1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:05,800 Speaker 1: Andie Martinez in Real Life podcast. This episode and conversation 2 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:08,880 Speaker 1: is powered by I Do Say, the Andie Martinez I 3 00:00:09,039 --> 00:00:13,280 Speaker 1: r L podcast. This is now an extension to that, 4 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 1: and it's called I r L Takeaways. UM. So I 5 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:19,599 Speaker 1: decided to do these in between pods, um just to 6 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,439 Speaker 1: kind of connect with you guys. Number one, to say 7 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 1: thank you because the response to this Kelly Rowland episode 8 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 1: has been unbelievable, I mean all of them. What happens 9 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: is we drop an episode of an interview and then 10 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 1: I read all your comments and I get all the 11 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:34,560 Speaker 1: reaction and I almost I need a space to talk 12 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: to you guys. Or I get a chance to collect 13 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 1: all the takeaways, all the things that people connected to most, 14 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,640 Speaker 1: all the things that I connected to most after a conversation. 15 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,159 Speaker 1: So in between these interview podcasts, M moving forward, I'm 16 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 1: going to uh drop I r L Takeaway. It will 17 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,479 Speaker 1: be only audio only, So shout out to all my 18 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: subscribers of the audio podcast. I appreciate you. Uh if 19 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: you're just listening now for the first time, please subscribe 20 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: so you get these bonus I r L Takeaway episodes. UH. 21 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 1: So today, Yeah, we'll just do kind of like a 22 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: recap of this Kelly Roland episode, which I love so 23 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 1: much and thank you guys so much for the incredible 24 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 1: feedback on it. Um, we're gonna talk to actually the 25 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:17,399 Speaker 1: private investigator that found my father. Um. For those of 26 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:19,680 Speaker 1: you who didn't see the Kelly Roland episode, it is 27 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:22,560 Speaker 1: a lot about my connection to Kelly in terms of 28 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 1: her reconnecting with her father and then my attempt to 29 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: reconnect with my father, uh to find out that he 30 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,679 Speaker 1: was not interested in reconnecting and all of that what 31 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,759 Speaker 1: that brought up for me. Um, but also talking about 32 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,520 Speaker 1: daddy issues and resolving them and UH, it is a 33 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: great interview, and I hope you guys take a moment 34 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: to check it out if you haven't already. So we're 35 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: gonna talk to the private investigator who actually found my father, 36 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 1: uh and give us some tips for anybody who out 37 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: there who's interested in reconnecting with a family member, because 38 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 1: I learned a lot in the process, Like number one, 39 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: you don't just show up at somebody's house and knock 40 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: on their door. That is not the protocol for reconnecting 41 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: with lost loved one. So we're gonna talk to him 42 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: and he's gonna give you some of those pointers coming 43 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 1: up in just a few minutes. But um, but in 44 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,960 Speaker 1: the meantime, my show producer Brittany's in here with me 45 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 1: right now and um, M easy who um produces my 46 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: radio show. Uh and M does a podcast. What is 47 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 1: it a podcast that you do with Taylor. Yes, it's 48 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 1: a podcast called empty Thoughts. We have a lot of 49 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: wild things we think about it about that day and 50 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:27,839 Speaker 1: sometimes you just want to express it. Okay, I heard you, 51 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 1: heard you, So you and Taylor. I asked you to 52 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 1: come in the room for a second because I was 53 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,239 Speaker 1: at the elevator and Taylor was telling me that she 54 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,359 Speaker 1: connected with this episode and watched it and she was 55 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,080 Speaker 1: very moved by it. And um, and so, since this 56 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,239 Speaker 1: is like takeaways, I was definitely curious about some of 57 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 1: your takeaways from the episode. I was, I was so 58 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: and you'r is telling your story. I was like, and 59 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 1: I'm a daddy's girl too, so I'm just like, you 60 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,680 Speaker 1: grew up with your dad? Yeah? Yeah, So I was 61 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: just like, do people who are daddy's girls have daddy 62 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:59,239 