Speaker 1: The Nicky Gliser Podcast. Nicki Glaser's Nicky. Hello here, I
Speaker 1: am welcome to the show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. I'm
Speaker 1: Nicki Glazer. I am in my apartment in Saint Louis, Missouri.
Speaker 1: Brian is here? What up? Brian? Yo?
Speaker 2: You're right. We're all wearing gray.
Speaker 1: We are all wearing gray. Whoa, it's a great day, y'all.
Speaker 2: It's uh Christmas malaise.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're strong. Ending the Yeah, ending the year is
Speaker 1: strong with a depressive color. Uh. Noah is here?
Speaker 2: What up?
Speaker 1: Nose?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 1: People people sometimes go I remember Andrew being like that
Speaker 1: sounds like you're Jewish, serve some sort. I was like,
Speaker 1: that is not a take it back, take it back?
Speaker 1: Only she can call herself that. No. I, uh, do
Speaker 1: you hate it?
Speaker 2: I like?
Speaker 1: No's no, I like it. Anytime you call me a nickname,
Speaker 1: I like it. Yeah, I do. I love it. Even
Speaker 1: call me the K word and I would like it.
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Remember we had to walk my mom through
Speaker 1: that in a very like we had to literally spell
Speaker 1: it out for her. She's like, I know the word
Speaker 1: I've never heard in which way it was used.
Speaker 2: Us rhymes with bike and she's like kicky, like no.
Speaker 1: No, she's so freaking funny. My mom. We went to
Speaker 1: a party last night. We went to a party at
Speaker 1: Taylor McGraw, who you know from the podcast. We went
Speaker 1: to her house for a Christmas party. It was all
Speaker 1: of her friends. It was so fun. Taylor's house is
Speaker 1: amazing and it reminds you of being in a museum.
Speaker 1: And she has she collects bugs, so there's like pinned
Speaker 1: bugs in these like cases everywhere. And then she's obsessed
Speaker 1: with the JFK assassination and so there's like newspapers from
Speaker 1: the day he was shot. Like she has all these.
Speaker 1: She has like a portrait of Lyndon B. Johnson written
Speaker 1: out from like a typewriter, typed it and then it
Speaker 1: like looks like his face, but it's all just if
Speaker 1: you look closely, it's just words typed. And she has
Speaker 1: tons and tons of books, one of which is Anya's
Speaker 1: dad's book about the JFK assassination and conspiracy that it
Speaker 1: was the CIA who did it and Anya's dad wrote
Speaker 1: a giant book about it. And we were all like
Speaker 1: oh my and my mom's like, oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is Anya's dad's book. Like she couldn't believe it. My
Speaker 1: dad was getting a little jealous. Jealous. Yeah, he was
Speaker 1: kind of like, yeah, one of thirty copies and I
Speaker 1: was like, what they had a really hot that night. No,
Speaker 1: they did it because then we re dropped my mom.
Speaker 1: My mom is a party animal. Okay, my mom on
Speaker 1: a Wednesday night in Saint Louis wanted to go afterwards.
Speaker 1: She's like, We're going to see a led Zeppelin Tripapan.
Speaker 1: I'm going with Elaine, my mom's friend who like parties
Speaker 1: with her. Were Elaine and I are going. Elaine doesn't drink,
Speaker 1: so but she's like it doesn't need a driver, and
Speaker 1: my mom can get schwated and hang out and then
Speaker 1: Elaine can drive her home. Lane just like has fun
Speaker 1: without drinking. Like she's just like, you know, one of
Speaker 1: those people. I cannot relate to my mom's stamina at
Speaker 1: sixty five years old to want to go to a
Speaker 1: Christmas party. Then she has a little she starts in
Speaker 1: vibing a little bit. She's doing a little jazzy kind
Speaker 1: of dance every time she walks in a room. We're going,
Speaker 1: what this is Jerry's book? Oh my god, Taylor, you
Speaker 1: have Anya's dad's book. Look at this house. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: there's silk everywhere. She's bopping and booping and she's making
Speaker 1: us all laugh with all of her enthusiasm.
Speaker 2: And then this is after she drinks a little bit.
Speaker 1: It's a little bit like one or two, one and
Speaker 1: a half, and she is like she's she marches around, yeah,
Speaker 1: the zips and she she just like a little toy soldier.
Speaker 1: She's marching around and like she does a little dance
Speaker 1: in every room and it's everything is this and that,
Speaker 1: and you aren't get out of here with that. That
Speaker 1: is the cutest day I've ever you know, she's just
Speaker 1: and she makes Chris laugh so hard it's almost insulting
Speaker 1: to me because I've never heard him laugh that hard.
Speaker 1: He just like ever, I think she says it's funny
Speaker 1: and so then but then after Taylor's party, she's like,
Speaker 1: I'm having your dad dropped me off at Broadway oyster bar.
Speaker 1: I don't care. I'm going to see this Led Zeppelin
Speaker 1: cover band. I don't give a shit there. And it's
Speaker 1: her her friend's son's band. So he's like forty something,
Speaker 1: so it's not like it's like a young it's they
Speaker 1: he's in this he's like a famous Saint Louis musician.
Speaker 1: He's in all these bands. But they do a great
Speaker 1: Led Zeppelin cover band. Because we dropped her off at
Speaker 1: this bar, we could hear it through the bar. It
Speaker 1: was like kind of an almost an outdoor ish bar,
Speaker 1: even though it's freezing cold. And my mom is just
Speaker 1: was rage and probably till two in the morning, and
Speaker 1: then came back home and just and then I woke
Speaker 1: up to a text from her at like eight thirty
Speaker 1: in the morning, something about like will you send me
Speaker 1: that picture from a thing? Like she's just like she's
Speaker 1: up and she chugged a diet coke. She's ready to go.
Speaker 1: She's back on the back on the I guess she's
Speaker 1: not back on the horse. She fell off the horse
Speaker 1: last night, but she's back. Well, yeah, she's back on
Speaker 1: the horse. She's going to Goodwills today, probably Payton a
Speaker 1: wall up on the ladder. She's just I love. And
Speaker 1: earlier in the day my mom came. I had a
Speaker 1: photo shoot yesterday and I was having an existential crisis
Speaker 1: and I was like crying, and which isn't good for
Speaker 1: your makeup that you just had applied for two and
Speaker 1: a half hours. So it's like I was like not
Speaker 1: having a good times. I just needed somewhere that someone
Speaker 1: there that like loved me to like help me through
Speaker 1: it and to be like, you know, everyone there was
Speaker 1: so nice and so supportive and like so felt bad
Speaker 1: that I was crying, and it's it's awkward when you're
Speaker 1: crying about being ugly because people just did your makeup
Speaker 1: so you you're almost like it seems like they're constant. Yeah,
Speaker 1: which I was like, it's not your fault, it's God's fault.
Speaker 1: It's not what you did, is it. It's just my
Speaker 1: it's I said, yeah, God made you and made you
Speaker 1: think you're good at something that you're not.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: I actually had an amazing makeup stylist, Kara Olsen, and
Speaker 1: then my stylist for clothing, Megan Perry. Shout out to
Speaker 1: both of them, and they were so lovely and so
Speaker 1: supportive and helping me with poses and looking up poses
Speaker 1: and moving chairs and being like you should try this
Speaker 1: like well and above beyond what they were supposed to do,
Speaker 1: and they were so emotionally supportive, and I wrote them
Speaker 1: both being like thank you for like not only your work,
Speaker 1: but like I like start crying at one point. It
Speaker 1: was just like because I just saw things on my face.
Speaker 1: I don't usually like to look at pictures of myself.
Speaker 1: As I'm taking a picture, people know this about me
Speaker 1: because I can't convince myself I've changed. It's an ugly picture.
Speaker 1: In two weeks, I can say, oh, I've my skin
Speaker 1: is lifted since then. Actually I don't say that, but
Speaker 1: it's if it's like a weight thing, or just like
Speaker 1: a you look tired thing, I can think, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: less tired now, or I've lost weight or whatever. My
Speaker 1: body doesn't look that way. It's been time since then.
Speaker 1: But if it's just now, it's like this is all
Speaker 1: I have, And so much work went into This was
Speaker 1: three hours getting ready and with a great stylist, this
Speaker 1: is the good best it can be. And it's just disheartening,
Speaker 1: and so I kind of started tearing up, but I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I was like, you, guys, I have to just go
Speaker 1: figure myself out for a second. And we're pressed for
Speaker 1: you also have a hard time, like especially when they
Speaker 1: do your makeup, if they make you face the miror
Speaker 1: and you have to like stare yourself for two hours. Yes,
Speaker 1: I know that's hard for you too. It is, but
Speaker 1: it's also hard if I don't look at the mirror
Speaker 1: because then at the they get done and I go,
Speaker 1: what did you do? You know, like sometimes I've had
Speaker 1: that happen where I look like I'm RuPaul's drag Race,
Speaker 1: you know, like where I've gone, oh my god, you
Speaker 1: need to take this down. And it's much more harder
Speaker 1: to take off makeup than put it on. So yeah,
Speaker 1: it was just like, oh, and I'm not start up
Speaker 1: my period. It's just like the worst time I should
Speaker 1: look at my calendar when I'm doing a photo shoot
Speaker 1: and make sure it's not happening in the five days
Speaker 1: before my period, because it can. It's just too emotional.
Speaker 1: And so I just I sucked up the tears because
Speaker 1: there was no point. I was like, can I just
Speaker 1: go cry really quick? But then I went to go cry,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I saw the bags welling up
Speaker 1: to produce the tears, and I go, I can't. I
Speaker 1: just sucked it up, and I was like, I went
Speaker 1: back out and I go, I'm just gonna pretend I'm
Speaker 1: someone else. And that's what I did. I turned the
Speaker 1: screen away Taylor Swift. I pretended I was Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: and that I was. Yeah, I just had to pretend
Speaker 1: I was someone else because if I for a second
Speaker 1: was like Nikki, you're badass and you're gonna kill it
Speaker 1: and you just filmed a special and everything's going your way,
Speaker 1: Like I can't convinced myself of that in this state.
Speaker 1: Like just had a hard week. It's not been the
Speaker 1: week that I've wanted to after my special. It's been
Speaker 1: a lot of regret and like why did I do this?
Speaker 1: And why didn't I do that? It like it just
Speaker 1: sucks when you think something it is as if I
Speaker 1: gave birth and my baby is was it was not
Speaker 1: a good berth, right, Like something happened during the labor,
Speaker 1: and I don't get to have the baby that I
Speaker 1: thought I was gonna have. And I'm not saying I
Speaker 1: relate to women who have any complications during that, but
Speaker 1: you know, I think I think even if you have
Speaker 1: a healthy baby, you expect that first week of like,
Speaker 1: oh I'm not pregnant anymore. I think there's you just
Speaker 1: expect it to be like freeing, but instead this has
Speaker 1: been like oh god, if I could have I'm just
Speaker 1: getting jealous of people who are shooting their specials in March,
Speaker 1: Like I saw a girl that's shooting her special in March,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, I wish I had marched to
Speaker 1: fix the things or whatever. It's just I'm having that.
Speaker 1: So it was just a spirally weak and then I
Speaker 1: planned this photo shoot. My mom came by and it
Speaker 1: really changed my mood. She was like, so, oh, oh
Speaker 1: my god, you are just beautiful. I don't even I
Speaker 1: can't even Nikki, what are you doing? This is insane.
