker 1: is a suggested uh speed limit of UM. I believe
Speaker 1: a hundred and thirty kilometers per hour, which is eighty
Speaker 1: miles an hour, But that's suggested. Nobody's gonna pull you
Speaker 1: over for that. Uh. There is a minimum speed limit
Speaker 1: of thirty seven miles per hour, which is about sixty
Speaker 1: kilometers per hour, and that just keeps the riff raff
Speaker 1: off the road that will get blown away, including mopeds
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, and well horses, horses which were
Speaker 1: banned outright from the beginning German highways early on that
Speaker 1: they wanted this thing to cook, or at least it
Speaker 1: seems like. But even if it is unlimited, they still can.
Speaker 1: You can still get a fine if you're driving too
Speaker 1: fast for like weather conditions. You can also, I mean,
Speaker 1: if you're going to pass um an autobon cop which
Speaker 1: are called the auto bon politze. Again one long wordlitz,
Speaker 1: you you don't want to taunt him, especially if you're
Speaker 1: holding like a big mac. Yeah, because the Germans consider
Speaker 1: um driving while eating or drinking a distracted drivers state,
Speaker 1: and they will pull you over in a heartbeat and
Speaker 1: find you, and they do it routinely. Yeah. Can I
Speaker 1: just go ahead and take my hat off to the
Speaker 1: German people for their sensible and common sense rules when
Speaker 1: it comes to driving, Sure, chuck, because that is one
Speaker 1: All of these rules to me should be worldwide because
Speaker 1: they just make sense. For instance, the two second rule.
Speaker 1: If you don't follow the two second rule, which means
Speaker 1: you give yourself two seconds worth of stopping time for
Speaker 1: the car in front of you. Then you can get
Speaker 1: a ticket and that's suspended license. Yeah, we should explain
Speaker 1: that to our younger listeners, maybe ones who don't drive yet. Uh.
Speaker 1: Say you're following a car and a car passes a
Speaker 1: street lamp, right, Uh, if you should be able to
Speaker 1: count off two seconds before you pass that street lamp.
Speaker 1: That means there's two seconds of space between two seconds
Speaker 1: of reaction time between you and the car in front
Speaker 1: of you. That's the two second rule. Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: great way to do it. Nice suggestion. Another rule, Josh,
Speaker 1: which should be adhered here in the United States, travel
Speaker 1: fast in the left lane only pass on the right only.
Speaker 1: It just makes sense. Well, so apparently the Germans are
Speaker 1: extremely well instructed in the art of passing and respecting
Speaker 1: the passing lane. So, um, I've met so many people
Speaker 1: on the highway that I really genuinely wanted to take
Speaker 1: the lives of you've met them. I met him by
Speaker 1: making eye contact, really angry, vicious eye contact, waiting at them. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: on the road because they just not only won't get over,
Speaker 1: they maybe slow down a little bit when you try
Speaker 1: to pass them in the in the left lane and
Speaker 1: they're going too slow. Apparently the Germans do not have
Speaker 1: this problem. If you are not getting over, if you're
Speaker 1: in the left lane and you don't get over for
Speaker 1: a faster driver, you can be fined because they consider
Speaker 1: that coercion. You were coercing a driver who drives faster
Speaker 1: than you to drive slower, and that is messed up.
Speaker 1: And not only that, but if you're going a hundred
Speaker 1: and twenty miles an hour in that left lane and
Speaker 1: your Mercedes and going through behind you is in his
Speaker 1: force and he wants to go one ninety, you gotta
Speaker 1: get over because you're the slower driver. And also whether
Speaker 1: whether it's you orgoon turn the left lane, you're not
Speaker 1: supposed to be in there unless you're passing. The right
Speaker 1: lanes are for traveling, the left lane is for passing,
Speaker 1: and you don't drive in the left lane and you
Speaker 1: can get a fine for that. Um. You're you're allowed
Speaker 1: to flash your lights and honk your horn at somebody
Speaker 1: who's going slower to basically say, hey, I don't want
Speaker 1: to use up my brakes. Get over. If they don't
Speaker 1: get over, they can get a ticket if you UM,
Speaker 1: if you do it excessively, supposedly, that's coercient as well,
Speaker 1: so you can both get a ticket if you find
Speaker 1: a grumpy auto pullets. That's right, auto bomb pullets. I
Speaker 1: think anytime you're not sure, just like, do it quiet? Uh?
Speaker 1: And you mentioned that you know the left lane is
Speaker 1: for passing. You can also be stopped in fine if
Speaker 1: you pass on the right. If your excuse was but hey,
Speaker 1: the guy wouldn't get over, they can say, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: you're still getting a ticket, but we'll give him a
Speaker 1: ticket to if we happen to see that you're you're
Speaker 1: both gonna get tickets, right, just likes, can it be
Speaker 1: any more fair than that? And women have to get
Speaker 1: a license to wear lipstick? What else? Uh? The emergency
Speaker 1: lane um is for emergencies only here in the United States.
