Speaker 1: Do you think it's possible for a relationship to survive this? Yes,
Speaker 1: I do, I do. It's gonna be a tough road.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be tough road. I'm so sorry. I'm so
Speaker 1: sorry that you're you're in this situation with a one
Speaker 1: week old baby. Hey, guys, welcome to another show. This
Speaker 1: is episode one. Thank you for listening. Whatever platform you're using.
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for this podcast to be able to
Speaker 1: walk through things in long form, answer your questions. That's
Speaker 1: what I do here. Like we're sitting around a campfire.
Speaker 1: It's just me campfire. I actually it's funny. I actually
Speaker 1: have a brush pile burning right now, right outside this room,
Speaker 1: so it's very relevant. It's like I'm standing around the
Speaker 1: the brush pile. It's burning down. You know, it's night,
Speaker 1: early early morning, kind of this this somber, you know, fire,
Speaker 1: And you walk up, you the guest, and you say, hey, man,
Speaker 1: can I ask you a question. Something's been going on
Speaker 1: in my life, something, something that i'd like to walk
Speaker 1: through with you. Yeah, man, let's talk through it. The
Speaker 1: thing is, I'm not always right, you know, but but
Speaker 1: it's just a conversation. And that's what this podcast is.
Speaker 1: That's what it has turned into. If you have a
Speaker 1: question for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: And if you don't, you just want to listen, great,
Speaker 1: If you want to watch, some of you are watching
Speaker 1: on Spotify right now or YouTube, so you could watch
Speaker 1: that too. My life has been crazy right now. It's
Speaker 1: just I started a new radio show called After Midnight.
Speaker 1: So I've been hosting that and that's a nationally syndicated show,
Speaker 1: so you could you could hear it almost any place
Speaker 1: you live. You could find a stage in an FM
Speaker 1: station that plays it. You could also hear it on
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app. And then I'm also shooting a movie.
Speaker 1: This is my first movie gig, and so I have
Speaker 1: a lead role in a movie. We're shooting here in Texas,
Speaker 1: and I'm bouncing back and forth. We shoot five or
Speaker 1: six days a week, like ten hour days. So when
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that, I'm hosting the radio show. When
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that, I'm shooting the Smith not touring
Speaker 1: a lot right now because of all this stuff, mainly
Speaker 1: because of the movie. And when I'm not doing those things,
Speaker 1: i'm doing the podcast. That's what I'm doing today. So
Speaker 1: i want to get to the first question. I have
Speaker 1: one queued up, and then everything after that. It's open game, guys.
Speaker 1: I have no idea what I'm about to read. Okay,
Speaker 1: first question says and it comes from Corey says, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm fourteen years old. I'm in the eighth grade. I
Speaker 1: live in Longview, Washington. There is a girl I really like,
Speaker 1: but she has a boyfriend and they are both my
Speaker 1: best friends. What should I do? What's up? Corey shout
Speaker 1: out to Washington Longview. I've never been to Longview, but
Speaker 1: shout out to our listeners in Longview, Washington, Corey, Buddy,
Speaker 1: I would pump the brakes on this one. First of all,
Speaker 1: being fourteen, eighth grade, it's not like it's not like
Speaker 1: you know the clock is ticking and you're looking for
Speaker 1: a wife anytime soon, so you know that's not not here.
Speaker 1: But these are your best friends. You don't say anything
Speaker 1: about her being happy or not, Buddy, eighth grade relationships
Speaker 1: just come and go. So I would imagine if you
Speaker 1: if you hang on a little bit, it's gonna last
Speaker 1: maybe a year, maybe six months, you'll have an opportunity
Speaker 1: when it's finished. This is not one of these scenarios
Speaker 1: where I'm gonna say, hey, you gotta make a move.
Speaker 1: You're gonna tell you gotta sit them down and tell,
Speaker 1: do you know, tell your buddy, your best friend, how
Speaker 1: you feel about his girl, or tell the girl how
Speaker 1: you feel about her. It's just not that it doesn't
Speaker 1: make any better for any better for you. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: it's not gonna make it's not gonna make your life
Speaker 1: easier hearing me say this to you. But right now,
Speaker 1: you pump the brakes. It's okay. You got plenty of time.
Speaker 1: There's other girls there, maybe they're not as good as
Speaker 1: this one, but just hang tight. This is your best
Speaker 1: friend's girl, and the girl's your best friend too, and
Speaker 1: it's understandable why you even like her because you guys
Speaker 1: have a lot in common. You probably hang out all
Speaker 1: the time, so she's just in your immediate group of friends.