Speaker 1: So she was like saying stuff that I was kind
Speaker 1: of rolling my eyes out, but it did make me
Speaker 1: feel better. And then we left there and we went
Speaker 1: to a thrift store because that's my mom's favorite thing,
Speaker 1: and I just she was like, can't believe you're going
Speaker 1: to Saint Vincent de Paul with me. This is crazy,
Speaker 1: And I go, I would go with you to ask
Speaker 1: me to go any day. I like hanging out. I
Speaker 1: have no friends in Saint Louis, and I like hanging
Speaker 1: with you. I think you're funny and cool and we
Speaker 1: really have a good time together. But she was just like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe you're going here. And I got the
Speaker 1: sweater there. It's an old Navy sweater I got for
Speaker 1: eight bucks. It's brand new and it's extra extra arts
Speaker 1: and I love it, and Chris will probably hate it
Speaker 1: because he doesn't like my oversized looks. I can I
Speaker 1: think men don't.
Speaker 2: Like I love oversized looks on women. Yeah, I love oversize. Really,
Speaker 2: I love dressed down. I don't like I like when
Speaker 2: a woman looks like she it just fell through a
Speaker 2: laundry basket and came side.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's real. It's sweet because I don't
Speaker 1: I think when I wear like Jinko, Like right now,
Speaker 1: Jinko type jeans are back in, you know, really baggy
Speaker 1: jeans like widely no, not with a patch, or like
Speaker 1: the chain wallet and the silver chair T shirt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the mass of So strange how it feels
Speaker 2: like nineties fashion is making a comeback.
Speaker 1: Maybe because it's thirty years. Every thirty years, it's cyclical.
Speaker 1: That's why in the nineties sixties was like kind of cool.
Speaker 1: I think, I don't know, or it's like retro. It's
Speaker 1: now retro, so retro equals cool. But yeah, so I
Speaker 1: think Chris is not a fan of the Jinko type
Speaker 1: jeans and any kind of oversized look. But I'm feeling it.
Speaker 1: I like things being big. I'm I realized one of
Speaker 1: my I can relate to people who have autism in
Speaker 1: the sense of sensory things. I have just to have it.
Speaker 1: As a kid, I would freak out with socks being
Speaker 1: too fuzzy. I would be like, get them off, and
Speaker 1: I would cry, and my mom would be like, she's
Speaker 1: insane about socks, Like I just couldn't stand these socks
Speaker 1: I had to wear for these this Catholic school I
Speaker 1: went to, and I remember freaking out and then I
Speaker 1: would bend my sometimes and the fuzz on the knee
Speaker 1: that you could see in the silhouette makes me go like,
Speaker 1: I hate it. I hate it so much. But that
Speaker 1: my biggest pet peeve with clothing is when the sleeves
Speaker 1: are like on our right here on my wrist, like
Speaker 1: right above the that bone, like I need to I
Speaker 1: want to sleeve like down to my where my pinky starts,
Speaker 1: like I want to baggy sleeve that makes me look
Speaker 1: like I'm a I'm cozy blake, lively on a and
Speaker 1: having a cup of cocoa, and the sweater is touching
Speaker 1: the cup of coco like I like to back my long,
Speaker 1: long sleeves. I hate when it's just a little yippy
Speaker 1: skippy is what we called it, because I don't know
Speaker 1: why we just named that. In high school, when the
Speaker 1: pants would ride up too high, we'd be like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's yippy skippy, and then I think pants, yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So it's yippy skippy on the arms too, like if
Speaker 1: it's too short, oh, I want to die. I want
Speaker 1: to die. So so anyway, I got the sweater and
Speaker 1: that's not like that. And then but my mom last
Speaker 1: night was like we were walking in St. Vincent de
Speaker 1: Paul Society thrift shop and she was like, your dad's
Speaker 1: mad at me. I'm going because I want to go.
Speaker 1: He's already mad at me. She called him in between
Speaker 1: the photo shoot and Saint Vincent de Paul. It was
Speaker 1: like three mile drive, and I guess she called him
Speaker 1: in that time because we drove separately. She's like, he's
Speaker 1: mad at me because we're gonna go. I want to
Speaker 1: go to the led Szepplin. My dad doesn't like that
Speaker 1: kind of music. He was like making fun of it.
Speaker 1: I don't I can't do a led Zeppelin song.
Speaker 2: Your own dad doesn't like led Zeppelin.
Speaker 1: He just thinks he's like, some songs are okay, but yeah,
Speaker 1: he's he's like Beatles anything that like made the Beatles go, like,
Speaker 1: we don't really care anymore. My dad was like not
Speaker 1: into it, it's as if. And he's a musician, so
Speaker 1: he's like, you know, I.
Speaker 2: Feel like everybody in his generation loves led Zeppelin.
Speaker 1: Yeah you would think, but my dad was such a
Speaker 1: Beatles head. It's as it's as if, Like it's it's
Speaker 1: like how Swifties feel about well, actually Swifties are supportive
Speaker 1: of all the artists that come in her wake. But
Speaker 1: it's kind of like that, like my dad does. My
Speaker 1: dad and I disagree on so much when it comes
Speaker 1: to Taylor Swift, but he doesn't realize we're very similar
Speaker 1: because of his passion for the Beatles, where he has
Speaker 1: like a million Beatles books. There's Beatles posters all over,
Speaker 1: like you want to go down on the Beatles just
Speaker 1: as much as I want to go down on Taylor,
Speaker 1: and I don't really want to. That's just a metaphor
Speaker 1: for do you like my Beatles? Yeah? I love the Beatles,
Speaker 1: love love love. Like I grew up my dad like
Speaker 1: you know, indoctrinated me.
Speaker 2: That was one of their unreleased hits.
Speaker 1: It probably was love Love Love Wait a favorite, yeah
Speaker 1: in my life, I think is my favorite? What's your favorite?
Speaker 2: Golden Slumbers?
Speaker 1: Wait? How does that start?
Speaker 2: Because I it starts with just a piano, I think,
Speaker 2: and then Golden Slumbers Feel Your Rise?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yes I do know that song.
Speaker 2: But Golden Slumbers most underrated Beatles song. I Will.
Speaker 1: And then what is the chorus? O?
Speaker 2: Sleep pretty dull? Please? Well, then it goes into carry
Speaker 2: that Weight and then it goes into the end.
Speaker 1: That's why I love that song because it's like eight
Speaker 1: different songs in one song. That's why I can't pin
Speaker 1: it down. But yeah, that song is fucking great. My favorite,
Speaker 1: which I posted about on my Instagram story lately. It's
Speaker 1: not that sounds like it's the name of the song,
Speaker 1: but I posted lately about it. I think when I
Speaker 1: was doing press for f Boy in LA. I was
Speaker 1: at the Spotify center doing a podcast and I was
Speaker 1: in a waiting room and they had all the Beatles
Speaker 1: lyrics printed up and I instantly found or not the lyrics,
Speaker 1: but the description of how each song came to be.
Speaker 1: And my favorite is the one about I'm Gonna You'll
Speaker 1: Get you in the No. If I catch you with
Speaker 1: another man, that's the end, little girl. I've talked about
Speaker 1: it a million times on this podcast, but I'm obsessed
Speaker 1: with that, like I'd rather see you dead, a little girl,
Speaker 1: than to be with another man. Your head, a little girl,
Speaker 1: you won't know where I am the fuck he's telling
Speaker 1: her you better watch out. I'm coming. I'm gonna lie yes,
Speaker 1: So run for your life if you can, little girl.
Speaker 1: Hide your head and the sound little girl. If I
Speaker 1: catch you with another man, that's the end, little girl.
Speaker 1: And then it's like boom festive. Yeah, that's like to say.
Speaker 1: And I know I love when musicians make choices like that,
Speaker 1: where you're like, what the fuck is that? I do
Speaker 1: have to say that when people say may like, you
Speaker 1: are looking at may like and out of the woods, Taylor,
Speaker 1: you were looking at may and it's you were looking
Speaker 1: at May instead of me. It's because me sounds very
Speaker 1: bad when you sing it. So, as a person who
Speaker 1: takes singing lessons, I've learned that people will say different
Speaker 1: things in lieu of the actual words. So Ariana Grande
Speaker 1: does it a lot. She just she is very experimental
Speaker 1: with the words she chooses to sing but yeah that
Speaker 1: it's gonna be May. He just leaned into May a
Speaker 1: little bit more than it's gonna be me. No one
Speaker 1: wants to hear me. It doesn't sound it's like a
Speaker 1: warm up. Please, it isn't it dory me doray me? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess it is, but me sounds bad like. There's
Speaker 1: this Taylor Swift song, the August Song, back when we
Speaker 1: were still changing for the better, hold on wanting was
Speaker 1: enough for me. It wasn't enough for May. It wasn't enough.
Speaker 1: So for the hope of it all, cancel plans just
Speaker 1: in case you call to meet me beehind the mall
Speaker 1: so much for some of love and saying us because
Speaker 1: you weren't okay, because you weren't mine instead of mine,
Speaker 1: because you weren't mone to lose, so you say.
Speaker 2: Mon, yeah, mon.
Speaker 1: So every time I sing that song, I have to
Speaker 1: remember to say because you weren't mone to lose, because
Speaker 1: if I said because you weren't mine to lose, it
Speaker 1: goes like yie, and then it makes your like and
Speaker 1: it's not as pleasantly.
Speaker 2: Sounded like a season.
Speaker 1: Sorry if you do that, because you learn.
Speaker 2: The Beatles have a song called Maggie May and they
Speaker 2: sing it, oh dirty Maggie me because they don't want
Speaker 2: it to sound oh right.
Speaker 1: You got to do it the other ways like that.
Speaker 2: That's what I was complying with that.
Speaker 1: I like it. I liked it first. I was I
Speaker 1: don't know that Maggie May song, I dirty Maggie May.
Speaker 1: I think that I don't like that song, I think.
Speaker 1: And I also don't like Hay Bulldog. I'm sorry to
Speaker 1: anyone who likes all Dog.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I forgot that song last Yeah some quick
Speaker 2: Beatles Trivia before please, So you know the song the End,
Speaker 2: which is the third act of the trilogy at Golden Slumbers.
Speaker 1: Love You.
Speaker 2: Yes, So that song was actually the last song the
Speaker 2: Beatles together ever recorded, and it was the end, And
Speaker 2: it wasn't the last song they released though, because they
Speaker 2: released the albums out of order. They didn't let it
Speaker 2: be after they did, right, and but.
Speaker 1: They recorded Abbey Road before Yes.
Speaker 2: So the last song that they ever recorded was together
Speaker 2: all together was the End. Oh it's pretty cool?
Speaker 1: Crazy?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Have you do you like the news song that Now
Speaker 1: and Forever? What's it called? Then and Now? And then?
Speaker 1: It's their new release that just they cumpled. You know,
Speaker 1: they put together a bunch of old recordings. It's the
Speaker 1: last of the the tracks that will ever come out
Speaker 1: of the Beatles, Like they're not gonna squeeze.
Speaker 2: The sponge anymore. Real Love, which is one of my
Speaker 2: favorite songs ever. Yeah, it's like, God damn, that motherfucker
Speaker 2: so fucking good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was like came out in nineteen ninety seven
Speaker 1: or eight or something like that.
Speaker 2: That was what the anthology.
Speaker 1: And then the first anthology song though was Real Love
Speaker 1: was the second one. No, no, no, it was a different.
Speaker 2: One because red is the color that isn't that.
Speaker 1: Yes it was on a Yes, it is is on
Speaker 1: an album. I can almost guarantee it. Let's go to
Speaker 1: break and we'll figure this out when we get back.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the show. Okay. The other Beatles Anthology
Speaker 1: song was Free as a Bird, which I love because
Speaker 1: John Lennon sounds so spooky in it because they don't
Speaker 1: have his like the recording shit, so it's like as
Speaker 1: the Bird, it's the next best thing. It's so good.
Speaker 1: When those songs came out.
