1 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:07,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff Mom Never Told You from how Stuff 2 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:14,360 Speaker 1: Works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm 3 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: Kristen and I'm Caroline, and happy upcoming Mother's Day to 4 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 1: all of our mother's listening and to my mother even 5 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: though she's not listening yet. Same here. Um. I was 6 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: so surprised that even though Stuff Mom Never Told You 7 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 1: has been in existence in podcast land since two thousand nine. Wow, 8 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:43,279 Speaker 1: we've never done an episode on Mother's Day? Crazy, I know. So, 9 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: no time like the present, right, because Mother's Day is 10 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: right around the corner. And let's start with just a 11 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,560 Speaker 1: snapshot of mother's day to day and then talk about 12 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 1: where Mother's Day came from, because it's fabulous. It's yeah, 13 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:02,920 Speaker 1: really interesting origins and a really grumpy originator. Yes, So, 14 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,679 Speaker 1: just to give you an idea of how big Mother's 15 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:09,119 Speaker 1: Day is today. In two thousand eleven, in the United 16 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 1: States alone, spending was expected to reach sixteen point three 17 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: billion dollars, with the average adults spending more than a 18 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 1: hundred and forty dollars on gifts, according to the National 19 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:24,240 Speaker 1: Retail Federation, which one forty dollars on gifts makes me 20 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 1: feel like a very cheap daughter. Yeah, I I go 21 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 1: big on her birthday and Christmas. Mother's Day is more like, 22 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 1: let's just get together. Yeah, more the more the quality 23 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 1: time kind of gift. Yeah. And two thirds of Americans 24 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: will celebrate Mother's Day with flowers, and more than thirty 25 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: percent will celebrate with jewelry. And I'm like, who are 26 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,479 Speaker 1: these people who can afford to five jewelry? Maybe it's 27 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,160 Speaker 1: like crafty jewelry that they get it a local shop, 28 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 1: like macaroni noodle bracelets. Right, as a twenty nine year old, 29 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 1: I'm sure I could do that for my mother and 30 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 1: she'd appreciate it. It is also, in addition to being 31 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: very popular for Flora's, it is the year's most popular 32 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: holiday for dining out. Because that's the whole thing about 33 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:07,200 Speaker 1: Mother's Day. Don't let mom cook right, someone else cook 34 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 1: right one day off, lady. It won't be dad. Nope, 35 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:12,920 Speaker 1: it's going to be somebody at a restaurant. Because about 36 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,919 Speaker 1: seventy five million US adults were expected to dine out 37 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 1: in according to the National Restaurant Association. And what else 38 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 1: do we do her mom on Mother's Day? We give 39 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 1: her a card because you know, we want to let 40 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 1: someone else express some kind sentiment. It's the number three 41 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 1: holiday for card exchange, behind Christmas and Valentine's Day, according 42 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 1: to a Hallmark. And just to give you a hint 43 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:42,679 Speaker 1: at how grumpy the Mother's Day founder was about all 44 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 1: of this stuff that we do for Mother's Day these days, 45 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: she once said, a printed card means nothing except that 46 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 1: you are too lazy to write to the woman who 47 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 1: has done more for you than anyone in the world. 48 00:02:56,040 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 1: And a Jarvist, founder of Mother's Day, thankes. I mean, 49 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,359 Speaker 1: I guess I could break out the crayons and make 50 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:07,600 Speaker 1: my own with construction paper, yeah, and stickers. Sally would 51 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,920 Speaker 1: be super excited if I did that. She she kept 52 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 1: my baby teeth, so she'd probably keep a construction paper card. 53 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: You could work the baby into the card, or tape 54 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 1: them on or some kind of yes. Now, the US 55 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:25,679 Speaker 1: is not the only country, of course, to celebrate Mother's Day. 56 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:29,519 Speaker 1: Different countries around the world have their own forms of 57 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:33,799 Speaker 1: Mother's Day celebrations. Yeah. On the Arab calendar, Mother's Day 58 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,720 Speaker 1: falls on March one, to loosely come inside with the 59 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 1: start of spring. And in Panama it's on December eight, 60 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: when the Catholic Church honors the Virgin Mary August twelve 61 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: in Thailand is the birthday of Queen Syricit regarded as 62 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 1: the Mother of all ties, and that is when they 63 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 1: celebrate Mother's Day as well. Yeah, and there are a 64 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: number of countries that deem International Women's Day as their 65 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 1: default Mother's Day and do all sorts of nice things 66 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 1: for mother's and women alike. Now, for our British listeners, though, 67 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 1: Mothering Sunday is when it all goes down. This is 68 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: a centuries old celebration on the fourth Sunday of Lent, 69 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 1: and it began as a spring Sunday designated for people 70 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: to visit their area's main cathedral or mother church, which 71 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: led to family