WEBVTT - #120 This relationship is going to be tough to survive 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.760 Do you think it's possible for a relationship to survive this? Yes, 0:00:03.960 --> 0:00:07.960 I do, I do. It's gonna be a tough road. 0:00:08.760 --> 0:00:12.119 It's gonna be tough road. I'm so sorry. I'm so 0:00:12.280 --> 0:00:17.759 sorry that you're you're in this situation with a one 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:32.599 week old baby. Hey, guys, welcome to another show. This 0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:38.520 is episode one. Thank you for listening. Whatever platform you're using. 0:00:38.640 --> 0:00:41.040 I'm so grateful for this podcast to be able to 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:45.959 walk through things in long form, answer your questions. That's 0:00:46.000 --> 0:00:49.519 what I do here. Like we're sitting around a campfire. 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:53.280 It's just me campfire. I actually it's funny. I actually 0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:56.640 have a brush pile burning right now, right outside this room, 0:00:56.680 --> 0:01:00.120 so it's very relevant. It's like I'm standing around the 0:01:00.120 --> 0:01:03.480 the brush pile. It's burning down. You know, it's night, 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:10.319 early early morning, kind of this this somber, you know, fire, 0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:14.280 And you walk up, you the guest, and you say, hey, man, 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:16.039 can I ask you a question. Something's been going on 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:19.240 in my life, something, something that i'd like to walk 0:01:19.280 --> 0:01:23.360 through with you. Yeah, man, let's talk through it. The 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:26.160 thing is, I'm not always right, you know, but but 0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:28.720 it's just a conversation. And that's what this podcast is. 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:31.319 That's what it has turned into. If you have a 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:36.440 question for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:39.319 And if you don't, you just want to listen, great, 0:01:39.400 --> 0:01:41.679 If you want to watch, some of you are watching 0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:44.039 on Spotify right now or YouTube, so you could watch 0:01:44.040 --> 0:01:49.320 that too. My life has been crazy right now. It's 0:01:49.440 --> 0:01:52.320 just I started a new radio show called After Midnight. 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:56.440 So I've been hosting that and that's a nationally syndicated show, 0:01:56.440 --> 0:01:58.320 so you could you could hear it almost any place 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:00.640 you live. You could find a stage in an FM 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:03.040 station that plays it. You could also hear it on 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:07.280 the iHeartRadio app. And then I'm also shooting a movie. 0:02:07.280 --> 0:02:10.920 This is my first movie gig, and so I have 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:15.000 a lead role in a movie. We're shooting here in Texas, 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:18.240 and I'm bouncing back and forth. We shoot five or 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:21.120 six days a week, like ten hour days. So when 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:23.520 I'm not doing that, I'm hosting the radio show. When 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:28.000 I'm not doing that, I'm shooting the Smith not touring 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:30.200 a lot right now because of all this stuff, mainly 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:33.240 because of the movie. And when I'm not doing those things, 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:35.400 i'm doing the podcast. That's what I'm doing today. So 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:37.600 i want to get to the first question. I have 0:02:37.720 --> 0:02:43.480 one queued up, and then everything after that. It's open game, guys. 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:45.320 I have no idea what I'm about to read. Okay, 0:02:46.200 --> 0:02:49.560 first question says and it comes from Corey says, Hey, 0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:52.440 I'm fourteen years old. I'm in the eighth grade. I 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:55.320 live in Longview, Washington. There is a girl I really like, 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:57.960 but she has a boyfriend and they are both my 0:02:58.080 --> 0:03:03.520 best friends. What should I do? What's up? Corey shout 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:06.520 out to Washington Longview. I've never been to Longview, but 0:03:06.600 --> 0:03:12.160 shout out to our listeners in Longview, Washington, Corey, Buddy, 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:15.160 I would pump the brakes on this one. First of all, 0:03:15.200 --> 0:03:18.520 being fourteen, eighth grade, it's not like it's not like 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:21.040 you know the clock is ticking and you're looking for 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:26.080 a wife anytime soon, so you know that's not not here. 