Speaker 1: issues too? I the only daddy issue and issues, I 63 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,520 Speaker 1: don't know if it's daddy it's not daddy issues. I 64 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: have issues, but it's not daddy issues. But um, I 65 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: would just say the only dad issue to have is 66 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: like my dad's on a pedestal, So like a lot 67 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 1: of these guys got to measure up to that. That's 68 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 1: how I look at it. That's a good pedestal. That's 69 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 1: a good daddy issue. Any of the daddy issues, I 70 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: think that's probably the best one. Is that you want 71 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 1: to find a partner that's gonna love you, or somebody's 72 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,839 Speaker 1: gonna treat you. I mean, nobody's gonna nobody's gonna treat 73 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:27,920 Speaker 1: you like I'm realizing that too, And these guys can't 74 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 1: match up. Is that a daddy issue or is that 75 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: a daddy saddy? I think that's the way it should be. Yeah, 76 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 1: that's what I said. They're not wrong with high standards, Taylor. 77 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 1: But what else? What are the things can we tap 78 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: into from this episode? Oh? I really liked um you 79 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 1: know what hit me? When my parents are young parents, right, 80 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: So my mom had me with shoes eighteen, So growing 81 00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 1: up I always idolized my parents, right, But then they 82 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: had a rough patch in their marriage, and as I 83 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 1: got older, I started to see them for like humans. 84 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: And Kelly talks a little bit about that, like that 85 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: forgiveness spot and like seeing them from being a human 86 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 1: with flaws. Yeah, I love that part part. Kelly said, 87 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 1: she was like, I was gonna tell him about himself. 88 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,040 Speaker 1: He was this, he was that. Then she she said, 89 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: he walked in and I could just see like his 90 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 1: age and the time, and she's older too and understanding. Yeah, 91 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,480 Speaker 1: but then you see them as a human being. You 92 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 1: see this man who's been through all these things. He 93 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: got over his alcoholism. I'm talking about her father. He 94 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 1: he was ready to reconnect. Like she just let him 95 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: be who he is and got to know him. And 96 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 1: I love that point point to that where they talk 97 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 1: about getting to know each other. She was so great. 98 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 1: One of my other favorite parts of the episode, um 99 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: is when we talk about her standing next to Beyonce. Yeah, 100 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 1: because I almost didn't want to bring up Beyonce the 101 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,719 Speaker 1: whole interview because I just feel like, probably earlier in 102 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: their career is there's always this thing about Beyonce and 103 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 1: and Destiny's child, and Kelly has always been so dope 104 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: and so bright and so talented that I always try 105 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 1: to make sure that I'm giving her her own light 106 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 1: in her own moment and not falling. You know, Beyonce's 107 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 1: clickbait for anybody. So if you're interviewing Kelly and you 108 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: get a Beyonce moment or she says something, and then 109 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 1: everybody uses that, and so I'm sensitive to that. So 110 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 1: we really didn't. I really was going to not talk 111 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: about Beyonce at all, just so I could make sure 112 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 1: I didn't make her feel that way in anyway. But 113 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: then we were talking about her being at Coachella and 114 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 1: she was saying how much fun she had with the girls, 115 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 1: and and it really was a dope moment. I love 116 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 1: seeing that, but I feel like also a lot of 117 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:44,680 Speaker 1: people saw that, and well what I like my friends, 118 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: I always was a Kelly fan, so I wasn't. I 119 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 1: never looked at her like number two. Yeah, I never 120 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,960 Speaker 1: looked at her like that, like I would be excited 121 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 1: when she had she was singing first or something like 122 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 1: like she got and she's gorgeous and right the thing 123 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:12,359 Speaker 1: she had. She's her own light. But it is to 124 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 1: be said because Beyonce is a one of a client 125 