Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with Brooks Like and Gavin
Speaker 1: DeGraw and I heard radio podcast. Welcome to another episode
Speaker 1: of How Men Think. My name is Brooks, Like, Yes
Speaker 1: it is? And your name good sir, just co host,
Speaker 1: Mr Mr Gavin DeGraw. What's your middle name? What's your
Speaker 1: middle name? Um? It rhymes with name name lame dame,
Speaker 1: nailed it. That's Gavin. That's our producer. What is your
Speaker 1: middle name? How come I don't know this? Shane Gavin,
Speaker 1: Shane de Graw, Shane doesn't run with name, okay, but
Speaker 1: singer songwriter. Yeah, it's a soft ru My middle name
Speaker 1: is Brooks. Oh yeah, your first name is something else.
Speaker 1: We know this and so that's perfect because it's just
Speaker 1: boss like, I love very easy. Makes you really like
Speaker 1: the name Brooks? Producer Dan, what is it? What is it?
Speaker 1: Evan Brooks like because we've had the book Flights for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: no kidding. My very first name is Evan, but you
Speaker 1: can call me Brooks keV. Let's call you ev True story.
Speaker 1: When I was in like grade three, I changed my
Speaker 1: name to Evan for like a week. I was like, mom,
Speaker 1: I was going through I think I went through like
Speaker 1: an identity crisis grade three because I changed my name
Speaker 1: from Brooks. I was like, Mom, I want you to
Speaker 1: call me Evan. And I also changed from wanting to
Speaker 1: be a professional hockey player to wanting to be a
Speaker 1: professional tennis player. Why did you go by Brooks? By
Speaker 1: the way, true story. My dad's favorite baseball player was
Speaker 1: Brooks Robinson, and he thought he'd he'd love you more
Speaker 1: if he went by Brooks. I don't know, and so
Speaker 1: he wanted to call me Brooks, and my mom wanted
Speaker 1: the name Evan, and they thought that Evan Brooks sounded
Speaker 1: better than Brooks even who wouldn't fight Evan or Brooks
Speaker 1: Brooks stuffer Evans Evan sounds a little more studious. But
Speaker 1: true story, So I don't want to have a spelling
Speaker 1: be against him. Do you know who Brooks Robinson is?
Speaker 1: Do you know who? He was? Hall of Fame third
Speaker 1: baseman for the Baltimore Orioles. He was my dad's favorite
Speaker 1: baseball player back in the day when my dad was
Speaker 1: in in school, he used to take a radio into
Speaker 1: class and listen to the Baltimore Oriole games, and Brooks Robinson,
Speaker 1: oddly enough, was his favorite baseball player. Like this is
Speaker 1: in like the sixties and uh he my dad said.
Speaker 1: I was like, what, what did you love about Brooks Robinson.
Speaker 1: He's like, I loved his approach to the game. And
Speaker 1: I was like, what, this is really interesting. And then
Speaker 1: I got to meet Brooks and I got to throw
Speaker 1: at the first pitch at Camden Yards in Baltimore, and
Speaker 1: I got to meet Brooks and he was he was awesome.
Speaker 1: I phoned my dad right after. It was like, Brooks
Speaker 1: Robinson is one of the most humble men I've ever met.
Speaker 1: And he signed a bat for me. Said two, Brooks
Speaker 1: honored to meet you. See you soon, Brooks Robinson Hall
Speaker 1: of Fame. Three. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame,
Speaker 1: which was the year I was born. That's amazing. There
Speaker 1: you go. I just made that whole intro about me.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. Next time someone who cares. I had to
Speaker 1: feel some space today. I had to feel some space
Speaker 1: because GAV guess what mission? Mission, beautiful story, mission accomplished, Buddy.
Speaker 1: I think we should high five. We finally accomplished our mission.
Speaker 1: Have you washed your hands first? Huh? No flue season? Okay, no,
Speaker 1: our secret mission of getting rid of Rick secret mission.
Speaker 1: Ryan Dmitri are these guys today we're missing our other
Speaker 1: three dudes, Rick, Ryan and Dmitri are not here, so
Speaker 1: producer amys in with us. But this is I think
Speaker 1: the first show that you and I have ever done
Speaker 1: just solo. Is that is that true? Yeah, because we've
Speaker 1: always when it just was the two of you, we
Speaker 1: had like Freddie Prince, Yeah, we had a guess Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So finally, Buddy, we did it Boris on this radio island. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So that means I have to do even more lifting
Speaker 1: on this show because by all means have at it.
Speaker 1: But today we're doing. Today, we're doing one of my
Speaker 1: favorite things we've ever done. About a month and a
Speaker 1: half or two months ago, whatever it was, we did
Speaker 1: an episode called Gavin A Good Time So creative I love.
Speaker 1: And what we did is we took all our listener questions,
Speaker 1: we printed them out, we cut them up, and we
Speaker 1: put him in a hat and then we drew from
Speaker 1: the hat. And there were two rules when we played
Speaker 1: this game. There were two rules. The first rule you
Speaker 1: cannot skip a question. Whatever question you draw, you cannot skip.
Speaker 1: And the second rule is you have to be honest.
Speaker 1: And it was amazing. That was when we got done
Speaker 1: that podcast. I don't even if you remember it. Um,
Speaker 1: we all like high five and fifth bump right after
Speaker 1: we'd like, damn it, that was amazing. We had some
Speaker 1: amazing value today and the listener questions were awesome. So
Speaker 1: this is round two of Gavin A Good Time or
Speaker 1: if you guys had any other I call it come
Speaker 1: to things, maybe we should do Evan a Good Time.
Speaker 1: We could do something close to that. Amy, do you
Speaker 1: want to lead this up? Okay? Amy? So, Amy, you
Speaker 1: are the judge, jury and court martial and all of this.
Speaker 1: You are. You are the host of this, So you
Speaker 1: dictate who gets the question because you're pulling them out
Speaker 1: of the hat. You both get them. Well, who's this leader?
Speaker 1: Who's who's first one? Who are you leading? With you? Okay?
Speaker 1: So I can't pass on this. There's no pass Okay,
Speaker 1: dating than breaking up, then reuniting years later and getting
Speaker 1: back together. Thoughts, can it be better the second time around? Sure?
Speaker 1: I've never done that in my life. I've never ever
Speaker 1: done that, But sure, why couldn't it be? I think
Speaker 1: you change as humans. I think you have a great
Speaker 1: foundation of Uh, there's some history there. Um, there's obviously
Speaker 1: some fond memories. There was attraction for one purpose or
Speaker 1: for whatever purpose at some point in time, and then
Speaker 1: maybe it just wasn't the right time of your lives.
Speaker 1: Maybe the attraction is there, but maybe individually and as
Speaker 1: a couple, you just weren't mature enough you had ever
Speaker 1: at the right phase of your life to really under
Speaker 1: stand and also have the ability to communicate what you want,
Speaker 1: because I think I think that goes overlooked, is that
Speaker 1: what you want in life needs to be communicated, and
Speaker 1: sometimes we just lack the skill or ability to properly
Speaker 1: communicate or even process what thoughts we have. And so, um,
Speaker 1: maybe these people have evolved, grown matured and then come
Speaker 1: back into each other's lives at the appropriate time. So
Speaker 1: I'm all for it, Shane. Yes, Mr Shane, what do
Speaker 1: you said? I couldn't agree more. I think that's so
Speaker 1: well said. Um yeah, coming back into someone's life. I
Speaker 1: think that second time around is great, but you know,
Speaker 1: a third time is the charm? Really, guys, Okay, I
Speaker 1: won't go back in it doesn't work that second time.
Speaker 1: Go back the third time when you really got it
Speaker 1: together and be like, all right, I think this is Legitimately.
Speaker 1: We can't live like this, we like each other. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you a quick story. So Tanya rad our friend,
Speaker 1: Tanya Rab, that host scrubbing in love telling you her
Speaker 1: parents were married. I forget for how many years? Let's
Speaker 1: say fifteen years, divorced for ten years, remarried each other,
Speaker 1: have been back together and completely in love for another
Speaker 1: ten years, like better the second time around? Even they
Speaker 1: split up again yet and I don't think they will.
Speaker 1: Next question, why do guys constantly rest their hands in
Speaker 1: their pants? GeV E d previous elisode. All right, that's cool,
Speaker 1: but what is this question in their pants? Like where
Speaker 1: when we're standing, when we're sitting, when I think just
Speaker 1: having our hands And this was honestly an Instagram question,
Speaker 1: and I think it's how boys sort of sit, you know,
Speaker 1: when you're watching TV and you kind of sit with
Speaker 1: your hands down your pants a little bit. Oh that's
Speaker 1: a whole Okay, if you see guys in a movie
Speaker 1: and they're sitting there with like ears on the on
Speaker 1: the coffee table and they're watching sports and their hands
Speaker 1: are jammed down their pants and their crotch, that's total bolt,
Speaker 1: really it is. Dudes don't do that. Dudes don't just
Speaker 1: sit there like that. If they are, they're trying to
Speaker 1: be something. They're trying to prove something or show something.