Speaker 1: So yeah, you don't, don't try to hit on your
Speaker 1: best friend's girl. Okay, that's just like man code one
Speaker 1: that the story might be different if you're you're thirty
Speaker 1: eight years old and you know exactly what you want
Speaker 1: in life, and you could see this and you have
Speaker 1: to say something. And even then we're gonna have to
Speaker 1: talk about it. But Corey Pump the Brakes brother. But
Speaker 1: thanks for the email. Okay, let's hop around here. I've
Speaker 1: got a whole bunch of the queue. I'm gonna hit
Speaker 1: this one right here. The subject line says, I took
Speaker 1: my own life now what, Hey, granger. My name is Hannah.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty one years old, married to my high school sweetheart,
Speaker 1: and we have a one son. For context, I live
Speaker 1: in a ridiculously small town in Mississippi. I'm curious to
Speaker 1: know what do you think happens to a person after
Speaker 1: they commit suicide in terms of eternity I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: I've tossed this question around my whole life, and I've
Speaker 1: gotten many different answers and theories from folks in different
Speaker 1: walks of life. I work in the emergency medicine scene,
Speaker 1: and suicide is an increasing issue we deal with. I'm
Speaker 1: a christ follower, and I like to think that God
Speaker 1: understands the trials of our lives and then he has
Speaker 1: mercy on us. Thank you for all that you do.
Speaker 1: Your wisdom is a gift that doesn't go unnoticed. Thank you, Hannah,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Shout out to small town in Mississippi.
Speaker 1: Thank you for your service and the EMS. And I
Speaker 1: can't imagine being twenty one years old and seeing this stuff,
Speaker 1: you know, seeing everything that you see go through the hospital,
Speaker 1: including including suicide. And I'm so sorry to hear it.
Speaker 1: And I get this question a lot on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Suicide comes up a lot. Unfortunately, it's a it's it's
Speaker 1: it's a popular thing. And I have an answer for you.
Speaker 1: I have. I have an answer that I've thought because
Speaker 1: I've thought about this. I've I've dealt with people in
Speaker 1: my circle before in this kind of situation, and so
Speaker 1: I've I've I've really I've had a chance to unpack
Speaker 1: this a lot. But it goes back to what I
Speaker 1: say a lot in this podcast is, and for everyone listening,
Speaker 1: the question is, we're talking about eternity from a perspective
Speaker 1: of a Christian. When you die as a Christian, you've
Speaker 1: accepted Jesus into your heart as your Lord and savior,
Speaker 1: and you through faith by grace. Okay, that's salvation. You're
Speaker 1: saved by grace, nothing else. It's like, we get into
Speaker 1: this a lot on this podcast, but it's it's never
Speaker 1: anything that you do. You can't do it by works.
Speaker 1: You can't be a good person, you can't walk enough
Speaker 1: old ladies across the street. You are saved by the
Speaker 1: grace of God through your faith. Belief. It's another word
Speaker 1: for faith in Jesus. Okay, that's what the Bible says.
Speaker 1: That's it's not what I've made up or my theory.
Speaker 1: It's not my perspective. This is what the Word says.
Speaker 1: You're saved by grace through faith. So when you die,
Speaker 1: if you have faith, by grace, you will go to Heaven.
Speaker 1: You will have we will all have eternal life as humans.
Speaker 1: This is once again I'm not speaking from my opinion.
Speaker 1: I'm speaking from the Bible says we all will have
Speaker 1: eternal life. But it's not a matter of if. It's
Speaker 1: a matter of where. Where will you have eternal life?
Speaker 1: And there's two choices, heaven or hill. So if you
Speaker 1: have faith, I'm walking through this as slowly as I
Speaker 1: can to unpack it, like I've done in my own
Speaker 1: head about suicide. If you have faith and you've accepted
Speaker 1: Jesus by the grace of God, you've done that and
Speaker 1: as a result of that, as a result of that faith,
Speaker 1: that's when works come to play. That's when in James two,
Speaker 1: we see faith without works is dead, and so a
Speaker 1: lot of people will turn to that and be like,
Speaker 1: you have to have works, because look, James says, faith
Speaker 1: without works is dead. But what that means is it
Speaker 1: means works as a result. So it begins with the faith.
Speaker 1: It begins with that salvation of faith, and then after
Speaker 1: that you are compelled through sanctification to live out a
Speaker 1: life worthy of Christ after the salvation. Right, so you
Speaker 1: live it out, but you're not perfect, and you still
Speaker 1: mess up, and you still sin. The difference is after salvation,
Speaker 1: you hate the sin that you do and you repent
Speaker 1: for it. So you repent. You're mad at yourself. Say
Speaker 1: you tell a white lie. As a non believer, you
Speaker 1: might have a guilty conscience, okay, but you can move
Speaker 1: on from that. But as a saved believer in Christ,
Speaker 1: you tell that white line and you go, ah, I
Speaker 1: hate that I did that, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry God,
Speaker 1: and I need to I need to make amends for
Speaker 1: this white lie. And the further you go in that walk,
Speaker 1: the stronger that sanctify sanctification gets, and the more it
Speaker 1: just nags at you. The Holy Spirit nags at you.
