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Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am

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Speaker 1: welcome to the show. It's the nick Glazer Podcast. It's

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Speaker 1: Monday when we're recording this. I think you're hearing it

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Speaker 1: on a Tuesday. Um. But lots to talk about. UM.

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Speaker 1: First up, let's just bring him in off the top. UM.

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Speaker 1: He was my co host from another show host. UM.

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Speaker 1: It was like many years ago, five years ago, twenty sixteen, yeah,

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Speaker 1: um pre Trump. Uh he oh my god, that's when

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Speaker 1: we had a podcast. It was a different world. It's

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Speaker 1: like the new pre nine eleven. Um. He is the

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Speaker 1: author and creator of Apple rankings dot com, which is

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Speaker 1: a hilarious site where you can read about apples. He's

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Speaker 1: also a hilarious stand up comedian. He hasn't been a

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Speaker 1: writer on UM show, a show like Adam Ruins Everything.

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Speaker 1: What other shows have you done? Is there? Am I

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Speaker 1: getting all your credits? Right? Yeah? If this is your

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Speaker 1: own Comedy Central UM animated series, what was that called you?

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Speaker 1: Oh there's a show on Netflix called Adventure Beast. Uh. Yes, Oh,

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Speaker 1: there is a Common Central snapchat show called George Washington DTF.

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Speaker 1: But we don't have to go through all my credits.

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Speaker 1: I mean you could see my credits at all. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, well that's it just gives you a little

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Speaker 1: bit of um, notoriety. Not that my fans care. They

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Speaker 1: just like they just care that you, well they do care,

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Speaker 1: but they they care that you're just my friend and

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Speaker 1: you're funny, I think. Um, and that's the truth for

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Speaker 1: you're funny, nice and my friend. And uh, yeah, we've

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Speaker 1: been friends for a while. I met him. What didn't

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Speaker 1: we meet two thousand Oh, my god, a long time ago,

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Speaker 1: earlier earlier, I think two thousand and nine or two

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Speaker 1: thousand and ten, because we met in Indiana. I know

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Speaker 1: you met at the first club I ever headlined. You

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Speaker 1: made the first poster for the first show I ever

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Speaker 1: headlined at the Comedy Attic in Bloomington, Indiana. Um, but

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Speaker 1: he was a comic on the scene then and uh,

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Speaker 1: and he's my friend now, and he's here with us.

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Speaker 1: His name is Brian Frangie. Yes, hello, hello, hello, And

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Speaker 1: here Noah is here. We got started off today when

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Speaker 1: we all got on the thing and I asked Brian

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Speaker 1: how what he was doing, and he was like me,

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Speaker 1: I'm good, I go I'm good. It was just like

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Speaker 1: a very like you thought about it, and then you said,

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Speaker 1: I said, okay, good and you go. I try to

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Speaker 1: answer that sincerely. UM, And that's what I like about you.

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Speaker 1: You have like a shimmer of autism. Right we all agree,

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Speaker 1: not all agree, but me and all the all of you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if I could go to a doctor, I'm sure they

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Speaker 1: could diagnose me with something. But like I feel like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I could. I feel like everybody could get

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Speaker 1: diagnosed with something, but I don't exactly. Yeah, we could.

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm not autistic. No, No, you're not. I'm sorry

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Speaker 1: to say that. I mean I think I have a

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Speaker 1: shimmer of it too, But I like that you have

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Speaker 1: what'd you say on you right out of the gates,

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Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm just like, there's well because he's he's

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Speaker 1: very he has a lot of theories. He has. UM,

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Speaker 1: he's just an interesting person. He's a quirky person, and

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Speaker 1: I think sometimes quirky people you can maybe leap to

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Speaker 1: a thing. I don't know what is. There's there's a

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Speaker 1: neurodivergence there. I give it to myself too, I am

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm complimenting myself because I see a lot of

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Speaker 1: my the same things I like about the same things

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Speaker 1: I feel sometimes weird about being too honest or being

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Speaker 1: like too like I know exactly what I want and

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Speaker 1: the way I see things. Um, I see in Brian

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Speaker 1: and like just being and not being able to lie

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Speaker 1: about how are you or not like not being able

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Speaker 1: to lie? Of course you can, um, Brian's great at reading,

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Speaker 1: reading social cues. He's not like, not that that there's

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Speaker 1: anything wrong if you can. But yeah, you're just a

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Speaker 1: You're a quirky person. You're a quirky guy, right, wouldn't

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Speaker 1: you say so? I would say so. You know, speaking

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Speaker 1: of quirks, you have an addiable quality that I want

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Speaker 1: to point out that's in the same vein. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: want to hear an admirable quality. Yeah, by saying you

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Speaker 1: to shimmer of autism, I want to say that was

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Speaker 1: me saying you you don't I don't. I guess we

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Speaker 1: haven't hung out enough that I'm obsessed with people with

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Speaker 1: autism and I want to have it. And so that

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Speaker 1: was me being nice. But it seemed like I was

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Speaker 1: like bullying you right out of the gate. Okay, what

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Speaker 1: does my admirable quality tell me? Now? I want? I

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Speaker 1: took it as a compliment Honestly, I like the idea

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Speaker 1: of being focused on things and you know interesting, but

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Speaker 1: your annual quality is when when you learn about a thing,

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Speaker 1: a new thing, especially especially if it's a niche thing,

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Speaker 1: you are you have the ability to dive into every

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Speaker 1: single thing that's been written on that and read everything

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Speaker 1: about it within the next day. Yes, do you have

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Speaker 1: that too? I have a feeling you might have that too. Well,

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Speaker 1: that's kind of how I feel about apples. Because I

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Speaker 1: can rank apples, I'll go into it. It's pretty crazy

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Speaker 1: to go in on the spectrum. I forgot he has

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Speaker 1: an Apple blog, give an Apple ranking website where I

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Speaker 1: give every apple a score out of a hundred based

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Speaker 1: on ten nine ten point rubric. And you know, that's

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Speaker 1: just a little bit of like focus that needs to

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Speaker 1: be a lot of yes do you isn't? Are you

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Speaker 1: remembering anything that I got really into and learned about overnight?

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Speaker 1: That like is the basis for this is? Does anything

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Speaker 1: come to mind? Oh? Well, I mean there's tons of things, Um, definitely, Uh,

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Speaker 1: personality disorders, yeah, which I just casually. You know, I

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Speaker 1: don't read everything. I read a third of things. As

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Speaker 1: my fans know, I read like a third of books,

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Speaker 1: and then I go, okay, I get it, like yeah,

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Speaker 1: us times, I dive right in. Oh yeah, I'll wake

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Speaker 1: up and there will be three hundred and seventy four

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Speaker 1: texts from Nikki because she's been up since four in

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Speaker 1: the morning reading about sociopathy and she's taken a quiz

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Speaker 1: and sends like thirty seven screenshots of her results of

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Speaker 1: the quiz. Yes, and then she knows everything aboutth I

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Speaker 1: mean that that's there's something wrong with me. Do you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm into right now? That I read everything

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Speaker 1: about yesterday? I think we can probably guess pizza. Yeah, Succession,

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Speaker 1: I Nicholas, something Nicholas brought. I mean I read everything

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Speaker 1: about succession that I could find Yesterday. I googled succession

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Speaker 1: HBO that I went to news results boom, went down

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Speaker 1: the list, read every you know think piece that I

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Speaker 1: you know that caught my eye that I thought maybe

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Speaker 1: there's something the new info to be gleaned from this.

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Speaker 1: So I just true A lot that shows is about

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Speaker 1: the Murdoch family. But yes, yes, I mean it doesn't

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Speaker 1: completely line up perfectly, but they do have I believe,

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Speaker 1: two sons and a daughter, and there's estrangement. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm guessing Brian, you love Succession as well. I just

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Speaker 1: by knowing who you are. Well, I've only watched the

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Speaker 1: first couple episodes so far. I'm late to the game.

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Speaker 1: I'm late. You're just like me, then, dude, I was.

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Speaker 1: I only watched three episodes for so many years, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, you know, it's like I can't like

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Speaker 1: I got into it, but I didn't let yourself get

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Speaker 1: into it. Man, I just finished. I went through three seasons,

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Speaker 1: which was twenty nine episodes an hour and five minutes each.

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Speaker 1: Let's take off up five minutes because at the end

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Speaker 1: they do like you know, they talk about the episode

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Speaker 1: or whatever, and there's credits. So twenty nine hours of

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Speaker 1: my life. That's a day and some change. I realized

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Speaker 1: it contributed to my lack of sleep last week. It

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Speaker 1: it's rare that I want to watch something oversleep. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I would say it almost never happens. I really do

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Speaker 1: value sleep when I'm tired. I liked to sleep, but

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Speaker 1: Succession was more entertaining than my dreams last week and

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Speaker 1: I finished it. I'm a little disappointed. Can I just

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Speaker 1: say that everyone that's seen three seasons there was something

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Speaker 1: that happened in season three because I remember it distinctly

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Speaker 1: when I was just a person that did not watch it,

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Speaker 1: remembered a moment no. I remember in twenty twenty one,

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Speaker 1: there was a moment when everyone was watching it where

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Speaker 1: everyone lost their mind and was like last night succession.

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Speaker 1: I don't remember if it was the season valley, I

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Speaker 1: don't remember if it was episodes. I don't remember what

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Speaker 1: episode was, but there was a cultural moment where everyone

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Speaker 1: who was watching it lost their mind, and I remember

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Speaker 1: being jealous. It was like, um, the Red wedding episode

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Speaker 1: of Game of Thrones. It was like these these seminal

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Speaker 1: moments on TV shows where everyone collectively that is watching

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Speaker 1: it was like, that's the greatest thing, and they all

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Speaker 1: collectively share this feeling of awe and shock. You know,

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Speaker 1: those are usually listed the other way around. But I

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Speaker 1: changed it up on shock and and it didn't happen.

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Speaker 1: I don't know where it was. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: people were freaking out about. I let me just say

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Speaker 1: the season three finale didn't catch the big twist. I

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Speaker 1: so I watched it yesterday at UM I was flying

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Speaker 1: back from Buffalo. I can't believe it was yesterday. It

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Speaker 1: feels like so long ago. But I didn't sleep on

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Speaker 1: Saturday night we just shown Buffalo, did not I was

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Speaker 1: stayed up all night. I wasn't watching Succession. I was

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Speaker 1: just like, couldn't sleep because I had to get up

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Speaker 1: at three thirty. And then the time change, and it

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Speaker 1: went from one o'clock to two o'clock so fast, almost instantly.

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Speaker 1: Some would say and then and then so it was

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Speaker 1: like eleven o'clock and then it was two o'clock, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, what the fuck just happened? And then

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Speaker 1: I had to go to the airport at four and

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Speaker 1: then get on my flight at five, like it was.

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Speaker 1: It was crazy. And then I didn't sleep, but I

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Speaker 1: watched Succession like bleary eyed in the Admiral's Club in Charlotte.

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Speaker 1: And I did not catch the twist until I read

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Speaker 1: a bunch of New Yorker pieces about the twist, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, and then I had to go

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Speaker 1: back and see because so many things happen in Succession

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Speaker 1: where it's like someone will witness something and there's no dialogue,

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Speaker 1: so if you don't see that person see the thing,

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Speaker 1: I mean, this happens in a lot of shows. I

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Speaker 1: had to like watch it, you know, not just like

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Speaker 1: listen with my eyemask on and just let it talk

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Speaker 1: me to sleep, like a mom telling me a story. Um.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just a little disappointed though, that the twist

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Speaker 1: was not as crazy as everyone seemed to be losing

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Speaker 1: their minds about in twenty twenty one. I'm it's fine.

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Speaker 1: It was great. It was not like lose your mind moment, Brian,

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Speaker 1: what do you like these moments? Yeah, there's no shock there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm awe. And then I went to a yawn. I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh that great. Um, but the show is fantastic.

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Speaker 1: I'm obsessed and I've read every single thing that I

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Speaker 1: can get my hands on. If if you Bestie know

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Speaker 1: any article that isn't the New Yorker one with Jesse

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Speaker 1: the creator, or with the Kendall one that's very famous,

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Speaker 1: or the New GQ one about Kendall, I've read those.

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Speaker 1: But if you know any others from back in the day,

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Speaker 1: any interviews, I would love you if you send them

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Speaker 1: to me, because I am just like wanting to sop

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Speaker 1: up everything I can about this show because I don't

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Speaker 1: understand knowing so much about something that you could write

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Speaker 1: a show like this. I'm so jealous. I'm jealous that, like,

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Speaker 1: if I wanted to write a show about corporate like behemoths,

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Speaker 1: I would not know anything about money, about like IPOs

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Speaker 1: about like and Chris I my boyfriend whenever I lament

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Speaker 1: about like because every time we watch a show, I

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Speaker 1: just go, how could I ever write something like this?

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Speaker 1: I don't know anything about like even Last of Us.

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Speaker 1: I go, if the end of the world happened, how

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Speaker 1: do they figure out like Fedra like these like what

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Speaker 1: Fedra is? How they come up with that name? And

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Speaker 1: then the fireflies and like, and He's like, it's a

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Speaker 1: creative thing. And also, you like hire people who are

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Speaker 1: experts about this stuff, So like, say you wanted to

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Speaker 1: like write about the army, you would hire someone who

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Speaker 1: knows a lot about the army and say I want

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Speaker 1: this thing to happen, and then they would fill it in.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, like you get a task rabbit

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Speaker 1: to do certain things. But I do think there are

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Speaker 1: some writers who know everything and that just no stuff.