Speaker 1: Most if you're a if you're a guy, that's what happens.
Speaker 1: Trust me, your nuts, your balls, whatever it gets itchy
Speaker 1: or you need to move it around, you give it
Speaker 1: a scratch. You don't sit there with your hand down
Speaker 1: your pants for thirty minutes. Everybody knows guys really just
Speaker 1: rest with their fingers in their noses. Isn't that what
Speaker 1: you're trying to say? You are throwing some in depth
Speaker 1: comments today. I don't disagree with you. I rested my hands,
Speaker 1: I mean kind of in the protective position, but not
Speaker 1: on top of it necessarily not jammed in the pants. No,
Speaker 1: not jammed in the pants. Who does that? Yeah? I don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's you know what that is. That's sort of like
Speaker 1: um sitcom culture too. It's sort of, you know, the
Speaker 1: way men are portrayed to be some kind of just
Speaker 1: over the top slob um, which is I think a
Speaker 1: typical I started the way men tend to be portrayed.
Speaker 1: And also on top of that, I think you're right,
Speaker 1: there are certain guys that celebrate their slabbed them in
Speaker 1: that regard of They think that's the most uh vile
Speaker 1: yet attractive, primal version of self, and that's what should
Speaker 1: be portrayed, you know what I mean. It's actually funny.
Speaker 1: Having having spent my whole life in locker rooms, it's
Speaker 1: it's funny to see it's funny. Yeah, it's funny to
Speaker 1: see guys try and act like guys because they think
Speaker 1: that's what locker room guys do. Like, even even if
Speaker 1: you're at a public gym and somebody's in the men's
Speaker 1: locker room walking around with no towel on, just dick
Speaker 1: swinging everywhere, it's like, put a towel on, man. I mean,
Speaker 1: in my whole life, in professional law rooms, you shower
Speaker 1: and then you come out and you put a towel on.
Speaker 1: It's just respectful. It's nobody wants to see your jumping.
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, there's a locker room, I can do
Speaker 1: what I wanted to get. Yeah, I get that, but
Speaker 1: there's be a gentleman like I have some respect for
Speaker 1: people around. Do you want to stare at my junk?
Speaker 1: Like why are you walking around with no twel or
Speaker 1: something like that? A guy like sticking his hands down
Speaker 1: his pants pretending to be a dude that's not a man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree enough that. No, let's keep talking about this
Speaker 1: because I think you're right. I think you're spot on.
Speaker 1: Bro good answers. What makes you you, Gavin you Brooks
Speaker 1: feel sexy or desirable as men? Not what do you
Speaker 1: like about a woman, but what makes you feel like, oh, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm sexy? Um? Is it supposed to be an object
Speaker 1: like that nice watch, you're like, some kind of clothing
Speaker 1: or could be anything. It's a great compliment makes you
Speaker 1: feel sexy. I think you know when somebody comes over,
Speaker 1: when they make the point to tell you, you know,
Speaker 1: you're looking dynamite, or you know, like the other day
Speaker 1: when when Amy was real nice and she said hey,
Speaker 1: what did you do? And I said what did I do?
Speaker 1: It's just like no man looking good? You know, I say, hey,
Speaker 1: thanks you. I really appreciate that. That makes you feel good,
Speaker 1: It makes you feel sexy, it makes you you know. UM,
Speaker 1: I think I think men really respond to verbal compliments. UM.
Speaker 1: I can't speak for women, of course, but I'm assuming
Speaker 1: women also respond in that regard similarly similarly, Um, But
Speaker 1: men like to be complimented just like anybody else. You know,
Speaker 1: just like just like the females he went. You went
Speaker 1: a totally different way with that than I was gonna go.
Speaker 1: I was gonna are you gonna go? What can I
Speaker 1: do that makes me feel sexy? That's how it us,
Speaker 1: That's how I interpreted the question. Mine is honestly training, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't train, I don't work out to look a
Speaker 1: certain way, Like I'm not a physique athlete. I trained
Speaker 1: for perform it's to be in amazing shape. I don't
Speaker 1: do body building or like that kind of stuff, like
Speaker 1: if you look at my body, I'm not an Instagram
Speaker 1: model of what you think of like a body. I
Speaker 1: always think that every time you put up something really
Speaker 1: short up like Instagram model exactly. So I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't train for physique, but knowing that I can perform
Speaker 1: athletically just makes me feel I feel sexy. I feel primal,
Speaker 1: I feel athletic, I feel masculine. I feel like yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I feel super comfortable. And I think comfortable,
Speaker 1: feeling comfortable and feeling confident make you feel sexy. I
Speaker 1: think that's interesting Also that you say that you you
Speaker 1: train to be essentially capable, not not beautiful, right, um,
Speaker 1: and I think that's it's ironic too, because I think
Speaker 1: that a lot of people who a lot of the
Speaker 1: sort of uh instagrammable physiques like you, like you mentioned,
Speaker 1: they're not that functional as far as athleticism is concerned,
Speaker 1: and and and just all you have to do is
Speaker 1: like the body of somebody who's like a you know,
Speaker 1: a boxer typically or you know a lot of these
Speaker 1: guys who play professional sports. It's not necessarily the sexiest
Speaker 1: what we are, what we're sold as a sexy zeke.
Speaker 1: But that's functional. But also I mean, but I don't
Speaker 1: have any judgment against that. It's it's not no, no,
Speaker 1: I mean neither. But it's interesting that there's people work
Speaker 1: out for different reason essentially. You know, if somebody wants
Speaker 1: to do yoga if fitness and wellness and is yoga
Speaker 1: to them perfect? If somebody wants to just run long
Speaker 1: distances like American runner, which doesn't build muscle, but that's
Speaker 1: how they feel confident and comfortable perfect. Like I I
Speaker 1: don't judge how anybody lives their life. I'm just saying
Speaker 1: for mine, I love the functionality of performance athleticism. Uh,
Speaker 1: and that makes me feel confident, which makes me feel sexy. Right,
Speaker 1: So if I was to apply that to life, if
Speaker 1: I thought, like you, with my workout routine, I feel
Speaker 1: not confident. All you got a voice of an angel?
Speaker 1: This is a good one. Why do guys hate quote
Speaker 1: dating labels? Like if you say, oh, we're dating or
Speaker 1: we're seeing each other or we're exclusive, they don't like that.
Speaker 1: And they also don't like to be you're my boyfriend
Speaker 1: or are you my boyfriend? They don't like labels? Why
Speaker 1: hold on? Maybe I disagree with all of that. I
Speaker 1: completely disagree with that. So in my life and in
Speaker 1: my mind, this is just me. I'm speaking for me.
Speaker 1: Dating somebody is boyfriend girlfriend? So like when you when
Speaker 1: if if I say I'm dating her, Like when Julianne
Speaker 1: and I started dating, I asked Julianne to be my girlfriend,
Speaker 1: like I asked her, will you be my girlfriend? And
Speaker 1: so they're was no gray area. It wasn't like are
Speaker 1: we a couple? Are we not? Like we went on
Speaker 1: dates and then I wanted to be dating her and
Speaker 1: I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes.
Speaker 1: So what happens when someone's dating multiple people? That's going
Speaker 1: to me, that's going on dates? I like when people
Speaker 1: This always confused me because somebody that people have different
Speaker 1: descriptions or definitions of the word dating. So when somebody says, oh,
Speaker 1: well she's dating him, I'm like, what does that mean?
Speaker 1: Like are they boyfriend girlfriend? Oh? No, they just went
Speaker 1: on some dates. It's like, okay, I just I don't
Speaker 1: know what. So I'd love to hear from our listeners dating.
Speaker 1: Does it mean you're just casually going on dates with somebody?
Speaker 1: Or does it mean you are exclusive boyfriend girlfriend? What
Speaker 1: does dating mean to you guys? I mean my interpretation
Speaker 1: of it, culturally speaking, dating was always a less serious
Speaker 1: thing versus someone distinction distinctively saying we're going out, we're
Speaker 1: boyfriend girlfriend? Oh so going we're going out that. It
Speaker 1: was always kind of that. That was always the way
Speaker 1: I've heard it, you know what I mean? When people
Speaker 1: are like, oh, were I date this someone? A date?
Speaker 1: And that's someone I date, it sounds almost like very
Speaker 1: very casual, you know what I mean? Um? Is it interesting?
Speaker 1: Maybe upbringing was the complete opposite. Yea, um, but unless
Speaker 1: you're saying, yeah, we're like we're a couple. Like to me,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. I think these millennials call it talking.
Speaker 1: They say, oh, we're talking, and I think that means
Speaker 1: they're going on dates. Hook Danielle, a millennial, just answered
Speaker 1: that means hooking up. Talking means hooking up. I don't
Speaker 1: know this is you know what I meant? Is that
Speaker 1: the less serious term for dating nowadays it's called hooking up? Oh,
Speaker 1: or just hooking up, or or just texting each other.