Speaker 2: The ship shot John Lennon, you like killed the equivalent
Speaker 2: of a thousand people or something. I mean, what a
Speaker 2: what a what a theft on humanity to steal that man.
Speaker 2: You know, at least George Harrison was stolen by God,
Speaker 2: but John Lennon was stolen by a man.
Speaker 1: And that's answer. Yeah, which I guess God gave him, yes,
Speaker 1: And it's all that Dopey smoked in the sixties.
Speaker 2: We don't know if the Beatles were gonna ever get
Speaker 2: I bet you the Beatles would have gotten back together
Speaker 2: in the nineties or.
Speaker 1: A thousand question. The only people that don't get back
Speaker 1: together for money is Oasis brothers. Those two are like, really,
Speaker 1: I can't believe not enough money hasn't been offered for
Speaker 1: those two to settle their grievances. But you know, the
Speaker 1: Beatles would have been totally gotten back together because you
Speaker 1: might see them back with AI. Yeah, you're right, that
Speaker 1: will happen.
Speaker 2: Fuck that. But you're like, they're not going to make
Speaker 2: new Beatles songs?
Speaker 1: That are you know they might be able to do
Speaker 1: with AI. Oh my god, I don't.
Speaker 2: AI is capable of doing anything artistic. That's good. Really,
Speaker 2: that's right.
Speaker 1: They won't make it. It doesn't mean they won't.
Speaker 2: Make it, but I know that AI is making a
Speaker 2: lot of music now and beats and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: But I feel like there's two things that AI can't do.
Speaker 2: One is they can't make anything truly original because everything
Speaker 2: is taken from other artists and cobble together. Number Two,
Speaker 2: they can't have human experiences. Therefore, the art that they're
Speaker 2: creating is based on nothing. And I feel like art
Speaker 2: they learn.
Speaker 1: About having human experiences from observing from you know, consuming
Speaker 1: all of our media and writing.
Speaker 2: And it can only mimic what other it's It's just
Speaker 2: it's just all AI is right now. Is this predictive,
Speaker 2: It's just a prediction engine. It's just predicting what the
Speaker 2: next word most highly probable would be after the previous
Speaker 2: word that was said, or whatever programming or however they're
Speaker 2: doing it. But it's it's not anything. It's not creating
Speaker 2: new experiences, it's not experiencing anything. It's not conscious in
Speaker 2: any way. It's just probability. Like if I say the
Speaker 2: it's like it's basically like a really advanced version. Know,
Speaker 2: when you're texting on your phone and it gives.
Speaker 1: You like, yeah, can we play that game? Can we
Speaker 1: play the game?
Speaker 2: Game?
Speaker 1: We got it so fun? Basically check that's my favorite game. Okay,
Speaker 1: I am going to pull up I'm going to write
Speaker 1: to Noah. Okay, so what you do is you pull
Speaker 1: up your phone. If you have an iPhone, if you
Speaker 1: have a droid, what the fuck are you even listening
Speaker 1: to this podcast for I don't even want you guys
Speaker 1: to listen now, I'm just kidding. Uh, Droid phones actually
Speaker 1: take better pictures by far. Okay. So I'm gonna pick
Speaker 1: up I'm gonna pull up Noah, and I'm gonna put
Speaker 1: in Okay. So it's starting with My predictive thing is
Speaker 1: the and I like to do it where I press
Speaker 1: sometimes the left one, sometimes the right one. I mix
Speaker 1: it up, but I blindly mix it up, so I'm
Speaker 1: not looking.
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna make a text instead of Noah. I
Speaker 2: think you should pick someone on your phone that's not
Speaker 2: involved in this conversation. Really, no matter what it says,
Speaker 2: you're gonna have to send it.
Speaker 1: Okay. I just did one for you to make Okay.
Speaker 1: I don't think you should pick me, because mine that
Speaker 1: I just did for you is just HI. There. Just
Speaker 1: wanted you to see how you're feeling today. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's good that so you would be because Also, it
Speaker 1: kind of starts almost like you're like, hey, I just
Speaker 1: want to make sure those files uploaded if if you
Speaker 1: could check, Like it's still like, hey, not a big deal.
Speaker 1: I know you have a lot going on today. Like
Speaker 1: that's I would predict. Noah's would be like, hey, it's
Speaker 1: always understanding of my circumstance plus asking me for something,
Speaker 1: plus a cab out of like you don't have to
Speaker 1: do this now, it doesn't really matter. I love you.
Speaker 1: It's always like she's the best friend a person could
Speaker 1: ask for, Like, God, I love it. Okay, so I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Pick she just sent a text to Kirsten or something.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll send it to Kurston. She'll be so confused.
Speaker 1: But she's probably teaching a polity of stuff right now,
Speaker 1: so I have time before she starts. Okay, So I'm
Speaker 1: pressing it blindly.
Speaker 2: You have to do at least until a sentence is
Speaker 2: for him.
Speaker 1: I'm doing it like so much. I'm going and I'm
Speaker 1: going fast. Okay. Oh, there's some emojis coming in.
Speaker 2: Wow, you have emojis in there.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is okay. Tell me when to
Speaker 1: stop wop. The only way I could do that was
Speaker 1: if I could find someone to help you with your
Speaker 1: car payment, I could get it paid for you. If
Speaker 1: you would rather, I can pay you for it. If
Speaker 1: I can do that, and you don't have a problem.
Speaker 1: I just want you to be honest. I just don't
Speaker 1: know if I can help you. You can help you
Speaker 1: out if you're not busy or not. If you're busy,
Speaker 1: just let us be friends. I love you. I hope
Speaker 1: you're okay.
Speaker 2: Wow, that really encapsulates a laser crack.
Speaker 1: Pay you. I'll let you know when I can pay you.
Speaker 1: It's no problem. But can I pay you? And I
Speaker 1: love you? And I'm just very busy, and I hope
Speaker 1: you're well.
Speaker 2: And you wanted to be honest? Oh yeah, and I
Speaker 2: want you to be I mean that more Ni Glazer.
Speaker 1: I just had to write. That's a game we played
Speaker 1: on the pod. Okay, that is so funny. All right, Okay,
Speaker 1: who are you gonna do?
Speaker 2: No as you got I don't know a lot of
Speaker 2: your circle. But you could do your husband.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you do your husband, or you can
Speaker 1: do Kirsten. You do Curson too, Okay, to do Kirsten too.
Speaker 1: Oh God, he's gonna get so many He's gonna get
Speaker 1: a car paid. I'm gonna I'm gonna raise the thing
Speaker 1: that I said. I'm playing a game. Damn it, I'm
Speaker 1: erasing it. Oh my god, mine is so boring.
Speaker 2: Okay, so okay, here we go.
Speaker 1: I just pushed the middle one. Okay, Hey there, I'm
Speaker 1: on the road. I should have an hour and a
Speaker 1: half before where I'm back to work. I will text
Speaker 1: when I'm leaving, and i'll text when I leave, and
Speaker 1: I can come get the car if that's cool, and
Speaker 1: I'll be home by five. Got the car payment. I
Speaker 1: talked to her, Wow the car. Disparate texts about this car,
Speaker 1: pem that she's gotta be honest with It's again. I
Speaker 1: like how Noah's is Noah, we can tell when you text,
Speaker 1: it's mostly about alerting people to like let them know
Speaker 1: that something's gonna happen, right like you're you're you use
Speaker 1: your phone for like the reason it should be used
Speaker 1: is like, hey, I'm going to arrive at this time.
Speaker 1: This is stuff you need to know. I really like that. Okay, Brian,
Speaker 1: do you want christ Do you have your number?
Speaker 2: I'll I have the car. Why are you pick that up?
Speaker 2: What's her note?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Wait, you can't tell me your number on the ID.
Speaker 1: You can just bleep it. Do you want to do it?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, Okay, here we go. Did you just do middle? Nick,
Speaker 2: you do first and third and middle or whatever you want.
Speaker 1: I went all over. I went like like I was
Speaker 1: just like crossing, very feverishly fast.
Speaker 2: Okay, tell me what to stop?
Speaker 1: Do do do do do do do do do do
Speaker 1: do do stop.
Speaker 2: Okay, please tell me.
Speaker 1: Not gonna fucking no, wait, it's listening. Then.
Speaker 2: I'm a little late clock emoji to this one. But
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go and see if they are available for
Speaker 2: a little visit tomorrow morning. I will be there to
Speaker 2: get it and then I can get the car. I
Speaker 2: am not hold hold.
Speaker 1: The fuck on? Wait, send it, send it and it's
Speaker 1: a car Emojiay, I'm gonna text her. Now. You just
Speaker 1: got a random text from Brian Franjie because we're on
Speaker 1: the podcast and we're sending predictive texts of what our
Speaker 1: phone would think to send you. Period, we each had
Speaker 1: a text predict that we should send you something about
Speaker 1: a car. Period. Be on the lookout for car stuff today.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean maybe it's cursed and not us.
Speaker 1: Oh, weird when I send a car here in when
Speaker 1: I wrote car stuff, when I dictated it was c
Speaker 1: A R R like Alan Carr a car. Oh whoa.
Speaker 1: That's so fun. Everyone should play that when you're bored
Speaker 1: and have nothing else to do on your phone, play
Speaker 1: predictive text games with your friends, because sometimes Chris and
Speaker 1: I used to do it so often that I would
Speaker 1: always know if I got like a giant, you know,
Speaker 1: tower of text, that it was that, and then you
Speaker 1: just read it and you go like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I want to see what I would say to Chris.
Speaker 1: Let's just see where our relationship is today.
Speaker 2: Is it different for who you're texting? I think it's
Speaker 2: just based on.
Speaker 1: I really, it's just based on cars. Oh wait, wait
Speaker 1: this kind of car you guys? Car is coming up again? No?
Speaker 1: Maybe because it here's us.
Speaker 2: Do you think it's hearing us and it's saying we're well, No,
Speaker 2: because it's not hearing you, because I'm hearing you through
Speaker 2: my headphones and Mike exactly.
Speaker 1: It doesn't know. The only way I could get the
Speaker 1: job is to go back in and get my car serviced,
Speaker 1: and so I can come back and do the work
Speaker 1: for you. But you will have a good night. I
Speaker 1: will see if you want me to. If not, I'll
Speaker 1: get you something else. I don't care about that. But
Speaker 1: you know what, you don't have a job and you
Speaker 1: can do whatever. I don't want. You know, I love
Speaker 1: you that you have to you have to work for
Speaker 1: a lot, and you have a job, and I don't
Speaker 1: care if I have a problem. Wow, this is so
Speaker 1: it's you know, I feel like I'm a good person
Speaker 1: based on these things. I feel like I'm a very
Speaker 1: empathetic This is an empathetic person's predictive AI texting.
Speaker 2: You're trying to explain how you feel. You're saying that
Speaker 2: you love the person regardless, and if you just want
Speaker 2: to fix the problem, and if it needs if you
Speaker 2: need to pay for it, you will.
Speaker 1: My car needs to be serviced so bad, you guys.
Speaker 1: It is leaking oil onto the engine, then it's burning,
Speaker 1: and then the burnt oil smell travels into my nose.
Speaker 1: I really am getting brain damage, probably from breathing in this.
Speaker 1: But it's not actually like ruining the car. The car drive,
Speaker 1: It's just ruining me car. What I do. It is
Speaker 1: so embarrassing to pull up in this car in this town.
Speaker 1: People think I'm like a big deal. And then I
Speaker 1: pull up in my mom's beat up Lexus, which is
Speaker 1: a nice Lexuses are so nice. It drives, it's so old,
Speaker 1: and it's like really dented up. I backed into a trailer.
