1 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,879 Speaker 1: I started to realize that not being an expert isn't 2 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 1: a liability, it's a real gift. 3 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:18,239 Speaker 2: If we don't know something about ourselves at this point 4 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 2: in our life, it's probably because it's uncomfortable to know. 5 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 2: If you can die before you die, then you can 6 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 2: really live. There's a wisdom at death's door. I thought 7 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 2: I was insane. Yeah, and I didn't know what to 8 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 2: do because there was no internet. 9 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: I don't know, man, I'm like, I feel like everything 10 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:42,159 Speaker 1: is hard. Hey, y'all, my name is Kat. I'm a 11 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: human first and a licensed therapist second. And right now 12 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 1: I'm inviting you into conversations that I hope encourage you 13 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: to become more curious and less judgmental about yourself, others, 14 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:58,040 Speaker 1: and the world around you. Welcome to You Need Therapy. 15 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of ED 16 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,480 Speaker 1: Therapy podcast. My name is Kat. I am the host, 17 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 1: and quick reminder before we get started, this podcast does 18 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,759 Speaker 1: not serve as a replacement or a substitute for any 19 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: actual mental health services. However, we always hope that it 20 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,520 Speaker 1: can help in some way. Now I am recording this 21 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 1: Sunday morning. Usually I record Fridays or earlier in the 22 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 1: week for the episodes that come out on Monday. But Friday, 23 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 1: my brain was not working. Everything was mush. The creativity 24 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: was not there, the excitement was not there, the attention 25 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 1: span was not there. And so I had to say 26 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 1: to myself, we're gonna put this down and work on 27 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: something else, something that didn't require and on the right 28 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 1: side of my brain, and just did some basic housekeeping stuff. 29 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,679 Speaker 1: It just wasn't working, and it was I don't know, 30 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,680 Speaker 1: halfway through me kind of writing out my notes getting 31 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: ready to record the episode that I said, I made 32 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: this deadline up myself, like nobody told me that it 33 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 1: had to be done on Friday. I guess my thought 34 00:01:58,640 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: on that was like, oh, I want to give it 35 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: too Houston, who edits it a couple of days before 36 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: so he has time, and also I want to like 37 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: enjoy my weekend. But it was a deadline I made up, 38 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: and I had to allow myself a little space to say, 39 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,639 Speaker 1: you know what, if the deadline isn't working for you, 40 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:17,400 Speaker 1: if it's compromising the joy you're getting out of this 41 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 1: or the actual integrity of the content, then it's okay 42 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: to shift. It's okay to change. It's okay to put 43 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 1: something off, that there will be no real consequences if 44 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: you put it off, And it was just a little 45 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,920 Speaker 1: note to myself or a reminder that we get to 46 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,120 Speaker 1: change our minds. I talk about that all the time 47 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,959 Speaker 1: on here, that you are allowed to change your mind 48 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: with more information, You're allowed to change your mind, as 49 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 1: you start to shift, as you grow, You're allowed to 50 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 1: change your mind. 51 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,079 Speaker 2: And so often we hold on. 52 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:50,520 Speaker 1: To beliefs or values or preferences or decisions that we 53 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: made at a time in our life that made sense, 54 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 1: and we kind of hold on to them just so 55 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:59,240 Speaker 1: I don't know, people don't think that we're flaky or 56 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: inconsistent or that we can hold our word. And sometimes 57 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:07,920 Speaker 1: it's not that important to maintain those ideas or opinions 58 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 1: of other people through that, and it's more important for 59 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,639 Speaker 1: you to be able to take a beat and say, Okay, 60 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,640 Speaker 1: well what really works for me? What do I really 61 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 1: believe right now? Am I believing this because I think 62 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 1: I have to? Or am I believing this because this 63 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 1: is really what I believe? And so I'm just saying 64 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,919 Speaker 1: that because that was a reminder I needed this week. 65 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 1: I don't know if anybody else needed it. I know 66 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: that this past weekend has probably been well, I know 67 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 1: it has been devastating for so many people with the hurricane. 68 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: And I don't know a lot about weather and hurricanes 69 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 1: and all of that kind of stuff, and so I 70 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 1: was shocked when I saw that some of the most 71 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: horrific damage were in areas that I did not expect 72 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 1: it to be, one of them being Asheville, which is 73 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: a city that I am obsessed with. I've been there 74 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: six maybe seven times. I was just telling Patrick, or 75 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: maybe it wasn't Patrick, maybe it was just one of 76 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 1: my friends. I was talking about how the past four 77 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 1: years I've been there at least once a year for 78 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 1: different things, and had my own bad rep party there 79 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 1: that last year, which you know, I guess a lot 80 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: of people that live in Nasville probably didn't love that, 81 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 1: but I did. And that city has been devastated by 82 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:17,360 Speaker 1: the weather. And another thing that I have been learning 83 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: and learning to actually accept is that I experience the 84 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 1: world the same time everybody else experiences the things that 85 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,719 Speaker 1: happen in the world. And since COVID, I think that 86 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 1: a lot of helping professionals have felt like they need 87 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 1: to hurry up and process and form opinions and thoughts 88 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 1: and ideas of how to cope and what to do 89 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,520 Speaker 1: and ways to get through things ahead of everybody else, 90 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 1: because you know, that's our job. At the same time, 91 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: we receive a lot of the horrific information around what 92 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,599 Speaker 1: is happening in the world, in all different parts of 93 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 1: the world at the same time, and so sometimes it's 94 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 1: okay to just breathe through it and make opinions and 95 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 1: process things in our own time. That doesn't mean that 96 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:02,919 Speaker 1: we cannot help other people process that too. Our pace 97 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,039 Speaker 1: is allowed to be our pace. I'm speaking to myself. 