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Speaker 1: I don't give an half about your daughter. She's worthless

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Speaker 1: compared to my miracle baby. I want to take out

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Speaker 1: of the wedding.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I didn't understand we had a miracle

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Speaker 2: baby over here, Like.

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Speaker 3: Big deal miracle you boning on a daily basis, and wow,

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Speaker 3: something comes of it?

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Speaker 1: What about? How about think about the children.

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Speaker 3: Get in on the first ry? Wow, you know, I

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Speaker 3: don't care how muchy. It's not a miracle if you

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Speaker 3: did it one hundred times and then it comes. Oh,

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Speaker 3: oh my gosh, my twenty seven female older brother and

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Speaker 3: sister in law, both mid thirties, and just welcome their

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Speaker 3: first child a year and a half ago. After years

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Speaker 3: of trying.

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Speaker 1: Oh, years of lot.

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Speaker 4: Dodging, until this sin on his member is taed from

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Speaker 4: his flesh. Oh sheh, man has been flayed like a

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Speaker 4: fish after trying so long.

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Speaker 1: He has been rubbed raw. He's got no guts left. No,

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Speaker 1: man doesn't need lube, blood doesn't shook God. Big mommy's

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Speaker 1: trying to become a big mommy.

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Speaker 3: That voodoo clam has got her death grip on that thing.

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Speaker 3: Cure clamped down after many failed attempts. Sister law was

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Speaker 3: told that she wouldn't be able to conceive due to

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Speaker 3: a medical condition she has.

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Speaker 1: Then they finally got pregnant, So miracle.

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Speaker 3: Since having my niece, the baby has been the center

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Speaker 3: of attention at every family gathering since she's been born, Birthdays, weddings,

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Speaker 3: family get togethers, you name it, she's the center of it.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. Now, don't get me wrong. L O

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Speaker 1: ve love my niece.

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Speaker 3: But it can be but but it can be a

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Speaker 3: little too much when my sister in law goes on

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Speaker 3: and on how long they tried to conceive, how many

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Speaker 3: positions they tried, good house you her husband thrust it

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Speaker 3: inside of her.

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Speaker 1: I call this one the miracle maker.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, me, it's getting America. All me a

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Speaker 3: cream filled donut, because man, it was like the seamen

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Speaker 3: sea in there.

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Speaker 2: My swimmers were just flocking. Schools of my swimmers were

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Speaker 2: just running through that.

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Speaker 3: Put me over a put me over a glass cup.

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Speaker 3: And you think it was a milkshake. But these milkshakes

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Speaker 3: don't bring the boys to the yard.

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Speaker 1: If you catch.

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Speaker 3: Myrist, they bring the boys to my uterus. Oh yeah, well,

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Speaker 3: I guess the girls because niece and they talk about

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Speaker 3: how long they try to conceive complications, they've had miscarriages,

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Speaker 3: et cetera. Like a little too much info. Many family

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Speaker 3: members have commented on how it's a been excessive, just

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Speaker 3: a little bit, but no one has said anything because

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Speaker 3: they don't want to sound like an entidled asshole. Got anyway,

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Speaker 3: I'm getting married in the spring, and my brother and

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Speaker 3: sister in law approached me last weekend about having my

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Speaker 3: niece be the flower girl. Now. My fiance, thirty five male,

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Speaker 3: has two children, ten male and six female from his

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Speaker 3: previous marriage. His son is one of the grooms men.

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Speaker 3: His daughter had asked to be our flower girl when

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Speaker 3: we told them the news that we were getting married

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Speaker 3: a year ago. Is it's something she's always wanted to

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Speaker 3: do though, of course we said yes, those they're nice people.

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Speaker 3: So I explained this to my sister in a law

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Speaker 3: when she asked me about my niece. She asked if

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Speaker 3: my stepdaughter can just harry my niece with her, And

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Speaker 3: I was just like a little pack.

