1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:01,920 Speaker 1: And with a hole for being upset up my wife 2 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 1: for going somewhere. I told her not to go. 3 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:08,040 Speaker 2: On your friend's special Wiener. 4 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:08,880 Speaker 3: Oh special. 5 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,640 Speaker 1: We're going to try to answer the question when does 6 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:17,200 Speaker 1: setting boundaries become too controlling? A good question, an interesting discussion. 7 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 2: I think we've had some discussion on this before, but 8 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 2: never full episode. 9 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 3: Well, here we go. 10 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 1: This comes from Calm Stranger twenty three six zero says 11 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 1: I twenty eight male, have been married to my wife 12 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,040 Speaker 1: twenty six female for two years now. We've had some 13 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: ups and downs, but overall our marriage has been well. 14 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 1: She's a supportive partner, but sometimes, like all couples, we 15 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: do bicker, but we do try and fix our problems 16 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 1: at the end of the day. Recently, my wife has 17 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,160 Speaker 1: been going on jogs and going to this new smoothie shop. 18 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 1: Now she loves smoothies. 19 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 3: We have much too much. 20 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 4: Too much. 21 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 2: Don't trust somebody who loves smoothies that much. 22 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:52,159 Speaker 3: No straws allowed. 23 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 1: We have a few smoothie shops in our area that 24 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: she also loves, and we also make smoothies at home. 25 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 1: But this place just opened up. She went for a 26 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: job and tried it out and loved it. She said 27 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 1: the staff was nice and the smoothies are great. 28 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:05,119 Speaker 5: Staff was nice? 29 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 1: Red flag or is it a red flag to think 30 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 1: that that's a red flag? Red flag exception? 31 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,319 Speaker 2: Who is staff? 32 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,319 Speaker 5: Know what the stories about? 33 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:16,399 Speaker 2: I don't know. She's calling all these staves really nice. 34 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 2: First she's calling a staff nice. Then it's a special one. 35 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:20,759 Speaker 3: Why not say employee? 36 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,559 Speaker 5: She's gonna slip on a banana pill at the smoothie shop. 37 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,199 Speaker 3: Come on, they do have a lot of bananas there. 38 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,679 Speaker 1: She comes back one day after her jog with a 39 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 1: smoothie for her and I and and told me that 40 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: she got both for free or free. 41 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:36,680 Speaker 2: My dad gets coffee for free at his coffee place sometimes, 42 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,199 Speaker 2: but he has to show both his nuts. 43 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: Dang, dude, dude, that is so good. Missus Donner, this 44 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: is this is them. Okay, if you're watching this right now, I'm. 45 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:50,200 Speaker 2: Not listen to the pods. She'll probably hear this. 46 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 3: So I was shocked. 47 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: Only because smoothie's in her area I can cost sometimes 48 00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 1: eight dollars each. 49 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 3: I asked her why did she get them for free? 50 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 3: And was today a special day? Really quick? My girlfriend 51 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:08,639 Speaker 3: does sometimes have other women who are. 52 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:10,639 Speaker 1: Doing things give her stuff for free or like free 53 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: shots and stuff, and it's always fire. 54 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 5: Your girlfriend's like the sweetest person ever. 55 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 1: Actually, when we went to a concert, she was ordering 56 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:18,920 Speaker 1: one of those very expensive drinks and then she asked, 57 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 1: all a double shot. It's like an extra, like eight dollars. 58 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: She's like, here you go, free eight dollar double same thing, 59 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: eight dollars, got a free dang, got it for free. Okay, 60 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 1: she said, please, don't get mad. But the worker there 61 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 1: was hitting on me and gave them both for free. 62 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 1: He gives me all the drinks for free when I 63 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 1: go there after my jogs all the drinks and oh 64 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 1: we get the details. 65 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 5: That's like half of his hourly wage. 66 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 2: That's thirty minutes of his time that he is spending 67 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 2: on your girlfriend. Double yeah, that's my hour. That's a 68 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,680 Speaker 2: whole hour of his time. Mm hmm, that's crazy. 69 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 3: Yep. 70 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: She's been there about six or seven times. At this point, 71 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 1: I told her I'm uncomfortable with her getting free drinks 72 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 1: and being flirted with and would like her to go 73 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,239 Speaker 1: to a new smoothie shop. Okay, we have the money. 