98 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 1: My pace is allowed to be my pace, and sometimes 99 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 1: it's okay to just not speak on anything. I think 100 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,919 Speaker 1: that's a pressure that we put on a lot of people. 101 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,719 Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that I'm any kind of public figure, 102 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,440 Speaker 1: but I think what I have seen a lot in 103 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 1: the last couple of years is we put so much 104 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:24,320 Speaker 1: pressure on public figures to make statements about everything. 105 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,919 Speaker 2: And one, that's a lot of pressure. Two, that's not 106 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 2: their job. 107 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 1: Just because somebody's a public figure, it doesn't mean that 108 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: they have a more important, or a better or any 109 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:41,360 Speaker 1: kind of opinion other than anybody else's and they're also people, 110 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: and they take time and need time to process things 111 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 1: as well. 112 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:46,919 Speaker 2: And I think we've. 113 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,479 Speaker 1: Pushed people and rushed people to say things really fast, 114 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: and it has actually taken away the ability for them 115 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: to really understand what it is that they really know 116 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 1: and believe and feel and would want to say. So 117 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:02,039 Speaker 1: anybody listening who or anybody who knows anybody in those areas, 118 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,839 Speaker 1: anybody who has been affected. 119 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:05,080 Speaker 2: My heart does go out to you. 120 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,159 Speaker 1: I have spent an hour this morning when I got 121 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 1: up looking at videos and looking at like relief programs 122 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: and seeing I don't know, you feel helpless in other 123 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,600 Speaker 1: parts of the world, especially because a lot of these areas, 124 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 1: specifically actual you can't get to right now because the 125 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 1: interstates have literally fallen and crumbled. And if you haven't 126 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 1: seen any of this, just google, like I forty Tennessee, 127 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,840 Speaker 1: North Carolina, like you can't get to it, and so 128 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 1: they're cut off from the world. And so I was 129 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,839 Speaker 1: looking up some ways to send help from Afar. And 130 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,160 Speaker 1: I do also know that sometimes when these kinds of 131 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 1: things happen, everybody rushing to like just be there, which 132 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: right now we can't even be there, makes it more chaotic. 133 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:49,040 Speaker 1: That's how it was, at least when the hurricanes hit 134 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,840 Speaker 1: Nashville a couple of years ago. It's like everybody coming 135 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,360 Speaker 1: out once kind of makes it more chaotic rather than 136 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 1: how do we continue to help people and what is 137 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: it that people actually need? And it all comes from 138 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,599 Speaker 1: a good place because people want to help. That's a 139 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 1: wonderful thing. So if you guys have any links or 140 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,800 Speaker 1: if you know ways to best help in areas that 141 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:08,479 Speaker 1: have been affected, feel free to send them to me. 142 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,679 Speaker 2: I will share those whatever way I can. 143 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 1: Anyway, I don't really have a good way to transition 144 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: this going from something very serious and devastating to I mean, 145 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 1: what we're talking about today is it's serious, it's just 146 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 1: maybe not as immediate in the chaos, although we're living 147 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 1: in the chaos of what we're talking about today, So 148 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe it doesn't seem as urgent because 149 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 1: we've just gotten used to it, which is literally what 150 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: we're talking about, getting used to things and things becoming normal. 151 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: And I've recently seen that crocs are coming back in style, 152 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: Like there is even a high heel croc which I 153 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: posted on Instagram last week. There is a heeled croc 154 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 1: and what's coming back in style are the like I 155 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 1: thought they were called, like gemlts or some I don't know, 156 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 1: the little gems that you put inside crocs. Those are 157 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 1: coming back, and it's giving me flashbacks to like two 158 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 1: thousand and six when I was. 159 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,600 Speaker 2: A sales associate at Limited Too, because that was my 160 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 2: high school job. 161 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,239 Speaker 1: And we sold those to small kids, which I guess 162 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 1: like those are the people. 163 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,240 Speaker 2: That are now wearing the crocs. Again. 164 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 1: I see a lot of adults wearing crocs that are 165 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 1: probably the same adults that wore them as children, and 166 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,360 Speaker 1: maybe I just see it on the internet. I don't 167 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: know if people are actually wearing them. If you are 168 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 1: wearing the healed crocks, let me know. When I posted 169 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 1: this on Instagram, somebody replied and I laughed so hard 170 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: that the high healed crocs remind them of the shoes 171 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,200 Speaker 1: that like the Brat's dolls wear, which is like, so true. 172 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,680 Speaker 1: They look like a doll high heeled shoe, which I 173 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 1: mean to each of their own. But when trends like 174 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 1: this show up, I often feel this pool to like 175 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: both listen to my gut and also question it, because 176 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: listen to my gut says, you don't like this, But 177 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 1: then the question it is, well, everybody's doing it, so 178 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 1: a lot of times our opinions really our group think opinions, 179 00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: majority opinion rules. So if all these people love it, 180 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 1: it must be cute, it must be a good look. 181 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,559 Speaker 1: If this is really in style and everybody's wearing it, 182 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 1: it must be a good look. And I was actually 183 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 1: talking to a friend amy she made a comment about how, like, well, 184 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 1: give me a couple months, and like all beyond that trend. 185 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: We were talking about sneaks, the high heeled again, the 186 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 1: high healed sneakers. I don't want to understand, but she said, 187 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 1: give me a couple months, I might be wearing those because, like, 188 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,560 Speaker 1: you get kind of used to it because they just 189 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 1: keep either shoving it in your face or everybody else 190 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,840 Speaker 1: is starting to do it, and little by little it 191 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 1: becomes normal. And like sneaker high heels are normal, and 192 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,199 Speaker 1: crop high heels are normal. We don't question that anymore. 