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,040 Speaker 1: type of life. That's why she is as big as 126 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 1: she is across the globe. Because you can't deny what 127 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 1: that is. No matter who is standing next to her, 128 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 1: she is Beyonce. But the fact that Kelly can stand 129 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 1: next to her whole life and be as bright and 130 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:33,320 Speaker 1: be as bright, and be as encouraging, supportive and never 131 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 1: resentful and never It's not just the thing to not 132 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 1: be resentful, it's a thing to also be able to 133 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:43,839 Speaker 1: be feel good about you not compare yourself because comparison 134 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 1: is like the fucking worst thing we do to ourselves. 135 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 1: A lot of people could benefit from that lesson from Kelly. 136 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. I love I love that she 137 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 1: said that, and so I'm glad that we did talk 138 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 1: about Beyonce just a little bit in the episode. I mean, 139 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:59,280 Speaker 1: I could do a whole episode about but that that 140 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,880 Speaker 1: would be for your time. UM well, I would say 141 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,720 Speaker 1: another thing is, just from some of the comments, is 142 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: there's a lot of people out there that, um, you 143 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,000 Speaker 1: know that either want to reconnect or curious or thinking 144 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 1: about the idea of connecting with a a parent or 145 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: a family member. I'm dealing with that right now. What 146 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: what and easy? And you're sitting next to us every day. 147 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 1: You never mentioned this. Um, Me and my father weren't 148 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: on the greatest terms. I spent a year from with 149 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: him in Florida, and I escaped and never looked back. 150 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: And now that I've had kids, my mom and my 151 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: wife are trying to get me to open that door 152 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: and reconnect with him. So I'm trying to open up 153 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 1: my heart to that. How many years ago is that? Uh? 154 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 1: I want to say, ninety three? You haven't you know where? 155 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 1: You know where he is, and he knows where you are. 156 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 1: My mom is the connection between the two of us. 157 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: When he found out I was having kids, he sent 158 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 1: the money. I sent him a letter like it's not terrible, 159 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,600 Speaker 1: but it's I think I just need to get out 160 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 1: of my own way and just let it happen. Has 161 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 1: he tried to connect with you, Yes, it's just when 162 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: I needed you, you wasn't there. I don't need you 163 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 1: right now, so what do we But I know it's 164 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 1: just so that's totally you being stubborn, and who knows 165 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 1: what type of relationship he'll have. Sometimes not great parents 166 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: are amazing grandparents. No, it's really true. I mean my 167 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,839 Speaker 1: mother was a great mother, but there's a different type 168 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 1: of love. You see, I don't know I see her 169 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 1: with Niko and I'm like, Mom, you're not gonna get 170 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 1: on his case about that. There's a different type of 171 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,560 Speaker 1: love that grandparents have. So if not for yourself, which 172 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,200 Speaker 1: you might be surprised, you might connect with him and 173 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,719 Speaker 1: like it or not whatever, but it might give him 174 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 1: a chance to be a grandparent. I'm trying to do 175 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: it this year. I'm putting together a family re union. 176 00:08:54,440 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 1: I'm gonna invite yeah, yeah, for you. And by the way, 177 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 1: whether it goes well Kelly Rowland h Kelly Rowland version 178 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:08,440 Speaker 1: or doesn't go as well and Martinez version, it's it's 179 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:12,200 Speaker 1: you opening your heart. It's you with the forgiveness. It's 180 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 1: this is what I learned from Kelly in this episode. 