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Speaker 1: You hopeless theaters one dating app then dares you swipe right?

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Speaker 2: The question is.

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Speaker 1: Whose love life is more tragic?

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Speaker 3: It's Battle of the Tinder Dates. It's the hot dating

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Speaker 3: game show that President Franklin Roosevelt used to play in

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Speaker 3: the Oval Office with his wife eleanor really that'll love

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Speaker 3: the Tender Dates where we find out whose love life

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Speaker 3: is the most tragic until somebody loses feeling from the

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Speaker 3: waist down.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, when we know who won.

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Speaker 3: With FDR and we'll explain the rules in just a second,

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Speaker 3: But first let's meet today's contestants. In this corner, his

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Speaker 3: go to move is recreating the pottery scene from Ghost,

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Speaker 3: but instead of pottery, he does it with taxidermy stuffing

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Speaker 3: pigeons he found in the park.

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Speaker 2: Say hello to dead bird Edward.

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Speaker 1: I'm just hoping that you found the pigeons already dead. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: why are you answering?

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Speaker 2: No comment from Edgard on that one.

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Speaker 3: And in the other corner, whenever she brings a guy over,

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Speaker 3: she sets the mood by throwing on her favorite nineteen

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Speaker 3: eighties at home aerobics video on VHS.

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Speaker 2: So that's why the.

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Speaker 3: Boys call her Jane Fonda. Cassandra I thought for.

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Speaker 1: Sure you're gonna be thigh master something.

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Speaker 3: But here's how the game works. One contestant will start

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Speaker 3: by telling one of their worst date stories. The other

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Speaker 3: will try and counter with the nightmare story of their own.

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Speaker 3: We're going back and forth for three rounds till we

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Speaker 3: declare a winner. We're gonna kick it off with dead

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Speaker 3: bird Edwards.

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Speaker 2: Let's do it all right.

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Speaker 4: So took the lady to a nice restaurant, and when

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Speaker 4: I went to the bathroom, I told her to order

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Speaker 4: whatever she want. You get what you want.

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Speaker 5: A little later, food comes out, and then more food

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Speaker 5: comes out, and then even more food comes out.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, yea, we always know one person who orders

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Speaker 1: like this at a restaurant, right.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, apparently she ordered everything on the menu.

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Speaker 6: Oh he did.

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Speaker 4: I couldn't decide, so I just got it all.

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Speaker 3: Yoused to literally everything, Cassandra, can you beat that?

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Speaker 6: I'm met a guy for some drinks and we sat down.

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Speaker 6: He asked me if I had it the credit score.

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Speaker 2: He asked about your credit score?

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Speaker 6: Yes, he did.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I mean, I've heard a lot of people like

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Speaker 1: want to know that in the dating world.

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Speaker 6: I understand that, but usually girls asked that question. But

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Speaker 6: he asked me and I just said yeah, like ooh,

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Speaker 6: yes I do. And then he whipped out some papers

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Speaker 6: told me he needed to be the co finn on

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Speaker 6: the car. Believe it.

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Speaker 1: So now you're the half owner of a really cool

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Speaker 1: Honda Accord.

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Speaker 6: Look, I told him my name is Cassandra, not your mama.

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Speaker 3: I heard the which means we're on the round too,

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Speaker 3: so Edward tossing it back to you.

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Speaker 5: Okay, So I invited a girl for a first date

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Speaker 5: and now have a decent apartment. It's pretty nice apartment

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Speaker 5: where you need to inser the code for the elevators

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Speaker 5: and in doors.

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Speaker 2: And right, wow, got locks and everything.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know it's place. I made a mistake of

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Speaker 4: giving them to her one day when she came into

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Speaker 4: my place.

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Speaker 3: You you gave the girl that you went out with

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Speaker 3: all the codes to your building.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, the actress code to get there.

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Speaker 1: Well you were too lazy to go downstairs. That's what

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Speaker 1: it is.

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Speaker 2: I feel you on that.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, So things didn't work out between us, but I

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Speaker 4: see her my place the next week. She was using

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Speaker 4: my apartment Jim to work out. So another time I'm

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Speaker 4: seeing her there with playing pool with her friends.