74 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: I can pay for her smoothies, or I can make 75 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: them at home. Plus there are so many in our area. 76 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 1: She said that I should trust her, that she wouldn't 77 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 1: cheat on me, and free smoothies is a plus. I 78 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: told her I don't want her to go there anymore, 79 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,239 Speaker 1: and she says she wishes I would trust her. I'm 80 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: just gonna say real quick, this is how it would 81 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,679 Speaker 1: play out in my relationship my girl. This would happen 82 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,079 Speaker 1: to my girlfriend. She would get the free smoothe and 83 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 1: she'd be like, yeah, it was crazy. This guy like 84 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,119 Speaker 1: tried to flirt with me and gave the smooth free 85 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 1: smooth and was like whatever and took it and left. 86 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: And I'm like, you have to go back there and 87 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: keep getting free smoothies because I trust her so much 88 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: and I am I value deals. 89 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 2: I value smoothies. 90 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 3: I value deals. You're telling me you're getting freezeoo now 91 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,360 Speaker 3: I do that. No, but I would encourage her to 92 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 3: do it, you know what I mean. 93 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 2: Roles reversed. Yeah, Okay, the smoothie lady is like, John, 94 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 2: you're booty looking so cute. Here's two free smoothies for you. 95 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 2: You go back and keep getting free smoothies. 96 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 3: No, I don't. 97 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: I don't, but if she is, and then it's like great, 98 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,080 Speaker 1: now we can both win. We both get a free smoothie. 99 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: I'm elated. I am over the moon. 100 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,640 Speaker 2: What about you, sum If he's behind the counter and 101 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 2: he's just giving those things away, fine, as soon as 102 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 2: he steps around the counter and there's any physical contact involved, 103 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:20,720 Speaker 2: then no best forward. 104 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 1: I told her I don't want her going there anymore, 105 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,720 Speaker 1: and she said she wishes I would trust her. Fast 106 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 1: forward to today. My wife still goes on her morning 107 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: jobs jogs, and she went to the same smoothie place. 108 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,599 Speaker 1: I asked her to stop going to to see the 109 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 1: same man who has been flirting with her and giving 110 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 1: her free drinks. I only noticed because I have her location, 111 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,360 Speaker 1: so he's a little peeping well. 112 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,160 Speaker 2: I mean, you know where your partner is if you 113 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,280 Speaker 2: have the other location. 114 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,520 Speaker 1: When she got home, I didn't say anything to her 115 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: about it. She went to shower and left her phone 116 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,159 Speaker 1: in keys on the counter. She asked if I could 117 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,279 Speaker 1: text her mother about dinner at our place tonight, and 118 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 1: I said sure, I see, I see. When I opened 119 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 1: her phone, texted her mother and sent a text about 120 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 1: a dinner tonight. A text from her best friend came 121 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:12,159 Speaker 1: up on the screen. It said, you're not wrong, it's 122 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,279 Speaker 1: okay to have crushes while you're married, just don't do 123 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 1: anything stupid. Plus he gives you free smoothies. Girl, I 124 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 1: have a hunch. I think she's talking about the smoothie guy. Really, 125 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 1: I like to read between the lines. You know, a 126 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:29,360 Speaker 1: little regular sherlock over here, somebody's playing hand me my pipe, 127 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,560 Speaker 1: somebody's playing sixty nine D chess. 128 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:34,920 Speaker 2: Over here, and I am every day baby, smart smart. 129 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,479 Speaker 1: So I clicked on the text and I read the 130 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,240 Speaker 1: messages she had told her. She told her best friend 131 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:43,280 Speaker 1: that she thought the guy at the smoothie shop was attractive, 132 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: that he would flirt with her and give her free 133 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,719 Speaker 1: smoothies and they would chat. But she found him on 134 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 1: Instagram and he's married with kids. But she still enjoys 135 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,839 Speaker 1: getting the smoothies and seeing him on her jogs. 136 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 2: Bro that guy's married with kids, and he's definitely flirting 137 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 2: with her. A absolutely two free smart the day. 138 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 3: I'm wondering what to do now. 139 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:04,640 Speaker 1: It's been a few hours since I discovered this, and 140 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: I haven't talked to my. 141 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,280 Speaker 3: Wife about it. What do we do well? 142 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,479 Speaker 2: Question, Is it okay to have crushes in a marriage? 143 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 3: No? 144 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:16,720 Speaker 1: Because well, I think it's like there's a difference between 145 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: like like, oh that someone is a person, is an 146 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:24,279 Speaker 1: attractive person, and then I feel like crush is defined 147 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 1: as you've blossomed these feelings for someone. 