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Speaker 1: Brian thoughts, I think that the show is is not

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Speaker 1: real and the stuff that they're showing is not necessarily

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Speaker 1: how it actually is. And then that defines what we

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Speaker 1: all think it actually is, and it seems so accurate

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Speaker 1: that we now think that that's the way it is.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's not like that, but I think, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, if the end of the world happened, we

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Speaker 1: have many different apocalypse shows and they all they have

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Speaker 1: all different takes on what the army would do in

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Speaker 1: that situation, and it's like that all of them consults

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Speaker 1: a military expert and come up what they're going to

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Speaker 1: have a barbed wire fence. You know, they all didn't

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Speaker 1: do that. And how do you feel about Last of Us?

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Speaker 1: Brian will write me like I'll post on my Instagram

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Speaker 1: stories and think like the Last of Us. Brian wrote

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Speaker 1: to me once he was like Last of Us is

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Speaker 1: the new Game of Thrones. And I was so happy

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Speaker 1: to hear that because Brian used to come over to

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Speaker 1: my This is so weird, you guys, not so weird.

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Speaker 1: But Brian and my boyfriend Chris are friends. They met

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Speaker 1: through me, but and Brian worked on my show Not Safe.

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Speaker 1: He was we did the podcast together, but he was

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Speaker 1: also the worked in my digital department and he killed it.

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Speaker 1: But he um. They would watch Game of Thrones when

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Speaker 1: Game of Thrones was on. I guess this was like

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Speaker 1: the penultimate season, right this season five at least season

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Speaker 1: and I think, okay, good seasons. I mean seasons once

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Speaker 1: we three were good, seasons, seasons five, Season five was good.

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Speaker 1: Should I go through all the seasons? I mean was

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Speaker 1: it seven seasons total? Oh? I don't know anymore? Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: all I know is the last season sucked and you

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Speaker 1: guys were all upset. But the seasons that we watched,

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Speaker 1: that you guys watched together. Brian would come over, so

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Speaker 1: would Tim, Chris's brother. They would. The ritual was they

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Speaker 1: watched the episode from the week before. During that episode

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Speaker 1: from the week that they had already seen, they could talk.

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Speaker 1: They could they could discuss what was going to happen

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Speaker 1: in the next one. They could talk about fan theories,

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Speaker 1: comment on anything they want. That was an interactive moment.

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Speaker 1: Then the Game of Thrones would start and there it

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Speaker 1: would need to be dead, silence and respect, like in

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Speaker 1: a fucking funeral. Throughout the entire new episode, there was

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Speaker 1: no chiming in. I'm a very active watcher, so I

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Speaker 1: could not watch any of this because, first of all,

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Speaker 1: it was too violent. There's too many like and I

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Speaker 1: just didn't catch onto it. So I would go in

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Speaker 1: my room and sleep during this time. But they would

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Speaker 1: have these and then I would come out the very

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Speaker 1: end when I would like feel it wrapping up, and

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Speaker 1: there would be this like they would still not talk.

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Speaker 1: They would not talk for like five minutes after the

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Speaker 1: credits would end. They would just all be like in

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Speaker 1: stunned silence processing what they just watched, whether it was

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Speaker 1: good or bad, and then they would have a discussion

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Speaker 1: after that. It was like this weird It was this ritual.

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Speaker 1: I respected it, but um, what is it about? And

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Speaker 1: so I it was really happy because I felt left

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Speaker 1: left out of that. I felt happy that you have

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Speaker 1: now deemed I even told Chris. I was like Brian says,

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Speaker 1: Last of Us is a new Game of Thrones. I

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Speaker 1: was so happy to like be in on this thing

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Speaker 1: that was so sacred before. Um do you do you

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Speaker 1: have the same ritual for Last of Us? Not yet,

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Speaker 1: but I do want to commit on the Game of

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Speaker 1: Thrones experience. Uh. There. There was also part of the

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Speaker 1: ritual was I would get a complete Allenny and Larry's

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Speaker 1: complete cookie, which is a protein cookie, a vegan cookie, yes,

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Speaker 1: a vegan cookie. And I would nibble on it throughout

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Speaker 1: the Yeah, you would. Oh. It made me so mad

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Speaker 1: because I was into those two at the time and

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Speaker 1: I would finish mine so fast, and you were I

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Speaker 1: can't stand as a nibbler too, and I just watched.

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Speaker 1: I can't stand it because I can't nibble, and so

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Speaker 1: I watch you and I just go, how does someone

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Speaker 1: take a bite of something, a tiny bite, and then

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Speaker 1: put it back down and then chew it and then

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Speaker 1: maybe have a conversation in between the next bite, or

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Speaker 1: like maybe take a phone call. I get into it

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Speaker 1: uber with a Starbucks. I sort of got every single time,

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Speaker 1: because I'll sometimes have my Uber stop at a Starbucks

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Speaker 1: before we head to the airport. They always put down

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Speaker 1: they They're like, oh, please, please, please, and they like

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Speaker 1: put down the rest and that I have a cup holder,

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Speaker 1: and I go, I'm not setting this down. There's no

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Speaker 1: point in which I'm going to set this who sets

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Speaker 1: of delicious beverage. I'm gonna chug this extra hot ventique

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Speaker 1: thing within two and a half minutes. It's gonna be done,

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna be sucking out the phone and using

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Speaker 1: my finger to like scrape it. Um. So you would

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Speaker 1: nibble on your little cookie because you have um, I

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Speaker 1: don't set it down. I don't set it down. I

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Speaker 1: keep it up there and I just keep new nibbles. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: guinea pig, Huh do you nibble through the cookie or

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Speaker 1: do you have like a ritual? Do you eat around

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Speaker 1: like in circles? Are you kidding me? Brian is not

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Speaker 1: doing anything willy nilly. There is a rintual being on it.

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Speaker 1: There's a plan in place, and in general, I would

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Speaker 1: nibble a circumference first, rotate it again like a dial. Well,

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Speaker 1: because the outer the outer edges are generally easier to nibble,

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Speaker 1: and as you get deeper into the cookie, they become

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Speaker 1: dense and you have to And that's the better part,

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Speaker 1: Like you're saving the epicenter for for the end, like

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Speaker 1: the best. Yes. Oh but first I forgot this is

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Speaker 1: really going to bed. I forgot to mention that. I

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Speaker 1: first I opened the package and then I smell it

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Speaker 1: for like ten minutes. No, no, about Well, okay, so

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Speaker 1: what you have to understand is I would the cookie.

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Speaker 1: I would know how much we had left in the episode,

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Speaker 1: depending on how much cookie I had left what I

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Speaker 1: will never look at my watch and I will do

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Speaker 1: the things. I won't pretend to press pause so I

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Speaker 1: can see the little line come up on the bottom

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Speaker 1: of the screen, because it takes you out of the experience. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I do that all the time. I like to move

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Speaker 1: my cursor, or I like I pause, I pause. It

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Speaker 1: shows all the time to be like, what do we

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Speaker 1: got left? Why isn't there an easy way to look on?

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Speaker 1: And by the way, just sidebar and maybe do you

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Speaker 1: have this thing too? Do you watch a lot of YouTube?

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Speaker 1: Who doesn't? Okay? Why is YouTube so hard to fast

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Speaker 1: forward and rewind? What the fuck is the toggle? I

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Speaker 1: don't know what it is. I've never given myself opportunity

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00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,400
Speaker 1: because anytime I want to even try to figure it out,

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Speaker 1: I know that it's going to skip to the next video.

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Speaker 1: What is the toggle? Does anyone know? It's all capitalism,

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00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:43,600
Speaker 1: It's all based on ads. You're right. They don't want

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Speaker 1: you to be able to fast forward fifteen seconds or

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Speaker 1: behind fifteen seconds like my porn I love to go.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what you mean when you say what

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00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:57,160
Speaker 1: is the toggle? No for for fast forwarding and rewinding

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Speaker 1: YouTube videos? If you want to go ten seconds ahead,

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Speaker 1: how do you do that without putting a finger on

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Speaker 1: the cursor at the bottom and tracing it and then

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Speaker 1: getting it wrong. There's on the screen. You can tap

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Speaker 1: on the right side of the screen and it goes

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Speaker 1: forward ten seconds the screen on the screen itself. Oh

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00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:21,920
Speaker 1: there's so, there's no little marker, it's just the screen.

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Speaker 1: Hold on, Gonna try it out. Kelly Clarkson covers ninety

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Speaker 1: pump smash Smashing Pumpkins. Brian, thank you. Okay, go back, Okay,

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Speaker 1: wait we answered that. That just worked for me. Thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for that. Oh my mind. The same

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Speaker 1: way when you taught me the cursor, or someone taught

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Speaker 1: me just moving the cursor on the iPhone. You just

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Speaker 1: hold it down and then you can move it all

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Speaker 1: over the place when you're texting. Yeah, people don't know that.

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Speaker 1: If you're in the middle of a text paragraph and

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Speaker 1: you you have a misspelling or there's a period that

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00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,639
Speaker 1: wasn't supposed to be there, you need to put quotes

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00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,880
Speaker 1: or something instead of like just tapping it and trying

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00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 1: to get the cursor exactly where you want it too

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00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,200
Speaker 1: in the text, You can hold down your finger and

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00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,159
Speaker 1: the cursor will go there, and then you just keep

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00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,560
Speaker 1: keep holding it and then move the cursor around on

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00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 1: the screen and you can move it wherever you want

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Speaker 1: it to and that Oh, there's a new one in town.

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00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 1: You guys updated my iPhone. When you send an email,

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Speaker 1: this is crazy. You send an email, draft it, and

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00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,359
Speaker 1: then you go to the little button that would be

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00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:23,040
Speaker 1: to send it, like the blue arrow. Hold that and

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00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 1: then it will give you the option to send tomorrow

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00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 1: at whatever time, and then you can send it in

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00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,399
Speaker 1: the AMA tonight when you're in the middle of the

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00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:32,639
Speaker 1: night and you want to send someone a bunch of

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00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,720
Speaker 1: pages about sociopathy, do you go This is gonna look

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00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 1: quick chaotic, coming at four am. I would like to

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00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 1: send this at nine thirty am. And that's why you

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00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,640
Speaker 1: can do it. Isn't that cool? So that's the new one. OK.

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Speaker 1: We have to go to bramail or macmail macmail. Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm not using macmail. Who is us? Like on your phone?

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Speaker 1: Do you always use Gmail or do you use like

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Speaker 1: this little guy? I'm talking macmail. Sorry, I don't know

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00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,920
Speaker 1: who uses Gmail. No, I mean I use Gmail through

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00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 1: my macmail, but I don't on my home computer use

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00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,960
Speaker 1: the mail. Don't know why don't? Yeah? I never know

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00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 1: how to set that one up. It's always jumping up

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00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 1: and down. It's always like come on, you know, like

401
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,879
Speaker 1: on on your notifications, and I'm like, get at it here.

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00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:19,200
Speaker 1: It's making weird noises, it's chiming during zoom meetings. I

403
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,560
Speaker 1: don't want it. I'll go to the web browser. I'll

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00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 1: type in Gmail dot come. I don't want you jumping around.

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Speaker 1: I don't want final draft to stop jumping around and

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Speaker 1: reminding me that I have a script that I will

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00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:34,399
Speaker 1: never start. Just down there. Okay, we're gonna go to

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00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,199
Speaker 1: break and we'll come back with more Brian Franjie. We'll

409
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 1: get well, we'll pick him back up where we started,

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00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:42,399
Speaker 1: where he's sniffing his cookie and then um and tracing

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Speaker 1: where he is in the Game of Thrones episode right

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Speaker 1: after this. Okay, we're back. Um, so you're you're in

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00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 1: your cookie. It's helping you trace the time. Any other

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00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 1: things that would happen during this Game of Thrones ritual

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00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:00,080
Speaker 1: that I've missed out on. Well, it was very it

416
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 1: was very nice of you because it was your house

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00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 1: and we'd watch the show and then you would give

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Speaker 1: us our fifteen minute grace period where we could sit

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00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 1: there in silence, and absorb what just occurred, and you

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00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 1: would then you would come out and you would start saying,

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00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:18,399
Speaker 1: you would start making fun of us and also trying

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00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:21,880
Speaker 1: to understand what happened, why do we feel this way,

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Speaker 1: and appreciating the show itself. Yes, thank you, Brian, thank you.

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Speaker 1: I don't mock something. If someone loves something, it's not

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00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 1: just me just mocking it. And yesterday I was with

426
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 1: my assistant Jen and my hair and makeup stylist slash

427
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,440
Speaker 1: friend Robin, and we were in Miami for this event

428
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 1: and they got on about F one and Chris loves

429
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,159
Speaker 1: F one and Robin loves F one and Jen loves

430
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 1: IF one and I said something about F one. They go,

431
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,480
Speaker 1: oh my god, I love it. I go why, And

432
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,119
Speaker 1: they got very at first. They were defensive. They were like, um,

433
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,159
Speaker 1: because it's the best. And I'm like, no, no, no, no,

434
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 1: I'm not asking why, like, oh why sometimes I do that.