Speaker 1: And just gnaws, you know, just just rips you apart
Speaker 1: from the inside out. Slowly. It starts off right after
Speaker 1: you're saved. It starts off like you feel it, and
Speaker 1: you're like, that's a weird feeling I have. But after
Speaker 1: a long walk with Christ for years and years, you're
Speaker 1: you just constantly want to shed it. You want to
Speaker 1: shed that sin. You want to stop saying that cuss
Speaker 1: word that you used to say, and you accidentally say
Speaker 1: it and it's just like your mind spikes and you
Speaker 1: go there it is again. Ah, I hate that word,
Speaker 1: I hate that I say it. I gotta get better.
Speaker 1: I gotta get better. So you're constantly improving. And then
Speaker 1: when you die, you go to heaven, you're still sinning.
Speaker 1: When that happened, you still you're still a sinner when
Speaker 1: you die, when you're saved, you don't automatically become a
Speaker 1: never again sinner. Right, You're not perfect, you never will be.
Speaker 1: So where does suicide fall in this? Well, as far
Speaker 1: as I've unpacked it, and I've told you guys the
Speaker 1: facts of what the Bible says about death and salvation,
Speaker 1: so suicide comes into play as well. It's a sin,
Speaker 1: it's murder, it's murder. You've murdered yourself. People that have
Speaker 1: gone through this A side note, people that have gone
Speaker 1: through this families, And I want to be sensitive about
Speaker 1: this because I have the utmost respect for families that
Speaker 1: have gone through this. And suicide so many times comes
Speaker 1: through men and women in the military through PTSD. I
Speaker 1: realize through that that many times you're injured, you're injured
Speaker 1: in the brain. You can't see it on a cat scan.
Speaker 1: You can't see it like a like you've lost a limb,
Speaker 1: you know, like like some soldiers have lost an arm. Well,
Speaker 1: you get injured in your brain and you can't see it,
Speaker 1: but it's you're injured. You're affected by something that happened
Speaker 1: in war. And so what they call that instead of
Speaker 1: saying they committed suicide, they say death by suicide, meaning
Speaker 1: they weren't in the right mind. They weren't in their
Speaker 1: right mind when they did that, So they were they
Speaker 1: were murdered by suicide. That does that make sense? So
Speaker 1: that's why they say death by suicide, and it's it's
Speaker 1: it's easier on a family to say that, and it's
Speaker 1: actually more truthful than to say commit suicide, because that
Speaker 1: that implies that the person had full intention of killing
Speaker 1: themselves in their right mind, and it's rarely the case.
Speaker 1: So back to back to sin. Murder is a sin
Speaker 1: and that this is what suicide is, is murder. But
Speaker 1: we know through the Bible that that a sin is
Speaker 1: a sin and through repentance and salvation in this sanctification process,
Speaker 1: as you're working working out your your salvation Ah, then
Speaker 1: sinners can go to heaven. Murders can go to heaven.
Speaker 1: So you see what I'm getting at that My answer is, yes,
Speaker 1: a person that commits suicide or in the in the
Speaker 1: the polite way of saying it, that person that has
Speaker 1: died by suicide absolutely can go to heaven because that
Speaker 1: does not that that didn't break our first rule. Our
Speaker 1: first rule is faith, grace, saved by grace by faith.
Speaker 1: So if they so the answer is in the long
Speaker 1: way that I've been saying this that let me sum
Speaker 1: this up. The answer is if if you're if you're
Speaker 1: a person that you you've seen go to the hospital
Speaker 1: that died by suicide, had faith and accepted Jesus Christ,
Speaker 1: then yes, they'll go to heaven regardless of how they die,
Speaker 1: regardless of they if they were murdered by their own
Speaker 1: hand or someone else's, regardless if they died of old
Speaker 1: age or cancer at a young age. The faith is
Speaker 1: what saves you, not the way that you die, and
Speaker 1: not what you did. The sinner on the cross next
Speaker 1: to Jesus, the thief, was a sinner his whole life,
Speaker 1: and right there on the cross, he looked at Jesus
Speaker 1: and he said, will you remember me when you go
Speaker 1: into your kingdom. Jesus looked right at him and said,
Speaker 1: today you will be with me in paradise. Just like that.
Speaker 1: That's it. It didn't matter how many old ladies across
Speaker 1: he took across the street. It didn't It didn't ever
Speaker 1: he didn't. He couldn't have done enough to make up
Speaker 1: for the thief that he was, But that didn't matter
Speaker 1: to Jesus. It was the faith that saved him. So
Speaker 1: that person that committed suicide, if they had the faith then,
Speaker 1: regardless of the dark time they were in. Suicide is
Speaker 1: a terrible thing that the mind has to be so
Speaker 1: deprived and beat up and broken to commit an act
Speaker 1: like that, But it does not affect the salvation. Only
Speaker 1: the only the faith does. It's a good question. It's
Speaker 1: a good question. I'm just popping around here. Okay, here's one.
Speaker 1: It says husband had an affair after wedding. That's the subject.
Speaker 1: Hey Granger, I recently found out my husband has been
Speaker 1: sleeping with a girl off and on for the last
Speaker 1: two years. They started talking while we were engaged, and
Speaker 1: then met one week after our wedding. I currently have
Speaker 1: a one week old with him, and I found out
Speaker 1: that the last time it happened was while I was pregnant.