reunions, which led to the British version 72 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 1: of Mother's Day. In this Christian tradition was revived by 73 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:33,360 Speaker 1: Constance Smith, who was inspired by Anna Jarvis, who started 74 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 1: Mother's Day in the United States. And one of the 75 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:40,919 Speaker 1: traditions um associated with Mothering Sunday slash Mother's Day and 76 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: Britain is giving a simnal cake to your mom. And 77 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:50,040 Speaker 1: Simnal cakes look delicious. They're a light fruit cake with 78 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:59,039 Speaker 1: marzipan layer. Oh no, I think Marzapan is like it's 79 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: got to be the worst thing in the universe. I'm sorry, 80 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But my mother, you know, I've said, 81 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 1: she flies to Germany and she'll bring me marzipan candy 82 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,600 Speaker 1: from Germany, and it's like the most disappointing thing because 83 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 1: it's like, oh chocolate. Yeah, you bit into it, You're like, 84 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,200 Speaker 1: oh god, it tastes like furniture polish. I've never had 85 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 1: marcy pan. A lot of people like it. I my 86 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:20,720 Speaker 1: palate cannot handle the marzipan. Perhaps I should not make 87 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,919 Speaker 1: my siminal cake from my mother. I don't want to 88 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:28,040 Speaker 1: stop you. I'm just saying, maybe taste at first. All right, Well, 89 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 1: I have a feeling we're gonna get a lot of listener. 90 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:34,839 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. No, it's okay to eat your own marzipan 91 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 1: or not. But let's get back to the United States 92 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,200 Speaker 1: and to the origin of Mother's Day, which you can 93 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: also call a tale. Up to Anna's I coined that 94 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,440 Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna write a book about it. Um 95 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:52,839 Speaker 1: In eighteen sixty eight, Anna Jarvis the Elder organized a 96 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: Mother's Friendship Day in Grafton, West Virginia to reunite family 97 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 1: separated during the Civil War. It was not intended as 98 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: a celebration of your mother, but as a vehicle for 99 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 1: organized social and political action by all mothers. So it 100 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,160 Speaker 1: wasn't so much like let's sit down and eat brunch 101 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,360 Speaker 1: and talk about how awesome you are for raising me, 102 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 1: but it was like, you know, let's get together and 103 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 1: build our community. Jarvis and other women organized picnics and 104 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,359 Speaker 1: other events to go along with Mother's Friendship Day as 105 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,599 Speaker 1: pacifist events to unite former foes. And on top of this, 106 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: Anna Jarvis the Elder, who was a pacifist obviously and 107 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:34,360 Speaker 1: an activist, also organized Mother's Work Days to improve sanitation 108 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:38,480 Speaker 1: and prevent deaths from disease bearing insects and seepage of 109 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: polluted water. And her early Mother's Day work clubs also 110 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,159 Speaker 1: tended to wounded soldiers of both sides during the Civil War, 111 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:51,600 Speaker 1: and Mother's Day connections with war is going to come 112 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:56,599 Speaker 1: up yet again. And another notable woman who helped kick 113 00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 1: off this Mother's Day movement was Julia war How, whose 114 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: name might ring a bell because she wrote Battle Him 115 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:07,840 Speaker 1: of the Republic, And in eighteen seventy two, that Boston poet, 116 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 1: pacifist and suffragist established a day for mothers and peace 117 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:15,200 Speaker 1: not long after the Franco Prussian War. So from the 118 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 1: very beginning Mother's Day before it really crystallized when Anna 119 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: Jarvis the younger started it, it was really rooted in 120 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 1: peace efforts. Yeah. In eighteen seventy, Julia Ward Howe wrote 121 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: the Mother's Day proclamation. Shall I read a little bit 122 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 1: of it? We women of one country will be too 123 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 1: tender to those of another country to allow our sons 124 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 1: to be trained to injure theirs from the bosom of 125 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: a devastated earth. A voice goes up with our own. 126 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 1: It says, disarm, disarm. So good dramatic reading, thank you, 127 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:55,480 Speaker 1: uh so, yeah, very pacifist ruth. And when Anna Jarvis 128 00:07:55,520 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: the elder dies, Anna Junior picks up the tour and 129 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 1: she decides that her mother obviously was quite a lady 130 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:10,280 Speaker 1: and deserved some honor. Right. Anna Junior persuaded churches in 131 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 1: Grafton and Philadelphia to dedicate their services to mothers on 132 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 1: the second Sunday in May of nineteen o eight. And 133 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 1: she had really decided back a year before that a 134 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:24,480 Speaker 1: special day was needed to honor mother's sacrifices. Um. It 135 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 1: was quickly adopted people, people got behind it relatively quickly 136 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 1: for a new holiday, and in nineteen fourteen President Woodrow 137 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:36,880 Speaker 1: Wilson recognized Mother's Day. In the first decades of the holiday, 138 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,640 Speaker 1: it was celebrated by a church service, and during a 139 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: church service, you'd wear carnations read from a mother who's 140 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,200 