WEBVTT - Is This Space Really Safe? 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.920 Native Plan Pod is a production of iHeartRadio and partnership 0:00:02.920 --> 0:00:07.200 with Recent Choice Media. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:12.639 all right, Welcome home, everybody. This is Tiffany Gross, Andrew 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:15.040 Gailam and Angela Rai and you are tuned into this 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:19.320 week's mini pod. Welcome Home. Welcome Home is not enthusiastic enough. 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:25.560 Welcome, we mean it, We mean it. 0:00:25.600 --> 0:00:26.440 I mean it. 0:00:26.560 --> 0:00:28.400 I don't have to yell to be we mean it. 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:31.800 Welcome home. This is our home and this is your home. 0:00:32.520 --> 0:00:37.519 And just like any family, we have disagreements sometimes, and 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:39.800 so we thought it was important to share one of 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:43.280 those more heated, intense discussions that we had last week 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:47.279 with you all, and to know that right after that 0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:50.840 podcast was over, maybe ten minutes after everybody was good, 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:54.600 we were all all back, because that's how it works 0:00:55.000 --> 0:00:55.880 with family. 0:00:56.000 --> 0:00:58.319 Well, you skip some steps, but I'll let you have it. 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:01.040 What do you we can say what we want to 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:03.360 say about it. And Andrew, do you want me to 0:01:03.360 --> 0:01:06.440 say the whole thing or do you want me to say. 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:09.160 I'll say this is I knew that in the moment 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:13.000 while we had already had a long day, and then 0:01:13.080 --> 0:01:16.280 of course we got to the subject of what value 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:19.520 each of us puts on what we choose and desire 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:23.360 to platform. And that does feel a little personal because 0:01:23.360 --> 0:01:25.760 you're now asking me what lens, what vet do I 0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:28.880 put on on on what I think we should be 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:31.760 talking about on the show, and to the extent that 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:35.839 we scrutinize each other's you know, vetting, it could feel 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:38.240 real personal. So I completely got that. But I will 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:40.720 sell you this and I think I said this angelout tip. 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:43.560 I can't remember who one of y'all that. What I 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:49.280 knew in that moment, although it was very tense and whatnot, 0:01:49.920 --> 0:01:52.720 was that we were not going to leave New York 0:01:53.360 --> 0:01:58.360 without resolution, which is not something that I would bet on. 0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:03.600 And many really relationships that I know of, friendships, romantic 0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:09.040 relationships are otherwise where you have confidence that there's enough 0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:13.560 love and respect in this space that before we leave 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:17.919 this place we will be reconciled, even if it is 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:20.320 we still disagree. But guess what, it was never my 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:25.320 intention to hurt you and not I'm really sorry that 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:28.239 you were hurt by what I say, like that backhanded thing. 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:33.160 Right fact, that's not going to happen because that's not 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:34.880 who we are that's not who we are at this 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:37.400 stage in our lives. And the other thing that I 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:40.120 appreciate about who we are and not who we are 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:42.200 about this stage in our lives is that I don't 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:45.200 think either of us feel like we've got to beast 0:02:46.200 --> 0:02:49.160 one another like we got to one up end. I 0:02:49.200 --> 0:02:51.639 don't feel like I have anything to prove to either 0:02:51.680 --> 0:02:53.440 one of you. What I felt like I want to 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:56.600 do is to show up as my best self every time, 0:02:57.320 --> 0:03:00.440 and even in those moments where I can't. I want 0:03:00.440 --> 0:03:02.400 to be able to count on the fact that y'all 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:04.800 know me well enough that you and loved me and 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:07.720 care for me enough that you'll have grace and those 0:03:07.760 --> 0:03:12.240 moments where we can't. And so I just I know 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:14.799 y'all have more to say about this, because you had 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:17.760 some after conversation. I just felt like, I know it's 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:19.800 heated right now, but you know what, keep it pushing 0:03:20.120 --> 0:03:23.120 because we're not leaving this space without feeling complete. 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:26.720 I love that. I think you know. 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:30.320 I was feeling really defensive, and I was telling Tiff 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:33.400 when we walked out of the room, like we were 0:03:33.440 --> 0:03:36.160 all walking down the stairs quietly. We recorded some other 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:39.600 evergreen content that honestly, it might end up being trash 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:42.640 because my energy was completely off. I wouldn't even hardly 0:03:42.640 --> 0:03:44.839 look at tiv I was like lookingside was talking about 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:47.600 Andrew feels like he was talking himself, which doesn't just 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:48.440 happen when we're mad. 