Speaker 1: Like dating essentially is kind of hooking up versus going
Speaker 1: out with somebody and we're seeing each other. We're seeing
Speaker 1: each other. Is that before dating or that's that's going
Speaker 1: on dates? Is dating? I'm seeing this girl? I hear that.
Speaker 1: It's like I made a commitment to you and I
Speaker 1: are exclusive. That's dating. Like to me, dating starts once
Speaker 1: I get the phone number. I'm like, hey, what's your name?
Speaker 1: Can I get your phone number? Cool? You're my girlfriend? Wait?
Speaker 1: Where are you going? I didn't know, but I'm now
Speaker 1: your boyfriend? Come back? Everyar the pickup line, like, can
Speaker 1: I at least get a wrong number? Next? What is
Speaker 1: your favorite food someone has cooked for you? M favorite
Speaker 1: food somebody has cooked for me. We're talking like the
Speaker 1: best meal anyone's ever cooked for you. We're talking about
Speaker 1: a romantic data. We're talking about like my mom's cooking,
Speaker 1: because my mom's amazing cook. My wife's amazing. Whatever you
Speaker 1: make of the question I of my mom's cooking. She
Speaker 1: makes this thing called cooking. It's a German pie. It's awesome.
Speaker 1: We're really cooking now, we're cooking here that My wife
Speaker 1: is a great cook too. She's a really good cook.
Speaker 1: So what's something she makes that you just love? She
Speaker 1: here's the thing I bought her, like this recipe box
Speaker 1: thing because we wanted to do some more cooking. So
Speaker 1: you got this like custom recipe box is a long
Speaker 1: time ago. Um, but she's a wizard. She just goes
Speaker 1: in the fridge, grabs a bunch of stuff, puts it
Speaker 1: all together, and it's different every time she cooks, and
Speaker 1: it's amazing. So I can't even pick one. I don't
Speaker 1: even know as Also, my buddy Christie Swan isn't amazing.
Speaker 1: She does all this Italian stuff. She's an amazing cook. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what could someone cook for you, Gavin? That could like
Speaker 1: be the way to your heart asking for a friend?
Speaker 1: Asking for a friend, Well, first of all, I can't cook.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty useless. In the kid, someone's cooking for you.
Speaker 1: So everything is pretty impressive to me. You know, like
Speaker 1: meat loaves, spaghetti and meatballs, steak, chicken, salad. Cook, let's
Speaker 1: cook that salad. Um man, I don't know. Uh, my
Speaker 1: brother is about the best cook I know. Um so,
Speaker 1: damn man. Pretty much whatever my brother is cooking, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Just food in general, you know,
Speaker 1: but I like really flavorful food, spicy. Some people like
Speaker 1: bland more bland food, I like. I like very well
Speaker 1: seasoned food. I like a lot of flavors. Not counting
Speaker 1: your job or your career, what trait do you have
Speaker 1: that you're the most proud of? So I'm assuming whoever
Speaker 1: wrote this that means Gavin can't say singing and you
Speaker 1: can't say hockey. Yeah, mine is easy. I've I've said
Speaker 1: it on this show before, I said, what's I've asked
Speaker 1: the question to um. I think it was when Derek,
Speaker 1: my brother in law, Derek was on. I asked, I said,
Speaker 1: what is your greatest success? And then I asked myself
Speaker 1: that question. Mine is following my instincts. So that is
Speaker 1: my favorite character trait is that I trust myself and
Speaker 1: I follow my instincts. I like that you know what
Speaker 1: I had to say. That's a that's a really special one. Um. Um.
Speaker 1: Picking up on people's vibes. I really picked up on
Speaker 1: people's Um. I can't say that I know everybody's intent
Speaker 1: when I'm dealing with them, but oftentimes I really, I
Speaker 1: really do catch it pretty accurate vibe on what what
Speaker 1: their what their intentions are when I when I meet them,
Speaker 1: or if I feel like they're a good or a
Speaker 1: bad person, or if they're extremely awesome or just conniving.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. Character Um, A lot of times,
Speaker 1: you know, I get lucky with that. Go hold on,
Speaker 1: Can I pay you a compliment? Yes? Please? Um, you
Speaker 1: look good in black today. So I believe in every
Speaker 1: in every interaction between two people, there's an exchange of energy.
Speaker 1: Either I get give energy or I take energy. And
Speaker 1: same for you, like either you give me energy or
Speaker 1: you take energy from me. In the time I've known you,
Speaker 1: you've never taken energy from me. You've always given energy.
Speaker 1: So every time I see you, and I hope it
Speaker 1: comes through on this podcast, like we have an awesome
Speaker 1: time to get and we laugh before the show, we
Speaker 1: laughed during the show, we laugh after the show. But
Speaker 1: I think It's an amazing, amazing character trait for a
Speaker 1: human when every time you think of that person and
Speaker 1: that's you in this case, you think of somebody that
Speaker 1: gives you energy than man and to me, you're very
Speaker 1: You really take my energy, and boy, boy, do you
Speaker 1: block me down? An energy vampire? Then you just keep
Speaker 1: coming around for the compliments of your clothes. But but
Speaker 1: this is, but this, I think is why you and
Speaker 1: I work you. Um you you're such a positive guy,
Speaker 1: and I find that so refreshing in the in the
Speaker 1: sort of alpha realm that we rub shoulders in so
Speaker 1: much of the time. It's nice to simply experience positivity
Speaker 1: when you're meeting meeting up with somebody. Know, it's always
Speaker 1: so complimentary, and it's and sincere. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: You're so genuine. I would say you're You're genuine demeanor
Speaker 1: is one of your greatest attributes. You are a genuine
Speaker 1: person and that's a beautiful quality for real man. It's
Speaker 1: very special. Appreciate you. This one's kind of juicy. I
Speaker 1: did not write it. Would a threesome be something you
Speaker 1: would agree to if your partner asked, wanted it? M okay,
Speaker 1: Vin is eating ice cream. Right now, while we're doing
Speaker 1: the show Man, there's doubling exploding. This is technically it's
Speaker 1: called mochi, and he's eating it and just exploded all
Speaker 1: over his hands. As I'm asking this important questions, I
Speaker 1: don't think I could. I I just no. I It's
Speaker 1: ask a question again, because all I can think about
Speaker 1: right now is this graba you've had that orge. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's the question. Would a threesome be something you would
Speaker 1: agree to if your partner asked or wanted it? So
Speaker 1: here's the thing, Like, it's amazing, that's pretty, it's amazing.
Speaker 1: Question right, they're going right? Also, what does your bedroom
Speaker 1: look like? It's amazing? Like how you learn and grow
Speaker 1: and how in a relationship some some things that you
Speaker 1: thought were laws actually aren't. That you you actually become
Speaker 1: flexible and fluid in in many things that you believed
Speaker 1: about a relationship when you're single, and then when you
Speaker 1: get into one, you learn like, oh, like I, I
Speaker 1: had a fixed mindset on that, and now I have
Speaker 1: a growth mindset on that, Like you because you learned
Speaker 1: somebody else's story and why it's important to them, and
Speaker 1: they challenge your point of view and you look at
Speaker 1: things differently in a partnership. UM. That being said, I'll
Speaker 1: acknowledge that, but this one, I just I don't know
Speaker 1: if I could ever get there. I just I can't
Speaker 1: ever see myself being physical with somebody else. Um, I don't.
Speaker 1: I just I don't think I can get there. Like,
Speaker 1: I just don't. I don't know valid. I think it's tough.
Speaker 1: I'd be interested if the partner wanted that to ask
Speaker 1: why totally, Hey, let's bring someone in. Let's bring someone in. Why?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? You know what exactly? You
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I love what he says. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean. It's like, hey, can we bring
Speaker 1: a third party in? I'm like like a referee or
Speaker 1: you know what's amazing about this? Um? So, thinking back
Speaker 1: to uh Intimate Knowledge podcast when Megan shared her story
Speaker 1: about this, which I commend her that that woman has
Speaker 1: a tremendous amount of courage for sharing that story. Um,
Speaker 1: but that's immediately what I thought of when I thought
Speaker 1: of this. Uh. And you know what, when I heard
Speaker 1: her story, if anybody hasn't listened to it, I think
Speaker 1: second or third episode the episode of Intimate Knowledge, I
Speaker 1: thought of her too, and like, um, go listen to
Speaker 1: that's another I heard podcast. But she tells a story
Speaker 1: very much of this, and I admire her courage to
Speaker 1: actually that she loved this person enough to pursue something
Speaker 1: that was like very much not a part of her
Speaker 1: and not what she wanted. She didn't want it, and
Speaker 1: then she felt a lot of shame. Um. But also
Speaker 1: there's I see so much courage in that kind of love.