Speaker 1: alive or white for one who has passed. They would 141 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: even hand out awards for the oldest or newest mothers 142 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,880 Speaker 1: and for the mother of the most children. But Jarvis 143 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 1: really wanted it to be something personal where you celebrate 144 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: your mother, which is why Mother's Day is mother apostropheus, 145 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:07,640 Speaker 1: not Mother's Apostrophe. Yeah. She clearly thought her mother was 146 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 1: wrong on that count. Let's not celebrate all. Let's just 147 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 1: celebrate ours, celebrate yours. Yeah, she you know, just something, 148 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 1: just a quiet day with your mom. And the reason 149 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 1: why it's in May, it's because she originally wanted it 150 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:25,640 Speaker 1: to happen on her mom's birthday, I believe, But they 151 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: couldn't get together a special church service soon enough, so 152 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:32,439 Speaker 1: they had to push it, and Father's Day lagged way 153 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 1: behind behind um. It was not officially recognized f Y 154 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: I until nineteen seventy two, when all Richard Nixon signed 155 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: it into law. People weren't pushing that quite as hard 156 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,959 Speaker 1: as Mother's Day, but so, you know, we mentioned that it. 157 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,439 Speaker 1: It gained a lot of traction early on and and 158 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:55,560 Speaker 1: really picked up speed. But the evolution of Mother's Day 159 00:09:55,640 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 1: did not make Anna happy. She was horrified the rapid 160 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:04,440 Speaker 1: commercialization of the holiday and spent years writing letters to 161 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: the President about how Mother's Day retailer should be stopped. Yeah. 162 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 1: One of the reasons why Mother's Day quickly became so 163 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:15,440 Speaker 1: popular was because retailers were like, whoa, we just got 164 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: a new holiday that people are going to need to 165 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 1: buy a lot of things for. And Jarvis had none 166 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 1: of that. In for instance, she crashed a confectioner's convention 167 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,439 Speaker 1: in Philadelphia, right, And two years later she crashed a 168 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: crushed the convention of the American War Mothers who used 169 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 1: Mother's Day to fundraise, and was arrested for disturbing the peace. Oh, 170 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:43,440 Speaker 1: just disturbing the peace, pacifist woman, Oh dear um. And 171 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 1: in nine four she succeeded in keeping the Post Office 172 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,720 Speaker 1: from using Mother's Day on a three cent stamp in 173 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,880 Speaker 1: honor of the painting whistlers. Mother. I mean, Jarvis really 174 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 1: did not want Mother's Day going so big. Yeah, And 175 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: in ninety four she went so far as to distribute 176 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: thousands of celluloid flower buttons to churches and schools, asking 177 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 1: that they'd be sold or given away in the hope 178 00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 1: that it would decrease the Mother's Day demand for fresh 179 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:14,320 Speaker 1: cut flowers and reduce the floral industries profits. She was like, 180 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: you know, you were going to stay home, You're gonna 181 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 1: go to church, You're gonna gonna wear your car. Nation 182 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,719 Speaker 1: are gonna sit around the table, and you're gonna tell 183 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,080 Speaker 1: your mother how much you love her. And by God, 184 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,480 Speaker 1: if you buy her anything, I will bring the wrath 185 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,440 Speaker 1: of Anna Jarvis down on you if that card is 186 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:33,720 Speaker 1: not homemade, my goodness. But the thing is, it's interesting 187 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:39,360 Speaker 1: that it spun out of control in a way so quickly. 188 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 1: Why why did it catch on? Because you know, it's 189 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,040 Speaker 1: just it's a holiday. I mean, it took until nineteen 190 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,720 Speaker 1: seventy two for Father's Day to be officially recognized, but 191 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:53,440 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, from nineteen o seven to you know, 192 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 1: a decade later, people are going wild about it. Well, 193 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,199 Speaker 1: you know, we live in a big world, Christen. It 194 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:04,079 Speaker 1: can be scary sometimes and when changes happen, people tend 195 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 1: to hold on to old things from the past that 196 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 1: make them feel comfortable, like their moms, right, literally, like 197 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: their moms. Not that moms are old things. Yes, we 198 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:22,079 Speaker 1: don't mean to make anybody upset, but during this changing world, 199 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 1: Mother's Day appeal to profoundly conservative values around women's roles 200 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,320 Speaker 1: in the family at a time when they're being challenged 201 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:35,239 Speaker 1: by the new woman. This new woman who drank alcohol 202 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: and war makeup. Yeah, I mean that was flying directly 203 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,559 Speaker 1: in the face of Victorian era cult of motherhood that 204 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:47,720 Speaker 1: really built up a woman's entire identity in her role 205 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 1: as a mother. And lee Eric Schmidt, who wrote Consumer 206 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:55,040 Speaker 1: Rights the Buying and Selling of American Holidays, wrote that 207 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 1: in the nineteen tens and twenties and often thereafter, Mother's 208 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 1: Day served as a kind of solace for many American Christians, 209 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:06,199 Speaker 1: Protestants and Catholics alike who feared that that new womanhood 210 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:11,720 Speaker 1: was threatening the very institution of motherhood, domesticity, and the family. 