435
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I'm sometimes I'm very judgmental. I

436
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,240
Speaker 1: want I go get me to like it. Please explain

437
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 1: to me why I don't have this chip in my

438
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 1: brain that enjoys cars go fast round round room, room

439
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 1: might flip over and like spill into the audience and

440
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 1: kill people. I realized my biggest hesitation with any auto

441
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 1: racing is the chance that I'm going to be injured

442
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 1: during it, that I'm going to be in a car

443
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 1: accident that I'm not in, you know, like that a

444
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,880
Speaker 1: car accident's going to come into me. And they told

445
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,200
Speaker 1: me that it rarely happens. It happened like one time

446
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 1: in like nineteen sixty something with like there's a huge

447
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 1: f one, you know, but they're often you know, just

448
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 1: going like through like Monaco and there are hundreds of

449
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,120
Speaker 1: people with babies, and I'm like, how is this car

450
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 1: not one time just like the guy gets a text

451
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 1: message and just carens into the crowd. There's the same

452
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 1: reason I don't like air shows. So yeah, I would

453
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 1: come out and try to understand what is it about

454
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,440
Speaker 1: Game of Thrones. It's it's so cute to me. When

455
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 1: my boyfriend, especially is like I get kind of you know,

456
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 1: I get horny when he's into like like when he

457
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 1: gets like reared up about like you know, sexual things,

458
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 1: like when he I see him get like turned on

459
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 1: by something I'm like very interested in, like oh do

460
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:07,959
Speaker 1: you love that? Or when I found out as a kid,

461
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,399
Speaker 1: he like played with legos. I was like, what that

462
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 1: was your thing? Like that's so cute? Like I love

463
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 1: learning what he loves. And so that's why sometimes I

464
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 1: get I think hurt where I'm like, Chris, why don't

465
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 1: you care why I like Taylor Swift? Like there's never

466
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 1: been a question, and my family doesn't either. My family

467
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,120
Speaker 1: is just like, go, aren't you interested? Why I'm obsessed

468
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 1: with Taylor Swift? Like no one's ever asked me why

469
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 1: why does this mean so much to you? And it's

470
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,200
Speaker 1: because that is how I show my love is like

471
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: or how I feel connected to someone is figuring out

472
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:40,119
Speaker 1: how why do they care about this so much? So

473
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,360
Speaker 1: I still I get it. I get it with Game

474
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 1: of Thrones. I mean you're you're definitely not alone, but um,

475
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 1: I still don't. It's like football for me. I don't

476
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 1: understand how you guys keep it all, how you memorize

477
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,119
Speaker 1: all of the shit, and how it's all sticks in

478
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,400
Speaker 1: your head and how you the characters don't because I've

479
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,159
Speaker 1: watched a couple episodes and it's in one ear, in

480
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:01,760
Speaker 1: out the other. I don't or in one eye and

481
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 1: out the other. Um out my asshole because I just

482
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: don't I can't retain it. Um, So yeah, that was that.

483
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 1: That was always fun though, because I could could just

484
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 1: go and get my seven pm nap and I'd come

485
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 1: out with like indentations in my face from my sleep

486
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,640
Speaker 1: mask and just be like, hey guys and like get

487
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 1: pick up my dog and kind of like let it out,

488
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,919
Speaker 1: and then you guys would all just be in stunned silence. Um,

489
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 1: Chris would be like weeping sometimes I'm like, he's never

490
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: cried with me, Okay, Like it would just be It's

491
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 1: it was so cute that you guys all cared about

492
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: something so much. What would they tell you when you

493
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 1: would walk up and be like, why are you guys

494
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 1: into this? What was their answer? Oh? Would it would

495
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 1: be longer than I'd want it to be? What is it? Brian?

496
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 1: Like what can you try to answer that for me?

497
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 1: And then like what is it? Because I'm guessing that

498
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 1: you really haven't found a replacement for it since no,

499
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,120
Speaker 1: when I say last of Us at the next Game

500
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: of Thrones, I really mean that it is um appointment

501
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 1: television that people that the a lot of people seem

502
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:03,119
Speaker 1: to be watching at the same time. It's nice that

503
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,399
Speaker 1: something doesn't just dumped on you. Nice. It's nice that,

504
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 1: um it's from Taylor sled Nice. Um, it's nice when

505
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 1: something isn't just dumped on you and you just binge

506
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 1: all the episodes. Um, I like this doling out. You know.

507
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 1: The doling out does not work with Love is Blind. Netflix,

508
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: Listen up. I don't care about these characters enough for

509
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: you to take a little hiatus. I'm not coming back.

510
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna. Yeah, you can't. You can't dole them out

511
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 1: like it's a HBO critically acclaimed uh dramatization. Serious, you can't.

512
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 1: It's nice that you tried. You don't. It's not gonna

513
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:45,879
Speaker 1: be destination TV. We want to watch it in one

514
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,239
Speaker 1: binge when we're going through a depressive state of our

515
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 1: lives and we want to watch other people's um going

516
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: through something as well, Like we're not doing well when

517
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,920
Speaker 1: we watch these shows. If you want us consistent viewership,

518
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 1: you gotta it can't be. It can't be Love is Blind.

519
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 1: So I agree. I look forward to every Sunday with

520
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,119
Speaker 1: Last of Us. It's a ritual. It feels like, you know,

521
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,920
Speaker 1: back to the way it was interesting enough, you know,

522
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: Chris Rock having that live special and having that be

523
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 1: that did well for Netflix. You know, people tuning in

524
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 1: live we're back where we're back at live TV. We

525
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 1: came back full circle again. It literally we're all watching

526
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 1: the fucking moon landing. Um. Yeah, any other things to

527
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 1: say about Game of Thrones? About Game of Thrones, Well

528
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 1: I didn't. You didn't answer my question, um because I

529
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 1: interrupted you about why why it matters so much? Why

530
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 1: does it matter? Well? I think you just get really

531
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,479
Speaker 1: invested in the characters and the world. And even though

532
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 1: it was like horrible, I think a little bit of

533
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 1: part of me wants to be in the medieval times,

534
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 1: and I kind of wonder, like, what would I be

535
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:55,200
Speaker 1: too Christmas time post a Puck, I will be dead. Chris.

536
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,159
Speaker 1: I remember watching Last of Us and it's almost like

537
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 1: when Elane and remember on Seinfeld, when Elane doesn't believe

538
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 1: in God or heaven and Hell and Putty, her boyfriend

539
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: does and she goes, yeah, you think I'm going to Hell,

540
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 1: which I am not because it doesn't exist, but you

541
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 1: think I'm going to Hell. And he's like, it's gonna

542
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 1: be rough, and she's like, but David, Hell with the

543
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: devil and the heat my God, the heat, and he's

544
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,239
Speaker 1: like gonna be rough. Like that's how I feel when

545
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 1: Chris like loves Most Apocalypse said, I'm like, I'm gonna

546
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 1: be raped constantly. I'm not gonna have the running water,

547
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,879
Speaker 1: Like I know, you get to like go battle fucking zombies,

548
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: but it's gonna be rough for me, like we consider

549
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 1: me and not that like his wish is gonna come true.

550
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: But I get mad that people want to live in

551
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 1: those We're so lucky we're not living medieval times. Aren't

552
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: you so happy? God? Yes, I'd have to be like

553
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: scrubbing all those mushrooms off the wall. That's all I'd

554
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 1: be doing is cleaning the fucking mushrooms. Oh, I don't

555
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 1: think about that at all. I'm like, oh, thank God,

556
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 1: a excuse not to clean. Everything is dirty finally, I

557
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 1: mean it is gross. There's no like kimp to check

558
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 1: into and like be like there's a sheet on last

559
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 1: of us. They're all on a dirty mattress on the floor.

560
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,040
Speaker 1: I know he had that wound and she kept covering

561
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 1: his shirt back up. I'm like, you're reinfecting the wound

562
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 1: with his dirty shirt. Stop just leave it open to

563
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 1: the air. Sounded you make when she injected him with

564
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 1: I said, Chris, this is the grossest thing I've seen

565
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 1: on the in my entire life. Was her putting a

566
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 1: needle into a wound. I can't even think. I can't

567
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: think of maybe in that movie. Uh remember the movie.

568
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 1: There's like a pie movie. I think it's called Pie

569
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 1: and there's like a needle in an eye or something

570
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,959
Speaker 1: weird happens with oh Pan's Labyrinth. There's some I thing

571
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 1: in that. I this is worse than that. Um so

572
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 1: the characters, all that stuff. Okay, I want to set

573
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 1: you up, Brian. You came in. You said you had

574
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 1: a story that you want to tell. Yeah, this weekend

575
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 1: I had an ordeal. Oh please yeah, bring us through it,

576
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 1: hold us, hold our hands through your ordeal. Yeah. So,

577
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 1: um this was I had a very stressful weekend because

578
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 1: there's my neighbor is Um, I guess he's like a farmer.

579
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 1: He's he's not my neighbor city. Yes, oh no, no, yes,

580
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 1: I live in Culver City. I don't want to Los Angeles. Everyone. Yes,

581
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,240
Speaker 1: my neighbor is a is a farmer. He has a

582
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 1: lot of land and he's farms and I my window

583
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 1: looks out into his into his yard, and I see

584
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 1: him farming, and he's a nice man, but to protect

585
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 1: his crops, he puts out traps, and that last of us. Yes,

586
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 1: and frequently he traps animals like squirrels, possum, things like that,

587
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 1: and um, sometimes he leaves them in that trap for

588
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 1: a long time. Like you're allowed to trap animals, but

589
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 1: you can't just leave them in there. Yeah, And I've

590
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 1: called and so I've been watching this guy's yard for years,

591
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 1: and like I've called animal control on him, probably like

592
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 1: three or four times over the last three years, because

593
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, there's a squirrel in there, there's a

594
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 1: possum in there. There's something in there, and it's not

595
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 1: if they're not letting it out. It's been in there

596
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 1: for a long time. And then god damn it, the local,

597
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 1: the local animal control person would go down there and

598
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 1: they would give him a warning and they would release

599
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 1: the animal and they would say, you really can't leave

600
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 1: it in there for that long. And so he's been

601
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 1: spoken too. So on Friday of this weekend, I'm I'm

602
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 1: expecting to have a nice, pleasant weekend, and I look

603
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 1: out the window and I see in his backyard there

604
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 1: is a possum trapped in his cage and it's raining,

605
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 1: and this possum has probably been in there since the

606
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 1: night because it's a nocturnal creature. And I'm like, I

607
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: can't believe this possum in there, but I'm gonna keep

608
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 1: an eye on it, because, like you know, if it's

609
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 1: in there for too long, this guy needs to let

610
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 1: it out. Of course it's going to be in there

611
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 1: too long. He never lets them out, So okay, yes,

612
00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: so I all day I'm watching this postum this cage,

613
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 1: and it's just so excruciating to watch this possum and

614
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 1: be like, what is this. He's like, maybe I can

615
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: get out now, maybe I can get anything. You can

616
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 1: never It's just like, no, you'll never get out, Like

617
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 1: that's the that's my problem. People are like sometimes people

618
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 1: don't understand why I care more about animals than human

619
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 1: rights issues. It's because humans can understand their circumstance. Humans

620
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 1: can go I'm starving right now. I mean, not chill.

621
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 1: Children is a different thing, but even children can kind

622
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 1: of grasp and conceptualize what is happening. We're in war

623
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 1: right now, it's raining. I'm scared. I'm lonely animals are

624
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 1: just fucking terrified and have no there's no there's no

625
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 1: accepting their fate. There's no, it's just that is That

626
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 1: is the part that breaks my heart, is that confusion

627
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 1: that keeping trying to get out that um. Every animal

628
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: that everyone eats at feels yes, and so I I

629
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 1: you have to give a grace period because it's like

630
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 1: you're allowed to trap the animal, and then you can,

631
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 1: after like a few hours, you can take takeet to

632
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 1: the woods, away from your crops. I go to sleep.

633
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 1: I wake up the next morning and I look out

634
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 1: my window and the possum is still there. So that

635
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 1: means it's been in there for over twenty four hours.

636
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 1: My god. At this point, I send an email to

637
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 1: the animal control the local animal control guy. I have

638
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 1: an email thread with him. We correspond and I called

639
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 1: him and nobody answered, and I'm like, okay, well, no

640
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,640
Speaker 1: one's answering. And then at a certain point, after more

641
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 1: and more hours pass, it's raining, and worst of all,

642
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 1: I have to say, if I was listening to this podcast,

643
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 1: I would stop listening right now because I can't take

644
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 1: the story. I will stay on because I'm the host,

645
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: but I am so uncomfortable with an animal's struggle. If

646
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 1: this were not my podcast, I would just go I'm

647
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 1: assuming this story ends. Well, I'm not listening, so will

648
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:58,720
Speaker 1: you get right now? I need to know this is okay.

649
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 1: I can't handle this. Okay, just keep going. I'm just

650
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 1: saying I'm very high to get it. The people there,

651
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 1: there's people walking around in the backyard. They see this postum.

652
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: I know that they see it. This guy, this fucking farmer,

653
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 1: okay him so much so I call the police, the

654
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 1: local police, not nine one one. I call the police station,

655
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 1: and I say, hey, there's a person with the possum.

656
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,719
Speaker 1: It's howling in the backyard. Can can someone just go

657
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 1: over there and tell them to release it? Because I

658
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,279
Speaker 1: don't want to go over there because I don't want

659
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 1: this guy to know that I'm a snitch. I don't

660
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 1: want I want to keep looking out of my window.

661
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,319
Speaker 1: I don't want anyone to know that I'm some guy,

662
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 1: you know, peeking through the blinds. So, and I also

663
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 1: don't want him to retaliate if he finds out it's me.

664
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 1: He can set traps. He's a shifty he's gonna trap you. Yeah,

665
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 1: the police don't know a circumstances, though I won't feel

666
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 1: as bad. Brian is just gonna be like, oh, just

667
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 1: like can't eat his cookies. Okay. The police tell me

668
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:52,800
Speaker 1: that the animal the local animal control officer is no

669
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 1: longer a position in the city, so there isn't one.

670
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,760
Speaker 1: They said, you can't. You have to contact La County.