181 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 1: It's you who showing the grace. So no matter how 182 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: it ends, you might reconnect with him and be like, 183 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,679 Speaker 1: you know what, I was better without him in my life, 184 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 1: and that might happen, But you are letting it go 185 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:26,120 Speaker 1: and you are giving it a chance, and that shows 186 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,800 Speaker 1: your heart and your grace. So do that for your kids. Man, 187 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: please come back on the pod and we'll discuss how 188 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,200 Speaker 1: it wins. But but there are people who don't even 189 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 1: know where their parents are. So I've actually got the 190 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:39,360 Speaker 1: detective calling in. He is the one. He is the 191 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 1: one who found Evelyn's grandfather and my father, and he 192 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 1: were going to talk to him a little bit about 193 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:47,560 Speaker 1: what those steps are for people who are looking to reconnect, 194 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:52,079 Speaker 1: because like for me, I didn't have the notion of honestly, 195 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: if he didn't tell me you shouldn't call, let me 196 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: call first, I would have just showed up and think 197 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:01,599 Speaker 1: that guy was gonna be like ok. He was like no, No, 198 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,880 Speaker 1: people have lives and they're buried, and you showing up. 199 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 1: It's not always going to be the best idea. So 200 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,679 Speaker 1: I was like okay, and then he called, and that's 201 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 1: when I found out that he didn't want to talk 202 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 1: to me. He didn't want to connect. But had I 203 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: not known that from this man, I might have ran 204 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:21,720 Speaker 1: into something that could have been really, really really bad. Yeah, 205 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,880 Speaker 1: who knows. So, Um, anyway, I think he's we're going 206 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: to get him on the phone now, so I have 207 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: J on the phone. He is from birth parent finder 208 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:41,200 Speaker 1: dot com. J is the person who actually found Evelyn 209 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:46,520 Speaker 1: Lozada's grandfather and then was the person that found my father. Um, 210 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,599 Speaker 1: so I don't know if first of all, Hi J H, 211 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,679 Speaker 1: thank you so much for taking time today. I don't 212 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 1: know if you know what. I told the story on 213 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: my uh this past episode of my podcast with Kelly 214 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: Rowland about um about you finding my father and the 215 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: whole evalence story and how it and I did and 216 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,320 Speaker 1: I watched it. Oh you did watch it? I did? 217 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 1: What did you think? Uh? You know what it was? 218 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 1: It was beautifully done. Actually, really thank you? Thank you? Yeah? 219 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,960 Speaker 1: Was any of it surprising to you? I didn't know 220 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,839 Speaker 1: you were going in public with it, and when E 221 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,559 Speaker 1: told me about it, like a wow, that's amazing. Good 222 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 1: for you. Yeah. Yeah, because I think there's a lot 223 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,960 Speaker 1: of people in um, you know that can can. I 224 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,480 Speaker 1: think there's a lot of people that kind of go 225 00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 1: through similar experiences. And also I was so fascinated with 226 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: Kelly's journey that she's been through and wondering what you know, 227 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:44,679 Speaker 1: because anyway, just having that connection about daddy issues and 228 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 1: how the generation you know, how generational issues can affect 229 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 1: not only you but your kids and and all that. 230 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 1: So I thought it was an important conversation to have 231 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: and she was great. But what happened was when we 232 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,720 Speaker 1: dropped the episode, I realized from some of the comments 233 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 1: and some of the reaction. How many people connected to that, 234 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,160 Speaker 1: and then how many people were are in the process 235 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:08,400 Speaker 1: of thinking about reconnecting with a family member. Um, and 236 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 1: I talked about how you kind of guided me through that, 237 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 1: and I don't know. I guess I would ask you, 238 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,000 Speaker 1: is what, as a professional somebody who does this all 239 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,880 Speaker 1: the time and reconnects families and finds people, what is 240 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 1: the first step when when someone's having that that thought. Well, 241 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 1: as you know, the first step is knowing whether you're ready. 