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Speaker 1: Swine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we are back and it's been a very eventful,

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Speaker 2: eventful a few weeks.

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Speaker 3: We went from the the White Sandy Beaches and Tacoy's

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Speaker 3: Water of the Bahamas to the the college town of Morgantown,

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Speaker 3: West Virginia, all in the space of twelve weevels unexpectedly

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Speaker 3: in a good way. There's just a it's just another

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Speaker 3: indictment of her crazy lives and how you have to

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Speaker 3: be adaptable and be able to pivot all the time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So we're sitting at dinner on Sunday night after.

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Speaker 2: So we get in Sunday around four.

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Speaker 3: We're on the beach by four. Yea, on the beach

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Speaker 3: by four, had nice lunch, Go for dinner. Your phone rings?

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Speaker 2: No, I get a text.

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Speaker 4: I was a text Fosters.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're at dinner, which I never checked my I

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Speaker 2: don't like phones at the table. I mean, the kids

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Speaker 2: know that anytime you ever try to grab your phone,

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Speaker 2: Jolie always comes and takes it and she's like, Alan,

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Speaker 2: no phones at the table.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 5: But the moment is really my favorite role.

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Speaker 3: It's a really better sweet moment for you because you

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Speaker 3: get the phone call that you've been offered at the

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Speaker 3: last minute movie, but you're also managing the emotions of

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Speaker 3: being desperate for a vacation for seven to eight months

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Speaker 3: and now we need to leave Ellie as in the

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Speaker 3: next day, I.

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Speaker 2: Think it was well, so the text came in and said,

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Speaker 2: you're about to get an offer. So most of the

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Speaker 2: times it's not that last minute, it's you have a

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Speaker 2: couple of weeks to kind of gather your things and

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Speaker 2: thoughts and prepare, and so this was you're getting offer,

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Speaker 2: and then the offer came in about twenty minutes later,

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Speaker 2: and then it was you and you need to be

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Speaker 2: in Morgantown on Wednesday.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, you need to memorize all of these lanes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm like, I'm in the Bahamas. And I

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Speaker 2: didn't tell anybody because you know, it was only going

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Speaker 2: to be three nights anyways to begin with. So it

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Speaker 2: was just one of those where I'm like, I, yeah,

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Speaker 2: we're going and what I mean, that's never happened. The

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Speaker 2: only time that I got offered something was you know,

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Speaker 2: during the honeymoon time last year for that Christmas movie,

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Speaker 2: And obviously I wasn't going to say no to our

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Speaker 2: honeymoon that we had planned and booked and everything. So

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Speaker 2: with this it was had. I really struggled with it.

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Speaker 2: I mean like massive, like just a big struggle because

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Speaker 2: I really value our time together and it was something

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Speaker 2: where I didn't want you to think that I was

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Speaker 2: choosing something over because I am. How I reflect on

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Speaker 2: things is unfortunately I go to what are they choosing

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Speaker 2: over me? And so that's where my brain always goes to.

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Speaker 2: So that's the unhealthy piece that sometimes that I can

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Speaker 2: go to. Now I've obviously worked on that and gotten

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Speaker 2: better with that, but I kept being like, I don't

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Speaker 2: want you to think that I'm choosing this over our

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Speaker 2: time together because I know how important our time is together.

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Speaker 2: But it was really I mean, you were you were

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Speaker 2: the one that was like, you're doing this, like stop

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Speaker 2: thinking about it. So I'm like, I don't know if

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Speaker 2: I'm going to do it. I don't know, I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't want to ruin our our trip.

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Speaker 3: Well, I think I think my single mindedness, single mindedness

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Speaker 3: when it comes to career stuff, helped you in this

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Speaker 3: occasion because, in my opinion, when those type of authors

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Speaker 3: come up and the type of rule that it was,

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Speaker 3: the narrative, the character of everything. There was no way

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Speaker 3: that we were staying in the Bahamas. And you didn't

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Speaker 3: take that in my eyes that say, Okay, the role

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Speaker 3: is good. It's good for future things and future projects,

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Speaker 3: what you'll get from it. You've not played that type

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Speaker 3: of character before. It's an absolute no brainer. Money aside,

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Speaker 3: every from the side is an absolute no brainer. So

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Speaker 3: for me, I was never ever but heart about having

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Speaker 3: it leaves the Bahamas because you get a movie. Ever,

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Speaker 3: at any point, if anything, I was like, Okay, let's go,

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Speaker 3: let's do it, because that's what we have to do.