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:50.920 Sometimes Andrew to preach it anyway by himself. 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:53.840 He'd be like, somebody gonna get it, hello, lights. But 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:56.360 the bottom line is I literally walked out the room 0:03:56.400 --> 0:03:57.760 and I turned around the Tivy. I was like, you 0:03:57.880 --> 0:04:00.360 hurt my feelings, and I was in tears, and then 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:02.520 she was like, don't cry. You're gonna make me cry, 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:05.480 and that is I mean, that's it. I think that 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:10.240 part of I think part of what happened is, you know, 0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:14.360 a lot of times in life people aren't in tune 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:16.840 with where they are on their journeys. 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:17.520 And so. 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:21.840 I think I've done a lot of work from a 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:26.240 therapy perspective to like, no, oh, this person was rising 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:28.920 up because sixth grade Angela showed up. 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:30.920 I was feeling bullied. 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:34.279 Nobody was saying anything to bully me, but I was 0:04:34.320 --> 0:04:37.800 feeling it, and Tiff give it. Being the media strategy 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:39.520 she is, she was like, oh my god, I could 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:42.560 see that because you were literally sandwich between me and Andrew 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:43.600 and we were on the same side. 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:45.479 You were in the middle, so you're like squished. I 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:47.280 was like, oh my god, I didn't even think about that. 0:04:47.760 --> 0:04:49.719 So there's that. Plus I'm not sleeping. 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:53.120 We're working really hard on Marilyn Moseby's petition, like there's 0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:56.040 so many things happening. I'm waking up at tiffany hours, 0:04:56.040 --> 0:04:57.760 and for any of you all that know me, no, 0:04:57.960 --> 0:04:59.760 like I'm a night out, so that means I'm sleeping 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:03.279 like three or four hours right now. So I think 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:05.320 I was uniquely tender from that, just like when you 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:07.279 have a little kid with if it's your child, you know, 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:08.839 it's like, oh, no, you need to go to bed. 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:12.279 It was one of those sleepy you're not thinking clearly, 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:15.279 you're you know, you're delirious, and I just I was 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:18.799 feeling tender, and so I thank God for this safe 0:05:19.200 --> 0:05:23.279 podspace that we've created where I could say I'm feeling tender. 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:25.600 And when Tiff said you think I said. 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:28.760 That, how I heard it was very different than her 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:32.160 intention because she started feeling defensive, like, how could you possibly. 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:33.240 Think I was saying that? And then I was like 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:34.800 why would you talk to me in that towne? 0:05:34.880 --> 0:05:37.080 And then we were crying, and then Andrew missed all 0:05:37.080 --> 0:05:39.440 the tears, but I think deep down somewhere he probably 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:41.720 had one single thug tear, because. 0:05:43.600 --> 0:05:45.360 Every now and then not the glory tear too. 0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:49.000 But I will also just say I think one of 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:51.600 the things that that moment did for me, you guys, 0:05:51.960 --> 0:05:57.120 is it made me connect to what our listeners may 0:05:57.120 --> 0:06:01.279 have felt when they talked about how answer questions. And 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:04.599 so the question I have today really is, in this 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:08.800 space that we created, our pod, our unique little bubble, 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:13.560 our safety bubble, what is our obligation to each other 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:16.680 and then to our broader audience to hold that safe space, 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:20.760 to ensure that people don't feel over attacked, that they 0:06:21.240 --> 0:06:23.719 don't feel like they're being put on the defensive, that 0:06:23.760 --> 0:06:26.520 they don't feel like we're trivializing what they say, and 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:29.839 certainly that we're not doing that to each other. And 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:32.800 then what is our responsibility when somebody may have a 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:35.320 trigger that maybe we're not even aware of. 0:06:35.279 --> 0:06:37.320 Like how do you navigate that space? 0:06:37.400 --> 0:06:40.080 I think this is one thing that will help us 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:42.760 not only be a better podcast, but better people to 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:46.440 be in relationship with whether it's your church, community, your family, 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:50.680 your friends, whomever, like, what is our responsibility collectively and 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:52.960 as individuals to create safety? 0:06:53.960 --> 0:06:59.840 Sure, well, I will give my assessment and answering that question. 