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Speaker 1: So I've learned to be a cheerful giver, but also

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Speaker 1: know when to step back, Like I don't need to

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Speaker 1: be the one that people say thank you too. I

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Speaker 1: can't be the one saying thank you yeah, oh.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because you know, sometimes people don't realize it's almost selfish.

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Speaker 1: Like you said, yeah, I took care of everybody. I

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Speaker 1: took you know I did that. Well, we didn't ask

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Speaker 1: you to exactly.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for watching, guys. Today's episode is brought to you

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Speaker 2: by boost Mobile. Okay a girl from Legos who used

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Speaker 2: to sing alone in her bedroom. That girl is now

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Speaker 2: one of the most celebrated artists on the planet. She

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Speaker 2: is OSCAR nominated and the only Nigerian artists male or

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Speaker 2: female to win two Grammys. She is a singer, songwriter, producer,

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Speaker 2: entrepreneur and now co owner of the San Diego Football

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Speaker 2: Club and then most recently, her EP wrote and produced

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Speaker 2: almost entirely by herself. It's called Love Is a Kingdom

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Speaker 2: MS is on IRL today. Guys.

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Speaker 1: What's up, my love? What's good? Thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for having me? No, very exciting.

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Speaker 2: It's exciting for me.

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Speaker 1: And a great intro that was I was like, whoa.

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Speaker 2: It's funny because I haven't seen you in a little while. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: last time you came to the radio show, and since then,

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Speaker 2: a Grammy happened, Yes, a tour happened, and EP happened.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, some things have happened. Things have happened, things have happened.

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Speaker 1: It's been it's been a whole I don't think I'm

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Speaker 1: the same person that you met then, for sure, Okay, definitely,

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Speaker 1: Like how Oh, I just think I've just evolved. I

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Speaker 1: think I'm I'm I just no more. I mean so

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Speaker 1: much experience, Like there's just so many things that have

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Speaker 1: happened since I last saw you that I don't even remember. Remember.

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Speaker 1: I think I watched that interview finally, like the full thing,

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Speaker 1: maybe like a year or so ago, real, Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, what was I why was what was

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Speaker 1: going on?

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Speaker 2: Do you watch your interviews normally right now?

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Speaker 1: No? I tried. It's not that I don't. I just

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, you know, it's not for me, it's

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Speaker 1: for them, you know, they watch it. I I'm like

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Speaker 1: trying not to.

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Speaker 2: Are you critical of yourself?

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Speaker 1: Sometimes? I think?

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Speaker 2: So? Are you you sensitive?

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm hm, I am an artist, you know, so

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Speaker 1: I'm sensitive about my music, you know, anything else I'm

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Speaker 1: not too sense. I'm not sensitive about like yeah, like

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Speaker 1: you know, I think the way I look facially I

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Speaker 1: can't do much about, you know, body wise I can't

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Speaker 1: do much about. So everything that I can't really do

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Speaker 1: much about, I'm not too quit to cover myself. But

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Speaker 1: I think music is, like I think, a bit more

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Speaker 1: of a sensitive topic for me. And like the direction

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Speaker 1: of like visuals and things like that.

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Speaker 2: Where does that come from? Like when did that start?

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Speaker 2: And where does that come from?

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Speaker 1: I think, Well, you know, when when I was making

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Speaker 1: music or when I started out writing stuff, it used

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Speaker 1: to be a secret and didn't tell anyone, So it

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Speaker 1: used to be my thing. I was very possessive over it.

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Speaker 1: You know, people couldn't hurt me because I had something

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Speaker 1: that nobody knew about and it was mine. And then

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Speaker 1: you know, I.

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Speaker 2: Know we talked about this a little bit bit. How

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Speaker 2: did you know how to do it?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I loved it, like I fell in

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Speaker 1: love with music. Your how old I was selling Dionne

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Speaker 1: was the first person like the Titanic song it wasn't

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Speaker 1: it was it was the song that goes just all

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Speaker 1: coming back to me now and you touch me like

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Speaker 1: this and when you know me?

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Speaker 2: It was like, ah, like that was the song that

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Speaker 2: didn't for you?

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Speaker 1: That was that was the song and then that's the

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Speaker 1: way is and that's the way it is. That was like,

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Speaker 1: oh that was my But I was like maybe like

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Speaker 1: seven when I first heard that song.

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Speaker 2: But what was it though? Like was it the sonically

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Speaker 2: or sonically?

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Speaker 1: I think the melody I felt like she the songs

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Speaker 1: were very like they just touched my heart.

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Speaker 2: What were you going through? What were you learning when

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Speaker 2: you made this last project? Mmm, you don't have to

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Speaker 2: say who?

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Speaker 1: Okay, I mean there's a couple people. But I think

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Speaker 1: I even till now, I'm learning the true meaning of

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Speaker 1: love and all we're all trying to figure that out. Yes,

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Speaker 1: are you close? I am very I think I think

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Speaker 1: I am close in understanding that what love truly is.

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Speaker 1: You know. I think first of all, the reason why

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Speaker 1: I said love is a kingdom is because God is love,

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Speaker 1: and God is the kingdom that I'm talking about. And

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Speaker 1: the type of love that that everyone is truly looking for.

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Speaker 1: It's not the love that is physical, but one that

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Speaker 1: is it's spiritual, it's intimately, it's spiritually intimate. It's more

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Speaker 1: of like it's it's in your heart, it's in your character,

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Speaker 1: it's in your personality. You become love before you even

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Speaker 1: meet someone, and when you meet someone who has also

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Speaker 1: embodied love, then you know you recognize it instantly because

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Speaker 1: you know where the source comes from, which is good.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 2: Have you gotten there? Have you had a love like that?

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Speaker 1: Well? Earthly, I don't know. Well, you know what? Actually,

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Speaker 1: let me be we're being honest here right So, right now,

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Speaker 1: I'm in a stage in my life where God is

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Speaker 1: teaching me about love through people. But it's not through

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Speaker 1: like romantic love necessarily. It's the way certain people in

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Speaker 1: my life show up for me. It's how I see

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Speaker 1: my flaws, like I see that messed up, and nobody

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Speaker 1: is saying that I messed up. Every Body is encouraging me.

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Speaker 1: Everybody's still showing up for me. And to be honest,

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Speaker 1: I have experienced like a love where I thought was love,

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Speaker 1: and it was like it was more like when someone

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Speaker 1: is trying to own you. You know, they think that

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Speaker 1: they own you, and love is not that's not it's

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Speaker 1: not obsession. No, it's not obsession and it's not possession.

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Speaker 1: We can't I can't own another human being. We can become.

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Speaker 1: Love is when both of you become one person, like

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Speaker 1: you're not nobody. We don't own each other, we are

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Speaker 1: each other like you know. So that's a whole song

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Speaker 1: just like what so we were locked in, you know,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I feel like everyone has experience of

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Speaker 1: that toxic love. It's someone that doesn't even know that

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Speaker 1: they're toxic. They don't even know that, you know. They

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Speaker 1: say I love you, I love you, but they don't

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Speaker 1: know that they don't even love me. Because you can't

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Speaker 1: love someone if you don't love yourself.

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Speaker 2: coderl It's funny get. We talked about love a lot

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Speaker 2: on the show in this podcast, and I find that

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Speaker 2: the most the people that I know, people always talk

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Speaker 2: about marriage and they're like, well, who do you know

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Speaker 2: who's in a happy marriage? Or who do you know

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Speaker 2: the marriage really work? I don't know anybody's happy. This

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Speaker 2: is a conversation that happens a lot with girlfriends are

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Speaker 2: friends right? And whenever I really try to think about okay,

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Speaker 2: let me let me think about who I know? Who

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Speaker 2: got it right, who's happy, who's in love? Who loves

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Speaker 2: their spouse. I do know a couple of people who

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Speaker 2: are in those relationships, and they're usually usually there is

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Speaker 2: spirituality inside of that relationship. Not usually every time anybody

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Speaker 2: I know who from the outside, because you don't really

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Speaker 2: know what goes on inside people's house, right, But from

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Speaker 2: the outside, anybody that I know that has gotten it right,

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Speaker 2: there's some spirituality involved there. They pray together. There's something

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Speaker 2: bigger than themselves.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there has to be. Yeah, because what's the reason?

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Speaker 1: Why would you love me? If you if you don't

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Speaker 1: have anyone you answer to, if you're not accountable to

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Speaker 1: anyone or to how could you? How could you choose

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Speaker 1: to love me and keep loving me for the rest

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Speaker 1: of our lives? If there's no there's no accountability. If

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Speaker 1: you are the god of your life, then why are you?

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Speaker 1: Why are you really?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: Why would you love me forever? You could just discard

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Speaker 1: me anytime you want. But marriage is I mean, obviously

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Speaker 1: I have not been married, I'm not married.

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Speaker 2: But would you one day? Is that something you helped

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Speaker 2: to do?

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Speaker 1: I think, yeah, if I feel like that is the

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Speaker 1: next step of my Like, I feel like marriage is

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Speaker 1: something that makes you better as a human being it

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Speaker 1: should It shouldn't be about whether you or you're like

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Speaker 1: so into this person or like you like this person

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Speaker 1: so much. It's about compatibility, and it's about whether this

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Speaker 1: relationship makes you a better person, like if it evolves

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Speaker 1: you like you are now on the next stage, because

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Speaker 1: marriage is a whole other level. Yeah, it's a whole

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Speaker 1: It's supposed to bring out the hard times.

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Speaker 2: So how much of that goes into like with like

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Speaker 2: even this ep, like, how much of those feelings and

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Speaker 2: those ideas about love play a part into you know

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Speaker 2: what I'm saying or yeah, or is it actual things

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Speaker 2: you're going through in real life or is it.

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Speaker 1: Just it's definitely thinks that it's definitely inspired by the

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Speaker 1: things I've gone through in real life, and what is

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Speaker 1: it's just my journey. I was just like most of

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Speaker 1: the songs on there, just like me documenting every stage,

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Speaker 1: like oh, in my understanding of love, you know, talking

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Speaker 1: to a guy and you're not sure where he stands,

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Speaker 1: And I have a song called I'm not sure where

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Speaker 1: It's like, if you want to see me, come and

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Speaker 1: find me, Like I'm not chasing you, bro, if you

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Speaker 1: want me, if you want me, you know where I'm

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Speaker 1: at you know, you have my number, so let's not

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Speaker 1: it's either you are here or you're not here. There's nowhere,

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Speaker 1: there's no me do. And also I think at the

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Speaker 1: end there's a song called is There a Reason? Where?

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Speaker 1: Really that song is about me speaking to God and

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Speaker 1: wondering why he chose me. I think that's Those are

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Speaker 1: the kind of things I contemplate on like, Okay, surely

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Speaker 1: I'm here for a reason, like like, is what do

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Speaker 1: you need of me? Like? You know, sometimes I get

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Speaker 1: scared that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Really, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: sometimes I feel like I need to do more. I

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Speaker 1: need to show up more. I need to help more people.

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Speaker 1: I need to physically like go and I don't know,

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Speaker 1: go through, get get something, do something.