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Speaker 2: M It was just very supportive and I appreciated your

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Speaker 2: support in that moment.

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Speaker 3: No, he didn't know. He still struggled. Yeah, he cried

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Speaker 3: every hour on the hour. I did not what we

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Speaker 3: got one full day, which was amazing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was great.

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Speaker 4: You beat me a pickle ball.

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Speaker 2: I did, But I think you're being nice to me

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Speaker 2: with that, But I yeah, we did. We So we

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Speaker 2: ended up enjoying a beautiful one day there, and I

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Speaker 2: kept saying to you the next the day that we

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Speaker 2: were our next full day that we were supposed to have.

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Speaker 2: It was windy and a little colder, so I just

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Speaker 2: kept saying, oh babe, I mean like this is like

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Speaker 2: we would have had a bad day anyways today, Like

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Speaker 2: it wouldn't have really been like a beach day. It's

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Speaker 2: just you know, really windy and like we would have

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Speaker 2: had to have stayed indoors like I had to. I

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Speaker 2: had to validate why leaving a day early was a

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Speaker 2: good thing.

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Speaker 3: What's there telling ourselves stories as were there? That's the

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Speaker 3: only way are you and I mean everyone in general,

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Speaker 3: especially when there's a SNARTI O, but other people haven't

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Speaker 3: this sacrifice and you feel guilt but you don't have to.

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Speaker 4: It was it was a no brainer, and you wanted

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Speaker 4: to paddle boat, so.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that was the whole thing too. I really

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Speaker 2: wanted to paddleboard, and you're like, you're not paddleboarding And

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Speaker 2: I couldn't anyways because it was it was so chalky,

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Speaker 2: so windy in the Bahamas, so I mean we were

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Speaker 2: it was forty plus mile power winds, so they they

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Speaker 2: wouldn't even let anybody go in there. But you were saying,

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Speaker 2: even if it wasn't, You're like, you're not going in

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Speaker 2: there becausen't the shore. But then we came home and

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Speaker 2: then flew to Morgantown, grabbed the kids.

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Speaker 3: Didn't really come home for a couple hours.

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Speaker 4: Unpacked, packed, and go out again, and.

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Speaker 2: Then we went to Morgantown and I was we were

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Speaker 2: in Morgantown for gas lit and it was I gotta say,

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Speaker 2: I really enjoyed Morgantown this go around.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 2: Granted it was only for a week, so it was

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Speaker 2: two weeks less than the last movie, but I liked

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Speaker 2: the airbnb we were at better, and location was The

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Speaker 2: location was great. It was good for the kids. You

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Speaker 2: were able to walk around, and so I did. I

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Speaker 2: did enjoy that piece. And then we traveled back. A

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Speaker 2: little debacle at the airport. But that's the point that

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Speaker 2: I don't know, it was actually really triggering. I don't

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Speaker 2: even know if I can like talk.

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Speaker 5: About it really yeah, Okay, well don't.

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Speaker 2: This is where Hannah's like talk about it.

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Speaker 4: I think we were a bit on fear on you.

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Speaker 4: I mean, we don't need to talk about it, but

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Speaker 4: if it's going to trigger.

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Speaker 2: You, then well I'll just say those searches. The lady

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Speaker 2: was a little aggressive with the pat down situation. Because

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Speaker 2: we got flagged and it triggered something in me that

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Speaker 2: I didn't I mean, I had a little good moment there.

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Speaker 2: It is they're very like, I understand, people are doing

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Speaker 2: their job, but there is an a way to do it.