211 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,600 Speaker 1: So basically, this was a way that you know, some 212 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 1: more conservative people saw to bring focus back to this 213 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,160 Speaker 1: role of the woman in the home, taking care of 214 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:27,320 Speaker 1: the kids in her rightful place they would say yeah. 215 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,440 Speaker 1: And at the time, a lot of people were saying, 216 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:32,080 Speaker 1: you know, this was as people were moving to cities, 217 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:36,120 Speaker 1: clustering in in urban locations away from their families. And 218 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:39,080 Speaker 1: at the time, in nineteen fifteen, Susan Tracy Rice in 219 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: her book get Ready for It Mother's Day it's history, origin, celebration, spirit, 220 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,360 Speaker 1: and significance as related in pros and verse, so that 221 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 1: the holiday is needed because of the growing lack of 222 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:55,680 Speaker 1: tender consideration for mothers among worldly minded, busy, grown up children. 223 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,600 Speaker 1: So if that wasn't a guilt trip, I don't know 224 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:02,000 Speaker 1: what was. Well. The ultimate irony with a lot of 225 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 1: this and and how it really gains team is that 226 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:11,080 Speaker 1: even though it roots back to these women and their pacifism, 227 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:15,920 Speaker 1: it's ultimately war propaganda in World War One that helps 228 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:21,400 Speaker 1: launch it into this huge national thing. In World War One, 229 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 1: mothers were organizing for peace and they were not very 230 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 1: interested in helping the war effort. And this is something 231 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:31,880 Speaker 1: historically with women, um, you know, being more active in 232 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 1: peace movements and especially moms who don't want to see 233 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,280 Speaker 1: their children going off to war and possibly being killed. 234 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 1: But the government ended up using propaganda to show that 235 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: real mothers quote unquote knew the true love for their 236 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:48,720 Speaker 1: country and their sons meant sacrificing their children. And in 237 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,440 Speaker 1: nineteen eighteen, General Pershing said he wanted every soldier an 238 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 1: officer to write a letter home on Mother's Day to 239 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 1: quote carry back our courage and our affection onto the 240 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,880 Speaker 1: patriotic women whose love and prayer inspire us and cheer 241 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,800 Speaker 1: us on to victory, which I'm sure Anna Jarvis would have. 242 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 1: I don't even know what she would have. Should have 243 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: burned Pershing's house down or something and sprinkled it with 244 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:18,840 Speaker 1: the celluloid flower button um, highly flammable. Yeah, they melt it, 245 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,880 Speaker 1: would cover it in a weird coating anyway. Yeah, so 246 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 1: Mother's Day, you know, relatively new holiday. Father's Day did 247 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:29,720 Speaker 1: not catch on as quickly. One holiday that people tried 248 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:34,440 Speaker 1: to get instituted that ended up fizzling out was Parents Day, 249 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 1: and it's something that fizzled out and continued to fizzle 250 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 1: out throughout the twentieth century. Yeah, people have tried really 251 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 1: hard to Grandparents Day down our throats. Nope, we are 252 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:47,560 Speaker 1: not having it for whatever reason. In the early nineteen twenties, 253 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 1: it's New York Radio personality. Robert Spiro, who I think 254 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 1: was called Uncle Bob, sponsored the first gathering, but it 255 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 1: ended up fizzling out after ninety nine when he retired 256 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 1: from Oregon. I sing it, and one of the big 257 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 1: reasons why Parents Day never caught on was because it 258 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 1: didn't have much support among retailers, because they're like, hey, listen, 259 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,760 Speaker 1: we got Mother's Day and we're gonna have a Father's Day. 260 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 1: That's two days people have to buy things. If you 261 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:19,080 Speaker 1: cram it in a one day, we lose some profits. 262 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,760 Speaker 1: So they weren't having it, and it just never caught 263 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:27,440 Speaker 1: on enough to become a true social movement. But Anna Jarvis, 264 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:31,480 Speaker 1: oh yes, might have been one of the reasons why 265 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:36,520 Speaker 1: Spiro kicked it off to begin with. Yeah, Spiro's New 266 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 1: York Committee for the Celebration of Mother's Day not Parents Day. 267 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 1: Mother's Day was prevented from sponsoring a Mother's Day parade 268 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: and meeting at the City College of New York. Why 269 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 1: because Anna Jarvis, the younger by then widely recognized as 270 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,920 Speaker 1: the founder of Mother's Day and the president of the 271 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:57,880 Speaker 1: Philadelphia based Mother's Day International Association, put a halt to 272 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 1: his festivity, saying that Spiro had no right to hold 273 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,520 Speaker 1: a parade or even celebrate because it was her holiday. 