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Speaker 1: Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say

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Speaker 1: decision decisions. It sounded like you was talking to did

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Speaker 1: Carson you definitely say to welcome, Welcome to the new podcast.

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Speaker 2: Oh wait, you want to say together Decisions Decisions.

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Speaker 3: Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Decisions Decisions.

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Speaker 1: Oh I'm your girl, madyb I'm your girl Weezy.

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Speaker 2: And if you don't already know yet, we have a

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Speaker 2: course that is available when you pre order this book

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Speaker 2: with No Holds Barred. I just got done sitting down

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Speaker 2: with Maria Matchmaker area, who's our guests today for the course,

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Speaker 2: And it's definitely going to be different. It was all

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Speaker 2: about like green flags, red flags. And it was so

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Speaker 2: interesting to me because we've heard about you for a

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Speaker 2: long time. I know you record here matchmaking dating coach.

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Speaker 2: We've had so many recently, and I was like, is

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Speaker 2: this going to be the same, And I realized now.

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Speaker 3: Well, I honestly, with the matchmakers or dating coaches whatever

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Speaker 3: they call themselves, everyone has different. Like, let's be very clear,

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Speaker 3: we had one that focused on high network women wanting

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Speaker 3: to find love and get married. Then we had a

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Speaker 3: black gay male telling black women how to date, he's great,

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Speaker 3: he could be great to everyone. I love that we

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Speaker 3: all have different opinions. I have my thoughts on him.

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Speaker 3: So when knowing that you were coming on here, I'm

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Speaker 3: really excited and not expecting the same conversation at all.

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Speaker 3: I'm really excited to how you feel like someone could

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Speaker 3: be successful in dating.

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Speaker 2: Well, honestly, I don't know if we've had a match

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Speaker 2: maker right, So my conversation I was, what I was

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Speaker 2: trying to say was we've had dating coaches. When speaking

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Speaker 2: to you, you gave great dating advice, But it seems like

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Speaker 2: if I'm a listener of the show, I may be

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Speaker 2: hearing the same thing. But matchmaking is truly different because

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Speaker 2: you've got to air people.

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Speaker 1: Are you like millionaire matchmaker? I'm a fourth generation match maker?

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Speaker 1: What is fourth generation match My grandmother, her mother, her

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Speaker 1: grandmother were matchmaker. No way, bo Baby, But I'm not.

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Speaker 1: It's so different your company a GOFE, Like, what do

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Speaker 1: you do so at a GOPI match we set people

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Speaker 1: up for a living, We set up first and second dates,

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Speaker 1: we coordinate them for our clients. Yeah, and but it's

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Speaker 1: very different, Like I say, Nepo, Baby and Jess because

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Speaker 1: what my grandmother did setting up people in a war

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Speaker 1: torn country in Greece, uh and getting paid in goats.

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Speaker 1: The matchmaking in the history of it and Greece came up. Yeah, yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: it's it's interesting because I was actually at an event

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Speaker 1: yesterday with a bunch of Greek people and they don't

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Speaker 1: give ash for that. I'm a fourth generation matchmaker. They're

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Speaker 1: like a few are so am I because match making

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Speaker 1: was rampant, like you know, Americans love the matchmaking lore

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Speaker 1: of like generational, but like Greek people are like, okay,

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Speaker 1: we there's a matchmaker in every county or every village.

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Speaker 1: And then it stopped in nineteen eighty why what Yeah,

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Speaker 1: why because Cosmo came to Shore. So Cosmopolitan the magazine,

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Speaker 1: This is my theory. I was like, this is grea god. Wait,

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Speaker 1: so the magazine came to Short So you know, Greece

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Speaker 1: went through a dictatorship in the sixties and seventies and

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Speaker 1: women had to be conservative, they had to wear certain things.

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Speaker 1: There was curfews, right, and then we got democracy back

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Speaker 1: nineteen seventy four, and then you know a lot of

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Speaker 1: reforms started happening. And Cosmo comes to Shore in nineteen

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Speaker 1: seventy eight. And what happens in that period is that

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Speaker 1: people are now reading from British and American writers how

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Speaker 1: a woman can be empowered, how she can ask for sex,

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Speaker 1: how she can date, and suddenly all of this new

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Speaker 1: vocabulary that didn't exist before was in the lexicon. So

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Speaker 1: then fast forward to nineteen eighty one. This this the

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Speaker 1: one of the parties is running on women's reform, getting

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Speaker 1: rid of dowries, making sure that women and men are

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Speaker 1: paid equal, making sure women have full access to contraceptives.

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Speaker 1: So women and men immediately get full rights in nineteen

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Speaker 1: eighty one. And also women stop changing their names because

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Speaker 1: of this reform. So in which oh you know they

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Speaker 1: did it? Give arranged marriage? Is that why matchmaking? No,

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Speaker 1: it's just match meeking went away from the matchmaker in

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Speaker 1: your village and your community, or your parental match meeking.

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Speaker 1: Like my in laws met in the seventies, so they

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Speaker 1: had parental match meeking at work, whereas my parents met

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Speaker 1: in the eighties, and that's a love marriage. And what

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Speaker 1: gave way was that match meeking done by like my

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Speaker 1: grandmother was handed off to the meddling best friend. So

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Speaker 1: it's still to this day when in Greece. When people date,

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Speaker 1: they date like my parents dated, which is let's say

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Speaker 1: you and I were dating. Let's say you're the woman,

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Speaker 1: I'm the man. You're a woman. But let's say you're

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Speaker 1: the woman, I'm the man, and we're dating. When we

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Speaker 1: have a party at our house or it's your birthday,

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Speaker 1: we're going out, You're gonna invite all your girlfriends. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna invite all my guy friends and they have to approve. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: they're just they're just we're all just co ed mingling.

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Speaker 1: And essentially you would none tell your friend like, oh

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Speaker 1: I like this person or I like this person. That's

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Speaker 1: what happens in the city. Bring an ex, yeah, friend

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Speaker 1: of a friend. But no, but they're actually friends, right,

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Speaker 1: It's just your friends are pairing up with each other.

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Speaker 1: And because because of how we get married there, we

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Speaker 1: have this concept of kubaria where the priest does not

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Speaker 1: put the you know, it's not your official witness. You

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Speaker 1: have an official witness who's part of your family. So

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Speaker 1: hear me out for a second. We have this, We

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Speaker 1: have this concept of kuba. Whoever introduces you, I just

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Speaker 1: want to say, this bitch took my whole outline. I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, I'm teasing you. You know, we can dig

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Speaker 2: into the history of stuff. Now this was in the Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So kubaria is essentially if you, if you introduce me

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Speaker 1: to my spouse, then you would be my official witness

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Speaker 1: at the wedding. And because you introduced us, you'd be

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Speaker 1: putting the rings on our fingers, not my husband. To me,

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Speaker 1: you are putting the rings on my fingers. You are

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Speaker 1: the accountability partner person from the church. Not like that,

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Speaker 1: does it right? Oh wait, I would put the ring

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Speaker 1: on your finger, not even my partner. Yeah, oh wow,

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Speaker 1: right if you you and oh girl fall out. Well,

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Speaker 1: so the church, our culture believes so because you're you're

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Speaker 1: my kubata for life, right, So that that means that

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Speaker 1: Think about now, if it's in the church, it's anointed

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Speaker 1: by oil. Oil is thicker than blood. You are my

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Speaker 1: chosen family. This is why Greek weddings are huge, because

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Speaker 1: when someone invites me, they got to invite my cubata,

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Speaker 1: by my other kubata whoever is you know, who are

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Speaker 1: my kubadi? Who are this is my chosen failing that

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Speaker 1: has such a higher influence than your biological family. H wow,

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Speaker 1: like you're you would be a higher ranking than my

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Speaker 1: own sister. It's like a god mom out of baptism,

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Speaker 1: Like this is a religious thing. This is a kid

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Speaker 1: that's again and now a new kubato so again anointed

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Speaker 1: by oil. That is my Like this is the Greek culture,

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Speaker 1: this is Greek religious. It's not religious. To write it

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Speaker 1: into religious this is why it's like cut it out already. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: So question for you. I was digging on your website

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Speaker 1: and I was like apply. Yeah, now one would think

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Speaker 1: you got to get on the dollars for this job.

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Speaker 1: Like why wouldn't you a client? Why do people have

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Speaker 1: to apply for matchmaking service? And like what's the criteria?

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Speaker 1: What your first match has to be with your matchmaker? Okay,

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Speaker 1: like a therapist possibly, although I can't do things that

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Speaker 1: therapists can do, just like they can't do certain things

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Speaker 1: that I can't do. Right, therapists can't necessarily tell you,

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Speaker 1: you know, break up with them. They have to get

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Speaker 1: you to figure out your triggers and acknowledge the emotion

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Speaker 1: that you're feeling. Whereas I can be a little no

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Speaker 1: nonsense and be like just break up with them. But

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Speaker 1: with that said, when someone applies, we have to interview them.

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Speaker 1: We have to figure out do we have matches for you.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be unethical and take someone on

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Speaker 1: that I have no one for, or if I don't

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Speaker 1: have the emotional bandwidth to deal with their personality for

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Speaker 1: the next six months. It's really personal.

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Speaker 3: Are what are three personality traits that would keep you

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Speaker 3: from bringing someone on as a client.

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Speaker 1: Narcissism Okay, that has its own but even though you

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Speaker 1: find that.

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Speaker 2: Women have it too, because I think it's a bulge

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Speaker 2: of buzzword, Like, are you really seeing it more with

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Speaker 2: mem or is it pretty equal?

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Speaker 1: I see it more with men. Also, if like another

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Speaker 1: reason why wouldn't we wouldn't take someone on is like

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Speaker 1: they really lack the self awareness of what they can

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Speaker 1: attract or we think that they're going to be on

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Speaker 1: Let's stop there, hold on, kenvinth Samuels.

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Speaker 2: They lack the self awareness on what they can attract. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I would like to read this review I told you about,

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Speaker 2: so I really want to dig into this because this

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Speaker 2: was a review.

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Speaker 1: From from Google Reviews. Somebody reviewed my car, somebody who

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Speaker 1: did not hire me.