Speaker 1: But then there's the fine balance of like also in love,
Speaker 1: you need to stand up for what you believe in.
Speaker 1: But like it was, her story was amazing. She did
Speaker 1: it for him, and I think she is very She
Speaker 1: was very forward she did it. She was saying, I agreed,
Speaker 1: he didn't make me. I agree. But as you see
Speaker 1: how like unselfish that love is and how beautiful that
Speaker 1: love is, like to it is. It is amazing using
Speaker 1: to think that you love somebody that much that you're
Speaker 1: going to do something that you just kind of don't
Speaker 1: agree with or something. But like obviously it didn't just
Speaker 1: happen where she snapped her fingers said, Okay, let's go
Speaker 1: with this. There's probably discussions, but I just have an
Speaker 1: appreciation if you just hear her story and hear her
Speaker 1: tell it on the Intimate Knowledge podcast. It's actually fascinating. Wow.
Speaker 1: I mean I listen, I I didn't hear that, uh
Speaker 1: that podcast. So I can't really speak for that person,
Speaker 1: uh specific scenario. But as far as sexuality goes, I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't see enjoying an activity that your
Speaker 1: partner isn't enjoying. And to bring in a third party
Speaker 1: that the other I mean, just the idea of that
Speaker 1: if someone if someone was going to bring in a
Speaker 1: third party and the person that loves them it doesn't
Speaker 1: really want that, I can't see getting I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: able to see any pleasure in that. Like, that's to
Speaker 1: me so weird that someone would even risk making the
Speaker 1: person that they love feel that uncomfortable potentially care for it.
Speaker 1: And and um, I think and and and it's it's
Speaker 1: it's so it takes advantage so much of that person's
Speaker 1: feelings for you to subject them to that, to the
Speaker 1: memory of that moment potentially that they didn't want to
Speaker 1: be a part of. And if that person was in
Speaker 1: a relationship, if that other person was in a relationship
Speaker 1: with you, and they wanted to explore things and they
Speaker 1: had a very candid conversation with you, like, hey, I'm
Speaker 1: not sure if this is for me, this and that
Speaker 1: I want to go blah blah blah. I say, all right,
Speaker 1: you could. I could understand a couple saying let's take
Speaker 1: a break, you know, you go chase down whatever you
Speaker 1: need to chase down in your life and figure it
Speaker 1: out and maybe we'll meet up somewhere down the road.
Speaker 1: I can't see trying to convince somebody to bring into
Speaker 1: a third party if I mean, this is so far out,
Speaker 1: like it's so it's so far out anyway, just the
Speaker 1: concept of it so far out. But if they were
Speaker 1: into that and trying to convince someone who isn't into
Speaker 1: it to be into it, um, that's just a bridge
Speaker 1: too far um in my opinion, because you're putting at
Speaker 1: risk that other person's sanity for for you, and taking
Speaker 1: advantage of their emotions for you, because they'll go to
Speaker 1: the ultimate extremes to accommodate you, to the point where
Speaker 1: I feel like you're just taking advantage of their love.
Speaker 1: That was Sometimes you say things that are so beautifully profound.
Speaker 1: That's very nice of you, but I just can't see
Speaker 1: doing that. But don't you love the whole, Like you
Speaker 1: can just feel it in the studio when he goes
Speaker 1: into he goes into this deep like pocket of thoughtfulness
Speaker 1: and mindfulness and share something that's just incredibly profound and noble.
Speaker 1: And because it's such a sort of a oh, let's
Speaker 1: have a threesome, like it's a conversation that's made very
Speaker 1: light of I find and it's sort of not that
Speaker 1: it's common, but it's sort of a common fantasy type
Speaker 1: of thing. And then you both really thought about it
Speaker 1: and understood the complexities of what it would really mean.
Speaker 1: There's also another thought to this topic is, um, who's
Speaker 1: I listened to? Who? Where? Where? Did I hear this?
Speaker 1: There's nothing nothing dirty can exist between two people in love.
Speaker 1: I saw that too, And so because people it's called
Speaker 1: dirty talk or dirty time, and it shouldn't be called dirty.
Speaker 1: Like I've shared this on this show many times, Like
Speaker 1: a big part of my journey in he's exploring my sexuality.
Speaker 1: And by that I don't mean if I'm gay or straight.
Speaker 1: I mean, like, in my sexual relationship, what is my
Speaker 1: sexuality and and what am I craving? And what are
Speaker 1: my desires? And what are my wife's and like how
Speaker 1: can we have this language to feed each other in
Speaker 1: and get everything we want and be sexually expressed to
Speaker 1: the nth degree and everything. And then I'm so glad
Speaker 1: you brought that up because we learned from Viviana, Dr
Speaker 1: Viviana months and months ago that sexuality is all about
Speaker 1: what you just said. It's not about like gay, straight
Speaker 1: this that it's about the overall, all encompassing sort of
Speaker 1: maybe what we'd call a sex life or something like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's when you look at the words. Sexuality by definition
Speaker 1: is capacity for sexual feelings. That's the definition of the word.
Speaker 1: But when you say sexuality culture society thinks it's gay
Speaker 1: or it's like, no, I don't like some people are
Speaker 1: figuring that out. That's fine, But like my journey is
Speaker 1: is discovering and learning and figure out my capacity for
Speaker 1: sexual feelings, which in my life have been very low
Speaker 1: on the priority list. I woke up as an athlete,
Speaker 1: wanted to train, wanted to eat, sleep, rest, perform, and
Speaker 1: priority or a sexuality was way below all of that
Speaker 1: for the majority of my life. And now I've discovered
Speaker 1: this and through leelad Deville, through Viviana, through Jaya, through
Speaker 1: doing this show, and also through my wife who is
Speaker 1: exploring a lot of this as well and brought a
Speaker 1: lot of this to to like shared a lot of
Speaker 1: this with me, and has perked my interest in UM
Speaker 1: through this show, like I've been exposed to a beautiful
Speaker 1: new side of life that I never ever explored or
Speaker 1: thought to explore before, and it's amazing for me. It's connection.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm interested to see what Gavin says,
Speaker 1: but sexuality is a connection on level that's so far
Speaker 1: beyond just your normal connection with people. It takes that
Speaker 1: interaction and connection with one other person to just an
Speaker 1: extreme he's processing over here. I mean, I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's kind of what you guys are saying. I
Speaker 1: think that question right now because I'm just I'm like
Speaker 1: really soaking up what you know your personal does anyone
Speaker 1: in the room. We have a couple of other married people,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to put anyone on the spot,
Speaker 1: but maybe tor too. Is anyone in this room open
Speaker 1: to a threesome? So when you know when you're younger,
Speaker 1: when you're younger, like as a as a teenage guy
Speaker 1: or an early twenties guy, like that's that's all. That's
Speaker 1: on your brain, like you're as a young dude, you're
Speaker 1: you're just thinking of like exploring and like that would
Speaker 1: sound amazing. And then once you grow and you get
Speaker 1: some emotional capacity and some emotional intelligence like you and
Speaker 1: in this stage of my life, like I'm looking for
Speaker 1: a deeper connection and romance, not well on topic of love,
Speaker 1: looking for love and connection. And on top of that,
Speaker 1: with that connection and with that that the emotional and physical, um,
Speaker 1: the combinations that happened with that, and and you know,
Speaker 1: you're tapping into nerve endings and you're tapping into that
Speaker 1: thing that cannot be touched your scene, And I mean,
Speaker 1: what more would you need but one person in that moment?
Speaker 1: I mean everything else would sound like you were multitasking.
Speaker 1: It would be like, oh, this is incredible, hold on,
Speaker 1: this person needs attention to over here, you know, like
Speaker 1: that it's so far, that's so weird. And um, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean you know, when you're when you're intimate with
Speaker 1: someone who you have great feeling for, um, they are
Speaker 1: all that you want in that moment and after that, yeah, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: and you are fulfilled. Um and and so um, I
Speaker 1: can't see the I can't see the experience with more
Speaker 1: than one person in a room like, I can't. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to do that, do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Yeah, I wouldn't. That's a fascinating purpose of
Speaker 1: the physical element of things to just elevate, just elevates
Speaker 1: all the things that could not be said or and
Speaker 1: and that connection is so the physical part of what
Speaker 1: happens is just it's an extension of all of those
Speaker 1: emotions and and those and all the ways you see
Speaker 1: ida in all these other capacities of your life together. Right, amazing,
Speaker 1: well said brother Amy. Next question, this is a left turn,
Speaker 1: But how do you feel about couples therapy? Sure? Why not?