Speaker 1: I love him and I want to move past this.
Speaker 1: He said it was strictly sex and he wants to
Speaker 1: go to counseling. Do you think it's possible for a
Speaker 1: relationship to survive this? She didn't. She didn't write her
Speaker 1: name on here, so I'm gonna keep her anonymous. I'll
Speaker 1: start with you. I'll start with the final question. Do
Speaker 1: you think it's possible for a relationship to survive this? Yes?
Speaker 1: I do, I do. It's gonna be a tough road.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be tough road. I'm so sorry. I'm so
Speaker 1: sorry that you're you're in this situation with a one
Speaker 1: week old baby. I just the guy has a problem.
Speaker 1: Your husband, he has a problem, And this sounds like
Speaker 1: it sounds like this is this is something that will
Speaker 1: continue unless something drasticalpens. So yeah, take him up on
Speaker 1: the counseling and hold him to it. And if he
Speaker 1: is this is what I think our campfire talk. We're
Speaker 1: sitting around the campfire. If he breaks the commitment of
Speaker 1: the counseling, you need to let him know that you're
Speaker 1: walking out of this. If he breaks the commitment to
Speaker 1: the counseling, and if he does, you gotta do it.
Speaker 1: You got to stick to you got to stick to
Speaker 1: the threat, stick to what you told him. You got
Speaker 1: to walk out. It's a toxic situation for for this
Speaker 1: this kid to be raised in. And I'm assuming I
Speaker 1: don't know your age, but I'm assuming that with a
Speaker 1: one week old baby, you're maybe twenties or thirties, and
Speaker 1: and there's time for you to rebuild something else. If
Speaker 1: this doesn't work, I think I think it's possible. But
Speaker 1: it's tough. Everyone and listening knows this is tough, and
Speaker 1: it's it's rare. I I personally know people that have
Speaker 1: totally recovered from a situation just like this. I personally
Speaker 1: know marriages that are strong, fathers that are that are
Speaker 1: great dads, great leaders, and uh, it's it's possible, but
Speaker 1: most of us know more stories of this not working,
Speaker 1: of him not fixing this, and he needs to He
Speaker 1: needs to fix this immediately. This is not on you.
Speaker 1: This is not your fault. This is not something you
Speaker 1: have done or or something you're not giving him or
Speaker 1: a way that you look. This is on him. He's
Speaker 1: cheating on you, and that's on him. That's a that's
Speaker 1: a problem he has. So you need to know that,
Speaker 1: and you need to go into counseling with him and
Speaker 1: and be open minded about it and pick a good counselor.
Speaker 1: And if you bail on this counseling, if he says
Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm done, I'm cured, and the counselor says,
Speaker 1: the time's not up yet, that you need more sessions,
Speaker 1: it's time to separate for however long you want to do.
Speaker 1: It's time to it's time to to put some space,
Speaker 1: some time, some space. Take the baby. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: It is possible. Yes, all right, flipping down here, Let's
Speaker 1: let's get one more and take a break. How about
Speaker 1: one that just uh, this is a generic one question
Speaker 1: for the podcast, says Hey Granger, I'm in a kind
Speaker 1: of a tricky situation to make a decision. I graduate
Speaker 1: college in May. I'm working at a sheriff's office part time,
Speaker 1: and I have the opportunity to go into law enforcement academy.
Speaker 1: I want to be deputy. I just don't know if
Speaker 1: I'm ready yet. I'm nineteen years old. I need some
Speaker 1: advice on what to do. Well, Buddy, I think you're,
Speaker 1: first of all, think you're doing His name is Chandler,
Speaker 1: by the way, Chandler. I think you're doing the right
Speaker 1: thing by working at the sheriff's office. I think that's awesome.
Speaker 1: I always encourage people to if you're going to get
Speaker 1: into a field, go work in that field doing something
Speaker 1: else first. You kind of get in the environment. You
Speaker 1: meet the people that are doing it. You meet what
Speaker 1: could be your future boss. Even if you're just taking
Speaker 1: the trash out, you're just working. Even if you're the
Speaker 1: coffee guy, you're making good coffee for everybody. Be someone
Speaker 1: that everyone likes in the office, and be someone that's
Speaker 1: useful for the office. I would start there, and it
Speaker 1: sounds like you're doing that. You have opportunity to go
Speaker 1: into the law enforcement academy. You want to be a deputy,
Speaker 1: and you don't know if you're ready do it. Do it.
Speaker 1: You're nineteen, it's time go into the law enforcement academy.
Speaker 1: You don't have to go into the academy and immediately
Speaker 1: go into law enforcement, but through that process, you're gonna
Speaker 1: be with a lot of other people that are in
Speaker 1: your same boat. You're gonna be in that community, and
Speaker 1: that is key to so many things in life, to
Speaker 1: get into a community of like minded people. And I
Speaker 1: promise you in the academy you're gonna have people like
Speaker 1: you that are going I'm young, I'm still a teenager.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm ready to get into this,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna go, h me too, That's how I
Speaker 1: feel too. And then they're gonna go, really well, let's
Speaker 1: talk about this together as we go through the academy.