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Speaker 2: I mentioned this to Maria before she walked in because

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to seem like I was coming to you.

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Speaker 2: But this was a very interesting review to me by

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Speaker 2: Sierra Kahan. I was a follower of Maria the CEO,

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Speaker 2: a fan of her content until she responded to a

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Speaker 2: question from a follower and the question was why men

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Speaker 2: in general have certain traits in dating. She answered the

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Speaker 2: question simply by saying, when men are privileged. That question

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Speaker 2: had nothing to do with race. It was offensive to

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Speaker 2: me being someone who is white, and as a white partner,

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to sign up some dating advice from

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Speaker 2: Maria after seeing that post.

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Speaker 1: The first thing I actually thought about was not race.

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Speaker 1: When she said privilege in the message, I thought, oh

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Speaker 1: a guy with money. Well, the first thing I'm thinking

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Speaker 1: is as a white ass woman, the word triggers you

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Speaker 1: because of how we associate white privilege. R No, there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of I'm Greek, but I say I identify

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Speaker 1: as freaking Italian. We say are spicy, sure, but like

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Speaker 1: this is why we need like the in schools because

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Speaker 1: you know, this is exactly what that conversation is. But

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Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about what she's commenting

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Speaker 1: on the post was someone was asking me why do

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Speaker 1: so many men online say they like to they've quit

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Speaker 1: their jobs to go hiking across every national park, or

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Speaker 1: like they like to go bungee like you know, they're

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Speaker 1: doing like risky adventure as like a flex And I said,

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Speaker 1: you only see these kinds of activities from predominantly white

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Speaker 1: men because they have they don't they are trying to

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Speaker 1: use you know, they haven't. They have so much white

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Speaker 1: privilege that they have not had access to suffering, so

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Speaker 1: they want to do it's like burning man, let's go before. Yeah, now,

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Speaker 1: in terms of what you can attract.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, how does someone know that they're a six or

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Speaker 2: a seven? And how do you then cope with someone

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Speaker 2: on what they can't attract? How do you basically tell

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Speaker 2: someone you're not.

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Speaker 3: That that's what you need to lower your safe it's

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Speaker 3: not even ugly, but more just like for your powerage,

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Speaker 3: like like well before you can't I mean, but like

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Speaker 3: I think that again, the way I mentioned this white

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Speaker 3: woman leaving the comic clearly was triggered by the word privilege.

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Speaker 3: There's a lot of people triggered by the word mediocre

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Speaker 3: or average or well and so, and unfortunately there's a

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Speaker 3: false sense of inflation sometimes to the ego of who

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Speaker 3: someone is and realistically who they can get, but.

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Speaker 1: Also the realisticness of like who I have access to,

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Speaker 1: Like I have a client right now, be with a billionaire, okay,

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Speaker 1: And he'll say like, oh, I want to date the

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Speaker 1: cover model that was on Vogue this week. Okay, I'm like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: how how do I get access to that person? Like

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Speaker 1: that person as like a huh, Like I see what

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Speaker 1: you mean, Like, well, no, just access to getting like

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Speaker 1: communicating with her. Yeah, yeah, And I know it's my

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Speaker 1: job to do that, and I'll find every way to

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Speaker 1: do that, the literal job to just get who they want. No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: but it is my job just to leave no stone unturned. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but I'll ask more questions like well, what do you

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Speaker 1: like about her? Yeah, like what exactly do you It

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Speaker 1: can't just be attraction, Like there's other elements to long

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Speaker 1: term compatibility, so you know, tell me more. You just

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Speaker 1: find her attractive. You want me to discover if she's

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Speaker 1: a fit for you based on your lifestyle and your

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Speaker 1: communication and like patterns and all that stuff. So you know,

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Speaker 1: we have peakyer clients. It's okay too, And I use

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Speaker 1: I don't use that term loosely. Okay, you know it's

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Speaker 1: okay to have standards, but your standards are picky if

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Speaker 1: you don't put yourself in opportunities to find the people

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Speaker 1: that you're looking for. Explain more. Like. I will hear

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Speaker 1: from women who say, for instance, I want to meet

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Speaker 1: a Jewish man who is six feet tall and makes

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Speaker 1: this amount of money. And then it's like, okay, but

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Speaker 1: where do you live. Oh, I live in Oklahoma. Well

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Speaker 1: you're in the wrong state.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, let me ask you this. When it comes to

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Speaker 2: self awareness on which you can attract. Would you a

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Speaker 2: date a client that, let's just say, would only date

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Speaker 2: one religion or race? We all the time, so you

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Speaker 2: don't mind if someone's like, only want to lat to

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Speaker 2: you know, guy, I only want this like because we

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Speaker 2: hear sometimes that that blocks us from love or.

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Speaker 1: I will try. It's way less now. So when I

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Speaker 1: started my business sixteen years ago, people were very like

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Speaker 1: race specific and religion specific. I will tell you that

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Speaker 1: the last three years, that's not really common anymore. Really,

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Speaker 1: so I think that's why liberal people but to me,

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Speaker 1: not race.

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Speaker 3: But as a matchmaker, then you would you find it

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Speaker 3: to be possible to find a match between two people

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Speaker 3: that do have religious different religious beliefs and backgrounds.

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Speaker 1: It depends on your participation of that faith, okay, right,

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Speaker 1: So when we ask you how about faith, we actually

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Speaker 1: have two separate questions. The first question is worded what faith,

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Speaker 1: if any, were you raised in? Okay, Christian? Right? And

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Speaker 1: then the next question is how important is that to you?

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Speaker 1: Not at all? And that is one of the options.

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Speaker 1: Another one is like it's just cultural, like they celebrate Christmas,

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Speaker 1: or it's I'm very serious, I'm serious, right. So I

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Speaker 1: having those two questions that allows us for to have

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Speaker 1: a conversation about religion. We talk about religion every single day.

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Speaker 1: We meet about forty people a week talking about religion,

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Speaker 1: because that is you know, I'm not just setting you

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Speaker 1: up on dates. I'm trying to set you up with

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Speaker 1: potentially the first future parent of your kid. And people

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Speaker 1: will break up over religious future with that child, like

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Speaker 1: how they plan to raise it. So I will ask, like,

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Speaker 1: I want to give you an example really quick. I

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Speaker 1: had a client who he was Muslim, and he said

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Speaker 1: he was open at dating women that were not Muslim,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, Okay, that's cool. Yep, plenty of women

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Speaker 1: want to day Muslim men. That's great, tell me why

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Speaker 1: you broke up. Well, let me tell you about tell

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Speaker 1: me why you broke up with your last girlfriend. And

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Speaker 1: she's like, well she was Mormon, and I'm like okay,

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Speaker 1: and she goes and she didn't want to convert. Oh well,

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Speaker 1: now so you can be no, no, no, So I said,

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Speaker 1: if you're going to hire me, you're only meeting Muslim women.

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Speaker 1: I'm not in the business of trying to get people

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Speaker 1: to convert religion.

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Speaker 2: Now here's where I've got a question. Every week we

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Speaker 2: do a reactionary on decisions Decisions. Without playing this video,

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Speaker 2: we can briefly chat a little bit about two celebrities,

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Speaker 2: Alexis Sky and Britney Renner, who changed We are guessing

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Speaker 2: Britney Renner changed her religion for a man, whereas Alexis

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Speaker 2: Guy mentioned that she did. Now, as far as changing religion,

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Speaker 2: a lot of people say you shouldn't change yourself for somebody. However,

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Speaker 2: if you just asked Mandy how important is it to you,

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Speaker 2: and she said not at all. If you found a

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Speaker 2: match for Mandy knowing that she doesn't really care, but someone.

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Speaker 1: Else, really, she's not a match for him. She's not

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Speaker 1: a match for him.

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Speaker 2: Even if this person would be willing to convert, do

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Speaker 2: you think that it would be okay if someone's open

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Speaker 2: to whatever. Do you not want to find people that

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Speaker 2: are doing that? We're just seeing it very often. My

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Speaker 2: mom also converted to be with my father to Mary.

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Speaker 1: That's great. So that's old in times, right, Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: a lot of people convert. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I have a friend recently converted to being a Muslim

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Speaker 3: because she was dating a guy who was Muslim and

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Speaker 3: they ended up having a child together.

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Speaker 1: The longer together.

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Speaker 3: But I've literally been in witness of my friends who

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Speaker 3: have converted, And to me, if religion is not something

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Speaker 3: seeped into your family, your current lifestyle, I think converting

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Speaker 3: becomes fairly simple in terms of religion being a way

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Speaker 3: of life.

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Speaker 1: Maybe now I.

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Speaker 3: Have to add different practices into my life, but when

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Speaker 3: you're not as spiritually grounded into whatever your religion was,

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Speaker 3: I find it to be very simple. And mostly because

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Speaker 3: of historical ways women to convert for a man, that's

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Speaker 3: that's common, not only throughout history, but especially if a

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Speaker 3: woman is not so rooted in her own religious beliefs,

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Speaker 3: converting actually doesn't seem to be very difficult.

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Speaker 2: It finally has an example of a man converting. Actually

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Speaker 2: it's the only one. As someone who's Greek Orthodox, I've

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Speaker 2: mostly seen only men convert. Really, Yeah, that's really popular.

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Speaker 2: They want the Greek anyway.

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Speaker 1: So no, it's a whole thing. But I just want

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Speaker 1: to kind of finish the point that you were just making, Mandy,

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Speaker 1: which is that I do ask everyone who signs up

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Speaker 1: what religions are you open to dating? So that gentleman

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Speaker 1: that I just talked about, you know, I did set

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Speaker 1: him up with a lot of women that were not Muslim,

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Speaker 1: but every single woman that I set him up with,

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Speaker 1: she was open at dating a Muslim man. And then

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Speaker 1: when I asked her, would you open up that's in

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Speaker 1: the conversation. Would you be open a converting converting? Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: So I think he met like four women that were

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Speaker 1: not Muslim right now who were open to it. Did

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Speaker 1: you end up matching him with someone yet? Yeah? But

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Speaker 1: they broke up, so I got to back to the

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Speaker 1: drawing board with him. Interesting, how long were they dating?