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:29.640 But these are your best friends. You don't say anything 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:35.880 about her being happy or not, Buddy, eighth grade relationships 0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:39.880 just come and go. So I would imagine if you 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:43.680 if you hang on a little bit, it's gonna last 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:47.760 maybe a year, maybe six months, you'll have an opportunity 0:03:47.800 --> 0:03:50.200 when it's finished. This is not one of these scenarios 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:52.560 where I'm gonna say, hey, you gotta make a move. 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:54.480 You're gonna tell you gotta sit them down and tell, 0:03:54.560 --> 0:03:57.360 do you know, tell your buddy, your best friend, how 0:03:57.400 --> 0:04:00.320 you feel about his girl, or tell the girl how 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:03.960 you feel about her. It's just not that it doesn't 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:06.400 make any better for any better for you. I'm sorry, 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:08.880 it's not gonna make it's not gonna make your life 0:04:08.880 --> 0:04:12.240 easier hearing me say this to you. But right now, 0:04:12.720 --> 0:04:15.160 you pump the brakes. It's okay. You got plenty of time. 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:18.120 There's other girls there, maybe they're not as good as 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:21.440 this one, but just hang tight. This is your best 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:24.360 friend's girl, and the girl's your best friend too, and 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:28.200 it's understandable why you even like her because you guys 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:30.960 have a lot in common. You probably hang out all 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:35.159 the time, so she's just in your immediate group of friends. 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:39.560 So yeah, you don't, don't try to hit on your 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:43.400 best friend's girl. Okay, that's just like man code one 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:48.400 that the story might be different if you're you're thirty 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:51.800 eight years old and you know exactly what you want 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:54.240 in life, and you could see this and you have 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:56.960 to say something. And even then we're gonna have to 0:04:56.960 --> 0:04:59.440 talk about it. But Corey Pump the Brakes brother. But 0:04:59.480 --> 0:05:05.840 thanks for the email. Okay, let's hop around here. I've 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:08.800 got a whole bunch of the queue. I'm gonna hit 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:13.560 this one right here. The subject line says, I took 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:18.080 my own life now what, Hey, granger. My name is Hannah. 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:21.160 I'm twenty one years old, married to my high school sweetheart, 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:25.960 and we have a one son. For context, I live 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:29.159 in a ridiculously small town in Mississippi. I'm curious to 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:32.080 know what do you think happens to a person after 0:05:32.160 --> 0:05:35.880 they commit suicide in terms of eternity I'm talking about. 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:38.200 I've tossed this question around my whole life, and I've 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:41.880 gotten many different answers and theories from folks in different 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:46.400 walks of life. I work in the emergency medicine scene, 0:05:46.440 --> 0:05:49.360 and suicide is an increasing issue we deal with. I'm 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:51.440 a christ follower, and I like to think that God 0:05:51.520 --> 0:05:54.440 understands the trials of our lives and then he has 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:56.800 mercy on us. Thank you for all that you do. 0:05:56.839 --> 0:06:01.440 Your wisdom is a gift that doesn't go unnoticed. Thank you, Hannah, 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:04.160 Thank you so much. Shout out to small town in Mississippi. 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:10.839 Thank you for your service and the EMS. And I 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:13.760 can't imagine being twenty one years old and seeing this stuff, 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:18.120 you know, seeing everything that you see go through the hospital, 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:21.200 including including suicide. And I'm so sorry to hear it. 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:23.599 And I get this question a lot on the podcast. 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:31.000 Suicide comes up a lot. Unfortunately, it's a it's it's 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:37.000 it's a popular thing. And I have an answer for you. 