Speaker 1: It poked a hole through the back bumper, so it
Speaker 1: looks I have a bullet hole back there.
Speaker 2: There's a lot going on.
Speaker 1: But anyway, last night, so myody, we go to this
Speaker 1: picture of this car. Please, oh my god, I will.
Speaker 1: I'll give you one, Like people need to see what
Speaker 1: it is a faded dusty green, so it always looks dirty,
Speaker 1: like it's kind of dusty green that you can't it
Speaker 1: can't look And also I don't like that this happens.
Speaker 1: But it needs a whitening for its lights, Like it's
Speaker 1: almost like teeth are are like the lights of a car,
Speaker 1: and my cars are yellowing like the lights are yellow.
Speaker 1: So it always looks Dirney always. And yeah, it drives
Speaker 1: like a dream. It's so smooth and I love it.
Speaker 1: But I really need a new car. I have a
Speaker 1: feeling Chris and I are going to find one over
Speaker 1: the break and I will have a new car soon
Speaker 1: and I will feel amazing about it. And you guys
Speaker 1: will hear about it so much. I will text you
Speaker 1: about it all the time because that's all my phone
Speaker 1: wants to even talk about anyway. But yo, so yo yo,
Speaker 1: so let yes, fucking my phone needs to learn that. Yo.
Speaker 1: We're at Saint Vincent de Paulio and we are rifting,
Speaker 1: and my mom's like, your dad's mad at me because
Speaker 1: I want to go to this oyster bar to hear
Speaker 1: this band and your dad doesn't like them. And I go, Mom,
Speaker 1: and this is what the You know, when we were
Speaker 1: talking the other day about do you ever feel like
Speaker 1: you're counseling your parents? I always just And this helps
Speaker 1: me a lot with my relationship. I go the things
Speaker 1: I see my parents repeatedly argue about and complain about
Speaker 1: within their marriage. It's like they knew both these things.
Speaker 1: They knew all of these things about each other when
Speaker 1: they got married. And there's this delusion that somehow along
Speaker 1: the way, in forty two years of marriage that someone's
Speaker 1: gonna change, And I go, mom, Dad married a party
Speaker 1: animal and a woman who likes to party, and he can't.
Speaker 1: It does make sense to think that your wife would
Speaker 1: mellow out into her sixty But she hasn't. She's a
Speaker 1: party animal, and I go. Dad has to reckon with that.
Speaker 1: He has to just realize that you like to party.
Speaker 1: And also he benefits from that so much because my
Speaker 1: dad does like to party. And they both stay up
Speaker 1: late and play music into the night into like three
Speaker 1: in the morning a lot of times with their friends
Speaker 1: and stuff. Yeah they'll do it alone, Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they love staying up late and playing music. And they're
Speaker 1: not like deeply unhealthy people or like you know, they're
Speaker 1: not you know, horrible boot They're just they like to
Speaker 1: have a good time. And it's like it's I love
Speaker 1: coming from that kind of stock of people who just
Speaker 1: like like a good party. But my mom likes to
Speaker 1: party a little bit heartier than my dad. She likes
Speaker 1: to drink a little bit more. She likes to get
Speaker 1: sch wasted, which your your Girl relates to. My mom
Speaker 1: likes to get a little blackout and and you know
Speaker 1: she's gonna be having dementia soon, which that will be
Speaker 1: her being blackout all the time. Like you know, when
Speaker 1: Grandma's get like, they forget stuff and people just go all.
Speaker 1: But when people who drink to blackout get drunk, everyone's
Speaker 1: like you don't remember that, like they punish you for it.
Speaker 1: So I think it's yeah, I always.
Speaker 2: Well one of them is you're you're doing and the
Speaker 2: other one is I.
Speaker 1: Don't think it's your fault that you want to drink
Speaker 1: to blackout.
Speaker 2: Well sure, sure you want to that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, you know how I feel about
Speaker 1: that stuff. Nothing's interesting, nothing special, and everything's not your fault,
Speaker 1: but also it is, so yeah. Anyway, it was just
Speaker 1: an interesting conversation of and she kind of was like
Speaker 1: thank you, you're right, you know. And then and then
Speaker 1: later on, I was like, Dad, are you mad we're
Speaker 1: driving her to this bar? And he's like, I'm not mad.
Speaker 1: I get to go home, be alone in peace.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be nice.
Speaker 1: I was just like, he's mad about it, but yeah,
Speaker 1: they're just like they're just cuties. And they went to
Speaker 1: this party. It was so fun going to a party
Speaker 1: with my.
Speaker 2: Home and start working on his conspiracy novel. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: oh yeah, you're going to match Onya's dad get.
Speaker 1: Thirty one sales. I was just like, it's somewhat jealous.
Speaker 1: I called about he goes and I was like, thank
Speaker 1: you for admitting you're a little bit threatened by this,
Speaker 1: like a friend of mine whose dad wrote a book,
Speaker 1: and then I was thinking about, like, God, you ever
Speaker 1: look at all these books and just go like, I
Speaker 1: can't believe people wrote this many books. Yes, someone that'd
Speaker 1: sit down. It is so hard to write a fucking book, man,
Speaker 1: and so many people have done it, And I think
Speaker 1: it's even harder now because there's less to do. Back
Speaker 1: in the olden days, like that was just kind of
Speaker 1: what there's not much to do. When you got a typewriter,
Speaker 1: that was like, yeah, that was like scrolling on your phone.
Speaker 1: People would be like, oh, you're wasting your life writing
Speaker 1: that book over there on the hype. All you're doing
Speaker 1: is just typing.
Speaker 2: That's how I feel, especially about like nonfiction books. Like
Speaker 2: every couple of years, some random politician that was just
Speaker 2: like in the state department, we'll write a three hundred
Speaker 2: page book about like the year, and it's like, man,
Speaker 2: and then you know people and that people read that
Speaker 2: book that year, and then it's just a waste.
Speaker 1: And then it's just I mean, isn't that everything though
Speaker 1: you put so much effort into it and then it's
Speaker 1: just fleeting. I saw this really interesting thought experiment today
Speaker 1: on Instagram. I put it on the girl's chat, but
Speaker 1: it was this girl. It started out really annoying. I
Speaker 1: like hated her. She was just like, let's do a
Speaker 1: thought experiment. And I love thought experiments because they're usually
Speaker 1: I've always heard thought experiment. I first enjoyed heard the
Speaker 1: phrase thought experiment from Sam Harris, who is obviously the
Speaker 1: most intellectual person I could imagine, and so I liked
Speaker 1: them at first because they just they're usually philosophical questions
Speaker 1: that make you go, oh my god, they totally turn
Speaker 1: your world around, and this one actually interested me. So
Speaker 1: this girl was talking about, imagine your life is fast forwarded,
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, all of the things in
Speaker 1: your life just flash by in a second, like the
Speaker 1: seasons change, and you're watching the earth spin and you're
Speaker 1: seeing the seasons change and the sunrise and sunset, and
Speaker 1: it's going so fast, and all of the birthdays and
Speaker 1: anniversaries and celebrations and Christmases and everything just lose. And
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, you're there at the end
Speaker 1: of your life, and you're laying in bed at the
Speaker 1: end of your life. It's the last day of your life.
Speaker 1: You've arrived at it, and your consciousness is going through
Speaker 1: every single day of the past ninety years of your life,
Speaker 1: and it decides to pick one day to pull up
Speaker 1: for you to watch again and to relive, and suddenly
Speaker 1: you are in let's say it's today. That day is today,
Speaker 1: you right now watching this at home. It's today right
Speaker 1: now that it picks up. And wouldn't you want that
Speaker 1: day to be something where you're not laying in bed
Speaker 1: scrolling on a phone. Wouldn't you want in your nine
Speaker 1: year old self, you get to one more day be
Speaker 1: in a younger body, with this young skin and your
Speaker 1: young hair, in your flexible joints and your strong bones.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't you want to go do something with that body
Speaker 1: that's like walk outside and breathe in the air, which
Speaker 1: is probably at ninety not really breatheable because you can't
Speaker 1: go outside anymore. Don't you want to go look at
Speaker 1: animals that are probably I'm adding all these things because
Speaker 1: I believe in a more dystopian future than this girl
Speaker 1: probably did. But don't you want to go look at animals?
Speaker 1: Don't you want to go call up someone who's now
Speaker 1: long dead and you haven't talked to in thirty years
Speaker 1: since they passed away, don't you want to go do that?
Speaker 1: And it really for whatever reason, At first I was
Speaker 1: rolling my eyes, and then I was like, man, this
Speaker 1: is like really tracking for me because I all of
Speaker 1: a sudden put myself in my nine year old body
Speaker 1: when all of my friends are dead, all of the
Speaker 1: people that are now currently in my life are gone,
Speaker 1: long gone. And I was like, I need to go
Speaker 1: see my fucking niece enophew today. Like it created the
Speaker 1: surgeon me that after I get done with Yeah, they'll
Speaker 1: actually they will be Okay, I shouldn't.
Speaker 2: Go to do that.
Speaker 1: I gotta go hang out with see them. My mom
Speaker 1: will probably still be trucking. Yeah, yeah, I shouldn't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I could see them. Then they'll be there holding up
Speaker 1: the simulation for me to watch. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you'll have to hold up an iPad for the simulation,
Speaker 1: but they'll be there. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I go to a Led Zeppelin cover band. That's what
Speaker 2: I would.
Speaker 1: That's living, baby, what my mom is doing is living.
Speaker 1: And that's not saying that scrolling isn't fun. I like
Speaker 1: scrolling on my phone. There's no shame in that. I
Speaker 1: like going on Reddit, I like listening to podcasts. I
Speaker 1: like being in bed in the dark. I like those things.
Speaker 1: It is okay, But spending your whole day doing that
Speaker 1: not okay. You know, like even if you suffer with depression,
Speaker 1: like try to do something that gets you out so
Speaker 1: that if that day is the day you choose at
Speaker 1: the end of your life, which we don't know that
Speaker 1: this is a thing that even happens, that there's something
Speaker 1: in that day that you go, WHOA. I get to
Speaker 1: feel my body, I get to be young again. I
Speaker 1: get to be around people that I love again and
Speaker 1: enjoy the world that once was. I thought that was
Speaker 1: kind of just a.
Speaker 2: Way to enjoy that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 2: I thought I had a belief a few times where
Speaker 2: when you die you just start rewatching your entire life.
Speaker 2: One thing I think is that what if hell is
Speaker 2: you have to redo everything you did in your life,
Speaker 2: except everything is grouped together. So like, let's say you
Speaker 2: ate turkey sandwiches, you ate a thousand turkey sandwiches over
Speaker 2: the course of your life. In hell, you have to
Speaker 2: eat one thousand turkey sandwiches in a row before you
Speaker 2: can move on to the next thing. Let's say you
Speaker 2: which took poops for you know, seven hundred and eighty
Speaker 2: hours total. Then you have to poop for that long.
Speaker 2: In hell, let's say you had sex for because everything's
Speaker 2: bad if it's long enough so that it's all things
Speaker 2: added together in a row. That's one thing I've thought before.
Speaker 1: Well, I was watching this girl yesterday, a girl I followed,
Speaker 1: Katina Quilo Kuilo, Katina.
Speaker 2: Quilo, Quilo, Tila tequila.
Speaker 1: No quila, Katina Quilo eats. Katina eats. I think it's
Speaker 1: her name, but she does. She's like a you know,
Speaker 1: she eats a bunch of food on Instagram. She's not
Speaker 1: a muckbanger necessarily. She's does food challenges all over the world,
Speaker 1: and she's so adorable. She looks like Noah, oh she
Speaker 1: and she is a body like has been a bodybuilder before,
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm guessing she does some kind of MMA.