Speaker 1: When traffic backs up in certain places like l A,
Speaker 1: people will drive in the emergency lane because they can't wait. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that makes me want to kill two. But they said,
Speaker 1: I love this part. Even if you run out of gas,
Speaker 1: that's no excuse because that's an avoidable thing. So that's
Speaker 1: very sensible as well. I get the feeling that you're
Speaker 1: it's very shameful as well. In Germany, to run out
Speaker 1: of gas because they're just so like on top of everything,
Speaker 1: they're like, you know, if you run out of gas, room,
Speaker 1: you're you're not worthy of being on the road. Like
Speaker 1: they have like like page eight of the local papers,
Speaker 1: just like mug shots of people who ran out of
Speaker 1: gas in the emergency yesterday. Uh, should we talk about
Speaker 1: some of these fines? And that's kind of the least
Speaker 1: interesting part. Yeah, how about this? This will this will
Speaker 1: drive people on the website after this. If you want
Speaker 1: to see some fines, some some infractions and the corresponding
Speaker 1: finds in Euros, look up auto Bonn on how stuffworks
Speaker 1: dot com. We'll remind you again later at the end
Speaker 1: of this episode. Another cool thing I like about the system, Josh,
Speaker 1: it is it's all consistent with how they letter and
Speaker 1: number everything. Everything on the auto Bonn system has a
Speaker 1: capital A followed by a number. Even numbers go east west,
Speaker 1: odd numbers go north south. Same exact thing in the US,
Speaker 1: is that right? Yes? Seventy five north south, eighty five
Speaker 1: north south, ninety five north south twenty forty sixty eighty
Speaker 1: all east west. Same thing is it was modeled on
Speaker 1: the autobon Eisenhower is like, I love these Nazis. I
Speaker 1: don't think they're all like that, though, are they? It
Speaker 1: seems like California had some for interstate for federal highways only,
Speaker 1: So what about rings. I don't know, UM two eighty
Speaker 1: five probably larger, I want. I don't know this, but
Speaker 1: I would suspect that the larger orientation, whether it's east,
Speaker 1: west or north south, would guide the people naming it
Speaker 1: giving it a name. So like, I'll bet two eighty
Speaker 1: five it has longer stretches going east and west or
Speaker 1: north and south than east and west, which is why
Speaker 1: it has an odd number. But it's not a perfect circles.
Speaker 1: I tend to make stuff up, and that could be
Speaker 1: an example of uh You would think that because of
Speaker 1: the excessive speeds that the auto bon would be a
Speaker 1: death trap. I would, and for a while there it
Speaker 1: was pretty unsafe, like uh N. I think was the
Speaker 1: all time high when they had more than one deaths
Speaker 1: that year, which is staggering. It is, but it's less
Speaker 1: than the United States standard of about forty thousand a year. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but we have a lot more highway we we we
Speaker 1: do know. UM. In two thousand eight, though, that number
Speaker 1: fell to fewer than because of a few things, better
Speaker 1: engineering in the cars, safety obviously, better engineering of the
Speaker 1: roadway very much. My dad taught me this. My dad's
Speaker 1: a mechanical engineer, but engineers. Any type of engineer appreciates
Speaker 1: the work of any other type of engineer. Um And
Speaker 1: he taught me to really appreciate a curve where you
Speaker 1: don't have to move your steering wheel, You just you
Speaker 1: just tilted slightly and then you just hold it and
Speaker 1: placed for the whole curve. You don't have to turn
Speaker 1: it to stay into the curve is a perfectly engineered
Speaker 1: and perfectly constructed curve. I have driven on a race
Speaker 1: track and that's how it is. But you can you'll
Speaker 1: if you pay attention, you'll find that some curves on
Speaker 1: some highways are better than others, for sure. And every
Speaker 1: and when you when you're looking out for it, you
Speaker 1: really appreciate that one curve where you just pull into it.
Speaker 1: You're like, hat's off to you, guys, It's like, way
Speaker 1: to go, This is a perfect curve. Yeah. Yeah. When
Speaker 1: I did Atlanta Motor Speedway, I actually got the feeling
Speaker 1: that I didn't even need to turn my wheel because
Speaker 1: the bank it felt like the car just kind of
Speaker 1: turned itself. I'm sure that's not the case, but I'll
Speaker 1: bet it is. It was pretty cool. Yeah, what were
Speaker 1: you doing on at Lant. We did a commercial shoot
Speaker 1: there years ago and I got I had to go
Speaker 1: the day before to like get some paper signed from someone.
Speaker 1: And the guy that worked there said, he's like he did.