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:39.960 I have. I have an answer that I've thought because 0:06:39.960 --> 0:06:42.800 I've thought about this. I've I've dealt with people in 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:47.279 my circle before in this kind of situation, and so 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:52.120 I've I've I've really I've had a chance to unpack 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:55.839 this a lot. But it goes back to what I 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:59.120 say a lot in this podcast is, and for everyone listening, 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:04.040 the question is, we're talking about eternity from a perspective 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:09.600 of a Christian. When you die as a Christian, you've 0:07:09.680 --> 0:07:13.880 accepted Jesus into your heart as your Lord and savior, 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:20.880 and you through faith by grace. Okay, that's salvation. You're 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:25.480 saved by grace, nothing else. It's like, we get into 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:28.000 this a lot on this podcast, but it's it's never 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:32.560 anything that you do. You can't do it by works. 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:36.400 You can't be a good person, you can't walk enough 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:39.880 old ladies across the street. You are saved by the 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:45.520 grace of God through your faith. Belief. It's another word 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:50.640 for faith in Jesus. Okay, that's what the Bible says. 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:53.880 That's it's not what I've made up or my theory. 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:58.920 It's not my perspective. This is what the Word says. 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:04.840 You're saved by grace through faith. So when you die, 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:11.800 if you have faith, by grace, you will go to Heaven. 0:08:12.160 --> 0:08:16.760 You will have we will all have eternal life as humans. 0:08:17.200 --> 0:08:20.040 This is once again I'm not speaking from my opinion. 0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:23.640 I'm speaking from the Bible says we all will have 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:28.720 eternal life. But it's not a matter of if. It's 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:32.079 a matter of where. Where will you have eternal life? 0:08:32.080 --> 0:08:36.720 And there's two choices, heaven or hill. So if you 0:08:36.760 --> 0:08:39.240 have faith, I'm walking through this as slowly as I 0:08:39.240 --> 0:08:41.560 can to unpack it, like I've done in my own 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:45.400 head about suicide. If you have faith and you've accepted 0:08:45.760 --> 0:08:51.280 Jesus by the grace of God, you've done that and 0:08:51.360 --> 0:08:54.240 as a result of that, as a result of that faith, 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:57.959 that's when works come to play. That's when in James two, 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:02.040 we see faith without works is dead, and so a 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:03.360 lot of people will turn to that and be like, 0:09:03.440 --> 0:09:05.480 you have to have works, because look, James says, faith 0:09:05.480 --> 0:09:07.800 without works is dead. But what that means is it 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:10.920 means works as a result. So it begins with the faith. 0:09:11.520 --> 0:09:15.520 It begins with that salvation of faith, and then after 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:23.320 that you are compelled through sanctification to live out a 0:09:23.400 --> 0:09:28.719 life worthy of Christ after the salvation. Right, so you 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:32.040 live it out, but you're not perfect, and you still 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:36.439 mess up, and you still sin. The difference is after salvation, 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:41.800 you hate the sin that you do and you repent 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:45.400 for it. So you repent. You're mad at yourself. Say 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:51.280 you tell a white lie. As a non believer, you 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:55.360 might have a guilty conscience, okay, but you can move 0:09:55.400 --> 0:09:59.480 on from that. But as a saved believer in Christ, 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:02.600 you tell that white line and you go, ah, I 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:06.560 hate that I did that, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry God, 0:10:06.640 --> 0:10:09.120 and I need to I need to make amends for 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:12.640 this white lie. And the further you go in that walk, 0:10:13.440 --> 0:10:17.480 the stronger that sanctify sanctification gets, and the more it 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:20.720 just nags at you. The Holy Spirit nags at you. 