Speaker 1: But she also met her husband, who is also a
Speaker 1: food competitive competitive eater, through the competitive eating like community,
Speaker 1: and she met him and they would do videos together
Speaker 1: just like we're friends, and then they just like started dating.
Speaker 1: It was so cute. You could tell they got together
Speaker 1: to like because they probably had like a crush on
Speaker 1: each other but didn't need to it was just you know,
Speaker 1: it's like how comedians sometimes like start dating and you
Speaker 1: can see like a podcast where they first met or whatever.
Speaker 1: It's just fun to see that kind of stuff in
Speaker 1: the like thenessence naissance of their relationship.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anyway, so Katina Kilo's whatever. She ate a deep dish
Speaker 1: Chicago pizza the other day and a giant thing of
Speaker 1: beer and a giant pizza and a thing of fries.
Speaker 1: And I was like watching it because I was like, damn,
Speaker 1: that looks good, Like my my vegan self is just like,
Speaker 1: oh the cheese pole, because the cheese pole was just
Speaker 1: like it was so good. And and then it got
Speaker 1: to a place where she was, you know, it was
Speaker 1: like her hell where she was eating this pizza and
Speaker 1: you could just tell she was just like, oh, Like,
Speaker 1: it's so funny how something so amazing can go from
Speaker 1: being like the greatest thing in the world to like,
Speaker 1: if I have another bite, I'll die. Yeah, And I
Speaker 1: hate it so much. I used to feel that all
Speaker 1: the way all the time with Skyline Chili. I used
Speaker 1: to always binge too much of it as a kid,
Speaker 1: and then I would be like, how can I love
Speaker 1: something so much? And then I hate it. It is
Speaker 1: all things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fuck, too much of anything is bad.
Speaker 1: That's why separate bedrooms. Dog, people didn't write separate bedroom
Speaker 1: did you see did you see a thing? There was
Speaker 1: some kind of study that came out that like, well,
Speaker 1: first of all, who camera Diaz says she does separate
Speaker 1: bedrooms in her religion? Was it her? No? No, no
Speaker 1: wait no no no, no, no, no, no no me
Speaker 1: Once she says we should normalize the conversation. She says,
Speaker 1: there's nothing bad if you sleep in separate bedrooms. But
Speaker 1: and she said she said this was her opinion before marriage.
Speaker 1: But she also said, which I feel like is kind
Speaker 1: of like like a little bit assuming that your marriage
Speaker 1: is bad if you do it. She's like, my marriage
Speaker 1: is so good right now that we don't need to
Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, that's not good. That's judge you. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, you should have seen, like you read the
Speaker 1: comments about just the headline that seemed like she was
Speaker 1: just in support of separate bedrooms for a healthy relationship,
Speaker 1: And you should have read the comments. It's just like
Speaker 1: all of these threatened fucking dads, chads and brads to
Speaker 1: quote Taylor Swift, that are like the uh, if you
Speaker 1: want to unhealth. Well, I actually don't need this because
Speaker 1: I love my wife my husband, and I don't need
Speaker 1: this because he loves me. And it's just like you
Speaker 1: guys are so fucking threatened. And I bet you anything
Speaker 1: people commenting that you everyone maybe your husband loves you,
Speaker 1: but everyone else in your life hates you. It's the
Speaker 1: and he is stuck with you. You are a terrible person.
Speaker 1: There's the There are the worst people commenting on Instagram things.
Speaker 1: If you want to see the word the dregs of society,
Speaker 1: look at any comment under like the Daily Mails Instagram.
Speaker 1: It's truly or E or E news, any celebrity news.
Speaker 1: I'm so embarrassed to be someone who likes this kind
Speaker 1: of stuff because the people that comment on it are
Speaker 1: seriously the dumbest, moronic, most judgmental, miserable you've ever imagined.
Speaker 1: They're fake. Part of me thinks is just like the
Speaker 1: dumb ut all down like ager, they're real people, dude,
Speaker 1: they I think they're real that they keep talking.
Speaker 2: About separate bedrooms. But yesterday you posted a god I
Speaker 2: forgot the comedian, but you posted he was on the
Speaker 2: airplane and he caught two people. It was Adam Ray
Speaker 2: caught two people. Why don't you describe it?
Speaker 1: NICKI God, okay, well, let men we describe it when
Speaker 1: we get back from break, because it Yeah, I would
Speaker 1: love to hear your edition. We'll talk about Adam Ray's
Speaker 1: Instagram post that I was like. My comment was, I
Speaker 1: have to text you immediately to find out what the
Speaker 1: rest of the story happened. And I'll tell you when
Speaker 1: I texted him after this, Yes, and I did. I
Speaker 1: did not find out because it's wait, yeah, okay, but
Speaker 1: we'll talk about whatever this. Okay, So we're back. So
Speaker 1: Adam Ray yesterday posted a video of him filming a
Speaker 1: couple watching a movie full volume on their phone together,
Speaker 1: and he's sitting next to Sandy Danto. His opener, I'm guessing,
Speaker 1: and Sandy Danto he puts the phone he's filming the couple.
Speaker 1: You can't see Adam, and then he moves it onto
Speaker 1: Sandy and Sandy's just laughing like I can't believe this,
Speaker 1: kind of like eyes wide open, like holy fuck. And
Speaker 1: then he goes back to the guy. The guy then
Speaker 1: takes a handful of peanuts or cashews or whatever, eats
Speaker 1: some of it, and as he's eating it, he kind
Speaker 1: of catches that Adam's filming him, and he looks over
Speaker 1: and he just stares at him down for probably like
Speaker 1: five seconds, and then Adam just goes, it's so loud.
Speaker 1: It's so loud. And then the woman looks over and
Speaker 1: then she suddenly starts turning it down. She's like, He goes, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's fine. It's just hilarious, and then it cuts off.
Speaker 1: So I was like, what the fuck happened? After that?
Speaker 1: It was a perfect approach Adam Ray. I love Adam
Speaker 1: Ray so much. If you weren't following Adam Ray on
Speaker 1: YouTube and Instagram, you don't know what's up. He is
Speaker 1: one of the funniest, most quickest guys out there. His
Speaker 1: character work is hilarious. He does Doctor Phil live at
Speaker 1: the Comedy Store, and he puts up those live shows.
Speaker 1: He did one with Bill Burr, he did one with
Speaker 1: Santino Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee recently. They are so funny.
Speaker 1: He is so quick. His crowd work is amazing. On
Speaker 1: his stand up, he did this one clip where he
Speaker 1: was asking about someone's like son or daughter. God, did
Speaker 1: you remember that one? That made me cry? I know, right,
Speaker 1: hold on, I went through like a whole roller coaster
Speaker 1: of a moment. Really you did, okay? So he so
Speaker 1: he asked about this person's kids and no life. They're like,
Speaker 1: what is your what does your son do? And they're like,
Speaker 1: oh whatever, and they're like what is your daughter? What
Speaker 1: does your other son do? And he's just like quiet,
Speaker 1: and he goes this guy doesn't even know he doesn't
Speaker 1: even know what a son does. He doesn't even give
Speaker 1: a fuck about his son. It's not exactly that, but
Speaker 1: it's something like that where the guy like didn't answer him,
Speaker 1: so he did it. Adam assumed, like, you don't even
Speaker 1: know where your son lives or whatever. And then the
Speaker 1: wife volunteers, our son is dead and so and they're
Speaker 1: with a live band. So Adam is like jamming out.
Speaker 1: He's singing this as he's going. So he's like, oh fuck,
Speaker 1: what did I do? What did I do? This is weird?
Speaker 1: Where do we go? What do we do? I don't
Speaker 1: know where to take this song? And then he's like,
Speaker 1: but then it turns around at the end. Didn't you
Speaker 1: love the end? Wasn't Wasn't it emotional? Because then he's
Speaker 1: because Adam's a sweet guy. He's never gonna go harder
Speaker 1: in ever, he's like, he's one of my favorite people.
Speaker 1: But he's I'm getting emotional thinking about it now too,
Speaker 1: because it's awkward for a second, but the band is
Speaker 1: still going and everyone's kind of freaking out that this
Speaker 1: woman just like but she seemed okay with it saying it,
Speaker 1: so it's both sign lighthearted. Yeah yeah, and then she goes,
Speaker 1: I just want you to know that my son would
Speaker 1: love this, her dead son, and he goes, that's it, Yes,
Speaker 1: you're and then any that's my trigger if there is
Speaker 1: a dead person that is being talked about, like they
Speaker 1: are there and like that they would like have an
Speaker 1: opinion about what's happening presently. It started with Forrest Gump,
Speaker 1: where it was like, Jenny, you'd be so proud when
Speaker 1: he said that, like a dead person being cognizant of
Speaker 1: what's happening. I can't handle it, dude, I can't fucking
Speaker 1: handle it. So then I started crying at that part too.
Speaker 1: But then they started going like, what's your son's name?
Speaker 1: And they're like Max, and they're like, let's give it
Speaker 1: up for Max. Let's give it up for Max. And
Speaker 1: then the whole crowd is like let's give it up
Speaker 1: for Max. And then it's like this whole crescendo of
Speaker 1: like this this thing that could have gone so wrong
Speaker 1: becomes like this beautiful moment with the whole crowd, and
Speaker 1: it was just such a I couldn't believe. I thought
Speaker 1: it should have gone so more viral than it did.
Speaker 1: So go to Adam the Ray's instagram and watch that clip,
Speaker 1: and then watch the clip of him walking, which means
Speaker 1: if you walk someone as a comedian, that means they
Speaker 1: walk out of the room. So it's not a good
Speaker 1: thing necessarily, Like that means that's off They're offended or
Speaker 1: they got upset, or like they left. So if you
Speaker 1: walk a room, it means like the whole room walked
Speaker 1: out on you, and that's like the worst thing that
Speaker 1: could happen as a comedian. It's like, oh, he walked
Speaker 1: the room, you know, the whole room left. And Norm
Speaker 1: MacDonald famously would walk half the room like at shows
Speaker 1: up until his death. Like he would always offend people,
Speaker 1: which is so great because they would go to see
Speaker 1: him as like that's the US and O guy and
Speaker 1: like we loved he's from TV, and then they would
Speaker 1: be horribly offended and it was like a point of
Speaker 1: pride for for him, I'm sure, and comedians that would
Speaker 1: like revel in watching these people like not not get
Speaker 1: norm in the way that we all do. But so
Speaker 1: Adam was Adam should never walk anyone because Adam is
Speaker 1: an inclusive comedian who's like just having fun up there
Speaker 1: but also taking some chances and just being He's great
Speaker 1: at crowd work. So he's doing crowd work. And it
Speaker 1: was a Christmas party for this law firm and he
Speaker 1: said something to a guy and was like, what do
Speaker 1: you do at the law firm? And he was like, uh,
Speaker 1: maintenance work. And he made some comment about like maybe
Speaker 1: that that's it's hard work or it's like, man, that's
Speaker 1: hard labor. He made some kind of comment that it
Speaker 1: was like I couldn't do that, like, oh, that sounds rough,
Speaker 1: and he kind of wasn't disparaging about it, but it was,
Speaker 1: you know, commenting on the fact that maintenance meant isn't
Speaker 1: like the most cushy job at a law firm. Correct.
Speaker 1: So then one guy like stood up for the maintenance
Speaker 1: man was like, while you talk about your own job,
Speaker 1: or like yeah, because it's so easy because you're up
Speaker 1: there and he's just like wait, what, Like the guy
Speaker 1: just flipped out. So then Adam tries to go, hey,
Speaker 1: you're drunk, like it's okay, man, I want you to stay, like,
Speaker 1: don't get upset, and the guy was just staring him down.