148 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 2: If she's like, oh, man, that smoothie guys so hot, 149 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 2: but then keeps going to get smoothies. Yes, like, it 150 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,919 Speaker 2: is normal to think people are hot. It's normal to 151 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 2: be even enthralled by certain personalities, right, But I think 152 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 2: what is not okay is to let things progress in 153 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 2: a way where you could either become like super emotionally 154 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,799 Speaker 2: attached or allow yourself to do like something physical. 155 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: Yes, but this is not all ladies and gentlemen. There 156 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:01,799 Speaker 1: is an update to give an update about the smoothie 157 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: situation with my wife. I wanted to start this off 158 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 1: by first thanking everyone for the advice in the comments. 159 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,920 Speaker 1: I apologize I wasn't able to respond to any comments. 160 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: I've been a bit overwhelmed with the amount of comments 161 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,280 Speaker 1: I got, as well as the situation at hand. To 162 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,360 Speaker 1: address a few things. First, I did not intentionally snoop 163 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 1: through my wife's phone. I texted her mom about dinner 164 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: and I had seen the text pop up from her 165 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 1: best friend. 166 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 3: That is really what happened. I guess my wife is 167 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 3: not a good cheater. 168 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 2: I don't think the wife is cheating. Yeah, I think 169 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 2: smoothie guys just pull in some smooth moves. 170 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 3: And second, I love my wife, or at least I 171 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 3: thought I did. 172 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 6: Oh. 173 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 1: I call her beautiful every day. I don't neglect her emotionally. 174 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: I give her everything I have. I have enough money 175 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 1: that my wife can stay home and enjoy her days, 176 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: even though we don't have any kids of her own. 177 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 1: And it still isn't enough. 178 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 2: Dot dot, it still isn't enough. 179 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 3: Opie, my, I'm getting some overreaction. 180 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 2: Well, maybe maybe there's more information that we don't know yet. 181 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,960 Speaker 2: Maybe on let's keep going. I haven't spoken to my 182 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 2: wife about what I know just yet. Her mother came 183 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,120 Speaker 2: home after dinner after I made the post. I acted 184 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,640 Speaker 2: as though nothing was wrong. I participated in cooking the 185 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 2: meal ight, and then her mother left. After her mother left, 186 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 2: my wife told me that she had a headache and 187 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 2: she was going to go lay down for the night. 188 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 2: I gave her a kiss good night, and she went 189 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 2: to bed. After she went to bed, I decided to 190 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 2: go through her phone. 191 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: Trust is breaking, dundun dun. 192 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 2: If imop, I don't think I'm in break up territory 193 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 2: unless they are talking yes, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, 194 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 2: if he's moved from the counter into her DMS. 195 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,319 Speaker 1: So I wanted more concrete proof about what my wife 196 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: is doing, and more importantly, why I can't trust a 197 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,559 Speaker 1: word out of her mouth at this point, especially because 198 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 1: it appears she initially tried to delete her text with 199 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 1: her best friend. My wife just switched from having a 200 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 1: Samsung to having an iPhone, so she wasn't aware of 201 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:56,680 Speaker 1: all the deleted messages that are saved for thirty days 202 00:08:56,760 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 1: unless deleting again from a separate folder, stored the messages, 203 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:04,920 Speaker 1: screenshoted them, and deleted them afterwards. 204 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 2: Uh oh. I mean, if she's cheating, I mean, you'll 205 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 2: have the evidence. But if she's not, this is this 206 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 2: relationship's going downhill. 207 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:17,280 Speaker 1: She told her best friend that she has a huge 208 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 1: crush on the man at the smoothie shop. She told 209 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:25,040 Speaker 1: her best friend they have exchanged names and she's been 210 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 1: cyberstalking him. Uh oh, that she paid for one of 211 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:35,600 Speaker 1: those one dollar background checks to learn more about him. Possibly. 212 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 1: She also said that he's the manager at the smoothie shop. 213 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 1: It's a corporate company. He has five kids and has 214 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 1: been married for fifteen years. Damn, that's right, fifteen years. 215 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,960 Speaker 1: He's forty six years old. You read that correctly, forty 216 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:55,560 Speaker 1: six years old. Justin sane and for context. OPI's wife 217 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,280 Speaker 1: is twenty six female. 218 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 5: All right, hear me out. If you're forty six, we're 219 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,440 Speaker 5: going to smooth the shop. You should not be given 220 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,680 Speaker 5: out free smoothies you. 221 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 2: Need as your kids. 222 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 3: He's the manager. He could be making six figures. 