274 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,639 Speaker 1: Yeah it was, I mean, because she was seriously trying 275 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:11,680 Speaker 1: to keep it from getting any bigger. And so Spirit 276 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: was like, oh, okay, you don't want me to have 277 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,520 Speaker 1: this Mother's Day celebration, I'm gonna make my own holiday 278 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:20,480 Speaker 1: called Parents Day. And he wasn't alone. Um. Henry Woodward 279 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:24,080 Speaker 1: Hulbert had urged a Home Day in nineteen sixteen to 280 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:29,280 Speaker 1: honor the whole family, and then the publisher of Parents Magazine, 281 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:34,040 Speaker 1: George Hecked, pushed for Parents Day as well. Um and 282 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:38,040 Speaker 1: back then, interestingly, for Parents Magazine, the readership was both 283 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:43,960 Speaker 1: men and women. But when in Spiro started to step 284 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:48,080 Speaker 1: down from organizing Parents Day, the Parents Magazine publisher ended 285 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,240 Speaker 1: up citing more with Mother's Day because by that point 286 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:55,520 Speaker 1: the readership was skewing female. Right, So what I really 287 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 1: got to do for circulation? Hecked? So the Parents Day 288 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 1: movement gain moment hi in the nineteen thirties after a 289 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 1: New York State assemblyman introduced a bill to establish the holiday. 290 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,880 Speaker 1: But like we said, it just never gained traction. They 291 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 1: never got more than about twenty thousand people coming to 292 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 1: these big events in New York. And it's interesting to 293 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 1: look at whether it's an attack on mothers because at 294 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 1: different points in history, mothers have been accused of making 295 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:24,000 Speaker 1: sons soft and for smothering their children. And oftentimes, like 296 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:28,120 Speaker 1: around World War One, if soldiers weren't very successful, mothers 297 00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:31,080 Speaker 1: were blamed for, you know, making them too soft as 298 00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:35,360 Speaker 1: they grew up. The Parents Date campaign actually reached its 299 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:39,399 Speaker 1: zenith during the Depression, when women were regularly blamed for 300 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,400 Speaker 1: men's problems. Yeah. A lot of times, the high unemployment 301 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,480 Speaker 1: among the guys was you know, blamed on women for 302 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:49,720 Speaker 1: I guess, costing too much money, having too many children, 303 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 1: all those shoes. Yeah. Um. In a n one, Spiro 304 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:57,080 Speaker 1: announced that the annual celebration of Parents Day would be 305 00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:02,160 Speaker 1: held in Central Park on Mother's Day on Spireau. Yeah, 306 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,119 Speaker 1: he said, it's a reminder that both parents should be 307 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 1: honored and you shouldn't divide love and affection because it 308 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:10,160 Speaker 1: weakens the home. You should honor both parents and even 309 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 1: how to slogan a kiss for mother, a hug for dad. Yeah. 310 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,680 Speaker 1: But even though they had a catchy slogan and indecent 311 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:21,360 Speaker 1: turnouts at Central Park. Um, it just like we said, 312 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,600 Speaker 1: it never really caught on once he stepped down in 313 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 1: nine nine, the entire thing just sort of fizzled out. Notably, 314 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,919 Speaker 1: President Clinton did declare the last Sunday in July two 315 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,440 Speaker 1: be Parents Day, um, and he didn't use any kind 316 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 1: of gendered rhetoric. But again I don't I don't think 317 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: I've heard of anyone who celebrates parents Day. No. And 318 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,399 Speaker 1: then it's it's just interesting to see how something that 319 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:48,480 Speaker 1: seems so innocent, like a holiday where you celebrate your parents, 320 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,479 Speaker 1: can be so political. Because they were with Clinton, who 321 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,000 Speaker 1: didn't use any gender rhetoric, like we said, and you know, 322 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 1: made it a very inclusive holiday that you know, could 323 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,439 Speaker 1: celebrate any number of types of families. And then George W. 324 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,480 Speaker 1: Bush used a Parent's Day declaration to promote quote unquote 325 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,240 Speaker 1: traditional families and all of the political hullabaloo that comes 326 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:10,680 Speaker 1: along with that. So because by traditional you mean heterosexual 327 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,439 Speaker 1: mom plus dead and right, it was definitely used as 328 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 1: a platform of sorts for his views. So I guess 329 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 1: we might as well just stick with Mother's Day and 330 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,480 Speaker 1: Father's Day so that nobody gets angry. Now, I did 331 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:27,160 Speaker 1: like how in the article for Bitch magazine called parent 332 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,639 Speaker 1: trapped by Erica freak Or, she traces the history of 333 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,439 Speaker 1: Mother's Day. She points out that in nineteen sixty, the 334 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:37,679 Speaker 1: Society for the Appreciation and Preservation of Spouses, which that 335 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,720 Speaker 1: sounds like a fun society, called for Mother's Day to 336 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,920 Speaker 1: be moved to February and extended to a whole week. 337 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 1: I'm not sure why they wanted it to be in February. 