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:24.400 And just gnaws, you know, just just rips you apart 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:28.040 from the inside out. Slowly. It starts off right after 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:30.440 you're saved. It starts off like you feel it, and 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:33.160 you're like, that's a weird feeling I have. But after 0:10:33.200 --> 0:10:36.400 a long walk with Christ for years and years, you're 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:39.080 you just constantly want to shed it. You want to 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:41.360 shed that sin. You want to stop saying that cuss 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:44.439 word that you used to say, and you accidentally say 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:46.319 it and it's just like your mind spikes and you 0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:48.760 go there it is again. Ah, I hate that word, 0:10:48.800 --> 0:10:51.120 I hate that I say it. I gotta get better. 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:55.800 I gotta get better. So you're constantly improving. And then 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:59.080 when you die, you go to heaven, you're still sinning. 0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:02.000 When that happened, you still you're still a sinner when 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:05.839 you die, when you're saved, you don't automatically become a 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:10.360 never again sinner. Right, You're not perfect, you never will be. 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:17.240 So where does suicide fall in this? Well, as far 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.040 as I've unpacked it, and I've told you guys the 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:21.920 facts of what the Bible says about death and salvation, 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:27.160 so suicide comes into play as well. It's a sin, 0:11:27.240 --> 0:11:33.440 it's murder, it's murder. You've murdered yourself. People that have 0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:35.520 gone through this A side note, people that have gone 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:37.640 through this families, And I want to be sensitive about 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:41.040 this because I have the utmost respect for families that 0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:44.360 have gone through this. And suicide so many times comes 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:50.680 through men and women in the military through PTSD. I 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:54.160 realize through that that many times you're injured, you're injured 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:56.839 in the brain. You can't see it on a cat scan. 0:11:57.320 --> 0:11:59.960 You can't see it like a like you've lost a limb, 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:04.400 you know, like like some soldiers have lost an arm. Well, 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:07.320 you get injured in your brain and you can't see it, 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:11.520 but it's you're injured. You're affected by something that happened 0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:16.160 in war. And so what they call that instead of 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:20.720 saying they committed suicide, they say death by suicide, meaning 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:23.000 they weren't in the right mind. They weren't in their 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:25.320 right mind when they did that, So they were they 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:29.840 were murdered by suicide. That does that make sense? So 0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:33.079 that's why they say death by suicide, and it's it's 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:36.360 it's easier on a family to say that, and it's 0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:40.120 actually more truthful than to say commit suicide, because that 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:45.120 that implies that the person had full intention of killing 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:49.360 themselves in their right mind, and it's rarely the case. 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:54.080 So back to back to sin. Murder is a sin 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:56.640 and that this is what suicide is, is murder. But 0:12:56.720 --> 0:12:59.760 we know through the Bible that that a sin is 0:12:59.800 --> 0:13:05.600 a sin and through repentance and salvation in this sanctification process, 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:11.839 as you're working working out your your salvation Ah, then 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:18.240 sinners can go to heaven. Murders can go to heaven. 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:21.959 So you see what I'm getting at that My answer is, yes, 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:25.520 a person that commits suicide or in the in the 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:28.520 the polite way of saying it, that person that has 0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:33.040 died by suicide absolutely can go to heaven because that 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:36.199 does not that that didn't break our first rule. Our 0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:41.080 first rule is faith, grace, saved by grace by faith. 