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Speaker 2: You know, you got your babies and the one and

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Speaker 2: your flowers in the other.

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Speaker 1: You got too, you got you got two hands, you

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Speaker 1: get hold it?

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Speaker 4: Wow?

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Speaker 3: Come on, come on, I said, I don't think she'd

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Speaker 3: be comfortable with that considering she's sex and it's like, like.

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Speaker 1: How the baby carry a baby? Why don't you.

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Speaker 3: She then started going off about how my lack of

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Speaker 3: effort to incorporate my niece.

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Speaker 1: Is disgusted her.

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Speaker 3: And I should honor her in some way since I

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Speaker 3: know how long and hard and steamy and sexy they

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Speaker 3: had tried for my niece. Oh God, now I may

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Speaker 3: sound like an a hole for doing this. I kind

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Speaker 3: of got fed up and snapped and said, corporate my niece.

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Speaker 3: How by the time the wedding comes around, Jill be

85
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Speaker 3: two years old. The entire family already knows your story.

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Speaker 3: And how long and hard and sexy and deep you

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Speaker 3: guys tried for her. What more do you expect me

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Speaker 3: to do to honor her? She started crying and said

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Speaker 3: that clearly I don't love my one and holy niece

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Speaker 3: and I'm letting her down. I said, of course I

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Speaker 3: love my niece. Obviously she's going to be involved in

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Speaker 3: pictures and stuff, and I'm not going to let my

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Speaker 3: step daughter down by giving my niece a roll. She's

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Speaker 3: too young to remember anyway, That two year old a

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Speaker 3: blank slate.

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Speaker 2: You don't know where AI's going and tap into those memories.

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Speaker 3: Y'all remember that little flower girl memory put that out

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Speaker 3: chat GPT when I was two.

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Speaker 2: Also, she's not even the flower girl. She's being held

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Speaker 2: by the flower girl. It's like a useless position.

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Speaker 3: Some position. Yay, I am flower girl. Well, now, sister

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Speaker 3: in law and my brother are pissed off with me

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Speaker 3: for not letting my niece be flower girl and are

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Speaker 3: running around telling the rest of the family I don't

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Speaker 3: love my niece. My mom had been trying to stay neutral,

106
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Speaker 3: but thinks my stepdaughter would understand if I explained to

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Speaker 3: her I need to give that role to my niece.

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Speaker 3: I'm firm in my decision, and my fiance is thankful

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Speaker 3: that I didn't let his daughter down. So am I

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Speaker 3: the a hole for not allowing my niece to be

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Speaker 3: the flower girl? People in the comments, let us know

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Speaker 3: what you think right now. But John, it was your decision,

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Speaker 3: you know. I think I think we got to double

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Speaker 3: down here. I think we need to turn this whole

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Speaker 3: wedding into a party, okay for the miracle babycause screw

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Speaker 3: the The miracle baby is a true miracle, isn't.

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Speaker 1: Oh Pee, let me tell you something.

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Speaker 3: Tell your love is worthless.

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Speaker 2: I don't care who you found and how they make

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Speaker 2: you feel. I care about this miracle baby, and only

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Speaker 2: the miracle. Much more interesting, much more so, much more fascinating. Wow,

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Speaker 2: pounding it for years, pounding for years. I mean that

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Speaker 2: is pretty fascinating. That is that is what positions did

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Speaker 2: you record it? Did you record the moment of reception?

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Speaker 2: You know, conception?

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Speaker 3: So getting my miracle babies? That's right stuff.

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Speaker 2: So but no, I definitely this woman is the ahole,

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Speaker 2: Like I just it's just it just blows my mind

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Speaker 2: how people can think like this.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's insane. It's insane.

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Speaker 3: But hey, this is the people who reddit. This is true.

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Speaker 1: Pople are insane on this this freaking website. But you

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Speaker 1: know what else is insane.

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Speaker 3: I don't think there is another.