Speaker 1: So then you're going through and you're going through tough
Speaker 1: situations that the academy will make for you, and you'll
Speaker 1: go through this bonding process through these tough situations and
Speaker 1: you'll figure it out really quick. You're gonna know, you're
Speaker 1: gonna either gonna know two weeks in you're gonna go,
Speaker 1: you know what this is not for me, I'm out
Speaker 1: or you're gonna go. You know, I didn't think I
Speaker 1: was ready, But that's the whole purpose of the academy
Speaker 1: is to get you ready. Like that's what they do.
Speaker 1: That No one just decides one day they're going to
Speaker 1: be a deputy and goes right into it. So that's
Speaker 1: what the academy does, not only physically and book wise
Speaker 1: get you ready, but mentally your mental toughness gets ready.
Speaker 1: You learn through that. That's what they're there for. So
Speaker 1: by all means, Chandler, do this, do this, take a break,
Speaker 1: be right back. This podcast is brought to you by
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Speaker 1: Better Help will assess your needs and match you with
Speaker 1: your own licensed professional therapist. You'll be matched with a
Speaker 1: therapist in under forty eight hours. It's not a crisis line,
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Speaker 1: online and there's a broad range of expertise available which
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Speaker 1: You get timely and thoughtful responses. Plus you could schedule
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Speaker 1: Get ten percent off off your first month at betterhelp
Speaker 1: dot com slash granger. All right, diving back into these questions,
Speaker 1: if you have one for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. That's what I'm answering here, So you
Speaker 1: ask me, and I'll walk through it with you slowly,
Speaker 1: just like just like I have this fire cooking outside
Speaker 1: right now, outside of this room. We're gonna sit around
Speaker 1: this fire and we're gonna go through your question. Next
Speaker 1: up here it comes from Becky and the subject line says,
Speaker 1: is anybody going to Hell? Uh? Oh? Here we go, Granger.
Speaker 1: First off, love the podcast the Smiths and all your
Speaker 1: values and several of your podcast you say, when we
Speaker 1: are all, we are all sinners, but we are or
Speaker 1: can be forgiven. So who's going to hell? Is the rapist, murder,
Speaker 1: child molester forgivable? If I steal a car and ask
Speaker 1: for forgiveness, do I get to keep the car? Pretty
Speaker 1: sure there's more to making it to heaven than just
Speaker 1: asking for forgiveness of our sins. Thanks for your input,
Speaker 1: Becky Man. That's kind of parallel to the earlier question.
Speaker 1: So Becky, you're correct, You're correct, there is more to
Speaker 1: making it to heaven than just asking for forgiveness of sins. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: I didn't say that. I wouldn't have said that because
Speaker 1: that's just not correct. And once again I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: that I am. I am not writing these letters. I
Speaker 1: am just delivering the mail to you. Okay. I'm not
Speaker 1: giving you an opinion when it comes to this stuff.
Speaker 1: I'll give you the opinion when it comes to going
Speaker 1: to law enforcement school, right to the academy. I'll give
Speaker 1: you the opinion when your husband's cheating on you, that's
Speaker 1: just purely my opinion. But when you're going to ask
Speaker 1: a question that's biblical, I'm not going to give you
Speaker 1: an opinion. When I know that there is a biblical
Speaker 1: answer that is the word of God, and that's what
Speaker 1: we as Christians believe that the Bible and the Bible
Speaker 1: alone is the word of God. Christians believe that the
Speaker 1: Bible and the Bible alone is the word of God,
Speaker 1: and the Bible says that, yes, there's more and making
Speaker 1: it to Heaven than just asking for forgiveness of our sins.
Speaker 1: It's not It is faith in Jesus. You're saved by
Speaker 1: grace through faith in Jesus. You're saved by grace through
Speaker 1: faith in Jesus. Faith. Another word for faith is belief, belief,
Speaker 1: belief belief. The belief comes from grace. Grace is an
Speaker 1: unmerited gift. Grace is an unmerited gift, and you're saved
Speaker 1: by it through faith. The faith is also a gift.
Speaker 1: That's the tricky part. You are saved by grace through faith,
Speaker 1: you believe. I don't think I don't think I need
Speaker 1: to say it a fifth time. I think I'm clear. Now.
Speaker 1: After faith, after after your faith, you you will repent,
Speaker 1: you will ask for forgiveness. You will hate your sin slowly.
Speaker 1: That's called sanctification. I'm gonna I'm just gonna go ahead
Speaker 1: and say these things again. Even though I said it
Speaker 1: earlier on this podcast, I want to say it one
Speaker 1: more time, just to make make sure that this question
Speaker 1: is heard. Becky, and I think it's a great question,
Speaker 1: by the way. I think it's it's a it's a
Speaker 1: great question, and it's it's very understandable because it's easy
Speaker 1: to think, Wait a minute, you're saying you did. I
Speaker 1: hear you say you're saved by grace through faith. But
Speaker 1: what about murder. Let's I could just go out and
Speaker 1: kill somebody tomorrow. You could just I could just go
Speaker 1: I could say, yeah, I believe in Jesus, and I
Speaker 1: go kill somebody and I still go to heaven. You
Speaker 1: won't want to you won't want to. And as we
Speaker 1: said earlier, James too says faith without works is dead.