671
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 1: So I so I call the county and the county

672
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 1: tells me. The county tells me, we can't go out.

673
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,359
Speaker 1: This is not something that we would go out to see.

674
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 1: This is not something we would do. We need the

675
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:16,520
Speaker 1: police to tell us to go there. So I have

676
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,239
Speaker 1: to I call the police again and I say, can

677
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 1: you tell the animal control can go out there? You're

678
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 1: like dealing with siblings, Like fine, you go tell mom. Yes.

679
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 1: So finally they go out there and they knock on

680
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 1: the person's door and they say did you call animal Control?

681
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 1: And they say, no, we did not, and then they leave.

682
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:42,279
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I'm I'm waiting like a two hours.

683
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 1: I'm still watching this possum and uh, it's been in

684
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 1: there for over two days at this point, and so

685
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,760
Speaker 1: I call back Animal Control and I say what happened?

686
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 1: And they say they told us what they didn't call.

687
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 1: It's like, no, you don't understand I'm snitching. You need

688
00:35:58,040 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 1: to come to me and I'll show it to you

689
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,359
Speaker 1: in the backyard. It's not them. They're not gonna they're

690
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 1: not gonna tell you we're torturing animals back here. So right,

691
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:07,360
Speaker 1: They're like, well, you have to get the police to

692
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 1: call us and tell us to come back. So I

693
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:15,360
Speaker 1: call the police again. I called the pants again, and

694
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,880
Speaker 1: uh they say, okay, we'll tell them animal Animal Controls

695
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:23,320
Speaker 1: is on its way, they say, And then, um, and

696
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 1: you are not getting anything done this day? No, I'm

697
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 1: just I just feel I wanted to make pancakes and

698
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 1: the whole day I don't want to make headcakes. I

699
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,040
Speaker 1: don't want to make pancakes when the police show up,

700
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:38,880
Speaker 1: that'll be horrible. I'll be in the middle of a

701
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:44,280
Speaker 1: pancake and it'll get burned. Edge. Is Alie your fiance

702
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 1: here also, like with you monitoring staking it out or

703
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,040
Speaker 1: she kind of just like Brian's doing a thing. She's

704
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,800
Speaker 1: not here this weekend. I'm all a load, Okay, what

705
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,440
Speaker 1: is the load? Looking at this thing? And I just

706
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 1: want to make pancakes so I would feel better. And

707
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 1: then and then uh uh, my neighbor, who is an

708
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,400
Speaker 1: eighty eight year old woman who I have a very

709
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 1: good relationship with another neighbor, a downstairs neighbor. Yes, um,

710
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:13,319
Speaker 1: she doesn't fuck around and she loves animals. And I say,

711
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 1: I say, you know that our neighbors are gonna possum

712
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,719
Speaker 1: and blah blah blah, and she says, well, I'll go

713
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 1: over there and i'll talk to him. I have a

714
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:21,360
Speaker 1: pre existing relationship with him. I was like, oh, okay,

715
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 1: it's like, but you gotta wait till he's outside and

716
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 1: then I'll go over there and I'll talk to him.

717
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 1: So I post up at my window. As soon as

718
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,640
Speaker 1: that man comes outside to check his recycling, I text

719
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 1: my neighbor, my neighbors. I say he's out, and then

720
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 1: my neighbor says, okay, and then she goes out there.

721
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:42,800
Speaker 1: Excuse me, excuse me, my upstairs neighbor says, and I'm like, no,

722
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 1: don't understand. No one understands the game. Okay, Yes, my

723
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 1: upstairs neighbor says that he sees a possum and you're

724
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 1: and it's cruel. And then at the exact same moment,

725
00:37:56,360 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 1: Animal Control shows up, Yes, and and uh, the man.

726
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 1: But but unfortunately the man has now been tipped off.

727
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 1: Animal Control shows up and I'm watching this out in

728
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:11,400
Speaker 1: my window. I watched the guy look at your window. No,

729
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,839
Speaker 1: he goes into his backyard. He knows animal control is here,

730
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 1: he knows that we know about the possum. He goes

731
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 1: into the backyard, he lifts up the cage and he

732
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 1: hides it in his ship. Yeah. You have to get involved.

733
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 1: You have to get involved. You have to say that

734
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:32,480
Speaker 1: I just saw him hide it. Come on, Brian. So

735
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,120
Speaker 1: the neighbor comes up and tells me that animal control

736
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,320
Speaker 1: is here. I go out and talk to Animal Control

737
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:41,320
Speaker 1: and they say, so, what's going on. I said that

738
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,239
Speaker 1: possums back there. And at this point, the possum is

739
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,680
Speaker 1: not moving. I'm assuming it's been in there for two

740
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:48,359
Speaker 1: and a half days, no water, no food, in the rain.

741
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 1: And the person, the animal control person, is like, well, Uh,

742
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 1: this guy's saying that the pot that he released the

743
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,400
Speaker 1: possum in the mountains uh this morning. And I was

744
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,719
Speaker 1: like no, I just saw him, and I'm like I

745
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:04,759
Speaker 1: just psalm. In fact, I filmed him pick up the

746
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:08,240
Speaker 1: cage and put it in the shed. I show Animal

747
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 1: control my phone video of him putting the cage in

748
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,759
Speaker 1: the shed. Yes, and animal control. Animal control is like,

749
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,719
Speaker 1: we have video evidence that the possum is still back

750
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 1: there and you just put it in the shed. And

751
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 1: he's like uh, And he's like, if the possum is dead,

752
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 1: you might be criminally charged for animals. Yeah, you better

753
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 1: hope the possum is life. Just give me the possum,

754
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 1: Give me the possum and let me take it from you.

755
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,800
Speaker 1: I'll just release it. He should be charged anyway. The

756
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 1: possum has been is near death, torture, tortured. He's allowed

757
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 1: to trap the animal, but he can't keep it in

758
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,239
Speaker 1: there until it starves to death and dies. Right, But

759
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,799
Speaker 1: what if it's about to die? You know, Like isn't

760
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 1: that a crime? Like why is there not? Like if

761
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 1: you hit someone with your card, don't kill them, you

762
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:55,720
Speaker 1: still get in trouble. Okay, go on. So the guy's like, Okay,

763
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,960
Speaker 1: I now that there's video evidence, I'm going to go

764
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 1: and get the possum. He takes the cage out, he

765
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 1: brings it and I and I say it should I

766
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,240
Speaker 1: stay here because I don't want to have a confrontation

767
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 1: with the neighbor, but I do want to see what

768
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 1: the possums situation is. He puts the cage down, The

769
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:15,239
Speaker 1: possum is not moving. The animal control person takes out

770
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 1: another cage, pokes at the possum and it wakes up. Yeah. Yeah,

771
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:22,800
Speaker 1: and then he's like, what the fuck is going on?

772
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:27,400
Speaker 1: The possum is okay. The animal control person takes the possum,

773
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 1: puts it in her cage. He says, I'm going to

774
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 1: release it in the mountains, and then she puts it

775
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,880
Speaker 1: in her truck. And my neighbor scowls at me. And

776
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 1: but he doesn't get in trouble either, which is fine.

777
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: I don't want him to get in trouble and then

778
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:43,040
Speaker 1: have a vendetta. Yes, the possum is okay. The possum

779
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 1: gets driven to the motherfucker. The farmer is not isn't arrested,

780
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 1: and I get to eat my pancakes, and I feel

781
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 1: good that I save the possum. But I also am

782
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 1: am in fear. Yeah, i'd be in fear too. I mean,

783
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:01,279
Speaker 1: now he knows it's gonna be, You're gonna be man,

784
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,000
Speaker 1: because every time you leave your house, do you have

785
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 1: a chance of like seeing him like, where is his car? Like,

786
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 1: is there a place to run into him? I guess

787
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:09,280
Speaker 1: just to get the mail or take out the recycling.

788
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to time it now. Oh, I see

789
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 1: him all the time and uh yeah, and then I

790
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 1: try to smile at him and he never smiles back.

791
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 1: But now, guy's a lunatic. I think a serial killer.

792
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 1: He really does. He sounds like the one the guy

793
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 1: that you're like, well, I did notice, Like the news

794
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:26,759
Speaker 1: team comes and goes, did you would you ever think

795
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 1: he would have all these bodies in his basement? You'll go, well,

796
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 1: there's a there's a possum situation. Um, yeah, you're this

797
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 1: is This is so often the case, you know, where

798
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 1: you are witnessing a person abuse animals or people or

799
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,359
Speaker 1: their kids, and you don't want to say anything because

800
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 1: you know you're dealing with a psycho and so you

801
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you for saying something though, and

802
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 1: like calling the right people and getting it done. I

803
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:50,840
Speaker 1: don't know what I would have done in that circumstance.

804
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 1: I would have probably moved out because I'm like, I

805
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 1: can't watch this possum die. But I'm too scared of

806
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: this man um it's what is this thing that we

807
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 1: all have? Is it like a trauma us? It's like, Nikki,

808
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,839
Speaker 1: you reposted that great tweet the other day, somebody wrote

809
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 1: something like that thing when men get angry with you

810
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 1: when you simply told them what happened. Like you, you

811
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,400
Speaker 1: explained to a man something that he did and then

812
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 1: he gets mad at you for extplain it. It's like

813
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:20,279
Speaker 1: you're now Brian in fear because you just called out

814
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 1: something totally inappropriate and you're in fear. Why this guy

815
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 1: should be in fear, But it's like you're scared. He's

816
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 1: the one that fucked up. I say, live your life

817
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 1: happily and fucking peacock your chest out because you did

818
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 1: the right thing. You're the good guy. He's the asshole

819
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 1: that's torturing animals, and you've got your eye on him,

820
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 1: and don't let him scare you. Don't let him terrorize you,

821
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:49,320
Speaker 1: because you'll fucking call the cops again. I feel that

822
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:53,360
Speaker 1: way all the time. It's such an if I people.

823
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,360
Speaker 1: There was an instance of it, even with mad in

824
00:42:56,440 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 1: the confrontation with the guy and wherever Charleston in the lobby,

825
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 1: I instantly felt because when he got mad at us.

826
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 1: I felt he's right, we're wrong, We're in trouble. I

827
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,439
Speaker 1: need to just like give up, like I can't take

828
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:15,399
Speaker 1: anyone being mad at me, or if I break a rule,

829
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:21,280
Speaker 1: even if a rule is dumb, like I have, I wouldn't.

830
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: I was talking about it to someone yesterday or I

831
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 1: was scared of like we had pot on us or something,

832
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 1: and I was like scared of someone smelling it and like, no,

833
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 1: and I know the pot laws like most places, it's

834
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:34,840
Speaker 1: it's legal or whatever. But there was a part of

835
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:37,000
Speaker 1: me that was like scared about someone being arrested. And

836
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 1: they were like, why are who cares? It's like, and

837
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 1: I go, well, it's stinky and it's annoying, so you

838
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 1: should like we should take it over here. And they're like,

839
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:48,400
Speaker 1: but it doesn't matter, and I go, well, I'm scared

840
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 1: it is illegal and I will get arrested. And I

841
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,160
Speaker 1: if I get arrested, there's no me going like, but

842
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 1: I didn't mean, it's just put my hands, me on

843
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 1: my back, acquiesced like I would never I've and this

844
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 1: is maybe a white person thing, like I don't. I

845
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:04,759
Speaker 1: don't think I could ever be charged with a crime.

846
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:08,360
Speaker 1: And I'd go but I didn't, I would just fucking

847
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 1: take it. I've never whenever I've gotten yelled at about

848
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 1: your you guys are too loud in this restaurant, or like,

849
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 1: not that that's ever happened. But I'm trying to give

850
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:17,719
Speaker 1: examples where you're like, well this is okay that we're

851
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:20,000
Speaker 1: doing this, or like, um, you can't take this chair,

852
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:21,839
Speaker 1: this chair blogs over here, even though no one's new

853
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,439
Speaker 1: using that chair. I just go, oh, I'm so sorry,

854
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:27,280
Speaker 1: take back the chair. There's no I will never finagle anything.

855
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 1: I will never get a good deal on something. I

856
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:32,279
Speaker 1: will never go like, but I think you said that

857
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 1: I could get that. I will just always give you

858
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,080
Speaker 1: all the money that you want. I don't want to

859
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 1: ever try to scam the system ever, when a company

860
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 1: wrongs you in some way. Yes, well this is another

861
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 1: example I was talking about. Um uh, you know someone

862
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 1: was saying, oh when I was talking about living in

863
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,400
Speaker 1: Saint Louis, and I go, you know, it's nice because studios,

864
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:57,879
Speaker 1: if they want me on their shows, they just fly

865
00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:59,839
Speaker 1: me out and put me up and then if they

866
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 1: own of the money, I'll do it myself and they

867
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 1: go they always have the money. I go, I understand

868
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:07,280
Speaker 1: that Warner Brothers has the money, has millions of dollars

869
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:09,320
Speaker 1: that they would not even know about if it went missing,

870
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 1: and they'd find another way to make it. But what

871
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 1: I'm saying is there's someone, there's a human being that

872
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,760
Speaker 1: is managing the money that was allocated for their travel expenses,

873
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,919
Speaker 1: for their talent, and there's a human being that's gonna

874
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 1: catch shit from another human being. Because I am asking

875
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 1: for an additional night at this hotel, so I know

876
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 1: it's not about the company. It's about a human being

877
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 1: who is in charge of that money, this arbitrary amount

878
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 1: of money, and that's who I'm trying to not get

879
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 1: in trouble or protect, Like I under fuck Apple, fuck

880
00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 1: Whole Foods, fuck Amazon. But there are people that are

881
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 1: catching the brunt of these expenses. Or you stealing from

882
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 1: a CVS the manager of that store, Yes, yes, steal

883
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 1: from CV. Like I got so mad at my friend

884
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 1: Taylor because she shoplifts all the time. She's like, it's

885
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:54,719
Speaker 1: the man, steal from the fucking man. Target doesn't care whatever,

886
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,240
Speaker 1: and it's like no, but that manager of that target

887
00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:00,479
Speaker 1: has a family and has like he's gonna catch because

888
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 1: there's too much theft going on in his place. It's

889
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 1: not about the corporation. I wish we could just steal

890
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 1: straight from the Amazon headquarters, but there is no Amazon headquarters.