Speaker 1: Like you couples go to you want a better diet, like,
Speaker 1: have a dietitian come in, you want a better body,
Speaker 1: have a trainer? Like? Why can people not do it
Speaker 1: for their relationship? I think that's actually a sign of health,
Speaker 1: not trouble. So many people think if like, oh, people
Speaker 1: are going to therapy, like even individually, even individually, if
Speaker 1: an individual goes to therapy, there's a stigma that there's
Speaker 1: something wrong with this person, that they are broken or
Speaker 1: they need to be fixed. And I've been to therapy
Speaker 1: it's awesome. The first time I went to therapy was
Speaker 1: last year because I was wanting to work through hockey stuff,
Speaker 1: to to be able to release and let go of
Speaker 1: a lot of the angst and frustration and resentment and
Speaker 1: unfulfilled dreams or goals that I had with hockey. And
Speaker 1: I sat down with this guy and he says, have
Speaker 1: you ever been to therapy? And I was like, no,
Speaker 1: He goes. It fascinates me when professional athletes, the amount
Speaker 1: of pressure that you guys are under that you don't
Speaker 1: have somebody to voice your emotions and feelings with. I
Speaker 1: cannot believe that you have never had therapy in your life.
Speaker 1: And and then I talked with him and I was like,
Speaker 1: this was the greatest thing. It was just a conversation
Speaker 1: about what I was feeling, what I was thinking. And
Speaker 1: the term therapy has such a negative connotation culturally, and
Speaker 1: that's for an individual, and I believe that's for a
Speaker 1: couple as well. Instead of they're broken or in trouble,
Speaker 1: they're actually healthy because they are working to have the
Speaker 1: best life or relationship possible. I see I see it
Speaker 1: as a sign of strength and health. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: started to disagree with you there. I think I think
Speaker 1: someone who cares enough to go to therapy it's a
Speaker 1: sign that there at least sane enough to know that
Speaker 1: they need help. Y um. Although I would say that,
Speaker 1: you know, I think it's I would even say strong
Speaker 1: enough to say they want wants, maybe not need, but
Speaker 1: want help. I agree with you, And I also think
Speaker 1: that people also have to bear in mind that that
Speaker 1: there's going to be better and worse versions of that,
Speaker 1: and there's gonna be people who are more or less
Speaker 1: gifted at that with you, So I don't think necessarily
Speaker 1: that someone goes to a therapy session necessarily finds the
Speaker 1: right person to talk to, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: They may have to go to more than one person
Speaker 1: to find the person that is the right therapist for them,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Because let's let's be let's
Speaker 1: be clear, and let's be fair. A therapist as a
Speaker 1: human being, and and we all know as human beings
Speaker 1: that some of us are better or worse at our professions,
Speaker 1: and we all know that there's people who are better
Speaker 1: at the same profession and that we do, and there's
Speaker 1: gonna be people better at that profession that you may
Speaker 1: go to. So you know there's better singers out there
Speaker 1: in the world than I am. I know that. So
Speaker 1: there's going to be better therapists out there than maybe
Speaker 1: the one that you're going to right now, you know,
Speaker 1: and and so um, I think that's also fair to say,
Speaker 1: and something to keep in mind. You might not find
Speaker 1: the right one right away. It may take you a
Speaker 1: bit important, you know what. You know? What else is
Speaker 1: what I did. But I do understand the stigma with it,
Speaker 1: and I do understand the apprehensions of doing it, I
Speaker 1: really do, you know. You know, people talk, even professionals.
Speaker 1: You know. What I like about like a therapist is
Speaker 1: they have they have tools and a skill set. So
Speaker 1: if you have a problem or an issue or something
Speaker 1: you want to resolve, that's why you go there. You
Speaker 1: have something you want to resolve. They can come at
Speaker 1: it and a couple of different ways with different activities
Speaker 1: or skills or questions or things that they can do
Speaker 1: to really help you get some clarity on that. That's
Speaker 1: and that's where I think they're super valuable. They've been
Speaker 1: trained in that element and that's really helpful when you
Speaker 1: have something you're trying to work through, a resolve or
Speaker 1: figure out to get clarity. The other thing that I
Speaker 1: think is cool about going to therapists is that if
Speaker 1: you ever do under in a therapy session, know that
Speaker 1: whoever you're talking to the therapist is always crazier than
Speaker 1: you are. Well, you're the one paying them to be there.
Speaker 1: So are you sure I've had there? Because that really
Speaker 1: changed my life? Have you guys? Yeah? I have. I
Speaker 1: have one that I've seen for this for hockey, I've
Speaker 1: had actually multiple people. I don't know if i'd call
Speaker 1: them therapists. UH can call them performance coaches, can call
Speaker 1: them whatever you want. But like people that have helped me,
Speaker 1: even mentors, you call mentors people that have helped me
Speaker 1: work through some of my personal stuff with my sport
Speaker 1: and wanting wanting to release any sort of like any
Speaker 1: sort of chains or remnants are or um anything it
Speaker 1: still has grip that it has on me so I
Speaker 1: can smoothly, efficiently and like happily transition to a new
Speaker 1: phase in my life. You know what? I think? It's
Speaker 1: also when people are talking about who they speak to,
Speaker 1: what they say, why they don't want to go to
Speaker 1: their therapist or talk to somebody, And I understand that
Speaker 1: because I don't go to therapist. But I do have
Speaker 1: conversations with people, you know, and uh, and I know therapists. UM.
Speaker 1: It kind of reminds you this conversation I had one
Speaker 1: time with this preacher and I'm sitting in this uh,
Speaker 1: in this place, and he says me, tell me about
Speaker 1: your relationship with God. And at that time, I says, uh.
Speaker 1: I said to him, what relationship with God? And uh
Speaker 1: he said, well, what do you mean? And I said, well,
Speaker 1: I feel like I believe, but I feel like I
Speaker 1: just feel uncomfortable going to churches now. And he said
Speaker 1: why and I said, just I feel like I've messed
Speaker 1: up so many times. I feel guilty when I walked
Speaker 1: through the doors. And and he says, uh, tell me more.
Speaker 1: And I told him some more. I said, I feel
Speaker 1: like I did this wrong, I did that wrong, I
Speaker 1: did this, and I did that. And we spoke for well.
Speaker 1: I spoke for several minutes at this man, very nice man.
Speaker 1: And then he said to me, when I was done
Speaker 1: with my little spiel and my my guilt, he said
Speaker 1: to me, look at me, he said, he said, do
Speaker 1: I look phased? I said no. He said, do you
Speaker 1: think that maybe I haven't done all those same things.
Speaker 1: I said, I don't know, he said, he said, do
Speaker 1: I look like I haven't heard all of those exact
Speaker 1: same things before and maybe done all of those same
Speaker 1: things before. I said, I don't know. He said, I
Speaker 1: just want you to know everything you're saying. It's completely normal.
Speaker 1: I hear this all the time. Mhm and uh. I
Speaker 1: would say that that was a form of therapy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so I would say that there's many different types
Speaker 1: of therapists and let's not give them necessarily a title.
Speaker 1: Just know that they said, there are many different types
Speaker 1: of people who do this type of emotional work. And
Speaker 1: essentially what I'm saying is the help is out there
Speaker 1: for people who were looking for it, and there's a
Speaker 1: lot of different ways to start that conversation. Amen. You know,
Speaker 1: well done is insecurity unattractive, but hey, but full disclosure,
Speaker 1: we all have it. I have it, full disclosure. We
Speaker 1: all have insecurities. We all have it, we all do.
Speaker 1: Couldn't agree more. Um, And it's actually, it's actually can
Speaker 1: be super beautiful when you see that in somebody, Like
Speaker 1: when you see somebody is insecure about something and it's okay,
Speaker 1: like you, That's part of being in a relationship, you
Speaker 1: learn each other's insecurities and you try and support people
Speaker 1: to each other through it and stuff. Um, but when
Speaker 1: the when the insecurity is almost a reeking of desperation,
Speaker 1: that's when it's unattractive. Insecure, Like if you put me
Speaker 1: up on stage next to Gavin to sing like I'm
Speaker 1: the world's worst singer, like I'm gonna be our dancing
Speaker 1: like my wife is a world champion dancer. I'm not
Speaker 1: a dancer. I am a dance I should say that
Speaker 1: I am a dancer, but I'm not a trained dancer.
Speaker 1: So yeah, there's like an insecurity side. Take off my
Speaker 1: shirt next to Brooks and my stomach and you know,
Speaker 1: I don't have an eight pack. That's more like a
Speaker 1: pony gig. But people that embrace their insecurities, that's a
Speaker 1: that's actually such a beautiful and courageous and like and
Speaker 1: like it's an amazing thing. But then people that try
Speaker 1: their insecurities have a reek of desperation or they try
Speaker 1: and overcompensate for them or something that that's actually a
Speaker 1: turn off. Is self deprecation unattractive to you? Or is
Speaker 1: it attractive to you? I like self deprecating humor. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so I think sometimes there there are versions of Right,
Speaker 1: we were just talking about this, Brad Pitt has just
Speaker 1: figured out well because he's so self deprecating and he's
Speaker 1: so smart and witty and funny that it just makes
Speaker 1: you love him more. I'm good actor too, you know.