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:00.800 I think. 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:06.719 You know, Angela, you carry a lot, and we're all 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:11.120 Type A person out like extreme Type A personalities, and 0:07:11.640 --> 0:07:14.240 it's very few people being a Type A personality. It's 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:16.320 very few people I'm going to trust that you have 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:19.200 it all together. But Angela is definitely one of those people. 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:21.480 If Angel's like I'm taking lead on this, I trust 0:07:21.800 --> 0:07:24.720 that you have it all together. So my takeaway might 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:26.360 be a little different from both of you guys. My 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:30.840 takeaway is just because there are people in your life 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:32.880 and your circle who are always on top of things, 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:36.320 who always have it together, we have to also caution 0:07:36.480 --> 0:07:41.200 ourselves that we're not doing the superwoman myths on these people, 0:07:41.360 --> 0:07:44.720 you know, because honestly, the way I thought, I expected 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:46.800 this to be a brawl and how we cover, but 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:48.640 not a brawl in the way that it was. But 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:50.960 that Angel's going to feel really strongly and come back 0:07:50.960 --> 0:07:52.440 and say, well, let me tell you why you and 0:07:52.440 --> 0:07:56.760 Andrew are wrong. And I think I did not in 0:07:56.800 --> 0:08:01.280 that moment hold space for everything and was feeling and 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:04.680 going through and doing and so the lesson I think 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:07.080 as a takeaway is don't assume because the person in 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:09.600 your life does always juggle on everything, is always on 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:12.800 top of it. Is always that person. Like we all 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:16.240 have a right to, you know, have a moment. You know, 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:18.960 ANGELI are always quick to take ownership of things. And 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:21.400 I'm like, I don't think it's all on anybody, you know, 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:23.920 I think it's in how we all collectively hold space 0:08:23.920 --> 0:08:28.560 for each other. I'm giving sometimes, you know, Andrew was, 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.280 you know, saying we needn't be so high brow or whatever. 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:33.520 Like Andrew says said that to me sometimes, and I 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:35.200 wanted him to say it on air that day because 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:37.280 I'm like, they're probably people out there who feel that way. 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:37.560 You know. 0:08:38.080 --> 0:08:43.600 I like highlighting our different perspectives and disagreement because we 0:08:43.800 --> 0:08:45.480 you know, we get to do that here. We didn't 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:47.400 get to do that in other spaces because we were 0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:51.160 like under the umbrella of like black commentators. But the 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:54.080 the we're not homogeneous in our community and so we 0:08:54.120 --> 0:08:56.400 get to have these nuanced disagreements in what we cover. 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:59.520 I thought it was a really robust conversation that one. 0:09:00.400 --> 0:09:03.439 I don't like when things escalate to that level. But 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:06.120 the comfort in being friends with people for multiple decades, 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:09.439 as you know, there's is family, and it's going where 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:11.000 we wanted to be good and not we're going to 0:09:11.080 --> 0:09:15.160 be good, you know. And we communicate spoken and unspoken, 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:18.440 you know. And so I wish Andrew had been on 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:21.040 his job and had been following me and behind the 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:26.439 scenes footage and getting us hugging in the alley whatever. 0:09:26.679 --> 0:09:30.840 But it it just I thought, it's a different lesson, 0:09:31.000 --> 0:09:32.600 I know. But then you should have been out there 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:34.400 on camera with your camera phone. 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:37.199 No, I shouldn't have sas not loving hip hop to 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:40.640 like our vts. 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:44.400 And I think we all deal with like these things differently, right, 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:47.040 So Angela at a different point may have needed us 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:50.360 to lean in or to pull out. But you and 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:54.920 I may have a different relationship with conflict or with 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:57.560 the way in which conflict is handled. So, for instance, 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:01.400 if things get too emotional for a long time, for me, 0:10:01.480 --> 0:10:05.720 if things got really emotional, my first comment was, and 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:08.640 Jay is going to like, amen, this was You're not 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:11.880 a victim. We both have our grievances here, this is you, 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:13.640 This is where I am da da, but neither of 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:16.920 us are victims here. And it was now that in reflection, 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:21.200 I'm thinking, what a harsh insense it is, and like 