338 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,320 Speaker 1: I don't know if they were like, let's just coincide 339 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:53,160 Speaker 1: it with Valentine's Day and take a week off when 340 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,639 Speaker 1: it's cold anyway, but yeah, they were like, the husband 341 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,800 Speaker 1: should do all of the chores that the that the 342 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 1: wife normally does during that week. Well, okay, that is 343 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,119 Speaker 1: a great point about the whole thing of you know, 344 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: we celebrate Mother's Day by relinquishing her chore duty in 345 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 1: a lot of ways. And so there was a study 346 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 1: published in Gender Issues in two thousand and eight that 347 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:17,280 Speaker 1: looked at how Mothers Day in Father's Day tend to 348 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:22,920 Speaker 1: reinforce these traditional there's that word again, gender roles. Yeah, 349 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,239 Speaker 1: on Mother's Day, families spent more time celebrating Mothers are 350 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:28,280 Speaker 1: more likely to receive gifts than fathers to you on 351 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,879 Speaker 1: Father's Day, and families are more likely to celebrate and 352 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:36,320 Speaker 1: go out. But why is it more recognized? Perhaps they 353 00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:39,639 Speaker 1: write the greater importance placed on motherhood, or because of 354 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,919 Speaker 1: the centrality of motherhood to women's identity, or maybe the 355 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 1: family perceives that mothers want more attention or are more 356 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,679 Speaker 1: willing to accept and are even more appreciative of that 357 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,480 Speaker 1: attention because they point out like you know, like like 358 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 1: I just said that idea that motherhood is central to 359 00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:58,680 Speaker 1: women's identity, but Father's Day isn't important and didn't catch 360 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,320 Speaker 1: on it's fast because father their hood is not essential 361 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:06,640 Speaker 1: to men's identities, right, And whereas Mother's Day is associated 362 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:09,359 Speaker 1: with giving mom a day off from her chores, Father's 363 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 1: day is more associated with dad getting a day off 364 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,919 Speaker 1: from work so that he can hang out with his kids, right, 365 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 1: or go fishing or whatever whatever it is that men do. 366 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,840 Speaker 1: Who knows, um, But so, like you said, you know, 367 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,160 Speaker 1: mothers are more likely to report they're relieved of chores 368 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,480 Speaker 1: on the holiday, which is a good thing, right right, 369 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,280 Speaker 1: kind of Well, it does highlight the fact that they 370 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:33,680 Speaker 1: are normally the woman's responsibility. And then the whole eating 371 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,399 Speaker 1: out thing you know we mentioned at the top of 372 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,760 Speaker 1: the podcast that everybody goes out to eat on Mother's Day. 373 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,960 Speaker 1: That just emphasized that the fact that cooking is again 374 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 1: part of this gendered identity as a mother. They also 375 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,919 Speaker 1: point out the fact that maybe women aren't doing really 376 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,640 Speaker 1: rewarding work around the home that they're being relieved from, 377 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,919 Speaker 1: so it's They also point out that the routine nature 378 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:59,439 Speaker 1: of women's daily chores might make it easier for someone 379 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,160 Speaker 1: to take them on in her place for a day, like, Okay, well, 380 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:05,679 Speaker 1: women can't take on men's work, but men can sure, 381 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:09,239 Speaker 1: you know, load the dishwasher one night. Kristen wouldn't let him. 382 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:14,760 Speaker 1: Y'all know how I'm particular about my dishwasher being organized. 383 00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:18,800 Speaker 1: It's sadly true. Um. But the sad thing was that 384 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:22,680 Speaker 1: these researchers found was that mothers did not enjoy their 385 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:27,120 Speaker 1: Mom's Say celebrations as much as dads did. And their 386 00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 1: theory was that maybe it's because motherhood is still considered 387 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:35,680 Speaker 1: the woman's primary identity and vocation, and mother's expectations might 388 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,400 Speaker 1: be too high for this one magical day off, whereas, 389 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:43,280 Speaker 1: like you said, the man's identity is not so closely 390 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:47,000 Speaker 1: tied to whether or not he has kids, so he's 391 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 1: less invested in father's say it's like, oh, yeah, okay, 392 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:51,560 Speaker 1: that's cool, And so his expectations might be a little 393 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:55,720 Speaker 1: bit lower for that fishing trip or playing catch, or 394 00:23:56,160 --> 00:24:00,800 Speaker 1: working on the car, mowing the lawn, being sweaty. Hey, 395 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 1: brownie man. Anyway, So looking at chores, though traditional mothers 396 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,960 Speaker 1: quote unquote traditional mothers who weren't relieved of chores on 397 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 1: Mother's Day, we're unhappier than those who were. Okay, makes sense. 398 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:18,320 Speaker 1: But relief from chores did not affect quote unquote modern mothers. 399 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,400 Speaker 1: And they write that it could be that traditional mothers 400 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,679 Speaker 1: have a heavier chore burden to begin with, or the 401 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,840 Speaker 1: chores are becoming less tied to the identities of non 402 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:31,280 Speaker 1: traditional women, so the acknowledgement might be less important. It 403 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:33,240 Speaker 1: might be like, we're all chipping in around the house. 