Speaker 1: And he know he's not just a pretty face. You know,
Speaker 1: he earned his success. He's got lots of talent. I
Speaker 1: would leave Gavin and the gutter immediately. But what if
Speaker 1: I like bursting the door with the Legends of the
Speaker 1: Fall music playing behind me and blowing against me? So
Speaker 1: the you know, I think that there are many different
Speaker 1: versions of this, this sort of Uh, I'm just thinking, like,
Speaker 1: you don't even know, but you and Amy are dating,
Speaker 1: like Abi's amis. Aby's probably telling you about our boyfriends
Speaker 1: in town. Just gotta think with their boyfriend tonight, you know.
Speaker 1: But it's just a podcast with you you don't even know. Well.
Speaker 1: I think I think that that that the when people
Speaker 1: are insecure, you know, some people wear it on their sleeve,
Speaker 1: their insecurities. Some people have really overcompensate for the insecurity.
Speaker 1: I think I think a lot of it has to
Speaker 1: do with how we're seeing them get through their insecurities
Speaker 1: because how we how they conquer or at least deal
Speaker 1: with their insecurities is very telling about the other parts
Speaker 1: of their personality type. And the thing is that we
Speaker 1: may or may not be attracted to you know. Um
Speaker 1: great point can add something there when when people when
Speaker 1: people deal with their insecurities with lashing out, yeah, with anger,
Speaker 1: with like like they just lash out. It's like, hey,
Speaker 1: you can just like you don't need to do that,
Speaker 1: Like we're not judging, you know, like and I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's just that's that's a really unattractive energy. Yeah, agreed, agreed,
Speaker 1: or like you know, just too much, just way too
Speaker 1: much opulence or whatever. There's a lot of different ways
Speaker 1: of I mean, you know, when you come come to
Speaker 1: a town like like Los Angeles and um, you know,
Speaker 1: you got for a walk and you know it's you
Speaker 1: can hit a Bentley with you know, with with with
Speaker 1: a rock just by lobbying it in the air, it
Speaker 1: will land on a Bentley around here, you know, just
Speaker 1: toss a rock up in the air and probably land
Speaker 1: on a Bentley, you know what I mean, Like everybody's
Speaker 1: driving a Bentley, don't get it wrong, beautiful car, but
Speaker 1: there's so much of that, and I think the the
Speaker 1: the having so much wealth on the surface really helps
Speaker 1: kind of create that, um uh, that feeling of I
Speaker 1: don't have enough money, Like when you go out on
Speaker 1: the street, like oh god, it's like, oh god, everybody's
Speaker 1: driving at two vehicle and I think it can really
Speaker 1: kind of wear a lot of people out. I remember
Speaker 1: when I first came out to Los Angeles, I just
Speaker 1: got my record deal, and I guess, by all you know,
Speaker 1: intensive purposes, I I was no longer broke, you know,
Speaker 1: because I had a record deal, but I wasn't I
Speaker 1: didn't have really money to speak of, and I felt
Speaker 1: absolutely so poor and um so outclassed, and I didn't
Speaker 1: fit in. I felt like I couldn't afford anything around here.
Speaker 1: I felt I felt I felt like I just felt
Speaker 1: like a broke kid, you know, just because there was
Speaker 1: so much wealth on the surface here and I had
Speaker 1: great insecurity about that, um And at the same time,
Speaker 1: I have to say, on the other side of that coin,
Speaker 1: it was motivational. So I think that insecurities also can
Speaker 1: become your weapon, because your insecurities also become your driving
Speaker 1: force a lot of times, and so I think it's
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say celebrate your insecurities, because you know, I
Speaker 1: don't think, oh yeah, I don't like this about me.
Speaker 1: I'll just tell everybody that I love that about me.
Speaker 1: I think it's I don't like this about me. I
Speaker 1: can conquer this thing, or I can find something that
Speaker 1: I'm great at to compensate for that thing and allow
Speaker 1: that to be the focal point of my life. And
Speaker 1: I think so and a lot of ways, I think
Speaker 1: that insecurities are just ultimately, at the end of the
Speaker 1: day good. They're good weapons for you to find a
Speaker 1: goal and to conquer the things that are essentially uh
Speaker 1: kind of holding you down in any way. Do you
Speaker 1: ever remember in like grade three where there's a like
Speaker 1: girl in grade three, like with her hand on the desk,
Speaker 1: like just blue eyes staring at the teacher. So like
Speaker 1: that's Amy all day to day, both equally bringing the
Speaker 1: bringing the goods. Today, I will say that I think
Speaker 1: our podcast has gotten better. I think our intent and
Speaker 1: purpose has leveled up with our shows. I am I'm
Speaker 1: so happy I said that. I agree in everybody stepped
Speaker 1: up and has been more honest, more vulnerable, no sugarcoating,
Speaker 1: none of that. Bs, I hate. This is a good one.
Speaker 1: What is your biggest pet peeve with your significant other
Speaker 1: or someone you have dated in the past insecurity, I'll
Speaker 1: tell you one that I don't like. I'll tell you
Speaker 1: one that I don't like. The inability to apologize. That's
Speaker 1: a great pet peeve of mine, because the only way
Speaker 1: I feel you can hit the reset button in scenarios
Speaker 1: that aren't going great with somebody is if you can
Speaker 1: sort of both sort of take a step back, apologize
Speaker 1: to each other, and then kind of start again with
Speaker 1: whatever you know, on a new topic, on a new
Speaker 1: week or whatever. That is. So the inability of someone
Speaker 1: to say I'm sorry, is it? Really that's a big
Speaker 1: one for me. I'm thinking deeply on this and actually
Speaker 1: when I because I don't want to just give a
Speaker 1: surface level answer, I want to when I think about it,
Speaker 1: I think, and I'm not saying this is my present
Speaker 1: relationship and I'm sure I'm just saying exactly what you said.
Speaker 1: When somebody has an inability to listen to understand what
Speaker 1: I'm saying and they immediately reply with something defensive, that
Speaker 1: to me is a real pet peeve. It's like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to communicate something that's very important to me.
Speaker 1: Don't attack me and get defensive based off emotion. Please
Speaker 1: try and understand what I'm saying and raise my hand
Speaker 1: here guilty of doing it. We've all done that, of course,
Speaker 1: how I learned. Everybody has listen to understand, don't listen
Speaker 1: to reply. Yeah, I agree, I agree. I think we've all.
Speaker 1: I think we've all done that. Show it was so
Speaker 1: good today. Okay. So you know the other thing is like,
Speaker 1: like you're saying with this communication, like you're saying, listen
Speaker 1: to understand, not to reply. I also think because a
Speaker 1: great level of lost things being lost in translation via text.
Speaker 1: So I FaceTime everybody have to tell you. I have
Speaker 1: to tell you in a relationship when you're texting, I
Speaker 1: have to say, the amount of inflections someone might throw
Speaker 1: into what you're saying when they read it out loud
Speaker 1: to themselves or in their own heads, what they're reading
Speaker 1: versus what you're actually saying. It's like, couldn't be further
Speaker 1: from what your intent is versus what they're interpreting, and
Speaker 1: that that can, that can It's unbelievable the difference of
Speaker 1: how far things can be misunderstood via attack. So So
Speaker 1: that's another thing is is inserting the sort of I
Speaker 1: don't know what it's like in your girl's heads. But
Speaker 1: oftentimes if I like, if I'm with a girlfriend of mine,
Speaker 1: like a friend of mine who talks like says something
Speaker 1: her boyfriend says or what guys say, they'll put in there.
Speaker 1: They'll do their guy voice when they're telling me the story,
Speaker 1: and I'll say, is that how we sound to you?
Speaker 1: Like that sounds like the absolute what a horrible man?
Speaker 1: You know, Like, well, what do you mean, horrible man?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, wait, is that how I sound to you?
Speaker 1: You know? What? What are you doing? So she's like,
Speaker 1: let me read you his text and they'll read me
Speaker 1: something and and I'll say, let me see that, and
Speaker 1: they'll just say, hey, honey, how are you today? And
Speaker 1: they're reading listen to this, Hey, honey, are so guilty
Speaker 1: of this? We are so guilty and weird. I've gotten
Speaker 1: past it. But I would text a boyfriend and I'd
Speaker 1: say like hey, and he would write back, I'll say
Speaker 1: it very robotically, what's up? And what I would hear
Speaker 1: was like what's up? Like why are you texting me?
Speaker 1: What's up? But like right, and like we text. I
Speaker 1: feel bad because we're a bit older where we use
Speaker 1: the phone more, where we actually talk. These young ones
Speaker 1: that just text, well, they are left. It's brutal. True story.