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Speaker 1: I think this is the last of the three six.

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Speaker 3: This is six one two, three, yeah, four.

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Speaker 1: We know what's insane. The story's over. Oh so this

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Speaker 1: is okay. Ope.

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Speaker 3: I'm Samuel Donner and I'm Tough Frock and we tell

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Speaker 3: the funniest stories on the Internet. Whenever I see it,

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Speaker 3: like I was just we were just saying, oh yeah.

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Speaker 3: Whenever I think of oh yeah, I always think of,

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Speaker 3: you know, Vector from Despicable Me, the Yeah, the bull cut,

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah. There's this guy on TikTok that his

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Speaker 3: whole have you seen that guy?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 1: His whole thing is like the whole thing is dressing

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Speaker 1: up as as vector. Once you find something that works,

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 3: Well, but it's like it's like I imagine, I imagine

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Speaker 3: he just like one day dressed up as vector and

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Speaker 3: thought it'd be funny for a TikTok Yeah, and then

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Speaker 3: it popped off and he did another one, and then

154
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Speaker 3: it's like, this is my life now I am vector.

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Speaker 1: That is wild, Like you.

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Speaker 3: Just become something that like like you become just like

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Speaker 3: you're like the TikTok audience just forces you to metamorphosize

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Speaker 3: into another being.

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Speaker 2: That's what I love about doing something like this. It's

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Speaker 2: like we still are individual people and we're kind of

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Speaker 2: like in this show. That guy literally has to be

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Speaker 2: vector in all like every like I don't know, public

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Speaker 2: engagement or like anything.

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Speaker 1: He literally has to be vector. Yeah, and there's no choice.

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Speaker 3: Like is that is that it is like a copywriter

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Speaker 3: around that or something like is he allowed to be That's.

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Speaker 1: A good question.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's like satire and he can get like snl

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Speaker 2: like they're able to Oh yeahs.

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Speaker 3: Like like he's like not vector.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Like anyway, I got a story for you now,

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Speaker 1: two story story. Right now, M eating a chip.

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Speaker 3: It tastes good eating a chip in your neighborhood. What

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Speaker 3: am I eating? I'm eating a chip. Yep. Why don't

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Speaker 3: you dip this chip in your lip? Ooh, we're making out.

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Speaker 3: We're eating this chip together. It's like Lady in the Tramp, Oh,

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Speaker 3: but with chips zipped as spaghetti. Hmm. Well why haven't

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Speaker 3: they done like boba drink in a bottle?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Like, like, do I have to get it?

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Speaker 1: That's a great question.

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Speaker 3: I have to get in a store.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I was knocked out and robbed of everything after picking

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Speaker 3: up a hitchhiker. Then I finally find my family and

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Speaker 3: give them the biggest surprise of their lives.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like a terrible road trip to me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, no, dude, don't you don't pick it Like, it's

189
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Speaker 3: not the seventies anymore. Don't pick up hitchhikers.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it could be interesting, but it's just so, it's

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Speaker 2: just it's just danger.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just I think maybe like us, like if

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Speaker 3: you're like, you know, so big strong men, maybe it's fine. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but like I just I also feel bad because, like,

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Speaker 3: you know, you're helping someone out, so it's like, you

196
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Speaker 3: know you want to do that, but uh, literally there

197
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Speaker 3: were whole strings of murders and like in like the

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Speaker 3: seventies and eighties, like right, like the serial killers literally

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Speaker 3: target people who buy hitchhiking.

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Speaker 1: That's their like, that's their things, that's their move their strategy. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Bro, it's like, oh, this thumb fellow wants to go

202
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Speaker 3: pick up a random person. Easy target. True, true, still

203
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Speaker 3: be nice, but seria, killer's out there, they're targeting you.