Speaker 1: He literally did. He's like, hey man, he won't take
Speaker 1: a lap went heck, yeah I do. He's like, you're
Speaker 1: have any money? It was Unfortunately I was in a
Speaker 1: production vehicle, so it was a like a GMC yukon
Speaker 1: suv want like ninety and it felt on the on
Speaker 1: the high on that track, it felt like I was
Speaker 1: going about thirty really, so it wasn't actually a thrill.
Speaker 1: It was just like this is neat. But the banks, man,
Speaker 1: those are scary, Like I thought I was gonna tip over.
Speaker 1: That's how steep it I would imagine, so, especially in
Speaker 1: like an suv, especially in a big suv. Yeah, well
Speaker 1: it's very fun though. Uh So. Yeah, the autobun is
Speaker 1: one of the safest roadways in the in the world
Speaker 1: nowadays United States, but it's not it's in Germany. It's right,
Speaker 1: don't try and fool me. Uh. There's been talking recent years, Josh,
Speaker 1: about imposing some speed limits because of environmental factors more
Speaker 1: than safety. Yeah, apparently if you propose, um putting speed
Speaker 1: limits on the auto bonn for safety reasons, you're just
Speaker 1: chided and derided and upbraided like by everyone, like, oh,
Speaker 1: shut up, you don't know what you're talking about. You
Speaker 1: clearly just moved here from Spain or something like that,
Speaker 1: you know. Um, it's all about environment though. And in fact,
Speaker 1: there's three cities in Germany Bond, Cologne and I think
Speaker 1: Berlin who have instituted um, what are called oom lot zones. No,
Speaker 1: I don't think they're room lout zones, boom welt zone,
Speaker 1: which is an environment zone. And basically it's like you
Speaker 1: have to have a sticker that shows that your car
Speaker 1: was um inspected and meets approved a mission standard to
Speaker 1: be able to drive in this environment zone. So if
Speaker 1: you drive a nasty diesel car, you can't drive in
Speaker 1: certain sections of Bond or Cologner I think. Well, speaking
Speaker 1: of stickers too, you have to have a tire rated
Speaker 1: for for speed as well, which is another great rule. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't if you have a really fast car. You
Speaker 1: can't have really cheap tires, like your tire has to
Speaker 1: be rated for your car's top speed or you can
Speaker 1: be pulled over for that too. Right, But they do
Speaker 1: allow exceptions, I think for certain kind of winter tires,
Speaker 1: which you need the sticker for though, to show the
Speaker 1: cop the pullet side that you're like, I can have
Speaker 1: these winter tires. Yeah. So obviously they're going to post
Speaker 1: speed limits all over the autobon for carbon emissions. Right, sure, Wrong,
Speaker 1: Chancellor Angela merkel Um in this country, you would call
Speaker 1: her Angela merkel Um. She said in two thousand seven
Speaker 1: that she would not support any speed limit uh measures
Speaker 1: for the autobon. I love that. Instead, she said, automakers,
Speaker 1: why don't you just go make the car as um
Speaker 1: more efficient? Yeah, with fewer emissions. That's what I love.
Speaker 1: She's like, no change your cars. And apparently she's she's uh,
Speaker 1: she's a standard bear for the rest of the country
Speaker 1: as far as the Audubon goes. You got anything else?
Speaker 1: I mean no, I don't have anything else. Really, I
Speaker 1: got I have one thing and this this makes sense? Um.
Speaker 1: During the Cold War, obviously, the roads were neglected more
Speaker 1: in East Germany. In West Germany and so that was
Speaker 1: sort of in a state of disarray, lots of potholes, um,
Speaker 1: impassable places, major obstacles and um. A lot of these
Speaker 1: roads were just used for military traffic for a little while.
Speaker 1: But since the end of the Cold World, since the
Speaker 1: Wall fell, I think they've tried to help out East
Speaker 1: Germany a little bit there, Yeah, make the roads a
Speaker 1: little better so they can be a Germany united in
Speaker 1: road and spirit. Yes, and they are, yes there, so uh,
Speaker 1: there you have at the autobon. It's our companion piece
Speaker 1: to Root sixty six. I remember when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: it was did you just heard a lot about the autobon?
Speaker 1: It was like, I don't know, maybe that was the
Speaker 1: big when cars were really going fast because I just
Speaker 1: remember the auto well yeah, but that was also the
Speaker 1: same age where you were, you know, eight to nine
Speaker 1: times likelier to have a poster of a Lamborghini on
Speaker 1: the back of your bedroom door with a mug. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember tho. I remember that Garfield one where it
Speaker 1: was like a real shot of a mansion and like
Speaker 1: a Lamborghini and all this a boat and all that,
Speaker 1: but Garfield like super imposed over it was like whoever
Speaker 1: dies with the most toys wins. Can you imagine a
Speaker 1: more eighties motto than that? Material? Phil, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: You've gone astray? He's back though everybody, and he's dead.
Speaker 1: You don't know what I'm talking about. Look up, is
Speaker 1: Garfield actually dead? It'll bring up some pretty cool stuff. Um.