Speaker 1: I once I had a girl's texting me and she
Speaker 1: would put L O L after things and I didn't
Speaker 1: know what it meant lots of love and I thought
Speaker 1: it meant lots of love that she's just I knew
Speaker 1: she's pouring it onto me here just tonight, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I just think you're a friend, Like, back off the
Speaker 1: gas pedal here, no idea. I've been laugh out loud
Speaker 1: so recently, this guy I like, I did start texting
Speaker 1: the heart emoji? What color orange? Red? And because I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, he said something nice and I didn't want
Speaker 1: to write twenty words back, so I just was like,
Speaker 1: I'm just letting you know, I'm going to send the
Speaker 1: heart emoji because it's so much easier to communicate. Maybe
Speaker 1: go with the orange one. There, the blue one? What
Speaker 1: is the blue? Everybody like yellow? Orange? How black? Just
Speaker 1: a cold black heart. This is a great question, but
Speaker 1: I don't even think it's physically possible. What this question
Speaker 1: is asking anything is pib do guys fake do you
Speaker 1: have to say it? Don't answer this unless she says,
Speaker 1: do guys fake orgasms? Like women? Women fake them all
Speaker 1: the time. Well, that's sort of like an old you know,
Speaker 1: the women always fake it, but like, can men even
Speaker 1: fake it? Right? I think we know. I think I've
Speaker 1: probably done it in my life. What how I don't know,
Speaker 1: Like you're would use condensed milk or something? Well, no,
Speaker 1: you can't, you can't if you're doing that, but if
Speaker 1: you have, if you have a tarp on, right, That's
Speaker 1: what I was thinking. Okay, Well, I don't know. Is
Speaker 1: that is that adding value to this show? That question?
Speaker 1: That was a major question because they want to know.
Speaker 1: But I men fake it way less than women. It's
Speaker 1: harder to get away with it. Probably as a dude.
Speaker 1: Then yeah, And I guess everybody's doing it because they
Speaker 1: want the other person to feel like they accomplished it.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Wally, Yeah, I don't know. Next question,
Speaker 1: finding out your ex is dating one of your friends.
Speaker 1: How do you feel it's a little weird. That would
Speaker 1: be weird to me, That would be super weird to me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: trying to think, trying to think if I've ever set
Speaker 1: an X up scanning the brain. Have any of you
Speaker 1: ever set an x I. I really don't have contact.
Speaker 1: I move. I dated somebody, we went out like three
Speaker 1: times fifteen years ago, and then I set him up
Speaker 1: with one of my close friends and they kind of
Speaker 1: like each other. You went out three times, that's different.
Speaker 1: It's live together or married or something. Do you ever
Speaker 1: fantasize about being single when you are in a relationship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we couldn't. That's a single guy. Um No, let me
Speaker 1: let me before I just answer this, Let me think
Speaker 1: about this, because here's so I'm I'm I haven't seen
Speaker 1: this question. I had no time to prepare for this question,
Speaker 1: and I want to genuinely honor the question and actually
Speaker 1: answer this person's questions because for some reason they wanted
Speaker 1: to ask that. As when I think of being married
Speaker 1: and being in my relationship, truthfully, at my core, I
Speaker 1: don't see any other life for me, Like that's the
Speaker 1: life that I choose now, saying that any other life
Speaker 1: is a complete opportunity. If I wanted to today, I
Speaker 1: could completely leave my relationship. There are no laws or
Speaker 1: I am not that I can do anything. I believe
Speaker 1: in free will, I can make that pivot in my life.
Speaker 1: My wife could make that pivot in her life at
Speaker 1: any given moment. So opportunity is around at every second.
Speaker 1: It's infinite. Yes, that's truthful. Though. Opportunity is infinite. Opportunity
Speaker 1: not just to be with somebody, but to be single,
Speaker 1: to be to pivot and change your life. It's infinite.
Speaker 1: I choose the life that I have. I choose that
Speaker 1: every second of every day. I choose that life. Could
Speaker 1: you fantasize about being single? There are some amazing things
Speaker 1: that come with being single. Freedom, freedom to explore yourself,
Speaker 1: freedom to explore others and find out what you vibe with,
Speaker 1: what you don't, what you like, what you crave. There's
Speaker 1: some amazing things with being single. But you go to
Speaker 1: the super Bowl with Gavin, to the super Bowl with Gavin,
Speaker 1: have a nice steak. Finally, our duet could come out
Speaker 1: your big feature Evan Brooks. Yeah, um, but could I so?
Speaker 1: Could I fantasize about it? Maybe? But that's all it
Speaker 1: would be, truthfully genuinely to my heart? Do I do
Speaker 1: I actually want that? No? This is the one time
Speaker 1: today when I actually wish the other guys were here
Speaker 1: only once, because I bet you they have moments because
Speaker 1: they have kids where they fantasize about what their life was,
Speaker 1: or because people with kids just leading the single life,
Speaker 1: we are able to track. Yeah, for sure. I mean
Speaker 1: I know plenty of guys who are who are married. Actually,
Speaker 1: I know plenty of women who are who are married,
Speaker 1: and and you know, we all have a million friends
Speaker 1: and so and so. A lot of them say, oh, man,
Speaker 1: if I could you know, if I had to be
Speaker 1: single again, you know, and you're like really, like, oh man,
Speaker 1: it's a different world, man, it's a different world now.
Speaker 1: It's just different, you know. And like it's a very
Speaker 1: interesting hearing people who are married with talk like this
Speaker 1: because when you ask a married person, you ask a
Speaker 1: married person like, hey, do you want to go I
Speaker 1: don't know to this concert? They right back, that sounds amazing.
Speaker 1: Let me check with Bob, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's like they don't have total autonomy. Well you're, well,
Speaker 1: you have a partner. I mean, it's yeah. I mean
Speaker 1: I think that there's elements of it where people will
Speaker 1: desire or at least moments in their life, like you're saying,
Speaker 1: where to be single, to be able to just be
Speaker 1: whimsical but not necessarily, they don't necessarily want to do
Speaker 1: away with what they have. Like Kirk Brooks is in
Speaker 1: a beautiful relationship, He's in a great scenario, and you know,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that there's moments that in the back of
Speaker 1: his mind went to while he's like, you know, I like,
Speaker 1: he's going to hop in his car one day after
Speaker 1: work somewhere and be like, I'd like to drive to
Speaker 1: Vegas right now, just because I'd like to do it
Speaker 1: overnight right now, you know what I mean. Like that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff goes to people's minds a lot where
Speaker 1: it's whimsical and maybe I'll just drive three hours and
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Probably I can't for you,
Speaker 1: but but you know, there are probably those little moments
Speaker 1: that passed through where you're like, so, you know, this
Speaker 1: is just my story, this is just me speaking. I
Speaker 1: remember so vividly what it was what it was like
Speaker 1: to be alone, to be single and feel alone and
Speaker 1: feel lonely. We've had that discussion on the show, the
Speaker 1: difference between you can be alone and not feel lonely,
Speaker 1: you can be with somebody and feel lonely. Um, So
Speaker 1: we've we've had that discussion. I remember so vividly the
Speaker 1: feeling of being single slash alone and being lonely. That
Speaker 1: give that that feeling that's like bottom of the barrel
Speaker 1: kind of whatever feeling for me makes me appreciate being
Speaker 1: married so much more because I remember you talked about
Speaker 1: it hitting a real low. I believe after it was
Speaker 1: your mom. You told the story of your mom and um,
Speaker 1: and I remember that such a low place. Even though
Speaker 1: in my career I was I was in the best
Speaker 1: place ever, but personally I was very low and very
Speaker 1: alone and lonely. So that vivid memory makes me appreciate
Speaker 1: being married. And I think a lot of people, even
Speaker 1: when you say they have kids, if you gave them
Speaker 1: five minutes to be single and alone, they they'd love
Speaker 1: it for five minutes and they'd be like, no, I wanna.
Speaker 1: I love my life, I love my family, I love
Speaker 1: my I think you're right. I think you're right. And
Speaker 1: if if they wouldn't, they're obviously in the wrong situation.
Speaker 1: They should become single. I love this game so much.
Speaker 1: I want to end today's episode. I want to keep
Speaker 1: going with a similar We're gonna bring this back again.
Speaker 1: This is our best I love this, but I want
Speaker 1: to end this as we sort of ended I think
Speaker 1: the last time we played this game, BI with a
Speaker 1: question about my favorite person on the planet. What is
Speaker 1: your favorite Brad Pitt movie? Boy? Oh boy, I'm a
Speaker 1: huge Brad Pitt fan. What is my favorite Brad Pitt movie?
Speaker 1: Do you have one in your in your head? I
Speaker 1: loved Fury. I thought that was unbelievable. Did you see that? No?
Speaker 1: But I mean for me, oceans, any of the oceans.
Speaker 1: I just I love him in the ocean, all the
Speaker 1: oceans because he's always eating and he' just looked. He
Speaker 1: looked so good. I think. I think the reason I
Speaker 1: like Fury so much is because it was just I
Speaker 1: don't even know what that is. I have to google it.