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Speaker 2: There's a way to do it. And I've and I've

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Speaker 2: had the search before, but I mean it was so

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Speaker 2: much where I jumped when she put her hands, I

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Speaker 2: mean it was like, I mean, very aggressive. And then

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Speaker 2: I've never had them pull out my pants like she

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Speaker 2: had to. She literally like most of time they just

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Speaker 2: kind of touched like the top of it. She pulled

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Speaker 2: them open and pulled. I was like, please stop, like

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Speaker 2: this is like you're doing this is too much. It

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Speaker 2: was I did not like it, and it was triggered

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Speaker 2: a situation from a long, long, long, long long time ago,

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Speaker 2: and it was not It was not good. But the

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Speaker 2: other lady had witnessed it, had pulled me aside and

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Speaker 2: she was like, you know, maybe next time asked for

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Speaker 2: a private room.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, she said that to me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and if that happens again, then absolutely, but.

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Speaker 2: That again, that's happened before and she was not that

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Speaker 2: it's yeah, anyways, I just I understand again everyone is

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Speaker 2: doing their job, but sometimes it can just be I

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Speaker 2: wish it was just always the same. That's the thing

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Speaker 2: with anything.

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Speaker 4: I think it's definitely if it's like a.

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Speaker 3: Big meal, and then you've got justification to be a

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Speaker 3: little bit rough for a bit. When it's when it's a woman,

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Speaker 3: particularly it's a woman that's doing the selch as well,

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Speaker 3: I think they'll be a little bit more self awallness

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Speaker 3: around that.

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Speaker 2: I think, again, everyone's just doing their job, but if

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Speaker 2: everyone could be doing it the same way, it would

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Speaker 2: be really nice. Because that was that time was felt

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Speaker 2: a little too aggressive and it was very uncomfortable and

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Speaker 2: very triggering.

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Speaker 3: But you had the good week, movie went well, took

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Speaker 3: the kids to a nice hotel to break it up.

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Speaker 4: So been another one in the big and.

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Speaker 2: Now back to stressing about the next one. But when

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Speaker 2: it comes to our kids, and you know, I've dealt

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Speaker 2: with anxiety since I was nineteen, and I'm really really

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Speaker 2: excited to get our next guest on because well, our

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Speaker 2: next two guests they wrote a book called Raising Calm

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Speaker 2: Kids in a World of Worry. Tools to ease anxiety

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Speaker 2: and overwhelm and it's something that I'm just I cannot

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Speaker 2: wait to talk to them about that, because I believe

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Speaker 2: both my kids, Joli and Jace, have some anxiety, and

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Speaker 2: I don't know if part of that's from me and

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Speaker 2: what I've projected on to them in situations.

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Speaker 5: But this is.

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Speaker 2: A straight to cart purchase, so I'm excited to read

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Speaker 2: this book and get them on.

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Speaker 4: Hello.

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Speaker 5: Hi, Hello, I'm Ashley. Hi Ashley, him Alan, Thanks to

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Speaker 5: meet you, Janna.

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Speaker 6: Hi Channa, Hi Alan, Nice to meet you, vote thanks

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Speaker 6: for having us.

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Speaker 2: Of course, one of the reasons I'm really excited to

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Speaker 2: chat with you are my nine and six year old.

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Speaker 2: There I see times of anxiousness and sometimes I was

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Speaker 2: just saying to Alan, I don't know what piece of

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Speaker 2: that is from my projected anxiety with certain things and

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Speaker 2: what is there's just from the world that we live in.