Speaker 1: What he means is the works as a result of
Speaker 1: the faith. And if if you don't have the works,
Speaker 1: then you have to consider, maybe I don't have the
Speaker 1: faith to begin with. If I'm willing to go out
Speaker 1: and murder and be and not care and not be,
Speaker 1: not be have a repentful mind about it, If I'm
Speaker 1: willing to do that over and over and over, then
Speaker 1: you probably didn't have the faith that it required to
Speaker 1: begin with. Right, It probably wasn't real. As James says,
Speaker 1: it was probably dead. And that's that's a that's a
Speaker 1: good sign for you. That's a good that's a good
Speaker 1: barometer because because and I could speak for myself in
Speaker 1: my life, it's you can't just say I believe. You
Speaker 1: can't just say it. You can't just say it and
Speaker 1: it's done right. You can't be fifteen years old and
Speaker 1: you go to your church and you get baptized, and
Speaker 1: you go they say do you believe in Jesus? And
Speaker 1: you say yes. They said, do you accept Jesus into
Speaker 1: your heart? You say yes, and it's just lip service,
Speaker 1: and then you go out the next day and you're like,
Speaker 1: you're like pickpocketing people for cash and going buying and
Speaker 1: selling drugs and paying prostitutes. Okay, then obviously when you
Speaker 1: said that at church, it wasn't real. It wasn't from
Speaker 1: your heart. You haven't dove into the word and and
Speaker 1: craving the word, like diving in and praying our fervent prayer,
Speaker 1: like God, God, God, save me, poor your spirit in
Speaker 1: to let me trust you, let me believe you, let
Speaker 1: me know this. Increase my faith. My faith is wavering here.
Speaker 1: I'd feel unbalanced. I don't know if this whole thing
Speaker 1: is real for me or not. Increase that. Show yourself,
Speaker 1: be present to me. These are things that you see
Speaker 1: in the Bible. David says, this kind of stuff in
Speaker 1: the Psalms a lot. You see this, you see you
Speaker 1: see show yourself. Don't hide your face from me. Pour
Speaker 1: your spirit Him into me God. So these are things
Speaker 1: that you need to be saying if you have doubt
Speaker 1: and if you are still what did you say a
Speaker 1: rapist and a murder in a child molester? Because the
Speaker 1: answer is to you, is a rapist, a child molester,
Speaker 1: a murder forgivable? The answer is absolutely yes, yes, and
Speaker 1: all the ears of the podcast said, ouch, did he
Speaker 1: really just say that? Yes, because we're all sinners, we're
Speaker 1: all dead in our trespasses. We all need to be reborn,
Speaker 1: we all need the grace of God to save us.
Speaker 1: And we can't rank ourselves as sinners. We can't rak
Speaker 1: ourselves and go, well, I mean, yes, I'm a sinner
Speaker 1: every once in a while to tell a lie. Okay,
Speaker 1: every once in a while, I'll steal a song on
Speaker 1: the internet, I'll download a free song. But at least
Speaker 1: I'm not a rapist like God. God hates the rapist.
Speaker 1: So I steal, like I lie a little bit, like
Speaker 1: I break the first commandment, which is put God first,
Speaker 1: basically put God above all. There are no other gods
Speaker 1: above him. Well, I mean, I really love my job,
Speaker 1: and I really love this and that. But you know,
Speaker 1: at least I'm not a murderer, so God doesn't rank us.
Speaker 1: He looks at us all as broken sinners and then
Speaker 1: we're saved by grace through faith. And so I hope.
Speaker 1: I wish Becky we could have a back and forth
Speaker 1: a little bit, so then you could ask me your
Speaker 1: second question. It's hard for me just to answer your
Speaker 1: question one time and not hear what you're gonna say back,
Speaker 1: but the people going to hell. To answer your question, So,
Speaker 1: who is going to hell? That's what you asked. The
Speaker 1: people that weren't saved by grace through faith, that's it.
Speaker 1: Those are the people going to hell, the people that
Speaker 1: weren't saved by grace through faith, not the people that
Speaker 1: committed the least amount of murder or the people that
Speaker 1: never got into child molesting. Like, well, those people are
Speaker 1: definitely going to hell, and I never did that, So
Speaker 1: I guess I'm good. No, No, you and me are
Speaker 1: just as bad. And God is God. In God I
Speaker 1: God's eyes, Me and you are just as bad is
Speaker 1: the child molester. Can you believe that? That's it's crazy.
Speaker 1: We've broken all these commandments. We are rebellious people. And
Speaker 1: that's the beauty of grace. It's unmerited gift. He saved
Speaker 1: us when we didn't even deserve to be saved, and
Speaker 1: that's why we worship. That's why we say God, thank you.