242 00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 1: Are you ready for this information? Are you ready to 243 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 1: find out more about your whether it's your mother or 244 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 1: your father or a sibling. Do you need to know 245 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 1: that right away? And we want to know the reason. Um. 246 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,319 Speaker 1: Sometimes they want to know what they look like, sometimes 247 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,640 Speaker 1: they want medical history information. It varies with people. But 248 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: I just really want to make sure you're ready. And 249 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 1: then after that I need to know obviously what information 250 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: you have for us to find out m M and 251 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 1: then you go looking for them exactly. But I will 252 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,920 Speaker 1: say this, and I said this to Kelly, Kelly, I 253 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:02,840 Speaker 1: it didn't occur to me until you said it to me, UM, 254 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,560 Speaker 1: that not not all people want to be reconnected with 255 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,840 Speaker 1: Definitely on the other side, the people that are being 256 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,040 Speaker 1: looked for, like a lot of times the parents or 257 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 1: the family members. Um, they are not open to it. No, 258 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 1: that I would say that happens probably of the time. 259 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 1: So so you advised, So you advised me not to 260 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,319 Speaker 1: make the call myself or not to be like intrusive 261 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: and show up like the in the movies, like people 262 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,319 Speaker 1: go and they knock on the door and like, Hi, 263 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:35,240 Speaker 1: here you I found my long lost parent. You you 264 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 1: actually kind of uh, don't think people should do that. Correct, No, 265 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,080 Speaker 1: that's the worst thing. And believe or not. In my 266 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,240 Speaker 1: company's contract, we actually have that thing. Do not reach 267 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,080 Speaker 1: out on your own. That's what you pay us to do, 268 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 1: and that's what we're professionals. Yeah, but why so why why? 269 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,440 Speaker 1: Why is that exactly? Like, why do you tell people 270 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,640 Speaker 1: not to just show up? Like what do people face? 271 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,719 Speaker 1: Because they may be never told anyone and they will 272 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: take us to the grave and if if there, if 273 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 1: their child answers the door, who they never told? That's traumatic, 274 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: it really is. And I can tell you a quick 275 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,760 Speaker 1: story real quick. This is this is funny. I am 276 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,679 Speaker 1: very rarely do I go out and knock on someone's 277 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: door because these cases all over the country, and I 278 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,680 Speaker 1: had a case where I this lady didn't live too 279 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,280 Speaker 1: far from me. She was a birth mother, couldn't get 280 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 1: ahold of her biphone. So I actually went to her house, 281 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:25,760 Speaker 1: knocked on her door. She opened the door, and I 282 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 1: told her who I was, explained to her, and she said, 283 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 1: I'll get back to you, and then she called me 284 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: the next thing, and she goes, you're not gonna believe this. 285 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 1: But when we were talking, my ring camera went up 286 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 1: and my kids heard the entire conversation, and I never 287 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,720 Speaker 1: told them about my daughter. It's like, oh my god, 288 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 1: I had no clue. But it all worked out fine. 289 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 1: But that's a really weird way to tell someone. But 290 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 1: that goes back to saying, you know, you'd never want 291 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,560 Speaker 1: to reach out on your own. Have you witnessed anybody 292 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 1: do that. I haven't witnessed it in person, but I've 293 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 1: heard horror stories about showing up with flowers to your 294 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 1: birth mother's residents and saying, hi, I'm your in law's 295 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 1: daughter and the birth mother passing out. Oh God. It's 296 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: also probably people have to be prepared for that moment, right, 297 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 1: Like someone has to be kind of prepped right, and 298 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 1: we don't know the circumstances, and I get these I 299 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,440 Speaker 1: actually have been going on right now, the circumstances with 300 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:19,680 Speaker 1: the birth mother was sexually assaulted back in the nineteen 301 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 1: sixties debt. You know, it was very different back then. 302 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 1: If you say, hey, I was sexually assaulted, the police 303 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:29,600 Speaker 1: or nobody really does anything different from today. So they 304 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,240 Speaker 1: she puts the child up for adoption, doesn't tell anyone, 305 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:36,479 