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Speaker 2: I know my son's anxiety I think stemmed from he

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Speaker 2: has a SPD, so that sensory processing disorder, so more

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Speaker 2: more anxious. But also with COVID, he we had to

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Speaker 2: be stuck in the house right so when he was

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Speaker 2: two at that time, and then when he when we

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Speaker 2: started to go out, he would be like home home, home,

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Speaker 2: home home. For a year. We had to take I

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Speaker 2: would just take him out just for five ten minute

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Speaker 2: increments because he would just scream to go back home,

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Speaker 2: because it's like, oh, he almost just got used to

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Speaker 2: just comfort was at the house. And luckily we were

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Speaker 2: able to break that piece of it. But I now

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Speaker 2: see it, you know, and within my daughter, and you know,

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Speaker 2: we took them on a little hike in the woods

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Speaker 2: and she's like, but I'm afraid we're going to get

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Speaker 2: lost in this, and it's like, I'm like, just take

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Speaker 2: a breath, like You're going to be fine. And I use,

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Speaker 2: you know, the call map for them at times, and

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Speaker 2: just other techniques and tools that I've you know, used

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Speaker 2: for my anxiety. But what I guess the first question

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Speaker 2: is where do you think the rise and anxiety has

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Speaker 2: come from four kids? Because I don't. I don't. I mean,

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Speaker 2: it didn't affect me until nineteen. I didn't. I didn't

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Speaker 2: even know really what it was until I had my

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Speaker 2: first panic attack. So why the rise?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I think you touched on it, Jana a little bit.

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Speaker 6: That COVID definitely has something to do with it. There's

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Speaker 6: a lot more stimuli that children are taking in these days.

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Speaker 6: We at social media is such a big conversation, and

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Speaker 6: there's a lot more things happening in the world as

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Speaker 6: we all know, and so and kids are aware of it.

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Speaker 6: And I think there's also an aspect of it that

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Speaker 6: there's there's more knowledge around it. You made mention that

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Speaker 6: you know, it didn't come up for you until nineteen.

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Speaker 6: Marie and I talk about often that when we were kids,

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Speaker 6: nobody was talking about it. Nobody was really mentioning that

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Speaker 6: there was possibly anxiety and or that there were tools

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Speaker 6: being offered for it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. The other thing is there's just so much more

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Speaker 1: pressure to parent properly or perfectly these days. You know

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Speaker 1: that between Instagram and books and just more awareness in parents,

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Speaker 1: there's parents are under a tremendous amount of pressure that

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Speaker 1: is different than before, and so that impacts things as.

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Speaker 3: Well, you think, because people have so much knowledge now.

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Speaker 3: And I'll be honest, I didn't know about anxiety until

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Speaker 3: I was in my thirties late thirties. I had heard

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Speaker 3: performance anxiety because I was a professional soccer player, but

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Speaker 3: in the outside world, it never even occurred to me

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Speaker 3: about anxiety or panic attacks. It's just who I was.

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Speaker 3: But because people have the knowledge of what anxiety is now,

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Speaker 3: do you think people are almost self diagnosing themselves, say what,

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Speaker 3: I suffer from anxiety, when realistically they probably don't. They

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Speaker 3: just don't react well to situations. I don't have the

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Speaker 3: tools in place to deal with them, so they thought

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Speaker 3: they call it anxiety. And believe me, I would not

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Speaker 3: want to be a kid growing up in this culture,

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Speaker 3: in this world right now when I look at my

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Speaker 3: seventeen year old son who Snapchat, Instagram, WhatsApp, and if

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Speaker 3: people want to attack you know they can attack you

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Speaker 3: from so many different angles.

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Speaker 4: Snapchat, they know your location.

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Speaker 3: Is and you're just becoming ammersed in a world where

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Speaker 3: everyone has an opinion and as kids like, kids are

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Speaker 3: so nasty because they don't have a filter a lot

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Speaker 3: of the time, do they They don't have the self

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Speaker 3: awareness built helping themselves.

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Speaker 4: So I think there's two angles to that.

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Speaker 3: I think there's the angle that there's people are more

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Speaker 3: knowledgeable about it, but now because of the knowledge and

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Speaker 3: where they get the knowledge from social media, they can

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Speaker 3: be attacked from so many different places.