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Speaker 2: You know, is that because of what you've built and

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Speaker 2: how blessed you are?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Like is that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I think it's I think it's definitely because of

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Speaker 1: just how much God has really blessed me. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I want to make sure that I am the person

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Speaker 1: you know, I am the daughter that He's called me

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Speaker 1: to be. And yeah, I think sometimes I I worry,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not meant to be worrying, you know, so

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Speaker 1: that's just here. I love that, you know that, I

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Speaker 1: know that that's a human thing. For sure. That's definitely

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Speaker 1: not something I'm meant to be doing. But on in all,

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Speaker 1: I feel like everything is working how it's supposed to

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Speaker 1: be at work.

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Speaker 2: But maybe you're not meant to worry. But I do

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Speaker 2: think you and all of us probably are meant to

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Speaker 2: ask the questions. Yeah, you know what I mean, I'm

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Speaker 2: meant to like stop what we're doing and just look

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Speaker 2: around and ask, am I my purpose? And I am

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Speaker 2: I work?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 2: Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing? Am

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Speaker 2: I missing something? Like? Yeah, I don't know that that's

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Speaker 2: worried so much, but I get I get you asking

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Speaker 2: those questions.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I try. I try not to worry, though,

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Speaker 1: because I feel like if you are the person, like

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Speaker 1: if you are being transformed into like a higher you,

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Speaker 1: it better you. You would automatically be doing the things

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Speaker 1: that you're meant to be doing. It's not something that

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Speaker 1: you would even need to think, like, okay, let you know,

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Speaker 1: like you need to force it, is what I mean.

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Speaker 1: The ideas would just they come. They'll just come to you. YEA.

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Speaker 2: How often do you pray a lot? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think sometimes I pray twice in

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Speaker 1: a day, and I feel like that's not enough. I

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Speaker 1: think what's more important is spending time in like the word.

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Speaker 1: I think so because that's what feels my prayers. Sometimes,

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Speaker 1: if I haven't read or filled myself up with like word,

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to pray. I mean, I know

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Speaker 1: how to pray, but I don't know I have nothing

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Speaker 1: to like honest, It's like, you know, I'm on the road.

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Speaker 1: There's so many things going on. I would always say,

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Speaker 1: like a little prayer, But I think to feel be,

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Speaker 1: you know, constantly filling yourself up with like knowledge of

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Speaker 1: the word truth, I think that helps me understand where

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Speaker 1: I'm at, like heart wise, like where my heart postures.

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Speaker 2: And you know, I'm wondering if you've ever had have

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Speaker 2: you ever had a word given to you or something

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Speaker 2: coming and completely stap you on your tracks and put

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Speaker 2: you on a different course, Like.

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Speaker 1: I mean, the best I can say is when I

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Speaker 1: quit my job, like that was like a word that

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Speaker 1: came to me and I was like, like clear, it

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Speaker 1: was really clear. It was very urgent. You know, I

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Speaker 1: had already settled in the job, and my my auntie

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Speaker 1: she was my boss at the time. She was she's

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Speaker 1: like she's my She's not like my auntie, like my

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Speaker 1: mom's sister.

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Speaker 2: She was more like a friend of the family, like.

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Speaker 1: She it's more like my mom's sisters, husband's cousin. You know.

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Speaker 1: So it wasn't like you know, but mid course, I

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Speaker 1: remember actually begged her for that job. You know, I

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Speaker 1: actually was desperate. I looked everywhere for a job.

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Speaker 2: You were on the phones, right, yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was in marketing, marketing, right, yeah, yeah, digital marketing.

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Speaker 1: I remember selling furniture.

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Speaker 2: How do you sell furniture on the phone? How does

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Speaker 2: that even work? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I wasn't on the phone always. I was actually going

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Speaker 1: to places and pitching them, like, oh, we can furnish

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Speaker 1: your office for you. Yeah, we you know, this is

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Speaker 1: our track record, this is what we've been doing. I

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Speaker 1: go to hotels, I go to where different like companies

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Speaker 1: older year. At this time, I was like twenty one

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Speaker 1: or twenty two. I think, wow, yeah, it's not that

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Speaker 1: long ago. Not that long. That's crazy. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So you go on and you're doing the furniture thing.

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Speaker 2: You beg for the job. She gives you the job.

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Speaker 1: It gives me, she gives me a chance. I'm terrible

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Speaker 1: at the job. I'm I did my best, but like,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I was very personable. Knowing what I

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Speaker 1: know now and seeing how I used to be, I

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Speaker 1: definitely know that I was not a salesperson. You don't

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Speaker 1: give me a salesperson, but I don't think so I didn't.

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Speaker 1: And when I received that word, it was like just

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Speaker 1: after the New Year's And how did it come though?

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Speaker 1: Tell me honestly, like the first word, the first verse,

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Speaker 1: I was just the same verse. Sorry, the same word,

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Speaker 1: which was take a leap of faith, just kept on

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Speaker 1: coming to me, like my mom was telling. My mom

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, this is what I received for you

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Speaker 1: this year, Like and I think you should really stand

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Speaker 1: in your faith and actually do what God is turned

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Speaker 1: you to do. And I was like, I don't know

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Speaker 1: what he's telling. I don't know what do you mean?

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Speaker 1: And then the what I was reading was about faith

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Speaker 1: and how like you have to have faith first. You

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00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:17,280
Speaker 1: can't see something and then have faith. You have to

339
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,960
Speaker 1: have faith before you see anything. That's how it works.

340
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Speaker 1: You first have faith.

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Speaker 2: If you see it, you don't need faith, it's there if.

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Speaker 1: You see it, you won't understand it. Actually, so what

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Speaker 1: faith does is you have faith and then you get understanding.

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Speaker 1: So I apart from that, the devotion that I had

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Speaker 1: the I can't remember the day before work started again

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Speaker 1: was taking a leap of faith again.

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Speaker 2: So in my seeing it, or people are saying it

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Speaker 2: to you, you're reading it.

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Speaker 1: I was reading, I mean my Bible. I was reading

350
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Speaker 1: about faith at the time. My mom was speaking to

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Speaker 1: me about faith. I think there was a sermonize I

352
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Speaker 1: watched that it was about faith. The algorithm wasn't there

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Speaker 1: at the time, so it wasn't any algorithm. It was God's.

354
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Speaker 1: It was, you know. And then I just started like

355
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 1: there was just like a voice in my head that

356
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Speaker 1: was like, you need to leave this job right now,

357
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Speaker 1: like right now, you need to do it today, you

358
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,520
Speaker 1: need to do it. By the end of today. You

359
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:20,400
Speaker 1: need to have done it.

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Speaker 2: I'm always fascinated when people tell me this time, no.

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Speaker 1: No, it was like, okay, it felt like as if

362
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Speaker 1: something was going to happen, like if I didn't do it.

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Speaker 2: Had you ever experienced that before? It was at the

364
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Speaker 2: first time.

365
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Speaker 1: No, that was the first time.

366
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Speaker 2: Was it a little scary?

367
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Speaker 1: It was But the thing is I had before I

368
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Speaker 1: experienced that, I had prayed that God would reveal what

369
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Speaker 1: he wanted me to do, and so when I received that,

370
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Speaker 1: I felt like I needed to be obedient and I

371
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:57,680
Speaker 1: needed to leave that job like ASA. So my auntie

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Speaker 1: I went to her house sent because she was still

373
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 1: sending me like missions. She was like, oh, I need

374
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:06,199
Speaker 1: you to do this, I need you to do that.

375
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Speaker 1: She was already you know, for the year.

376
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Speaker 2: Yeah, because she didn't know the design.

377
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Speaker 1: You know, Usually I'm like okay, yes, yes, yes, I will, Yes,

378
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 1: I will. But this time I said, oh, I would

379
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Speaker 1: like to speak to you. And she was like, you know,

380
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Speaker 1: if you're not careful, you're going to be fired. And

381
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:26,399
Speaker 1: I said, actually, I would like to speak to you

382
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Speaker 1: about this. So I went to her house and she

383
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,399
Speaker 1: was like, you know, giving me a talk, like what

384
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Speaker 1: are you doing? You know, I told you not handling

385
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Speaker 1: this thing where I was trying to believe in. I

386
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,639
Speaker 1: was trying to help you out and look at what

387
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:43,600
Speaker 1: you're doing and doing nonsense and you're not handling this well.

388
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 1: So I was like, my leg was shaking. I said.

389
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Speaker 1: She was like, do you want to get fired? And

390
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 1: I was like actually, yes, I need to leave this job.

391
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 1: She was like, what you need to work? I need

392
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,959
Speaker 1: to leave this job. She was like she looked like

393
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 1: she wanted to meet me. She was like, what what

394
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 1: you want to quit? She was like, who do you

395
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,479
Speaker 1: think is going to hire you after this? Like you

396
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 1: don't have any credentials? Like, who do you think is

397
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 1: going to want you? I said, actually, I'm going to

398
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 1: do music.

399
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 2: I'm going Were you crying?

400
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,719
Speaker 1: I was crying. My god, I was crying and I

401
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 1: was shaking, and I was like, I'm going to do music.

402
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 1: And I know that that sounds crazy. I know it

403
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 1: sounds crazy, but this is why I truly believed that. God,

404
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,479
Speaker 1: I was talking to you and I'm so sorry I

405
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: have to do it. I know you may be disappointed.

406
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh that that day my whole body.

407
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 1: By the time I left there, I wasn't living there shaking.

408
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 1: I left. It was the hardest thing I ever had

409
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 1: to do. Oh that was so hard. I went to

410
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 1: my car and I was just co crying. I was like, well,

411
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 1: I guess this is it. I guess we're gonna see

412
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 1: what's going to happen from now.

413
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 2: Why were you crying though? Because you were scared.

414
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:17,160
Speaker 1: I was scared. Yeah, I was scared. I just I

415
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 1: wasn't very confrontational.

416
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:22,120
Speaker 2: Oh so you felt bad, probably to letting her down

417
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:22,640
Speaker 2: in some way.

418
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 1: I just was. I was very people pleasing. I didn't

419
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 1: want to disappoint anybody. And that was one of the

420
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 1: first times I felt like I was disappointing everyone. I

421
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,440
Speaker 1: wasn't going to have a job, I wasn't going to

422
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 1: have money to take care of my mom. I wasn't

423
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 1: going to have anything. You know, I was letting down

424
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:44,919
Speaker 1: every everyone in my life, you know, their perception of me,

425
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 1: of what they thought was the best life for me.

426
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:48,720
Speaker 3: You know.

427
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: And I didn't even have the answers. I didn't even

428
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:52,680
Speaker 1: know what to do.

429
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 2: Are you Are you doing this because you've you had

430
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 2: such a strong desire to do music, or is it

431
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 2: strictly you're doing this because of the word that you

432
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 2: were received.

433
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 1: It was because of the word wow, because I was

434
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 1: okay not releasing me like I was okay. I was

435
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 1: enjoying my own music. My cousins would be like, you'll

436
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:14,120
Speaker 1: send me that voice notes that you because I will

437
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 1: send my cousins like voice notes, like just one song,

438
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 1: this song I should be like, why why don't you

439
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 1: posting this online? No? I don't want people to I don't.