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:25.120 non loving way to approach a conflict is to say 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:28.959 like you're not a victim. That is like the worst 0:10:29.000 --> 0:10:32.360 place to go with it. And thank God for Angela 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:34.240 introducing me to therapy in a way that I had 0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:38.120 never been before really helped me to get outside of it, 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:41.160 because the only thing I needed to hear was how 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:43.920 are you feeling? And whether I feel like I did 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:47.880 something to necessitate that or not. The truth is is 0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:50.920 that a person who I love and cared deeply about 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:53.560 reacted to a thing that I did or said in 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:56.360 this way, and that isn't what I want to happen. 0:10:56.760 --> 0:10:58.680 I want you to hear me, clearly, but I certainly 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:01.280 don't want to level you in the process. I don't 0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:03.480 want you to walk away feeling like you're less intelligent, 0:11:03.559 --> 0:11:06.000 or you have less to contribute, or that your voices 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:09.920 and as important or as valued. And I'll just disclose. 0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:13.040 You know, Angelina, I had a conversation yesterday after our 0:11:13.160 --> 0:11:16.600 don Limit interview, and I was, you know, saying to 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:19.840 her that you know, I've sort of gotten used to, 0:11:20.240 --> 0:11:23.480 at least in some ways in our podcast, like not 0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:29.840 really fighting for the space in every conversation. Like if 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:33.480 comments are being had or being said and either I'm 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:37.000 not invited directly into it, or the conversation takes place 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:42.480 and I've not made a contribution, my default position might 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:46.320 be like, Okay, I'm not of value at this space 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:53.280 and in this time. And the adjustment, or the compromise 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:56.880 I made with myself is like, Okay, just accept that 0:11:57.000 --> 0:11:58.960 in some spaces and at certain times you won't be 0:11:59.040 --> 0:12:03.880 of value. And what Angela was pointing out was that 0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:07.439 may be an incident where you might not feel that way, 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:10.160 but to the point that that becomes now your conduct. 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:14.520 You've negotiated yourself into a space where every week you 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:17.040 now feel like you have to just sort of sit 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:19.720 with it, be quiet, keep it moving. Time is going. 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:21.520 I don't know how to shut up. Whatever the thing 0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:23.680 is is that the self talk that I'm telling myself 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:29.720 now we are completely disrupting the very environment we're trying 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:32.240 to create for ourselves. The very environment we're trying to 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:35.800 create is that I don't have to be curated through 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:41.000 the world's lens that if this conversation takes me away 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:44.280 from one about politics and one about the fact that, gosh, 0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:48.600 I feel, you know, no real worth in this moment, 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:51.920 and I don't want to be in a I have 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:55.960 too much respect for myself. I'd like to think that 0:12:56.040 --> 0:13:00.000 I don't want to be anywhere where my contribution isn't valid, 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:06.040 where I'm not making a contribution at all. And to 0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:09.920 your point, Angela, about where we have to be respectful 0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:11.880 and where do our listeners show up? They show up 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:14.560 all the way through this. It breaks. I can't tell 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:16.480 y'all if you're on the listening side of this, what 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:19.199 it did to Angela and Tiffany when we got some 0:13:19.240 --> 0:13:22.680 comments about from some of the listeners who said, I 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:25.559 felt like you all disrespected the questioner here, like you 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:28.840 just completely. I'm sitting on the I'm sitting here with 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:30.880 them on a you know, on the telephone, and they're like, 0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:33.280 I can't believe that. I just I can't believe I 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:35.000 wasn't aware of that and this, and and they're going 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:36.760 back and forth. I'm like, y'all, you want to call 0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:38.480 them on three ay, y'all want to FaceTime? I mean, 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:39.439 you're like, what are we. 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:39.880 Going to do. 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:43.839 No, I was saying. 0:13:44.120 --> 0:13:45.000 He was genuine. 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:47.559 That's the scary part. He really wanted to FaceTime these people. 