Speaker 1: It's amazing. Yeah, it's a world an unbelievable film, and
Speaker 1: his performances is amazing in it. He just said, dude,
Speaker 1: you know you can see the strain you know what
Speaker 1: I mean on his face once upon a time in Hollywood.
Speaker 1: Did you love it? I'm not you didn't care for it.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen it. It was just my favorite Brad
Speaker 1: Pitt movie. Troy, that was great. He's just a bad
Speaker 1: He was great, and that when he's Yeah, I love.
Speaker 1: I love the part at the start of that movie
Speaker 1: when the kid rides up to find him and he's like,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to fight him. He's like so big,
Speaker 1: and then he leans down to the kid. He goes,
Speaker 1: that's why no one will remember your name. That slays him.
Speaker 1: And then he stands right in front of the whole
Speaker 1: army and then he goes, is there no one else?
Speaker 1: And he stands in front of this whole army, one
Speaker 1: man in front of the whole army and says, is
Speaker 1: there no one else in the army? Doesn't even budge
Speaker 1: and then the general comes up, and then Russell Crow
Speaker 1: walks out. He's like, let's cross these two movies together.
Speaker 1: That's what the Avengers. Could you imagine? That's what the
Speaker 1: Avengers basically do. You can you imagine bringing like Gladiator
Speaker 1: at Troy and any of those other ones? Do we
Speaker 1: really want to end on that st Brad Pitt is
Speaker 1: fifty six years old, young god. He looks as in
Speaker 1: great shape. I mean, let's let's I do like a
Speaker 1: guy a lot right now. But I would leave for
Speaker 1: Brad Pitt or Jason Bateman. Why not? New problem? And
Speaker 1: I told my boyfriend and he's like, I understand, understand.
Speaker 1: He also is totally panicking that I just called him
Speaker 1: my boyfriend. Oh no, that's the right, We're this This
Speaker 1: might out like a little while from that. We were
Speaker 1: just toome, He's all, we're barely dating and true, true,
Speaker 1: answer this truthfully? If we wanted to, could we get
Speaker 1: in touch with Brad Pitt and find out if he
Speaker 1: wants to go on a date with you? No chance,
Speaker 1: we couldn't get We couldn't get him on how many
Speaker 1: think we couldn't get in touch with him or we
Speaker 1: couldn't get him to see if you want to go
Speaker 1: on a date with you he doesn't want to? Well
Speaker 1: you don't know that. How dare you can? Because we've
Speaker 1: never met? But how do you know it's not possible?
Speaker 1: I only am friends with one person who's kind of
Speaker 1: friends with him. Perfect, get him in here? Who is it?
Speaker 1: He's also super famous? Let's face time him right now.
Speaker 1: We could But no, come Tom Cruise, No, I know
Speaker 1: who it is. Uh. He sends you, he you send him.
Speaker 1: He sends you voice memos and you send him text.
Speaker 1: So then it looks like you're this crazy stocker. Person
Speaker 1: said that it's just littered with texts on his page
Speaker 1: and he hasn't sent you anything back. Thank you for
Speaker 1: not saying out in his name. Yes, but I knew
Speaker 1: right away when you said, okay, so he's like my
Speaker 1: most famous friend that has the most famous friends. So
Speaker 1: do you know that? Ke? Oh, we're so tight. They're
Speaker 1: they're work o buddies. Totally. Yeah, Taco Tuesdays we do together?
Speaker 1: Is his body? That's right, that's my body double body double?
Speaker 1: When is true? When the lights go down and they're
Speaker 1: doing like a silhouette shot, like Gavin just goes backstage,
Speaker 1: has a whiskey and did just bring Brad out. I
Speaker 1: you know, when all those award shows were happening and
Speaker 1: he was giving those acceptance speeches, I was like mesmerized
Speaker 1: by him, just mesmerized. Like I remember sitting on the
Speaker 1: edge of my bed when he was doing the SAG
Speaker 1: Awards like a month ago, and I just couldn't move.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm a teenager, completely mesmerized by this person. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just envisioned this for a second. Gavin and I are
Speaker 1: able to get ahold of Brad Pitt, I could get
Speaker 1: hold of bread. Well, we'll do half like Doug Pit yeah,
Speaker 1: the brothers like around because in Missouri? Okay, anyway, what
Speaker 1: would you be like if you we got you a
Speaker 1: date with what would you be on the date? It
Speaker 1: would just be them taking selfies for about an hour
Speaker 1: and a half until security came back. You would be chill?
Speaker 1: Or would you be crazy? If I was on a
Speaker 1: real date with Brad Pitt, No, I'd be normal. M
Speaker 1: I think I would. I'd be like, would you want
Speaker 1: to have the date and like a year like they
Speaker 1: had in Troy. I just find him to be extremely charming.
Speaker 1: How many minutes into that date would you then go
Speaker 1: into the bathroom and then Senda's photo? You'd have to
Speaker 1: really play hard to get with Brad. I don't think.
Speaker 1: I think you'd have to really. I think the girl
Speaker 1: that is gonna get Brad Pitt is going to be like, whatever,
Speaker 1: Brad Pitt is your battle plan? What if he's so
Speaker 1: tired of that? Maybe every girl tries to do that
Speaker 1: and he's tired of that, and he's just like, damn,
Speaker 1: I'm famous, I should be a man, And I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's like, now you tricked me, tricked my brain there,
Speaker 1: my brain just exploded. It's true. It's also complicated because
Speaker 1: it was like, the hypothetical date with Brad Pitt turns
Speaker 1: out to be very difficulty because you're like, great, Am
Speaker 1: I hard to get? Or should I just throw myself
Speaker 1: at him because everybody's hard to get? Or does everyone
Speaker 1: throw themselves at him? Do you think he wants to
Speaker 1: go to this content? Consider just like pulling up in
Speaker 1: a TMZ bus with just a dinner for two and
Speaker 1: just leaving out there all night with the candles burning
Speaker 1: and a bottle of champagne on the on ice. The
Speaker 1: more we talk about it, the less likely it is
Speaker 1: that I'm ever going to get to go out with
Speaker 1: Brad Pitt. I think this ruined it. We're trying to
Speaker 1: talk it into the chances that I had gone. Now
Speaker 1: heard he's a big fan and avid listener of our show. Yeah, so, Brad,
Speaker 1: I appreciate you for all the You send us a
Speaker 1: lot of questions, and you reach out to Gavin and
Speaker 1: I with your questions that we talk about them. Um
Speaker 1: and I appreciate you support uh and we're here for
Speaker 1: you if you're looking for a date with producer Amy.
Speaker 1: By the way, who I love, I love you. You
Speaker 1: are one of the kindest hearted. She means not you, Brad.
Speaker 1: Is that what you're getting at is Amy not one
Speaker 1: of the kindest people you have ever met. Absolutely in
Speaker 1: your life, you will do absolutely more. You will do
Speaker 1: ten times more for anybody than they will ever do
Speaker 1: for you. And that means that she would probably do
Speaker 1: a hundred times more for Brad. You have one of
Speaker 1: the biggest hearts I've ever met, and the heart is
Speaker 1: a maze. So it's a big mane your heart. But
Speaker 1: it's actually very true because since I've got to know
Speaker 1: you too. That's one of the things I do love
Speaker 1: about there. It's a dark, dark web up there. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you come busting in that studio. Stop thinking this. One
Speaker 1: day you came busting in the studio. Here was a mess,
Speaker 1: outfit was a mess, sunglasses on. You took the sunglasses off,
Speaker 1: and then whoa. We were in here for about the
Speaker 1: next hour sorting through. I was bowling. I'm so much
Speaker 1: better though. I do have to say that I love
Speaker 1: your journey that like what month was that August? September?
Speaker 1: Is it was September, and like here we are March
Speaker 1: and it's like you're you're on number seven now and hello,
Speaker 1: it was seven Okay, do you have any more questions?
Speaker 1: So good night. This was so fun. It this was
Speaker 1: so fun. So I actually I appreciate everybody listening, but
Speaker 1: I all, guys, we also appreciate your questions that we
Speaker 1: always said we wanted this show to be a vessel
Speaker 1: of service for you guys, for men and women, um,
Speaker 1: and so we appreciate your questions. They come through on
Speaker 1: our Instagram How Men Think Podcasting and also at our
Speaker 1: email man at I heeart radio dot com, So please
Speaker 1: keep sending them to us. Gav I thought we did great?
Speaker 1: Do you and I rocked it? Amy brought it? U?
Speaker 1: Did we like? Did we get rid of the other guys?
Speaker 1: Or is this temporary? Is this a trial run? They're
Speaker 1: coming back, but just one week without that was so nice.
Speaker 1: Rick grand Dmitri Thous Yeah, I know they're fun to
Speaker 1: have around. Um. Okay, that's it for today. We'll leave
Speaker 1: it there. Thank you everybody for listening until next week,
Speaker 1: Take care of one another, Love everyone, love everyone, everybody
Speaker 1: loves everybody, and we'll see you right back here next
Speaker 1: right