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Speaker 1: At the same time, I think you're spot on, and

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Speaker 1: it's a great question. In our book, we use worry, anxiety,

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Speaker 1: and stress interchangeably for a reason which is that we

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Speaker 1: want people to know that anxiety is a natural state

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Speaker 1: that comes up when you are in a scenario that's

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Speaker 1: either new or difficult, or perhaps reminds you of something

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Speaker 1: that made you anxious before, right, and kids are they

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Speaker 1: are more brutal with each other, and it is it's

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Speaker 1: hard enough to just navigate that social scene as a child,

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Speaker 1: and then on top of that, navigate everything that's pressuring

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Speaker 1: them now in the world, you know, and to be

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Speaker 1: on screens and social media and be exposed to the

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Speaker 1: news constantly. So there's a lot that they're facing.

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Speaker 6: As therapist and coaches, we have people who come to

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Speaker 6: us with a They'll say like I was on TikTok

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Speaker 6: or something and I am diagnosed as this or this

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Speaker 6: is the or they'll use the words anxiety or depression

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Speaker 6: and it's not clinical necessarily in some cases, of course

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Speaker 6: it is, but you know, to you the point of

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Speaker 6: people are coming to us with these names and we

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Speaker 6: have to parse out is it really anxiety or is

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Speaker 6: it what we would say is sort of normal, normal

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Speaker 6: worry happening for a child.

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Speaker 1: Orry.

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Speaker 2: How do you differentiate between the two worry and anxiety

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Speaker 2: with kids?

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Speaker 1: So what we look at is the difference between typical

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Speaker 1: worry and anxiety, and then anxiety that rises to a

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Speaker 1: diagnosable level. Right Like you might have heard of something

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Speaker 1: called generalized anxiety disorder and it doesn't really you know,

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Speaker 1: for a lot of kids, they experience it, but it

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Speaker 1: doesn't rise to that level. How we know it may

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Speaker 1: be there is often if it gets in the way

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Speaker 1: of daily life, so they're really having trouble separating from

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Speaker 1: you for a long time, maybe they're waking up having

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Speaker 1: trouble sleeping on their own, and really daily life. So

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Speaker 1: we look at getting to school, going to activities. If

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Speaker 1: a child really wants to go to that pl date

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Speaker 1: but then is totally struck in freeze and can't go,

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Speaker 1: and you might even see tantrums or things like that

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Speaker 1: that could be anxiety that you'd want to take them

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Speaker 1: to a therapist for potentially, or do some parent coaching

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Speaker 1: at least to start.

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Speaker 2: How do you balance being there for them versus He

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Speaker 2: always says like, don't molly coddle them, you know, don't,

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Speaker 2: So what is what's the balance there? Because you know,

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Speaker 2: I think kind of looking back on, you know, my upbringing,

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Speaker 2: or even just because I don't want them to feel

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Speaker 2: a certain because I know they're anxious, but I also

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Speaker 2: want them to face the fear of things to know

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Speaker 2: that they'll be okay. So where's the balance and how

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Speaker 2: do you do that?

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Speaker 6: It's we talk about this actually in the book, that

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Speaker 6: there's oftentimes moments where you're going to need to have

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Speaker 6: boundaries around doing different things, and like morning and evening time,

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Speaker 6: that tends to be kind of what we call them witching.

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Speaker 6: It's more difficult, and that there is tools that you

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Speaker 6: can give and Janney, you brought this up earlier, that

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Speaker 6: there are tools you can give to kids and the

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Speaker 6: being there for them actually is part of what the

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Speaker 6: method that we teach that if a child feels like

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Speaker 6: they can come to you and they can tell you

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Speaker 6: what's going on and they feel safe to do that,

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Speaker 6: then it is okay to push a little bit because

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Speaker 6: they know that they're they've got that safe place to

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Speaker 6: come back to in you, and there the pushing. I

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Speaker 6: think what ends up happening is that we actually don't

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Speaker 6: do it. Kind of like you said, you don't want

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Speaker 6: them to feel upset or you don't want them to

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Speaker 6: feel scared, and the feelings are actually all okay. To

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Speaker 6: have and so if we're allowing those feelings, then we

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Speaker 6: can kind of push in a way to say, I

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Speaker 6: know you can do this, and I know you can

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Speaker 6: and I'm here to support you and be with you