891
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,880
Speaker 1: It's all in the cloud. I just was in Mexico

892
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: on vacation and we were out at brunch and they

893
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 1: had a huge bachelorette party, and between when we ordered

894
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:23,319
Speaker 1: and when we got our lunch, it was an hour

895
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:25,840
Speaker 1: and ten minutes or something, and at the forty five minutes,

896
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 1: I would have died in that time. I left because

897
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 1: I had to go do your podcast. So I was like,

898
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 1: I gotta go. You guys have fun at lunch. And

899
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 1: I left my party there and I told the waiter,

900
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:39,880
Speaker 1: can you just cancel my tacos? I have to go

901
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 1: run to work. And his face just fell, and you know,

902
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:46,399
Speaker 1: I was like, oh sorry. And then a few days later,

903
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:47,719
Speaker 1: my dad and I were talking and he was like,

904
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:50,359
Speaker 1: do you know that here in Mexico the waiters are

905
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:54,080
Speaker 1: charged anytime somebody cancels or no order or something. And

906
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:56,880
Speaker 1: I was like what. And I made a point to

907
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,759
Speaker 1: get the money to that waiter because I did not.

908
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 1: I was like, I do not want that guy to

909
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 1: have to pay for my lunch that I can't slay

910
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 1: that be I don't know. Um. I Also, I was

911
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:13,840
Speaker 1: at dinner last week with some Australians and there was

912
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 1: a question about whether there was butter in one of

913
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: the dishes because I'm vegan and I ordered this asparagus

914
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,800
Speaker 1: but it tasted really buttery. It tasted too good, you know,

915
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:23,960
Speaker 1: And I was like, I think there's butter in this,

916
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 1: and the bus boy and I go, we gotta find

917
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,040
Speaker 1: our waiter to ask because I had specifically asked him.

918
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 1: The bus boy came over and my friend becks. The

919
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:33,759
Speaker 1: Australian was like, do you know if there's butter in this?

920
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,080
Speaker 1: Or if the and I go, he doesn't fucking like

921
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:37,719
Speaker 1: I go. We all were like, no, no, no, don't

922
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 1: ask the bus boy like there And I guess in

923
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 1: Australia bus boys are there's no bus boys. Everyone is

924
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 1: just working in the same system. In America, bus boys

925
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 1: generally don't know what's going on with your orders. They're

926
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 1: refilling waters, they're busting the table, they're bringing out plates,

927
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:56,840
Speaker 1: but they're not they don't know the ingredients of the salad.

928
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm saying? So there's I guess

929
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:03,279
Speaker 1: there's different chef's meal. Would you say they haven't like

930
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:07,320
Speaker 1: sampled the family meal. I mean there may be like

931
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 1: taking bits of food off plates that they bust because

932
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 1: I used to do that when I would bus tables.

933
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,920
Speaker 1: But I have awkward interactions with bus boys all the

934
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 1: time because I don't realize that they're the bus boy.

935
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:18,359
Speaker 1: I think they're the waiter. And then I go, um,

936
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:20,839
Speaker 1: oh can I order? Oh wait, you're the bus boy?

937
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 1: Oh is the waiter? Can I talk to you? No?

938
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 1: Neverbody English, I have no offense. And they're just kind

939
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 1: of looking at you blankly and you go, um, you know, well,

940
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:33,840
Speaker 1: I'll just wait, and it's just yeah, it's awkward, but

941
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 1: that is that's interesting good to know. In Mexico, if

942
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 1: you cancel your order, it's they're eating the cost and

943
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 1: maybe they're eating your order. Who knows. I'm in a

944
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 1: Miami right now. Um. I couldn't sleep last night. I

945
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 1: didn't get to bed till six am. I don't know

946
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 1: what is wrong with me. I am I need to

947
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:54,960
Speaker 1: start telling my sleep because it's just not there's not

948
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 1: enough and I don't know what. I had caffeine yesterday,

949
00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 1: I think that was the thing, but I needed caffeine.

950
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 1: This is the paradox of caffeine. You need it because

951
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 1: you're tired to go to the event they have to

952
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 1: be on for, and then you drink a little too much.

953
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:08,640
Speaker 1: And then the second you get are done with the

954
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 1: event and it's time to go sleep, sleep, you cannot.

955
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 1: And so I gotta not do caffeine anymore. I'm going

956
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:16,600
Speaker 1: to Um, I haven't. I usually don't do it. I

957
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:19,799
Speaker 1: get Decaflottes every day, but I had some yesterday because

958
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 1: I went to the Oscar party here in Miami, the

959
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 1: Vanity Fair Oscar party. Wouldn't haven't been invited the Vanity

960
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:30,320
Speaker 1: Fair Oscar party in LA but Miami I was. It

961
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:34,880
Speaker 1: was hosted by Zeoman, which is like a injectable thing

962
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 1: that I did a sponsorship for. And um yeah, went

963
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:41,760
Speaker 1: to this like hoaity twity event, got full hair and makeup,

964
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:45,839
Speaker 1: and flew here after Buffalo my friend Robin and Jenner

965
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:48,759
Speaker 1: here we went out afterwards, um the Oscars. I could

966
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 1: barely listen because we were at this party and it

967
00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 1: would play and everyone's talking. I think Kimmel killed it.

968
00:49:55,120 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 1: Kimmel is just so good, you know, and we've seen

969
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 1: him get good. I remember watching him on The Man Show.

970
00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 1: He used to host Wind Benstein's Money Like he went

971
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:08,919
Speaker 1: from being this like affable, chummy guy. He was always good.

972
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 1: But he's just so, you know, the best kind of performers.

973
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:16,320
Speaker 1: They just make you feel like you're in good hands.

974
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 1: You're not nervous for them. It's the They're a Greyhound

975
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 1: bus driver that you know has gotten a lot of sleep.

976
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 1: He's been doing this forever. You don't worry. Like whenever

977
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:26,320
Speaker 1: I got on a bus, I'm always worried. That's overnight.

978
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:28,279
Speaker 1: I worry about the bus driver falling asleep. I can't

979
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 1: I can't sleep because I'm worried, and I have to

980
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:31,840
Speaker 1: look at him like Brian watching the Possum. I'm like

981
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:34,400
Speaker 1: constantly checking in, like is his head nodding off. I

982
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 1: have no comfort in a bus situation. Ever, when I

983
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:40,239
Speaker 1: went on the Bert Chrysher tour, I had panic and

984
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:44,800
Speaker 1: I had my assistant call Bert's assistance to ask about

985
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 1: the bus driver situation. How many hours if they were

986
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:50,840
Speaker 1: like you know, unionize, like if they're rules about how

987
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:52,880
Speaker 1: many hours they can ride, because I know they'll push it.

988
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,200
Speaker 1: They'll take a couple of five hour energies, smoke some

989
00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 1: meth get through the night. I wanted like to make

990
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 1: sure I know what they do out there. And truck

991
00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:03,480
Speaker 1: drivers it's very dangerous, Like it's a dangerous job and

992
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,959
Speaker 1: they got at they that is something that you would

993
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:09,759
Speaker 1: deep dive into the light of truck drivers. Well, I

994
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 1: can't deep dive too much because I will never sleep

995
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 1: again because they're all on no sleep and I just

996
00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 1: worry about their mental health less than them falling asleep

997
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 1: on the road. I'm just like every time I saw

998
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:21,120
Speaker 1: a truck driver, then I will have a bleeding heart

999
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 1: of like you're not getting enough sleep, which is me

1000
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:28,320
Speaker 1: just like really obviously projecting constantly all over everyone. But

1001
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:32,719
Speaker 1: um so Kimmel though, Like I always talk about this

1002
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:34,920
Speaker 1: when people are like you're such a good comedian or

1003
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,520
Speaker 1: like what's the secret, It's like getting on stage enough

1004
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 1: so that you being funny is one part. Is a

1005
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:43,360
Speaker 1: huge part of it, no questions asked, Like writing jokes,

1006
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:45,040
Speaker 1: and that comes with time, but that can also come

1007
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:49,080
Speaker 1: with writers. That can also come with people helping you,

1008
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:52,320
Speaker 1: like you know, like like we were talking about, I go,

1009
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:54,560
Speaker 1: how does this world exist? How does he know about

1010
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 1: tank engines? And Chris. It's like he just the writer,

1011
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 1: calls up people that know about tank engines and then

1012
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:02,600
Speaker 1: he gets information and I'm like, okay, so comedians can

1013
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 1: use writers. But that confidence that you have on stage

1014
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 1: that you are the bus driver that isn't going to

1015
00:52:08,239 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 1: fall asleep, Like Kimmel walks out and you go, he's

1016
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:13,439
Speaker 1: got this. Someone could run up on stage. Shit could

1017
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:17,439
Speaker 1: happen this, a light could fall down, you know, Lady

1018
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:20,719
Speaker 1: Gaga could start like having a seizure and Kimmel is

1019
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:22,480
Speaker 1: going to handle it. You know what I'm saying, Like

1020
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:26,160
Speaker 1: we're safe, and not all hosts can do that. I mean,

1021
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 1: I I don't think I have that kind of calm.

1022
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:30,759
Speaker 1: And that's what I always try to do at the

1023
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 1: beginning of my shows is like try to make everyone

1024
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:36,399
Speaker 1: feel like we're in good hands, because generally with stand

1025
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:39,880
Speaker 1: up comedy, you everyone in the crowd is thinking I

1026
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 1: could never do that. Not everyone, but I would say

1027
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:46,200
Speaker 1: the dates of the have my mega fans who are like,

1028
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:49,200
Speaker 1: we know what she's capable of, and we love comedy

1029
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 1: and we come to comedy shows all the time. We

1030
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:52,319
Speaker 1: know how this works. And then there's their date they

1031
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:54,680
Speaker 1: brought that doesn't go to comedy shows and their date,

1032
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:57,239
Speaker 1: whether it's a guy or girl, is thinking, oh my god,

1033
00:52:57,239 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 1: I could never do that. That would be so scary.

1034
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:01,840
Speaker 1: I'd be so nervous. And then they project that onto you,

1035
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:06,800
Speaker 1: and you need to instantly give them like the feeling

1036
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:10,680
Speaker 1: you're okay, everything's fine, we all. That's why in America

1037
00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:13,359
Speaker 1: it's so fucking crazy that shows start with an MC

1038
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:17,160
Speaker 1: who is the least experienced on the show. That's why

1039
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 1: I introduced my own shows like from the backstage, because

1040
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, I want a voice of like calm and

1041
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 1: not that on you. You're a consummate professional, You're never

1042
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 1: you're You're someone who makes everyone feel relaxed, even more

1043
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:30,840
Speaker 1: so than me. Sometimes I watch you on stage and

1044
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, the way she handled that last week

1045
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,480
Speaker 1: she handled a heck. This past weekend, she handled a Hecklert.

1046
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:38,280
Speaker 1: It was so funny and so good and so present.

1047
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:42,120
Speaker 1: But um, yeah, Kim Will just makes you feel that way.

1048
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:44,359
Speaker 1: And his I just want to when we come back

1049
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:45,600
Speaker 1: from break, I want to go over a couple of

1050
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:47,880
Speaker 1: the jokes that I really enjoyed from his monologue, and um,

1051
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:50,480
Speaker 1: maybe talk about some Oscar moments. Brian, I'm guessing you

1052
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:54,919
Speaker 1: watched it. Did I did not? You did not? Okay,

1053
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:59,399
Speaker 1: on your watch, I did. I'm a single belief. Okay, Okay,

1054
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:00,839
Speaker 1: Well we'll talk about what we get back. We'll talk

1055
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:02,239
Speaker 1: about what we did it watch when we get back.

1056
00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the show, guys. I'm on tour, not

1057
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:10,279
Speaker 1: this next weekend. I have one weekend off, but not

1058
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 1: really because I'm going to DC to watch Chris's Adam

1059
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:17,759
Speaker 1: Sandler Mark Twain Prize thing this weekend. That'll be fun.

1060
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:21,279
Speaker 1: So I'm off. But am I really off? Full there

1061
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:25,440
Speaker 1: and makeup travel. I sort of got every weekend that

1062
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:28,320
Speaker 1: I'm off, there's something else going on. Even though I

1063
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:30,160
Speaker 1: want to do this and I'm not having to be on,

1064
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 1: it's like you can't. You can't get any time off.

1065
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:34,719
Speaker 1: But it's gonna be awesome. Please watch the Mark Twain

1066
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:36,720
Speaker 1: Prize when that airs on CNN. I don't know exactly

1067
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:38,400
Speaker 1: when it's at the end of the month, but um

1068
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:42,759
Speaker 1: I'm coming to the Pacific Northwest next next week, the

1069
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:44,719
Speaker 1: twenty fourth and twenty fifth, Friday and Saturday. I'll be

1070
00:54:44,760 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 1: in Spokane, Washington with on your Marina and m Eugene

1071
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:52,399
Speaker 1: Organ on Saturday, So come out to those shows if

1072
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:54,880
Speaker 1: you want. We had a great time with Bessie's this

1073
00:54:54,960 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: past weekend in Rochester, Buffalo and itic Um, so that

1074
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:05,560
Speaker 1: would be so fun. The Oscars. I loved Kimmel's joke

1075
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:10,319
Speaker 1: about um ozempicum. He's like, I can't help but look

1076
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 1: around the room and think ozempic might work for me.