193 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: We're just like, oh, they came out with a new color, 194 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,960 Speaker 1: I might want that. And I was thinking about this 195 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,560 Speaker 1: for a while, and I was trying to come up 196 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:45,839 Speaker 1: with some story that would make sense for the metaphorm 197 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,480 Speaker 1: trying to paint. But I followed a lot of rules 198 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,720 Speaker 1: growing up, so I don't have a lot of stories 199 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 1: of me begging my mom to let me go do 200 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:57,000 Speaker 1: wild and crazy things, but I definitely have had the 201 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 1: pool to do that at times. 202 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,360 Speaker 2: I don't know. 203 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 1: There's just something about the idea of everybody else doing 204 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: it that just tricks your brain into thinking that you 205 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:08,079 Speaker 1: should too, regardless of what it is. I mean, I'm 206 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,080 Speaker 1: thinking of high school, and I guess it's even like 207 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: partying in high school, I was not that kind of kid, 208 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,320 Speaker 1: but when all my friends were doing it and I 209 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: noticed that I was starting to get left out of 210 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:19,360 Speaker 1: things because I wasn't doing it, It's like, well, if 211 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 1: I want to be included and I want to belong 212 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 1: and I want people to think I'm cool, Like, should 213 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: I have to do that even if it's not a 214 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: normal thing. Yes, everybody's doing it and it feels very normal, 215 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: But should that then become the norm? Or is the norm? 216 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 2: What is good? Is that what we should be following. 217 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 1: You can call it groupthink or majority bias, but really 218 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 1: wanting to fit in or looking for ways to feel 219 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 1: more quote unquote normal or okay, we're kind of like 220 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:49,679 Speaker 1: just wired. 221 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 2: To kind of bend that way. 222 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 1: But something else I have to learn and relearn and 223 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 1: continue to tell myself is that just because something has 224 00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 1: become the norm, And when I say learn and relearn, 225 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 1: I'm serious. I have to learn and relearn this over 226 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,199 Speaker 1: and over again. Just because something has become the norm, 227 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 1: it doesn't necessarily mean it is as it should be. 228 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:15,040 Speaker 1: Normal doesn't equal good or write necessarily. It also doesn't 229 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 1: equate to health in any sense of the word. And 230 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 1: I think a lot of us have experienced lately that 231 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 1: everyone is struggling with all kinds of things that just again, 232 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 1: we're not the Norman. I don't know why they weren't 233 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,360 Speaker 1: the norm. I'm not here to do any scientific research. 234 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: I'm here to read other people's But you know, everybody 235 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 1: is struggling with the same kind of things, like mentally, emotionally, psychologically, 236 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 1: whether it's ADHD, depression, anxiety PMDD, they are all these 237 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 1: things that it feels like everybody has these things, and 238 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,479 Speaker 1: knowing you aren't the only one that is experiencing something 239 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:50,880 Speaker 1: like that is so helpful because it makes you not 240 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 1: feel crazy, and it makes you feel less alone and 241 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:58,600 Speaker 1: like somebody can understand you that you're not messed up. 242 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 1: But I think we also normal some of this stuff. 243 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 1: As we normalize some of this stuff, we accidentally send 244 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 1: the message to ourselves and others that this means that 245 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 1: we should be this way. And while I want people 246 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,960 Speaker 1: to feel less alone and I don't want people to 247 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 1: feel like there's something inherently wrong with them, I also 248 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 1: don't want people to settle for a life that they 249 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 1: weren't meant to live, or I don't want us to 250 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,839 Speaker 1: kind of miss this greater picture that like, maybe it's 251 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 1: not that something's wrong with us, it's something wrong with 252 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 1: a system. And I've told this story before on here, 253 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure, But I was watching an interview years ago, 254 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 1: years ago, it was probably like one or two years ago, 255 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,920 Speaker 1: and I want to say it was with Esther Perel, 256 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 1: and somebody was asking, like, what do you tell all 257 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:46,679 Speaker 1: of these kids, or what do you do with all 258 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 1: these kids that are coming in with anxiety and they're 259 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,680 Speaker 1: fidgeting and they're doing all this stuff, Like how do 260 00:12:51,720 --> 00:13:00,240 Speaker 1: you respond to that? Like what do you do you 261 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:02,560 Speaker 1: tell all of these kids? Or what do you do 262 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,200 Speaker 1: with all these kids that are coming in with anxiety 263 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 1: and they're fidgeting and they're doing all this stuff, like 264 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:10,199 Speaker 1: how do you respond to that? And I wish I 265 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 1: could find the video because since it's been so long 266 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,640 Speaker 1: since I saw it, I'm sure I'm not painting this 267 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 1: as beautifully as it was said. But basically she responded 268 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,120 Speaker 1: with the fact that there's not something wrong with these kids. 269 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 1: We haven't always been this way, we haven't always shown 270 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,520 Speaker 1: up this way. These symptoms of whether it's anxiety or 271 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:34,160 Speaker 1: or ADHD or depression or whatever. I'm just using those 272 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: three things, but doesn't necessarily have to be those. We 273 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,839 Speaker 1: are responding to a very broken world, and that's how 274 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 1: we respond to it. These are the things that we 275 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,120 Speaker 1: are doing to cope or these are the symptoms of 276 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 1: living in that space for a prolong period of time. 277 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:51,400 Speaker 1: And so if we keep looking at all these people individually, 278 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 1: let's heal your anxiety, let's heal your ADHD, let's heal 279 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 1: your depression, let's heal this. What we're not doing is 280 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:02,679 Speaker 1: looking at the greater social system, cultural system, our society 281 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 1: and how that has actually created a lot of space 282 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,200 Speaker 1: for there to be disruption. And we're living in a 283 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,520 Speaker 1: world that we really weren't created to live in the 284 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 1: world this way, but it's much easier. And I think 285 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,480 Speaker 1: because the big picture is so daunting, it's much easier 286 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,360 Speaker 1: to tackle each individual person. But what we really need 287 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:25,360 Speaker 1: is the collective people coming together to tackle the collective 288 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 1: of us all. And all of this I think really 289 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,520 Speaker 1: started swimming in my head because I started reading Gabor 290 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 1: Monte's new book, The Myth of Normal and Why They 291 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 1: started reading. 