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Speaker 6: through whatever it is that you're walking through.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we want you to think about the difference between

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Speaker 1: allowing a feeling but still reinforcing that the behavior needs

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Speaker 1: to happen. So it's okay that you're anxious and we

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Speaker 1: still need to get to school right And one thing

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Speaker 1: that parents often don't know, which is a super helpful tip,

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Speaker 1: is with anxiety, you don't want to reassure them that

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Speaker 1: everything's going to be okay. That's what you want to

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Speaker 1: remember is you can be there for the feeling, which

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Speaker 1: is I understand you're anxious that something bad might happen today,

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Speaker 1: but you don't want to finish the thought with and

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Speaker 1: I'm sure nothing will happen because that reinforces the loop.

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Speaker 1: So you just go, here's a tool. How can we

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Speaker 1: bring down that worry right now? And then give them

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Speaker 1: some anxiety tool.

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Speaker 2: You know, I love that.

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Speaker 4: That's good coaching in general.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, kids, what would you say would be the worst

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Speaker 2: thing that a parent can do with a kid that

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Speaker 2: has the anxiety or the worry, because I know from

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Speaker 2: my own experience when I was when I'm with people

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Speaker 2: around people that don't understand anxiety, they're like, you're fine.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I feel like I'm dying. I'm not fine,

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Speaker 2: Like I'm having a full blown panic attack. And this

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Speaker 2: is so when someone doesn't understand anxiety, it's hard to

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Speaker 2: then either parent anxiety or be there for a person

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Speaker 2: with anxiety. So what do you think a parent does

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Speaker 2: that is hurtful to the outcome of a child dealing

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Speaker 2: with them?

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Speaker 6: You just named it. It's dismissing the feeling, and that

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Speaker 6: the effect of that is it's as you just described,

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Speaker 6: that you're left with, but I don't feel okay. And

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Speaker 6: so that really is we see two things, dismissing and fixing. So,

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Speaker 6: and Maria made mention of this earlier that if we

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Speaker 6: then finish the thought, if we then say it's it's

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Speaker 6: going to be okay or I'm going to jump in

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Speaker 6: and do this thing, then you're kind of doing the

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Speaker 6: other end of it, which is fixing. And as Maria

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Speaker 6: just explained, we don't need to dismiss the feelings because

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Speaker 6: we separate the feeling from a behavior. So if in

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Speaker 6: those moments somebody says this is bad for you, then

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Speaker 6: we feel seen and in that moment we don't feel

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Speaker 6: like we kind of have to fight as hard to say,

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Speaker 6: but I am hurting here, I am scared. I can't

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Speaker 6: breathe in the moment of a panic attack.

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Speaker 3: As you explain, what's the if you don't mind disclosing it,

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Speaker 3: what is the biggest thing that parents bring the kids

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Speaker 3: to you guys for when it comes to anxiety, when

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Speaker 3: kids are anxious, what's the biggest cause?

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Speaker 4: And that's day and age. What do you see?

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Speaker 1: So we have the causes right, and then we have

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Speaker 1: the symptoms, which is what are parents calling with? And

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Speaker 1: maybe we can start with what are they calling with?

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Speaker 1: Which is oftentimes parents know how to notice anxiety now right,

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Speaker 1: so they'll say, she's biting her nails, or he won't

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Speaker 1: stop working on his homework even when it's already perfect

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Speaker 1: and he just won't leave that desk, or you know,

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Speaker 1: I can't get him to start his homework because he's

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Speaker 1: so anxious about procrastinating around it. And then you know,

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Speaker 1: we see real other symptoms, like a fear of throwing

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Speaker 1: up is very very common in young kids. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if you're familiar with that at all, the metaphobia

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Speaker 1: and different fears that come up based on situations. So

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Speaker 1: here in La, you know, we had the fires, so

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Speaker 1: kids being afraid of fires after that, or something very

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Speaker 1: specific to what they've experienced. But generally, all the symptoms

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Speaker 1: lead back to the very same thing, which is, I