Speaker 1: If you want to know more about the Audubon, including
Speaker 1: some other trafficing fractions and their corresponding finds in Euros,
Speaker 1: you want to type in autobon A U, T O,
Speaker 1: B A H N in the search bar how stuff
Speaker 1: works dot com. Uh. And since I said search bar
Speaker 1: in there somewhere, Ah, that means it's time for not
Speaker 1: listener mail. Sometimes it means it's time for Facebook questions.
Speaker 1: That's right. And this week, Josh, it's a very special
Speaker 1: edition of Facebook Questions because these aren't questions about us
Speaker 1: for a change. We're not gonna sit here and talk
Speaker 1: about each other, which we love to do. I find
Speaker 1: it off putting when we do that. Yeah, it's intrusive.
Speaker 1: How I love it? Uh? These are Facebook questions for
Speaker 1: our special guest who was here in the studio with
Speaker 1: this Actually it's me John Hodgman. Everyone, Yeah, I'm here again.
Speaker 1: But actually, guys, I gotta tell you I'm I'm not
Speaker 1: actually here. What what do you mean you're sitting here?
Speaker 1: I'm no, I am I'm currently a hologram. John Hodgeman
Speaker 1: actual is currently in Brooklyn, New York. So Jerry busted
Speaker 1: you out? How did that go? She busted you out
Speaker 1: of the safe room. Oh, that went fine, and I
Speaker 1: was able to make it back home. You just left.
Speaker 1: And John Hodgeman actual is in Brooklyn, New York right
Speaker 1: now promoting, well, actually at the Bellhouse tonight, getting ready
Speaker 1: to to present the launch of his new book That
Speaker 1: Is All, which I guess came out today. It came
Speaker 1: out today, November one, two thousand eleven. So John Hodgeman
Speaker 1: actual had to be in Brooklyn to begin his book tour,
Speaker 1: and so he sent me his holographic representation. So should
Speaker 1: we congratulate you or can you send it? Can you
Speaker 1: send a message to I can convey a message to
Speaker 1: Hodgeman Actual? Okay, so we have breakfast this morning. Was
Speaker 1: that you or was that the actual John Hodge That
Speaker 1: was me the hologram. Okay, the hologram really puts away
Speaker 1: the sausage links. Well, you know, when you're a hologram,
Speaker 1: you can eat whatever you want. Okay, So are you
Speaker 1: prerecorded or I am an interactive program that responds to
Speaker 1: stimulus in a very similar way. And yet I see me,
Speaker 1: Chuck is moving his hand through your head right now,
Speaker 1: so it looks you look totally solid, but obviously you're not.
Speaker 1: I am an interactive program that responds to stimulus in
Speaker 1: a very similar way. I thought I detected odors, John
Speaker 1: Hodgman odors, but that must just be in my head.
Speaker 1: I am an interactive program that responds to various stimulus
Speaker 1: and a in I forget what I was going to say. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, I guess that's good enough for Facebook questions. Well,
Speaker 1: I yes, I have a question. Can you feel love?
Speaker 1: K just let me like this? There? We alright, Hello,
Speaker 1: I am a holographic John Hodgment. How may I be
Speaker 1: of service? Well, John, holographic John. We had some fans
Speaker 1: right in of yours on Facebook because we said, hey,
Speaker 1: John the hollow Graham is going to be in the office.
Speaker 1: That's great because John Hodgman usually uses a robot to
Speaker 1: answer his email perfect then, so this works perfectly. And
Speaker 1: they responded in kind, and we're you don't know these questions,
Speaker 1: is not pre prepared. And even if Hodgeman actual did,
Speaker 1: I don't believe Hodgeman Virtual would be preloaded with these
Speaker 1: and there's yeah, there's no way that these could be predicted.
Speaker 1: The due random I'm looking forward to hearing the questions
Speaker 1: from the millions of fake accounts and offshore banks that
Speaker 1: are registered at your website. When we will, we will
Speaker 1: ask it. Now, do you want me to kick off?
Speaker 1: Are we gonna? Are we gonna call out the people
Speaker 1: who asked the questions? I think we should. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: always do so John John the hologram, Yes, I don't
Speaker 1: know if you know this, but John the actual loves
Speaker 1: the podcast, love stuff. You should know. He always talked
Speaker 1: about it's almost to an embarrassing degree. Um, I am
Speaker 1: aware of his affection for the podcast. Choose not to
Speaker 1: comment on it, Okay, that's fine, that's fine, But you
Speaker 1: can you basically have access to all of John the
Speaker 1: actual thoughts and feelings about certain things. Okay, So, um,
Speaker 1: we did a podcast, an episode on the Muppets. It's
Speaker 1: a much beloved episode. I am aware. So this question
Speaker 1: I think pertains to that. This is from Josh Bailey
Speaker 1: and he asks which Muppet is your favorite? There can
Speaker 1: be no question that John Hodgman's favorite Muppet is Kermit.