440
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 1: You know, my cousin will be like, do you have

441
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:31,160
Speaker 1: any new voice notes for me? She'll be the only

442
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:37,399
Speaker 1: one to join. Yeah, And I was content with that, Like,

443
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,480
Speaker 1: you know, my dream was like, you know what, maybe

444
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,160
Speaker 1: I'll just make this a Friday night thing. I'll find

445
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 1: a bar and I'll have one of those Friday shows

446
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 1: that people come and listen to live music. That was

447
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:55,120
Speaker 1: That was my idea of making money. You see how

448
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 1: funny it sounds now, like are you insane? No?

449
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 2: I mean I get it, Yeah, I get it.

450
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 1: Like I was.

451
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 2: But do you ever are you an ever ever in

452
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 2: awe of how that moment? Like just because I'm sure

453
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 2: people get worried sometimes and out of fear or out

454
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 2: of whatever, just don't pull you know, pull the trigger

455
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 2: or whatever. That's probably a bad term, but they don't

456
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 2: push the button or they don't they're not diligent about

457
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 2: listening to that voice. Are you ever in awe that

458
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 2: of that moment? Even yourself, that you were able to

459
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:32,880
Speaker 2: do that?

460
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 1: Honestly, sometimes I just thank God that I, like I

461
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 1: couldn't ignore it for me. It was especially what I

462
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:53,199
Speaker 1: was learning about was actually Abraham right and basically he

463
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:57,400
Speaker 1: made it coven out with God. And for me at

464
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 1: the time, it was like, if I say I really believe,

465
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 1: like I'm not just performing, I'm not just I'm not

466
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 1: just making sure that I don't you know, I don't

467
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 1: go to Hell or something trouble. If I really, like

468
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:14,120
Speaker 1: I'm saying, I really want to know you, I really

469
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 1: want to work on this journey with you, then I

470
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:20,880
Speaker 1: have to have faith and I have to say God's parties.

471
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:25,679
Speaker 1: If you believe, then I will do so for me

472
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:30,439
Speaker 1: to show that I believe, He instructs and you're the

473
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: proof of your belief is your obedience. So for me,

474
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 1: I was like, I have to be a woman of

475
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:39,439
Speaker 1: my world. I can't go back now, you know. And

476
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: I was as I was quitting my job, I was like, well, God,

477
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 1: you see, I'm shaking all over. I don't know what's

478
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 1: going to happen. But I did what you said. I

479
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: did what you said. If I perish, I perish. If

480
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:57,159
Speaker 1: I if I find myself under the bridge, that's going

481
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 1: to be the best under the bridge life I would

482
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 1: ever have. Because you said he's you know, whatever life

483
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 1: he has in stuff for you is going to be

484
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:12,120
Speaker 1: better than your imagination and hasn't been is being beyond

485
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 1: my imagination. You know, when you read certain things, it's

486
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 1: like could this possibly be true? But what it is

487
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 1: is I allowed myself to actually truly believe, like just

488
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 1: trust because I had never seen any other thing all

489
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 1: my life. I've been relying on my own knowledge. So

490
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 1: maybe I should just try try this for a second.

491
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 1: And you know, it wasn't easy at first, but I

492
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, I'll just take it step

493
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: by step, day by day. You know, I'm not going

494
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 1: to chase anything. I'm going to wait. In my mind,

495
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 1: I was like you said, I don't need to do

496
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,960
Speaker 1: the work, Like I don't need to do too much.

497
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 1: I just need to believe, right, Okay, I'm just going

498
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 1: to be leave people, you know, and I'll do whatever

499
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 1: I receive.

500
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 2: How much do you attribute the career that you've had

501
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 2: to that moment?

502
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:10,959
Speaker 1: Oh?

503
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 2: Oh?

504
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 1: I think every every passing day that, like, I wouldn't

505
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 1: be termed if I didn't. If I chose not to

506
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 1: answer that voice, I would still be I might even

507
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 1: be unemployed because things are haved now.

508
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 2: I clearly couldn't sell no furniture.

509
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 1: I could, I would definitely have been fired. I might

510
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 1: be like a sales I might be like a cashier

511
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 1: or like a registered person. I don't know. There's nothing

512
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 1: wrong with that, by the way, if that's you.

513
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 2: Know, but that wouldn't have been.

514
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:50,040
Speaker 1: That wasn't That was not the highest I could have gone.

515
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 1: And I don't think I would have reached. I mean

516
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 1: maybe I would. I don't know. You never know, We'll

517
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 1: never know. We're never gonna, We're never gonna.

518
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 2: I don't know, how did you now? So now, okay,

519
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:06,239
Speaker 2: So that happens, and then time passes clearly before you

520
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 2: this thing really I mean opens up or was it?

521
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 2: How how long from that moment.

522
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: So you're like twenty twenty eighteen January I quit my

523
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 1: job January like second or fourth. I can't remember that

524
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 1: first week I quit my job. Then after that from

525
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: January March so January, February March April, I was kind

526
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 1: of living off people hand out my auntie. I asked, oh,

527
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 1: do you have any you know, just doing my best

528
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 1: to you know, live. My mom had to move out

529
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 1: of state because I quit my job. But I spoke

530
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 1: to you. No, she was actually what she was like,

531
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 1: this is something that I know that you have to do,

532
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: so don't worry about me. I want you to actually,

533
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 1: like go chase your dreams and go chase this thing

534
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 1: that you really feel strongly about.

535
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 2: Wow.

536
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: So she was very supportive. It was like the rest

537
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: of my family that was like, how can she She's

538
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 1: out of her mind, but she's crazy. By May, my

539
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 1: cousin convinced me to finally put out a video on

540
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 1: Instagram of me singing with my face. Just doing that.

541
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 1: That was nerve working for me because I used to

542
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 1: put videos out but without my face, and this meant

543
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 1: like I was going to be seen. So the first

544
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,959
Speaker 1: time I did that, that's when I started getting people

545
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 1: dming me, Oh, hey, do you want to work? Do

546
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 1: you want to come to this studio. I'll go to

547
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 1: the studio, I'll meet different people. And then at some

548
00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 1: point I decided, you know, now I understand it more

549
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 1: about this music thing. Let me try and release his song.

550
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: And that song was called Mister Rebel. And that song

551
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 1: came out August of the same year, twenty eighteen.

552
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 2: Wow.

553
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, yeah, it works fast when it works right.

554
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 1: He literally is actually us. That makes it.

555
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 2: Slow because you don't listen. Is that what you think?

556
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think you have to be the kind of

557
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 1: person that can handle the thing that he wants to

558
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 1: give you. And if you're someone that isn't true to

559
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 1: your word, how can you trust you with the whole

560
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 1: load of things when you can't even trust yourself with

561
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 1: a little So.

562
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 2: How do you sort that out through your head? Though? Sometimes?

563
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 1: Do you? And how do I ask this?

564
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 2: Like, you know, sometimes how do you know what? Because

565
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 2: sometimes we have a lot of voices in our head,

566
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 2: a lot of things the world, our own thoughts, Yeah,

567
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 2: things that we ingest from whatever situations we're in. How

568
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 2: do you know which is the right voice? Does that

569
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 2: make sense? Yeah? Because sometimes men I all want even

570
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 2: could sometimes get in the way where you're like, write

571
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 2: the that's what I want, That's what I should be doing.

572
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 1: You know.

573
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 2: Sometimes there's just so many voices. So how do you

574
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 2: quiet the noises to hear that you're the noise, the

575
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 2: one noise you're supposed to hear.

576
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think for me personally, what I've discovered is

577
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: that a lot of the voices that people here are

578
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 1: not theirs, their opinions that they've read of they've heard

579
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 1: from other people, like especially now that way in the

580
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 1: social media, you know AI and social and technology, and

581
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 1: when you're online a lot, you don't realize that you're

582
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 1: reading a lot of the comments in your mind. You're

583
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 1: reading a lot of the opinions of other people in

584
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:59,320
Speaker 1: your mind. Even though it was someone else that typed it,

585
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 1: you are reading it in your mind. If someone was

586
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 1: spewing like negative like comments, you're still the one reading it.

587
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 1: So your body is not going to think that it

588
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 1: was somebody else. It's you that you're still feeding yourself.

589
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,440
Speaker 1: That so when you go to sleep, all the things

590
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 1: that you've read, that you've fed yourself. That's what's in

591
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: your That's what's in your mind. Those are the things

592
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 1: that your mind uses as references for what to think

593
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:29,719
Speaker 1: about things that happen to you.

594
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:30,919
Speaker 2: That's so good.

595
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 1: That's where the narrative of how you see life is

596
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:38,360
Speaker 1: drawn is from the things you read. It's from the

597
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,800
Speaker 1: things you allow yourself to watch, the things you allow

598
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 1: yourself to hear, from your eyes, your ears, what you

599
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: feed yourself, what you feed yourself, and so I if

600
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 1: you're reading so many people's opinions and you're always online

601
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 1: and you're always watching comments, watching people talk, right, you

602
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 1: won't be able to hear the voice of God or

603
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 1: even your own voice, because your voice should align with

604
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: the voice of God, right, like it should only be good.

605
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 1: It should only be good things, right, because that's God

606
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 1: only wants you to win. No, there's no there's none,

607
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:21,800
Speaker 1: there's no hate actually, right, So if you're thinking hateful things,

608
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 1: or like if you're not believing in yourself and you're

609
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,400
Speaker 1: thinking I will never make it or I'm not good enough,

610
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 1: that can't be you. That can't be your voice.

611
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:34,240
Speaker 2: You ingested that from somewhere.

612
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: From somewhere. It's something you believe, like it's something you

613
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 1: believe and you've adopted it as yours. But you can

614
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 1: also let it go. But you need to. It's about awareness,

615
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 1: you know. So I feel for me once I realize that.

616
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 1: I stop reading opinions sometimes, like if I'm scrolling and

617
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 1: I see like someone starts to speak and I already

618
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 1: know that you're about to SA say so cross.

619
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 2: You want to get away from it first, right, I don't.

620
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:06,400
Speaker 1: Want to hear. I can't hear too many crazy things,

621
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: you know. I try not to be online too much

622
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 1: because anything can pop out at you and you can't

623
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,600
Speaker 1: stop it, and you're reading all these things in your mind.

624
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 1: So if someone is angry at someone else, you're reading

625
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 1: the anger into yourself. Yes, that's so good. You're reading

626
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 1: the anger, you're reading the hate, you're reading the negativity.

627
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 1: And then how do you read all of that and

628
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 1: then go and pray or then go and tell yourself? Yes,

629
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 1: I mean WIA today, But you've been reading hate all day, right,

630
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 1: and in your mind it's fun, it's banter. Yeah, but

631
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,879
Speaker 1: the banter is all your body knows, it's all your

632
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 1: mind knows.

633
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,320
Speaker 2: It's so good. Terms. I think of you in twenty eighteen,

634
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 2: sitting in that hearing that message that it was time

635
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,080
Speaker 2: for you to do that. Had you spent the past

636
00:36:56,200 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 2: month reading negative shit or hanging out with negative people

637
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 2: all month, I don't know that you would have had

638
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 2: that type of clarity to hear that type of word. Yeah.