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Speaker 1: I think like six months? Okay, long time.

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Speaker 2: Now let's go from a lot of sex, So I

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Speaker 2: want to know does sex come up We've been talking

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Speaker 2: about on this podcast for years. Sexual compatibility. Is that

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Speaker 2: a little too deep for a matchmaker to be discussing?

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Speaker 2: Do clients bring it.

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Speaker 1: Up with you? I've had potential clients bring up sex

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Speaker 1: like kinks.

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Speaker 3: I was going to say, do you have and do

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Speaker 3: you specify like a BDSM greater chart or things like

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Speaker 3: even going on dating apps and I was on field field.

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Speaker 3: I know for me, I would not be interested in

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Speaker 3: a dom a dom sub. All of these kind of

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Speaker 3: conversations only come up with people who are comfortable talking

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Speaker 3: about sex. So if they're hiring a matchmaker, sex could

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Speaker 3: be top on their list. It could be number five.

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Speaker 3: But there are dynamics and sex that could make people incompatible.

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Speaker 1: But like, what are them even sexual conversation? Oh? Not

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Speaker 1: on dates? Not on not Like I don't want you

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Speaker 1: talking about sex on dates at all? But do you

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Speaker 1: know I will? I always ask is there something I

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Speaker 1: have not asked you that you think I should know? What?

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Speaker 1: Do you care when you do that? You well, they're

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Speaker 1: in trauma. But there I don't hear that much because

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, I'm just trying to

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Speaker 1: facilitate a first and second date with matches because we

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Speaker 1: coordinate your first and second date with a person, right,

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Speaker 1: because I know only do I want you to go

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Speaker 1: on a date. I want to cultivate that and get

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Speaker 1: you on a second date. I don't want you waiting

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Speaker 1: two weeks and we losing that momentum. When do you

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Speaker 1: leave them to after the second date?

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Speaker 3: After the so you you match them, they go to

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Speaker 3: the first date, they're like, I'm interested. You set up

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Speaker 3: the second date, and then you let them go until

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Speaker 3: they come back and say it didn't work.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, how much do you say? Sometimes I don't. They

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Speaker 1: never come back, And then I'll read the New York

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Speaker 1: Times spouse sections and it's like they met through a

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Speaker 1: friend and I'm like, say my name, wait, it happened

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Speaker 1: nine times. Now shut up.

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Speaker 2: You feel like people do that because they're slightly ashamed

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Speaker 2: of coming to you.

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Speaker 1: They used to be not anymore now it's everything has

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Speaker 1: shifted the last two years. So now people are like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm using matchmaker Maria, and I'm like, oh, like it's

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Speaker 1: so different, Like I think people have now suffered enough

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Speaker 1: dating fatigue online where it's like a flex to hire

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Speaker 1: a matchmaker. Yo, Can I ask you?

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Speaker 3: Can I ask you about like you said, in the

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Speaker 3: last two year, there's been a different response to matchmaking. However,

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Speaker 3: there was like a viral TikTok recently where a woman

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Speaker 3: seemed really shamed in the comments for spending ten thousand

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Speaker 3: dollars on a matchmaker.

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Speaker 1: I saw that for your guy, the guy that can

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Speaker 1: he's not ours.

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Speaker 3: I'm kidding what I mean, like and used her. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: she used him.

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Speaker 1: She didn't use a matchmaker. She's a date dating dating coach.

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Speaker 3: But even though I know friends and a lot of

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Speaker 3: our listeners if they're own dating apps, the dating apps

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Speaker 3: now have found ways to monetize, like you can't see

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Speaker 3: certain likes or send messages without upping the tier. No

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Speaker 3: one judges someone paying twenty dollars a month for a

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Speaker 3: dating app.

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Speaker 1: But this girl seemed to be really You understand the

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Speaker 1: judgment because I don't. When I was reading it, I

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Speaker 1: was following it with my sister, who happens to also

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Speaker 1: be one of my matchmakers on my team, so she's

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Speaker 1: also a fourth generation. Were very different, though, but she

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Speaker 1: and I were. We went through all those comments because

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Speaker 1: we're trying to understand, like, where is this outreaching, where

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Speaker 1: it's coming from? This I'm not aware. It's coming from

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Speaker 1: the fact that ten thousand dollars is a lot to some,

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Speaker 1: okay and not to her. We are not having any

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Speaker 1: discussion about the twenty dollars two hundred and forty a year.

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Speaker 1: But did you want to dating? It was all coming

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Speaker 1: from a certain group of people.

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Speaker 2: No, I one percent think this is the value that

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Speaker 2: people placed on it, two hundred and forty dollars a year.

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Speaker 2: I was one hundred percent percent spending twenty bucks on

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Speaker 2: Hinge not even knowing it. So that's two forty a year.

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Speaker 2: Maybe I spent ten bucks on Riya. I may have

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Speaker 2: been spending somewhere upwards of five hundred dolls a year

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Speaker 2: in subscriptions for dating, not because I'm desperate, just because I'm.

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Speaker 1: Like, I want to see tall, I want to see black.

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Speaker 1: That was my thing.

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Speaker 2: I will so if we don't have ten thousand dollars

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Speaker 2: to spend. It's much like when someone tells you they

431
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,359
Speaker 2: bought an expensive fair shoes, Well, are they rich or

432
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:46,399
Speaker 2: do they not have so?

433
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,439
Speaker 1: To your ability partner, to your point, though there is

434
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 1: a socioeconomic I think yes, relation to it.

435
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,360
Speaker 3: That did seem to be where we saw the outrage

436
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,919
Speaker 3: from yes, was because it went viral even on on

437
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:02,200
Speaker 3: black Twitter, on spear on all of the things. So yes,

438
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,199
Speaker 3: probably a socioeconomic sense to what we they's point is

439
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,679
Speaker 3: in your point is in terms of the people that

440
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 3: seemed outrage. But also I would say within our culture,

441
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:18,919
Speaker 3: within our history, if we go back even to and

442
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 3: I don't want to take it all the way back

443
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 3: to slavery, or even when we think of like where

444
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:26,480
Speaker 3: our ancestors come from, there's not any history of people

445
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:32,440
Speaker 3: paying for for matchmaking or relationships or things like that.

446
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 3: It's just not we either meet someone within like the

447
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,359
Speaker 3: reach of our of our family or that's it.

448
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 1: I would say.

449
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 3: More so, white people are wealthy people within their history,

450
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,680
Speaker 3: they went and bought who they wanted to marry into

451
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,879
Speaker 3: the family. We don't have that within our culture.

452
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 1: We don't let me let me. I want to. I

453
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:52,680
Speaker 1: want to talk about what you're saying, cause I think's

454
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:57,879
Speaker 1: actually really important. Okay, the Black community, and that's a

455
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:03,399
Speaker 1: subculture in itself, right, Yes, the Indian American community, the

456
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 1: Greek American community, in American community, Taiwanese American community, Like

457
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 1: look at these subcultures, what these subcultures have in common

458
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 1: is that they have their own little chamber of commerce events,

459
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,199
Speaker 1: they have their own parties. They have like, you know,

460
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,879
Speaker 1: one group as a Kinsinara, the other one has Paska.

461
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,919
Speaker 1: These are all really social events where you might not

462
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 1: need to hire a matchmaker or a dating coach. You

463
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,679
Speaker 1: already are meeting a lot of people. It's funny what

464
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 1: you're talking about. I've experienced from the Greek side. So

465
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,160
Speaker 1: when people look at me, they're like, oh, you must

466
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 1: have basically Greek clients. I only get like two or

467
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 1: three Greek clients a year. Greek people are hypersocial, and

468
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:45,120
Speaker 1: they go, why would I ever hire a matchmaker? Why

469
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 1: would I ever hire a dating coach? And that's a

470
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 1: fair assessment when you come from a social subculture. Our

471
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 1: culture is social, right.

472
00:23:54,800 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 2: Honestly, I actually think the reason that Animar is important

473
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 2: for the girls that go out all the time. All

474
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:04,760
Speaker 2: of the advice he was giving seemed like people that

475
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,719
Speaker 2: were unsuccessful and unsuccessful with dating. They were going on

476
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,399
Speaker 2: dates and not getting to the finish line or getting

477
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,159
Speaker 2: stuck in the situationships That felt like what his and

478
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 2: feels like what his content is tailored to in my opinion,

479
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,639
Speaker 2: and I think hiring a coach to get the best

480
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 2: out of dates is good to.

481
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 1: People hire our company as a coach. But the dating, yeah,

482
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 1: it was everything right, we have the agapi intensive.

483
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 2: Before we get to your tears really quick, you mentioned

484
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 2: your sister. Yeah, matchmakers, what's the criteria and do they

485
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,160
Speaker 2: need to be married before we get there?

486
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 1: The wait wait, okay, good question. I know before we

487
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 1: get there.

488
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 3: Only because I really liked where we were going with

489
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,680
Speaker 3: the what we didn't speak solely to Then you brought

490
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 3: up Greek and then so why do you think then

491
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 3: when you saw the comment you saw us in the comments?

492
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 3: I do want to put a boat tie on maybe

493
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 3: why we because this is our audience.

494
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,400
Speaker 1: Because it's all why our audiences Like that's I saw

495
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 1: myself in the outrage in the sense that like I

496
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,439
Speaker 1: have gotten this outrage from the Greek community. I have

497
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 1: had people from churches call my church and be like,

498
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:16,160
Speaker 1: how dare she charge something that she should be giving

499
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 1: away for free? And I think what the conversation needs

500
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 1: to shift on is and when people hire me as

501
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,800
Speaker 1: a coach is always what all I can do is

502
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: hold your feet to the fire. What Annwar did and

503
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 1: what I do is we make you accountable to the decision.