Speaker 1: He is an incredible character in American fiction that I
Speaker 1: adore and also John Hodgman does too. Okay, it's convenient. Um,
Speaker 1: there is for the most part a consensus on the
Speaker 1: Internet that I resemble Benson Bunsen Honeydew. Yeah, now that
Speaker 1: you mentioned that there's a very famous picture of you
Speaker 1: with said Muppet, is there there is? I've seen it
Speaker 1: on on my phone. I have Well, I cannot, as
Speaker 1: a hologram, I cannot confirm whether or not that picture exists.
Speaker 1: You're you're speaking of something that falls into a nondisclosure
Speaker 1: agreement that you signed pertaining to the New Muppets movie,
Speaker 1: of which John Hodgman has no part except visiting a
Speaker 1: table read. But that but that is that's that. Yes,
Speaker 1: I think probably the Muppet Movie is one of the
Speaker 1: sort of most overlooked great film of the seventies, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean of the great films of the seventies,
Speaker 1: And I'm including so we're talking you know, The Godfather
Speaker 1: and Chinatown and you know those those great hard weird
Speaker 1: complex unsparing French connection. French connection, you know, adult sophisticated,
Speaker 1: and I don't mean an adult in story, yeah right.
Speaker 1: Empire Strikes Back obviously falls in that category as well,
Speaker 1: sort of morally nebulous and and dark. The Muppet Movie
Speaker 1: is is equally that it is a movie about puppets
Speaker 1: that go on a journey to Hollywood to make a
Speaker 1: movie about puppets. And at the end of the movie,
Speaker 1: all of the puppets seeing about how life is a
Speaker 1: movie while they're surrounded by fake props that are imitating
Speaker 1: the fake props from the earlier part of the movie,
Speaker 1: and then the theater, the ceiling of the theater smashes,
Speaker 1: and a real rainbow comes in and touches them all.
Speaker 1: And then Kermit looks directly into the camera, breaks the
Speaker 1: fourth wall and says to you, the viewer, life is
Speaker 1: a movie. Write your own ending spoiler alert. Well this
Speaker 1: is as you know. This is the only movie on
Speaker 1: which the literary critic Roland Bart was given a screenplay credit,
Speaker 1: because it's so in Henseley meta and beautiful and yet
Speaker 1: and yet also emotionally very affecting. I love Kermit the Frog.
Speaker 1: I love Beaker two put Beaker down, Kermit and Beaker
Speaker 1: josh Bailey. All right, this is from Joshua Charles Knowles.
Speaker 1: Favorite board game, favorite cartoon, and favorite Pulletzer recipient. Favorite
Speaker 1: board game obviously is scrabble, of course. Favorite cartoon animated
Speaker 1: or or strip cartoon, comic strip work cartoons. Favorite cartoon
Speaker 1: Let's go with television or flipbook? Yeah? Uh, favorite cartoon
Speaker 1: watership down? Okay, favorite fun this hysterical? Yeah, it's slapstick.
Speaker 1: Rabbits are funny? Uh? Favorite? And what was the last part?
Speaker 1: Pulletzer Prize recipient David Lindsay A bear the Pulleitzer Prize
Speaker 1: winning play right, David Lindsay a beart? All right? Who
Speaker 1: am I made fun of? Two podcasts? That's right. That's
Speaker 1: from Joshua Nols. Thank you, Joshua. Who is the next
Speaker 1: josh to ask me a question? The next Joshua to
Speaker 1: ask you a question is bridget reef shop Bell. She's
Speaker 1: got three names. Well, I guess her question is this
Speaker 1: follows is judge John Hodgman? Which is a podcast? Is
Speaker 1: ever going to be a regular weekly or more podcast?
Speaker 1: I asked that question because it's a question and a
Speaker 1: bit of a dig. Yeah, I get it, okay, Joshua Bridget,
Speaker 1: I feel that that hurts. You've probably heard a lot
Speaker 1: of that lately. Yeah, you know what, Here's some things
Speaker 1: that happened in my life. I worked for the Daily
Speaker 1: Show with John Stewart with John Stewart from time to time.
Speaker 1: I wrote a book that I'm publishing called That Is
Speaker 1: All That comes out Today. I have, I have human children,
Speaker 1: I have a cat that needs feeding and tending. And
Speaker 1: I do a podcast that I love very much called
Speaker 1: Judge John Hodgman where people call in and I and
Speaker 1: I and they tell me their disputes and I tell
Speaker 1: them who's right and he was wrong, and and Jesse
Speaker 1: Thorne the bailiff, Jesse the producer of j Thorne excuse me,
Speaker 1: and he recently had a baby. So you know, I've
Speaker 1: been busy. And also I'm a deranged millionaire. And I
Speaker 1: took two months off over the summer, sue me, to
Speaker 1: sit around and and uh and work on my on
Speaker 1: my inventions. So here's the thing. I was a little busy.