Speaker 1: doesn't tell anyone the circumstances, and now this is all rehashed, 306 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 1: but it gets rehashed through me, and I try to 307 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,520 Speaker 1: do my very best, and sometimes I don't even tell 308 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,640 Speaker 1: my clients that that's what happened because that could be 309 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 1: traumatic for my client. That this must be an emotional 310 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,600 Speaker 1: process to watch people go through this whole thing and 311 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,920 Speaker 1: finding these long laws because it's not always parents, right, 312 00:15:53,960 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's just other relatives, grandparents or siblings to siblings. Yeah. Yeah, 313 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: But I'm sure you've seen happy endings too, huh. Most 314 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,400 Speaker 1: of the time they they end very well. And we 315 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 1: we we have a little TV segment that we do 316 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:13,200 Speaker 1: in Los Angeles, and we always felt heartwarming reunion stories 317 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 1: that that's that's what brings people together. Yeah, what's the 318 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 1: best one give me, because Kelly Rowlands is pretty great. 319 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 1: What I loved about Kelly's is that he was ready. 320 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 1: She was ready. He was in a better place. He 321 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:29,320 Speaker 1: used to have, you know, alcohol problems, and he had 322 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,920 Speaker 1: gotten past that. So they were both ready. So they 323 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 1: both come to the table with like open hearts and 324 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: and they're now they're learning how to be you know 325 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,040 Speaker 1: in this relationship. Is a great story to me. And 326 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,080 Speaker 1: he gets to have this relationship with her kids, her 327 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,320 Speaker 1: kids get to be reunited with their grandfather. It's uh, 328 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,200 Speaker 1: you know, I think that that was a great story. 329 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 1: I'm sure you have one. They're all good stories. But 330 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 1: the one that stands us to most to me as 331 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 1: far as a great story, um was. I was hired 332 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 1: by this woman probably thirty years old, and she was 333 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 1: raised by a woman who was actually her grandmother, but 334 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 1: she was told that that person was her mother, and 335 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,760 Speaker 1: it's actually her sister was her mother. It was because 336 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,680 Speaker 1: her sister was sixteen at the time, and he said, 337 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,200 Speaker 1: let's just say, your grandmother's your mother. So she took 338 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: a DNA test and that's how she found out that 339 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,399 Speaker 1: her sister was her mother. My job was to find 340 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:19,159 Speaker 1: her father. So your DNA found the father and this 341 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,680 Speaker 1: guy had no clue whatsoever that he fathered a child. 342 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,399 Speaker 1: So we did a zoom reunion. He lived in a 343 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,919 Speaker 1: different state. We did a zoom reunion with her and 344 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 1: him on Father's Day, and as soon as she said 345 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 1: Happy Father's Day, the whole room was bawling. It was 346 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:38,080 Speaker 1: just so emotional. And that's that's actually had my Instagram page. 347 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,960 Speaker 1: It's it's it's a It was unbelievable, it was. It 348 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,959 Speaker 1: was so heartwarming, but it was it was very confusing, 349 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,200 Speaker 1: wasn't it. I mean, think about it. She she's raised 350 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:49,160 Speaker 1: all this time by her grandmother, thinking that's her mother. 351 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:54,439 Speaker 1: She so how do you do that? Yeah, so DNA does. 352 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,760 Speaker 1: The DNA take a big, big part of what you 353 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 1: guys do. DNA is a major part of it. But 354 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,720 Speaker 1: what great about New York? The State of New York, 355 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,119 Speaker 1: right when the pandemic hit, they opened their birth records 356 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,960 Speaker 1: so an adoptee can get their original birth certificate from 357 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,240 Speaker 1: the State of New York. And when that happened, we 358 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,880 Speaker 1: just got so many cases in New York because they 359 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 1: get their original birth certificate, then they're going to see 360 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,439 Speaker 1: a name on it, but that's a maiden name, so 361 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 1: they're not gonna know what to do. So they hire 362 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:23,359 Speaker 1: us and we find the mother, We get if she's alive, 363 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:27,240 Speaker 1: get her contact information, reach out, and the majority these 364 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,040 Speaker 1: cases they work out very well. But I have to 365 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,560 Speaker 1: explain to the mother that even though this was a 366 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,320 Speaker 1: closed adoption, the records are now available and a lot 367 00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:37,080 Speaker 1: of times they didn't realize that, so you have to 368 00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 1: explain that. Yeah, Um, I just have a question because 369 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,720 Speaker 1: there might be some people that are interested. But is 370 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:46,640 Speaker 1: this an expensive process? It's it's all relative. I mean, 371 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,199 Speaker 1: what what do you consider expensive? It really depends on 372 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,840 Speaker 1: the situation. I guess I was asking for maybe somebody 373 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 1: who wanted to do this on their own or financially 374 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:56,119 Speaker 1: they couldn't hire somebody to help them, and they're not 375 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,359 Speaker 1: in that position. Like if somebody wanted to try to 376 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: just find a family. Remember, is there a place to start? 377 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,640 Speaker 1: Take a DNA test, And I prefer ancestry dot com 378 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 1: because more people test with that company. And then if 379 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,760 Speaker 1: you find a first cousin, you may be able to 380 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,680 Speaker 1: figure out who your birth parent did it, depending on 381 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,399 Speaker 1: what non identifying information you have on that person. But 382 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,520 Speaker 1: most people just can't figure that out and then they 383 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: hires to solve the case. Well, thank you so much. 384 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,200 Speaker 1: I thank you for all of it. I think, I mean, 385 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,919 Speaker 1: this was this was a turn for me that I 386 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,399 Speaker 1: didn't expect. I had evident on the show she mentioned 387 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,640 Speaker 1: what you what you did for her, and then after 388 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:34,800 Speaker 1: I said, okay, sure if you found a picture of 389 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,639 Speaker 1: my father two days later. I don't know how you 390 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,160 Speaker 1: did it, but you sent me a photo and knew 391 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: everything about his life, which was I mean, it was fascinating. 392 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,359 Speaker 1: And you also gave me great advice in terms of 393 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,480 Speaker 1: not you know, calling myself or not showing up myself. 394 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,720 Speaker 1: I'm definitely grateful for that, for that advice because his 395 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:56,720 Speaker 1: wife didn't know. Yeah, I know, I know. Uh. Well, 396 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 1: thank you for your time, J. I appreciate it so much. 397 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,040 Speaker 1: Your very and if people want to contact you specifically 398 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,520 Speaker 1: or your company specifically, it is birth parent finder dot 399 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,479 Speaker 1: com correct birth parent finder dot com and they can 400 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 1: find us on social media Instagram at birth parent finder. 401 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:16,280 Speaker 1: All right, J, take care, Thank you so much. Thank you. Okay, bye, 402 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:20,720 Speaker 1: that was great. So wait, M while we have you 403 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,920 Speaker 1: still in the room. First of all, um, so talk 404 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 1: about your story. I mean, you have a different story 405 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 1: because you're not looking for your father. You know exactly 406 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:32,159 Speaker 1: where your father is. But if you do decide to reconnect, 407 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:37,479 Speaker 1: do you just show up with flowers? Well? Do you 408 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,359 Speaker 1: call and prepare him and give him mentally time and 409 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:44,760 Speaker 1: emotionally time to show up to connect with you too. Um. 410 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,520 Speaker 1: I don't have any expectations when it comes to meeting 411 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,440 Speaker 1: my dad because I think, like Kelly Rowland said, I 412 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:51,919 Speaker 1: don't want to go in there with with all these 413 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 1: emotions and then he hits me with that I missed you, 414 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 1: and I'm like, just shows you down. So I'm going 415 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,119 Speaker 1: in there with no expectation and just hoping that you 416 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,440 Speaker 1: just love Yeah, Oh, I love that. I think you 417 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:07,240 Speaker 1: should do it sooner than later. I have a plan 418 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,680 Speaker 1: for the summertime about my birthday. There's a secret I'll 419 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,720 Speaker 1: tell you off and that's happening that so, but you 420 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 1: are committed to this. I think it's the missing piece 421 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,040 Speaker 1: in my life. I love that. It's funny how many 422 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,480 Speaker 1: people connect with this topic, whether you're looking for somebody 423 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 1: or you're just disconnected just from somebody and you have 424 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:27,159 Speaker 1: like this, like I don't know, just this like want 425 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,000 Speaker 1: or desire to reconnect with somebody that you care about something, 426 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 1: especially a parent. I mean, you can't, you know, It's 427 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,240 Speaker 1: that's different. After we finished the episode with Kelly Rowland 428 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 1: our our film are, the director of the episode actually 429 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,159 Speaker 1: came over and he really doesn't I don't know not 430 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,200 Speaker 1: too much about him. I had just met him. He's 431 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,119 Speaker 1: done a few episodes for us. I don't know anything 432 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 1: about his personal life. And at the end of the 433 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,359 Speaker 1: Kelly Rolling episode, he came over and told us that 434 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,919 Speaker 1: he had he tried to reconnect with his father. His 435 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,879 Speaker 1: father also wasn't interested in connecting with him, so he 436 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,520 Speaker 1: connected to my version of the story. Uh. And we 437 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 1: had this group hug and Kelly is so sweet. I mean, 438 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,640 Speaker 1: Kelly is like the most gracious person, so art. So 439 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:07,080 Speaker 1: the director talking me, then Kelly comes over and she's talking. 440 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,160 Speaker 1: I mean, it was like a real nice moment after 441 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,760 Speaker 1: the episode. Um, but you know, that's what this is about, 442 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 1: sharing our stories, connected with people, making everybody feel like, 443 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 1: you know, seeing and and um yeah, and it's it's 444 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,639 Speaker 1: stipe when it comes back around. So um yeah. So 445 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,040 Speaker 1: thank you guys, And if you haven't checked out to 446 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: Kelly Roland episode. It is definitely worth it. I took 447 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,000 Speaker 1: a lot away from it. I thank her for that. 448 00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:35,320 Speaker 1: And I don't know, just this one little other thought 449 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:36,960 Speaker 1: this takes I had a comment this is what the 450 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,280 Speaker 1: takeaways are about, right, So we watched the episodes and 451 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 1: then we had what what was inspired by? What thoughts? 452 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,600 Speaker 1: What conversations? And I do want to include you guys 453 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:49,080 Speaker 1: who have been commenting and subscribing and um sending notes 454 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,720 Speaker 1: on socials. I read all the comments. I can't reply 455 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,600 Speaker 1: to every comment because I also have to do things 456 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 1: in life, but but I read all the comments. So um, 457 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,159 Speaker 1: this will be a space hopefully these by week takeaway 458 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 1: podcasts that we can talk about some of your reactions 459 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,720 Speaker 1: to some of the episode. So I really appreciate that. 460 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,320 Speaker 1: And I did see a lot of people that were 461 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 1: debating whether or not to move forward with reconnecting. And 462 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,919 Speaker 1: I did have a conversation with somebody that I did 463 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:20,480 Speaker 1: want to share that goes back to what Kelly Rowland 464 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,120 Speaker 1: was saying about the fact that what does it say 465 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 1: about you? It's not about the other person. What does 466 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 1: it say about you about forgiveness, about letting go, about 467 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:35,080 Speaker 1: living your life with love and not fear. UM, I 468 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:38,199 Speaker 1: don't know. For me, I have no regrets UM. And 469 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,919 Speaker 1: if you are thinking about it, you've got to do 470 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 1: what's right for you. But we wish you luck and 471 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,800 Speaker 1: I hope that something in this conversation maybe you could 472 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,719 Speaker 1: use as a takeaway in your own life. UM. So 473 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,560 Speaker 1: thank you guys so much for checking out the episode. 474 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,399 Speaker 1: If you haven't yet, it's on my YouTube page and 475 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,199 Speaker 1: Martinez in real life. Please make sure you subscribe and 476 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,399 Speaker 1: leave comments because we will use your comments in the 477 00:23:56,440 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 1: next episode of the I r L Takeaways, So thanks again, guys.