WEBVTT - You Get an "A" For Effort: Beautiful Plans, Become Ridiculous Crimes 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:03.400 Ridiculous crime. It's a production of iHeartRadio. 0:00:03.600 --> 0:00:08.240 Elizabeth Zab look at you Za, I'm gonna start talking 0:00:08.240 --> 0:00:09.520 like this, Zab Hellai. 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:11.960 I think that'd be really a good fit for you. 0:00:12.119 --> 0:00:17.000 And we're huge costume jewelry uh huh, coral lipstick, yes, 0:00:17.280 --> 0:00:18.599 and caftan. 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:20.680 And really really floral perfume. 0:00:20.880 --> 0:00:24.600 Oh, I mean you'll smell me common Yeah. Yeah, She's like, oh, 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:27.240 she's coming over to my house. And then I pull 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:28.880 up in my jaloppie. 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:35.960 Zab before you make that ground domb life change and 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:38.360 you have a question for you? Yes, do you know 0:00:38.400 --> 0:00:41.600 what else is ridiculous? Oh? 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:41.960 I do? 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:42.519 I do? 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:50.120 Batman Batman? Yeah, but Mexican Batman Batman. Oh you know 0:00:50.240 --> 0:00:56.040 we've talked Batman extensively, ad nauseum completely and so uh 0:00:56.240 --> 0:00:59.840 you know John Batman d DS. Well, this is this 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:06.920 a there's a Mexican vigilante honestly, and they're calling him 0:01:07.319 --> 0:01:12.400 Mexican Batman and he he's being hunted by the police 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:17.480 because he finds guys who's stolen like uh, motor scooters, 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:23.440 and he takes them and tapes them heavily to phone. 0:01:23.160 --> 0:01:24.880 Polls like duct tapes. 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:28.319 Duct tapes them to lamp posts and he puts like 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:31.360 a sign over their head that tells what they've done. 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:34.360 It's taped to the post. And then like he draws 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:38.760 like mustaches or cat whiskers with pen on their face 0:01:39.000 --> 0:01:43.640 and then he writes rato like a thief written on 0:01:43.680 --> 0:01:47.320 their face, and then puts the stolen scooter at their 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:52.520 feet stolen again. And so they're calling him the Batman 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:57.040 of Lagos de Moreno. And it's this place in Jalisco, 0:01:57.520 --> 0:02:00.400 So yeah, the law enforce less. 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:04.920 Uh huh, where's like major cartel actions. Yeah, Mexican Batman. 0:02:04.680 --> 0:02:09.320 Hunting around so terrifying. It looks very abu gray, like 0:02:10.000 --> 0:02:13.240 the duct taping and the and they're just like arms 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:15.239 to their sides, are in front of them right, also 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:17.720 looks like sometimes it's two and one two on the 0:02:17.760 --> 0:02:20.880 same post. I'm going to have Terry put these all 0:02:20.960 --> 0:02:23.840 up on Instagram and so but if you don't have that, 0:02:23.919 --> 0:02:27.120 if you don't have Instagram, look up Mexican batman and 0:02:27.160 --> 0:02:29.760 it's all over the all over the internet. So the 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:32.080 prosecutors are like, well, you know, these guys are actually 0:02:32.120 --> 0:02:36.919 the victims for abduction and like assault because they're also 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:42.040 he beats the tar. Yeah, so they're all bloodied and 0:02:42.080 --> 0:02:45.040 like they got cuts on their faces, missing a tooth. 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:48.000 Do we know for certain that they have stolen the 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:50.919 motorcycles and motorbikes discooters allegedly? 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:56.880 Allegedly, but like it's pretty pretty obvious. 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:57.040 That part of the leg work. 0:02:57.520 --> 0:02:58.320 Oh, he totally is. 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:00.680 It's not just like you know, getting referrals. 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:04.240 Totally is. And so yeah, this started like in the 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:07.040 beginning of June and it's gone on like there are 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:09.840 five cases, I think, so all the rude dudes have 0:03:09.840 --> 0:03:11.840 been sending us this stuff and like I had seen 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:14.520 it independently and it was just like, this is amazing. 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:19.960 Is a Mexican batman? Awesomely awesomely ridiculous. 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:21.080 It's gone over. 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:24.160 Ten days, yes, ten day period. But I love the 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:26.160 cat whiskers drom on their faces. 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:30.240 That's an interesting touch. It's very Christian Bale batman. I 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:31.079 gotta hand on that. 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:34.400 Yeah, it's very George Clooney batman. 0:03:34.840 --> 0:03:40.720 It is not. There are no nipples, Clooney. Well, do 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:42.119 you know what else is ridiculous? 0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:42.760 Please tell me? 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:45.000 You know how the most crimes we cover begin with 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:48.400 one of two things, either like this burning desire or 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:52.720 like a very calculated plan. Sure, right, And typically an 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:56.080 unplanned crime is the type that begins with desire, whereas 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:58.840 the planned crimes usually begin with like a goal and 0:03:58.960 --> 0:04:03.119 some kind of like plan to get there. Right now, today, 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:06.640 I have for you, Elizabeth, crimes that were planned but 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:09.360 they failed because of the crimer's desire. 