504
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 1: I just had a woman tell me that, you know,

505
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 1: she's about to get engaged and the guy that she met,

506
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,920
Speaker 1: she met him a week after a situationship had ended,

507
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 1: and she said, if I had not hired you and

508
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 1: you didn't teach me you know why it didn't work

509
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,919
Speaker 1: with the last guy, I would have mourned that relationship

510
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 1: for three to six months, like I did every other

511
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 1: situationship in my life. And frankly, I'm thirty five. I

512
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 1: don't have time to be mourning that long. But because

513
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 1: you gave me these tools in this vocabulary and how

514
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 1: to work through why it didn't work, I was able

515
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: to mourn it in a week and then put myself

516
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 1: out there and then find my fiance. And I think

517
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,359
Speaker 1: that's what an war is doing. And I think it

518
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,719
Speaker 1: like it's okay that some people are outrage because you know,

519
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 1: people get outraged over everything. Right. I could put down

520
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 1: that I like pancakes on threads, and then someone's like

521
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 1: you don't like waffles. Ye're like okay all the time, right,

522
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 1: And I've gotten that outrage that that woman has gotten

523
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 1: from the person that's providing the service. I didn't force

524
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 1: anyone to sign me a check right people's and that's okay.

525
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 1: Like I can only work with the people that pay

526
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 1: me period, and that's that's okay. You know everything else

527
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: the opinions don't matter. Now should I answer her question? H okay?

528
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: So now how to become a matchmaker? There is an

529
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 1: extremely low barrier to entry in my industry and what

530
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:47,359
Speaker 1: that does and what I'm constantly telling because I mentor

531
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: a lot of I was really loud. I mentor a

532
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 1: lot of matchmakers and for the last sixteen years is

533
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 1: I have learned that ninety nine percent of matchmakers that

534
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,919
Speaker 1: launch will usually shut down within eighteen months. And that

535
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 1: is because it is very hard to service someone. It's

536
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 1: very easy to take someone's money, it's very hard to

537
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:10,119
Speaker 1: service You're dealing with someone's most vulnerable state. You're dealing

538
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:12,120
Speaker 1: with their personal life and how they show up on dates,

539
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 1: and if you don't have the methodology to recruit the

540
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 1: right matches for that person, it's going to be very

541
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 1: hard to service them and complete that contract. You get

542
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 1: burnt out, the emotional bandwidth might not be there, so.

543
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 2: The people have to have like semi of a rolodex.

544
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 2: Then to work with you, Like, hey, I'm a matchmaker

545
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 2: as well, Maria, I have this log of guys.

546
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,120
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, if you have, if you have

547
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 1: a methodology of like trying to recruit certain people into

548
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 1: your database, like we have an extensive database of like

549
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 1: thirty thousand people that are inbounds, that's another thing. So

550
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,719
Speaker 1: what's that mean? So there's in business, there's inbound marketing

551
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,440
Speaker 1: and outbound marketing. So outbound marketing as a matchmaker would

552
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 1: be for me if I were on the subway, I

553
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,719
Speaker 1: see someone cute and I'm like, here's my card. You know,

554
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 1: I have a match for you. Wait, by the way,

555
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 1: I've never fucking done that.

556
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 3: Okay, if you look at for good look at people,

557
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 3: I ain't gonna hold you.

558
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: Uh, shut up.

559
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 3: To the sex club owners and things that I know,

560
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 3: like the people that.

561
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 1: I know shout out to Dakota Johnson who did it

562
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 1: in the trailer for the material.

563
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:15,120
Speaker 3: They will literally see good looking people and be like, hey,

564
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 3: we have a party that we throw would love for

565
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:17,360
Speaker 3: you to come.

566
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,919
Speaker 1: And just because they want to curate the room. I know,

567
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 1: like even when we had street promoters, that was the

568
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,399
Speaker 1: way in which they got the pretty girls into the clubs.

569
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 3: On South Beach or any city through throughout America. That

570
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 3: is the way they got im.

571
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,679
Speaker 1: I mean, I've seen you because looking pay and so

572
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: that was but you don't do that. But no, we

573
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 1: do not do that. That's actually the principle of my

574
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: own company. Not or no, no outbound marketing, because that's listen,

575
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 1: what happens is when that person comes in from outbound

576
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 1: I had, they don't know who I am. They don't

577
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 1: believe in the magic of mashpeaking. They think they're just

578
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: scratching my back. And I'm like, I don't need you

579
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: to just scratch my back. I've got plenty of matches, right.

580
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 1: I might meet someone at an event. I was an

581
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 1: event last night. I met a woman and she's like,

582
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 1: I want to join your dad base And I'm like, good,

583
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 1: because I think I might have a match for you.

584
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 1: Like I let it be their idea. So what the

585
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 1: inbound is is I try to create content. I have

586
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 1: a podcast, I have a book coming out. I want

587
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: people to believe in me and my team, and then

588
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 1: on their own go to the website a gopymatch dot com.

589
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 1: You join the database. It's free for women to join

590
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:19,960
Speaker 1: the database men because I only take male clients. I

591
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 1: have a partner or an affiliate partner who only takes

592
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 1: female clients. Okay, So if a woman joins our database

593
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 1: and says, okay, Marie, I want to hire a matchmaker,

594
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 1: will be like, let's have a conversation so I can

595
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 1: steer you to the right matchmaker because I need to

596
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 1: match you with the matchmaker. But we only take men,

597
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 1: So for me, I don't wait wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

598
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 1: It's fine. You only take men. What does that mean?

599
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 1: Because I'm thinking you service men and women. Know I

600
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,560
Speaker 1: a service woman, only mainly for coaching because that has

601
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 1: a higher success rate. For me, you only match men,

602
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 1: so let me tell you. But it's cross matching. So

603
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 1: I will never set up a woman with a man

604
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 1: that she's not enthusiastic to me. Okay, don't. I don't

605
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 1: believe in throwing spaghetti on the wall to see if

606
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,200
Speaker 1: it sticks. I want, first of all, I need a

607
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 1: woman to have a great dating experience through us, because

608
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 1: on the weekends, all women come together and they talk

609
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 1: about the two d's they do dating and dieting and

610
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 1: shuts up. Don't be in there. I do it I'm

611
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 1: in the girl wouldn't be talking about died because oz epic. Now, okay,

612
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 1: talk about the other two days. So two d talking

613
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: about dating and deck. Okay. So when they talk about dating,

614
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: if they had a good date, they're going to tell

615
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 1: their friends, and those friends join a database if they

616
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 1: don't have a good date. Let me tell you. There

617
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 1: have been times where my clients are on I'm like,

618
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 1: why did you say that on the date? How did

619
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 1: you do that? I'm sending like her the woman or

620
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 1: mes scarf like please be I'm like, I just want

621
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 1: to make sure she's like. I want to make sure

622
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 1: women feel safe. I want to tell you the why

623
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 1: I typically only take mail men for matchmaking. I love

624
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 1: spending my whole day talking to women, Okay. I'm a

625
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 1: girls girl to my core. Okay, And as a result,

626
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 1: if I have male clients, you know, then I get

627
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 1: to spend my whole week and the rest of my

628
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 1: team gets to spend their whole week talking to women

629
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 1: all day. Is exactly if I had female clients, you

630
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 1: would have to talk to men. I don't like most men.

631
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: I get it. It must be easier to match men

632
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 1: if you don't like most men. Why you don't do

633
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 1: lesbians We used to do. We used to have the

634
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 1: biggest LGBTQ match meeking service, the Coffee Match used to

635
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 1: own Mixology. We sold it to we have We are

636
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 1: now partners with the biggest gay match meeking service and

637
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,959
Speaker 1: the biggest lesbian match meeking service. So we send them

638
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 1: the leads because I think you know.

639
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 2: So when somebody comes to you and you're like, I

640
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 2: don't know if you like fuzzy, what.

641
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 1: Do you do with the bisexuals? We asked them, you

642
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 1: have to for match making. You kind of have to

643
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: pick a lane. You could do both, you could do both,

644
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 1: but I have to take you to the right matchmaker.

645
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 1: Because I've taken by clients, I've taken gay clients. What's

646
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 1: interesting is to go back. I want to circle back

647
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 1: now to that social club right when we had gay

648
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:57,720
Speaker 1: men clients that is a really social subgroup. They okay,

649
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 1: So the only gay clients that we would track were

650
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 1: people who worked usually in energy or they couldn't you know,

651
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 1: they traveled to countries where they could get killed. They

652
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 1: under the cover, under the phone. Oh no, So like

653
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: they would hire us because they want a date, but

654
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 1: they can't be out, they can't go out right.

655
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a lot funny to talk about, like things

656
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 2: with people that are working with wealthy clients.

657
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 1: My life being climents with the bus dude within a month.

658
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever had a success rate that high.

659
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 1: It was great, But then the thing is like I

660
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 1: don't have enough I have. You know, a lot of

661
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 1: match speakers in the last eight years have started to

662
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 1: pick a lane because of emotional bandwidth. So what happened

663
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 1: was when we decided in twenty seventeen, okay, let's just

664
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 1: take straight men as clients. Then we were able to

665
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 1: just look for straight women before we had at that

666
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 1: time LGBTQ straight men straight women, and it was like

667
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 1: too many plates spinning and you're you have to change,

668
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 1: you have to code switch. Yeah, you know, like when

669
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 1: you're talking, for instance, to a gay man and he's

670
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 1: over fifty, you might have to talk about the trauma

671
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 1: of losing their friends during the AIDS epidemic, right, and

672
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 1: you know, like or like are you on? Prep are

673
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 1: you a top? Are you you have? All these other words?

674
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 1: And then in the closet for so long, right, the

675
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 1: thing is coming up, and then like a minute later,

676
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 1: you have another meeting with a straight woman who's thirty eight,

677
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 1: desperate to have kids and wants to only date in

678
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 1: her religion, and he has to be a he's not

679
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 1: really ready to be a father. Yeah, And it's like

680
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, and at some point, because I've

681
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 1: been in business since like two thousand and eight, two

682
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 1: thousand and nine, at some point, like I had just

683
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,479
Speaker 1: had a kid in twenty seventeen, and I was like,

684
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 1: something has to give. I can't. I can't take this

685
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,280
Speaker 1: home with me. I get that. So you were in

686
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 1: business before you're married. Yeah.