292 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 2: I'm on page like thirty and it's. 293 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 1: Five hundred pages, but the first line of the book says, 294 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 1: in the most health obsessed society ever, all is not well. 295 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,560 Speaker 1: And I thought that first. I mean, that's the first line. 296 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:50,880 Speaker 1: It was profound. And then he goes on to say, 297 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,160 Speaker 1: we do our best to keep up. We take supplements, 298 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 1: join yoga studios, serially switched diets, shell out for genetic testing, 299 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 1: strategize to prevent cancer or dementia, and feel medical advice 300 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:06,280 Speaker 1: or alternative therapies for maladies of the body, psyche, or soul. 301 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 1: And yet our collective health is deteriorating. And I also 302 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 1: read in this book that in Europe, according to a 303 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 1: recent international study or survey, mental disorders have become the 304 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 1: largest health challenge of the twenty first century. 305 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 2: I mean, this. 306 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:24,360 Speaker 1: Book is blowing my mind, page after page, all through 307 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,680 Speaker 1: thirty of them. And I think part of the reason 308 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,720 Speaker 1: I'm reading this so slow is because the content is 309 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:34,720 Speaker 1: so dense, not in necessarily it's like math equations and 310 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 1: I can't understand it. It's so much dense in the 311 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 1: sense I feel it in my soul and it's a 312 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 1: lot to take it in that way. And I wanted 313 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: to read another part from deep in the book on 314 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 1: page six, which some of you might be like, you 315 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 1: should read the whole book before you start talking about 316 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 1: that book. And you know what, I'm sure I'll talk 317 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 1: about this book as I continue to move through it again. 318 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,320 Speaker 1: But we don't know when I'm going to finish this 319 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:01,240 Speaker 1: book because it's five hundred page and I don't have 320 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,200 Speaker 1: the patients to hold this information in for longer. 321 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 2: So we're going chapter by chapter. Call it a book club, 322 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,000 Speaker 2: what have you a podcast? Book club? 323 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 1: Anyway, I want to read this part and then I'm 324 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,480 Speaker 1: going to talk about it some more. This is from 325 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:19,240 Speaker 1: page six from his book, and he says, in medical practice, 326 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,400 Speaker 1: the word normal denotes, among other things, the state of 327 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:27,440 Speaker 1: affairs we doctors aim for setting the boundaries delineating health 328 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 1: from disease. 329 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,320 Speaker 2: Normal levels and normal functioning are our goal. 330 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 1: When we apply treatments or remedies, we also gauge success 331 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:42,200 Speaker 1: or failure against statistical norms. We reassure worded patients that 332 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:45,640 Speaker 1: this symptom or that this side effect is completely normal, 333 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 1: as in to be expected. These are all specific and 334 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: legitimate uses of the word, enabling us to assess situations 335 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 1: realistically so we can aim our efforts appropriately. It is 336 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 1: not in these senses that this book refers to to normal, 337 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,360 Speaker 1: but rather in a more insidious one that, far from 338 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 1: helping us progress towards a healthier future, cuts such an 339 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:12,400 Speaker 1: endeavor off at the pass for better or worse. Humans 340 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 1: have a genius for getting used to things, especially when 341 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 1: the changes are incremental. The new fangled verb to normalize 342 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 1: refers to the mechanism by which something previously abbarent becomes 343 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 1: normal enough that it passes beneath our radar. On a 344 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:32,400 Speaker 1: societal level, the normal often means nothing. To see here, 345 00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 1: All systems are functioning as they should. No farther inquiry 346 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 1: is needed. The truth, as I see it is quite different. 347 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: And then he goes on I mean, I could read 348 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,159 Speaker 1: this whole book to you, or you guys could just 349 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,359 Speaker 1: listen to the audible version. 350 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 2: But he goes on to say a little lower. 351 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:54,280 Speaker 1: He quoted David Foster Wallace saying the most obvious, ubiquitous, 352 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,199 Speaker 1: important realities are often the ones hardest to see and 353 00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,800 Speaker 1: talk about. And then he says, in other words, those 354 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: features of daily life that appear to us now as 355 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,200 Speaker 1: normal are the ones crying out the loudest for our scrutiny. 356 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,679 Speaker 1: And I bring this up today because there is a 357 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,000 Speaker 1: reason we need the word work normal. I think that 358 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:15,639 Speaker 1: sometimes that does shift us towards what we should be 359 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,280 Speaker 1: aiming for and what is good and healthy. And at 360 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:22,159 Speaker 1: the same time, we've kind of taken that word and 361 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 1: have used it to justify things, or I think sometimes 362 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,399 Speaker 1: make us feel better about things that really shouldn't be 363 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 1: that way. And when something when the abnormal but then 364 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 1: becomes the normal, but the abnormal is something that we 365 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 1: shouldn't be settling for, things get pretty dicey. And this 366 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 1: isn't a political conversation. I hear in my head like 367 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 1: you need to say all these caveats and telebody, what 368 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,720 Speaker 1: you don't mean versus what you do mean, because they're 369 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,359 Speaker 1: going to think you're saying one thing when you are 370 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:54,439 Speaker 1: really talking about another thing. I'm not here to be 371 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:58,200 Speaker 1: the health police, or the political beliefs or the religious 372 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 1: police along the line of what should be normal and 373 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,760 Speaker 1: what shouldn't be normal, what's okay with you, what's not 374 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,760 Speaker 1: okay with you. I'm not here to set the barometer 375 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,040 Speaker 1: for that. What I'm really here to do is to 376 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,840 Speaker 1: give you, guys, more of a awareness of what barometer 377 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,560 Speaker 1: you're settling for, because again, when things become so normal, 378 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,440 Speaker 1: we just don't think about them, we don't look at them, 379 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,680 Speaker 1: we don't question them, kind of like the crocs. It's 380 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 1: like I stopped questioning if I like these crocs. He's 381 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: wearing them, and now I'm wearing crocs, but I think 382 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 1: I actually hate them, and I'm not wearing the crocs. 