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Speaker 1: don't know how to be comfortable being uncomfortable. So I'm

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Speaker 1: going to go to therapy and learn how to notice

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Speaker 1: stop feeling in my body and know that there are

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Speaker 1: so many great tools that I can use to bring

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Speaker 1: it down. So many kids will say, you know, when

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Speaker 1: they're starting to get better, is I feel so much

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Speaker 1: better because I was scared of my anxiety. I didn't

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Speaker 1: know what it was and I didn't know what to

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Speaker 1: do with it. But now I know, oh that's anxiety,

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Speaker 1: and so they have so much more power over what

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Speaker 1: to do, and parents learn it too, so the whole

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Speaker 1: family gets involved.

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Speaker 2: What would you say is your biggest in the book,

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Speaker 2: one of your favorite tools that would be good for

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Speaker 2: parents to know, not without giving your whole book away.

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Speaker 6: Just like sure, yeah, well we have we have a

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Speaker 6: handful of them. We have many of them obviously in

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Speaker 6: the book. But one of the things that we love

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Speaker 6: is you can't help but be present if you're using

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Speaker 6: your senses, and so that's really that you can choose

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Speaker 6: any of your senses to get back present. Anxiety is

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Speaker 6: generally worried about something in the future or something that's

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Speaker 6: happened in the past, and we want to get right

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00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 6: back here. And so if we use our hands to

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00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 6: touch things, if we use our ears to listen for things,

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00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 6: our eyes to describe things in the environment. And what's

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00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 6: great about senses is that you can choose any one

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Speaker 6: of them. Some people prefer to describe things with their eyes,

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00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 6: some people prefer to listen. You could run through all

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00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 6: of them, and so in that way, what's wonderful with

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00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,200
Speaker 6: kids is that you can say, it's not this one

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00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,920
Speaker 6: thing that I want you to do, pick one of

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00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 6: the senses that you want to choose, giving them some

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00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 6: agency over the choice of what thing is going to

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00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 6: help them in the moment, and then they can move

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00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 6: on to another one if in that moment it doesn't

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00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 6: feel like it kind of tampens it down enough that

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00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 6: you could say I'm going to use my hands and

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Speaker 6: then I'm going to smell and then I'm going to listen.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for that, because that's my favorite one that

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00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 2: I used to do at my three in the morning

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00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 2: wake up anxiety, like just the full sweat. I would

456
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 2: do the five so I'd be like, what are five

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00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 2: things that I haven't noticed in my room lately? With's

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00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 2: you know, the five smells or the sounds. And I

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00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 2: didn't even think to use that with the kids, Like,

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00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 2: that's such becuz that one is my absolute go to.

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00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 2: I love that one so much because it really just

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00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,680
Speaker 2: takes you out of your own freakout and manic.

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Speaker 5: Nice to go.

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00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you have different age kids, right, so when

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00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 1: you have younger ones, you can go, can you spot

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00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 1: something green? And you don't even have to tell them

467
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:31,679
Speaker 1: that it's an anxiety exercise, right, if you just notice

468
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 1: that they're getting there. You can go, can you see

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00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 1: any square shapes? Can you see any squares in the room?

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00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 1: Can you point those out to me? Right? And then

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00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: as they get older, you can tell them there's all

472
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 1: these cool tools you can put in your box for

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00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 1: getting calm, and that's one of them. And another one

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00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,440
Speaker 1: is finding something really cozy and really moving around the

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00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 1: senses is the best place to start.

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Speaker 2: I love that so much. Well, thank you guys for

477
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:57,680
Speaker 2: you know, the work that you do, and for this

478
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 2: book raising calm kids in a worry of world old.

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00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 2: It is available now for purchase. Tools to ease anxiety

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00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 2: and overwhelm. So thank you so much for coming on.

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00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 2: Really appreciate it. This is going to help so many

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00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,439
Speaker 2: parents and their kiddos.

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00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:15,159
Speaker 1: Thanks for having us, Thanks guys, fun Thanks

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Speaker 6: Bye,