639
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 1: I was very isolated. I wasn't around a lot of

640
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,319
Speaker 1: my friends, the friends I had at the time. I

641
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 1: started like distancing myself because I wanted to find out more,

642
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 1: you know, And I feel like that period God really

643
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 1: like was calling on me to just like separate myself

644
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: and understand like who I'm actually dealing with because we

645
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:35,280
Speaker 1: are living in life. This is some kind of reality,

646
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,360
Speaker 1: So what is this reality? And that for me that

647
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 1: was like I need to know what's going on. And

648
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:46,439
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, if if this was then it would

649
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:47,840
Speaker 1: be it would have been hard.

650
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wondered, because then I wonder, like when you

651
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 2: used now you become famous?

652
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 1: Yes, that I had to navigate. I was going to say,

653
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:56,520
Speaker 1: but somebody.

654
00:37:56,120 --> 00:38:00,040
Speaker 2: Who likes Who's quiet in tunes to this voice and

655
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,920
Speaker 2: tries to black out all other voices you put you

656
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 2: jump in the pool? Who does the How do you

657
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 2: navigate through that? Oh?

658
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 1: It was tough. It was so tough, even me having

659
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:20,359
Speaker 1: a conversation like this. No, it's not tough anymore. I've

660
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: shed a lot of skin, you know, coming getting to

661
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 1: this point. At the time, I was very hostile because

662
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 1: I thought, why is everybody that suddenly like liking me?

663
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 1: And why people wanting to talk to me? You didn't

664
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 1: want to talk to me before. Why do you want

665
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 1: to talk to me now?

666
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:38,719
Speaker 2: You know?

667
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 1: And at some point I thought, at some point in

668
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 1: the world to just move on. So I was kind

669
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 1: of waiting for that to happen. I was like, Okay,

670
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,759
Speaker 1: this is how it usually goes. They first like you,

671
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 1: then they ah, so let me wait till they h

672
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 1: hate me so I can continue my secret life. I

673
00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 1: was like, let me wait for this to pass. And

674
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 1: then months went by and he just kept on getting worse.

675
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, what's going on? You know? God, I

676
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 1: don't want to be in this one life. And I'll

677
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 1: go to the airport and people like recognize me and

678
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 1: they'll be like your terms. I'll be like no, I'm

679
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: not like, or are you terms? You look like her?

680
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:21,439
Speaker 1: I'll be like no, Like people say that, I don't

681
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 1: see somebody.

682
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:25,359
Speaker 2: Could misinterpret it, interpret to interpret that. I think you're

683
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 2: not grateful for it, but I understand you're afraid of it.

684
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 1: I'm so I was so afraid. Yeah, I was just

685
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 1: like why everybody? You know, someone will meet me and

686
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 1: they'll be like, they'll be like shaking, and I'm like,

687
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 1: it's just me, though, why are you shake? Like it's

688
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 1: just me? I'm just I'm just tell me I'm just

689
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:49,239
Speaker 1: the normal person. Hey, stop that. You know weird. You

690
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 1: know people on my team knew people that would come

691
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: on my team, you know, They'll they'll be asking me questions,

692
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 1: so are you excited? Do you want to are you

693
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 1: happy to be here? And be like why are you

694
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: asking me that? Like I would come off very like

695
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 1: stand office because I'm like, why are you here? Though?

696
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:13,280
Speaker 1: Like everybody suddenly here? I just want to be alone.

697
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:15,840
Speaker 2: I just want to make music and saying to be.

698
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 1: Make music, and I just I didn't handle it well.

699
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 2: Do you have any regrets about that?

700
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: You know what it is. I feel like I had

701
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 1: been in my mind rejected so much that when I

702
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 1: found people that finally accepted me, because I'm used, I

703
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 1: was so used to rejecting myself. I couldn't accept their love.

704
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 1: I couldn't accept that their acceptance. I rejected myself before

705
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 1: anybody even so I was waiting for the rejection. I

706
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 1: was expecting it. That was my normal daily life, like

707
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 1: that was my programming, you know, and I had to

708
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:03,000
Speaker 1: unlearn that. Or actually, I've never been rejected. I've always

709
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 1: been accepted. Where did this come from? Or because of

710
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:09,319
Speaker 1: one person or a few people said something when you

711
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:13,240
Speaker 1: were a child or I don't know, you know, fear, fear,

712
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 1: but it's from that, it's when you experience something that

713
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 1: feels like rejection in like your young days. That's where

714
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 1: you get this conclusion that you are not.

715
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 2: Worthy or you know, but say that fear stops a

716
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 2: lot of people from living their full you know, potential

717
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:37,759
Speaker 2: in life. That alone.

718
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 1: But that's why I always encourage people to become aware,

719
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,400
Speaker 1: get curious about this fear that you have, Like, go

720
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 1: deep it.

721
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,319
Speaker 2: How have you How have you learned so much? Have

722
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 2: you done like therapy? Have you done? Like is it

723
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 2: just prayer? Is it? How have you learned so much

724
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 2: about understanding how you work?

725
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 1: It's a combination of things. I think. Honestly, a lot

726
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,319
Speaker 1: of the things I've learned have been revealed to me

727
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 1: by God. I'm going to first say that. Secondly, I

728
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 1: didn't like the way I was like, you know, I

729
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 1: just felt like something was always off. I was always

730
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:25,319
Speaker 1: making people angry, you know, And I didn't understand why

731
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 1: I was the way I was. Sometimes I want to

732
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,840
Speaker 1: talk to someone and nothing comes out of my mouth.

733
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 1: You know, I'll just be in the corner. You know.

734
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 1: When I was in school, I would like cover my

735
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 1: head and eat with you know, I would just be

736
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 1: and I'm you're probably misunderstood, you know, And I was

737
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,840
Speaker 1: just like, I want to I don't want to be

738
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 1: this way. So why am I this way? Why can't say?

739
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 1: In my mind, I'm like, te me move and I

740
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 1: won't move, you know, or team me do something and

741
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 1: I won't say something, say something nothing, you know. And

742
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 1: that's when I realized that, Okay, I'm actually so flawed

743
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:06,280
Speaker 1: and I need help and I can't help myself. Clearly

744
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: because I read all the books. I'll say, okay, they

745
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:12,439
Speaker 1: will do They'll say, oh, write this to yourself ten

746
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 1: times in the morning, you know. And I would, and

747
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 1: it would work for like the first two days. But

748
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 1: then your natural programming, your human programming, kicks in. So

749
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 1: how can you How can I be changed? That was

750
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:31,319
Speaker 1: my goal, and I think that's what actually led me

751
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:35,480
Speaker 1: to God because I realized, like I can't do it myself.

752
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 1: I need some I need someone greater than me. And

753
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:44,480
Speaker 1: that was like my only solution, like help me, help me,

754
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 1: help me, because I don't know what's happening.

755
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 2: So what have you learned about yourself? Because you see him,

756
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:57,280
Speaker 2: I don't know. You still are like reserved and careful,

757
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 2: but you see seem more like confident in your skin

758
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 2: and where you are, and like, what have you learned

759
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:05,400
Speaker 2: about yourself that has shifted that.

760
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 1: I think what's happening now is like I'm walking more

761
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:18,359
Speaker 1: in my identity. Like I think what has changed is

762
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 1: what I believed, who I believed I was. You know,

763
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:26,640
Speaker 1: before I just believed I was in nobody. You know,

764
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,839
Speaker 1: so even when I became someone, in my mind, I

765
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:34,320
Speaker 1: was in nobody. So I shouldn't be somebody, right.

766
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 2: You didn't deserve this.

767
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:39,560
Speaker 1: I didn't deserve anything. But now it's not even about

768
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:42,279
Speaker 1: whether I deserve it or not. It's what has been

769
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 1: allocated to me. Oh you know it is. It is

770
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:50,279
Speaker 1: what has been given to me, whether I like it

771
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 1: or not. And what I'm learning is that I'm here

772
00:44:56,920 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 1: for not myself, but to be a light, to be

773
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 1: an example, to be someone that people can say, well,

774
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,319
Speaker 1: if she did it, I can too. You know, there's

775
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 1: so many labels I can say that I had. You know,

776
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:17,720
Speaker 1: I wasn't. I wasn't. You know. Autism is going around

777
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,719
Speaker 1: these days and everybody is saying they're autistic. But I've

778
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:25,400
Speaker 1: decided actually not to say that and just be timmy, like,

779
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 1: just be a child of God that is deciding to

780
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 1: be a light in the world. You know, no matter

781
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:37,719
Speaker 1: how much people throw at me I have, I'm not

782
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 1: going off my own strength. I think that's why it is.

783
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:43,280
Speaker 1: So I don't feel like I can be taking down

784
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 1: not because of my strength, but because of the strength

785
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 1: I know that I have behind me. You know, I

786
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:54,520
Speaker 1: have Like it's not me that will fight for myself.

787
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:58,400
Speaker 1: It's I don't need to fight. Actually, you know, I

788
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 1: can just be. I can just and that's what you're

789
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 1: supposed to be. You know, everything in the world works

790
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,840
Speaker 1: that way. It's you know, it's only human beings that

791
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:11,720
Speaker 1: like we're not being you're.

792
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 2: Trying to control everything.

793
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 1: It's so hurt, Like the world is so hurt. And

794
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:22,000
Speaker 1: that's why it's like, you know, like when you come out,

795
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 1: you're like, let go. When you have it your face

796
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:29,360
Speaker 1: like this your whole life. It's like, what's the concept

797
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:33,320
Speaker 1: of actually releasing your fist. You can't think of it.

798
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 1: It's like a foreign concept. So letting go is very hard, right,

799
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:42,359
Speaker 1: So I understand because that was really hard for me.

800
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 2: So you just let go.

801
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 1: I just let go. I'm still letting go. It's like

802
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 1: it's step by step process. I'm I'm not all the

803
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,280
Speaker 1: way there. I'm not. This is not my finale form

804
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:53,880
Speaker 1: at all.

805
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 2: Really, can you imagine your final form?

806
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't. I can't even imagine why you

807
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:03,680
Speaker 1: have to just be in it and wait right, Yeah,

808
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:07,240
Speaker 1: I'm still being worked on. I'm definitely not perfect.

809
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 2: But you have had of course, the evolution continues, right,

810
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:15,840
Speaker 2: but like you have had big victory moments, even in

811
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,240
Speaker 2: the intro some of the accolades. I mean, even just

812
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 2: this grammy, right when you're up there, you're accepting a grammy.

813
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 2: What does that feel like to you? Can you even

814
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 2: imagine that moment? How much up to that point does

815
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 2: it feel you know what I mean? How much does

816
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:38,600
Speaker 2: that those type of moments mean to you?

817
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 1: It just I think for me, it solid defies like

818
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 1: it just further confirms everything that I've been experiencing. It's

819
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:53,239
Speaker 1: like I'm on some great, big adventure. And especially in

820
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 1: those moments, I really feel like, yeah, I couldn't have

821
00:47:56,640 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 1: thought about this even if I tried. Was not me.

822
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:04,279
Speaker 1: This was not my vision me that I wanted to

823
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 1: sing at the bar. If somebody told me I'm going

824
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,719
Speaker 1: to give you anything you want right now, I would

825
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:13,760
Speaker 1: have told you, Yeah, I want to do the Friday

826
00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 1: Night Live that was that was going to be my

827
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:18,720
Speaker 1: vision for yourself.