383 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,080 Speaker 1: But I can see myself doing that in the future. 384 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:34,159 Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about. And so my point in 385 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,600 Speaker 1: this is not to scare people or start a new 386 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 1: war waged on modern medicine or anything like that. I 387 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,840 Speaker 1: do believe we have, like he said in the book, 388 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,920 Speaker 1: we have normalized things that in the past have not 389 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,000 Speaker 1: been okay. 390 00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:49,960 Speaker 2: Or right that really should be. 391 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,120 Speaker 1: Okay and right, and that I am so thankful for. 392 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,879 Speaker 1: I mean, even normalizing therapy right, it's allowing people to 393 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 1: live more fully as themselves. It's allowing people to get 394 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:03,480 Speaker 1: the help that they just and normalizing certain things has 395 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:07,399 Speaker 1: allowed people to feel more joy and gain access to 396 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:10,360 Speaker 1: care that they need and all of that. So I'm 397 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,800 Speaker 1: not saying normalizing everything. This is not a all or 398 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 1: nothing conversation, I guess is what I mean in that. 399 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,080 Speaker 1: But somewhere our ability to separate the good and the 400 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 1: scary has gotten kind of lost in the sauce. It's 401 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,439 Speaker 1: easier for us to not think about things than to 402 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,560 Speaker 1: have to really think about things. And we're not going 403 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,240 Speaker 1: to agree on all of these things. I think that's 404 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:34,280 Speaker 1: one issue here is sometimes we kind of don't have 405 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,520 Speaker 1: these kinds of conversations because there isn't one right way 406 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:41,199 Speaker 1: or one right answer. So of course this has to 407 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,600 Speaker 1: be complicated, like most things we talk about on here, 408 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,520 Speaker 1: like most things in the human experience. But I wanted 409 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,720 Speaker 1: to just give you an idea of some of the 410 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 1: things that I'm talking about. Asked on social media, what 411 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,560 Speaker 1: are some things that have become normal to you? Guys 412 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,679 Speaker 1: that seem a little odd or maybe are hurting us 413 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 1: more than helping us. To read some of what you said. 414 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,679 Speaker 2: Asked on social media, what are some things that have 415 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,479 Speaker 2: become normal to you? 416 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 1: Guys that seem a little odd or maybe are hurting 417 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 1: us more than helping us. And I'm going to read 418 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 1: some of what you said. One was gut issues. A 419 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,760 Speaker 1: couple of people said that, and I think that's funny 420 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: because I mean, it seems like everybody has gut issues, 421 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,400 Speaker 1: and everybody's having all these issues, and there's so many 422 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 1: memes about them, and we're laughing about them. And there's 423 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:35,960 Speaker 1: a whole freaking industry built around healing gut issues. But 424 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,959 Speaker 1: I don't know if they're really healing those gut issues 425 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:41,959 Speaker 1: or they're just giving you some pretty packaged thing for 426 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 1: you to buy. It's more about consumerism than it is 427 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,400 Speaker 1: about healing your gut issues. But we weren't all born 428 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,680 Speaker 1: to have gut issues, so like, that's confusing. Are we 429 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,920 Speaker 1: kind of talking about gut issues so we all think 430 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,280 Speaker 1: we have them? Kind of like some of the stuff 431 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,200 Speaker 1: with ADHD and anxiety and stuff like that, we're talking 432 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,639 Speaker 1: about it more. It's like me and my DSM class 433 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,240 Speaker 1: in college. Every time we learned about a new diagnosis, 434 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,919 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, no, I think I have that 435 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,960 Speaker 1: one too, But is it that or is there something 436 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,359 Speaker 1: going on with the world that is causing all of 437 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 1: these issues? And instead of selling us all these products, 438 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:18,680 Speaker 1: should there be something else we. 439 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,680 Speaker 2: Should be thinking about? Or kids with social media? 440 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,919 Speaker 1: This one so many people said this, and I'm like 441 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,520 Speaker 1: scratching my head as I say it, because I mean, 442 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,920 Speaker 1: it's so normal for children to have social media. 443 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 2: At TikTok, Instagram. 444 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,359 Speaker 1: I don't know that they're really using Facebook, but I'm 445 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,159 Speaker 1: sure there's all different types of social media that I 446 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,119 Speaker 1: don't even know about. Kids having smartphones came up a 447 00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:42,280 Speaker 1: lot their own smartphones, like not just a tablet or 448 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,119 Speaker 1: like something that they can play games on or something 449 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 1: like that. But because I think a lot of that 450 00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:51,160 Speaker 1: stuff has been super educational and helpful. I mean, I'm 451 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:55,000 Speaker 1: not an educator an expert in child development or anything 452 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,879 Speaker 1: like that, but I do see that some of this 453 00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,640 Speaker 1: stuff is really helpful. It's helping with language and making 454 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,680 Speaker 1: learning really fun and all of that. At the same time, 455 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: the social media and the phone, how that is affecting 456 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:12,280 Speaker 1: our social development? I mean, I'm so intrigued by that, 457 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,119 Speaker 1: and we're already seeing some of the effects of that. 458 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 1: But again, everybody's getting a cell phone, and they're not 459 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,960 Speaker 1: just getting a flip phone, they're getting smartphones. 