687
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 2: I want to talk about this because it's very interesting

688
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 2: to me that dating coaches are trusted when married. And

689
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 2: this is why I was bringing it up because I

690
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 2: kind of agree even if marriage wasn't the goal, because

691
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, you made it through this thing. It's

692
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 2: almost like I never completed college. Okay for me at

693
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 2: this point, I don't need a college degree for the

694
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:00,240
Speaker 2: things I would like to do. However, it's a great

695
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 2: seal and stamp of approval for someone that wanted to

696
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 2: hire me because they're like, oh, wow, you did this thing,

697
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 2: you made this huge accomplishment. It is a very big

698
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 2: accomplishment to complete college. I feel the same way about

699
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 2: marriage and dating and met a lot of matchmakers and

700
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 2: poor marriages though, And I really am curious, what is

701
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 2: it about when you started that people trusted.

702
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 1: Did anyone never say, well, you're not? It's funny? Where

703
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 1: the fuck is your match? So that's actually not the

704
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 1: question I had. I started my business when I was

705
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:33,840
Speaker 1: twenty three. I was a baby. I'm very tall, so

706
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 1: I've got tall girl privilege. So people always thought I

707
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 1: was older because I wouldn't take no dat in advice

708
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: from a twenty three year old? No are you kidding?

709
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 1: Did you have twenty three year old? So what I

710
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 1: would tell people is I was thirty, so I was

711
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 1: already lying about my Age' funny because when I turned thirty,

712
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 1: I was just like, who cares, I've been thirty for

713
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: seven years And if anyone ever asked, I met my

714
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 1: husband at twenty, like we started dating when I was

715
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 1: twenty eight. But for five years I was a single matchmaker.

716
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 1: But I was always There was never a period where

717
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 1: I was like single for a really long time. I've

718
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: always been like monogamous relationships or like there were two

719
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:10,360
Speaker 1: instances of six month situationships with two men, which but

720
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 1: what was interesting was I would tell people when they

721
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 1: would ask, which was rare. I would say, I'm dating,

722
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,359
Speaker 1: like I am thirty years old and I'm dating, and

723
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 1: that was enough. People weren't asking for more. What they

724
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 1: cared more about. When you're about to spend that money,

725
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 1: you don't really care about your matchmaker's relationship status. You

726
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,919
Speaker 1: care more about their recruitment methodology, like how are you

727
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 1: this personality going to attract the woman that I'm looking for? So, like,

728
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 1: for instance, before I said, you know, your first match

729
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 1: has to be with the matchmaker. So there will be

730
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 1: men who might come to me or even women who

731
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,399
Speaker 1: might come to me and say I want to hire you,

732
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 1: and they might do Burning Man. Right, I'm not their matchmaker.

733
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 1: There is a match maker, but wow does that niche?

734
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 1: I do not attract a lot of women into my

735
00:35:56,040 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 1: database that are would be into that sort of lifestyle.

736
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:06,680
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not talking about the hardcore, not the

737
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 1: one time, not the guy that took the helicopter. No, no, no,

738
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:12,239
Speaker 1: I'm talking about I've had a lot most of my

739
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,279
Speaker 1: clients I've done Burning Man. So don't don't misunderstand what

740
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 1: I'm saying here, like the burners, like a little bit

741
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 1: more on the hippie side, super creatives like, I'm not

742
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,719
Speaker 1: their matchmaker. My clients tend to be working in risk

743
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 1: management black Rock Goldman, like I am dealing with What

744
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 1: about creating years, there's another I think there's other matchmakers

745
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:32,320
Speaker 1: that work better with creators. Same same with non monogamy,

746
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 1: there's another matchmaker for that.

747
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 2: So with professionals, that's interesting, Like creatives and professionals.

748
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 1: I want to know what you think. I attracted a

749
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:41,240
Speaker 1: lot of creatives in my database.

750
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:45,720
Speaker 2: Do you not think because I really like that combo.

751
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 2: I used to date a man that worked for JP,

752
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:50,359
Speaker 2: very high up.

753
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 1: That would have been a good match with you too.

754
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 1: That would have been a great match between you two.

755
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 1: Well we dated three years to read the book. You're

756
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 1: the line piece of shit, but we match right like

757
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:02,799
Speaker 1: we were attracted to each other.

758
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 2: And I wonder date the creative, But then why are

759
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 2: creatives getting a different.

760
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 1: So I just want to say that it's not that

761
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:14,840
Speaker 1: you're creative, it's that you're entrepreneurial. And I think that

762
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:19,000
Speaker 1: entrepreneurs to make really poor matches with other entrepreneurs because

763
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 1: you have a baby. This is your baby, Your podcast

764
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:25,720
Speaker 1: is your baby, your studio is a baby. That's your baby.

765
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:29,480
Speaker 1: And if you're an entrepreneur, your baby takes precedence over

766
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 1: this baby. So if you're and I'm I'm so sorry.

767
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:34,399
Speaker 1: I don't know who what your partners do. So I'm

768
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 1: not trying to offend you or give you a midlife crisis.

769
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 1: I'm not the same investors.

770
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:42,279
Speaker 2: I'm not with entrepreneurship real estate investment in a way.

771
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 2: But I was wondering recently, is my relationship working so

772
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,400
Speaker 2: well because of the flexibility with time and the schedules

773
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,399
Speaker 2: this man I dated someone with a nine to five

774
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 2: even though great money. Now I have health insurance jump

775
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 2: all over the world with me because his money's made

776
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 2: on his phone, through his tenants whatever. Like, maybe this

777
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 2: is really a better fit, and maybe I should have

778
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 2: been looking for people that didn't have such a demanding schedule,

779
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 2: because I do.

780
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 1: I can't answer that question because I haven't temperamentally typed

781
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:17,400
Speaker 1: you yet. I don't. I would have to like be

782
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 1: in the mode to like personality type you. I have

783
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 1: a feeling you're an explorer, though just based on the

784
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:24,279
Speaker 1: little that I know you. The fact that you just

785
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 1: told me you didn't finish college. And I write about

786
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 1: this in my book, it's in chapter two. But you

787
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 1: seem to me like an explorer, and that means that

788
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,800
Speaker 1: your match is also someone who's an explorer who jumps

789
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 1: with you. You seem like a builder, which is fun.

790
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 1: If you are, that's a person who believes in like

791
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 1: you can still be someone who likes to have fun.

792
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 1: My sister's a builder. But like you like a certain

793
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,719
Speaker 1: order of things, you like a certain process of things. Yeah,

794
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 1: you like it when there's like a hierarchy or some

795
00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 1: sort of precedent and tradition to go on. I have

796
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 1: a feeling, and I only just met you today, but

797
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 1: I have a feeling that I bet you to fight

798
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:12,439
Speaker 1: and knock heads on on let me no, no, no,

799
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 1: I'll tell you on what. Welcome to the party. Hold on, no, no, no,

800
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 1: hold on. You can still be friends building confriends of explorers.

801
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong. I can tell you what you

802
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,239
Speaker 1: fight on because if I am correct, if you are

803
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 1: an explorer and you're telling about who you're dating, that

804
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 1: totally makes sense that you would both be like this.

805
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 1: I have only spoken to Mandy for literally thirty seconds

806
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,320
Speaker 1: before we started recording, and I was like, okay, literally

807
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 1: seems like a builder, So like, watch your words, talk

808
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,839
Speaker 1: in precedence, don't don't surprise her, Like this is what

809
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:43,920
Speaker 1: I do, right, I have to read personalities for a living.

810
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:46,480
Speaker 1: So the kind of fights that a builder explore friendship

811
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 1: or relationship would have is you have a certain order

812
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 1: of how you like to do things, and she's constantly

813
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 1: wiping the lines away of that. Let's be free. You

814
00:39:56,520 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 1: are cotantly thinking from your gut, whereas you exactly you

815
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:04,359
Speaker 1: excel in freedom. You have a lot more vitality. You

816
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 1: were always going to seem younger than Mandy because of

817
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:11,799
Speaker 1: that vitality. You are more traditional and I'm not saying sexually,

818
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 1: you're attesting freedom to care for each child like she

819
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 1: is Queen Elizabeth Ion and you are Princess Diana. Okay, Like,

820
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 1: do you understand what the difference is here? No? No, no,

821
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 1: I definitely appreciate what you're saying because I had no

822
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,879
Speaker 1: And this is not a bad even my sis. There's

823
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:31,280
Speaker 1: a builder.

824
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 3: So I even hearing what is making sense for her

825
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:36,479
Speaker 3: and her partner, Like.

826
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 1: That's not gonna makes sense for you to build her.

827
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 3: I just dated someone who was retired, and as soon

828
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:45,760
Speaker 3: as life picked back up for me, him doing nothing

829
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,879
Speaker 3: and being mad that I was busy was like, oh,

830
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 3: get out of.

831
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:53,280
Speaker 1: Retire but doing nothing else different than no, the freedom.

832
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:57,359
Speaker 1: I didn't need someone your match is a guy. No, no, no,

833
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 1: Well I have someone who's really busy right now.

834
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 3: He's an actor. But like, I'm so happy he's about

835
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 3: to be on set like all summer. So I'm like, oh, nigga,

836
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 3: I'm busy.

837
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:07,480
Speaker 1: You busy. This is great.

838
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 3: Like I don't like, I didn't want my partner to

839
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 3: be able to just be everywhere with me all the time,

840
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 3: because that's not what I want in partnership.

841
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 1: And I remember, it's so crazy.

842
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:23,800
Speaker 3: Because me and my ex actually got into an argument

843
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 3: because in me waiting for the world to open up.

844
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,319
Speaker 3: At the time, I was looking to invest in an

845
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:31,960
Speaker 3: eighteen wheeler truck. My best friend ended up doing it,

846
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 3: and immediately I went to telling him, great, you could

847
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 3: be the driver.

848
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 1: And I immediately went to try to hire him to

849
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 1: get him a job.

850
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 3: And when I ended up opening my studio Instaid and

851
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 3: didn't go that route, we ended up having an argument

852
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 3: because he was like, I feel like you just want

853
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 3: me to work for you or do this, and I

854
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,520
Speaker 3: was like, hey, I want you to do something. You

855
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 3: being retired wasn't fulfilling for me to be with someone

856
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 3: who could just do and be there whenever I needed.