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:34.520 Oh no, yeah, that's the both world worst enemy. 0:04:34.560 --> 0:04:40.040 This is Ridiculous Crime, a podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:45.760 hest and cons. It's always ninety nine percent murder free 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:49.680 and one hundred percent ridiculous. 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:54.479 So saw Ridiculos got to work on it. I got 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:55.799 to work it out, zob. 0:04:56.960 --> 0:05:00.640 It's coming together. It really is, Elizabeth, our first crime 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:03.800 today because I have a compendium of crimes. It hinges 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:06.920 on a mother's love, which can be a beautiful thing 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:09.080 as we no it guess, and if the stakes are 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:12.160 high enough, it could also be criminally ridiculous. So that's 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:14.920 the case with this crime. But before we dive into 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:17.480 this one, I have a question for you. It's about 0:05:17.480 --> 0:05:19.800 your mom. Okay, tell me about your mother. 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:21.640 Don't talk about mama now. 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:24.640 My question is rather straightforward. Yeah, imagine you were in 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:29.640 prison serving a life sentence. Okay, okay, so you're imagining right, yeah, okay, 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:32.200 I'm right there. My question is, do you think your mother, 0:05:32.720 --> 0:05:37.200 working all by herself alone at night, would dig an 0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:39.320 escape tunnel to free you from prison. 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:43.560 I think if she had to, she would, But honestly, 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:46.080 she'd spring me like the legal way. 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:46.640 Other ways. 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:52.320 Yes, she will assemble, like better than the OJ dream team. Totally, 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:54.520 she would have It would be like you know, the 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:55.600 the Vultron. 0:05:55.720 --> 0:06:00.280 They would come together and form a super Yeah, get 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:02.560 me out on jurisproof. 0:06:02.120 --> 0:06:05.800 I'm standing legal grounds. If that wasn't possible, yeah, she 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:07.000 would totally. 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:08.960 Hire a French helicopter. 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:12.960 Team and come up with some crazy plan and pull 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:14.560 it off. She's tough. She's tough. 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:17.760 That's what I was thinking. But now, for contrast, my 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:21.680 mother would not even raise a finger to get me 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:24.440 out of prison. Oh my god, are you kidding me? 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:28.120 I can't imagine in her like small cramped spaces in 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:31.200 the dark, taking a tunnel that ain't happening, yeah, and 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:33.480 then then hiring a dream team. She'd be like, well, 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:37.560 you know, honey, I tried, but I'm gonna pray about it. 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:40.680 And I'd be like that ain't gonna work late. So now, 0:06:40.720 --> 0:06:42.839 if you can believe it, there was a mother who 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:45.560 was faced with the same question, a mother in Ukraine, 0:06:45.800 --> 0:06:50.440 and she did exactly what one would hope mother might too, 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:53.920 or I would hope she tried to dig a tunnel 0:06:53.960 --> 0:06:55.480 to prison. 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:58.760 That's what That's what good, big bad mamas do, right. 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:00.000 I love a good big. 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:03.440 Band totally, Mama bear on the look on the for justice. Now, 0:07:03.440 --> 0:07:06.240 we don't know this woman's name, unfortunately it's never been released, 0:07:06.600 --> 0:07:08.560 but we do know she was fifty one years old 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:10.800 at the time. We also know she traveled from her 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:14.880 home in the Mikalayev region in Ukraine to the Zapporiza 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:20.400 oblost in the settlement called Kamyantskiya. Sorry for my pronunciation, 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:21.400 but sure, I'm trying. 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:24.000 I'm so offended right now. Once she don't know what 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:25.720 you really actually said, she. 0:07:25.880 --> 0:07:29.120 Found a rental house for herself. She rented that and 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:32.920 according to the Ukrainian news outlets TSN, which in English 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:37.960 stands for Television News Service, they reported on her daring 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:42.280 prison break in. TSN explained that behind the prison's iron bars, 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:45.880 the institution held lifers and murderers, so it was like 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:50.480 a maximum security joint and the American magazine Popular Mechanics. 