Speaker 1: We fell off our regular weekly thing. It's hard to
Speaker 1: get good disputes. It's hard to get disputes where people
Speaker 1: aren't simply buzz marketing Facebook all the time like we're
Speaker 1: doing today. Um, we will put that thing out as
Speaker 1: as often as we can, and I hope it will
Speaker 1: be weekly, but it will never ever be twice a
Speaker 1: week because we all know that's podcast death, especially after
Speaker 1: three years. So that was Joshua Bridget and the other
Speaker 1: Joshua's out there. Yeah, this is from uh Josh Ginger
Speaker 1: snap dragon and he writing from second life. Should we
Speaker 1: eliminate pennies in our currency system? No? Pennies are delightful
Speaker 1: if any of you if if there were not pennies there,
Speaker 1: there would not be the great Paul F. Tompkins routine
Speaker 1: smashed pennies available on his c D freak wharf. Are
Speaker 1: you're a good friend? He has a good comedian. You ready, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this one comes flighting lightning round. I'll be fast. Well,
Speaker 1: we've got we We have a lot of quick A
Speaker 1: lot of people want to know stuff. I'm happy to
Speaker 1: tell them from you. Um, there are a lot of
Speaker 1: people who asked questions about your mustache. Some of them
Speaker 1: are stupid questions like what's up with the mustache? But
Speaker 1: what mustache do you look up to the most is
Speaker 1: on my list? It's Okay, it's better than what's up
Speaker 1: with the mustache? But I'm choosing this one from Joshua J. McCracken,
Speaker 1: who has Um Bullwinkle as his avatar. Is your mustache?
Speaker 1: Attribute to Stanley Tucci's epic performance in The Lovely Bones that,
Speaker 1: uh that is not the case? Uh, Doc Holiday played
Speaker 1: by Val kilmar Oh. I totally see it now, ye
Speaker 1: be dying alcoholic? Yeah, um, your huckle Billy, that was
Speaker 1: your brilliant John. There was a time in my life
Speaker 1: in the nineties when I love that performance so much
Speaker 1: that I was like, maybe I should get tuberculosis. Maybe
Speaker 1: I should sweat and drink all the time starting at
Speaker 1: nine am and and cough because I'm already has matic.
Speaker 1: So I'm halfway there. And look whatid it's them for you? Look,
Speaker 1: I grew a mustache because that is the only facial
Speaker 1: hair I could grow. And I wanted to grow some
Speaker 1: facial hair. And this is what what every hair you
Speaker 1: see on my face, That is the only hair that
Speaker 1: I could grow. Like you're trying to grow a beard
Speaker 1: right now as we speak, and heaven for months. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why I see some stuff down there. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you don't want to see. I spend a lot of
Speaker 1: time this summer when I went away as a deranged
Speaker 1: millionaire experimenting with the beard, because truly, if I really
Speaker 1: want to be a deranged millionaire, I gotta go full
Speaker 1: Howard Hughes. Do you know what I mean? Mustache? And
Speaker 1: why are soul patches? I mean dot Holiday soul patches
Speaker 1: isn't gonna do it. But it's just not in me. Guys,
Speaker 1: there's still a part of me that's not deranged and
Speaker 1: not millionaire enough to do it. So that's the that's
Speaker 1: the answer. Yeah, that's a lot of people wanted to
Speaker 1: know that, John, Where do you go some you know,
Speaker 1: it's like sometimes you wear a different shirt. Can a
Speaker 1: guy grow a mustache? Yeah? People just want to know
Speaker 1: why the guys wearing the concern that people have. And
Speaker 1: there's another here's another perfectly true answer. You notice that
Speaker 1: the mustache that I'm wearing looks fake because it was
Speaker 1: so much darker than my regular topic. My whiskers are
Speaker 1: very dark and my skin is very pale and pallid,
Speaker 1: much like darc Holidays. And I got a little tired
Speaker 1: as this happened once where someone came up to me
Speaker 1: and said, I really like that you're growing a mustache.