857
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 3: And I thought I wanted that at one point, because

858
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,479
Speaker 3: I did want someone there when I said be there.

859
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 1: But then it did start to be like, I don't.

860
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,800
Speaker 2: Know if the I didn't want to Any types necessarily

861
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 2: match goals though, because I could be the photos from

862
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 2: a builder. Being rich in life to me is time

863
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 2: like this is explore speak. I want money and my

864
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:22,680
Speaker 2: mother fucking time. I hustle hard as fuck. I'm telling

865
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:23,840
Speaker 2: you I also probably.

866
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 1: Gets your second out road types too. I think you're

867
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 1: a builder director, and I think you're an exploring negotiator,

868
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,880
Speaker 1: which is like wild, because that is what is keeping

869
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 1: your This is what's keeping your friendship, is your director

870
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,640
Speaker 1: and your negotiator, or is what's keeping you guys glued together?

871
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,800
Speaker 1: And that's a good thing. And I think I think

872
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:43,919
Speaker 1: you know. Look, the point of personality typing is not like, Okay,

873
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 1: you're not a match. It's about you can If you're

874
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 1: a builder, you can date an explorer. But you have

875
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:53,359
Speaker 1: to set that expectation early on. Communicate constantly. Here is

876
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 1: what makes me feel less anxious, especially what makes me

877
00:42:56,600 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 1: feel confused? Yes, and I think I think that's it's

878
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 1: so so much of what makes a relationship a poor

879
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:07,759
Speaker 1: relationship is because we are not communicating enough what we

880
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 1: expect from other people. But also being self aware of

881
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 1: this expectation is like, also what are we may not know?

882
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:19,319
Speaker 1: So Mandy's a builder. There's four types. So this is

883
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 1: actually from a past mentor of mine, doctor Helen Fisher.

884
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:26,320
Speaker 1: Unfortunately she passed away about six months ago for reading

885
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 1: my book, damn it, but I talk about her in

886
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,280
Speaker 1: chapter two. She came up with the Helen Fisher inventory system,

887
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 1: which it resembles a lot of what my grandmother's personality

888
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,799
Speaker 1: typing system was. She used the Greek gods, right, Zeus, Artemis,

889
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:41,840
Speaker 1: Athena era and what an aphrodite And so there's four types.

890
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 1: There's a director, she's aphrodite era. You are the queen

891
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:51,240
Speaker 1: your era, you are the queen.

892
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 3: Of the guy era, death queen era.

893
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 1: Yeah. So so what that means is like there's four

894
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 1: types and there's director, negotiator, builder, and explorer. So this

895
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 1: is all from hellficial inventory negotiator, builder, explorer. So we

896
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:10,319
Speaker 1: learned explorer builder, right, and she's just a director and

897
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 1: a director someone. So only twelve percent of women are directors.

898
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: I actually am one of that percentage, which can be

899
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 1: a really hard life because you you know, directors tend

900
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 1: to be quite analytical. They tend to think very quickly,

901
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 1: but not because they're coming from their gut like explorers.

902
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:30,480
Speaker 1: It's more because they think of their brain and constant

903
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:32,400
Speaker 1: contingency plan. If this happens, then I would do this,

904
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 1: and if this happens, then I would do this. A

905
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,479
Speaker 1: lot of director women, as I'm telling you, at something,

906
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 1: a lot of women are directors, might have like a

907
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 1: to do list, like even in their shower, like a

908
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 1: waterproof to do list, or they'll be constantly like telling

909
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 1: Siri like remind me to do this, remind me of this.

910
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 1: Oh that's just hey. And then you have, of course

911
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,359
Speaker 1: the director men, the masters of their own universe. A

912
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 1: lot of them, not all of them, but a lot

913
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 1: of them can be narcissists because think about what makes

914
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 1: director woman and a man different. As director women, we

915
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:06,919
Speaker 1: were socialized as young kids, here's your baby, doll care

916
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,120
Speaker 1: for something, or here's your kitchen set take for something.

917
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 1: So then you have someone like Hillary Clinton running for

918
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 1: president and they're calling her a policy wonk, and I'm like,

919
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:16,360
Speaker 1: she's a director. Of course she's gonna have solutions. But

920
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 1: you also have Donald Trump, who's also a director. And

921
00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:21,839
Speaker 1: what does he say, I have the solution for this,

922
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 1: only I can fix this. And so these are he's.

923
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 3: Literally showing us that, oh, y'all are so scared you're

924
00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:29,720
Speaker 3: gonna lose it. I'm gonna save it for you and extend.

925
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 3: He uses the language it's being said, yep. Now negotiators.

926
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,400
Speaker 3: My husband's a negotiator and director negotiators tends to be

927
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 3: really good matches because directors think in haste. They're just

928
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:39,880
Speaker 3: trying to make everything quick and I want to execute it.

929
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 3: And negotiators, oh Jesus, they are so charismatic. They're a

930
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,319
Speaker 3: little spineless from the personal because they like to say

931
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 3: yes to everyone. But there's someone's getting the no.

932
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,280
Speaker 1: Right. I think that's me too, well. I said before,

933
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 1: you're an explorer, I could tell so what I'm saying here,

934
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:58,040
Speaker 1: I don't want to do Sometimes and you put an

935
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 1: elder sister energy in there and you're screwed. Now. What

936
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:04,840
Speaker 1: happens is with negotiators. Bill Clinton is a negotiator. What

937
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 1: happens with negotiators is that you have this sort of

938
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 1: place where they like to they love to take every variable,

939
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 1: and then as a result, they're kind of slowing down

940
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 1: the execution of things. I remember with my husband when

941
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,440
Speaker 1: I was asking him to plan a trip because I'm

942
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 1: always the planner, and I had to come to terms like, Okay,

943
00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:22,720
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be the planner because then I'll always

944
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:26,400
Speaker 1: be happy. He was taking every single variable into consideration,

945
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 1: and I'm like, can you just execute? Just book it.

946
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 1: You're like, what are you waiting ten days for? You

947
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:32,560
Speaker 1: know what hotel we're going to say at, you know

948
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:34,680
Speaker 1: what transportation we're going to take. But he's like, well, okay,

949
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:44,359
Speaker 1: but let's do this and let's do this. Stop select now.

950
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 2: In terms of all of these different types, you and

951
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:54,319
Speaker 2: the late Helen Fisher when you're pairing people before she

952
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 2: even created this, did you see yourself kind of doing

953
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 2: it based on these types? Because I feel like we

954
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:01,359
Speaker 2: hear versions of this, Oh your type A, or you're

955
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:02,920
Speaker 2: this or you're this type of person?

956
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:07,680
Speaker 1: Right, has this method helped you air people. I yes,

957
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 1: So first of all, a lot of online dating sites

958
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:14,200
Speaker 1: structures are based on this, on Helen Fisher's modeling. She's

959
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 1: a major culture anthropologist. A lot of match groups algorithm

960
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 1: depends on her findings, and it's very similar to my

961
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 1: grandmother's findings, right, Like if someone was a Poseidon that's

962
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 1: her type, or an aphrodite, which are explorer types. She's like, Okay,

963
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:34,279
Speaker 1: I gotta find Poseidon's aphrodite because they need to be

964
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 1: entrepreneurial and explore and be vitality and be creative. There

965
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:40,360
Speaker 1: like they this person, this village is not going to

966
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:44,399
Speaker 1: hold them in. So what's interesting though, is because there's

967
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:46,879
Speaker 1: also the human element, right, So it doesn't matter if

968
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 1: Helen Fisher came up with all this like really brilliant

969
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:52,920
Speaker 1: way of being able to type people into four things.

970
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 1: By the way, right because Meyers Briggs has sixteen personality types,

971
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:58,840
Speaker 1: I'm not going to remember all of them. It's too much.

972
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,280
Speaker 1: It is too much, right too. I Mean people struggle

973
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:03,839
Speaker 1: knowing all the horoscopes, so, like you know, so when

974
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 1: it's four, it makes a lot more cleaner for you

975
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:07,840
Speaker 1: to like figure out quickly how to adjust your behavior

976
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:11,200
Speaker 1: to optimize the experience. So when that came out, it

977
00:48:11,239 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 1: was very interesting for me as a matchmaker to be like,

978
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:15,880
Speaker 1: because this came out before I became a matchmaker, it

979
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:18,360
Speaker 1: was interesting for me to experience that and see it

980
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 1: in my world and understand, like who I'm dating, Yeah,

981
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 1: because I can also communicate Look with my personality type.

982
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 1: For instance, I'm a director woman. I think I can

983
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:30,000
Speaker 1: do it all. I don't need anyone. But I had

984
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 1: to teach myself that when I go on dates, I

985
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:34,799
Speaker 1: got to put the dick away because a lot of

986
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 1: director women we have a people like we come all

987
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:40,520
Speaker 1: come at all right, And I would bring a bracelet

988
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 1: with a class because I want, like, you know, the

989
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 1: thing about men is they have fragile egos and then

990
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 1: fall out that kind of the one. But like I,

991
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:52,000
Speaker 1: it would be I would tell if I liked a

992
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 1: guy on the first date. I would because I want

993
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 1: to show that I still need a man. I would say, hey,

994
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:00,359
Speaker 1: can you can you help me with this? Like I'm

995
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 1: trying to show that I can also be vulnerable. Let's

996
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 1: dig this, it's still stop.

997
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 2: We have a chapter in a book that Mandy writes

998
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 2: about why do you need me to need you.

999
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:11,200
Speaker 1: It's such a good.

1000
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 2: Chapter because it really shows how much men pull or

1001
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 2: want to be wanted from women now today's era of feminism,

1002
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:25,360
Speaker 2: I agree, sometimes I could feel like an insecurity. However,

1003
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 2: my mom's seventy four years old. Last night we go

1004
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:32,520
Speaker 2: to a friend's birthday party. She's coming down with my

1005
00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:35,040
Speaker 2: friend's mother. They're both in the seventies, cute little old ladies.

1006
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:38,359
Speaker 2: My man's getting the car. I'm like, we'll walk with you.