0:07:50.480 --> 0:07:52.920 They also covered this story much easier to read in English. 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:56.160 From me and then their reporting, they found official records 0:07:56.160 --> 0:08:00.600 that suggested the prison was the Vilneskaya in Stitution for 0:08:00.640 --> 0:08:04.320 the Execution of Sentences number eleven. Okay, such like the 0:08:04.360 --> 0:08:07.480 most like god, I know right Eastern European prisons. 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:09.720 I can see, I can see it, like printed on 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:10.560 a piece of vapor. 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:14.960 Exactly. Now, this is all backed up by the October 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:20.560 twenty twenty four Ukrainian Ombudsman National Preventative Mechanism Report. That's 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:23.360 basically a prison inspection. Right, So, at the time of 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:27.160 the most recent prison inspection, that facility in Vilniskaya they 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:29.680 had held a one hundred and sixty seven people. That 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:32.200 number included one hundred and four people who were sentenced 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:35.640 to life imprisonment. That's crazy numbers, one hundred and four, 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:37.199 one hundred and sixty seven wiers. 0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:38.719 Yeah, and the rest of the marl. 0:08:39.720 --> 0:08:42.880 Exactly, I hope I make it. Now, presumably her son 0:08:42.960 --> 0:08:45.360 was one of the lifers, and I assume that means 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:48.319 he was in for murder. Once again, all the assumptions, 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:51.520 none of this is in the reporting. So this same 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:54.800 prison report from October twenty twenty four, they noted that 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:58.439 the Vilniskaya prison was in poor shape. They had numerous 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:02.199 buildings in the prison complex only partially usable or they 0:09:02.200 --> 0:09:05.120 were listed as being in the middle of repairs. Right, 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:07.800 but the repairs had gone on for like twenty years. 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:10.720 Like I found that there was one building where only 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:16.680 five percent of its roof wasn't damaged. It was damaged. 0:09:16.920 --> 0:09:19.880 That's not a conditions must have just been. 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:24.200 Oh completely, Yeah, I imagined wintertime, like you're getting snowed 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:27.960 on inside of the prison. Okay, you get the idea. Now, 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:31.240 imagine your son or your daughter is in this prison 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:33.199 serving a life sentence and they don't even have a 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:35.280 roof over their head, and that everyone around them is 0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:39.560 basically a murderer. So obviously a mother's like, I'm gonna 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:41.360 have to break my boy. Yeah right, I. 0:09:41.280 --> 0:09:43.520 Don't have a kid. But if that happened to my nephew, 0:09:43.600 --> 0:09:44.280 are you kidding me? 0:09:44.320 --> 0:09:45.760 See, you know, you couldn't. 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:48.480 Spring that kid so quickly, even if he was a 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:49.080 grown man. 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:53.240 So what was this mother's plan to free her son? 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:56.079 Great question, Elizabeth, it is you get right to the 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:59.640 point always. Her plan was, as I said, she'd tunnel 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:03.040 to the prison grounds. Then she'd like pop up in 0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:07.360 the prison and somehow find and free her son. I 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:10.439 don't know, it's a classic she all breaks scenario. Once 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:13.200 I'm inside, I'm gonna get busy. Yeah. So she rents 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:15.480 that rental house I said, near the prison, and she 0:10:15.640 --> 0:10:17.920 brought with her and an electric scooter. 0:10:18.920 --> 0:10:19.280 Cute. 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:22.160 Why an electric scooter? Well, because the mom planned to 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:24.600 do some sight seeing. No, like some kidding like. 0:10:24.480 --> 0:10:26.960 A moped scooter or like one of those push ones. 0:10:27.000 --> 0:10:29.840 I think electric, like you know, like the bird scooters 0:10:29.840 --> 0:10:31.400 that you see, yeah, lettering. 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:36.000 Downtown, the ones that people ride on the sidewalk at break. 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:37.719 Next speed they go over twenty five miles an hour. 0:10:37.720 --> 0:10:41.240 And I love when it's like a tourist in San 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:45.200 Francisco and it's like a girl in you know, awkward 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:49.000 sandals in the sundress and she's just hauling down ahead. 0:10:49.000 --> 0:10:50.360 Her friend is on the scooter with me. 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:53.800 It's really wobbly, and I'm just like I can't I 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:57.160 can't watch. I cannot watch them just eat gravel like this. 0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:02.000 Is so Luckily mod did not eat any gravel. So 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:04.400 but what she really wanted. What she was after was 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:06.559 a form of travel that was both light so she 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:09.319 could lift it move it around, and also was silent. 