828
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:19,120
Speaker 2: Yes.

829
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 1: So even when I was on that stage, I'm like,

830
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 1: this was not I know that that was not me

831
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 1: because I wrote what my dreams were and it was

832
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 1: nothing like.

833
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:35,280
Speaker 2: This at all. They say that, man.

834
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 1: So I think that's that's what comes to me, Like,

835
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 1: I know that this is definitely good. Like I couldn't

836
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:44,319
Speaker 1: have thoughts of this if I tried.

837
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, does it make you happier that you're in this

838
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:48,359
Speaker 2: space and feel disconnected?

839
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:51,760
Speaker 1: It does? It does make me. It gives me hope.

840
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:56,480
Speaker 1: I think that's the difference between me now and me

841
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:59,800
Speaker 1: ten years ago. There was no hope in my mind.

842
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 1: I didn't have hope. Really I didn't. I didn't. I

843
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 1: thought like I wasn't. I wasn't expecting much from life.

844
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 1: I was not. I wasn't someone that people like cared

845
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 1: that much about. You know. I was used to people

846
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:21,759
Speaker 1: not caring. I was okay with it though. I wasn't

847
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 1: feeling like sad or anything. I was just like, oh,

848
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:27,840
Speaker 1: nobody cares. Cool, that's great. I could do whatever I

849
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 1: want in my in my little corner, you know. But

850
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 1: I think now I have so much hope, not for me,

851
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 1: but for the world, for people, for life. There's so

852
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:48,279
Speaker 1: much to look forward to, even in the chaos, even

853
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:53,400
Speaker 1: in the in the craziness that's going on, there's still hope.

854
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 1: You know.

855
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 2: That's good to hear because it is dark out here,

856
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 2: It's very dark. Yeah. Sometimes I try to put myself

857
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 2: on a limit of how much news, Like I watch

858
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:06,520
Speaker 2: only this amount of news, and then I had to

859
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 2: start and you have to because I will be in

860
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,360
Speaker 2: just a dark place every day. That doesn't serve me,

861
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,279
Speaker 2: that doesn't serve anybody in my life, or doesn't help

862
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 2: me move around the world. I like to be informed, Yeah,

863
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 2: but I have to be like almost on a diet

864
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,399
Speaker 2: because there's so much darkness in the world. Yeah, how

865
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:24,320
Speaker 2: do you navigate through that? How do you? I guess prayer?

866
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:26,720
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, no, I do the same thing and hope.

867
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 1: I guess no. Like for me as well. I actually

868
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:34,400
Speaker 1: don't watch too much news either. I'm not in news

869
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 1: person because news is meant to be negative, like hardly

870
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 1: do they report on anything positive, like and today the

871
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:46,960
Speaker 1: positive news, the good news, the good news is that

872
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 1: this little boy was saved. You know, there's nothing like that.

873
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 2: So somebody should really do it.

874
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 1: They really need to have a positive news channel.

875
00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:58,239
Speaker 2: Yeah I would watch that.

876
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:02,399
Speaker 1: I would watch that too, that would be great. But yeah,

877
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:06,480
Speaker 1: I think I thought. I don't. After I use my phone,

878
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 1: I keep it. I though it in many different places.

879
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 1: I try and live life in reality, So I try

880
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 1: not to be online too much, especially if I'm not

881
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:22,279
Speaker 1: actively doing anything, like I'm not posting anything, I'm not like,

882
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 1: there's no reason I'm really online. After a few scrolls,

883
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:28,919
Speaker 1: I become so aware of myself, like what are you doing?

884
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:31,319
Speaker 1: You scrolling? Why?

885
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 2: So easy?

886
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:37,719
Speaker 1: Though it's so easy, you get it's like it's like, literally, no,

887
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 1: it's meant to do that. Yes, it's this, and that's

888
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:44,319
Speaker 1: why it's scary. Yeah, that's why it's so scary. And

889
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 1: that's why you can't let them get you. Like for

890
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:51,319
Speaker 1: me sometimes like it's like because it's the damage of

891
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 1: what it does to you is so ingrained in me.

892
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:57,640
Speaker 1: When I find myself scrolling, I'm like, yeah, they're getting

893
00:51:57,719 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 1: to you, they're getting to you. I switch off my

894
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:04,200
Speaker 1: I don't even go out of the app. I switch

895
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:07,120
Speaker 1: off my phone and I throw it across. I make

896
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:09,880
Speaker 1: sure I throw it behind a couch I thaw it.

897
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:12,880
Speaker 1: I just look for the furthest place and I thaw it.

898
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 1: My phone is all cracked up because I keep throwing it.

899
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:18,480
Speaker 2: It's a real thing, so it's real.

900
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:20,799
Speaker 1: I really thought it. I'm like, I believe it once

901
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 1: I went. If I'm scrolling and I catch myself doing that,

902
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:27,200
Speaker 1: I switch it off and I throw it away.

903
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 2: Because you feel it controlling you, right.

904
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:31,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can feel it the things. And I have

905
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,759
Speaker 1: a phone that has no social media. It's just for

906
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 1: communication that's smart. So even if I've thrown that phone away,

907
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:44,800
Speaker 1: people can still reach me on the non social media phone. Yeah.

908
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:46,959
Speaker 2: Hey guys. You ever sign up for a phone plan

909
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:49,239
Speaker 2: thinking Wow, what a great price, and then a few

910
00:52:49,239 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 2: months later it's like, surprise.

911
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:52,960
Speaker 1: Your bill is higher. We hate that.

912
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 2: With booth Mobile, you pay twenty five dollars a month forever,

913
00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:59,360
Speaker 2: that's unlimited talk, text, and data is starting at just

914
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 2: twenty five dollar month. There's no price hikes, there's no contract,

915
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:03,720
Speaker 2: and this is forever.

916
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:04,120
Speaker 1: Plus.

917
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 2: Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide five G network.

918
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 2: They invested billions building five G towers across the country.

919
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 2: So what you need to do is visit boostmobile dot

920
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:17,040
Speaker 2: com or head to your local Boots store today and

921
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:20,520
Speaker 2: get unlimited talk, text and data for twenty five dollars

922
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:23,120
Speaker 2: a month forever. Five g speed is not available in

923
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:26,720
Speaker 2: all areas. After thirty gigabytes, customers may experience lower speeds.

924
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 2: Customers will pay twenty five dollars a month as long

925
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:32,719
Speaker 2: as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan. All right,

926
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 2: so we have a segment. It's an IRL Voice Notes. Okay.

927
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 2: If somebody leaves a note, usually it's a fan or

928
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:41,759
Speaker 2: somebody who listens to the pod. Or Okay, how's you're

929
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:46,520
Speaker 2: going to be here? So this is from Cynthia, Cynthia

930
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 2: High Tims.

931
00:53:48,040 --> 00:53:51,600
Speaker 3: What's going on, my Nigerian Queen. My name is Cynthia Okak.

932
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:54,759
Speaker 3: I'm a journalist with Amplify Africa and I want to

933
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 3: speak to you about your heart. I'll watched an interview

934
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 3: with Donawan where he talked about a younger you. He

935
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 3: talked about a younger Tims that will come to the

936
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:07,160
Speaker 3: studio and even at the time when you didn't really

937
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 3: have much, you still chose to buy little things for

938
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:14,560
Speaker 3: the people in the studio and you still chose to give,

939
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 3: So you have a giver's heart. I want to talk

940
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:18,239
Speaker 3: to you about that.

941
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:21,360
Speaker 1: What where did those characteristics come from? Is it a

942
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:22,200
Speaker 1: faith based thing?

943
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:24,799
Speaker 3: Is it your love language? Please share?

944
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:29,000
Speaker 2: Well a sweet question, Oh, a sweet question.

945
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 1: That is really sweet. I've never thought about that before.

946
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 2: You're mad you don't remember that.

947
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:38,279
Speaker 1: I mean I remember now. It's not something that I

948
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 1: would have thought of at all.

949
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:43,279
Speaker 2: Well, are you a giver?

950
00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 1: By j I'm a giver? I'm I'm actually a chronic giver.

951
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:52,440
Speaker 1: I actually have to stop myself. I'm the kind of

952
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:53,160
Speaker 1: person that.

953
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:55,399
Speaker 2: Like, you'll give it all away, give it all away.

954
00:54:56,719 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 1: I would, you know, when I'm out with my friends,

955
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 1: I would literally be fighting with them to pay, you know,

956
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:06,879
Speaker 1: and I shouldn't be doing that because they are their

957
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,400
Speaker 1: own people. And I had to think, you know, this

958
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:12,759
Speaker 1: is not helping anyone. Stop stop trying to be the

959
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 1: one to give to pay and no, so.

960
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:19,239
Speaker 2: I was like, going for you.

961
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 1: It's actually, you know what, It's making my relationships a

962
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:28,040
Speaker 1: little bit better. Really it is, because you know what

963
00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:30,759
Speaker 1: happens when you are too much of a giver. It

964
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:36,279
Speaker 1: becomes like your identity subconsciously, so when you don't give,

965
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:39,360
Speaker 1: you feel weird. You know, you don't know how to

966
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:43,240
Speaker 1: receive anymore when you give too much, and it makes

967
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:45,840
Speaker 1: you a bit self centered, or it makes me a

968
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:50,319
Speaker 1: bit self centered, because when I don't give and I

969
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:54,040
Speaker 1: feel weird, then I feel like whatever happens in the

970
00:55:54,120 --> 00:55:57,040
Speaker 1: room was because of me, or you know, because I

971
00:55:57,080 --> 00:56:01,080
Speaker 1: didn't do something. You know. And sometimes and I overgive,

972
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 1: then the other person feels weird because they want to give,

973
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 1: you know, And imagine you wanting to give someone that

974
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 1: is never accepting what you want to give. It puts

975
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 1: a strange it makes it puts a stance between you

976
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:19,760
Speaker 1: and that person because you're saying, I want to give you,

977
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 1: but don't give me, Like this is not an exchange,

978
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:27,120
Speaker 1: this is I'm imposing my own gifts on you. Just take.

979
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:30,839
Speaker 1: I don't want, you know, if it's like it needs

980
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:34,279
Speaker 1: to love is love is a mutual thing. It's like

981
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:38,000
Speaker 1: we ad one, you know, we can't be one if

982
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:39,720
Speaker 1: it's just coming from one side.

983
00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:43,680
Speaker 2: So that's so interesting. I've never heard it that way,

984
00:56:43,719 --> 00:56:45,759
Speaker 2: but that does make sense. And also if you're the

985
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 2: only giver, then how can you find real genuine relationships

986
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:56,319
Speaker 2: because that attracts people who take, who are takers. Yeah,

987
00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:58,040
Speaker 2: and you don't want to be surrounded by a bunch

988
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:00,280
Speaker 2: of takers your whole life.

989
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:06,440
Speaker 1: That's ennightment. Actually, that's draining, exhausting, you know. And I

990
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 1: think I've learned the hard way because I definitely had

991
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:18,720
Speaker 1: a lot of takers in my life. But you just

992
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 1: went somewhere. But yeah, I think so, I've learned to

993
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:30,400
Speaker 1: be a scheerful giver, but also know when to step back,

994
00:57:31,360 --> 00:57:33,920
Speaker 1: Like I don't need to be the one that people

995
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:36,680
Speaker 1: say thank you to. I can't be the one saying

996
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:37,360
Speaker 1: thank you.