223 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:06,880 Speaker 6: So. 224 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 1: She also told her best friend that on top of 225 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 1: the free drinks, he takes his break when she gets there, 226 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:15,080 Speaker 1: and they often chat about life and she really enjoys. 227 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 4: Moved from behind the counter. Oh, breakup. He lifted the 228 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 4: flap and matched to the back. Also, damn, forty six. 229 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: We have a regular Leo DiCaprio on her hands right 230 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: early as a gentleman dude. She said, he started blowing 231 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,559 Speaker 1: her kisses, and she blows him one back. 232 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:37,920 Speaker 3: That sounds crazy. 233 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 1: Oh, and tells him to have a good day and 234 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:44,600 Speaker 1: that she'll see him tomorrow. Oh, and get this, my 235 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:49,680 Speaker 1: wife even knows his work schedule. Apparently he's off on 236 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 1: Mondays and Tuesdays. Coincidentally, my wife doesn't go on her 237 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 1: jogs on Monday or Tuesday. Her best friend was just 238 00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 1: encouraging her behavior throughout the thread, telling her that she's 239 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 1: not wrong for having a crush if she doesn't sleep 240 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: with him, and if she does sleep with him, to 241 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,319 Speaker 1: use protection and turn off your phone and tell your 242 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 1: husband your phone died on your jock. She's giving her 243 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 1: the how to cheat. 244 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 2: In one playbook. 245 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,559 Speaker 5: We're trying to get a six kid, right. 246 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:20,560 Speaker 3: So Opie says. I'm heartbroken. 247 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,280 Speaker 1: I have checked her Instagram too. She hasn't DMD him 248 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:27,320 Speaker 1: to my knowledge, but her search history and message history 249 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:31,199 Speaker 1: was erased. She must have erased it before she went 250 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,560 Speaker 1: to bed. My wife did not go for a job 251 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:37,760 Speaker 1: today because Smoothie Boy is probably off because it's Monday. 252 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,560 Speaker 1: She's been acting as if nothing is wrong. She still 253 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: doesn't know that I know what she's doing. She is 254 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 1: having an emotional affair. I will be contacting my lawyer tomorrow. 255 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,640 Speaker 1: I don't know what to say to her. I slept 256 00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 1: in my office last night on the couch. I just 257 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:58,160 Speaker 1: feel sick, devastated, at a loss for words. I probably 258 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 1: won't respond to any comments, but I do it appreciate them. 259 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 1: I probably won't use this account anymore either. I just 260 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:07,880 Speaker 1: feel numb, dumb, and stupid. Best of luck to everyone. 261 00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 1: I think, yeah, like an emotional affair rush is like, 262 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:17,680 Speaker 1: what's what's happening here? I think that op is also 263 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: like jumping straight to divorce. And that doesn't mean like 264 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 1: you necessarily have to stay together, but I feel like 265 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,200 Speaker 1: you need to like at least sit down and just 266 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 1: like put all the cards on the table. 267 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 2: And yeah, I mean, I think it's still a good 268 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,360 Speaker 2: idea to talk it through. 269 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:37,320 Speaker 1: Honestly, I think it's like approaching the line where it's 270 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 1: like about to turn into a physical affair, right right, 271 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: Like the intention is there, yes, yeah. 272 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 2: But that's where that story ends. That's it. 273 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 3: That's all we got. It's all she wrote. 274 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 2: But don't you worry, we got another one. Am I 275 00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:54,640 Speaker 2: the a hole for not allowing my fiance's best friend 276 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 2: to come to our wedding? 277 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:56,840 Speaker 3: What she'd do? 278 00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 2: Let's find out? So excess or cool? Xach thirty three says, 279 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 2: my fiance and I have been together just under six years, 280 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:10,840 Speaker 2: dated three, engaged for two and a half. Great relationship relatively, 281 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 2: Our friends and family all get along with the other person, 282 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 2: no issues at all, except except for one of my 283 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:22,640 Speaker 2: partner's best friends. Said best friend has never liked me 284 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,840 Speaker 2: and seemingly had it out for me the entire time. 285 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:29,600 Speaker 2: She basically ignores my existence and refuses to speak or 286 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:32,440 Speaker 2: be cordial to me, But as soon as she sees 287 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:36,240 Speaker 2: my partner, she yells and hugs him, saying hey, best friend, 288 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 2: while ignoring me, even though I'm right next to him, 289 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,320 Speaker 2: and I believe it is a opposite sex best friend. 