460 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,200 Speaker 2: This one was really interesting to me. 461 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 1: Boys being mean to girls when they have a crush 462 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 1: on them, and reading that, it's like, well, think about 463 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:31,359 Speaker 1: what that teaches, Like that's normal and I remember that 464 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,120 Speaker 1: growing up. It's like, Oh, he's being mean to you 465 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:37,439 Speaker 1: because he likes you. And wait a second, okay, so 466 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,239 Speaker 1: am I supposed to be okay with that then? And 467 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,199 Speaker 1: then is that what I think guys liking me like 468 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 1: boys liking me is supposed to be? Like? Is that 469 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 1: what I'm learning love is supposed to feel like when 470 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:47,800 Speaker 1: somebody's mean to me? 471 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 2: Think about that. 472 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:53,840 Speaker 1: How that teaches girls to accept behavior from men that 473 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:59,720 Speaker 1: is absolutely horrific and not okay. How that shifts and 474 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,080 Speaker 1: chain them, but we normalize it. It's like, Oh, it's 475 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:07,120 Speaker 1: so cute Billy likes Susan, so he cut her hair 476 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,200 Speaker 1: in the middle of class. It's like, oh my god, 477 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:13,439 Speaker 1: he humiliated her and cross so many boundaries, but I 478 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:19,160 Speaker 1: should be flattered. Interesting, like how that continues to affect 479 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,320 Speaker 1: people throughout their life. That should not be normal. That 480 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 1: should be the outlier, and it should not be tolerated. 481 00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 1: Other people said being under immense stress at work. A 482 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,520 Speaker 1: lot of people talked about work culture being just a 483 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,199 Speaker 1: high stress environment at all times and how that's just 484 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,879 Speaker 1: to be expected and normal. How does that affect the 485 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,800 Speaker 1: rest of our lives? How does that affect our internal 486 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,600 Speaker 1: organs and how they work? How does that affect our 487 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,840 Speaker 1: response again to different types of stressors. We get so 488 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:53,200 Speaker 1: used to certain things that we don't even notice when 489 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:57,800 Speaker 1: something is as it shouldn't be again, having mental health issues. 490 00:24:58,040 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 1: To me, it's become like a joke to some people. 491 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 1: But when I'm like, no, this is not how you 492 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,200 Speaker 1: were created to live. You were not created to live 493 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:08,119 Speaker 1: this stressed out or this anxious or this sad or 494 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,440 Speaker 1: low energy or that's not how we were created to live. 495 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 1: And so you don't have to accept this as normal 496 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,840 Speaker 1: as in the way that we look at what we 497 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:21,160 Speaker 1: should aim for normal levels. Other people wrote in about 498 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:26,440 Speaker 1: smoking weed, doing drugs, drinking and excess and this blew 499 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 1: my mind. Speaking of alcohol, someone said alcohol being served 500 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,760 Speaker 1: at kids places has become very normal. 501 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,560 Speaker 2: Places like Chuck E Cheese. That is wild to me. 502 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,000 Speaker 1: And I actually went to Chuck E Cheese a couple 503 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,119 Speaker 1: of weeks ago with my nephew. It was a madhouse. 504 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,119 Speaker 1: I think it was raining in that day, so there 505 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 1: was a lot of people inside. And also there was 506 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 1: like seventeen birthday parties. There are no way needs to 507 00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 1: be alcohol at that place. That is confusing to me. 508 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,000 Speaker 1: I assume they make money off of that. I didn't 509 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 1: really notice people drinking, so I didn't fact check that. 510 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,280 Speaker 1: But that is wild to me. A place that is 511 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:02,960 Speaker 1: created for kids, that it is become so normal for 512 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,919 Speaker 1: parents to need, i don't know, to let loose or 513 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,320 Speaker 1: to have a drink, or to make these things that 514 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:13,160 Speaker 1: are actually four kids about them as well, that we're 515 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,440 Speaker 1: going to serve alcohol, like we can get through a 516 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,920 Speaker 1: two hour birthday party with a die coke or you know, 517 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:23,200 Speaker 1: a sprite, a sweet tea. Dress codes at schools being 518 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 1: out the window, this is interesting to me. Somebody else 519 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 1: said kids wearing pajamas to school, So it's normal, I 520 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,120 Speaker 1: guess for kids to wear pajamas to school, and it's 521 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,199 Speaker 1: normal for kids to just wear whatever they want to 522 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 1: public schools. When I was in public school. We had 523 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:40,600 Speaker 1: a very strict dress code. You would get sent to 524 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,639 Speaker 1: the principal's office if things weren't as they should. I 525 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:48,159 Speaker 1: think our skirts or shorts had to be either fingertip 526 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,480 Speaker 1: or six inches to the knee was the shortest they 527 00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 1: could be, and if you were really tall, that really 528 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,119 Speaker 1: worked against you. Really couldn't wear a lot of skirts 529 00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,760 Speaker 1: and shorts and then no holes and of your pants. 530 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,040 Speaker 1: We couldn't wear excessively tight clothing. Our shirts had to 531 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,000 Speaker 1: be two inches I think the sleeves were. I think 532 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:10,240 Speaker 1: at some point we weren't allowed to wear like flip flops. 533 00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:12,399 Speaker 1: I don't know exactly all the rules. You couldn't wear 534 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:16,679 Speaker 1: athletic shorts unless it was like a game day and 535 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,960 Speaker 1: you're wearing your uniform to school or something like that. 536 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:20,600 Speaker 2: And now, I. 537 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 1: Mean it first started with people being able to wear 538 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,360 Speaker 1: like leggings to school, and then I guess you can 539 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,320 Speaker 1: literally wear whatever you want to a lot of public 540 00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:28,320 Speaker 1: schools here, including pajamas. 541 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:28,920 Speaker 2: I didn't know that. 542 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:31,120 Speaker 1: I don't know that I have too much to say 543 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,200 Speaker 1: on that, but it is interesting how that has just 544 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,920 Speaker 1: changed in all of the reasons why we had a 545 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,120 Speaker 1: dress code before I guess just don't matter. I understood 546 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,440 Speaker 1: a lot of the reasons. Some of them were like stupid, 547 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 1: like Okay, this is silly, Like if I'm wearing a 548 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,480 Speaker 1: tank top that's one inch versus two inches, what's the 549 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:48,960 Speaker 1: big deal? 550 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:50,560 Speaker 2: So I get that. 551 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:54,600 Speaker 1: But I do enjoy dress codes for other reasons. And 552 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,680 Speaker 1: you know, I also always wish that I had a 553 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,320 Speaker 1: uniformed to school. One. It takes out the pressure getting 554 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,439 Speaker 1: dressed to normalize as everybody's wearing the same thing and 555 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,880 Speaker 1: it's not about who has what, and we just get 556 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,280 Speaker 1: to show up and learn versus worried about what we're wearing. 