0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:13.640 That's good too, run silent, run deep. Exactly a weapon 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:15.800 if it's light enough. 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:17.960 Breaker. 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:20.560 That's what I'm talking about. I take that scooter into 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:25.560 the prison and just right hi, Yeah, I'm like one coming. 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:28.400 I'm like, that's the noise that it makes when you 0:11:28.440 --> 0:11:29.920 crack someone skull with a scooter? 0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:32.120 Yeah? 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:35.679 Have you ever heard that? Sounds probably what I never 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:39.400 heard when it echoes through the halls of a dilapidated prison, 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:43.079 heads bursting like melons. Go ahead, tell the rest. 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:48.280 So every night, imagine this single mom fifty one year old, 0:11:48.280 --> 0:11:51.480 hopped on her electric scooters, silently gliding through the darkness 0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:52.160 as she. 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:55.960 Commutes to her She wore a cape. 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:59.520 So too, but also like a kerchief. Yeah, exactly got 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:02.360 the whole. So she said, there she is commuting to 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:05.360 her improvised dig site. You got the mental image. Since 0:12:05.400 --> 0:12:07.480 she didn't want any of the locals to discover what 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:10.160 she was really up to when it was daytime, she 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:13.800 largely avoided any and all contact local folks, Like she 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:16.800 didn't leave the house. Yeah, she's like on straight Batman hours. 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:20.200 To put it in terms of yeah, so there she is, 0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:23.400 laying low. She did do some grocery shopping apparently, but 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:27.720 other than that she kept her head down. She's there exactly, Elizabeth. 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:30.000 She wasn't there to make any new friends, obviously, or 0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:32.480 to find any silver haired lovers, so it wasn't hard 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:35.000 for her to keep focused and just be like all 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:38.199 about that tunnel life. So meanwhile, every night for about 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:40.760 three weeks, she'd sneak out on her silent electric scooter 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:43.400 commute to her dig site, and with none of her 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:47.960 neighbors ever catching on, she was like this ninja grandma, right, yeah, 0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:50.120 And she was so successful that at the first part 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:53.800 of her plan, the langlow totally successful. So even to 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:55.960 the point that Ukrainian news reporters when they asked the 0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:57.760 locals about her and they like had a picture of her, 0:12:57.800 --> 0:13:00.280 they like showed her the picture. No one in the 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:03.360 village recognized her, Like nobody they went to like the 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:05.480 main store in the village, like you know this woman, 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:09.719 yeah yip. So once she's at her dig site, right, 0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:11.520 she get to work like she's on the clock, right, 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:15.320 So she's hand built this curious device to help her 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:17.960 with her tunnel plans. According to a local firefighter who 0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:21.920 saw this handbuilt device, it was and I quote, a 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:25.120 special little cart made of plywood with small wheels that 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:27.320 she would lay down on and drive there. And the 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:32.120 thing was like seventy centimeters wide. Yes, so imagine it's 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:34.959 like twenty eight inches wide, so like a little over 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:37.560 two feet wide, and you're laying it down like it's 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:40.479 like not on rails like El Choppo with the motorcycle. 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:43.079 The same idea, something to be able to scurry or 0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:45.559 scoot back and forth real yoah yeah, and also carry 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:48.560 loads of dirt with you get the idea, clever. Imagine 0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:50.800 like all the research she's done for this tunnel is 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:53.280 like watching the prison movie The Great Escape, and she's like, 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:56.200 I'm gonna do everything they did. I will be Charles Bronson. 0:13:56.880 --> 0:14:02.280 No I. So she's in her subterranean tunnel by hand, 0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:06.920 by hand, Elizabeth, can you imagine being in your own 0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:09.360 hand dug amateur tunnel night after no. 0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:12.400 Because I'm terribly claustrophobe. I would lose it, and I 0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:15.480 am terribly impatient in most things like that. So I'm 0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:18.160 just digging. I'm like I can't. It would be faster 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:20.400 for me to go and get a job in the 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:23.040 prison and work my way up to and then be like, 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:24.760 gues ps, you're out of here. 