Speaker 1: You can like see this guy looking at him. And
Speaker 1: then the whole law firm decides to get up as
Speaker 1: a unit and leave the DC and prop he walks
Speaker 1: forty two people in one within ten minutes, and it's
Speaker 1: so wild and hilarious. And I usually don't like watching
Speaker 1: those videos of like watch this comedian and handle this heckler,
Speaker 1: Like I don't ever watch those videos, but Adam Rake
Speaker 1: consistently puts out great stuff. But I loved this plane moment,
Speaker 1: and I wrote I wrote Adam immediately, and I said
Speaker 1: I couldn't say it on his comments because I knew
Speaker 1: people wouldn't get the joke. But I'm like, you're as
Speaker 1: much of a hero as the Let's Roll guy from
Speaker 1: nine to eleven. And Chris didn't know that reference, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, there's a guy a nine to
Speaker 1: eleven when they took down the hijacker plane and crashed
Speaker 1: it instead of it crashing into a building, they overheard him.
Speaker 1: You know, it's lore. We don't know for sure he
Speaker 1: said it, but we There's one guy that was like,
Speaker 1: when they were getting at the boot boiling water to
Speaker 1: go pour on the terraces, he went, let's roll, and
Speaker 1: so that became like this anthem of like a hero's response.
Speaker 1: So I said, you were up there with the let's
Speaker 1: roll guys as a joke, because obviously he's not. But
Speaker 1: and I said, what else happened? He just goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was insane, man. So I didn't press further, but
Speaker 1: I'm like, God, I want to know more. I'll find
Speaker 1: out in person. What did you want to say about it? Brian?
Speaker 2: Well, the comments underneath there's three top comment.
Speaker 1: No, I can't handle it. If anyone was defending that couple,
Speaker 1: I can't fucking handle it.
Speaker 2: Brian, Well, do you want me to just stop and
Speaker 2: stop the podcast?
Speaker 1: No, don't stop, But I literally I cannot. I didn't
Speaker 1: even read the comments because I go, no, one, he's
Speaker 1: going to not be on our side.
Speaker 2: I lost faith in humanity when I read these comments.
Speaker 2: So the first comment on the top is your comment,
Speaker 2: I'm texting you for full story now. But then the
Speaker 2: second comment is am I the this is from uh
Speaker 2: I won't say their name. Am I the only one
Speaker 2: that is having a hard time finding why this is
Speaker 2: a big deal to others?
Speaker 1: Are you fucking kidding me? Lady? Are you fucking kidding me? Man?
Speaker 2: Yeah? And then there's two hundred and thirty nine replies
Speaker 2: to that comment trying to explain to him why it's
Speaker 2: inconsiderate and rude, and he's arguing with all of them.
Speaker 2: So I don't know if he's trolling and he's just
Speaker 2: trying to work people up, but I really.
Speaker 1: This is this Hopefully this is the only comment that
Speaker 1: says that, right, Like, there aren't more people that are
Speaker 1: on this person's side, right, are there? How many likes
Speaker 1: does that comment have?
Speaker 2: Sixty eight?
Speaker 1: That is problematic? Dude, that's that's not good. That's too
Speaker 1: many likes.
Speaker 2: He goes on in his own comments, put in your earphones,
Speaker 2: y'all are crying about something you can fix and getting
Speaker 2: mad about not being able to control others. Oh well,
Speaker 2: stay mad. It's so it's so brazenly obnoxious. I feel
Speaker 2: like a liberal. I feel like a liberal.
Speaker 1: This is the only thing that could get my mouth
Speaker 1: to open. As far as Taylor swift. I am a
Speaker 1: gast at anyone defending these two pieces of shit. I
Speaker 1: can't believe two people have agreed that this is a
Speaker 1: good idea on a plane to listen full volume to
Speaker 1: their phone when they are in a first class cabin.
Speaker 1: It looked like it was a business class cabin. Not
Speaker 1: that it's like business class people should behave better, but
Speaker 1: kind of. I mean, like you've probably been there before,
Speaker 1: you know, like that's a quiet space. Wait, what is
Speaker 1: one of the rudest things that you experienced on a
Speaker 1: flight happening next to that? Happened? Anything comes to mind?
Speaker 1: That happened next to me. But it wasn't a couple.
Speaker 1: It wasn't two people who agreed. By the way, when
Speaker 1: two people like this ever agree to do something so
Speaker 1: insane together. Chris likes to say it reminds me of incest,
Speaker 1: that like a brother and sister both had to be like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm into fucking you, and they had to like both agree.
Speaker 1: I thought that was a really funny comment, but it is.
Speaker 1: He's always like I can't whenever hears about incest. He's like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe two people agreed that that was a
Speaker 1: good idea, Like the odds of that are wild, which
Speaker 1: means there's probably a lot more people single people wanting
Speaker 1: to fuck their sister or brother out there. The thing, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what is the worst thing you saw? I think, I think,
Speaker 1: I think that I can top that. The worst thing
Speaker 1: for me was some lady was changing her baby in
Speaker 1: the seats in front of us, not going to the
Speaker 1: bath instead of going to the bathroom to change the baby.
Speaker 1: Did she get confronted, Yes, thank good bye, a very
Speaker 1: sassy flight attendant that was like, you have to go
Speaker 1: do that in the bathroom, And then he came over
Speaker 1: and he like sprayed the area with like air freshener,
Speaker 1: which is also just a little bit worse. Yeah, no
Speaker 1: one needs to air fresh is horrible for you, by
Speaker 1: the way, like no one should be using any of
Speaker 1: that ship We have been so lied to that that
Speaker 1: is good for us in any way.
Speaker 2: There's another thing, big Al Fabriz but I put on
Speaker 2: my Instagram. Yeah, okay, it's one of my most underrated
Speaker 2: Instagram cartoons of all time. But it's big Al doing
Speaker 2: a Fabreeze commercial where I talk about how Fabriz just
Speaker 2: thinks the world stinks like shit needs to be sprayed
Speaker 2: with chemicals.
Speaker 1: It is chemicals, but for somehow we convince ourselves that
Speaker 1: that is really we should all be huffing it constantly.
Speaker 1: Just put your face into the pillow you just sprayed
Speaker 1: with this procter and gamble like killing ducks, runoff bullshit
Speaker 1: that Like, Yes.
Speaker 2: It's very sad. It's sad that you think that you
Speaker 2: need to that your couch stinks like shape.
Speaker 1: It probably does, but it needs to be cleaned in
Speaker 1: like a way where that the water runs through it,
Speaker 1: not just bring onto it. Do you know another delusional
Speaker 1: marketing thing that I talked about last night at a
Speaker 1: party because I was with a I was with a
Speaker 1: woman who's a vet tech or used to be. She
Speaker 1: was like, I quit two years ago because it's the
Speaker 1: most depressing job you can ever imagine as someone who
Speaker 1: loves animals, like you just have to get out of it.
Speaker 1: And I go, oh my god, we have the two
Speaker 1: leading occupations of suicides, comedians and vetechs. She was like this,
Speaker 1: I think I think comedians probably if if you were
Speaker 1: to average the amount of comedians that kill themselves versus
Speaker 1: comedians that are exist, we'd probably be up there with dentists.
Speaker 2: But it's but.
Speaker 1: It's veterans, veterinarians, dentists, and I would say people wouldhow
Speaker 1: business killed themselves the most. But she was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, yeah, we totally are. And she was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was just she goes, I was a really happy
Speaker 1: person and I loved my life and I loved life,
Speaker 1: and I loved animals, but I just witnessed so much abuse,
Speaker 1: animal abuse. And I was like, I didn't want to
Speaker 1: make her sadder, but I'm like, and that those are
Speaker 1: abusers bringing in their dogs. Think about all the if
Speaker 1: you abuse your dog most of the time, you're not
Speaker 1: bringing it in, Like, that's people who would risk getting caught.
Speaker 1: So those are the kinder abusers. And she said it
Speaker 1: was just constant, and so she was like a walking
Speaker 1: zombie after doing it for a few years and she
Speaker 1: had to quit. She had to walk away from a
Speaker 1: job that she loved so much for so many reasons,
Speaker 1: but but she just couldn't do it anymore because it
Speaker 1: was just so upsetting. So, yeah, everyone needs to be
Speaker 1: nicer to animals across the board. But she was talking
Speaker 1: about she brushes her dog's teeth every night, all of
Speaker 1: her dogs. She has three dogs, and she brushes all
Speaker 1: their teeth every night. And then Chris said something like, oh,
Speaker 1: you can't just give them that bone shaped as a
Speaker 1: brush a toothbrush, And I'm like, oh, yeah, Greenies. We
Speaker 1: all to the people behind Greenies, the evil, evil geniuses
Speaker 1: behind those toothbrush shaped bones. You are so diluted. I
Speaker 1: even believe it. Like it's shaped like a toothbrush. Yeah,
Speaker 1: why wouldn't it clean my dog's teeth? She goes. That
Speaker 1: would be like me telling you to gnaw on something
Speaker 1: to clean your teeth. It doesn't make any fucking sense. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it doesn't clean your dog's teeth. Please stop giving them those. Actually,
Speaker 1: you should be brushing your dog's teeth. I know I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm getting a dog soon, but I doubt
Speaker 1: that I would. But that is what everyone should be
Speaker 1: doing for your dog. Which is insane that we have
Speaker 1: to do that. But and cats, I don't know how
Speaker 1: the hell I'm gonna do that. Final thought you have?
Speaker 1: Do you brush? Do you brush? Uh? What's this buzzy
Speaker 1: fuzzy teeth?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well, I just I use the brush to like, like,
Speaker 1: I wet it a little bit, and then I stroke
Speaker 1: the side of his head so he feels it's like
Speaker 1: his mom's tongue. But now I have to like move
Speaker 1: it over to his mouth, like your mom's about to
Speaker 1: get funky with you, she's about to Are you into
Speaker 1: Are these two into the same thing? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: What are the odds? Wait? What is your daily interaction
Speaker 1: with Buzzy? I want to know as a cat owner,
Speaker 1: like how much are you seeing your cat? How much
Speaker 1: are you interacting with it? How like because dog owners,
Speaker 1: it's like you wake up, it's right away, dog time,
Speaker 1: gotta walk it, gotta feed it, gotta FuG in and
Speaker 1: talk to it. And then it's like throughout the day
Speaker 1: it's like a constant thing that you need to address.
Speaker 1: Now I'm wondering as a cat owner, like how much
Speaker 1: interaction on a good day do you have with Buzzy
Speaker 1: in terms of like maybe it's not a good or
Speaker 1: bad as negligible, it's just the what's the motion you have?
Speaker 1: Al okay, what's your routine? So the okay, So what
Speaker 1: we realized is get the cat on the cat feeder.
Speaker 1: So we have an automatic cat fever the feeder that
Speaker 1: goes off at like six in the morning, so he
Speaker 1: can so I don't have to go downstairs and feed him.
Speaker 1: Otherwise he would be like meowing all over the place
Speaker 1: because he's up and he's ready. Yes, So now what
Speaker 1: he does is after your figure out the cat feeder.
Speaker 1: Huh how did he figure it out? Like he probably
Speaker 1: thought like, there's no way I can get food without
Speaker 1: you being there. How did he realize this robot thing
Speaker 1: is get feeding me? Or did he just hear because
Speaker 1: it just it dispenses it and uh, like avy recorded
Speaker 1: a stupid thing that calls him. Okay, so on the
Speaker 1: cat feeder, it has that like it has a recording
Speaker 1: that goes like, yeah, so it's just like buzzy, Buzzy,
Speaker 1: come buzzy. Buzzy's stupid with the things that we call him.