Speaker 1: And it was eleven o'clock in the morning and I
Speaker 1: had shaved that day. Because when my whiskers would come
Speaker 1: in they would be very dark. It always looked like
Speaker 1: I was growing a mustache. So I decided to give
Speaker 1: nature what it wanted, a right. So that's your answer,
Speaker 1: thank you, Josh, Josh uh boring, boring, boring is from
Speaker 1: this is from John Riddium. How do you feel about
Speaker 1: asian carp that's not that's not the snakehead fishes it
Speaker 1: I don't know. No, you're thinking of the worm faces
Speaker 1: asian carpet predatory species. Is that the issue here? I
Speaker 1: think you're thinking invasive? Invasive? Thank you. Yeah, you really
Speaker 1: have lightened up a lot of I don't know how
Speaker 1: to answer that question. I they're they're huge carp and
Speaker 1: you know, generally I'm a I'm a fan of all. Well,
Speaker 1: that's a little like Getty Lee's famous words, if you
Speaker 1: choose not to decide, you still made a choice, John Hodgment,
Speaker 1: refusing to answer is your answer. But here's one. Here's
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna sayil Perts famous words and and speaking
Speaker 1: speaking of of of giant freshwater fish. There is a
Speaker 1: long section in this book that I have written that
Speaker 1: comes out today entitled That Is All, the third in
Speaker 1: the series of Complete World Knowledge, including information on wine
Speaker 1: and sports and of the world. There's a long section
Speaker 1: in this book that follows the path of a semi
Speaker 1: professional noodler who who meets an unhappy end. Noodling, of course,
Speaker 1: being the sport of sticking your hand down a catfish's
Speaker 1: mouth um and catching it, yanking and yanking it out,
Speaker 1: and then he later comes to face the ancient and
Speaker 1: unspeakable one, the giant catfish, that is the entire Mississippi River.
Speaker 1: That's another story, but that whole section is an homage
Speaker 1: to the first episode of Stuff You Should Know I
Speaker 1: ever listened to. That was the first. It was that
Speaker 1: very thrilling. And you know what, John, When I was
Speaker 1: reading your book, I noticed that there were some stuff
Speaker 1: you should Know threads really well, well, just a couple
Speaker 1: of things I noticed, like the Mayan calendar and prohibition,
Speaker 1: prison wine drink taste, sinkhole zombies, flor hey hey hey hey, rogue, taxidermy,
Speaker 1: odd town festivals, spontaneous human combustion. Wait a minute, Cristal
Speaker 1: Skulls of the Many Worlds Theory one Near Death Experiences.
Speaker 1: Do we get any money for this book? John, Look,
Speaker 1: there's obviously a kinship in the way we look at
Speaker 1: and think about the world. We're both trying to explain everything.
Speaker 1: Give me the list and I'll tell you where it
Speaker 1: came from. You're not getting this list, give me no
Speaker 1: read it read It just doesn't even have to be
Speaker 1: in the podcast Prison Prison Wine first revealed to me
Speaker 1: at the offices of Twitter and two thousand eight. First
Speaker 1: first came to my attention when I was writing an
Speaker 1: article for Wired magazine in two thousand seven. Taxoplasmosis, taxoplasmosis,
Speaker 1: I have a human child, I have a wife who
Speaker 1: was pregnant. Of course I know that talxoplasmosis. Wait a minute,
Speaker 1: you hadn't heard about prison wine until two eight. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right. I did spend a night in jail, but
Speaker 1: it wasn't long enough to make prison one. Crystal Skulls.
Speaker 1: Go back to my first book, two thousand five, Secrets
Speaker 1: of Yale University, where I talk about the rumor that
Speaker 1: the Uh, the the the Whiffin pooss Uh gave the
Speaker 1: skull of Benjamin Franklin to Dick Cabot on his TV show,
Speaker 1: And it's not true. It was a crystal skull. Okay,
Speaker 1: that goes back to the World Book of the Strange
Speaker 1: that I read in two thousand four writing the first book?
Speaker 1: Does that have trepen nation in it? Of course it does.
Speaker 1: Tremp nation I got from from the Golden Compass. Give
Speaker 1: me more. Come on, I'm not let the stand uh sinkholes.
Speaker 1: That's from me? Okay. Odd town festivals, that's okay because
Speaker 1: you actually gave us a thank you for that for noodling. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're cited as experts, even a thank you like experts. Yeah,
Speaker 1: keep going. Really yeah, odd town festivals, that's that. That
Speaker 1: one's yours. Not that I wasn't aware of a lot
Speaker 1: of those odd town festivals. Zombies comedies, I know, we
Speaker 1: didn't invent it. Yeah, no, you didn't. Let me. Let
Speaker 1: me give you a little history lesson, right, Zombi has
Speaker 1: been around for a long time. Check out a serpent
Speaker 1: in the rainbow, dumb, dumb. Next, I saw that in
Speaker 1: the theater rogue taxidermy bartering. Rogue taxidermy was probably you
Speaker 1: bartering though that bartering we didn't do bartering house swapping.
Speaker 1: You mean no, we talked about bartering, didn't we. I'm
Speaker 1: sure we did in house swapping. Oh. Also, um conjunctions.
Speaker 1: We use a lot of conjunctions. Bartering goes back to
Speaker 1: my first my first year of college, when I would
Speaker 1: tell other freshmen who were from out of states. I
Speaker 1: went to college the University in Connecticut, and I would
Speaker 1: just tell people that the Connecticut is the only state
Speaker 1: in the Union where barter is still a legal form
Speaker 1: of payment. And then you can go into any like
Speaker 1: wah wah or convenience store and try to buy things
Speaker 1: with shiny shells, and if they accept it, it's lead.