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:45.160 So if they so the answer is in the long 0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:47.160 way that I've been saying this that let me sum 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:49.840 this up. The answer is if if you're if you're 0:13:49.840 --> 0:13:52.679 a person that you you've seen go to the hospital 0:13:53.040 --> 0:14:00.319 that died by suicide, had faith and accepted Jesus Christ, 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:03.640 then yes, they'll go to heaven regardless of how they die, 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:06.160 regardless of they if they were murdered by their own 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:10.560 hand or someone else's, regardless if they died of old 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:15.280 age or cancer at a young age. The faith is 0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:18.040 what saves you, not the way that you die, and 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:21.080 not what you did. The sinner on the cross next 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:25.280 to Jesus, the thief, was a sinner his whole life, 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:28.000 and right there on the cross, he looked at Jesus 0:14:29.640 --> 0:14:33.920 and he said, will you remember me when you go 0:14:34.040 --> 0:14:37.160 into your kingdom. Jesus looked right at him and said, 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:41.240 today you will be with me in paradise. Just like that. 0:14:41.240 --> 0:14:44.080 That's it. It didn't matter how many old ladies across 0:14:44.360 --> 0:14:47.360 he took across the street. It didn't It didn't ever 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:49.800 he didn't. He couldn't have done enough to make up 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:53.760 for the thief that he was, But that didn't matter 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:56.440 to Jesus. It was the faith that saved him. So 0:14:56.480 --> 0:15:00.560 that person that committed suicide, if they had the faith then, 0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:03.360 regardless of the dark time they were in. Suicide is 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:07.360 a terrible thing that the mind has to be so 0:15:07.760 --> 0:15:14.600 deprived and beat up and broken to commit an act 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:18.920 like that, But it does not affect the salvation. Only 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:24.880 the only the faith does. It's a good question. It's 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:33.280 a good question. I'm just popping around here. Okay, here's one. 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:37.400 It says husband had an affair after wedding. That's the subject. 0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:40.400 Hey Granger, I recently found out my husband has been 0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:43.120 sleeping with a girl off and on for the last 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:48.120 two years. They started talking while we were engaged, and 0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:51.440 then met one week after our wedding. I currently have 0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:55.440 a one week old with him, and I found out 0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:58.320 that the last time it happened was while I was pregnant. 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:02.360 I love him and I want to move past this. 0:16:03.160 --> 0:16:05.640 He said it was strictly sex and he wants to 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:09.440 go to counseling. Do you think it's possible for a 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:16.080 relationship to survive this? She didn't. She didn't write her 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:20.560 name on here, so I'm gonna keep her anonymous. I'll 0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:22.440 start with you. I'll start with the final question. Do 0:16:22.560 --> 0:16:25.920 you think it's possible for a relationship to survive this? Yes? 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:30.520 I do, I do. It's gonna be a tough road. 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:35.000 It's gonna be tough road. I'm so sorry. I'm so 0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:40.600 sorry that you're you're in this situation with a one 0:16:40.800 --> 0:16:47.560 week old baby. I just the guy has a problem. 0:16:47.600 --> 0:16:53.760 Your husband, he has a problem, And this sounds like 0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:56.720 it sounds like this is this is something that will 0:16:56.760 --> 0:17:02.280 continue unless something drasticalpens. So yeah, take him up on 0:17:02.320 --> 0:17:05.960 the counseling and hold him to it. And if he 0:17:06.480 --> 0:17:09.000 is this is what I think our campfire talk. We're 0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:14.240 sitting around the campfire. If he breaks the commitment of 0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:19.360 the counseling, you need to let him know that you're 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:22.199 walking out of this. If he breaks the commitment to 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:26.280 the counseling, and if he does, you gotta do it. 0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:28.520 You got to stick to you got to stick to 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:31.360 the threat, stick to what you told him. You got 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:35.480 to walk out. It's a toxic situation