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Speaker 3: This happened a few years ago when I was living

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Speaker 3: in Zimbabwe at the time. Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe isn't like

206
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Speaker 3: the Zimbabwean dollar worth like nothing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like the classic every time someone says inflation,

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Speaker 2: it's like Zimbo boy, Zimbabwe had barrels of road.

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Speaker 1: Dude.

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Speaker 3: It looks crazy, it looks crazy. Just money is just paper, y'all.

211
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Speaker 3: Never forget bitcoin. This happened a few years ago and

212
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Speaker 3: I was living in Zimbabwe at the time, and I

213
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Speaker 3: was having a pretty bad day. I was going to

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Speaker 3: see my auntie who lived about four hundred kilometers away

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Speaker 3: from me. If you're African, which I am not, so

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Speaker 3: I may not understand, you'll understand that this is no

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Speaker 3: small journey. So I got in my car and set

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Speaker 3: off in About three hours into the journey, came across

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Speaker 3: this dude by the side of the road who was

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Speaker 3: going in the same direction. So, out of the goodness

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Speaker 3: of my heart, good job, op, I said, jump in.

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Speaker 3: We go to talking and he happened to be going

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Speaker 3: to the exact same village as me, and hit knew

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Speaker 3: my auntie.

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Speaker 1: What are the odds?

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Speaker 3: What are the odds?

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Speaker 1: Where are you going?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 1: I'm going there too. Who are you seeing? That's my

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Speaker 1: best friend? Trust establish there we go.

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Speaker 3: Half an hour passes and we're making light chit chat

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Speaker 3: and reminiscing about oh times in Zimbabwe when the dollar

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Speaker 3: was worth a dollar, Remember when we didn't have to

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Speaker 3: lug all this money around, No wheelbarrels needed, no wheelfairs needed.

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Speaker 3: Can to fit that money in the wallet? When all

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Speaker 3: of a sudden he tells me to pull over, so

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Speaker 3: I do. He runs into the car and starts making

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Speaker 3: wretching noises, So I assume he's throwing up. It's dark

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Speaker 3: at this point, so I can't really see much, so

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Speaker 3: I go check on him. First mistake. I get out

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Speaker 3: and go to his side, expecting him to be there,

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Speaker 3: but he's not. Then I hear someone behind me, and

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Speaker 3: before I know it, I'm unconscious. No, oh god. So

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Speaker 3: I wake up a couple hours later. I know this

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Speaker 3: because the sun was coming out at this point without

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Speaker 3: my car, clothes or wallets. No clothes.

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Speaker 1: Oh gosh.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't specify if he had like underword in it.

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Speaker 3: I don't think so, but I assume no clothes. I'm

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Speaker 3: thinking no clothes.

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Speaker 2: That dude, being it's one thing having all your possession

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Speaker 2: is gone.

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Speaker 1: Being naked and stranded. Yeah, bro, that's just like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's just I feel like that's just mean.

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Speaker 2: Literally, you don't need his tidy whities or his like

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Speaker 2: you really need his pants.

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Speaker 3: You really tried to steal this guy's like thirty year

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Speaker 3: old underwear.

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Speaker 2: I imagine this poor guy is running up to people

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Speaker 2: in town like please, I've been robbed, and they're like.

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Speaker 1: Crazy, man, I'm not pitching. I'm not picking up no hitchhiker.

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Speaker 1: Oh my, oh here you go. You're you're you're hitch hiking,

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Speaker 1: but instead of your thumb.

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Speaker 2: Up and just just sticking at the thing up.

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Speaker 1: Baby, I'm ready to be picked up. Guys.

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Speaker 3: Hopefully it's longer than your thumb so to catch just

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Speaker 3: more attention. So I'm thinking, great, I look around and

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Speaker 3: see I'm on some farmland wearing the guys.

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Speaker 2: What.

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Speaker 3: I look around and see him on some farmland wearing

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Speaker 3: the guys.

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Speaker 1: Wearing the robbers clothes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's so he took he took his clothes and

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Speaker 2: he put the robber put his.