Speaker 1: That was a sinner undeserving of salvation, and you saved
Speaker 1: me anyway, And I'll worship you forever because of that,
Speaker 1: because you rescued me. I had no hope. Some people say, well,
Speaker 1: it's like God throws you a life life raft and
Speaker 1: you got to go swim and grab it, and then
Speaker 1: God pulls you in. I don't believe that. I believe
Speaker 1: it's more like you're at the bottom of the ocean dead.
Speaker 1: You're dead. That's what dead in your trespassage means. You
Speaker 1: didn't have a chance to swim to a life raft,
Speaker 1: because if you did, that would be a work like
Speaker 1: that would be you're making the effort. You're dead. He
Speaker 1: grabs you the bottom of the ocean and plops you
Speaker 1: out on the beach and then breathe life back into you.
Speaker 1: That's salvation. You're saved by grace through faith. It is
Speaker 1: not by works. I'm just basically bouncing off of Ephesians two,
Speaker 1: eight and nine. Look it up Ephesians two, verse eight
Speaker 1: and nine. I'm bouncing that just like versions of that
Speaker 1: back and forth because it keeps popping into my mind. Becky,
Speaker 1: thank you for this question. All right, man, where are
Speaker 1: we going? Now? Bring up the inbox and you never
Speaker 1: know where we're going? Right? How about this subjectline says
Speaker 1: decision making about a relationship. Hey, grangeer, I'm a new
Speaker 1: listener of your podcast and has opened me up and
Speaker 1: to see what the positives are in life. That's interesting.
Speaker 1: My name is Drew. I'm nineteen years old from Illinois.
Speaker 1: My question is I've broken up with a girl I
Speaker 1: met in high school about three months ago. The breakup
Speaker 1: was mutual, but I still have feelings for her and
Speaker 1: we still talk to this day. The reason we broke
Speaker 1: up was because of the lack of time to hang
Speaker 1: out and her going to college far away from where
Speaker 1: I'm at. I've had a lot of time to think
Speaker 1: about it, but I would like to date her again.
Speaker 1: Do you think that's a good idea if we go
Speaker 1: out again, or if I should just move on? And
Speaker 1: if so, what's the best way to ask her about
Speaker 1: what I'm feeling. Okay, Drew shout out to Illinois. Thank
Speaker 1: you for the for the question. Here here's my thoughts
Speaker 1: on this. We're back to my opinions. Okay, this is
Speaker 1: not facts, this is my opinions here, brother, she broke
Speaker 1: up with you, well, you say that, you say it
Speaker 1: was mutual, but she's going away to college and you
Speaker 1: guys didn't have time to hang out and her college
Speaker 1: is far away. I don't think it's hard without you here.
Speaker 1: But I don't think she thinks this is mutual. And
Speaker 1: that's my guess, is the reason you emailed me is
Speaker 1: because you're not sure if she thinks the getting back
Speaker 1: together thing is mutual. Maybe the breakup was mutual, but
Speaker 1: the getting back together this sounds like she's going to
Speaker 1: college and needs some space. What you're feeling is totally
Speaker 1: natural to have this relationship and then you break and
Speaker 1: then you're thinking, was this a mistake? Maybe I shouldn't
Speaker 1: have done this, Maybe I need her back. All I
Speaker 1: think about is her. Everyone listening right now has been
Speaker 1: through this where you're like at that rebound stage, and
Speaker 1: you know, the first time you want to rebound, it's
Speaker 1: always to the original person, Like you always want to
Speaker 1: rebound to the person that you just broke up with,
Speaker 1: and then when you find out that's not gonna work,
Speaker 1: you rebound to somebody else. That's always what happens. So
Speaker 1: I got a bad feeling about this, Drew. I got
Speaker 1: a bad feeling that she's off to college and far away,
Speaker 1: and you guys didn't have time, and neither one of
Speaker 1: those two things is fixed yet. So you broke up
Speaker 1: for a reason two reasons, and neither one of those
Speaker 1: reasons have resolved. But your feelings are that you should
Speaker 1: get back with her, and you're gonna end up right
Speaker 1: back in the same situation on once that newness wears
Speaker 1: off again, once that infatuation starts dolling down a little
Speaker 1: bit when you're back with her, because in our minds,
Speaker 1: we just have this, we have this feeling of the chase,
Speaker 1: like we want the chase, we want to get the girl.
Speaker 1: I want to get the girl. But so many times
Speaker 1: when we get them, that's when you find out what's
Speaker 1: really going on is when you get them, when the
Speaker 1: chase is over, then what then does the feeling get stronger?
Speaker 1: Are you? It's the chase over and it's kind of
Speaker 1: no more cat and mouse, Like I got her and
Speaker 1: now we're back to talking about we don't have time
Speaker 1: and she lives far away, so I got a bad
Speaker 1: feeling about it. Drew, I'd pump the brakes on this one.