0:13:47.760 --> 0:13:51.560 Absolutely was serious. I was like, we have to unburden this, 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:54.760 and I'm really sick of this. I can't believe we 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:56.200 said that. And I got to go back and look 0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:58.040 at the video and all that kind off. I'm like, look, 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.080 which I want to do about it? And so so 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:03.640 just know that it isn't anyone's intention to go that way. 0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:06.400 And I think in our apology the following week, I 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:09.200 mentioned that sometimes we're not even responding directly to what 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:12.880 the question is, which is part of our obligation to 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:16.000 respond to what the question is, because you posed it 0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:18.160 and we respect you enough to give you an answer. 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:21.160 But we're responding to all of the clouds, the layers 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:23.200 of stuff that we've had to dig through all week, 0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:26.400 and all of everybody else's misimpressions about that thing. And 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:28.080 now we feel like, oh, this is the window to 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:31.160 correct the rest of the world, not you, the questioner, 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:33.280 but the rest of the world on that perspective. And 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:36.960 so I have nothing but love and respect for our audience, 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:39.400 and that has to mean more than our words. That 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.160 it has to be manifest in our actions, not just 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:44.080 in the way that we experience it, but also the 0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:47.160 way that you, our listeners, experience it. And that's just 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:49.320 the work in progress. But know our heart. 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:51.920 Please all right, job, We're going to take a quick break, 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:53.760 but don't go anywhere, because we still want to talk 0:14:53.760 --> 0:14:57.120 more about how to create safe spaces, not just for us, 0:14:57.160 --> 0:15:07.520 but for you as well. We'll be right back. I 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:10.240 even like having this conversation and putting it out there 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:14.360 for our viewers because I want the audience to feel 0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:16.600 like they are part of the conversation. And I think 0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:19.800 what they appreciated about the mini pod last week is 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:23.920 they felt like they were eavesdropping on a private disagreement 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:27.120 with all of us. And I think all of us 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:29.320 maintain how we feel. I don't think Angela you feel 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:31.240 any different. I don't think Andrew you feel a different. 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:32.960 I don't feel any different. And it's like, yeah, we 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:36.160 can have these three opposing points of view and still 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:39.160 come together as family, as friends and you know, spend 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:42.200 time with you other and laugh and you know, nothing changes. 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:45.560 And I think that's what we're the society we're trying 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:50.360 to build and go for in terms of our audience 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.080 and the things that we platform here and creating a 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:57.160 safe space for our viewers and for each other. I 0:15:57.280 --> 0:15:59.880 just want to make this plea to our audience and say, 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:02.720 even when we disagree with you, we love you. You know. 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:07.280 I think that I often say this to Angela, and 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:09.080 I probably said this to you too, Andrew, Like, I 0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:11.000 think it's black people. We don't have the privilege to 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:16.160 dislike each other, you know, right, But but there are 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:19.640 people who you know, they're not my favorite people, you know, 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:21.840 So among us, I'm like, I don't really rock with him, 0:16:21.840 --> 0:16:24.560 I don't really rock with her. But out here in 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:27.920 this world, if something were happening, then I got to 0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:30.640 be a part of the army defending that person, you know. 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:33.560 And so we feel that way. Even when you give 0:16:33.560 --> 0:16:35.600 a comment that I feel is a little disrespectful to 0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:38.400 the w NBA, we still welcome you, brother, We welcome 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:40.160 you a comment, you know, like you're gonna have to 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:40.960 get some of the smoke. 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:42.880 Although I did think it was a hoax. 