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Speaker 1: Clothes on him.

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Speaker 3: Wow. Wait, I look around and see him on farm

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Speaker 3: land wearing the other guy's clothes.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even I was reading that. I'm like, what

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Speaker 1: the heck is happening? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: The robber was like, bro, that shirt is fire. You know,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna I'm gonna cop this bit.

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Speaker 1: Literally, it's like, what do you need my cloth? Like, uh,

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Speaker 1: what are we doing?

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Speaker 3: And like he's really like, let's Robert took his time

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Speaker 3: taking all this ship, oh yeah, and dressing him back. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: You know, I guess at least it was better than leaving.

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Speaker 1: At least at least if he's not nick.

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Speaker 3: So I start walking in no particular direction and eventually

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Speaker 3: come across a settlements. I explained to them my situation

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Speaker 3: and they tell me the nearest main road is at

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Speaker 3: least a good half a day's walk from where I am,

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Speaker 3: and they don't get many cars coming through this park,

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Speaker 3: but they heard one last night which might be our thief.

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Speaker 3: I started walking in the direction they pointed me, and

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Speaker 3: after what felt like forever, I come across a road.

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Speaker 3: So I pitch up and start waiting. Now I know

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Speaker 3: what most of you are thinking, why not call someone? Well,

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Speaker 3: I had no phone with me, and I don't have

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Speaker 3: the best memory, so I didn't know any of the

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Speaker 3: numbers that would come in handy.

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Speaker 1: And also, like, how many numbers do you know?

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Speaker 3: I do know my dad and my mom's number. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I know my dad and my number. I know my

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Speaker 3: dad and my mom's number. I know my ex girlfriend's number, I.

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00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:35,280
Speaker 2: Know my best friend from elementary school's house number.

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Speaker 1: Say it out loud. I literally almost started saying my

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Speaker 1: mom and my dad's number.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah, so yeah, I think like you, like

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Speaker 3: there was a certain point where you just didn't need

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Speaker 3: to remember.

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Speaker 1: I think we're.

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Speaker 2: Truly the last generation because, like I got a cell

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Speaker 2: phone in like middle school. Yeah, now everyone, every kid

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Speaker 2: beyond is going to have cell phones with like contacts exactly.

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Speaker 3: Like the only reason that I memorized my ex girlfriend's

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Speaker 3: number is because I'm like honably cute. If I just

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Speaker 3: never remember my heart not cut, guess what I memorized yourself.

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Speaker 3: After a couple of hours, a car stops and lets

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Speaker 3: me hitch. I let him know the situation, and he says,

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Speaker 3: we're in the I'm just imagining. Like he gets in

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Speaker 3: the car and then they rob him of his It's like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: that philings great my last.

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Speaker 2: No, they literally like take his clothes and knock him out,

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Speaker 2: take his clothes, and they just gave him like a

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Speaker 2: potato sack, like a potato sacking diaper.

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Speaker 3: You know, you know, Dobby like a pillow kid.

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Speaker 1: You gifted Dobby with a sock. MA has gifted Dobby with.

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Speaker 3: The god he is free. I just watched Harry Potter,

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Speaker 3: so I got all the quotes in my head. Nice, okay,

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Speaker 3: wait or uh. After a couple hours, a car stops

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Speaker 3: and let's me hitch. I let him know the situation

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Speaker 3: and he says, we're in the complete opposite direction of

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Speaker 3: my intended destination. But he's willing to drop me close

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Speaker 3: enough to walk the rest of the way to which

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Speaker 3: I thought great. Yeah, yeah. It takes a good two

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Speaker 3: days to get there. And he drops me off and

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00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,520
Speaker 3: I say my goodbyes to my driver. I take down

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Speaker 3: his numbers so I can repay him later on, which

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Speaker 3: is dude, like, op, is so nice.

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Speaker 1: Such a saying due, such a saying.