404 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,040 Speaker 1: It doesn't matter so much that you're filling the dishwasher 405 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,520 Speaker 1: for a day. Yeah, And they and they used traditional 406 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:42,840 Speaker 1: versus modern. These researchers did to delineate between women whose 407 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,840 Speaker 1: work was really just central to the home and women 408 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,560 Speaker 1: who worked more outside of the home. And they also 409 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:55,040 Speaker 1: looked at um couples that were more egalitarian to see 410 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,680 Speaker 1: if that had any influence on their the gendered aspects 411 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,360 Speaker 1: of their Mother's versus Father's Day celebrations. And it really 412 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:05,640 Speaker 1: didn't seem to make any difference. So what would Anna 413 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:09,679 Speaker 1: Jarvis think about all this? If you leave the house 414 00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:14,320 Speaker 1: on Mother's Day for anything but church? No good, God 415 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,000 Speaker 1: help you wonder she likes Seminal Cake and Marcy Pan 416 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,520 Speaker 1: Marsy Pan. She probably thinks that Seminal Cake and Marzi 417 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,879 Speaker 1: Pan is too happy, too indulgent. Yeah, it's tied to 418 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:30,199 Speaker 1: too many bakery profits perhaps, um, but okay, so we 419 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:34,159 Speaker 1: there's some people have some trouble with those, uh you know, 420 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,960 Speaker 1: those those generals being just reinforced and reinforced every year 421 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: on Mother's Day and Father's Day. Although I gotta say, 422 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 1: if I had kids, I look forward to Mother's Day. 423 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,840 Speaker 1: I look forward to any day that someone wants to 424 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:50,439 Speaker 1: take me out for food. You know, yeah, I just 425 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:55,719 Speaker 1: look forward to food in general. Speaking of a low expectations, 426 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:57,399 Speaker 1: all you have to do is food in front of 427 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 1: my face, and I'm pretty happy about it. Just bring 428 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 1: me like a stack of sandwiches on crunchy bread. Leave 429 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:08,119 Speaker 1: me alone. So you're you're a little more cut up 430 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,919 Speaker 1: for Father's Day. Yeah, probably sounds like they're working on 431 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,120 Speaker 1: the car. I'm working on the sandwich. But yeah, I'm sure. 432 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 1: And none of this is a call to end Mother's Day. 433 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 1: But it is fascinating to see how the holiday began 434 00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:24,680 Speaker 1: and how it's really saddened. It's founder and a Jarvis. 435 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,080 Speaker 1: She would be horrified at the fact that it is 436 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:31,760 Speaker 1: now a sixteen billion dollar holiday. Oh yeah, and she 437 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,600 Speaker 1: would be so angry with me because I'm going to 438 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,280 Speaker 1: go buy my mothers some flowers. I'm making the macaroni 439 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,160 Speaker 1: pasta bracelet. I don't know what you're talking about, but 440 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:43,639 Speaker 1: what do mothers want? Because the thing is Jarvis might 441 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:47,400 Speaker 1: have been onto something about the whole not spending money 442 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:53,399 Speaker 1: on mom because according to a poll conducted by Mother Company, 443 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 1: Yes that is a business. They found that what women 444 00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:02,000 Speaker 1: want for Mother's Day, it's just well behaved children. Yeah. 445 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,919 Speaker 1: Of the women polled said well behaved kids is what 446 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,359 Speaker 1: they wanted. Only three percent said they wanted to purchased 447 00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:12,000 Speaker 1: gift like roses, chocolate, or brunch. And I'm like, who 448 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,359 Speaker 1: are you people buy me brunch any day of the 449 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:18,880 Speaker 1: week for any meal. Yeah, they wanted the well behaved kids, 450 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,120 Speaker 1: followed by time to themselves, a homemade card or then yeah, 451 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,400 Speaker 1: the stuff that you can spend money on. So maybe 452 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 1: you should pay more attention to old Jarvis. I guess 453 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,119 Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm looking at this. I think this 454 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,800 Speaker 1: applies more to people with young children, because I know 455 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,880 Speaker 1: my mother wants me to move back in with her, 456 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,600 Speaker 1: like that's how much she wants me to be at 457 00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,800 Speaker 1: the house. So I don't think she wants more time 458 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 1: to herself on Mother's Day. Yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true. 459 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,720 Speaker 1: I'm sure. I'm sure the the entire experience of Mother's 460 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,920 Speaker 1: Day is much different when you when you have smaller 461 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,160 Speaker 1: children in the house. Well, so let's hear from listeners 462 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,280 Speaker 1: now about your best Mother's Day or maybe your worst. 463 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 1: What do you really want that you never get? Are you? 464 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:02,160 Speaker 1: Are you in search of time to yourself, some quiet time? 465 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 1: Are you looking for reference alert? Are you looking for 466 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 1: like a Claire Huxtable room to yourself like what her 467 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,119 Speaker 1: husband built her on the Cosby Show? Is that what 468 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,000 Speaker 1: you want in your life? I would just like to 469 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,879 Speaker 1: be friends with Claire Huxtable. Yeah, that would be a 470 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:17,919 Speaker 1: good Mother's Day present. Brunch with Claire Huxtable for a 471 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:20,640 Speaker 1: Mother's Day I'd be pretty cool. Well, right to us, 472 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,920 Speaker 1: mom Stuff at Discovery dot com is where you can 473 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,919 Speaker 1: send your emails. You can always Facebook us or tweet 474 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:31,439 Speaker 1: us at Mom's Stuff podcast. And now back to our letters. 