Speaker 1: That's so cute. Okay, So he figured it out that way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then afterwards he he comes, he like zooms to
Speaker 1: our bedroom and he wants to play a little bit.
Speaker 1: And by that point I'm already awake because at six
Speaker 1: clean yeah, so it's like six six, like six oh five?
Speaker 1: What I I wake up? I have no choice, and
Speaker 1: then I feel bad. I'm like, oh, he just wants
Speaker 1: to play, So I take a wand that I like, well,
Speaker 1: hanging off the bed with your arm like kind of
Speaker 1: still lying, so it's like a stick, and I stick
Speaker 1: it underneath my mattress so I could just like literally
Speaker 1: put my arm down and just take it out of it.
Speaker 1: And then I just switched a little birdie around and
Speaker 1: he pounces it and jumps around and catches. It's really cute.
Speaker 1: And then once he's done with that, how long does
Speaker 1: that go on for? And do you decide when it's done?
Speaker 1: Or does he does? He literally go, I'm cool with
Speaker 1: this now, like a feeling. Animals are never done. No,
Speaker 1: he's Sometimes he holds you it like three times. Sometimes
Speaker 1: he'll want to do it more and three times. I
Speaker 1: keep click it one, two, three, like it's like yeah.
Speaker 1: And then he goes back down and he eats, and
Speaker 1: then he does his own little thing in the morning.
Speaker 1: But he just ate. I thought he doesn't know. He
Speaker 1: eats a little bit and it comes up once to
Speaker 1: feel like he's hunting. Then he goes back and eats
Speaker 1: the rest.
Speaker 2: He's got to know, you gotta earn it, got it, yes.
Speaker 1: And then he'll he'll come back up and he usually
Speaker 1: curll on this cat. I love that he's like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna save something for later, Like I don't know any
Speaker 1: animal that's just yeah.
Speaker 2: I need to hunt that bird first.
Speaker 1: That's what I I had to learn. Like cats are
Speaker 1: not at all like like dogs. Even if I put
Speaker 1: a treat in front of him, he doesn't just scarf it,
Speaker 1: like he can't find it, right, He like has to
Speaker 1: look for it. What wait, what do you mean you
Speaker 1: know how like a dog will just like inhale a
Speaker 1: treat and yes, so buzzy, Like I'll show him the
Speaker 1: tree and then I'll put it down and then he
Speaker 1: like can't find it on the floor right away. Is
Speaker 1: it because of his like eyes and perception like the
Speaker 1: cats don't can't see it, or he like playing games
Speaker 1: with it? No, No, he's not playing diet. I think
Speaker 1: he's watching his figure. I think he's he's having No,
Speaker 1: he's that's so cute, okay, And then what's the rest
Speaker 1: of the day of the interaction, and then you know,
Speaker 1: he'll have his like morning zoomies and then he pretty
Speaker 1: much sleeps the rest of the day and then in
Speaker 1: the evening it's pretty much the same routine around his
Speaker 1: meal time. So you just have to play with him
Speaker 1: like so it does and then when you're like sitting
Speaker 1: down and watching TV, are you petting him? Like? Is
Speaker 1: he is he around all the time? Like while you're editing,
Speaker 1: is he like coming up and rubbing out in your
Speaker 1: left and you kind of just touch him a little bit?
Speaker 1: Does he sit on your lap as he walked across
Speaker 1: your keyboard? Is he like he'll he'll do that, like
Speaker 1: just like just a touch. He just gives you a
Speaker 1: little bit during the day. I want a pet so
Speaker 1: fucking bad. I just want something to like try to
Speaker 1: like get my attention and love me. But it's hard.
Speaker 1: With the cat, you have a lot you have to
Speaker 1: have a lot of self control because they it's not
Speaker 1: like a dog where they'll take any kind of attention
Speaker 1: that you want to give them. They'll let you do
Speaker 1: it for a little bit and then they're over it,
Speaker 1: so you can't, Like I can't. I just want to
Speaker 1: like squeeze him so much, but he will not let
Speaker 1: the squeezes happen like he's yeah, they're aloof He just
Speaker 1: gives me a little Oh my god, Why do they
Speaker 1: do that? Why are cats so cool? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Cat is so hard to get. I don't get it.
Speaker 1: But it's is that the different? But do you ever
Speaker 1: get to cuddle with him to the degree that you
Speaker 1: would like to, Oh, to the degree that I would
Speaker 1: like to know. No, it's never gonna last that long,
Speaker 1: and he will like fight and claw to get away
Speaker 1: if you want it longer. He never claws in a
Speaker 1: way where it hurts me. It's just almost like a
Speaker 1: little bit of a warning. Like, Okay, I'm sorry so
Speaker 1: many dumb cat questions. But when you enter into your home,
Speaker 1: does he greet you? Is there like, yes, I'm excited
Speaker 1: to see you like and then like a cat? No,
Speaker 1: not even for a second, because I don't want to
Speaker 1: get that weird microbe that like gets in your body
Speaker 1: if you have cats, like you get a you get
Speaker 1: a bacteria.
Speaker 2: Well if it's in the cat's urine that makes you,
Speaker 2: uh crazy, Just.
Speaker 1: Make Chris clean the litter box. No, we don't know,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: No, it's like you're still again.
Speaker 1: I don't want I just that idea of that back
Speaker 1: to I probably still I probably already have it because
Speaker 1: I've been around cats before, But I just the idea
Speaker 1: that they could give me something I don't already have.
Speaker 1: I don't like that, and it just it kind of
Speaker 1: it makes me think of like a little worm going
Speaker 1: like through my brain. I just it makes me feel weird,
Speaker 1: but I do. And yes, I'm thinking about getting a
Speaker 1: bird or I was even thinking about getting a Hamsters
Speaker 1: or like something easy. But I do have a dog
Speaker 1: that is seven years old whose owner died at the
Speaker 1: age of thirty two. I don't know the circumstances, but
Speaker 1: it was just surrendered and it's very confused, and it's
Speaker 1: seven years old, so it has another half of its
Speaker 1: life to live. It's like middle aged. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: it's so sweet, and so I might get to see that.
Speaker 1: I'm going to LA. I'm presenting at the Emmy Awards,
Speaker 1: the Creative Arts Emmy Awards, let me be specific. It
Speaker 1: will be airing on FXX on January tenth, I think.
Speaker 1: But I'm shooting it on January seventh, which is my
Speaker 1: sister's birthday.
Speaker 2: And you know, we almost want a Creative Arts Emmy.
Speaker 1: We did for Not Safe Digital.
Speaker 2: Team Not Save Digital Team.
Speaker 1: Brian Randi had to present to the Emmy Society with
Speaker 1: me and Zoe, Yeah, Zoe Clark.
Speaker 2: We both had to present to the Emmy Committee, and
Speaker 2: we did not know what we were getting into I
Speaker 2: can't even imagine the people that were in that room.
Speaker 2: There was it's like twelve people in that room. They
Speaker 2: were probably so much more important than I, even than
Speaker 2: I realized at the time. But me and Zoe had
Speaker 2: to go in there and do a little presentation. We
Speaker 2: did a fine job with the presentation. It was. It
Speaker 2: was just a little naive because when we got there,
Speaker 2: we were like, Okay, I think we might have a
Speaker 2: shot at this. You know, it's either us or at midnight, right,
Speaker 2: And there was a presentation going on in the room
Speaker 2: before us, And when they finished, the presenter exited the room,
Speaker 2: and then it was like our turner was like going
Speaker 2: in for a job interview. Guess I don't know if
Speaker 2: Nicky probably knows the answer, but guess who walked out
Speaker 2: of the room who presented right before us Me and
Speaker 2: Zoe two no name digital producers who walked out of
Speaker 2: the room. I mean Chris Hardwick, Joseph Gordon Levitt was
Speaker 2: the one to present right before us. So he does
Speaker 2: his thing, he's presenting about some band thing he was doing.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I think record Joe yeah.
Speaker 2: And then Brian and Zoe come in after Joseph Gordon Levit,
Speaker 2: My god, that we deserve a creative arts semi for
Speaker 2: making snapchats about pussys.
Speaker 1: Oh god, there's those moments in life where you go,
Speaker 1: I am in over my head and I don't belong here.
Speaker 2: And I had no idea. I bet you like Shonda
Speaker 2: Rhymes was in that room or something. I didn't even
Speaker 2: know who any of the people were because they were
Speaker 2: so Were you nervous or were That's the thing. We
Speaker 2: weren't that nervous because we didn't want the well we
Speaker 2: were getting into. We didn't know Joseph Gordon Levitt was
Speaker 2: going to be presenting, and we didn't know who.
Speaker 1: We All of those people have that day as the
Speaker 1: last day, the day on the last day of their
Speaker 1: life where they have to go back and watch that
Speaker 1: day and they have don't rewatch your presentation and jose
Speaker 1: Gordon Levitz, which I'm sure.
Speaker 2: Was yes, that the guy who made that presentation is
Speaker 2: the same guy who blew up all those buildings in Oklahoma,
Speaker 2: or whatever we want. I was creating a scenario where
Speaker 2: I became a terrorist and then they had to rewatch it.
Speaker 1: Work out, Oklahoma, did you finish them?
Speaker 2: I run out of steam? Uh do you want to update?
Speaker 2: Kirsten texted back what you say? She said, Hi Brian,
Speaker 2: which I don't know. I guess you told her that.
Speaker 2: I texted yea.
Speaker 1: I said, you just got to write a text from
Speaker 1: Brian Frangie.
Speaker 2: Okay, Hi Brian, Yes, sure thing. Just come by tomorrow
Speaker 2: and bring the car.
Speaker 1: She's great. Yeah, she said, maybe I'll be getting a
Speaker 1: car today. I'll stay safe in the car. She said
Speaker 1: to me. Bah ha ha ha haa lol. Podcast. Yes,
Speaker 1: she'll hear this. She listens to the pod, so I
Speaker 1: like that she'll hear herself being texted on the pod.
Speaker 1: I was just about to say, oh, can I just
Speaker 1: say I watched the movie May December on Netflix.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah, it's so bad.
Speaker 1: I cannot believe.
Speaker 2: Oh no, they're hoping. They're hoping that's an award winner?
Speaker 1: Are you joking me?
Speaker 2: That's like their big play for to win awards is made.
Speaker 1: Well, they've got this star power in it. And that's
Speaker 1: not to say that Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore didn't
Speaker 1: do an amazing job in those roles, but that fucking movie. Besties,
Speaker 1: who have seen it? Are you with me? Were you
Speaker 1: satisfied with that ending? Spoiler alert, It's a bad ending.
Speaker 1: It gives you fucking nothing. It's it ends in the
Speaker 1: middle of it, like there's no feeling you get at
Speaker 1: the end of it. I kind of like movies that
Speaker 1: Levia hanging, don't. I don't hate it. I don't hate
Speaker 1: a movie going against like what a movie should do
Speaker 1: and give you some kind of, uh, you know, concluding
Speaker 1: moment of like, oh, thank god they got together. I
Speaker 1: like movies where people don't end up together. I love
Speaker 1: Romeo and Juliet where they both fucking die at the end.
Speaker 1: I love that shit. But this is just nothing happens.