1077
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,560
Speaker 1: I just loved that. Is one of my favorite joke

1078
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:19,359
Speaker 1: deliveries of just you read it, you know exactly how

1079
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 1: to deliver it. It made me want to host the

1080
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 1: Oscars so bad his jokes because they were just you

1081
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:27,359
Speaker 1: don't have to do a singing dance billy crystal thing.

1082
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:30,360
Speaker 1: I'm like, I want to host an event like this

1083
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:32,800
Speaker 1: and just have like scathing jokes that just kind of

1084
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:36,440
Speaker 1: tow the line. He said something about um, Tom Cruise

1085
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 1: looking hot, and he was like, l ron, hubba hubba,

1086
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:41,719
Speaker 1: Like he said something he made a little dig about

1087
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:45,879
Speaker 1: scientific No, no, of course not, because Tom Cruise can't

1088
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:48,200
Speaker 1: go anywhere where scientology might be mocked. I mean that

1089
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:50,279
Speaker 1: is essentially why I think he wasn't there, even though

1090
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:54,480
Speaker 1: Maverick was, you know, um nominated. And then of course

1091
00:55:54,520 --> 00:55:56,560
Speaker 1: he talked about the Will Smith thing. He made a

1092
00:55:56,640 --> 00:56:00,799
Speaker 1: joke about, um, there's so many Irish people. His first

1093
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:03,160
Speaker 1: dig at it was there's so many Irish people dominated

1094
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:04,920
Speaker 1: that like this is the year where there's going to

1095
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 1: be a brawl on stage, Like it's gonna get really

1096
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:09,880
Speaker 1: something about that, and then he made another comment about

1097
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:13,759
Speaker 1: you know if you, oh, he goes, guys, this year,

1098
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:16,880
Speaker 1: there is a there's a plan in place if anyone

1099
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:20,720
Speaker 1: assaults anyone else, just do exactly what you did last year. Nothing,

1100
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:23,759
Speaker 1: do nothing. And then oh no, he goes. If no,

1101
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:27,280
Speaker 1: he goes, if anyone comes up here and assaults anyone,

1102
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:31,719
Speaker 1: we will immediately give you a Best Actor win and

1103
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:35,000
Speaker 1: let you do a nineteen minute long speech. And he's like,

1104
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:37,440
Speaker 1: just do nothing. He goes, No, even don't even try

1105
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:39,880
Speaker 1: it this week or this year. And then he just

1106
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 1: listed all the people that will like fight for him,

1107
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:44,719
Speaker 1: like that are there. He's like, I have Spider Man here,

1108
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:46,400
Speaker 1: and they zoom in on Andrew Garfield and he's like,

1109
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:48,440
Speaker 1: I got you know, and he's going through all of them.

1110
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:51,239
Speaker 1: It was fun, it was it was a nice acknowledgement

1111
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 1: and there was I think a couple of other digs

1112
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:57,839
Speaker 1: throughout the show. He said this, Oh, you know, last

1113
00:56:57,920 --> 00:57:02,759
Speaker 1: year the slap happened during the documentary film uh announcement,

1114
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:04,800
Speaker 1: and so this year he was like, and not to

1115
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:08,360
Speaker 1: announce you know the best documentary. Um, this was the

1116
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 1: time where we had some issue last year. Let's hope

1117
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:13,640
Speaker 1: this time it goes off without a hitch or without hitch,

1118
00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:16,760
Speaker 1: which was played hitch. I thought that was a good line.

1119
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:19,400
Speaker 1: So a lot of fun jokes last night. I didn't

1120
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:22,480
Speaker 1: really see the speeches. I guess Jamie Lee Curtis won. Um,

1121
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:25,320
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was there any moments on you

1122
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:28,840
Speaker 1: you watched it, did you did you care about anything?

1123
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:33,360
Speaker 1: I like really tuned in at like eight oh seven

1124
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:35,960
Speaker 1: or something. I was a little late, and I just immediately, well,

1125
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:38,360
Speaker 1: I'm I love the Oscars. I've always loved him. I'm

1126
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:41,720
Speaker 1: like Chris and Brian watching Game of Thrones. It has

1127
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 1: to be quiet, like knowing a reference and you don't

1128
00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:48,720
Speaker 1: go to oscar parties. No, I I loved it. I

1129
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:50,920
Speaker 1: just watched it alone for like an hour, and then

1130
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:53,000
Speaker 1: Matt came down with a big bowl of popcorn and

1131
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:57,200
Speaker 1: reluctantly watched it with me. But yeah, I wept when

1132
00:57:57,520 --> 00:58:02,600
Speaker 1: um kay who que or whatever one best, supporting for

1133
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:05,760
Speaker 1: everything everywhere, all at once. He was like, this is great.

1134
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:07,800
Speaker 1: He was so excited. He was just like talking about

1135
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:10,680
Speaker 1: being from an immigrant family and how he's like, I'm

1136
00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:13,439
Speaker 1: living the American dream. Plus I had watched a clip

1137
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:15,880
Speaker 1: of his that was viral where he was like, I

1138
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:18,880
Speaker 1: could not get medical insurance two years ago because it

1139
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 1: was a pandemic, couldn't get anywhere. And now it's like

1140
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:24,160
Speaker 1: he got nominated for an Oscar and then one he

1141
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:26,920
Speaker 1: was just so grateful, sorry for joy, and it was

1142
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:31,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be cynical. That's this isn't the American dream.

1143
00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:35,760
Speaker 1: This is not possible. There's not any Most people from

1144
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:38,480
Speaker 1: immigrant families that come to the US or you know,

1145
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:42,760
Speaker 1: will never have this opportunity. It's one one in a billion,

1146
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:46,160
Speaker 1: almost like it's it's probably one in five hundred million

1147
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:49,320
Speaker 1: at least to even get a chance to ever be

1148
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:52,440
Speaker 1: in a movie and get this level success. He won

1149
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:55,760
Speaker 1: a lottery. This isn't. This is not a dream that

1150
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,880
Speaker 1: America offers anyone. It is. It maybe used to be,

1151
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:04,040
Speaker 1: it's not any more. It's but America loves this presentation

1152
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:05,480
Speaker 1: of like you can come here and this can be

1153
00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:08,800
Speaker 1: your life. It's not gonna be. We're probably going to

1154
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 1: offer a better life than wherever you came from. There's

1155
00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:13,400
Speaker 1: no denying that in a lot of cases. But I

1156
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:18,160
Speaker 1: don't like this thing of like that this could happen

1157
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 1: to anyone else like like that, And I don't like

1158
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:25,520
Speaker 1: and I don't like people to claim that they worked

1159
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:28,520
Speaker 1: hard for something. I don't like it anymore because I

1160
00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:31,640
Speaker 1: don't claim I work hard for things. Yes I do,

1161
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:33,360
Speaker 1: but I got lucky because I was born with a

1162
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:36,800
Speaker 1: brain that worked hard. Everything is luck. None of this

1163
00:59:36,960 --> 00:59:40,520
Speaker 1: really matters. I you know, I'm cynical about these shows.

1164
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:42,320
Speaker 1: When I went to the critics Choice, I was like

1165
00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:46,680
Speaker 1: had a existential crisis of like, everyone in this room

1166
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:50,920
Speaker 1: is playing dress up. This is embarrassing. Everyone in here

1167
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,840
Speaker 1: thinks they did something special when they were just probably

1168
00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:56,640
Speaker 1: either born with parents that were rich and supportive or

1169
00:59:57,640 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 1: mine too, My parents were financially supportive of me, Like,

1170
01:00:01,480 --> 01:00:04,600
Speaker 1: and they were born with a talent, Like we should

1171
01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:06,919
Speaker 1: just celebrate, like you were lucky enough to be born

1172
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:09,919
Speaker 1: with this talent. We can do that, but don't act

1173
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:13,479
Speaker 1: like anyone's man made or self made. I just don't

1174
01:00:13,520 --> 01:00:17,280
Speaker 1: buy it. And I don't buy people that America lucky

1175
01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:21,720
Speaker 1: people like I don't. I think this is really suits

1176
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:23,720
Speaker 1: the narrative we would like to say for the immigrant

1177
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 1: experience of like you can make it, No you can't, No,

1178
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:30,120
Speaker 1: you can't. Odds are you're not. Definitely think that's true.

1179
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:34,680
Speaker 1: That's definitely true of casting. Like if if you think

1180
01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:38,560
Speaker 1: that you got cast in a role because you were

1181
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:42,800
Speaker 1: the best one, you're wrong. It's there was forty people

1182
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:46,120
Speaker 1: who were the best one, and out of those forty

1183
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:49,840
Speaker 1: one of them was randomly selected, essentially based on some

1184
01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:53,720
Speaker 1: weird thing that a casting director had. It. Oh, I

1185
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:57,520
Speaker 1: saw they had they drank an orange juice. Yes, how

1186
01:00:57,560 --> 01:00:59,040
Speaker 1: do you do you always hear the stories of how

1187
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:01,440
Speaker 1: people are casting. It's like I had seen him in

1188
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:05,400
Speaker 1: this production of this one show, like it's or you know,

1189
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 1: you're right, Like I saw the way he drank. He

1190
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:10,080
Speaker 1: brought in an orange juice into the audition, and I

1191
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 1: like the way he didn't cap his orange juice, and

1192
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 1: it really spoke to the character. And it's just like

1193
01:01:14,520 --> 01:01:16,760
Speaker 1: that was just a random fucking thing that happened. Or

1194
01:01:17,200 --> 01:01:20,680
Speaker 1: she gave a blowjob, or she gave the sorry, she

1195
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:23,760
Speaker 1: gave the idea that she might blow you someday. Do

1196
01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:27,959
Speaker 1: you know any actresses you know about because they fucked someone? Really?

1197
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:30,880
Speaker 1: And I'm not talking about like old timing. You know

1198
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:35,000
Speaker 1: most of your favorite actresses have done sexual favors for

1199
01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:39,320
Speaker 1: the stuff, and maybe not most. I would say way

1200
01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:42,480
Speaker 1: more than you think your favorite actresses to the four

1201
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:45,600
Speaker 1: people here, I'm not kidding. I do you think I

1202
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:49,200
Speaker 1: know that I've gotten roles because or opportunities because men

1203
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:51,240
Speaker 1: have wanted to fuck me. I know it. I haven't

1204
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:53,560
Speaker 1: fucked them. That's not me being like I'm better than that.

1205
01:01:53,880 --> 01:01:55,720
Speaker 1: If I was a different person, I would have fucked them.

1206
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:57,800
Speaker 1: I don't blame you for fucking someone for a role.

1207
01:01:57,800 --> 01:01:59,320
Speaker 1: If you think that you're talented enough and the only

1208
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:01,040
Speaker 1: way you're gonna get at it is to fuck someone

1209
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:02,520
Speaker 1: and you don't care about sucking them, is not going

1210
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:05,520
Speaker 1: to really like affect your bottom line as a human being.

1211
01:02:06,080 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 1: Do it? I don't care it. You know. I'm not

1212
01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:16,640
Speaker 1: trying to be um controversial here or accusatory or I'm

1213
01:02:16,680 --> 01:02:19,160
Speaker 1: just saying it like it is, Like the reason people

1214
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:22,120
Speaker 1: get things is not because they're talented most of the time,

1215
01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:24,280
Speaker 1: and the reason they're talented is not because they worked

1216
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:27,000
Speaker 1: harder or because they're better than you. It's just they

1217
01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 1: were born with this talent. And I think the Oscars,

1218
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:34,200
Speaker 1: just like I think the Olympics, is cool because it

1219
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:38,680
Speaker 1: is a meritocracy, you know, like you're the you. There's

1220
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:41,400
Speaker 1: no nepotism in athletics. There might be a little bit,

1221
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:43,000
Speaker 1: like you might get your son into the right kind

1222
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:45,240
Speaker 1: of camps that make him train better and then but

1223
01:02:45,360 --> 01:02:47,400
Speaker 1: you gotta be fucking good. You gotta run fast, you

1224
01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:49,240
Speaker 1: gotta be a good player, you gotta have a good arm.

1225
01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:53,120
Speaker 1: Do you agree? Am I wrong? Well, it's no, you're

1226
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:55,280
Speaker 1: not wrong. It's just that there are certain countries that

1227
01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:58,280
Speaker 1: are able to have the facilities and the and the

1228
01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:01,280
Speaker 1: money and the exposable income disposal income to put people.

1229
01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:04,160
Speaker 1: That's why America America isn't the most athletic nation in

1230
01:03:04,240 --> 01:03:07,000
Speaker 1: the world. It's not like we genetically have all the

1231
01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:09,400
Speaker 1: athletes and that's why we win all the medals. It's

1232
01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:13,040
Speaker 1: because we have so much income. Yeah, we just take

1233
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:15,040
Speaker 1: someone when they're three years old and we put them

1234
01:03:15,080 --> 01:03:17,440
Speaker 1: in a pool and we make them swim, and we

1235
01:03:17,640 --> 01:03:19,919
Speaker 1: pay for everything they could ever want. There's a book

1236
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:23,760
Speaker 1: you gotta read Nikki the talent code. I know the

1237
01:03:23,880 --> 01:03:26,000
Speaker 1: talent code. You got me the talent code, and that

1238
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:29,040
Speaker 1: is what everything I mean that took me from that

1239
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:32,680
Speaker 1: got me into like there's no free will. Everyonce is

1240
01:03:32,760 --> 01:03:36,320
Speaker 1: Beyonce because of first of all, she has an inborn talent.