for for this 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:40.119 this kid to be raised in. And I'm assuming I 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:42.960 don't know your age, but I'm assuming that with a 0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:49.360 one week old baby, you're maybe twenties or thirties, and 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:55.280 and there's time for you to rebuild something else. If 0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:58.840 this doesn't work, I think I think it's possible. But 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:02.919 it's tough. Everyone and listening knows this is tough, and 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:06.760 it's it's rare. I I personally know people that have 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:10.680 totally recovered from a situation just like this. I personally 0:18:10.720 --> 0:18:14.920 know marriages that are strong, fathers that are that are 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:22.320 great dads, great leaders, and uh, it's it's possible, but 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:26.600 most of us know more stories of this not working, 0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:29.879 of him not fixing this, and he needs to He 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:34.000 needs to fix this immediately. This is not on you. 0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:37.239 This is not your fault. This is not something you 0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:41.120 have done or or something you're not giving him or 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:44.880 a way that you look. This is on him. He's 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:47.360 cheating on you, and that's on him. That's a that's 0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:50.679 a problem he has. So you need to know that, 0:18:51.359 --> 0:18:55.440 and you need to go into counseling with him and 0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:58.720 and be open minded about it and pick a good counselor. 0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:01.560 And if you bail on this counseling, if he says 0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:05.240 I'm good, I'm done, I'm cured, and the counselor says, 0:19:05.240 --> 0:19:09.400 the time's not up yet, that you need more sessions, 0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:13.280 it's time to separate for however long you want to do. 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:16.240 It's time to it's time to to put some space, 0:19:16.480 --> 0:19:22.199 some time, some space. Take the baby. I'm so sorry. 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:27.920 It is possible. Yes, all right, flipping down here, Let's 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:36.400 let's get one more and take a break. How about 0:19:36.400 --> 0:19:40.320 one that just uh, this is a generic one question 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:44.480 for the podcast, says Hey Granger, I'm in a kind 0:19:44.480 --> 0:19:47.320 of a tricky situation to make a decision. I graduate 0:19:47.400 --> 0:19:51.080 college in May. I'm working at a sheriff's office part time, 0:19:51.119 --> 0:19:53.720 and I have the opportunity to go into law enforcement academy. 0:19:54.640 --> 0:19:56.920 I want to be deputy. I just don't know if 0:19:56.920 --> 0:19:59.520 I'm ready yet. I'm nineteen years old. I need some 0:19:59.560 --> 0:20:05.080 advice on what to do. Well, Buddy, I think you're, 0:20:05.160 --> 0:20:07.560 first of all, think you're doing His name is Chandler, 0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:09.840 by the way, Chandler. I think you're doing the right 0:20:09.880 --> 0:20:12.480 thing by working at the sheriff's office. I think that's awesome. 0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:15.000 I always encourage people to if you're going to get 0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:18.679 into a field, go work in that field doing something 0:20:18.720 --> 0:20:21.280 else first. You kind of get in the environment. You 0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:24.040 meet the people that are doing it. You meet what 0:20:24.160 --> 0:20:26.640 could be your future boss. Even if you're just taking 0:20:26.680 --> 0:20:29.439 the trash out, you're just working. Even if you're the 0:20:29.520 --> 0:20:33.640 coffee guy, you're making good coffee for everybody. Be someone 0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:37.240 that everyone likes in the office, and be someone that's 0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:41.359 useful for the office. I would start there, and it 0:20:41.400 --> 0:20:46.520 sounds like you're doing that. You have opportunity to go 0:20:46.720 --> 0:20:51.040 into the law enforcement academy. You want to be a deputy, 0:20:51.080 --> 0:20:54.040 and you don't know if you're ready do it. Do it. 0:20:54.080 --> 0:20:57.719 You're nineteen, it's time go into the law enforcement academy. 0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:01.679 You don't have to go into the academy and immediately 0:21:01.720 --> 0:21:05.320 go into law enforcement, but through that process, you're gonna 0:21:05.320 --> 0:21:06.760 be with a lot of other people that are in 0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:09.879 your same boat. You're gonna be in that community, and 0:21:09.880 --> 0:21:11.840 that is key to so many things in life, to 0:21:11.840 --> 0:21:14.879 get into a community of like minded people. And I 0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:17.600 promise you in the academy you're gonna have people like 0:21:17.680 --> 0:21:21.840 you that are going I'm young, I'm still a teenager. 