Speaker 1: How would you like to be on the hall with
Speaker 1: eighteen year old John Hodgmon, You know you'd be like,
Speaker 1: shut up, nerd. Well, So we'll we'll release this separately
Speaker 1: on the internet. Look, I think I span, I spand
Speaker 1: my ground on this right all right. I guess that's
Speaker 1: about all the time we have think just questions. Oh boy,
Speaker 1: oh boy, that was beautiful. If any of you have
Speaker 1: questions for me, or you doubt or you think that
Speaker 1: I've ripped off stuff, you should know on other subjects
Speaker 1: and are not willing to just accept that we think
Speaker 1: about the same things a lot like your show. We're
Speaker 1: both trying to explain everything, so there's found to be
Speaker 1: some overlap. Yeah, but I've been at it since two
Speaker 1: thousand five exactly, and I also don't care about facts.
Speaker 1: But if any of you have questions for me and
Speaker 1: wish to or for that matter, accusations for me, won't
Speaker 1: you please come and see me. I am now on
Speaker 1: book tour. At least Hodgeman actual is now on book tour. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is all right. So this is November one, right,
Speaker 1: So November one, I am in Brooklyn at the Bellhouse.
Speaker 1: November two, I am in Chicago at the Second City, Etc. Stage.
Speaker 1: November three, I am in St. Louis, Missouri. Let me,
Speaker 1: you're really getting around? How how will you beginning from
Speaker 1: place to place in such a short amount of time?
Speaker 1: I bought I traded Nick Mangold my burning Zeppelin for
Speaker 1: his um penny Farthing motorcycle. Oh yeah, that seems even
Speaker 1: because Zeppelin was burning. Yeah, yeah, it's fantastic. November three,
Speaker 1: I'll be in St. Louis, Missouri at the Mad Art Gallery.
Speaker 1: November four, I'll be in Los Angeles, California, with Mr
Speaker 1: Paul F. Tompkins and Mr John Roderick November six. I'll
Speaker 1: be in Portland, Oregon. I believe Roderick will be there,
Speaker 1: and I know that will be in Seattle at town
Speaker 1: Hall on November seventh. Is Roderick playing or anything? Or
Speaker 1: is he? He'll be playing just and right then I
Speaker 1: go down to Austin, Texas, site of your live stuff.
Speaker 1: You should know podcasts UFO, which you mentioned in your
Speaker 1: books book good point. Oh you got me, you got me?
Speaker 1: Ancient astronauts, Yeah, you got me, you got me. November
Speaker 1: eight that book People, one of the great independent book
Speaker 1: stores of all time. Then Durham, h North Carolina at
Speaker 1: the Durham Armory November nine with the Regulator at the
Speaker 1: Regulator Bookshop with son of North Carolina, David Reese uh.
Speaker 1: And then in Asheville, North Carolina, the college hometown of
Speaker 1: famous Tracy. Yeah. And then that will be on the eleventh,
Speaker 1: just a few hours drive from here Atlanta, by the way.
Speaker 1: And you're not swinging, No, I can't. Unfortunately, I feel
Speaker 1: very bad about it. But here I'm here now. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Then I'm back in New York November four at the
Speaker 1: Barnes and Noble in the November at the Coolidge Corner
Speaker 1: of It in my hometown of Brookline, Massachusetts, and then
Speaker 1: November six at the Fitzgerald Theater and St. Paul an
Speaker 1: extra special episode of WITS, a public radio show hosted
Speaker 1: by John Moe, starring me and special guest John Darniel
Speaker 1: of The Mountain Goats, one of my favorites. Boy oh boy,
Speaker 1: if you wanted a crazy couple, we gets a Crazy
Speaker 1: Cuckoo tour. I really hope that people will come out.
Speaker 1: You have to buy tickets, but you get a copy
Speaker 1: of the book with the ticket, and I will sign
Speaker 1: every book that that comes there. And I will talk
Speaker 1: to you all and answer your questions, and I will
Speaker 1: respond to your accusations and and and I will and
Speaker 1: I will not be holographic. I will be Hodgeman actual.
Speaker 1: That's great, So thank you very much for letting me
Speaker 1: come buy again. Guys, of course, but it sounds like
Speaker 1: I'm saying goodbye, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: come back the next one. Yeah, sorry, We're doing another one,
Speaker 1: all right. Well, until then, what today's Tuesday, I'll see you. Well,
Speaker 1: the holograph will re emerge, so we have to do
Speaker 1: with the holograph again. You're making us do a fourth
Speaker 1: one of these and you're not even coming down here,
Speaker 1: right because when well when when are you on again?
Speaker 1: Thursday the third, so you'll be aware. I'll be in St.
Speaker 1: Louis Oka, gay Way to the west. All right. Well,
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