290 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,960 Speaker 2: I told him about it and how it made me feel, 291 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,760 Speaker 2: and at first it went unaddressed two to three more 292 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,839 Speaker 2: times because he needed proof to make sure there was 293 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:54,640 Speaker 2: an issue. After said proof was present, he spoke to 294 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 2: her about it and she got a little better, but 295 00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 2: only around groups of people, and like twice, she indicated 296 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,200 Speaker 2: she didn't have a problem with me. So he felt 297 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 2: I was the only one having an issue and I 298 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,440 Speaker 2: need to just approach her and talk it out. I 299 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,840 Speaker 2: told her I'm not doing that because she isn't my friend, 300 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 2: and he it's to do so Yeah. A couple of 301 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 2: weeks ago, we had attended a mutual friends party. I 302 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 2: attempted to make eye contact and say hello two to 303 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,640 Speaker 2: three times, but she avoided me. And refused to look 304 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:31,040 Speaker 2: at me the entire time. My fiance noticed because it 305 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:36,320 Speaker 2: was so blatant. I don't want her respect, don't need 306 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 2: her to like me, and don't honestly want her around 307 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 2: at all. I just want her to have basic human decency. 308 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 2: The situation has caused me to rethink my relationship and 309 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 2: end it because I feel my fiance is in the 310 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,480 Speaker 2: wrong for engaging with her after seeing how she completely 311 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 2: disregards me. I think now, but mostly after marriage. We're 312 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,840 Speaker 2: supposed to be a unit, and I wouldn't allow this 313 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 2: behavior from a friend. I've been feeling like an a 314 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,920 Speaker 2: hole because we spent the better half of a nice, 315 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:11,120 Speaker 2: drunken evening arguing about this, and I told him she 316 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:14,680 Speaker 2: can't come to our wedding as I won't have someone 317 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 2: who can't seem to stand me near me. So am 318 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:22,920 Speaker 2: I the a hole for telling my fiance you can't 319 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 2: come to our wedding? And there are some relevant comments, 320 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,480 Speaker 2: But John, what do you think is OP the a 321 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:32,000 Speaker 2: hole for saying that this person that won't acknowledge Op's 322 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 2: existence could be uninvited from their wedding. 323 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,280 Speaker 1: No, we've been saying this a lot recently, where It's 324 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 1: like it's many times it's not even like the thing 325 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 1: or the issue itself. It is just listening to your 326 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:48,280 Speaker 1: partner when they express that they have a. 327 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 3: Concern or something that is bothering them, et cetera. 328 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 1: I feel like op is entitled to not want to 329 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 1: have someone at her wedding who will literally ignore her. 330 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 2: Existence, and also like it's important to understand why she's 331 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 2: ignoring her existence. Yes, and I think special Wiener has 332 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 2: it right. Again. Best friend is deaf, jealous, and possessive 333 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 2: at the very least, So I think there's some jealousy 334 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 2: that this best friend actually wants to be in a 335 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:20,680 Speaker 2: relationship with OPI wants like her happy ever after with 336 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:26,560 Speaker 2: with Opie's fiance, And because of that, that friend is 337 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 2: dangerous to the marriage, like that friend will probably actively 338 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 2: try to sabotage the marriage, possibly the wedding. Anyway, we 339 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 2: do got an update, so first we're gonna get to 340 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 2: some relevant comments. So the consensus was not the a hole. 341 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,680 Speaker 2: Commenter says, not the A hole, but I'm surprised that 342 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 2: you decided to marry someone who allows such behavior towards you. 343 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,800 Speaker 2: Opie replies, I don't want to ruin what has otherwise 344 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,240 Speaker 2: been the healthiest and best relationship in my life. But 345 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 2: I've been thinking on it hard because where are the boundaries? 346 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 2: And then another competent says, not the a hole, she's 347 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 2: in love with your man, upset that he with you, 348 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 2: and pretending like you don't exist makes her feeling better. 349 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,880 Speaker 2: She won't say or do anything to make him upset. 350 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 2: She's saying she has no problem with you is because 351 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:14,359 Speaker 2: the problem isn't with you, technically, it's with him. She's 352 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:18,359 Speaker 2: hoping for her romantic movie moment when the male best 353 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:23,680 Speaker 2: friend finally realizes and falls for his female best friend hope. 354 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:27,119 Speaker 2: He responds, to be honest, this is what my best friend, 355 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 2: in a select few people I told about this a 356 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 2: while ago, said there were times in social media where 357 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,200 Speaker 2: she indicated she was the ideal woman for him, that 358 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,920 Speaker 2: he needs someone like her'. 359 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,160 Speaker 3: I mean that's instant. 