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Speaker 2: And did she actually move into the building.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so she never moved in, but like, I'm pretty

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Speaker 4: sure she got engaged and used my party room to celebrate.

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Speaker 3: It's still with your coach, just using the guest parking

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Speaker 3: in the garage, Cassandra, time to CounterPunch.

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Speaker 6: It's a guy and finding me to rooftop for drinks.

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Speaker 2: Rooftops are fun.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, but when I got there, it was an elementary

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Speaker 6: school parking lot. I'm like, okay, what And then we

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Speaker 6: went to the rooftop of the elementary school. He had

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Speaker 6: long hairs, he had little flowers.

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Speaker 1: Some wine, actually turning out to be nice.

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Speaker 6: It would have been cute if I was thirteen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, elementary school is not good.

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Speaker 2: You should have gone high school. Yeah cool. Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 2: We're on to the third and final round. We need

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Speaker 2: your best stories here.

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Speaker 4: So I've got this. I'm winning. I'm winning with this one,

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Speaker 4: all right, take it away, Edwards. I showed up to

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Speaker 4: a barn me the girl I walked in.

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Speaker 5: Everyone there just started clapping and congratulating me.

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Speaker 4: I was like, I was beyond confused. Yeah exactly.

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Speaker 5: They were like cheering, Hey, congrats, And she comes up

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Speaker 5: to me goes, Hey, I'm so sorry. I just came

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Speaker 5: back from my hometown and after being gone for a

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Speaker 5: few years, I told all my friends and family that

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Speaker 5: I'm engaged.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh god, wait, so people think she's engaged to you?

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Speaker 5: Yes, exactly, She's the whole night making them sorrious about

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Speaker 5: how we met.

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Speaker 4: Yes, weirdest date ever, hands down.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure she made up some horror story about how

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Speaker 1: you broke her heart and everyone hates you.

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Speaker 2: Now, Cassandra, here it is last shot.

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Speaker 6: I went on a date with the homeboy and I

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Speaker 6: woke in. I said, I'm having to meet Jerome Sorrry

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Speaker 6: Jerome the hostess Rota I.

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Speaker 1: At the restaurant.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know what's wrong. But she took me

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Speaker 6: to the back and Jerome was in the back and

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Speaker 6: he was walking on a treadmill.

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Speaker 1: Waites on a treadmill is in the back of the restaurant.

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Speaker 6: Yes, yes, I'm like, what's going on? He's in the

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Speaker 6: yeahl with me.

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Speaker 1: He brought a treadmill with him.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, he's gonna walk a treadmill because apparentily he didn't

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Speaker 6: get a step thing. Yeah, tell that.

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Speaker 1: Man he can walk in place.

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Speaker 2: Use cool brook.

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Speaker 1: Oh sorry, let's lug around a sixty pound treadmill like.

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Speaker 2: A true man.

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Speaker 3: Okay, can I get a table by the window in

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Speaker 3: ten feet of space so I can put That means

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Speaker 3: the matches over judges.

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Speaker 2: We need to score it, Alexis.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to Edward for the girl with your apartment Coach,

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Speaker 1: Edward Brooke, I can't get over dude on a treadmill.

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Speaker 2: Okay, tie it up. Jose gets the final choice.

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Speaker 1: I'm going with treadmill guy.

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Speaker 3: Wow. Surprise upset Jane Vonja Cassandra, Yeah, lonely data of

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Speaker 3: the week.

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Speaker 4: Wow, she said, if you.

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Speaker 1: Call her Jane Fonda.

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Speaker 2: Oh, okay, okay, I don't know what you're drinking this morning, Cassandra,

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Speaker 2: gonna definitely send them over to the studio. And then okay,

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Speaker 2: next time seven, eight, five, nine two.

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Speaker 3: If you want to appear on the next edition of

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Speaker 3: Battle of the Tinder Dates, your phone taps coming up

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Speaker 3: right after this

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Speaker 1: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning,