WEBVTT - Shay Mitchell: Pre-Pandemic (Pt. 1) 0:00:01.520 --> 0:00:04.360 Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio 0:00:04.480 --> 0:00:14.920 in partnership with I Heart Radio. Hi everybody, welcome back 0:00:14.960 --> 0:00:18.919 to Katie's Crib. You guys here we are. We did it. 0:00:19.760 --> 0:00:23.239 This is the season three finale of Katie's Crib. Thank 0:00:23.280 --> 0:00:27.960 you guys so much for listening. My Katie's Crib community 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:31.840 has been such a source of inspiration and support during 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:38.280 this incredibly challenging epic up and down learning and unlearning 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:43.960 wild Year and what we have here for the season 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:46.840 three finale is actually a two part or it's two 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:49.440 episodes for the price of one. That's right, folks, It 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:53.920 is a two for with the one and only Shay Mitchell. 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:56.960 I am so excited. Part one. Why we had to 0:00:57.000 --> 0:00:59.800 do it two for I'll explain is that the first 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:05.600 episode Shay and I actually recorded on March twelve, that is, 0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:08.679 the day before shutdown. Shane and I met in person. 0:01:08.720 --> 0:01:10.959 This was the last in person interview I did for 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:14.120 Katie's Crib. We bumped elbows because we didn't know if 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:16.360 it was safe to hug, even though we really wanted to. 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:19.040 There was hand sanitizer all over the table's toilet paper 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:22.319 had been thought from all the grocery stores, and we 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:25.600 didn't know what was on the horizon. So I'm very 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:29.080 excited for you to listen to the version of Shay 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:33.000 Mitchell with her five month old and me with pregnancy 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:36.399 that I didn't know about yet. For episode two of 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:39.319 the finale, Shay and I just met a few days 0:01:39.319 --> 0:01:42.360 ago because I reached out and I was like, Shay, 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:44.840 everyone's gonna want to know how you are now, me 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:49.160 me especially. And so the second episode of the season 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:55.680 finale is February one, Shay Mitchell in February, Katie lows 0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:58.440 I have a newborn. Shay has a one year five 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:02.080 month old. We are in pandemic times, and yet we 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:06.880 understand it more. It has been a year and change 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:10.520 that no one ever ever ever saw coming. So here 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:14.800 you have it, episode one of the season finale of 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:17.720 Katie's christ And then once you've listened to this episode, 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:24.920 head over to part two. I am very excited to 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:28.240 introduce today's guest. She is an actress, she's an entrepreneur. 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:30.520 She is a queen of travel. She is a new 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:32.920 member of a of the Mom Club with a five 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:35.600 month old. We know her as Emily Fields and pretty 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:38.640 little Liars, Peach in You on Netflix, and most recently 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:41.680 Stellic Hole in doll Face on Hulu. Yes. Yes, and 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:44.280 I feel like I've known you for like a hundred 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:47.040 years through Troy and Bellasario. Everybody, welcome the one. The 0:02:47.080 --> 0:02:50.200 only shame it Jael, Hello, Hi, thank you so much 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:53.240 for coming on. I feel like I just can't believe. 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:55.760 I don't think we've met before. We haven't, but I 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:57.680 really think I've met you because I've seen you on 0:02:57.720 --> 0:03:00.600 TV obviously in the same with you, right it No, 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:04.400 but I feel like I know you. It's I'm very 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:08.040 um thrilled that you're here and also that now we 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:10.919 are going to be friends. Um, get ready for friendship, 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:14.280 as I like to say, UM, let's dive in. We 0:03:14.280 --> 0:03:16.360 we guys, we've we've already been talking for like a while, 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:20.600 returned on these mics, so we're already like into a topic. Um, 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:24.360 we were talking about your beautiful daughter Atlas. I love 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:26.160 that name. Thank you. Oh my god, how did you 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:28.760 come up with it? I actually didn't. It was our 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:31.080 good friends who were coming up with a name for 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:33.960 their daughter, like probably about two years ago, and they 0:03:33.960 --> 0:03:35.440 were going through the list and all of a sudden 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:36.760 they hit at lists and I looked at Matt and 0:03:36.800 --> 0:03:40.320 I'm like he's like, whoa. I'm like, they can't they 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:42.360 can't you they can't use that one. And so we're 0:03:42.400 --> 0:03:45.040 like telling her, We're like, uh, we don't really like 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:48.760 it exactly, you know, I thought so too um. And 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:51.120 then all of a sudden, you know, we called her 0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:53.440 Atlas and then she's like, he was Atlas going to 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:58.520 be the name whatever? Boy girl? They no, we have 0:03:58.560 --> 0:04:01.360 a boy named still, we always had a boy name. 0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:03.840 I thought I was having a boy just instinctively. I 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:06.360 was like, I think I'm having a boy, and you 0:04:06.400 --> 0:04:11.560 didn't find out. We did find out, yes, yes, so 0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:13.400 we thought it was boy and until we did the 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:15.480 gender revealed. Then when it was a girl, were like, 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:18.640 we have no name. This is like completely you know, 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:21.880 changing everything we had ever thought about. So Atlas came about. 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:25.080 And then her middle name, Noah, actually got from Twitter. 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:28.960 So I did. Yes. Some fan was like, what do 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:30.920 you guys think Shane mass baby's name is going to be? 0:04:30.960 --> 0:04:32.400 And there was like a list and then they had 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:35.039 Noah and it was an o A. I'm like that's sick. 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:38.080 I called him. I'm like Atlas Noah, and your last 0:04:38.200 --> 0:04:44.200 name was great now Atlas. Um, you guys follow shape Mitchell. Uh, 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:47.440 your beautiful daughter we were talking about. She presents his 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:51.599 white Yes, she is very fair, scary blue eye, she 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:54.719 has light hair, and you and your husband do not. 0:04:55.520 --> 0:04:58.719 You guys are But I'm like me and my boyfriend. 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:03.360 Everybody never knows that I love it because I just 0:05:03.560 --> 0:05:07.960 you know, people like so husband, I'm like, no, my boyfriend, boyfriend. Um, 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:11.599 there's no ring on it, so you know. But um, yes, 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:15.200 Matt and I definitely look like we are mixed because 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:18.279 we are. We each have a parent who's fully Caucasian, 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:21.240 and then he's his dad's from trinidadad my mom's from 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:25.760 the Philippines. She resembles neither of them and just really 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:29.359 resembles my dad and his mom. So yeah, does she 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:32.920 have stuff from both your dad and his mom, just 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:36.280 the blue eyes and the fairer skin. Yeah. And he 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:38.640 was like wait what he looked at me. I was like, 0:05:38.760 --> 0:05:45.000 I swear, you know, we wear it, so yeah, I'm 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:48.120 like I don't know, um, but right away I saw 0:05:48.160 --> 0:05:50.120 her eyes and I was like, yeah, I'm pretty sure 0:05:50.200 --> 0:05:52.279 I wasn't born with these kind of eyes, and everybody 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:54.880 was like, yeah, but they changed, don't that's true, you know, 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:57.400 And everybody did say that, but I was I knew. 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:01.279 I was like, no, she's really does have these crazy 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:04.280 light eyes. Now you're super famous, so people probably already know. 0:06:04.560 --> 0:06:07.440 But I feel like I talk about this with other 0:06:07.480 --> 0:06:09.440 moms I know whose kids don't look anything like them 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:11.559 and they're on the playground and people think they're the nanny. 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:13.600 Oh yeah, sure, like you know, people like that's not 0:06:13.680 --> 0:06:17.119 your kid. Definitely, especially when Matt's like with her walking around, 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:19.680 people are like, oh, cute kid, but like not his. 0:06:19.880 --> 0:06:21.440 You know, they just don't put two in two. It's 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:23.600 like he's holding a friend's kid and the same with me. 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:26.599 So it's interesting, Um, did you always know you wanted 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:31.479 to be a mom? Yes? I always knew that I 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:34.920 wanted to be a mom, but it wasn't something I 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:38.599 had any sort of timeline for or like you know, 0:06:39.040 --> 0:06:41.320 I mean, I wasn't one of those girls. I never 0:06:41.320 --> 0:06:43.320 planned a wedding. I personally don't want to get married. 0:06:43.400 --> 0:06:46.240 I never had this whole expectation of like how things 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:48.400 were going to go. I just thought I'd like that, 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:52.400 so if it happens awesome. So baby was definitely in 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:54.640 the cards for you. But marriage You're like, no, it's 0:06:54.680 --> 0:06:56.279 just you don't feel it. I just don't feel And 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:59.080 I love weddings. I you have a wedding, I'd love 0:06:59.120 --> 0:07:01.480 to go. I'll buy it. If I love weddings, I 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:05.719 love it. But for me, I just feel like, I mean, hey, 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:07.760 this is the biggest commitment we could ever have. I 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:10.320 don't take a ring, like, hey man, I'll take a ring, 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:13.440 but the whole party and all of that, I just 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:16.280 I don't know. I love the fact that I'm like, 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:18.960 come and go and you can do that regardless, but 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:22.520 for me and no, it it's different. I feel like 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:24.080 my first fight with a him when we were married, 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:28.320 I was like, oh, yeah, this is something I can't 0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:30.960 get out of as easily as before. Like I definitely 0:07:31.000 --> 0:07:33.720 remember that being like, holy sh it, like a thing 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:35.800 that it's not. I mean, look, is it not because 0:07:35.840 --> 0:07:37.520 of that? I just like, I don't know. I just 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:40.440 don't feel it for myself. But I love that. And 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:42.560 also Matty, he's your life partner in that might change, 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:46.360 like we might be seeing your wedding at well exactly 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:48.040 and we I like to call it a commitment party. 0:07:48.080 --> 0:07:50.600 So eventually I want to have a commitment party. That's 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:52.320 what people say, is you know, kind of similar to 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:53.720 a wedding. But I want to make a commitment as 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:55.800 a family, and not just to Matt and I. I mean, 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:59.680 we'll be cool forever because we're her parents, but I 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:01.120 want to a commitment that we're going to be the 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:03.080 best parents for her and we're going to be like 0:08:03.360 --> 0:08:06.640 fam jam you know, first and foremost, Um, was that 0:08:06.800 --> 0:08:13.160 was planned? No, she wasn't planned. Um, yeah, she wasn't planned. 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:16.960 And I just kind of had a feeling when I 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:21.160 was pregnant, and because this was the second time, I 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:23.480 may not have been as excited about it. I was 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:26.640 a little scared the second time. So I basically, you know, 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:28.600 telling him was just kind of like, oh, yeah, so 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:30.920 I just took a test and I'm pregnant. Like it 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:34.640 was very like you know, Um, but it wasn't it 0:08:34.679 --> 0:08:38.520 wasn't planned, was it not? Was she was here? Yeah? 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:43.080 She was here? Um. So you have this amazing, huge 0:08:43.080 --> 0:08:45.400 following on social media outside of all of your amazing 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:49.640 roles on TV and film. Um, like you keep certain 0:08:49.679 --> 0:08:52.840 I'm fascinated how you keep some of your life private though, 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:58.280 how like your relationship, Like how do you decide what 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:01.000 does or doesn't or like how do you know what 0:09:01.080 --> 0:09:02.959 to do? Because I haven't posted a picture of my kid, 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:05.880 not because I judge. I just like and I'm I'm 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:08.679 a Libra. I'm really bad at making decisions, and so 0:09:08.840 --> 0:09:10.560 when I can't make a decision, I just don't do 0:09:10.600 --> 0:09:13.360 anything because I'm overwhelmed with fear. I mean, you're my 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:16.600 Matt's a Libra. Yeah, so we're like I get you, 0:09:16.720 --> 0:09:18.600 get me. I was really excited when I found out 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:19.840 she was gonna be a Libra. I was like, we're 0:09:19.880 --> 0:09:22.120 on the cusp of virgo libra. Either or I would 0:09:22.120 --> 0:09:24.199 not mind. But I was like, if she's a Libra, 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:27.160 she's like Matt super chill. I don't know. Two areas 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:29.800 in the house could be really crazy. What's an aries, 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:32.880 what's the what's what's the I mean people say we're 0:09:32.880 --> 0:09:37.840 a little hardheaded, um, a little stubborn. Um are you 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:41.160 super independent? Yeah? I am, But I'm also like being 0:09:41.200 --> 0:09:43.600 with a Libra, like you need an area's in your life. 0:09:43.800 --> 0:09:45.960 You need me to like kind of you know, set 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:49.760 the tone a little bit. Sure. So um, so, like 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:53.520 how did you decide to share the process of being 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:56.600 pregnant YouTube, like how did you do it? You know, 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:58.680 we kind of thought about it and at the beginning 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:00.640 we were like, Okay, I want to feel this process 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:02.920 just because like it's gonna be shot professionally, and like 0:10:02.960 --> 0:10:04.760 that would be funny to look back and for her 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:07.320 to look back. And there wasn't really anything I was 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:09.960 too scared to show because I still at the end 0:10:09.960 --> 0:10:12.319 of the day would have some control, right, But even then, 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:14.600 I mean in the editing room, we left everything in there. 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:16.880 So I wanted people to kind of see this whole 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:19.680 journey because you know, maybe one person out there could 0:10:19.679 --> 0:10:21.960 relate to some sort of thing or find something funny 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:25.720 or whatever. Um. So that's why we decided to do 0:10:25.760 --> 0:10:28.920 the show. But when it came time to thinking if 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:30.719 we were going to put Alice's face out there or 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:32.960 what we're we going to do at the end of 0:10:32.960 --> 0:10:37.080 the day, I just had to think. Unfortunately, if you 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:39.520 were to google anybody's kid, even if you don't, you 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:42.000 can sometimes see it. Of course, for me, I was 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:44.360 just like I don't ever want somebody to fight or 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:47.200 like really trying a creepy way to get a photo 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:50.280 like let me be in control of everything first, so 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:52.000 that I put it out and people know when you 0:10:52.080 --> 0:10:54.520 see it. Now, how much I'll put her out, I 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:56.360 don't know. I'm kind of just going with the flow 0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:59.280 with this entire thing. So for right now, I mean, 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:01.079 is she going to look the same way right now? 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:03.800 Listen later? No, And I don't know when she's a 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:06.040 little bit older, am I going to continue to post her? 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:09.320 Maybe I won't. For right now, I'm like I am. 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:10.960 It feels good to you until it does to me, 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:23.000 until until it doesn't. Thank you, we were talking about 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:27.000 before we started again recording. Sorry guys, and now, um, 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:29.480 there's been nothing thus far knock on Wood that has 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:33.319 really sent you spiraling, which I also think it's very 0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:36.840 inspiring for our listens to hear, because look, Katie's crib 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:38.720 is a safe space and a lot of moms come 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:41.120 on and are having a rough time, and like, this 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:44.199 is very inspiring for us all to hear that you 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:46.080 you're just rocking and moment well, And let me also 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:49.040 preface that with I have help first and formant, you 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:51.440 know what I mean, Like I had somebody help us 0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:53.200 with nights for the first month, so that we were 0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:55.480 able to sleep, and I had that feel weird to 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:59.440 you at all and loved it at the same time 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:01.920 because I was still watching the monitors and I love 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:04.839 everybody that took care of her. But it was really difficult. 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:07.200 So that was hard. There were definitely a few nights 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:08.960 there where I'm just like, oh my gosh, I just 0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:10.320 go in and get her, like I should be doing this. 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:12.440 I should be doing this. Um And I'm not saying 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:15.400 like it's been sweet, it's but this is kind of no. 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:17.280 But there hasn't been any sort of like you didn't 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:20.800 struggle with postpartum depression. No, I struggled with pre So 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:23.680 that was something that was difficult, and I actually thought 0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:25.480 I was going to have a hard time with post 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:27.360 just because I don't know, I had an inkling. But 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:30.160 with her and because of the help that we were 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:33.120 really are really fortunate to have, it's made it a 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:36.400 lot easier. So, I mean that is like you said, 0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:38.200 it's right now, she's going to get into tea lenge, 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:39.600 She's gonna get in a lot of other things. We 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:42.680 haven't slept trained or let Yeah, there's all these things. 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:45.480 We're really intuitively parenting is what I like to call it. 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:47.200 And I don't know if I'm doing it right or wrong. 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:49.880 That goes to your chill nature, like you're just like 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:52.360 day by day as things come your way and how 0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:53.760 things come in and out of your life. Tell me 0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:56.840 about so pre depression, like you had a big bout 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:58.959 of it before she was here. Before she was here, 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:02.839 when I was probably like war four months, three or 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:05.360 four or five months, those were like the worst times. 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:07.920 And I was almost just like, oh my gosh, like 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:11.800 I'm now going to be a mom, and now being 0:13:11.840 --> 0:13:13.920 a mom, of course, I'm like this is amazing. I 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:16.679 feel like a superwoman. But before I was, I was 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:19.480 scared because I'm like, you can't go back, Like now 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:24.280 you're okay, so I'm not like like cute, single, available girl, 0:13:24.360 --> 0:13:27.280 like I'll have a kid, Like it was really hard 0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:29.360 for me to get that. And and then I was 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:32.000 just like and then this commitment, you know with Matt, 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:34.679 like we're all like there's no disappearing here, like now 0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:36.920 we're doing this, We're in it, oh my gosh. And 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:38.800 there was just a lot of that and a lot 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:40.640 of like, is it's going to change my lifestyles, It's 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:43.000 going to change how people look at me, Like am 0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:46.160 I still cool? Like truly, all these thoughts went ran 0:13:46.240 --> 0:13:48.080 through my mind. And then in addition to that, I 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:50.520 wasn't telling anybody at that point. I didn't want to 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:54.000 tell anybody. I felt super lone that was on the road, 0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:56.480 and there was a lot of jealousy because I was like, 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:59.240 you're continuing to live your life just like you had 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:02.080 prior to the this, and I'm now like, I can't drink, 0:14:02.080 --> 0:14:04.199 I can't do this, I can't do that, Like this 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:07.720 is really confining and I don't like being confined. How 0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:09.920 do you feel? Now? Do you feel? I feel great? 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:13.719 And to be honest with you, I have tried not 0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:16.080 to really miss a b Like I continue to live 0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:19.080 my life and she is the most amazing thing that's 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:22.080 ever happened to it. But I am still myself. I 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:26.200 just now added another role, you know, into my repertoire, 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:28.960 Like now I'm like also a mom, like add to 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:31.600 the multi hyphen it And that's how I look at it. 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:34.080 And I want her to see that I have continued 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:36.280 to be myself because I would not want her to 0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:38.040 do the same thing when she you know, if she 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:41.360 does go through this process herself. But um, I don't 0:14:41.360 --> 0:14:43.080 know that's what my mom is still to me. My 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:46.000 mom had my brother and I and then went to work, 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:47.760 and I just saw her hustle and then come back 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.040 and still be like the best mom ever. And she 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:52.480 made it look so effortless. And that's what I'm like, WHOA, 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:55.120 It definitely is an effortless but like she made it 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:57.600 look like that. I'm that's what I'm aspiring to. How's 0:14:57.640 --> 0:15:00.840 your work life balance? So your mom worked and that 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:02.840 she went back to work. I had a big effect 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:05.160 on you because you were like, Wow, it's possible. So 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:06.960 my mom was a stay at home mom, which was 0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:10.080 like who when I had? I went back to work 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:12.240 when Alby was eight weeks old, But it was such 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:15.280 I called my mom and I was like, and I 0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:17.320 think my mom did a really great job raising my 0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:20.200 brother and myself. And I was like, I feel like 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:23.200 a failure already. I feel like I should have I 0:15:23.240 --> 0:15:25.200 feel like I can't believe I'm making this choice, but 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:26.960 I'm I'm going to raise my son with a bunch 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:28.680 of other people, Like it's not going to be me 0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:31.680 by myself at all. Also, the two weeks my nanny 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:33.760 was sick and I was by myself with him. It 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:36.240 was like I was terrible at it and I didn't 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:39.800 like it or myself. Um that's not to say someone 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:41.720 I have, Oh my god, I have a very good 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:43.520 friend who was a hot shot, like top of the 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:47.560 game lawyer. She had her daughter completely done, quit her job, 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:50.680 wanted to be home. It's her how that that's what 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:55.200 felt right and good to her. Um, so your mom 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:57.480 worked and you were like, that's going to be my 0:15:57.520 --> 0:16:01.160 story and how I was very much prior to having Alice. 0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:02.920 I was like, I'm not taking time off. I'm getting 0:16:03.000 --> 0:16:05.280 right back into it. Like this isn't going to change that. 0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:10.520 We all say that, right exactly. That is a bullshit statement, absolutely, 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:13.040 and it was because, you know, after having her, I 0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:14.920 was like, all right, and I'm gonna slow things down. 0:16:15.000 --> 0:16:16.880 Like I hardly took a lot of photos. I wish 0:16:16.920 --> 0:16:19.280 I took more, but I was so present and so 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:21.080 in the moment with her for that first little bit 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:24.320 that it was amazing, you know, And um, did you 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:28.560 have a maternity leave. I'm not shooting a show right now, 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:30.720 so I'm kind of like it's whenever I decide, you know, 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:32.560 I'm like picking up my phone and I'll text a bit, 0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:35.320 but it's I didn't really I didn't take an official leave. No, 0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:37.920 like people still had access to me. Sure, I just 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:40.200 got back to them when I was ready. Great, So 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:43.800 it was nice. Yeah, great. Um, tell me about your 0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:47.520 birth story. I remember listening to you or when I 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:49.320 was pregnant. I was like, oh my god, I think 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:51.080 I was out of my mind when I recorded that. 0:16:51.120 --> 0:16:53.040 I feel like I need to well know, I know it, 0:16:53.280 --> 0:16:56.640 I love it, but I need to like because your 0:16:56.680 --> 0:16:59.360 birth story, this is odd. I think it changes. I 0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:02.280 think your memory of it changes. Well, obviously you're changes 0:17:02.320 --> 0:17:05.359 because people have more than exactly, so like your memory 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:09.760 of it definitely changes. What is your story at the moment, 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:12.480 Today's story at the moment. From what I can remember, 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:16.080 it was like hours or something. It was you were induced. 0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:17.920 I was induced. My water broke. I got out of 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:20.120 the shower, and I was like, oh, crazy, like this 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:21.960 is what it feels like. It's kind of nice, Like 0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:23.879 I don't know. I was like chilling at home for 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:26.800 the first three hours, and then I always knew I 0:17:26.840 --> 0:17:29.320 was going to go to the hospital. I myself feel 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:32.480 comfortable in a hospital more so than I would at home. Um, 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:34.840 so you know. I called my doctor and I was like, hey, 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:36.399 can you meet me here. He was like, oh, you 0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:38.080 could probably labor more at home. I'm like, no, I 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:40.560 feel more comfortable at the hospital. So I felt there 0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:43.600 very similar. Yeah, like very I was like getting me 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:48.479 in the hands of professional exactly and the same. So 0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:50.679 I went over there and then you know, obviously like 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:52.800 not a lot was happening. So then they were like, okay, 0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:54.359 we're gonna give you potosa and I'm like, oh, I 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:57.880 remember this from all the stories that I've heard potos 0:17:57.920 --> 0:18:01.000 and equals epidural. I'm like, I'm trying too, but if 0:18:01.000 --> 0:18:02.919 it does, then cool. I had no birth plan. It 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:06.399 was really just like again, go with the front. It 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:08.040 was go with the flow because I mean, you can't 0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:09.960 play it for this ship. I'm sorry, but like you 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:12.640 have a long list. It is so inspiring. Like I'm 0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:15.800 just like, whoa, I need a dose on the regular. 0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:18.760 So I went in they gave me pots in and 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:22.120 then I was like, oh, these are getting real. And 0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:24.080 at that point I wanted to murder Matt when he 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:26.280 was sleeping because I was on the ball, like crying 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:29.119 like this is crazy, and I like almost was just 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:30.960 trying to prove to my dula in a way which 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:32.679 she didn't even care. But I was like, no, I 0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:34.960 could do this for you, like if it was if 0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:37.960 she wasn't in the very similar my dula. When I 0:18:37.960 --> 0:18:39.880 called for the epidural, I looked at her and I said, 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:42.160 I feel like you're disappointed to say and she said 0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:44.200 I am not. But I was putting that on her. 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:47.280 She was they really couldn't care. It wasn't that, you know, 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:50.160 And I'm like, I'm sorry. She's like stop. I'm like, okay, 0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:52.800 you're good, and I'm gonna do it. Um. Anyway, so 0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:54.879 then I got the epidurl and I was like, why 0:18:55.400 --> 0:18:58.560 didn't I do this before? Like next time? Personally, I'm 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:02.320 walking in, give me the epidore watch a Netflix like 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:04.760 that's what I'm doing. Um. But then there was a 0:19:04.800 --> 0:19:06.840 weird part with that too, because my legs were so 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:09.080 numb and Matt kept doing this thing. He'd come over, 0:19:09.320 --> 0:19:11.320 lift my legs up and then drop them and be like, whoa, 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:15.160 you really can't feel them. I was like, bro, like 0:19:15.280 --> 0:19:17.840 I can't stop doing that because I'm gonna have bruises 0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:20.880