360 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 2: It's damning. Evidence comment responds, not the a hole for 361 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,520 Speaker 2: not allowing the best friend to come to the wedding, 362 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,920 Speaker 2: But you are the a hole for still wanting to 363 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,399 Speaker 2: marry the guy. Your man doesn't respect you, or he 364 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,399 Speaker 2: would have put his foot down with the best friend 365 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 2: after he saw the way she continued to disrespect you 366 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:58,640 Speaker 2: after he said something to her. Do you honestly think 367 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 2: just not inviting her to the wedding will change anything. 368 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,639 Speaker 2: He's still going to be a pain in the butt 369 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:06,399 Speaker 2: after you get married. Then there will be more hoops 370 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 2: to go through when you end up divorcing because of 371 00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 2: her and oh, Pete replies, Wow, that was an unexpected twist. 372 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:17,239 Speaker 2: You're right, though, I've been seriously evaluating a relationship and 373 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,159 Speaker 2: how this one thing is jeopardizing it. I don't want 374 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 2: to give it up, but it does come across as 375 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:28,199 Speaker 2: disrespectful and just not presenting a unified front. Really, the 376 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:32,440 Speaker 2: only person that could enforce these boundaries is your fiance. Yeah, 377 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,199 Speaker 2: so if he doesn't do that, you're kind of like 378 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 2: the relationship may be a little else. Do a really 379 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,920 Speaker 2: general update I told my fiance original like maybe title 380 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:43,680 Speaker 2: I told my fiance's best friend couldn't come to her wedding. 381 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 2: She pretends I don't exist, and he does nothing to 382 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,159 Speaker 2: address it. So the comments on my original post open 383 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:52,560 Speaker 2: my eyes and made me realize that despite this being 384 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,600 Speaker 2: the healthiest relationship that I've been in, it doesn't mean 385 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:57,200 Speaker 2: it's actually healthy. 386 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 3: This is your healthiest relationship OPI oh sad. 387 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,320 Speaker 2: We had a couple of conversations surrounding this issue, which 388 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,560 Speaker 2: mostly consisted of me saying it bothered me and him 389 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,639 Speaker 2: saying I was the only one who cared. A couple 390 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:13,800 Speaker 2: of things helped me realize my breaking point. One, I 391 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,480 Speaker 2: asked him if you'd be okay with our daughter's future 392 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:19,879 Speaker 2: partner treating them like this, to which he got flustered, 393 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 2: shut down, and said he didn't want to talk about 394 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 2: it left alone. And two, he said he didn't want 395 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 2: to end to his friendship or do anything to jeopardize it, 396 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 2: because what if we break up? 397 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:32,960 Speaker 5: That's a black box right there. 398 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:37,879 Speaker 1: Whoh He literally said that to her face. He's literally like, 399 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,720 Speaker 1: but what if we break up and I need like 400 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,480 Speaker 1: another option of a person to date. 401 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,199 Speaker 2: This made me realize he would not protect me as 402 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 2: his wife since he didn't as his girlfriend. The final 403 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 2: straw was when I expressed how much it bothered me 404 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,080 Speaker 2: that he wanted me to blow this off since we 405 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,680 Speaker 2: as in me and the best friend only see each 406 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,520 Speaker 2: other four to six times a year, and he said, 407 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:03,479 Speaker 2: direct quote, because this is burned in my brain. I 408 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,200 Speaker 2: know the way she treats you is garbage, But you're 409 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:12,320 Speaker 2: allowing one person to dictate our relationship. It could be worse. 410 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:16,159 Speaker 2: You could be more active. There are worse ways to 411 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 2: meddle people, text and lie and all that to break 412 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,200 Speaker 2: relationships up. 413 00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:24,480 Speaker 1: The issue is it that there are worse people. No, yes, 414 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,639 Speaker 1: there are worse people. Are always going to be a 415 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:27,440 Speaker 1: worse person. 416 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,640 Speaker 2: The issue is you're not setting a boundary at all 417 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 2: with this friend. 418 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 3: You're not respecting your fiance. 419 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,920 Speaker 2: The first line broke my heart and told me all 420 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 2: I needed to know. I had to truck through a 421 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:43,400 Speaker 2: couple more months of pre planned and paid for social engagements, 422 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 2: but I closed the curtain on any chance of healing 423 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 2: this relationship the moment those words left his mouth, Thank 424 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 2: you everyone for the advice, common sense knocking me upside 425 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,639 Speaker 2: my head. In similar related experience and outcomes, I'm going 426 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,520 Speaker 2: to go to therapy and redefine what is a healthy 427 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:03,359 Speaker 2: balance and communicative relationship at it. The pre planned events 428 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:06,119 Speaker 2: aren't wedding slash engagement related. We share a home and 429 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,879 