557 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,680 Speaker 1: But I understand that comes in to its own challenges. Anyway, 558 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 1: that was just interesting to me. And again, a lot 559 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,399 Speaker 1: of these I'm not necessarily saying are right or wrong. 560 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,120 Speaker 1: I guess some of them I am giving my opinion, But. 561 00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:19,560 Speaker 2: Some of them. 562 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,159 Speaker 1: It's just noticed the things that are now normal that 563 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 1: wouldn't have been before, and we've just stopped thinking about it, 564 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:29,199 Speaker 1: and it's now the norm in the sense that the 565 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,080 Speaker 1: people that have never experienced something else have never thought 566 00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 1: about it. So kids that are wearing pajamas to school, 567 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,680 Speaker 1: they've never thought about not wearing pajamas to school. That's 568 00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:41,240 Speaker 1: always been their experience, and it's just interesting how that 569 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,840 Speaker 1: stuff is changing. Being worried about the esthetic of one's 570 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,600 Speaker 1: home versus the functionality that one is really interesting. I 571 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 1: think that has come definitely with social media, and now 572 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 1: we are way more concerned with all these home projects 573 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,280 Speaker 1: because of what they look like versus the functionality, the 574 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,640 Speaker 1: quality all of that, and that has become the norm 575 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:03,960 Speaker 1: of your house to look this way, and the pressures, 576 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:07,360 Speaker 1: and just think about the pressure that puts on people 577 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:11,440 Speaker 1: who otherwise would never think twice about that of Man, 578 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,560 Speaker 1: don't you want to pick out a couch because of 579 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 1: the comfort versus like just what it looks like. As 580 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,760 Speaker 1: I said on my very comfortable couch, this is the 581 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:20,680 Speaker 1: best purchase I've ever made in my life. It is 582 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:24,000 Speaker 1: the Lounge Deep Lounge couch from Creighton Beryl got it 583 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 1: with my wedding discount. Highly recommend. Love it. I mean 584 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,000 Speaker 1: it's cute, but it's not. I mean, if I was 585 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,880 Speaker 1: gonna pick on looks, I wouldn't have picked this one. 586 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,280 Speaker 1: I would have picked a different one. But those ones 587 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 1: weren't as soft. So here we are vacations to Italy 588 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,640 Speaker 1: was another one, which is hilarious to me because everyone 589 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,280 Speaker 1: is going to Italy and I'm actually going to. 590 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:44,240 Speaker 2: Italy in a couple of weeks. 591 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 1: But it is true, like that's the norm. Everybody goes 592 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,200 Speaker 1: to Italy and the fall, like that's just what people 593 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,160 Speaker 1: do now, versus I don't really remember that being the 594 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,720 Speaker 1: thing before this has popped in my head. I was 595 00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:57,800 Speaker 1: listening to an episode of Armchair Expert with Ted Danson 596 00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 1: and Woody Harrelson, and I'm fascinated by Woody Harrelson. 597 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 2: One. 598 00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:05,360 Speaker 1: He's an incredible actor, but he's a fascinating person. I 599 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,320 Speaker 1: learned that he has not had a cell phone for 600 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:11,400 Speaker 1: the last five years. He is the outlier here, but 601 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,960 Speaker 1: I also believe he's no longer suffering. He talked about 602 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,680 Speaker 1: this from some of the problems that being reachable at 603 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 1: all moments brings, and it was really interesting to hear 604 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,440 Speaker 1: him talk about that if you need to call him, 605 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,560 Speaker 1: you have to call his house or you can send 606 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:27,040 Speaker 1: him an email. When he leaves the house, he doesn't 607 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:30,360 Speaker 1: bring anything that's connecting him to anybody else with him, 608 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,280 Speaker 1: which has it brings its own issues because we're so 609 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:35,560 Speaker 1: used to being reachable, like his wife can't call him 610 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 1: on the way home from work and be like, hey, 611 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 1: can you pick up some bread or something like that, 612 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,720 Speaker 1: And that's probably really frustrating some areas, but it sounds 613 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,360 Speaker 1: like the piece that it's given him is well worth 614 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,680 Speaker 1: some of that, and at a certain point that becomes 615 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,920 Speaker 1: your normal. So it was just interesting to hear him 616 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,800 Speaker 1: talk about that. When the norm used to be, like 617 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 1: we had privacy and if we weren't at work, you 618 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,280 Speaker 1: couldn't reach us. We couldn't take our computer and our 619 00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,400 Speaker 1: emails home with us, and so we had to either 620 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,720 Speaker 1: stay at work to finish work, or we left work 621 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,480 Speaker 1: at work, and it wasn't something that we were constantly 622 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,719 Speaker 1: answering and doing all the time. When you went on vacation, 623 00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,200 Speaker 1: you didn't have access to work, and that was the norm, 624 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,120 Speaker 1: and that's the way we lived, and I think there's 625 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:18,800 Speaker 1: a certain quality of life that came with that. 626 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,200 Speaker 2: And then now we're so highly. 627 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:26,400 Speaker 1: Attached to our jobs at all times we can escape them. 628 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:30,880 Speaker 1: And I was even at dinner last night talking about 629 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,600 Speaker 1: two of our friends are on their honeymoons and we 630 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,120 Speaker 1: haven't really heard for them, which we haven't expected to, 631 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,800 Speaker 1: but we were like thinking like I wonder if they 632 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,920 Speaker 1: have been really talking to anybody, and if they've been 633 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:45,520 Speaker 1: reading working malls or any of that. And then we 634 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 1: were talking about going on a trip ourselves, and I said, 635 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 1: let's get disposable cameras or digital cameras, because the reason 636 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,200 Speaker 1: I bring my phone with me everywhere on vacation is 637 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,040 Speaker 1: to take pictures, right, especially when you're on a resort, 638 00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 1: Like you don't really need to have access to call 639 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:05,080 Speaker 1: somebody from a safety standpoint outside of your room. If 640 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:06,960 Speaker 1: you're at a resort, it's not like I'm going anywhere. 