1241
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:38,560
Speaker 1: She was born with like the right kind of structure

1242
01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 1: in her head to produce that sound, the right vocal chords,

1243
01:03:41,240 --> 01:03:43,600
Speaker 1: everything is working. So she was born with it. It

1244
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:46,720
Speaker 1: wasn't something she invented or she created. And then she

1245
01:03:46,960 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 1: trained from the day she was probably singing and training

1246
01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:53,040
Speaker 1: since she was two. And I'm not joking, and she

1247
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:56,080
Speaker 1: went to there's a lot of talent that comes out

1248
01:03:56,080 --> 01:03:58,680
Speaker 1: of exactly where she went to went to go train.

1249
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:01,320
Speaker 1: She's the best out of all of that. But she

1250
01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:04,040
Speaker 1: she didn't come out of nowhere. I didn't come out

1251
01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:06,240
Speaker 1: of nowhere. People think like, you're so good, and I

1252
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:09,200
Speaker 1: go because I've been doing it for twenty some odd years.

1253
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:11,920
Speaker 1: I'm coming up on the twentieth anniversary. I think of

1254
01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:15,640
Speaker 1: doing stand up March twelfth, what's the date right now? Oh? Yesterday?

1255
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:22,200
Speaker 1: Weary that it was marched like twelfth or three? It

1256
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:24,080
Speaker 1: may it might have been March thirteenth, So this might

1257
01:04:24,120 --> 01:04:26,880
Speaker 1: be it, but um, it was the first time I

1258
01:04:26,920 --> 01:04:28,240
Speaker 1: went on stage and then I took a break. But

1259
01:04:28,320 --> 01:04:31,080
Speaker 1: I mean, like that's why I'm good, it's not and

1260
01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:33,600
Speaker 1: because yes, I'll say it's because I'm quick, and like

1261
01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:36,080
Speaker 1: my brain is. I'm smarter than a lot of people.

1262
01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:38,320
Speaker 1: There's no doubt about that I have. I'm smart. I'm not.

1263
01:04:38,680 --> 01:04:40,440
Speaker 1: I'm there are money people that are smarter than me.

1264
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:44,240
Speaker 1: But I didn't make my smartness. You didn't make your

1265
01:04:44,360 --> 01:04:47,320
Speaker 1: legs that made you a fast runner. You have those,

1266
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:50,000
Speaker 1: you can train properly. We all think we're in control

1267
01:04:50,040 --> 01:04:52,400
Speaker 1: of it. But the talent code is fascinating because that

1268
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:56,120
Speaker 1: is what got me on the controversial take of anyone

1269
01:04:56,160 --> 01:04:58,080
Speaker 1: could be a comedian if they want to be. Anyone

1270
01:04:58,120 --> 01:05:00,320
Speaker 1: could be anything they want to be. It's just about

1271
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:02,160
Speaker 1: how many hours you devote to it and how young

1272
01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:05,760
Speaker 1: you intercept them. That's why China's good at gymnastics. They steal,

1273
01:05:05,840 --> 01:05:08,200
Speaker 1: They robbed girls of their childhood, much like we do.

1274
01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:11,240
Speaker 1: I mean, I remember when Kursten got really good at gymnastics.

1275
01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:13,040
Speaker 1: We were like doing gymnastics at the same time. She

1276
01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:14,960
Speaker 1: was always better than me. More inclined, just has the

1277
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,800
Speaker 1: body for it, born with it, not taking anything from her,

1278
01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:21,680
Speaker 1: but she is. And she started going up the levels

1279
01:05:21,760 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 1: and then suddenly when she was like at competitive level,

1280
01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:27,560
Speaker 1: bye bye Kirstin. No more hang out because you have

1281
01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:30,040
Speaker 1: to go to the gym for four hours after school

1282
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:33,680
Speaker 1: every single day. And it was like and she got

1283
01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:36,560
Speaker 1: Thankfully she got out of it before high school really

1284
01:05:36,640 --> 01:05:38,680
Speaker 1: kicked into gear because she would have had no experience

1285
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:41,320
Speaker 1: except to that one, which isn't not an experience. You

1286
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:44,000
Speaker 1: have friends there and you have the social life there

1287
01:05:44,320 --> 01:05:47,120
Speaker 1: that becomes something, but it wouldn't have it. It's a

1288
01:05:47,240 --> 01:05:50,080
Speaker 1: huge sacrifice that these people make. It's so so rare

1289
01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:52,960
Speaker 1: that you know, you see videos sometimes of like an

1290
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:55,280
Speaker 1: autistic girl just like going up to a piano and

1291
01:05:55,400 --> 01:05:57,800
Speaker 1: just playing a Bach concerto and she's blind and her

1292
01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:00,680
Speaker 1: head is spinning around and she just like ever practice it.

1293
01:06:00,760 --> 01:06:03,640
Speaker 1: She heard it one time. That is something we don't

1294
01:06:03,720 --> 01:06:08,720
Speaker 1: understand yet. But that is also something that she couldn't control. Like, no, one,

1295
01:06:09,120 --> 01:06:11,920
Speaker 1: don't stop giving people credit for being talented. We can

1296
01:06:11,960 --> 01:06:15,720
Speaker 1: give them credit for being lucky. And that's but I

1297
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:18,919
Speaker 1: remember dat Fan who won last Comic Standing the first

1298
01:06:18,920 --> 01:06:21,880
Speaker 1: season he came. He shouldn't have won. He had literally

1299
01:06:22,040 --> 01:06:25,120
Speaker 1: ten minutes of comedy at tops. He won the first

1300
01:06:25,120 --> 01:06:29,000
Speaker 1: season he came to KU to perform. I would just

1301
01:06:29,080 --> 01:06:31,680
Speaker 1: start a comedy like a year before I went to

1302
01:06:31,760 --> 01:06:34,200
Speaker 1: go see him. I'm front row. I'm so excited. He's

1303
01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:37,240
Speaker 1: not good, he's mediocre whatever. Most of his show was

1304
01:06:37,280 --> 01:06:39,560
Speaker 1: like a real We watched of him on the show,

1305
01:06:40,040 --> 01:06:41,320
Speaker 1: and then he did a Q and A. I mean,

1306
01:06:41,360 --> 01:06:43,120
Speaker 1: these are all tricks I know to fill time. Now,

1307
01:06:43,240 --> 01:06:45,280
Speaker 1: you like start with a video, you do your act,

1308
01:06:45,360 --> 01:06:47,320
Speaker 1: then you end with a Q and A. You did

1309
01:06:47,320 --> 01:06:48,840
Speaker 1: a Q and A. I raised my hand and I go,

1310
01:06:49,320 --> 01:06:51,360
Speaker 1: how does it feel to be like so lucky to

1311
01:06:51,480 --> 01:06:56,360
Speaker 1: have won that show? Because he was against like Rich

1312
01:06:56,480 --> 01:07:00,280
Speaker 1: Voss and like Todd Glass, Ralphie May, Like there were

1313
01:07:00,320 --> 01:07:03,160
Speaker 1: people in place I forget exactly the makeup of he

1314
01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:04,800
Speaker 1: shouldn't have won. Just like when I was on Last

1315
01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:07,760
Speaker 1: Time Standing, I was lucky. I was at five minutes

1316
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:10,520
Speaker 1: of comedy. So many people were better than me. And

1317
01:07:10,640 --> 01:07:12,640
Speaker 1: I said that, and I will never forget. I go,

1318
01:07:13,240 --> 01:07:16,080
Speaker 1: how lucky are you to have you? How do you

1319
01:07:16,160 --> 01:07:18,560
Speaker 1: feel so grateful? And that you like I said something

1320
01:07:18,560 --> 01:07:21,160
Speaker 1: about luck and he goes luck had nothing to do

1321
01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:24,560
Speaker 1: with it, and I was just like, he got so mad,

1322
01:07:25,240 --> 01:07:28,000
Speaker 1: and it's like, dude, everything is luck. I mean more

1323
01:07:28,040 --> 01:07:30,520
Speaker 1: so than I even knew at the time. But certainly

1324
01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:32,880
Speaker 1: for him to win that show, it was just luck

1325
01:07:33,360 --> 01:07:35,960
Speaker 1: that he was in the right place at the right time.

1326
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:39,880
Speaker 1: But people hate that because they want final thought. People

1327
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:42,680
Speaker 1: hate to have luck as the thing because it's not

1328
01:07:42,800 --> 01:07:44,680
Speaker 1: in your control and everyone wants control and to be

1329
01:07:44,680 --> 01:07:46,560
Speaker 1: able to go No, I earned that. I did that

1330
01:07:46,640 --> 01:07:48,760
Speaker 1: because I'm smart, And it's like, well, you got lucky

1331
01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:51,360
Speaker 1: that you were born with parents by parents who were

1332
01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:53,400
Speaker 1: smart and they gave you some of their genetic smartness.

1333
01:07:53,480 --> 01:07:56,720
Speaker 1: It's not you're just lucky. But then at the same time,

1334
01:07:56,800 --> 01:08:01,480
Speaker 1: I've noticed people who, you know, I'm something. When I

1335
01:08:01,520 --> 01:08:03,640
Speaker 1: started getting things in my career, people always used to go,

1336
01:08:03,760 --> 01:08:05,960
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you're getting this. You deserve it, you

1337
01:08:06,160 --> 01:08:10,640
Speaker 1: work hard. And it really bothered me because people were

1338
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:13,800
Speaker 1: excusing my talent as she just got that because she

1339
01:08:13,880 --> 01:08:17,640
Speaker 1: worked hard, Like she's not born with it, she's not

1340
01:08:17,720 --> 01:08:20,200
Speaker 1: a natural, she just got it because she worked hard.

1341
01:08:20,520 --> 01:08:22,639
Speaker 1: And then there are people who don't work hard, who

1342
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:25,479
Speaker 1: are just naturals who hate when people go you're a

1343
01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:27,880
Speaker 1: natural and they go no, because I got this because

1344
01:08:27,880 --> 01:08:30,840
Speaker 1: I worked hard. So no matter what you get credit for,

1345
01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:34,200
Speaker 1: I realize you want the other one. It's always greener

1346
01:08:34,280 --> 01:08:36,639
Speaker 1: on the other side of the I can't control it street,

1347
01:08:36,960 --> 01:08:39,760
Speaker 1: which because we're always looking for something that like, no,

1348
01:08:40,120 --> 01:08:45,360
Speaker 1: I did this, Brian thoughts. Yeah, it's like being a

1349
01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:48,640
Speaker 1: musician or a comedian or an athlete. It's like, if

1350
01:08:48,680 --> 01:08:50,800
Speaker 1: you're an athlete, you want to do comedy. If you're

1351
01:08:50,840 --> 01:08:53,760
Speaker 1: a musician, you want to be an athlete, and if

1352
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:56,760
Speaker 1: you're a comedian, you want to be Did I say

1353
01:08:56,760 --> 01:09:02,960
Speaker 1: that already what I said? Yeah? Yeah, No, it's true

1354
01:09:03,680 --> 01:09:07,080
Speaker 1: everyone wants to be But do you believe Do you

1355
01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:09,120
Speaker 1: believe in free will? Are you on the no free

1356
01:09:09,160 --> 01:09:13,519
Speaker 1: will train yet? Um? I believe that the universe is

1357
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:16,679
Speaker 1: random chaos and this is a charade that is leading

1358
01:09:16,720 --> 01:09:19,560
Speaker 1: towards nothing. But I also think that we do have

1359
01:09:19,800 --> 01:09:23,920
Speaker 1: some we have some agency over what occurs, and I

1360
01:09:24,320 --> 01:09:28,240
Speaker 1: really do think that the decisions you make today will

1361
01:09:28,320 --> 01:09:32,080
Speaker 1: affect what happens three five years from now. Yeah, butterfly

1362
01:09:32,160 --> 01:09:36,960
Speaker 1: effect like yes, yeah, little things, yeah, totally, Like like

1363
01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:39,679
Speaker 1: I went out of my way to release that possum,

1364
01:09:40,040 --> 01:09:42,640
Speaker 1: and maybe on a couple of weeks, I'll read a

1365
01:09:42,680 --> 01:09:46,439
Speaker 1: story in the news that says like local possum eats baby,

1366
01:09:46,800 --> 01:09:50,719
Speaker 1: and I'll feel terrible about it. That's just what starving.

1367
01:09:51,439 --> 01:09:56,280
Speaker 1: We don't against natural instincts in the mountain. Yes, we

1368
01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:58,680
Speaker 1: just don't know what effects we're going to have, and

1369
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:01,400
Speaker 1: that's where the luck comes. It's like hopefully the because

1370
01:10:01,400 --> 01:10:02,960
Speaker 1: you don't know. It's like gambling. It's like, oh, I

1371
01:10:03,040 --> 01:10:05,400
Speaker 1: think Anthony Davis is going to get forty points today.

1372
01:10:05,720 --> 01:10:08,040
Speaker 1: It's like it might feel like that's the right decision

1373
01:10:08,120 --> 01:10:10,080
Speaker 1: when you place the bet, but then he gets ten

1374
01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:12,640
Speaker 1: points and you lose two thousand dollars. Then you're like

1375
01:10:13,439 --> 01:10:16,320
Speaker 1: psychic thing of people going like I just had a feeling.