475 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:38,600 Speaker 1: I have one here from Anne about our Administrative Assistants episode. 476 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,920 Speaker 1: She says, Hello, Hello, Anne. I'm a fairly new fan 477 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,600 Speaker 1: of your podcast, and after listening to your show on Secretaries, 478 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,360 Speaker 1: I felt the need to chime in. My very first 479 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:50,880 Speaker 1: grown up job out of college was as an executive 480 00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 1: assistant at a local advertising website. So far, it has 481 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,959 Speaker 1: been my only experience in a secretarial position, and so 482 00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:58,880 Speaker 1: far it has also been the only job where I 483 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 1: saw sexism in action. However, I feel like that particular 484 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,920 Speaker 1: brand of sexism had more to do with the industry 485 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 1: I was working in nightlife advertising than with how I 486 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,880 Speaker 1: was treated as not only the sole employee in a 487 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:14,160 Speaker 1: secretarial position, but also the only female staff member for 488 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,400 Speaker 1: at least half the time I was employed. There. Some 489 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,880 Speaker 1: examples of the sort of sexism I ran into were 490 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,480 Speaker 1: one time when my boss decided the winner of tickets 491 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,320 Speaker 1: to a water park Memorial Day party by looking only 492 00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,920 Speaker 1: the female entrance up on Facebook and picking the one 493 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 1: who looked best in a swimsuit or how Answering the 494 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,880 Speaker 1: office phone became my responsibility because the same boss said 495 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 1: it would be better to have a woman's voice answering 496 00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,600 Speaker 1: the phone. Apparently it was supposed to be more friendly. 497 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,760 Speaker 1: There was also no shortage of clients asking for scantily clad, 498 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,520 Speaker 1: busty ladies to adorn their event poster, many of which 499 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,720 Speaker 1: I had to approve and pick up at the printers. 500 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 1: Though for the record, I never was asked to get 501 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:55,720 Speaker 1: anybody coffee. So thanks for the story. Anne. Well, I've 502 00:29:55,720 --> 00:30:00,080 Speaker 1: got one here from Madison and she is studying in 503 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:05,320 Speaker 1: Morocco right now. She's a gender studies major, and she writes, 504 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:07,160 Speaker 1: I know this is digging way back into the past, 505 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,080 Speaker 1: but I wanted to write you about your cat calling podcast. 506 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,880 Speaker 1: I was really listening to it because I'm in Morocco 507 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: right now and the cat calls are out of control here. 508 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,960 Speaker 1: It's a sign of masculinity to be able to cat 509 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,920 Speaker 1: call in at least three languages, and men seem to 510 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:22,600 Speaker 1: have nothing better to do than make some kind of 511 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 1: comment or just leer at you as you walk by. 512 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,000 Speaker 1: I have been cat called as I walked through the market, 513 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,800 Speaker 1: from bicycles, cars, while walking home, and once from a 514 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:33,360 Speaker 1: dump truck by men of varying ages as in age 515 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 1: eight up to about sixty. Although it's predominantly young men 516 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,520 Speaker 1: that do it, it has nothing to do with being Western. 517 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 1: It happens to Moroccan women as well. It really boils 518 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,640 Speaker 1: down to women being second class citizens here. I've talked 519 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,640 Speaker 1: to Moroccans about it, and if you have acknowledged that 520 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,560 Speaker 1: it's wrong, and certainly none of the women appreciate it. 521 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,200 Speaker 1: One man had the audacity to tell a room full 522 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,560 Speaker 1: of women that he cat calls because women like it. 523 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,120 Speaker 1: He however, did say that if someone cat calls his 524 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:02,120 Speaker 1: sister or girlfriend, he thinks it's wrong. There's an interesting 525 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,360 Speaker 1: disconnect here. We can in no way respond to the 526 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 1: street harassment here. That's just not done, and we are 527 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,680 Speaker 1: more likely to get aggressive responses. This is also not 528 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 1: something that is a matter of public discourse, and it 529 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,760 Speaker 1: has such deep rooted cultural ties that it's hardly thought 530 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 1: of as an issue. So thanks for writing in from 531 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:26,000 Speaker 1: Morocco and um, yeah, I can imagine that that would 532 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:31,040 Speaker 1: get very exhausting getting around there. Um. So thanks to 533 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:34,120 Speaker 1: everyone too who has written into mom Stuff at Discovery 534 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:37,239 Speaker 1: dot com. 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And while you're at it, 543 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,960 Speaker 1: you should check out our podcasting pills Josh and Chuck 544 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,400 Speaker 1: from Stuff You Should Know because they're on YouTube as well. 545 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:12,000 Speaker 1: They're at YouTube dot com slash stuff You Should Know. 546 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:15,320 Speaker 1: So lots to do. Check us all out, and if 547 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,720 Speaker 1: you still have time, head over to our website, it's 548 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:25,000 Speaker 1: how stuff Works dot com for more on this and 549 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,640 Speaker 1: thousands of other topics. Is that how Stuff Works dot 550 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:36,280 Speaker 1: com