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:25.960 I don't eve think you have to get that far. 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:27.800 Just get up to guard and just escort them. 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:30.440 Yeah, I mean that's easier. You get like a fake 0:14:30.480 --> 0:14:33.080 you get's doing all this digging. Come a cook, put 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:35.920 the put the emphasis on fake papers. You have a 0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:39.400 different ID, and then you weasele your way in that way. 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:41.800 And oh, you're just like the best employee. You can 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:42.840 do whatever you want. 0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:46.560 I like your plan so good. With plans down the 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:48.760 street and around the corner on this plan from where 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:49.040 she is. 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:51.560 You know, kids have lemonade stands. 0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:52.640 Outside, you've got criminals. 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:57.800 I'm going to set a table out like Charlie Brown psychiatrist, 0:14:58.200 --> 0:14:59.640 except I'm just gonna be plans. 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:01.600 You're the lucy in this case. 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:03.720 Yeah. You just come to me and you're like, here's 0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:05.320 my dilemma. I was like, all right, here's your plan. 0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:07.920 I need to get two cousins out of Afghanistan. They're 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:08.440 locked up. 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:10.920 All right, let's do this. Sit down, let me get 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:12.280 out my paper, let's go. 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:17.160 So after three weeks of work, her tunnel had managed 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:19.920 to stretch thirty three feet towards the prison yard. 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:22.560 That's a long way, especially for. 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:25.080 One person working alone, but at night by themselves. 0:15:25.120 --> 0:15:28.200 And how like what kind of soiler we. 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:33.640 I imagine it was pretty hard. It was pretty difficult ground. 0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:36.560 And I don't know, if we're talking winter, we're like, 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:37.440 you got frozen earth? 0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:39.400 Oh forget it. There's no way she could. 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:41.120 Do it in the winter or even close. You know, 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:43.040 maybe you're thawing out. I don't know. Well. 0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:45.640 And then if it's summertime, mosquitos zerin. 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:47.200 I don't think they're in the tunnels. 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:50.320 Could they chase you in there? They would follow me 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:51.240 in there. 0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:54.560 Just chasing the heat. So one resident of vill in 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:57.840 the Sky I told the TSN News outlet quote the 0:15:57.880 --> 0:16:01.800 mother prepared so thoroughly. Maybe she's a minder's daughter. It 0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:04.640 would be difficult to simply dig three meters deep. I 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:08.360 don't think she called an excavator, excavator. 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:11.400 Excavator Wait, so she went, o wait, three meters deep? 0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:13.640 So okay, I'm trying to figure this out. 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:17.120 Three meters deep, thirty three feet long? Yeah, wow, there're 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:20.360 ten meters if you are right right right, keep it meters. 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:21.680 Oh my god, keep it say so. 0:16:22.280 --> 0:16:25.880 I'm like, I'm freaking out thinking about being in that tunnel. 0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:30.960 Right over, nine to ten feet deep. No to go. 0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:33.320 And also, by the way, she's just doing this all 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:36.360 full on, single mother style, handling it all by herself, right, 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:38.680 So to get rid of the excavated earth, she didn't 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:40.160 do like they did in the Great Escape, or they 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:42.200 filled their pockets with dirt and they secretly empty their 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:44.240 pockets as they walk around to the prison yard. Nope, 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:46.720 not her. Her plan was way simpler, right to the point. 0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:49.480 She hauled the dirt from the tunnel and piled it 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:52.680 in an abandoned building not far from the prison smart, right, 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:54.800 So she's just got that. And I'm talking like, after 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:57.080 three weeks she had a small hill of earth. It 0:16:57.160 --> 0:16:58.640 was literally tons of dirt. 0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:04.239 Yeah, three feet long. Bite whatever. Every day you call 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:05.959 her single mom. It reminds me of the time I 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:08.600 came here to headquarters and I had a bandana on, 0:17:08.840 --> 0:17:12.320 like my head kerchief style, and you told me I 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:17.240 look like a seventies single mom who's having like irritated 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:18.320 at the price of cereal. 