641 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,280 Speaker 1: And so let's get cameras and then we don't have 642 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,120 Speaker 1: to worry about having our phones at all time. Like 643 00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,720 Speaker 1: that would be such a cool experience to really go 644 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,840 Speaker 1: on vacation and really not be able to be contacted 645 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,320 Speaker 1: or not have the pool to look at things or 646 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,040 Speaker 1: pay attention to what's happening all over the place when 647 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:26,400 Speaker 1: we're trying to relax and decompress and just like recharge. 648 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,040 Speaker 1: And like I said before, I think a lot of 649 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:33,000 Speaker 1: this comes from a desire to both fit in and 650 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:36,560 Speaker 1: be okay, which at base level is a healthy desire. 651 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,680 Speaker 1: We need to be included to survive. We look to 652 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:43,320 Speaker 1: our neighbors to see if we're in line, But if 653 00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 1: our neighbors are out of sync, are we then going 654 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,840 Speaker 1: to start syncing up with the out of sync? And 655 00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,680 Speaker 1: I think that's something that I've been questioning. Am I 656 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,800 Speaker 1: sinking to the out of sync? Am I unsinking myself? 657 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,960 Speaker 1: And when I say sync, I mean s ync, not 658 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,800 Speaker 1: sinking down? I guess both could work. 659 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:01,160 Speaker 2: To an extent. 660 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:04,600 Speaker 1: And also, I said before, I've gotten through twenty five 661 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,600 Speaker 1: thirty pages of this book, so I'm sure I'm going 662 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,280 Speaker 1: to be sharing more of what I learn, and I'm 663 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 1: excited to do that. But really, what the beginning of 664 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:17,640 Speaker 1: this book has helped me start to question in a 665 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:22,680 Speaker 1: good way, is Hey, this idea of normal that we 666 00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:26,440 Speaker 1: look to isn't always the same idea in all these spaces. 667 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:30,320 Speaker 1: And so when this person says this is normal, levels 668 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:33,600 Speaker 1: you're okay. That could make sense and could be cool 669 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,320 Speaker 1: and great and wonderful and be helpful. But if we're 670 00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,320 Speaker 1: over here saying well, this is normal, so it's okay, 671 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,800 Speaker 1: normal might not mean okay over there, and so we 672 00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:46,120 Speaker 1: can't trust the word normal anymore. It's my brain is 673 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:49,160 Speaker 1: doing summerselts as I'm saying this because it's so confusing 674 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,040 Speaker 1: at the same time it's not but really, normal just 675 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,960 Speaker 1: is not always a helpful gauge anymore in a lot 676 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:59,440 Speaker 1: of instances, and maybe it never was and we just 677 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:03,960 Speaker 1: didn't know. I'm assuming that's really where he's going with that. 678 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,440 Speaker 1: Gabora Mate is going with the title of the book, 679 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:10,560 Speaker 1: the myth of normal. The meaning we've placed on this 680 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:14,120 Speaker 1: is so complex that it doesn't really have the meaning 681 00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:14,759 Speaker 1: that we thought it. 682 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,000 Speaker 2: Did at all. 683 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,839 Speaker 1: And I probably could summarize this whole episode. What I'm 684 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:24,120 Speaker 1: saying is with the if everybody jumped off of a bridge, 685 00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:26,800 Speaker 1: would you do it? Kind of rhetoric that our parents 686 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:28,560 Speaker 1: would tell us when we wanted to do things that 687 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,560 Speaker 1: everyone else was doing, and it was the most annoying 688 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,880 Speaker 1: thing to hear as a kid, and also one of 689 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,239 Speaker 1: the most helpful questions that we can ask ourselves. Now, 690 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,719 Speaker 1: are we following the crowd or listening to our own 691 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:41,640 Speaker 1: needs and wants, not just socially, not just when it 692 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,680 Speaker 1: comes to styles and looks and crocs, but when it 693 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:48,320 Speaker 1: comes to our bodies, our internal health, our needs, our 694 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:53,560 Speaker 1: social needs, our environmental needs, Like are we looking to 695 00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:58,640 Speaker 1: the wrong gauges to access answers, and I don't know. 696 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,000 Speaker 1: This episode is more of opening up a window to 697 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:05,960 Speaker 1: thought than giving you answers, and I don't like that. 698 00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:07,200 Speaker 1: I like to have an answer at the end of 699 00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,440 Speaker 1: the episode, like I tell you guys a lot of times, 700 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,439 Speaker 1: but I don't think that's always my role. And kind 701 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:15,200 Speaker 1: of like what I was talking about with processing things 702 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:17,399 Speaker 1: in real time with you guys in the world, I'm 703 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,560 Speaker 1: processing this kind of stuff with you as well, and 704 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,319 Speaker 1: it's kind of a cool place to be that we're 705 00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:25,160 Speaker 1: kind of in this together, and can we acknowledge that 706 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,520 Speaker 1: we're in this together. We're confused together, we're working on 707 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:31,520 Speaker 1: it together, but we are in it. So that's really 708 00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,719 Speaker 1: all I have to share with you guys on this. 709 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:38,319 Speaker 1: Hopefully it gets your brain moving and thinking and you 710 00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:41,680 Speaker 1: become more aware of the things you need versus the 711 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:44,360 Speaker 1: things that you have been told to accept or to 712 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,759 Speaker 1: be okay with. And maybe sometimes it's better to not 713 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,320 Speaker 1: be in the norm. Maybe I will throw my phone 714 00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:52,680 Speaker 1: into a ditch somewhere. I don't think I'm gonna do that, 715 00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:54,680 Speaker 1: but it sounds wonderful and I do think there'd be 716 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,040 Speaker 1: a lot of benefits to it. Maybe I'll give an 717 00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:58,880 Speaker 1: update on that later. That's going to do it for 718 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:02,040 Speaker 1: me today. I hope you guys are having the day 719 00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,960 Speaker 1: you need to have, whatever that means for you at 720 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,040 Speaker 1: this moment. You can find us at You Need Therapy 721 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:11,399 Speaker 1: Podcast on Instagram, at kat van Buren on Instagram, and 722 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,960 Speaker 1: you can email me Katherine at you Need Therapy podcast 723 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:15,440 Speaker 1: dot com. 724 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:16,279 Speaker 2: Talk to you soon,