1376
01:10:16,720 --> 01:10:18,920
Speaker 1: I just everyone loves to say that of like I

1377
01:10:19,280 --> 01:10:22,160
Speaker 1: just knew, Like when we were playing that psychic game

1378
01:10:22,240 --> 01:10:25,960
Speaker 1: on the girls Trip, Anya, Yeah, it just like made

1379
01:10:26,120 --> 01:10:29,000
Speaker 1: it irritated me so much how everyone didn't see the

1380
01:10:29,120 --> 01:10:32,000
Speaker 1: mind games that were being played. Like we all wrote down,

1381
01:10:32,280 --> 01:10:34,000
Speaker 1: so Brian, we got together on this Girl's Trip, we

1382
01:10:34,080 --> 01:10:36,200
Speaker 1: all wrote down like a word on a piece of

1383
01:10:36,280 --> 01:10:38,560
Speaker 1: paper and then we crump like whatever word, just like

1384
01:10:38,640 --> 01:10:40,400
Speaker 1: we just like the first word that comes to your mind,

1385
01:10:40,439 --> 01:10:42,240
Speaker 1: whatever pops in your head, which I think is an

1386
01:10:42,280 --> 01:10:44,320
Speaker 1: example of no free will because you don't control what

1387
01:10:44,439 --> 01:10:46,439
Speaker 1: thought pops up. It just does. And it was a

1388
01:10:46,479 --> 01:10:48,479
Speaker 1: perfect example of that. So you write down, write down

1389
01:10:48,520 --> 01:10:50,120
Speaker 1: all these words, we crumble them up, We put him

1390
01:10:50,120 --> 01:10:52,840
Speaker 1: too a thing. And then we each have a question

1391
01:10:52,960 --> 01:10:55,200
Speaker 1: in our lives, and we asked the question aloud, like

1392
01:10:55,360 --> 01:10:58,400
Speaker 1: what should I do about this my future? It could

1393
01:10:58,439 --> 01:11:00,280
Speaker 1: be as you know, vague as that. And then you

1394
01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:02,640
Speaker 1: open the thing and it would say volcano and we

1395
01:11:02,720 --> 01:11:07,880
Speaker 1: would go, that means that you are spewing creativity soon

1396
01:11:08,479 --> 01:11:11,800
Speaker 1: and that it was like tarot card reading. Yeah, you

1397
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:14,960
Speaker 1: just project what you want onto it, which is fun

1398
01:11:15,080 --> 01:11:17,040
Speaker 1: and it's a good way to interpret life. But I don't,

1399
01:11:18,080 --> 01:11:22,080
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know that there's really um although

1400
01:11:22,320 --> 01:11:24,280
Speaker 1: I will say that the you know, we talk about

1401
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:26,880
Speaker 1: the astrological sign thing on here in like astrology a

1402
01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:29,720
Speaker 1: lot and how I think it's probably bullshit, but you know,

1403
01:11:29,760 --> 01:11:32,240
Speaker 1: who cares. It's fine if it's not harming anyone. It's

1404
01:11:32,280 --> 01:11:34,839
Speaker 1: not like religion. It doesn't seem to be like organizing

1405
01:11:34,920 --> 01:11:37,200
Speaker 1: people to hate other people, even though it kind of

1406
01:11:37,360 --> 01:11:40,120
Speaker 1: is when people are like any scorpios, I'm not working

1407
01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:44,880
Speaker 1: with you, a gay j Loo fired. Yeah, but we

1408
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:47,639
Speaker 1: did a thing where you know all that on Instagram,

1409
01:11:47,760 --> 01:11:52,600
Speaker 1: there's all those like, um, they'll have like different slides

1410
01:11:53,040 --> 01:11:57,360
Speaker 1: for your sign, and it's like it's a meme, and

1411
01:11:57,439 --> 01:11:59,360
Speaker 1: it's like this is a scorpio meme and this is

1412
01:11:59,600 --> 01:12:03,040
Speaker 1: areas meme. So we blindly took all of them and

1413
01:12:03,160 --> 01:12:05,280
Speaker 1: took off the sign and then we sent them on

1414
01:12:05,439 --> 01:12:08,599
Speaker 1: my girls chat and I said, everyone, read through all

1415
01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:10,439
Speaker 1: of these and see which one suits you the most,

1416
01:12:10,520 --> 01:12:12,640
Speaker 1: which one describes you the most, and then see what

1417
01:12:12,800 --> 01:12:16,439
Speaker 1: sign it is. And instead of just finding your sign

1418
01:12:16,520 --> 01:12:19,000
Speaker 1: and going, oh no, that's so me, because that's the

1419
01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:22,280
Speaker 1: cognitive fucking tricks that are mine plays to give us

1420
01:12:22,320 --> 01:12:25,479
Speaker 1: what we want. And I will say that most of

1421
01:12:25,600 --> 01:12:29,920
Speaker 1: us picked our own sign and that was wild. Isn't

1422
01:12:29,960 --> 01:12:35,280
Speaker 1: that crazy? So there's and you know, I leave open

1423
01:12:35,479 --> 01:12:38,040
Speaker 1: as much as I think I know the laws of

1424
01:12:38,120 --> 01:12:40,599
Speaker 1: the universe and I know everything and I'm a misnow

1425
01:12:40,640 --> 01:12:43,920
Speaker 1: at all. I will say that the one show that

1426
01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:50,439
Speaker 1: got me to question afterlife is the show After Death

1427
01:12:50,680 --> 01:12:53,679
Speaker 1: or something. It's a Tyler Henry's show The Little Psychic

1428
01:12:53,800 --> 01:12:55,760
Speaker 1: Kid who scribbles on a piece of paper and talks

1429
01:12:55,760 --> 01:12:58,040
Speaker 1: to people who are dead, And I wrote on his

1430
01:12:58,080 --> 01:13:00,280
Speaker 1: instagrams because it was a year since the anniver story

1431
01:13:00,280 --> 01:13:02,960
Speaker 1: of his show debuting on Netflix, and I wrote a comment.

1432
01:13:02,960 --> 01:13:04,400
Speaker 1: I was like, is this like so lame? But I

1433
01:13:04,479 --> 01:13:08,720
Speaker 1: was like, this show changed everything for me. I look

1434
01:13:08,760 --> 01:13:11,680
Speaker 1: at death. I now look at death differently. And I

1435
01:13:11,840 --> 01:13:15,240
Speaker 1: meant it like that show changed that little experiment we

1436
01:13:15,280 --> 01:13:17,719
Speaker 1: did in the girls chat with the astrology. I go, Okay,

1437
01:13:18,360 --> 01:13:22,280
Speaker 1: I'm open to it. I might embrace this. And then

1438
01:13:22,400 --> 01:13:26,280
Speaker 1: Tyler Henry show, I think there might be ghosts. I

1439
01:13:26,439 --> 01:13:29,800
Speaker 1: think there might be an afterlife. I'm not like I'm

1440
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,240
Speaker 1: I'm open to it. And it's interesting how those how

1441
01:13:32,479 --> 01:13:35,559
Speaker 1: you can even be open to that stuff from a Netflix.

1442
01:13:37,800 --> 01:13:41,599
Speaker 1: I hope there's ghosts. I hope that there's something. I mean,

1443
01:13:41,720 --> 01:13:44,200
Speaker 1: the biggest fear that I have is that there's nothing.

1444
01:13:44,280 --> 01:13:48,320
Speaker 1: And that's probably the case. And um, yeah, that's why ghosts.

1445
01:13:48,400 --> 01:13:51,280
Speaker 1: Ghost shows are like full of hope. That's like, oh

1446
01:13:51,360 --> 01:13:56,080
Speaker 1: that tortured ghosts is something. It's I'm not not gonna

1447
01:13:56,120 --> 01:13:58,439
Speaker 1: be nothing. But do you ever think about the thing

1448
01:13:58,479 --> 01:14:00,200
Speaker 1: of like you just go back to the way was

1449
01:14:00,240 --> 01:14:03,000
Speaker 1: before you were born. Does that bring you comfort? You've

1450
01:14:03,040 --> 01:14:06,040
Speaker 1: heard that obviously, right, Yeah, it makes me no comfort.

1451
01:14:06,080 --> 01:14:08,840
Speaker 1: It makes me want to scream and jump out a window.

1452
01:14:11,840 --> 01:14:14,960
Speaker 1: But that's probably the case. Yeah, I'm gonna be frozen

1453
01:14:15,080 --> 01:14:17,679
Speaker 1: in a tube until they can fix that fix aging,

1454
01:14:18,200 --> 01:14:20,280
Speaker 1: and they're gonna defrost me, and they're gonna be like

1455
01:14:20,360 --> 01:14:26,160
Speaker 1: they're they're getting. Yeah, I need to be Yes wants

1456
01:14:26,160 --> 01:14:29,639
Speaker 1: to be decapitated and it's frozen head and then they'll

1457
01:14:29,680 --> 01:14:31,680
Speaker 1: clone all the stuff in his head and he can

1458
01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:34,439
Speaker 1: come back. Why why would you want to be back

1459
01:14:34,520 --> 01:14:37,639
Speaker 1: as an eighty one year old man? Um? Well, maybe

1460
01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:39,960
Speaker 1: he's enjoying life as an eighty one year old man

1461
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:41,599
Speaker 1: and he's like this is and he can't go back

1462
01:14:41,640 --> 01:14:43,400
Speaker 1: to his thirty one year old self. So he's just

1463
01:14:43,439 --> 01:14:45,280
Speaker 1: gotta take what he can get. But I do it.

1464
01:14:45,360 --> 01:14:47,240
Speaker 1: Maybe you can. Maybe you can put your brain and

1465
01:14:47,280 --> 01:14:49,759
Speaker 1: your memories into a robobody and you can walk around

1466
01:14:49,760 --> 01:14:52,720
Speaker 1: and you can jump eight feet high. That's true. Don't

1467
01:14:52,760 --> 01:14:54,640
Speaker 1: want to come back to whatever world we're living in.

1468
01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:57,639
Speaker 1: When they have that technology, it's gonna be so it's

1469
01:14:57,680 --> 01:14:59,720
Speaker 1: so advanced. I'm not gonna know the new apps. There's

1470
01:14:59,720 --> 01:15:01,920
Speaker 1: gonna some new app that every all the kids are on,

1471
01:15:02,040 --> 01:15:04,200
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna feel so out of it. I'm terrified

1472
01:15:04,200 --> 01:15:06,599
Speaker 1: of aging, not because of the looks, but because I'm

1473
01:15:06,720 --> 01:15:10,760
Speaker 1: so scared of being stupid with technology. And right now

1474
01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:13,439
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm starting to get a little stupid. Like

1475
01:15:13,600 --> 01:15:15,679
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know how to make a real

1476
01:15:15,760 --> 01:15:17,320
Speaker 1: I don't know how to like do faded. I don't

1477
01:15:17,360 --> 01:15:18,960
Speaker 1: know how to do that thing where you like talk

1478
01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:21,519
Speaker 1: behind an image or in front of an image and

1479
01:15:21,560 --> 01:15:23,519
Speaker 1: you're like, see what she's wearing here, Like, I don't

1480
01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:25,439
Speaker 1: know how to do that yet I know I can figure.

1481
01:15:26,760 --> 01:15:29,200
Speaker 1: I just figured out how to fast forward YouTube. So yeah,

1482
01:15:29,280 --> 01:15:33,519
Speaker 1: I'm I'm getting there. But um tap tips. Let's talk

1483
01:15:33,520 --> 01:15:36,280
Speaker 1: about you never worry about and oh sorry, you don't

1484
01:15:36,280 --> 01:15:37,639
Speaker 1: have to worry about any of that. By the way,

1485
01:15:37,680 --> 01:15:40,439
Speaker 1: you don't have to worry about learning anything because in

1486
01:15:40,520 --> 01:15:42,600
Speaker 1: the next five to ten years, all you have to

1487
01:15:42,680 --> 01:15:44,560
Speaker 1: do is ask the AI to do it for you.

1488
01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:47,599
Speaker 1: You don't have to learn any of this shit. Really, hey,

1489
01:15:47,720 --> 01:15:49,639
Speaker 1: I will do it for you. You'll just you'll just type.

1490
01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:51,519
Speaker 1: Can you please make a reel for me where my

1491
01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:52,920
Speaker 1: head is in front of a blah blah blah and

1492
01:15:52,920 --> 01:15:54,280
Speaker 1: the AI will do it for you. You don't have

1493
01:15:54,320 --> 01:15:57,400
Speaker 1: to no coding anymore. It's crazy. This is relaxed. That's

1494
01:15:57,760 --> 01:16:01,439
Speaker 1: makes me feel both better and more awful. So I

1495
01:16:01,479 --> 01:16:04,880
Speaker 1: don't know, Let's get in a listen more tomorrow on

1496
01:16:04,880 --> 01:16:06,680
Speaker 1: the podcast I'm so good You're gonna be around that.

1497
01:16:06,720 --> 01:16:08,960
Speaker 1: You were so fun today, Brian Frazie, thank you for

1498
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:13,080
Speaker 1: being here again. Spokane, Washington, Eugene, Oregon, twenty fourth and

1499
01:16:13,160 --> 01:16:15,320
Speaker 1: twenty fifth coming up in two weeks. Come to those

1500
01:16:15,360 --> 01:16:17,559
Speaker 1: shows on your Marina. Thank you for being here at Noah.

1501
01:16:17,600 --> 01:16:22,320
Speaker 1: I love you so much, don'tyka and just ask the

1502
01:16:22,479 --> 01:16:27,320
Speaker 1: chat GGP to do it? Is that the name? Yeah? Yeah, sweet,

1503
01:16:27,360 --> 01:16:27,880
Speaker 1: I gotta right