Speaker 2: need to divide assets, pets, and custody schedules. Additionally, we 430 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,119 Speaker 2: have vacations planned with a mutually shared friend group. Boyfriend 431 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:16,160 Speaker 2: is not part of that friend group. I appreciate the concerns, 432 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 2: but I need to plan things out a little more. 433 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 2: There will be no second chance to those that keep 434 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,840 Speaker 2: saying they're efing. Probably when I first brought this up, 435 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,439 Speaker 2: he became stressed and kept emphasizing how I thought he 436 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:32,320 Speaker 2: was effing his best friend and didn't want to address 437 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,119 Speaker 2: the issue that was brought up. I don't care to 438 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 2: know or confirm. Edit too, we are not getting married 439 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:43,720 Speaker 2: continuing our relationship. For those thinking I'm using the pre 440 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,119 Speaker 2: planned events to just justify holding out absolutely efing not 441 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 2: our relationship was dead the moment he admitted, she treated 442 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,960 Speaker 2: me like garbage and basically shrugged it off. As a note, 443 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,600 Speaker 2: I never asked him to cut anyone off out of 444 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,879 Speaker 2: his life. I simply asked for basic greetings and acknowledgment 445 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:04,359 Speaker 2: during the rare encounters with his best friend. This hasn't happened, 446 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:09,040 Speaker 2: aside from a couple of begrudging times and one final edit. 447 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,119 Speaker 2: I tried asking him the what would you tell your 448 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,080 Speaker 2: daughter to do? Question? He answered that if she loved 449 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:19,119 Speaker 2: her partner, he shouldn't care about outside people. Additionally, he 450 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 2: said he was tired of talking about it. He feels 451 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,720 Speaker 2: he's done all he can and he doesn't want us 452 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 2: me to bring her up because he's tired of talking 453 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:31,639 Speaker 2: about it. I told him our relationship is done in 454 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:35,040 Speaker 2: September when our lease is up, apologize for bringing it 455 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,119 Speaker 2: up and asked if he wanted to be alone for 456 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:41,159 Speaker 2: the evening. Thank you everyone for helping me realize I 457 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,920 Speaker 2: wasn't asking for too much. I really thought he was 458 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 2: the one for me, but I wasn't thinking straight. I'm 459 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:49,639 Speaker 2: tired and I want better for myself. I'm okay with 460 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,280 Speaker 2: being alone. I appreciate you all and have a good night. 461 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,520 Speaker 2: But yeah, what do you think about how op he 462 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:56,320 Speaker 2: settled everything? 463 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean totally fair. 464 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 1: I think that it's it's it's very evident that Opie's 465 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:05,239 Speaker 1: fiance is not caring about cutting off this person is 466 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,720 Speaker 1: absolutely thinking about having her as a backup. 467 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,040 Speaker 3: Is like planning for this engagement to fail. 468 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:14,400 Speaker 2: I bet you as soon as they break up, he's 469 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:17,280 Speaker 2: going straight to her. Yes, Roady make. 470 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 1: Notes crazy that he said that, like basically really express 471 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 1: how he truly feel. So Op He's like, okay, this 472 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 1: is for sure I need to leave, because he's. 473 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,399 Speaker 3: Like, well, I gotta have my backup in place. 474 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,120 Speaker 5: You know, I gotta make sure she's there. 475 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,439 Speaker 2: He said that it got so much worse, John, do 476 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:33,120 Speaker 2: you have a backup. 477 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:34,680 Speaker 3: I don't have a backup. 478 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 5: I got a call in I want to do. Yeah, 479 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:42,600 Speaker 5: So it says, O'Reilly have thoughts on the free food 480 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,679 Speaker 5: loll My fiance used to get free food from a 481 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:45,960 Speaker 5: girl at a burger joint. 482 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:54,600 Speaker 2: Let's see, hello Blackwood reabs. Hello, I heard you had 483 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,560 Speaker 2: a fiance they got free food from a girl at 484 00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,760 Speaker 2: a burger place. How did that make you feel and 485 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 2: how you learn about it? 486 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,679 Speaker 6: Well? Hello, first of all. Second of all, it was 487 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,520 Speaker 6: a thing. It was really funny because he just comes 488 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 6: home with food and he eats fast food like a 489 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 6: lot because we work so many hours. And I was like, 490 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,280 Speaker 6: oh cool, da dah, and I'm like talking about the 491 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 6: food and he like opens up another box and has 492 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,679 Speaker 6: a veggie burger in there for me, and I was like, 493 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:26,679 Speaker 6: oh my gosh, Like dude, those things are expensive, and 494 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,359 Speaker 6: he was like, oh, don't worry about it. They're the 495 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 6: girl there like gave it to me for free. 496 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,880 Speaker 5: And I was like what he just had to show 497 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:34,520 Speaker 5: my nuts. 498 