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Speaker 1: My roommate stole all of my stuff, so I stole

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Speaker 1: something worse, her identity.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's a pretty strong thing to steal, you, identity.

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Speaker 2: Theftist not a joke, Jim.

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Speaker 1: Back when I was in college, I had a roommate

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Speaker 1: that I had met intro week over the summer. We'd

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Speaker 1: hit it off, decide it would be perfect, and it

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Speaker 1: was until it wasn't. So brought my TV from home

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Speaker 1: and my parents paid for cable for the room. If

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Speaker 1: I came home and she was watching TV, I didn't mind.

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Speaker 1: Then I just asked for the remote and she'd tell

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Speaker 1: me her show was on in three hours and I

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Speaker 1: couldn't use my own TV. Excuse me, bro, her parents

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Speaker 1: got the TV, she can't use her own TV. Come

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Speaker 1: out next. I had a storage bin full of snacks

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Speaker 1: i'd buy when my mom would send me some money,

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Speaker 1: just cereal, granola bar, you know college craft. I go

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Speaker 1: home for a weekend and then she would eat everything

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Speaker 1: everything I'm talking literally every single food item in the

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Speaker 1: bed and then leave me with nothing popper in the window.

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Speaker 1: She wouldn't even tell me she had done it. I

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Speaker 1: just find everything empty, and no, she never offered me

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Speaker 1: money or replaced anything. I tried talking to her about it,

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Speaker 1: but when that didn't work, I decided to get petty. Petty,

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Speaker 1: We're bad.

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Speaker 2: We love it.

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Speaker 1: She'd leave her ID everywhere, and I started taking it

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Speaker 1: and hiding it so she would have to get a

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Speaker 1: new one from the office. It costs twenty dollars every

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Speaker 1: time she had to replace it. I must have stolen

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Speaker 1: at least four hundred dollars worth of her ID cards

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Speaker 1: and she never realized. She just thought she kept dropping them.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. At the end of the year, when

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Speaker 1: we moved out, I packed up and was out first.

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Speaker 1: After I'd moved out all my boxes and cleaned up,

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Speaker 1: she left to go somewhere and I left all of

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Speaker 1: her misplaced ID cards on the desk on her side

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Speaker 1: of the room. Dude, that's like your joker card, you

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Speaker 1: know what. I Yeah, it's like, ah, I have done

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Speaker 1: the deed. I have done the crime. Now you see it,

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Speaker 1: Now you see it.