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Speaker 3: Broke got his clothes, his car's own stolen, and he's

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Speaker 3: still thinking about repaying.

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Speaker 1: This guy, Like, what a legend. Oh wow.

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Speaker 3: At this point, I'm starting to recognize my surroundings. I

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Speaker 3: walk for a few miles, and as I'm getting closer

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Speaker 3: to my aunties, I can hear a lot of singing

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Speaker 3: in what appears to be a large crowd, which I

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Speaker 3: thought was strange. About one hundred feet from my house

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Speaker 3: and I see my son, which again I thought was

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Speaker 3: strange because he was meant to be in school at

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Speaker 3: this time, But instead of running to me and hugging

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Speaker 3: me as he normally does, he runs away, screaming to

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Speaker 3: my complete bewilderments.

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Speaker 1: I get to the gate and all of.

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Speaker 3: A sudden, the large crowd, alerted by my son's screams,

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00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,160
Speaker 3: had stopped singing and has stood silent. My wife appears

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Speaker 3: and starts to run towards me, hugging and kissing me

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Speaker 3: like I've been gone for months. My aunty appears and

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00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:24,680
Speaker 3: immediately faints when she sees me. I still have no

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00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,439
Speaker 3: clue what's going on at this point, and I'm exhausted,

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00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,239
Speaker 3: so we rushed to get my aunty inside, and I

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00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,719
Speaker 3: see my picture on top of a large box that

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00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,320
Speaker 3: resembles a coffin sitting in the living room. So it

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00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,520
Speaker 3: turns out the guy who robbed me and made off

365
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,199
Speaker 3: with my car, my wallet, and all my clothes was

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00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,120
Speaker 3: in a car crash. It was so bad that they

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00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:49,239
Speaker 3: couldn't identify the body, and because the only things they

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00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,200
Speaker 3: could use to identify him was my wallet, and they

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00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,720
Speaker 3: assumed that it was me that had died in the crash.

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00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,520
Speaker 3: Since there was no body assorts, they could arrange the

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00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,720
Speaker 3: funeral pretty quickly. And that is what I stumbled upon.

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Speaker 3: My son still has nightmares to this day, and my

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Speaker 3: wife has told me to never pick up a hitchhiker again.

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Speaker 1: That is a crazy story, bro. My guy pulled up

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Speaker 1: to his own futures.

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Speaker 3: Stee. Wasn't it like some Uh, there's some uh like

377
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,399
Speaker 3: celebrity that wanted to throw his own funeral like before

378
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Speaker 3: he died.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm they probably all do. Honestly, I don't remember taking.

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Speaker 1: Their own death.

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Speaker 3: Wow, freaking crazy, bro, that's insane. Zimbabwe's nuts man, dude. Oh,

382
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Speaker 3: I guess like everywhere you got, you got carjackers, you got.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and Op just kept being a nice guy.

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Speaker 2: He wouldn't stop watch one day in the future, Like

385
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,080
Speaker 2: he's just going to be driving along and be like,

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Speaker 2: you know what, it's been a few years, Like it's

387
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Speaker 2: time this person looks stranded.

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Speaker 3: No, don't do it, don't do it. Please, but your

389
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,440
Speaker 3: family through that again. Yeah, but you know what, you

390
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:02,960
Speaker 3: should always put your family through.

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Speaker 2: Ooh, watching okop and subscribing ooh.

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00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 3: Follow us on Spotify and TikTok, subscribe on YouTube, and

393
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,480
Speaker 3: if you want to be a real one, support us

394
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:12,000
Speaker 3: on Patreon.

395
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:16,720
Speaker 2: That's right, join the family. Jamison, Felicia, Joey, Sandra, Ariel Casey, Esaforius, Divna,

396
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:20,080
Speaker 2: mo Amanda, Will Desire, Keegan and Catholic Quigley ces Oh

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00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,639
Speaker 2: oh yeah,