Speaker 1: It's so dumb and artsy. Julian Moore gave the character
Speaker 1: a lisp because in the movie, Julian Moore plays a
Speaker 1: woman who had an affair with her student, a Mary
Speaker 1: Kayla turn This is basically the story of Mary Kayla Turno,
Speaker 1: who had an affair with her sixth grade student and
Speaker 1: and then yeah, hell yeah, and then had his baby
Speaker 1: and everything. So this is this woman. She is now
Speaker 1: living with this man that she had an affair with,
Speaker 1: but now he is my age and she is much older,
Speaker 1: and they have kids together. And they are like they
Speaker 1: live in this community and Nally Portman is going to
Speaker 1: play her in a movie. And so Nalie Portman is
Speaker 1: this actress that comes out to follow her around and
Speaker 1: like study her life. And Julian Moore gave the character
Speaker 1: a lisp so that Natalie Portman would have something to
Speaker 1: do pretty much, but she gave her a lisp. Halfway
Speaker 1: through the movie. Suddenly Chris and I are watching this
Speaker 1: and we go, does she have a lisp? We go,
Speaker 1: what you can tell that, like she may have. Maybe
Speaker 1: they shot the scene that we're talking about where the
Speaker 1: lisp comes out maybe first, And then she goes, oh,
Speaker 1: this is a little much. I'm gonna lay off it
Speaker 1: for the rest of the movie. And then but it's
Speaker 1: so strong from halfway through the movie, maybe three quarters
Speaker 1: of the movie, and then till the end it's like
Speaker 1: I sahly like that pronounce and it is not noticeable
Speaker 1: even before that. So then Noli A. Portman is really
Speaker 1: getting into characters, so she starts doing it a lot.
Speaker 1: It's really that's really weird. Even though it's a good
Speaker 1: choice had it been consistent, I just think that it
Speaker 1: was a weird choice to have it show up halfway through.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm the only one that only noticed it halfway through,
Speaker 1: but I know I'm not because Chris also only noticed
Speaker 1: it halfway through, and we both looked at each other
Speaker 1: at the same time and go, what was that? What
Speaker 1: did she just say? Why does she have a list?
Speaker 1: What's going on? Like? Did maybe she had a tooth
Speaker 1: operation that day she saw this the scene? Nope, it's
Speaker 1: in all the other scenes too. After that, also, it's
Speaker 1: what else did I have? There's the ending is dumb.
Speaker 1: Oh oh my god. The music, My god, the music.
Speaker 1: It takes itself so seriously throughout the movie. There is
Speaker 1: this piano that goes like bang bang bang bang bang
Speaker 1: bong bing like but it is so over done and
Speaker 1: every scene at first you think it's funny, like they're
Speaker 1: making fun of like a movie that does that. It
Speaker 1: was whoever did the movie Deep Water? I go, there
Speaker 1: has to be this person did this movie too, because
Speaker 1: it is so taking itself too seriously. But it's not
Speaker 1: that good. And let me just say, I've never written
Speaker 1: a movie. So if you were watching this, if someone
Speaker 1: in your life send this to you and you're part
Speaker 1: of the movie, that is a bad friend who sent
Speaker 1: this to you, who like sends you criticism of your movie.
Speaker 1: So you should get that friend out of your life
Speaker 1: if you were watching this and someone told you to
Speaker 1: watch it. Also, i have no idea what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: I've never made a movie. I've never written a movie.
Speaker 1: A movie I would write would probably be horrible. I
Speaker 1: probably would. I definitely would use better music. The irony
Speaker 1: is in the movie that Natalie Portman is making. Within
Speaker 1: the movie, right, Julianne Moore's son is like this kind
Speaker 1: of guy that he was a son from her first marriage,
Speaker 1: and he's like, yeah, my mom's fucking she blew up
Speaker 1: our family man. And he's kind of like looks like
Speaker 1: machine gun Kelly, and he's kind of like a rebel,
Speaker 1: and he's talking to Naalie Portman's character and he threatens.
Speaker 1: Natalie Portman's character goes, you know, I could go to
Speaker 1: the press about you and my mom and ruin this
Speaker 1: whole movie, unless, of course, you hire me. As you know,
Speaker 1: I was looking into movies and I heard there's a
Speaker 1: thing called a musical director. And he's like in a
Speaker 1: fucking cover band, and so he's like, find he's musical.
Speaker 1: So he's like so I heard there's this job called
Speaker 1: musical director. I was thinking, maybe you get me in
Speaker 1: that job in that movie. Maybe I can make these
Speaker 1: allegations disappear. And she's like, I'll see if what I
Speaker 1: can do. I guess she was practicing the list at
Speaker 1: that point, so she didn't have the list made, but
Speaker 1: she did in December, exactly me December, and so she uh.
Speaker 1: But then the irony is they need a different music.
Speaker 1: They should have hired that guy for this movie because
Speaker 1: this bang bong bang. You guys have got to watch
Speaker 1: it just so you hear this music. Because it's so comical.
Speaker 2: Art movie bullshit. Oh it is so that one wants
Speaker 2: and then wins all the awards it awards.
Speaker 1: I'm out of Hollywood. I am leaving. I'm not joking you.
Speaker 1: If this is what is considered to be an amazing movie,
Speaker 1: I'm done. I can't do it anymore. I can't pretend
Speaker 1: like this shit is good. Natalie Portman's incredible, She's a
Speaker 1: great actress. She has to do at one point simulate
Speaker 1: having sex with a teenager in a pet shop. She's
Speaker 1: literally like humping the air, like like simulating what it
Speaker 1: would be like to fuck a teenager because she goes
Speaker 1: to the pet shop where the woman had an affair
Speaker 1: with the teen and got caught, and so she goes
Speaker 1: to the pet shop and she's like, can I just
Speaker 1: look around a little bit? And I love in movies
Speaker 1: whenever someone's investigating something and it's at an old like
Speaker 1: hardware store in the back room, they just let the
Speaker 1: journalists go in by themselves, like the guy doesn't stay
Speaker 1: there with them. They're just like, yeah, look around, you know,
Speaker 1: make yourself at home. And it's like, this is the
Speaker 1: back of a pet shop of a working business. You're
Speaker 1: just letting this actress into. So then she sits down
Speaker 1: in the corner and just starts humping the air and
Speaker 1: I looked at Chris and I go, this is one
Speaker 1: of the most embarrassing things I've ever had to watch
Speaker 1: in my life. Is this girl? Natalie Portman a beloved,
Speaker 1: amazing actress. Black Swan, Where the Heart Is, other movies,
Speaker 1: Star Wars, Star Wars.
Speaker 2: She's been in Marvel and.
Speaker 1: Star the What's that one movie where she played a
Speaker 1: little girl and it was kind of like flirty with
Speaker 1: the older man? Yeah that one? Yeah, the professional Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: this is our Natalie Portman and you're putting her in this.
Speaker 1: It just doesn't It's just it's not a good place
Speaker 1: to be. Movies aren't cutting it from This is why
Speaker 1: I don't see movies anymore. All I want to see
Speaker 1: is concert footage at movies. Now I just want to
Speaker 1: go see Beyonce. I want to go see live events
Speaker 1: at movies.
Speaker 2: Because there's still good movies.
Speaker 1: Sure there are.
Speaker 2: Oh I'm sure they're not Marvel movies. Those have jumped.
Speaker 1: This is in need either. I need people to watch
Speaker 1: my December besties. Will you write to me about made us?
Speaker 1: I loved Barbie. That's a good point. Loved Barbie. Bessie's
Speaker 1: write to me good movies to watch. By the way,
Speaker 1: I watched my favorite movie the other day and I
Speaker 1: watched it with Chris. It was put out in twenty
Speaker 1: twenty and it is the best movie I've ever seen
Speaker 1: in my life. I've watched it seven times and it
Speaker 1: is this is how you make a fucking movie. And
Speaker 1: it's called The Worst Person in the World. It's on
Speaker 1: Hulu for free. It is a Norwegian film and it
Speaker 1: is incredible. This movie May December. If you disagree with me,
Speaker 1: I am not gonna hate you. I want to hear
Speaker 1: why you think this movie is good. I cannot believe
Speaker 1: anyone would walk away from this and think if this
Speaker 1: wins Awards. I'm not kidding you. I will leave Hollywood.
Speaker 1: I'm done. I will watch it away and I will
Speaker 1: start a pet store where an old woman will have
Speaker 1: sex with the teenager in the back room. I really will.
Speaker 1: It will be a pet storre tell pets, but it'll.
Speaker 2: Be weirdane without headphones on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, you don't watch it without. You watch it
Speaker 1: without heaphens because you keep the headphones plugged in, but
Speaker 1: you take them out of your ears. Because this is
Speaker 1: a movie best watched just watching actresses act without the
Speaker 1: sound coming out of their mouth, which is a list
Speaker 1: that they choose halfway through the film. Even though I
Speaker 1: love Julian Moore, she kissed me once on a red carpet.
Speaker 1: Speaking of a red carpet, it was a red carpet
Speaker 1: for a Judge Cord Lovett film called what was the One?
Speaker 1: He wrote about the porn addiction Don Juan It was awesome.
Speaker 1: That's a great movie. Scarlett Johanson is also in it.
Speaker 1: I don't know why Julianmore was there but she was there.
Speaker 1: Maybe she's in the movie. She kissed me on a
Speaker 1: red carpet on the lips. It was amazing. It was
Speaker 1: during nickin Serah Live. We're interviewing people in the red
Speaker 1: carpet and she just went in for it. We were
Speaker 1: doing a bit and she is the coolest. I love
Speaker 1: both those actresses. Listen, I've been in shitty things too,
Speaker 1: and this is just one of those things, and maybe
Speaker 1: it changed my mind. If you made me December, if
Speaker 1: you have anything to do with it, I am so sorry.
Speaker 1: I've made a shitty things too. It's okay. We're allowed
Speaker 1: to make mistakes.
Speaker 2: Bing bang bing.
Speaker 1: Bing bong, bing bong. Please just go listen to it.
Speaker 1: Just pull it up. The first minute you hear the
Speaker 1: bing bong bing bong, and that same music goes throughout
Speaker 1: the movie. It's so funny. I love it. I think
Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch it again. Honestly, it might be a
Speaker 1: good sum all right, guys, I gotta go. At first,
Speaker 1: I thought it might be a comedy about movies like this,
Speaker 1: but no, it was just this movie. It was probably
Speaker 1: written by Ai to be honest with you, gotta go.
Speaker 1: Thank you for enjoying the show, we will see you
Speaker 1: in the new year. Can't wait to see you then,
Speaker 1: don't be good and happy news. Oh, come see me
Speaker 1: in this this weekend in Denver, Sunday and Monday. I
Speaker 1: believe New Year's Eve and New Year's Eveve. I might
Speaker 1: have those days confused, but it's New Year's EVEVE and
Speaker 1: New Year's Eve December thirtieth and thirty first at the Paramount.
Speaker 1: I will see you their besties can't wait to see you.
Speaker 2: Can you believe that twenty twenty four was the best
Speaker 2: year of all three of.
Speaker 1: Our live I can't believe that twenty twenty four was
Speaker 1: the best year of all of our lives creatively, personally, emotionally,
Speaker 1: health physically. Oh, I can't believe it. All that Toothpaine
Speaker 1: you had in twenty twenty three, it evaporated in twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four. And I can't.
Speaker 2: Believe almost instantly too, which is crazy. It was like
Speaker 2: just that calendar term incredible.
Speaker 1: And I can't believe I'm gonna win that Emmy for
Speaker 1: that's for the special I mean, I can't believe I
Speaker 1: want it already in the future. That's so wild that
Speaker 1: we believe.
Speaker 2: I hope with the creative arts means you don't have
Speaker 2: to introduce something for May December.
Speaker 1: This is going to come back to bite me. I
Speaker 1: just feel, but I just want to reiterate I do
Speaker 1: bad things too. Okay, We're all allowed to do bad things,
Speaker 1: and bad things are more interesting than good things. So
Speaker 1: thank you for being ying me. Okay, all right, guys,
Speaker 1: thank you for listening to podcasts, and we'll see you
Speaker 1: next year. Don't be good, just have a great new year.