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:46.880 But yeah, well either way, you know, I hope it wasn't. 0:16:47.040 --> 0:16:49.680 I hope, I hope he had more respect for us 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:53.840 than giving a hoax. But who knows even when we 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:56.040 disagree that we want you to pull up a seat 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:58.360 to this table. You know, we've all come from spaces 0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:01.600 where we didn't feel welcome. For twenty four years, I 0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:04.959 didn't feel welcome in you know, mostly white run newsrooms 0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:09.080 that constantly dismiss my input and value and opinions. So 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:10.720 I don't ever want either of my co hosts to 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:13.600 feel like they don't have value. And I certainly don't 0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:16.680 want our audience, who shows up to us every week 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:19.000 twice a week to hear us, to not feel like 0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:22.520 they have value. So we thank y'all for rocking with us, 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:25.960 for tuning in every week. I thank you Angela for 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:29.760 inviting me and Andrew to be part of this podcast 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:33.040 and build this thing brick by brick with you. I 0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:35.359 think you Andrew for the times that we have on 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:38.000 this podcast. But honestly, my favorite time is when we're 0:17:38.000 --> 0:17:40.359 not on the podcast, and it's just when Andrew and 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:43.320 I get one on one time. I feel like it's 0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:46.560 so calming. I'm always telling you some personal drama I 0:17:46.600 --> 0:17:50.840 have or something, you know, Andela off doing something, she's 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:53.280 going a flight, she doing something else, and I'm all 0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:56.080 about like where's a good restaurant, so Andrew and I'll 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:58.119 go eat sometimes. But Angela and I also spend a 0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:02.119 lot of time too as the ladies. We have a 0:18:02.119 --> 0:18:04.639 whole girl group, so I get my alone time with 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:07.520 each of them. But with Andrew, I just I truly 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:11.560 value you, both personally and professionally. So I just I 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:15.800 love y'all for having the space and just thank y'all 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:18.480 for for for dealing on the days when I'm giving 0:18:18.560 --> 0:18:22.480 whatever I'm giving, when i'm giving highbrow to Andrew told 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:29.879 you the anti when we were walking in Sancho Park. 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:39.439 He was so like smooth jazz when you know how 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:43.160 he does. Angela and he was like, I had I 0:18:43.200 --> 0:18:46.880 was a bit elevated at the time. And sometimes when 0:18:46.880 --> 0:18:50.800 I'm like that, I it means I go inward. Okay, 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:53.320 I just get mute. What does that mean to It 0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:55.960 means that I had a mood ordering substance that sent 0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:59.440 me on a flight. Okay, and it is a good, 0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:04.240 beautiful Okay. Andrew was talking to me, and I hear it. 0:19:04.280 --> 0:19:06.600 But sometimes your thoughts are like they run away. You're 0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:08.920 like no, no, no, wait, and the thought is gone. And 0:19:08.920 --> 0:19:11.320 Andrew was like, you know when you get like this, 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:13.520 you just have this judgmental look on your face, and 0:19:13.560 --> 0:19:14.680 I don't care for it. 0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:20.240 Just exuding judgment. 0:19:21.640 --> 0:19:24.840 But I have It's not even it just I was 0:19:25.000 --> 0:19:28.520 laughing so hard because he said it was just so 0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:32.040 funny to me. I'm like, see this, y I don't 0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:32.600 care for it. 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:33.760 I don't care for it. 0:19:33.760 --> 0:19:36.840 It's just it's so proper that in most places I 0:19:36.880 --> 0:19:39.119 wouldn't have two words to say to the other person 0:19:39.320 --> 0:19:41.359 about how they look or what they're giving. 0:19:41.440 --> 0:19:44.320 Andrew, you give the craziest cussouts with no cuss words 0:19:44.320 --> 0:19:47.520 and big words. Sometimes you make up the words as well. 0:19:48.880 --> 0:19:51.920 But yeah, like yes, baby, hilarious. 0:19:52.000 --> 0:19:52.320 All right? 0:19:52.400 --> 0:19:54.800 Do we do we feel complete with this conversation or 0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:55.560 do we. 0:19:55.280 --> 0:19:57.560 Well, we didn't read the comment I wanted to read. 0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:03.480 I believe it's Denice Paris right, and it says I 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:06.600 have been listening to your podcast since episode one. Just 0:20:06.640 --> 0:20:08.119 so y'all know, we are not going to make a 0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:10.359 practice of reading these comments. We expect for you to 0:20:10.359 --> 0:20:12.320 send in videos, but just because it was on point 0:20:13.320 --> 0:20:16.200 since episode one, I share the podcast a few times. 0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:18.520 I believe in what you are doing because it is 0:20:18.560 --> 0:20:22.280 imperative and needed. After listening to your last mini pod, 0:20:22.400 --> 0:20:26.000 I resonate with all your viewpoints because they are valid. 0:20:26.560 --> 0:20:30.080 I must say I lean toward Angela as I too 0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:34.000 was blindsided, as I would have never imagined millions on 0:20:34.160 --> 0:20:37.560 millions of people could ever be scammed by Trump. I 0:20:37.600 --> 0:20:41.480 am from NYC, and my very arrogance thought people knew 0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:45.520