997
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, because you know, sometimes people don't realize it's

998
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:43,480
Speaker 2: a whole selfish like you said, because you want to. Yeah,

999
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 2: I took care.

1000
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,840
Speaker 1: Of everybody I took you know, I did that. Well,

1001
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:49,920
Speaker 1: we didn't ask you to exactly.

1002
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:52,040
Speaker 2: We just want to bend to say. That's funny because

1003
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:55,360
Speaker 2: I have that. I have friends that are that do

1004
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:58,360
Speaker 2: better than me in life and friends who I always

1005
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:00,760
Speaker 2: like to pay and sometimes that I can see that

1006
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:04,040
Speaker 2: becoming a thing when you're all out and you're all

1007
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:06,280
Speaker 2: equal and you're all friends, but then the one person

1008
00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:06,800
Speaker 2: wants to.

1009
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 1: Always be the show out.

1010
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 2: You know, you're like, it does put a separation, Yeah,

1011
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:13,360
Speaker 2: that's interesting, it does.

1012
00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:16,640
Speaker 1: It's very subtle, but it's so that's a hard thing,

1013
00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 1: you know, and that's you have to allow your heart

1014
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:22,120
Speaker 1: to be molded. And the giving is one of those

1015
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:26,400
Speaker 1: things that you have to like have some discipline in

1016
00:58:26,560 --> 00:58:27,080
Speaker 1: as a giver.

1017
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:28,480
Speaker 2: That's a giver.

1018
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:33,440
Speaker 1: Because you'll give it all the way I would. I

1019
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 1: would like when anybody around me is distressed, I'm like, Okay,

1020
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:38,680
Speaker 1: what are we doing? What do we need to do?

1021
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 1: Cancel everything right now? I'm not going anywhere. We're going

1022
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:45,520
Speaker 1: to stay here, We're gonna well one million, let's guess it.

1023
00:58:45,840 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 2: Let's get who stops you? Do you have somebody in

1024
00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:49,280
Speaker 2: your team or your family?

1025
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 1: Yes, I need to stop you. My managers my team,

1026
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:55,760
Speaker 1: they're like, nope, we're not doing it. And I'm like, no,

1027
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,000
Speaker 1: we are. They're like, nope, get in the car. I'm

1028
00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 1: not doing giving the car. And I'm like okay, and

1029
00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:05,960
Speaker 1: then I'm like, fain, no, it would have been nice

1030
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:11,440
Speaker 1: to give that. But you know, especially my one of

1031
00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:15,560
Speaker 1: both my managers, they're very like strong headed. I'm strong headed,

1032
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:18,520
Speaker 1: but they're like they can be also strong headed. So

1033
00:59:18,560 --> 00:59:21,160
Speaker 1: we will all do who is who is gonna who's

1034
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 1: gonna back down? And it's usually mean because I'm the

1035
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:29,880
Speaker 1: one spending all the money.

1036
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:32,680
Speaker 2: I don't know if we answer her question, there were,

1037
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 2: but the answer is so much better. We kind of

1038
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 2: answered it kind of because it comes from that was

1039
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:42,800
Speaker 2: her question. Where does that giving spirit come from? What

1040
00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:48,800
Speaker 2: is that rooted in people pleasing self worth? Because it

1041
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 2: doesn't sound like that's a godly thing.

1042
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:55,000
Speaker 1: No, I think, I mean, I think who I am

1043
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:59,439
Speaker 1: is you know, definitely God, who actually am a God?

1044
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 1: But I think think, I think it's I think it's

1045
01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:06,720
Speaker 1: something that is ingrained in me. I just know that.

1046
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:10,360
Speaker 1: When I was younger, I used to see, like in Nigeria,

1047
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:14,840
Speaker 1: there's just a lot of suffering, and I used to

1048
01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:20,320
Speaker 1: be really pained that I couldn't do anything. And I

1049
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:24,360
Speaker 1: didn't like people crying around me. I didn't like people

1050
01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:30,160
Speaker 1: being hurt. I didn't like people like looking sad, you know.

1051
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:33,040
Speaker 1: So I would just be sad just because someone else

1052
01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 1: is sady and I don't even know them. They don't

1053
01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:37,440
Speaker 1: even know me, they don't even know that I'm sad.

1054
01:00:38,120 --> 01:00:39,320
Speaker 2: Oh you're an empire.

1055
01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:42,840
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm crying. They don't even know.

1056
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:45,760
Speaker 2: And I, yeah, did you see that a lot of

1057
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:46,560
Speaker 2: that as a kid.

1058
01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:50,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did. I did. You know? My mom is

1059
01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:54,920
Speaker 1: very much she's very humanitarian, Like she used to adopt

1060
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 1: like children for like some months, for some weeks. She

1061
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:03,040
Speaker 1: just bring like a kid home and will take care

1062
01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:06,680
Speaker 1: of the kid. Some of them have, like my mom's

1063
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:09,160
Speaker 1: a doctor, so some of them had like medical conditions

1064
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:15,200
Speaker 1: they're trying to heal from, you know, and just seeing

1065
01:01:15,240 --> 01:01:19,200
Speaker 1: things like that, and on the road people that don't

1066
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 1: have just it's just like why is this happening? So

1067
01:01:23,640 --> 01:01:25,720
Speaker 1: I think for me, I just always wanted to ease

1068
01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:29,439
Speaker 1: everybody's pain, like why are you crying? Don't cry anymore? Look,

1069
01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:33,160
Speaker 1: everything is still great. Look I don't have much, but

1070
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:38,120
Speaker 1: here this should make you just come, you know, Okay,

1071
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:41,560
Speaker 1: please don't be sad anymore. Please, I don't want to cry.

1072
01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:47,880
Speaker 2: You can't take it. Take it. That's very sweet. So

1073
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:49,760
Speaker 2: maybe you are going to heal the world. That's probably

1074
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:53,320
Speaker 2: why you pray, pray to make sure you're doing it.

1075
01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:55,720
Speaker 2: You're always asking yourself, what are you're doing enough enough?

1076
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,240
Speaker 1: Yeah? I always feel like I can't do more, but

1077
01:01:59,120 --> 01:02:04,480
Speaker 1: maybe it is that I'm not ready, Like like who

1078
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:07,000
Speaker 1: I am right now is still being worked on to

1079
01:02:07,120 --> 01:02:09,920
Speaker 1: get to that level because you have to be able

1080
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:12,000
Speaker 1: to handle whatever it is.

1081
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:13,920
Speaker 2: And you also may be doing things that you're not

1082
01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 2: even aware of what you're doing. Yeah, because even today's conversation,

1083
01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:20,240
Speaker 2: I need my ball, even today's conversation, the way that

1084
01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:25,280
Speaker 2: affects someone else, you don't even know how helpful that

1085
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:27,120
Speaker 2: could be in somebody's life, You know what I mean?

1086
01:02:27,240 --> 01:02:28,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so true.

1087
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:30,200
Speaker 2: Hey, guys. Support for this podcast is brought to you

1088
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:33,880
Speaker 2: by Walden University. Have you ever thought to yourself, what

1089
01:02:33,960 --> 01:02:36,720
Speaker 2: if I could go after what I actually want and

1090
01:02:36,800 --> 01:02:39,840
Speaker 2: I could really make a difference. Well, you are not alone,

1091
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:41,600
Speaker 2: and this is exactly why I want to tell you

1092
01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:44,960
Speaker 2: about Walden University. For over fifty years, Walden has helped

1093
01:02:45,040 --> 01:02:49,040
Speaker 2: working adults like you get the w with the knowledge,

1094
01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 2: the skills and everything you need to build the future

1095
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,240
Speaker 2: that you want and you can make a difference where

1096
01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:57,000
Speaker 2: it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment,

1097
01:02:57,280 --> 01:03:00,600
Speaker 2: this is it. Head to Waldene dot ed and take

1098
01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:04,360
Speaker 2: that first step. Walden University set a course for Change,

1099
01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:07,880
Speaker 2: certified to operate by SHIV. This is our iral bowl

1100
01:03:07,960 --> 01:03:10,600
Speaker 2: in real life. Take out a couple of questions. Let's

1101
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:12,920
Speaker 2: see what's going on in Thams is real life?

1102
01:03:13,280 --> 01:03:18,600
Speaker 1: Okay? Oh, if you had to describe yourself in three words,

1103
01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:22,280
Speaker 1: what would they be? M that is so deep?

1104
01:03:22,360 --> 01:03:22,640
Speaker 2: So too.

1105
01:03:24,160 --> 01:03:25,880
Speaker 1: I can tell you what I think Your three are?

1106
01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 2: Yes, please, godly, Yes, something to do with your relationship

1107
01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:39,560
Speaker 2: with God? Uh? Empathetic, right and.

1108
01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:43,680
Speaker 1: Hopeful mm hm hm hm yes.

1109
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:46,320
Speaker 2: Oh do you feel seen?

1110
01:03:46,720 --> 01:03:50,880
Speaker 1: I feel seen? I don't know if I don't want

1111
01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:52,080
Speaker 1: to answer your question for you.

1112
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:53,840
Speaker 2: If you have other three words, you could do it,

1113
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:56,280
Speaker 2: or you could pick another ball. A question from the ball.

1114
01:03:56,360 --> 01:04:02,080
Speaker 1: Said it ohn, get another one, and then I have

1115
01:04:02,200 --> 01:04:10,000
Speaker 1: some I r ls here too. Yeah, you know writer,

1116
01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:13,720
Speaker 1: but you know that one. That one is a whole.

1117
01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:16,280
Speaker 1: Three words is a quite small.

1118
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:16,960
Speaker 2: You need a few.

1119
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:26,280
Speaker 1: This one says I'm at my best when I'm at

1120
01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:41,080
Speaker 1: my best when I let go, let go?

1121
01:04:41,600 --> 01:04:49,440
Speaker 2: You dike good? Okay? If you could master a skill instantly,

1122
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:50,440
Speaker 2: what would it be?

1123
01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:56,640
Speaker 1: Who the gift of master skill?

1124
01:04:57,840 --> 01:04:58,080
Speaker 2: Could it?

1125
01:04:58,360 --> 01:04:59,000
Speaker 1: Is it like a.

1126
01:05:00,680 --> 01:05:03,200
Speaker 2: Whatever? You could want to ride a motorcycle?

1127
01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:07,560
Speaker 1: I don't know, or that would be so cool really well,

1128
01:05:07,640 --> 01:05:10,720
Speaker 1: to be like a master. I've always wanted to be

1129
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:14,040
Speaker 1: one of those bike riders. You see what I mean?

1130
01:05:14,440 --> 01:05:17,120
Speaker 1: My dreams were creating my dreams were.

1131
01:05:18,920 --> 01:05:20,680
Speaker 2: Makes better dreams for you.

1132
01:05:21,280 --> 01:05:21,800
Speaker 1: He don't.

1133
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:23,280
Speaker 2: You would have been performing on.