1007
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:40,319
Speaker 2: He's like, I just told you, I'm bringing the car

1008
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:43,239
Speaker 2: to the front, wait with your mom. And my mom

1009
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:46,359
Speaker 2: looked at me and she was stop trying to let

1010
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:47,520
Speaker 2: him not do things for you.

1011
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 1: Why do you do this? He's your man, he wants

1012
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 1: to do this for you.

1013
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:53,720
Speaker 2: And she starts screaming at me in this lobby about

1014
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:57,360
Speaker 2: how I'm not letting him, you know, be eating.

1015
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 1: Where are we fucking up as independent? I meant today,

1016
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:02,879
Speaker 1: I don't think we're fucking up as an independent women.

1017
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:06,319
Speaker 1: You can be an independent woman, but you also have Look,

1018
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 1: I know that most women can do it all. I'm

1019
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:12,840
Speaker 1: aware of that, right, and that's okay, But also men

1020
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:17,240
Speaker 1: have this need to like just want to feel needed

1021
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:19,319
Speaker 1: and then then they will worship you. They believe that,

1022
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 1: especially the kind of guys who know they're going out

1023
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 1: with an independent woman and they're not trying to cage her.

1024
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:27,439
Speaker 1: We gotta there's there's a distinction between these two kinds

1025
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:30,479
Speaker 1: of men. But there are men who are like, that's

1026
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:32,359
Speaker 1: what they want, that's what they're attracted to. But then

1027
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 1: now they need a sign like but you still need

1028
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 1: me right, And it's small things like I used to

1029
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:40,560
Speaker 1: call it broken shower theory, so like, essentially I used

1030
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:43,319
Speaker 1: to tell women. I still tell women like, if you

1031
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 1: really like a guy and you're really independent, you want

1032
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:48,440
Speaker 1: to show him on your third or fourth date, literally

1033
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,680
Speaker 1: take down your shower thing and be like, hey, my

1034
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:53,880
Speaker 1: shower fell. It's a two person job. Can you come

1035
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:55,480
Speaker 1: up for a second so we can fix it, and

1036
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:59,200
Speaker 1: then we'll go on our date. Like, you know, break something,

1037
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 1: make them fix it. It's like these stupid things, but

1038
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 1: it actually makes a huge difference. So funny I did

1039
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:07,040
Speaker 1: that a couple of weeks ago.

1040
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:12,400
Speaker 3: My partner came to Atlanta and I have like a

1041
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:15,759
Speaker 3: lock system on my door and it was dying and

1042
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:19,120
Speaker 3: I was literally hoping it did not die before he

1043
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 3: came because as soon as he walked in, I said, babe,

1044
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 3: I talked to my landlord and the batteries need changed

1045
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:28,800
Speaker 3: on the lock, and I remember I made sure I

1046
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 3: had the little The landlord said, oh, you need a

1047
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 3: screwdriver to change the things, and I remember I was like, babe,

1048
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 3: I don't know how to do it. I said, can you,

1049
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:40,279
Speaker 3: I literally, can you please change this for me? And

1050
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:43,799
Speaker 3: I remember going upstairs and coming down and I was like,

1051
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:46,399
Speaker 3: did you change it? He's like, babe, it was so quick.

1052
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:48,000
Speaker 3: I did it already, and I was like.

1053
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:50,319
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

1054
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:52,839
Speaker 3: I said, I was waiting just for you to do

1055
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:54,719
Speaker 3: it because I was like, I didn't know what to do.

1056
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 1: It's technology. I couldn't and I had to use a screwdriver.

1057
00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 1: I hate tools. And I literally like my best friend

1058
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 1: was there and it was just like I have how

1059
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:06,879
Speaker 1: he felt like, yeah, I have lived in We bought

1060
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:08,600
Speaker 1: a house last year. We've been living in my house

1061
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:10,840
Speaker 1: for a year. In our house. Excuse me, we've been

1062
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:14,880
Speaker 1: living in our house on director my house thirteen years too. Kids,

1063
00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:17,840
Speaker 1: my fucking house. You know, I don't know how to

1064
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:20,879
Speaker 1: use the temperature control and I'm not trying to learn it,

1065
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:23,879
Speaker 1: and that's how that's a George job.

1066
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 3: However, Kyle Richards on Housewives is currently going through a

1067
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:31,439
Speaker 3: separation with Maricio. She didn't even know how to use

1068
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:33,400
Speaker 3: the remote control for the television to use.

1069
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:37,840
Speaker 2: That is so fun I saw him at some restaurant

1070
00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 2: in La Me and my mom was like, he he.

1071
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 1: Worth a hundred million dollars literally. Watching watching her go

1072
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:51,040
Speaker 1: through this separation and share with like the audience that

1073
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:53,720
Speaker 1: she doesn't know how to do the basics in the house,

1074
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 1: I thought was funny. I refuse. I've learned over the

1075
00:52:56,960 --> 00:52:59,200
Speaker 1: years that like, oh, this is a George thing. I'm

1076
00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:02,799
Speaker 1: Maria doesn't need to learn this too, and and and

1077
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:05,759
Speaker 1: it's interesting. What's funny is also is I had to

1078
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:09,840
Speaker 1: teach some of his my children's teachers. Like there's this

1079
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:13,600
Speaker 1: one teacher who would constantly email me about my kids homework,

1080
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:15,640
Speaker 1: like my kids go to Greek school, like every week.

1081
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm not my husband's secretary. Oh

1082
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:22,319
Speaker 1: you can add him to the emails too, And then

1083
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:24,160
Speaker 1: I said that to the other moms too, and then

1084
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:26,120
Speaker 1: they all demanded it as well. So now this teacher

1085
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 1: she emails both parents, I'm not my husband's secretary. If

1086
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,600
Speaker 1: the school has something to say to me, they could

1087
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:34,840
Speaker 1: say to my husband too, because he needs to be involved.

1088
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 1: I'm not going to give him the update each week.

1089
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:40,359
Speaker 1: Oh you know, today's some spirit week at school. He

1090
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 1: can figure that out when he reads his email. But

1091
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:45,160
Speaker 1: that's where it starts, like you communicating your expectations of

1092
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:47,400
Speaker 1: how someone shows up in a relationship. It's also environmental,

1093
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:50,239
Speaker 1: like you have to get your environment to also treat

1094
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:50,840
Speaker 1: you equally.

1095
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:56,239
Speaker 2: Sorry, we like lela okay before we get out, because

1096
00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 2: you gave us a history.

1097
00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:02,280
Speaker 1: I'm on your website and I don't know, it's been fun.

1098
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 2: I really like dating antidotes, I like books, I like

1099
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:11,239
Speaker 2: I like numerical things. I like watching clips. I feel

1100
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:13,279
Speaker 2: like I could be old and married and still enjoy

1101
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:17,920
Speaker 2: this because trends. So you have all of these lists

1102
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,440
Speaker 2: of the things that you offer. Matchmaking is number one.

1103
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:22,880
Speaker 2: Number two is a GOFE lead?

1104
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:26,760
Speaker 1: Is it? Do you pronounce it a GOFE? Yeah? Bespoke

1105
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:31,200
Speaker 1: matching service for clients with refined tastes? Is this just rich?

1106
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:32,279
Speaker 3: Like?

1107
00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:36,759
Speaker 1: What does this mean? When you're saying refined taste? What

1108
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:40,840
Speaker 1: are you really saying? Don't order your chicken heart. Do

1109
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:43,360
Speaker 1: you want the marketing answer as a business owner or no,

1110
00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:48,560
Speaker 1: don't order your sake well because you have been somewhere,

1111
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:51,799
Speaker 1: because there's a different route for both, right okay, So

1112
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:57,399
Speaker 1: on the look, there are some clients who they will

1113
00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:00,880
Speaker 1: seek out that sort of language in order to like,

1114
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 1: I don't think you understand what I want. So I

1115
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 1: want this language, and I actually have to emulate my

1116
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 1: competitors to be like for refined taste. But chances are

1117
00:55:10,239 --> 00:55:12,680
Speaker 1: you're probably getting the same service. I just said something

1118
00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:14,680
Speaker 1: like that on one of these podcasts.

1119
00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:17,280
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't want a man who's sushi

1120
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 3: level palette is in Tempura or CALIFORNI year roll. I

1121
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 3: don't want them to order their sake a certain way.

1122
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 3: I want them to be excited about certain cultural things

1123
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:29,040
Speaker 3: and to go out like the way that we get.

1124
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:32,160
Speaker 1: There are some clients that need a lot of extra

1125
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 1: handholding because they want the extra handholding, right Okay. They

1126
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 1: are the kind of clients who they have a private

1127
00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 1: chef at home, they have a manager in their house.

1128
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:41,719
Speaker 1: And there are the kind of clients who are going

1129
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 1: to be a gopy eleak because they're going to take

1130
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:47,759
Speaker 1: up more of our time riches what they got. But

1131
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:50,640
Speaker 1: just like billionaire No, I mean, are they just got

1132
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 1: homes everywhere? Like tales about yachts that they don't know

1133
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 1: where they are? Jesus, what now when the clients? So

1134
00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 1: that client would be a gopy eleak because a kind

1135
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:03,960
Speaker 1: of woman that that person can go out with, she

1136
00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:07,080
Speaker 1: has to be flexible with his schedule. Yep. Like you know,

1137
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:12,399
Speaker 1: think about Lauren Sanchez, Jeff Bezos's fiance. Like I've had

1138
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:16,960
Speaker 1: a few of Jeff Bezos's friends as clients, and you know,

1139
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:19,279
Speaker 1: I'll give credit where it's due. Jeff Bezos is dating

1140
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:20,240
Speaker 1: someone who's age appropriate.

1141
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:22,959
Speaker 2: Oh I say this all the time. I love seeing

1142
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 2: an older woman next time. I don't even know what

1143
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:27,360
Speaker 2: feelers she put in. It is nice to see she

1144
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:31,239
Speaker 2: bless blessed that That to me is a great example

1145
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 2: of like, all right, you divorced your wife, this whole

1146
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:35,200
Speaker 2: thing happened.

1147
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,040
Speaker 1: We didn't get to see you run around with some kid.