0:21:22.560 --> 0:21:24.760 I don't know if I'm ready to get into this, 0:21:24.920 --> 0:21:28.119 and you're gonna go, h me too, That's how I 0:21:28.160 --> 0:21:33.119 feel too. And then they're gonna go, really well, let's 0:21:33.119 --> 0:21:35.600 talk about this together as we go through the academy. 0:21:35.960 --> 0:21:38.880 So then you're going through and you're going through tough 0:21:38.920 --> 0:21:42.000 situations that the academy will make for you, and you'll 0:21:42.000 --> 0:21:45.639 go through this bonding process through these tough situations and 0:21:45.680 --> 0:21:48.119 you'll figure it out really quick. You're gonna know, you're 0:21:48.160 --> 0:21:49.960 gonna either gonna know two weeks in you're gonna go, 0:21:50.080 --> 0:21:51.800 you know what this is not for me, I'm out 0:21:52.560 --> 0:21:55.679 or you're gonna go. You know, I didn't think I 0:21:55.720 --> 0:21:58.720 was ready, But that's the whole purpose of the academy 0:21:58.800 --> 0:22:01.640 is to get you ready. Like that's what they do. 0:22:02.240 --> 0:22:04.520 That No one just decides one day they're going to 0:22:04.520 --> 0:22:07.480 be a deputy and goes right into it. So that's 0:22:07.480 --> 0:22:11.399 what the academy does, not only physically and book wise 0:22:11.520 --> 0:22:15.880 get you ready, but mentally your mental toughness gets ready. 0:22:16.280 --> 0:22:18.879 You learn through that. That's what they're there for. So 0:22:19.200 --> 0:22:24.920 by all means, Chandler, do this, do this, take a break, 0:22:24.920 --> 0:22:32.560 be right back. This podcast is brought to you by 0:22:32.720 --> 0:22:35.560 Better Help. Is there something interfering with your happiness or 0:22:35.640 --> 0:22:38.520 preventing you from achieving your goals? We talk about this 0:22:38.640 --> 0:22:40.480 kind of stuff all the time on this podcast. Will 0:22:40.560 --> 0:22:43.800 Better Help will assess your needs and match you with 0:22:43.920 --> 0:22:47.240 your own licensed professional therapist. You'll be matched with a 0:22:47.280 --> 0:22:50.360 therapist in under forty eight hours. It's not a crisis line, 0:22:50.400 --> 0:22:54.000 it's not a self help it's professional therapy done securely 0:22:54.040 --> 0:22:57.480 online and there's a broad range of expertise available which 0:22:57.520 --> 0:23:01.000 may not be available locally in many other areas. So 0:23:01.119 --> 0:23:03.600 the service is available for clients worldwide. You could log 0:23:03.640 --> 0:23:06.160 into your account anytime send a message to your therapist. 0:23:06.640 --> 0:23:10.000 You get timely and thoughtful responses. Plus you could schedule 0:23:10.000 --> 0:23:12.560 weekly video or phone session so you won't ever have 0:23:12.680 --> 0:23:15.359 to sit and you know, one of those uncomfortable waiting 0:23:15.440 --> 0:23:19.400 rooms as as you see in traditional therapy. Better Help 0:23:19.480 --> 0:23:23.240 is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so that they 0:23:23.600 --> 0:23:26.040 make it easy and free to change therapist if you 0:23:26.119 --> 0:23:30.080 need so, It's more affordable than normal traditional therapy, and 0:23:30.119 --> 0:23:33.639 it's you know, has financial aid available. Better Help wants 0:23:33.680 --> 0:23:36.080 you to start living a happier life today. Visit their 0:23:36.080 --> 0:23:40.800 website and read their testimonials. Visit betterhelp dot com slash 0:23:40.840 --> 0:23:45.320 granger that's h LP and join over two million people 0:23:45.320 --> 0:23:47.720 who've taken charge of their mental health with the help 0:23:47.760 --> 0:23:50.439 of an experienced professional. In fact, so many people have 0:23:50.480 --> 0:23:53.760 been using Better Help that they're recruiting additional therapists in 0:23:53.800 --> 0:23:58.800 all fifty states. So special offer for Grangersmith podcast listeners. 0:23:58.800 --> 0:24:02.200 Get ten percent off off your first month at betterhelp 0:24:02.280 --> 0:24:10.640 dot com slash granger. All right, diving back into these questions, 0:24:10.680 --> 0:24:14.920 if you have one for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at 0:24:14.960 --> 0:24:19.600 gmail dot com. That's what I'm answering here, So you 0:24:19.640 --> 0:24:22.200 ask me, and I'll walk through it with you slowly, 0:24:22.480 --> 0:24:25.320 just like just like I have this fire cooking outside 0:24:25.400 --> 0:24:28.119 right now, outside of this room. We're gonna sit around 0:24:28.119 --> 0:24:30.920 this fire and we're gonna go through your question. Next 0:24:31.000 --> 0:24:34.480 up here it comes from Becky and the subject line says, 0:24:35.160 --> 0:24:40.440 is anybody going to Hell? Uh? Oh? Here we go, Granger. 0:24:40.480 --> 0:24:42.879 First off, love the podcast the Smiths and all your 0:24:42.960 --> 0:24:46.600 values and several of your podcast you say, when we 0:24:46.920 --> 0:24:52.040 are all, we are all sinners, but we are or 0:24:52.160 --> 0:24:57.760 can be forgiven. So who's going to hell? Is the rapist, murder, 0:24:58.240 --> 0:25:02.760 child molester forgivable? If I steal a car and ask 0:25:02.800 --> 0:25:06.879 for forgiveness, do I get to keep the car? Pretty 0:25:06.880 --> 0:25:09.159 sure there's more to making it to heaven than just 0:25:09.320 --> 0:25:12.760 asking for forgiveness of our sins. Thanks for your input, 0:25:12.800 --> 0:25:17.800 Becky Man. That's kind of parallel to the earlier question. 0:25:18.560 --> 0:25:25.879 So Becky, you're correct, You're correct, there is more to 0:25:26.040 --> 0:25:30.120