1134
01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:30,680
Speaker 1: Friday on your motorcycles. Literally, I actually would. I always

1135
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:35,480
Speaker 1: want it. I used to admire like bike bike riders.

1136
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:36,760
Speaker 2: Like what like really like like what like.

1137
01:05:36,800 --> 01:05:41,200
Speaker 1: Just the really cool bikes that like just in movies,

1138
01:05:42,160 --> 01:05:45,000
Speaker 1: you know, take the helmets off and always the girl

1139
01:05:45,120 --> 01:05:50,840
Speaker 1: yeah you know, and I'm yeah, I'm tough, badass on

1140
01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:57,880
Speaker 1: the bike. I think the skill, the ability probably to

1141
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:11,920
Speaker 1: two persuade. Mm, you want to rule the world. I

1142
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:14,120
Speaker 1: think that would be the best gift, because you could

1143
01:06:14,120 --> 01:06:17,240
Speaker 1: persuade any want to do anything. But I wouldn't I

1144
01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:18,400
Speaker 1: want to rule the world.

1145
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:22,680
Speaker 2: Obviously, what would be the first matter of business as

1146
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:24,200
Speaker 2: a professional persuader.

1147
01:06:24,800 --> 01:06:29,680
Speaker 1: I'll call a meeting of all the world leaders. We're

1148
01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:32,600
Speaker 1: gonna sit in the room, and by the time we

1149
01:06:32,720 --> 01:06:37,680
Speaker 1: come out of the room, yeah, peace, peace, Yeah, well

1150
01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:40,240
Speaker 1: yeah what love? Peace and love?

1151
01:06:41,480 --> 01:06:42,479
Speaker 2: You put them all in check?

1152
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:45,000
Speaker 1: Well, the thing is, I'll be I would have the

1153
01:06:45,040 --> 01:06:48,600
Speaker 1: gift of persuasion, so they will all be persuaded. I

1154
01:06:48,600 --> 01:06:51,640
Speaker 1: wouldn't even need to put them in check. They would

1155
01:06:51,720 --> 01:06:54,040
Speaker 1: just be so convinced that they didn't know what they

1156
01:06:54,040 --> 01:06:58,000
Speaker 1: were doing before. They just walk out of the room

1157
01:06:58,080 --> 01:07:00,560
Speaker 1: like wow, everything she said it sense? What have we

1158
01:07:00,640 --> 01:07:01,560
Speaker 1: been doing? Guys?

1159
01:07:01,720 --> 01:07:04,480
Speaker 2: You really do want to heal the world. It is

1160
01:07:04,560 --> 01:07:06,800
Speaker 2: your nature to really want to heal the world.

1161
01:07:06,880 --> 01:07:09,280
Speaker 1: I mean, like that's the first thing that is like

1162
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:12,000
Speaker 1: the most important, Like how can you have I can't,

1163
01:07:12,120 --> 01:07:14,160
Speaker 1: we can't. We don't know what's going to happen. So

1164
01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:16,800
Speaker 1: how can we truly have peace when the whole world

1165
01:07:16,880 --> 01:07:20,120
Speaker 1: is at war? You know? So I think that's the

1166
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:24,720
Speaker 1: first solution. Let's address this first. Then I can enjoy

1167
01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:30,240
Speaker 1: my life on a yacht somewhere as you should. As

1168
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:31,160
Speaker 1: you should know.

1169
01:07:32,640 --> 01:07:35,240
Speaker 2: What is your guilty pleasure in real life?

1170
01:07:35,840 --> 01:07:42,560
Speaker 1: Guilty pleasure? Oh yeah, I am a shopperholic. I think, well,

1171
01:07:42,560 --> 01:07:48,760
Speaker 1: I'm not a schopper halic. I experienced symptoms of being

1172
01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:52,920
Speaker 1: in shopper holly. Okay, I am going to get it,

1173
01:07:53,120 --> 01:07:55,760
Speaker 1: get it, okay. I go into a store. They could

1174
01:07:55,800 --> 01:07:58,960
Speaker 1: be selling I don't know, rap, poison, and I would

1175
01:07:58,960 --> 01:08:02,520
Speaker 1: buy at least different types of what I even when

1176
01:08:02,560 --> 01:08:05,320
Speaker 1: I don't have rats. You want to buy it, I'm buying.

1177
01:08:05,360 --> 01:08:07,920
Speaker 1: I go into a store and I'm doing something in

1178
01:08:07,960 --> 01:08:12,520
Speaker 1: that store, you show serious signs in I do. I

1179
01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:15,440
Speaker 1: don't know why I do such things. I really don't.

1180
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:19,000
Speaker 1: That's so now that I'm away, before I go anywhere,

1181
01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:21,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, once I step in here, I know I'm

1182
01:08:21,720 --> 01:08:24,360
Speaker 1: buying something. So do I really want to step in here?

1183
01:08:24,520 --> 01:08:28,280
Speaker 2: Oh my god? I like this question for you terms

1184
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:32,320
Speaker 2: in real life? What are you most proud of about yourself? Hmm?

1185
01:08:38,360 --> 01:08:44,639
Speaker 1: In real life, I am really proud that.

1186
01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:48,400
Speaker 2: I think about it.

1187
01:08:48,600 --> 01:08:53,799
Speaker 1: I've stood on business in certain aspects of my life.

1188
01:08:54,439 --> 01:08:57,640
Speaker 1: Like I said no and I never went back to

1189
01:08:58,120 --> 01:09:02,439
Speaker 1: certain things, vices people. I just said no and I

1190
01:09:02,640 --> 01:09:06,320
Speaker 1: stood on that. I'm not a record. I'm not. I'm

1191
01:09:06,320 --> 01:09:09,240
Speaker 1: not an addict to anything. I'm not you know I do.

1192
01:09:09,360 --> 01:09:14,800
Speaker 1: I'm not in any toxic, toxic situations. I just I

1193
01:09:14,880 --> 01:09:17,880
Speaker 1: know when something isn't for me and I say no,

1194
01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:18,880
Speaker 1: and that's it.

1195
01:09:19,600 --> 01:09:22,200
Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, that is to be proud of.

1196
01:09:24,640 --> 01:09:25,040
Speaker 1: Like that.

1197
01:09:25,280 --> 01:09:30,840
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, even in love, are you that? Well?

1198
01:09:31,040 --> 01:09:34,040
Speaker 1: To be fair, I am like that, but in a

1199
01:09:34,160 --> 01:09:37,479
Speaker 1: forgiving way. So I don't cut off out of anger

1200
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:41,960
Speaker 1: or out of hurt or anything. It's just out of

1201
01:09:42,080 --> 01:09:45,200
Speaker 1: understanding that the best thing for you right now is

1202
01:09:45,280 --> 01:09:48,240
Speaker 1: to not have me in your life. Actually you don't

1203
01:09:48,280 --> 01:09:50,400
Speaker 1: need it. I'm not all you need. You know.

1204
01:09:52,520 --> 01:09:53,120
Speaker 2: That's pretty good.

1205
01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:58,000
Speaker 1: Like I see what you did there, no, you know,

1206
01:09:58,080 --> 01:09:58,960
Speaker 1: no put intended.

1207
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:01,640
Speaker 2: But I I love that in that song that you

1208
01:10:01,680 --> 01:10:04,559
Speaker 2: say that though, because it's not you know, people break

1209
01:10:04,640 --> 01:10:07,479
Speaker 2: up relationships and then usually a lot of the songs

1210
01:10:07,479 --> 01:10:10,280
Speaker 2: is somebody left me or yeah, or you did something

1211
01:10:10,360 --> 01:10:11,000
Speaker 2: so bad to me.

1212
01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:14,840
Speaker 1: You're like you. I'm like you, what you need is

1213
01:10:15,160 --> 01:10:19,920
Speaker 1: something different. You're not here yet. You know you're not

1214
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:24,080
Speaker 1: here yet, and that's okay. I'm actually not like you're

1215
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:28,760
Speaker 1: not We're not you know. So for me when I

1216
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:33,000
Speaker 1: when I do cut people off, it's not like without

1217
01:10:33,120 --> 01:10:37,040
Speaker 1: explanation as well, it's like it's like I don't I

1218
01:10:37,080 --> 01:10:40,320
Speaker 1: don't talk too much, but I just like, so, this

1219
01:10:40,439 --> 01:10:45,720
Speaker 1: is what's going to happen now, okay, And I want

1220
01:10:45,760 --> 01:10:48,000
Speaker 1: you to know that you are you can do so

1221
01:10:48,120 --> 01:10:51,840
Speaker 1: much better, and I believe in you and I have

1222
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:52,599
Speaker 1: faith in you.

1223
01:10:52,720 --> 01:10:55,360
Speaker 2: Oh this is killing them, Okay, Yes.

1224
01:10:55,160 --> 01:10:57,280
Speaker 1: I have faith and I know that I'm going to

1225
01:10:57,360 --> 01:11:00,320
Speaker 1: see you successful in the future. And I am really

1226
01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:03,120
Speaker 1: happy when they're successful when I don't.

1227
01:11:03,120 --> 01:11:04,920
Speaker 2: Really, this is how you break up with people.

1228
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:12,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, well the thing is by then it's not

1229
01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:15,080
Speaker 1: it's not an emotional thing. I'm not emotional. I don't

1230
01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:20,000
Speaker 1: feel hurt. I've already like cried. Yeah, well I've already

1231
01:11:20,040 --> 01:11:23,040
Speaker 1: done everything I need to do because for me, once

1232
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:29,240
Speaker 1: someone is presenting symptoms, right, I have to diagnose it.

1233
01:11:29,720 --> 01:11:31,760
Speaker 1: You know what I'm shying. I have to give you

1234
01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:35,040
Speaker 1: a diagnosis, like, Okay, this is what this person is

1235
01:11:35,080 --> 01:11:40,280
Speaker 1: experiencing out of love? What does this person need right now?

1236
01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:44,600
Speaker 1: What does this person have to work with? And what

1237
01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:48,240
Speaker 1: what can I do to help this person? And sometimes

1238
01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:51,760
Speaker 1: that means I'm not in your life because I also

1239
01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:54,360
Speaker 1: have to think about myself and if I'm not good,

1240
01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:57,080
Speaker 1: how can I How can I help you? If you're

1241
01:11:57,280 --> 01:12:01,639
Speaker 1: making if you're triggering me, or if we're not meeting

1242
01:12:01,680 --> 01:12:06,400
Speaker 1: eye to eye, then what could I possibly do for you? Like,

1243
01:12:06,479 --> 01:12:09,400
Speaker 1: even if I wanted to help you, I really can't actually,

1244
01:12:10,120 --> 01:12:12,880
Speaker 1: because you are not in the states where you can

1245
01:12:13,000 --> 01:12:14,120
Speaker 1: even let me help you.

1246
01:12:15,280 --> 01:12:20,000
Speaker 2: This is the most grown up way to break up

1247
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:23,519
Speaker 2: with somebody I've ever heard of, or to cut somebody off.

1248
01:12:23,640 --> 01:12:26,799
Speaker 2: It is the most mature adult way that I've ever heard.

1249
01:12:27,160 --> 01:12:30,120
Speaker 2: Are you really like this in every like, are you

1250
01:12:30,320 --> 01:12:33,200
Speaker 2: that non emotional about it?