1148
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:39,680
Speaker 1: Not that he's not a piece of shit, but that's

1149
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:43,040
Speaker 1: while we're not talking about him. We're talking about But.

1150
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,760
Speaker 3: What you said as well is where in the beginning

1151
00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:50,840
Speaker 3: of this podcast, I I talked about dealing with athletes

1152
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:54,359
Speaker 3: and thought that that would be literally what I ended

1153
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:57,759
Speaker 3: up dating as soon as my focus became on my

1154
00:56:57,920 --> 00:57:01,240
Speaker 3: career and making money and excel in my own life.

1155
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:04,600
Speaker 3: That is the last type of man that I could

1156
00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:06,719
Speaker 3: date because they expect you, when they want to see you,

1157
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 3: for you to drop everything and go.

1158
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 1: And that's why my billionaire clients are like, and I'm

1159
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:11,439
Speaker 1: not and I want to do you no longer.

1160
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:13,520
Speaker 2: And they can do that for the elite, like do

1161
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:16,080
Speaker 2: they have to be of a certain status like I

1162
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 2: mean status.

1163
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:21,120
Speaker 1: Or we would regardless no matter which page they use

1164
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 1: to sign up, we still have to have a conversation

1165
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:25,680
Speaker 1: with them, and then we will price it accordingly. So

1166
00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 1: most of our services start at thirty thousand, and so

1167
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:31,960
Speaker 1: I'll go up, you got a book for the year

1168
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 1: just to get you to two dates? Okay for six

1169
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 1: months and usually it's a minimum of six introductions in

1170
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 1: six months. Most of our clients will get in between

1171
00:57:39,480 --> 00:57:42,240
Speaker 1: ten and fifteen matches. But a lot of our clients,

1172
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 1: especially the regular clients, which I know you might be

1173
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:46,440
Speaker 1: thinking thirty thousand is not regular, but you'd be surprised

1174
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 1: how people are willing to save.

1175
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:49,880
Speaker 2: Do they also cover the fees of Like, let's just

1176
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:51,280
Speaker 2: say you have a great match in New York, you've

1177
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:52,360
Speaker 2: got a rich kind in Dubai.

1178
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:55,200
Speaker 1: I can't set up people in Dubai against the law.

1179
00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:57,840
Speaker 1: Ye yeah, well but but you know, but I know

1180
00:57:57,880 --> 00:58:00,520
Speaker 1: you're in London. They will fly out or they'll fly

1181
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:02,720
Speaker 1: the woman they have to stay at a different hotel.

1182
00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 1: But we are coordinating it. So we're just sending the invoice.

1183
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:08,480
Speaker 1: Oh wow, right, and you can't have sex, like we

1184
00:58:08,560 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 1: have very clear. Well, they're a different I'm not a man.

1185
00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:20,080
Speaker 1: If they're going to watch this and be like yeah.

1186
00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 2: Seriously, like if they do have sex, I'm sure this

1187
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:24,040
Speaker 2: mistake has happened.

1188
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:26,360
Speaker 1: I don't want to know. Yeah, you don't want to

1189
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:29,760
Speaker 1: be involved. I don't think it's ever happened in sixteen years.

1190
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:33,640
Speaker 1: I don't think somebody's maybe, but I don't let me

1191
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:37,480
Speaker 1: let me believe. For legal reasons, it's never happened. That

1192
00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 1: they are just waiting. But serious question though, being that

1193
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:44,280
Speaker 1: this is all free for all women are free by

1194
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 1: the way, that's legal reasons.

1195
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 2: We know you're not hiring processes. No, I'm talking about

1196
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:51,280
Speaker 2: my job would be much so much easier.

1197
00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:56,880
Speaker 1: What if it's just they vibe that hard. I think

1198
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:59,120
Speaker 1: when they know that after this date there's a feedback

1199
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 1: form or a text our phone call from me, Like

1200
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:04,640
Speaker 1: they all know, they all know the process. So even

1201
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:06,720
Speaker 1: if you're free, you still have to meet with me

1202
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 1: or my team and then we talk about like we

1203
00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:10,880
Speaker 1: don't even have to talk about sex. We're like, after

1204
00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:12,720
Speaker 1: your date, you're gonna get a feedback form from us.

1205
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 1: We're going to connect. If it goes well, we will

1206
00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:16,320
Speaker 1: help set up the second date. Like we're good here.

1207
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 1: And then by the way, we're corning the dates so

1208
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 1: we're not sending them to some sex dungeon. We're sending

1209
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 1: them for tap as in the West Villa Brook and

1210
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:27,040
Speaker 1: book now to mess how they got over there. You'll

1211
00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:30,600
Speaker 1: know this is good. You know it's interesting though, because

1212
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:32,280
Speaker 1: we also like I've learned a lot, Like you know,

1213
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:33,760
Speaker 1: the other things that come with the service is like

1214
00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:35,240
Speaker 1: we give you a photoshoo, but we also have a

1215
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:39,880
Speaker 1: person who audits your house, audits your wardrobe. Always. Yeah,

1216
00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:41,720
Speaker 1: if you're a client of mine, you're getting an audit

1217
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:44,200
Speaker 1: of your home, audit of your wardrobe, and a photo shoot.

1218
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 1: And I've given makeovers to men all the time. And

1219
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:51,040
Speaker 1: it's interesting when Nicholas, who he does the house stuff,

1220
00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:55,000
Speaker 1: like he's like, oh, this person he needs this or

1221
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:57,120
Speaker 1: this person you know, like you you can learn a

1222
00:59:57,120 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 1: lot about someone when you visit their home. This is

1223
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 1: so interesting because but look, I just want to say

1224
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 1: one last week, the people that tend to hire us

1225
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:07,240
Speaker 1: tend to be guys who are making two hundred or

1226
01:00:07,280 --> 01:00:09,040
Speaker 1: five hundred thousand dollars a year. That's like eighty percent

1227
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:11,240
Speaker 1: of my clients are in that range, and they're all

1228
01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:14,760
Speaker 1: just overworked. They don't have time to swipe. They've experienced

1229
01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:17,520
Speaker 1: a dating fatigue, and they're like, just you do it.

1230
01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:19,040
Speaker 1: I'll go on the dates. And the thing is the

1231
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:21,280
Speaker 1: best part about those kinds of clients at eighty percent,

1232
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:24,240
Speaker 1: where they're like you do it, I trust you. Those

1233
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 1: are the guys we get into relationships within two three

1234
01:00:26,360 --> 01:00:28,200
Speaker 1: four months. So, like, I had a client hire us

1235
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:30,400
Speaker 1: exactly two weeks ago, and today he emailed us to

1236
01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 1: say pause the contract because there's a freeze in the contract,

1237
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:35,480
Speaker 1: you know, I want to see what happens with this

1238
01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:38,800
Speaker 1: first match. And I'm like, oh, that's so healthy. Because

1239
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:40,280
Speaker 1: I've had clients where I set them up with like

1240
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:42,400
Speaker 1: the best match on the first try, and they're like, oh,

1241
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:44,240
Speaker 1: what else you got? And I'm like, no, no, no,

1242
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:47,280
Speaker 1: this is it. So you got to give them ugly first.

1243
01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:49,919
Speaker 1: Some clients you have to learn to like not give

1244
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:50,800
Speaker 1: them the best match first.

1245
01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:53,280
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of the best, I'm sure you give the

1246
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:55,520
Speaker 2: best advice in this book. It comes out this week.

1247
01:00:55,640 --> 01:00:58,280
Speaker 2: We're like really happy to have you on to celebrate this.

1248
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 2: Ask a Matchmaker no nonsense guide to finding love, y'all.

1249
01:01:03,640 --> 01:01:05,720
Speaker 1: You can only buy it up. You bought no old barn.

1250
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:09,560
Speaker 2: Now that's true, but this is really cool and honestly,

1251
01:01:09,680 --> 01:01:12,040
Speaker 2: just supporting your pod. I would love for people to

1252
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:14,479
Speaker 2: get a dose of what they're going to hear every week.

1253
01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:16,240
Speaker 2: What's your podcast? Where can they find you?

1254
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:18,760
Speaker 1: My podcast is also called Aska Matchmaker, and that's where

1255
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:21,560
Speaker 1: people can call in and ask questions dating questions. I've

1256
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:25,320
Speaker 1: heard everything. I've answered over eight thousand dating questions on

1257
01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:29,920
Speaker 1: the pod. But also like online and I have you know,

1258
01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:33,520
Speaker 1: a different co host each month, and it gets fun

1259
01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:35,600
Speaker 1: because you get different personalities. The co host is also

1260
01:01:35,600 --> 01:01:37,080
Speaker 1: telling you about their dating history.

1261
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 2: Now, if you guys want the actual dating advice, what

1262
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:43,600
Speaker 2: we dig into for our course for that we're giving

1263
01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:46,840
Speaker 2: away for free with the pre order. Maria does give

1264
01:01:47,440 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 2: specific dating advice. It is a crash course, but it

1265
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:53,400
Speaker 2: was really helpful, and even I was sitting there reacting

1266
01:01:53,400 --> 01:01:53,640
Speaker 2: a lot.

1267
01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:57,680
Speaker 1: I don't because she read me, uh, just like am

1268
01:01:57,720 --> 01:02:00,600
Speaker 1: I love bombing? And I'm like, yeah, Now.

1269
01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:02,680
Speaker 2: She was basically saying somebody that's like, oh my god,

1270
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:05,440
Speaker 2: we should do this. Sext month is a love bomber. Yeah,

1271
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:09,960
Speaker 2: you had to talk in the present Explorer. We all

1272
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:12,280
Speaker 2: go check us out on patreon dot com, backslash Horrible

1273
01:02:12,280 --> 01:02:14,520
Speaker 2: Decisions if you mix miss all the sex talk since

1274
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:15,680
Speaker 2: Maria won't let us have it.

1275
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:19,000
Speaker 1: Or a lawyer, and go to an HV tour dot

1276
01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 1: com to go and see us on tour.

1277
01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:24,040
Speaker 3: Thank you, guys for tuning in to another episode of

1278
01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:25,520
Speaker 3: Decisions Decisions