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,800 Speaker 6: Basically, the standing agreement they had is he also is 499 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:45,440 Speaker 6: a movie theater manager, and he would like walk out 500 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,080 Speaker 6: of the movie theater to go get food, and so 501 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,200 Speaker 6: they had like a standing agreement that he would bring 502 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 6: her like an icy or like popcorn or something that's 503 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,000 Speaker 6: like really cheap from the building and she would give 504 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,199 Speaker 6: him free food. And I was like, Okay, is she 505 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:03,080 Speaker 6: flirting with you? And he said, like, I'm not sure. 506 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,639 Speaker 6: She's usually really busy. She just kind of comps it 507 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:06,000 Speaker 6: for me. 508 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,520 Speaker 2: Did you think there was flirting initially? 509 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 6: I wasn't sure. The long story short, I never ended 510 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,119 Speaker 6: up meeting that person, so I have no idea. I 511 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:19,000 Speaker 6: wasn't able to get a vibe. But I have seen 512 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,800 Speaker 6: people like flirt with boyfriends of mine in the past, 513 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,480 Speaker 6: so like it was a concern. And he's my fiancee, 514 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,239 Speaker 6: so he doesn't have like a wedding ring on yet, 515 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,879 Speaker 6: So like does she know or is everything good? And 516 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,399 Speaker 6: he was like, oh, yeah, don't worry about it. I 517 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,119 Speaker 6: made sure that, Like when I was ordering both burgers, 518 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,199 Speaker 6: I made sure to like say that I had a 519 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 6: fiance Da da And she's. 520 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,800 Speaker 2: Like, that's a w move. He's mentioning you. I mean 521 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,960 Speaker 2: I feel like that. I feel like at least he's 522 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,280 Speaker 2: not trying to obfuscate the fact that he has a 523 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 2: significantly it. 524 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,160 Speaker 3: Could be innocent given the exchange. 525 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,399 Speaker 2: Platonic, It could it could be platonic. 526 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,880 Speaker 6: It was totally chill, and I was like, all right, 527 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,880 Speaker 6: because we're on a budget, so I'm like, free food 528 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,840 Speaker 6: is free food, so don't worry about it. But like, 529 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,000 Speaker 6: if it gets weird. 530 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 5: Let me know to stay behind the counter. 531 00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,760 Speaker 6: Yeah. She did stay behind the counter the whole time. 532 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:07,359 Speaker 2: That's good. 533 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,760 Speaker 6: We never had any issues. She never went into the 534 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,720 Speaker 6: movie theater to find him, Like, there was no like 535 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:15,919 Speaker 6: crazy issues. So I think if it had gotten further 536 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,520 Speaker 6: than that, like the story turned into I would have 537 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,119 Speaker 6: been like, oh, dear. 538 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:24,240 Speaker 2: But no dms, no moving from behind the counter, just 539 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 2: an exchange of delicious food. 540 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 6: Yep. It was just a trade off, which is I 541 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:33,120 Speaker 6: think the best option because in chat everybody was like, yeah, 542 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,480 Speaker 6: free shakes, let's go. But as soon as that story 543 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:39,240 Speaker 6: started going into like the cyber stocking and Instagram stuff, 544 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:40,920 Speaker 6: I think everybody was like, oh. 545 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:43,040 Speaker 2: God, that's when it gets icy. So wait, how long 546 00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:43,879 Speaker 2: ago did this happen? 547 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,320 Speaker 6: Eight months to a year ago, and then it stopped 548 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 6: happening within the last like five or six months. 549 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,919 Speaker 2: So I guess I mean it honestly sounds like it 550 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:56,359 Speaker 2: has like a good conclusion because you laughed, so uh uh, 551 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:57,560 Speaker 2: kind of problem solved. 552 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 6: We never got to the point of like exchanging free stuff. 553 00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:04,359 Speaker 6: But like I've had like friendships with like other people 554 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 6: you know behind the counter or I'm the one behind 555 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,919 Speaker 6: the counter with like you know, customers, or I'm the 556 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 6: customer with like people like that, But you just don't. 557 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 6: You just don't go for anything like you have a 558 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 6: person already. If you want to explore, you got to 559 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:19,359 Speaker 6: end what you already have. 560 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I like that rule, So end to what 561 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,520 Speaker 2: you have first before pursuing anyone else. And if you 562 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:29,200 Speaker 2: do have something else, don't move from behind the counter. 563 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,720 Speaker 6: Don't do now you know they behind that darn counter 564 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,040 Speaker 6: six feet apart. 565 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:36,560 Speaker 3: COVID rules social distance. 566 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,879 Speaker 2: Well, Blackwood Reeves, thanks so much for calling in. 567 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,040 Speaker 6: No worries, I go get back in the stream. 568 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:42,560 Speaker 2: So you have to have a good one.