1251
01:12:33,800 --> 01:12:37,439
Speaker 1: I mean, the thing is yes, I am. I am

1252
01:12:37,479 --> 01:12:41,960
Speaker 1: non emotional about it. I think obviously I do have emotions,

1253
01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:46,080
Speaker 1: and I sought. What I do is I saw through

1254
01:12:46,120 --> 01:12:49,760
Speaker 1: my emotions, I get all the information I need, Like

1255
01:12:49,840 --> 01:12:53,639
Speaker 1: this is how I feel. This is the reality separate

1256
01:12:53,680 --> 01:12:58,040
Speaker 1: from how I feel. This is the fruits that this

1257
01:12:58,080 --> 01:13:02,360
Speaker 1: person is producing. This is everything this person touches looks

1258
01:13:02,400 --> 01:13:07,080
Speaker 1: like this, and everything that I touch looks like this.

1259
01:13:07,080 --> 01:13:10,200
Speaker 1: This is what this person has to offer realistically, this

1260
01:13:10,320 --> 01:13:14,080
Speaker 1: is what I have to offer. Clearly we are not compatible.

1261
01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:18,280
Speaker 1: So now emotion is gone because it's not even about

1262
01:13:18,280 --> 01:13:22,439
Speaker 1: whether I want you or it's not about wanting. You

1263
01:13:22,520 --> 01:13:27,600
Speaker 1: are not for me, like it's all an illusion, the

1264
01:13:27,640 --> 01:13:30,719
Speaker 1: feeling of wanting illusion because you can wake up tomorrow

1265
01:13:31,040 --> 01:13:33,479
Speaker 1: and you don't want that person anymore. That's not love.

1266
01:13:34,800 --> 01:13:40,519
Speaker 1: So love is actually seen beyond your wants and thinking

1267
01:13:40,560 --> 01:13:43,800
Speaker 1: about what does this person need right now as a

1268
01:13:43,880 --> 01:13:49,080
Speaker 1: human being, like to be better as a human What

1269
01:13:49,120 --> 01:13:52,200
Speaker 1: does this person actually need and whatever that thing is.

1270
01:13:52,320 --> 01:13:54,519
Speaker 1: I don't have the answers, but I know that I

1271
01:13:54,640 --> 01:13:59,720
Speaker 1: need to get away from you, as Sue that's possible.

1272
01:14:01,479 --> 01:14:03,679
Speaker 1: So I'm going to do this nicely. Because you're human.

1273
01:14:04,640 --> 01:14:07,240
Speaker 1: I guess that you're working through some things. I don't

1274
01:14:07,320 --> 01:14:13,599
Speaker 1: judge you, I don't blame you, but goodbye. Wow.

1275
01:14:14,960 --> 01:14:21,960
Speaker 2: Women struggle with that, you know, separating emotion and practicality

1276
01:14:22,680 --> 01:14:26,439
Speaker 2: and just truth, you know what I mean. They struggle

1277
01:14:26,479 --> 01:14:29,719
Speaker 2: with that. Have you always been as like a gift?

1278
01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:33,000
Speaker 1: I guess no, no, I've not. I also struggle with that.

1279
01:14:33,040 --> 01:14:36,520
Speaker 1: I'm very I used to be so emotional, like incredibly,

1280
01:14:37,200 --> 01:14:40,960
Speaker 1: But it's the awareness thing. I think from me wanting

1281
01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:43,640
Speaker 1: to be so aware of myself, like I want to know,

1282
01:14:43,920 --> 01:14:47,320
Speaker 1: like I've been researching and researching, like what why do

1283
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:49,320
Speaker 1: we feel this way? Why do we do that? I'm

1284
01:14:49,520 --> 01:14:51,720
Speaker 1: asked so many all the questions you can think of.

1285
01:14:52,400 --> 01:14:55,400
Speaker 1: I've gone to find the answers. So I think in

1286
01:14:55,479 --> 01:14:59,400
Speaker 1: that journey is when I realize, oh, this thing I

1287
01:14:59,439 --> 01:15:01,479
Speaker 1: feel if felt like the end of the world, but

1288
01:15:01,520 --> 01:15:04,800
Speaker 1: it really wasn't the end of the world. So that

1289
01:15:05,040 --> 01:15:08,559
Speaker 1: means that this thing is an illusion, you know, and you.

1290
01:15:08,520 --> 01:15:10,640
Speaker 2: Figure it out and you trust the answer.

1291
01:15:10,439 --> 01:15:12,639
Speaker 1: You know. So I'm like, Okay, so how do I

1292
01:15:12,680 --> 01:15:16,240
Speaker 1: come out of this when I feel it let's start researching,

1293
01:15:16,439 --> 01:15:18,559
Speaker 1: you know, and that's how I worked my way up.

1294
01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:21,320
Speaker 2: You know, what's so exciting about you is that because

1295
01:15:21,320 --> 01:15:24,160
Speaker 2: you're in such a state of learning all the time,

1296
01:15:24,439 --> 01:15:28,920
Speaker 2: like to watch your progression, Like I can't wait to

1297
01:15:28,960 --> 01:15:32,000
Speaker 2: sit with you. You know, God, will it whatever in

1298
01:15:32,040 --> 01:15:35,960
Speaker 2: two years or three years, to see what life has

1299
01:15:36,080 --> 01:15:39,400
Speaker 2: taught you and brought you along by that point.

1300
01:15:39,920 --> 01:15:41,200
Speaker 1: I don't even know what. That's good.

1301
01:15:42,200 --> 01:15:43,080
Speaker 2: It'll be fun.

1302
01:15:44,479 --> 01:15:44,800
Speaker 1: Like that.

1303
01:15:45,160 --> 01:15:47,480
Speaker 2: It would be fun to see. Yeah, in the meantime,

1304
01:15:48,120 --> 01:15:49,800
Speaker 2: what do people need to know? Now?

1305
01:15:49,840 --> 01:15:50,559
Speaker 1: As we wrap up?

1306
01:15:50,600 --> 01:15:54,920
Speaker 2: What does this next chapter for you look like? I mean,

1307
01:15:54,960 --> 01:15:56,639
Speaker 2: you're still kind of in it, right, I would imagine

1308
01:15:56,680 --> 01:15:59,679
Speaker 2: because you're still in this, you just drop this music,

1309
01:16:00,040 --> 01:16:03,560
Speaker 2: You're still on the road. But I don't know, what

1310
01:16:04,040 --> 01:16:07,240
Speaker 2: do you envision for yourself? This next times chapter looks

1311
01:16:07,280 --> 01:16:12,480
Speaker 2: like hmm, personally, and I guess your career personally.

1312
01:16:12,760 --> 01:16:15,639
Speaker 1: I think I'm more grounded now. So what I'm trying

1313
01:16:15,720 --> 01:16:21,680
Speaker 1: to do is sew my seeds. I think now is

1314
01:16:21,680 --> 01:16:28,000
Speaker 1: the times of sow seeds and plant trees and meet people.

1315
01:16:28,120 --> 01:16:31,559
Speaker 1: I'm ready to get out there and talk to people.

1316
01:16:32,240 --> 01:16:35,479
Speaker 1: I'm ready to get that out there and make more music.

1317
01:16:35,640 --> 01:16:37,599
Speaker 1: Music is always going to be part of my life.

1318
01:16:38,600 --> 01:16:42,479
Speaker 1: And also I'm moving away from seeing myself as one

1319
01:16:42,680 --> 01:16:45,240
Speaker 1: thing like, oh, yes, I am a musician. But now

1320
01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:49,080
Speaker 1: I'm realizing that I have gifts in many other things,

1321
01:16:49,640 --> 01:16:54,000
Speaker 1: like pattern recognition and applying that in like business and

1322
01:16:54,479 --> 01:16:58,320
Speaker 1: learning about business, learning about the world, learning about politics.

1323
01:16:58,400 --> 01:17:02,080
Speaker 1: I think because I'm really trying to learn a lot.

1324
01:17:02,160 --> 01:17:08,840
Speaker 1: I think this next chapter is diversification. You know of investments.

1325
01:17:09,479 --> 01:17:13,439
Speaker 2: Wow, well, I really can't wait for it. Next me

1326
01:17:13,560 --> 01:17:15,880
Speaker 2: to wait. One last question that's in the boat.

1327
01:17:15,960 --> 01:17:16,240
Speaker 1: All right.

1328
01:17:16,520 --> 01:17:18,160
Speaker 2: I love this question. I wish you would have got it,

1329
01:17:18,160 --> 01:17:20,599
Speaker 2: but I'm gonna pull it for you. Okay. If God

1330
01:17:20,680 --> 01:17:26,240
Speaker 2: were to text you right now, what would it say? Wow? Deep?

1331
01:17:27,680 --> 01:17:29,200
Speaker 1: If God were to text.

1332
01:17:28,920 --> 01:17:31,760
Speaker 2: You, like on that phone that you don't have the

1333
01:17:31,760 --> 01:17:35,599
Speaker 2: social media, honest, just would you get a text and

1334
01:17:35,600 --> 01:17:46,040
Speaker 2: it's from God? What does this say I.

1335
01:17:45,920 --> 01:17:46,479
Speaker 1: Am with you?

1336
01:17:49,120 --> 01:17:50,000
Speaker 2: Is there an emoji?

1337
01:17:52,280 --> 01:17:55,160
Speaker 1: He would probably be like my daughter, I am with you.

1338
01:17:56,320 --> 01:17:59,719
Speaker 1: I don't He might do any emoji, but I can't.

1339
01:17:59,720 --> 01:18:02,920
Speaker 1: I can't put myself in a place of God that

1340
01:18:03,439 --> 01:18:06,280
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't know what he would actually text

1341
01:18:06,320 --> 01:18:12,439
Speaker 1: me in reality, But I imagine that that's what he might,

1342
01:18:13,000 --> 01:18:14,960
Speaker 1: but I know that what he would really text me

1343
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:17,760
Speaker 1: if he did, would be so much better than you

1344
01:18:17,800 --> 01:18:19,160
Speaker 1: can from what I just said.

1345
01:18:21,160 --> 01:18:24,880
Speaker 2: That's perfectly aligned with who you are. Yeah, that's terms

1346
01:18:24,880 --> 01:18:30,320
Speaker 2: in real life. That question is so funny because it

1347
01:18:30,360 --> 01:18:33,320
Speaker 2: really always reveals so much about people and the fact

1348
01:18:33,320 --> 01:18:35,679
Speaker 2: that you can't even answer it because you're so much

1349
01:18:35,800 --> 01:18:39,759
Speaker 2: in your faith that you don't even want to pretend

1350
01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:42,280
Speaker 2: that you can answer it better than he would answer it. No,

1351
01:18:42,400 --> 01:18:45,439
Speaker 2: that that that question always is very telling about people.

1352
01:18:48,240 --> 01:18:50,200
Speaker 1: This is Tams in real life.

1353
01:18:50,520 --> 01:18:54,000
Speaker 2: Hey guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like comments,

1354
01:18:54,280 --> 01:18:56,320
Speaker 2: and check out all of the other episodes we have

1355
01:18:56,360 --> 01:18:58,160
Speaker 2: on Edge. Martinez I Ral Podcast