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:20.840 Don't like Marcia Mason would play you in the movie. 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:23.720 Yeah, and like cutting coupons and really sweating it. But 0:17:23.800 --> 0:17:26.640 guess what kids were gonna be? Okay, have never worn 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:30.200 a bandana kerchief since I'm so sorry, it's okay. 0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:33.720 So the trouble for this dedicated single mother was although 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:36.960 she had dug the thirty three feet ten meters, she 0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:39.960 still had another two hundred meters to go or about 0:17:40.000 --> 0:17:45.640 six hundred, oh good sixty feet, Elizabeth, she wasn't even 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:46.359 like tenth of the. 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:48.000 Way they're telling you. She got to come to me 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:49.679 and maybe. 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:52.800 Five percent is not. Long story short, the single mom 0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:55.240 on a mission never really got close to the prison fence, 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:58.320 let alone into or under the prison grounds. Her tunnel 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:01.800 was discovered by prison staff long before that occurred. Yeah, 0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:04.920 how was it discovered? Great question? Yeah, it wasn't reported 0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:07.280 in the Ukrainian language news stories that I read and 0:18:07.520 --> 0:18:11.160 had translated into English. But the prison staff, apparently from 0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:13.440 what I could tell, refused to offer any details about 0:18:13.480 --> 0:18:15.119 how they found it in case anyone else wanted to 0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:18.960 try the same approach. Also, they seemed rather confident that 0:18:19.080 --> 0:18:21.000 even if she had made it under the prison fence, 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:23.359 it would have been majorly difficult to link up with 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:25.879 her son, and they turn them back out via the tunnel, 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:28.600 because remember they got a prison full of murderers and 0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:30.439 lifers that she's got to get her to get to 0:18:30.440 --> 0:18:32.080 her boy. Yeah, and then get back out with that 0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:35.399 any of them going I'm coming too right. Maybe she 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:37.240 planned to go in there like going heavy with an 0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:39.480 AK forty seven and started barking orders. 0:18:39.560 --> 0:18:42.320 I don't know, pop out of the ground like a gopher. Yeah, 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:48.560 like Constantine, Constantine, have you seen him? 0:18:49.600 --> 0:18:54.320 But as one local, Anastasia pi Leifskya, told the Ukrainian News, 0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:56.640 that's what the mother is like, and now she will 0:18:56.640 --> 0:18:57.440 sit with her son. 0:18:58.280 --> 0:19:05.280 Oh oh burn, that is so cold, yeah, Tray Slavic, Yeah, 0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:08.159 it is very. 0:19:07.760 --> 0:19:11.160 So that same local Anastasia, she also expressed a larger 0:19:11.200 --> 0:19:13.680 concern beyond a mother's love for her son, pointing out 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:16.639 that uh, after all, they are lifeers and there are 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:19.639 murderers there. Many would have escaped. So she was with 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:22.199 me on the whole point of like this mom is 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:25.520 not just getting her son, she's creating a pathway out 0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:27.560 for all those people we want to be in there. 0:19:27.640 --> 0:19:28.120 Liberation. 0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:30.440 That would have been Batlizabeth, It really would have been 0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:32.800 I wish I could tell you what Justice's mother faced 0:19:32.840 --> 0:19:36.399 for her attempted prison break in, But as Popular Mechanics found, 0:19:36.640 --> 0:19:39.280 they were quote unable to find any public report or 0:19:39.320 --> 0:19:43.440 statement that confirmed whether she was ever convicted, imprisoned, acquitted, 0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:47.720 or otherwise had the case resolved just disappeared. But we 0:19:47.760 --> 0:19:49.679 do have to give her an a for effort, because 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:52.240 I know for a fact, once again, my mother would 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:56.280 never So with that, Elizabeth, let's take a little break 0:19:56.359 --> 0:19:59.240 after these messages. We will be back with more crimes. 0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:22.000 And we're back, Elizabeth. We are you ready for part 0:20:22.160 --> 0:20:26.840 two of our compendium of well planned but poorly executed crimes? Well, 0:20:27.080 --> 0:20:30.359 next up, we have a truly awe inspiring combination of words. 0:20:30.760 --> 0:20:34.560 Some might call this a cursed headline. I say it's fun. 0:20:35.720 --> 0:20:40.560 You ready, Yeah, Techno DJ jailed after selling sixty thousand 0:20:40.680 --> 0:20:42.959 fake plane parts to major airlines. 0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:48.520 Oh you just never see where it's coming exactly, Like, what. 0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:49.119 How does that relate? 0:20:49.840 --> 0:20:50.080 Oh? 0:20:50.200 --> 0:20:54.560