Speaker 1: I'd hold off a little bit. If you want to
Speaker 1: talk to her about it. You guys were in a relationship.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything wrong with calling her and
Speaker 1: just saying can I talk to you about something? I
Speaker 1: just I still have feelings for you. I'd love to
Speaker 1: go on another date and just read her like read reader,
Speaker 1: take her temperature on this right and if she's like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I mean we still don't have time,
Speaker 1: then you need to mentally then go yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't think she's into it right now. I got a
Speaker 1: bad feeling about it, Drew. I would hold tight. I
Speaker 1: would hold tight. She's going to come home from college.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking she's going to come home for and then
Speaker 1: you're going to get some extra time together and you'll
Speaker 1: find out more than Thanks for the question, brother, All right,
Speaker 1: back to the inbox. Subject line here is depression and death.
Speaker 1: Hey Granger. First, sorry if I misspell any words or
Speaker 1: a bad grammar. No worries, brother. I love your music
Speaker 1: and YouTube and podcast. The second part of the question
Speaker 1: is I lost my mom five years ago. My daughter
Speaker 1: started going into depression after my mom died. She's fifteen now.
Speaker 1: Three years ago she started to smoke weed. Two years ago,
Speaker 1: she started drinking. My wife and I have tried so
Speaker 1: hard to support her, taking her to counselors and doctors,
Speaker 1: till a week ago she tried to commit suicide. It
Speaker 1: was very scary since that happened. My wife and I
Speaker 1: are going back to church. How can I support her?
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall.
Speaker 1: I too, have been struggling since the death of my mom.
Speaker 1: It scares me the thought of leaving my family again.
Speaker 1: My wife and I have gone back to church, and
Speaker 1: I feel lost. I've tried to hide this from my
Speaker 1: family and so I could be a rock for them,
Speaker 1: but it's hard. Give it to me straight, I could
Speaker 1: take it. Thanks for any help, Sincerely, Jeff Lansing, Michigan. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you lost your mom five
Speaker 1: years ago. Your daughter, your daughter needs to go with
Speaker 1: you to church. You took her to counselors, you took
Speaker 1: her to doctors. I need you to, I need you
Speaker 1: to take her along. I need you to I need
Speaker 1: you to dive into the Bible. I need you to
Speaker 1: read the Bible. Why. Well, besides the fact that it's
Speaker 1: the Word of God and it's our instruction manual as humans,
Speaker 1: but second of all, you're gonna find suffering, You're gonna
Speaker 1: find death, You're gonna find anxiety, You're gonna find restoration,
Speaker 1: you're gonna find grace, you're gonna find rebuilding, You're gonna
Speaker 1: find restoring, You're gonna find the love of God transparent
Speaker 1: through all of that heartache, through all of that death
Speaker 1: and depression and anxiety and pain, you're gonna see this
Speaker 1: overwhelming lining through it. God doesn't eliminate suffering. He ordains
Speaker 1: it and takes us through the fire so that we
Speaker 1: can come out the other side with him. That's the
Speaker 1: power of God. There's no power in God of just
Speaker 1: helping us miss the suffering, like helping us avoid it
Speaker 1: or deleting it from our lives. Instead, when He walks
Speaker 1: us through it and we come out the other side
Speaker 1: with him, we realize that's the power of God. We
Speaker 1: made it, and we now we feel peace and hope
Speaker 1: and rest and love. These are things that you could
Speaker 1: learn through those pages in the Bible. Church is a
Speaker 1: good thing to start with. It's a good it's a
Speaker 1: good kickstart taking Taking your daughter. You guys praying together,
Speaker 1: you said, look, you said, give it to me straight.
Speaker 1: I could take it. I would take her in. You
Speaker 1: didn't say her name. I would take her in with
Speaker 1: your wife, the three of you in your living room,
Speaker 1: and I would put I'd put my hands. I would
Speaker 1: make a circle out of the three of you, hands
Speaker 1: on each other and just say God, we're lost. Since
Speaker 1: Mom died, we're lost and my daughter is going through
Speaker 1: a rough time. We don't know what to do. We're
Speaker 1: we're looking for answers. Where can we find them? God,
Speaker 1: give us, give us, give us your peace, give us
Speaker 1: your direction. Show us that your purpose matters. This path
Speaker 1: that we're on is leading to something. Show us that
Speaker 1: this struggle and this pain is not worthless. It's meaning full,
Speaker 1: not meaning less. Show us that the death of Mom
Speaker 1: wasn't an accident, that is that just is a mistake.
Speaker 1: Show us that it matters. Show us that this pain,
Speaker 1: in these tears that we've had for her and for
Speaker 1: my daughter and through the struggle, Show us that these
Speaker 1: tears are not wasted. They're affecting us. They're growing us,
Speaker 1: They're building us for a purpose that only you have
Speaker 1: painted this beautiful picture of Do that in your living
Speaker 1: room with your hands on each other, and then see
Speaker 1: what happens. Let's grab another one here. This one says
Speaker 1: subject line picking where to start my career? Hey Grangeard,
Speaker 1: my name is Josh I'm eighteen, just graduated high school.
Speaker 1: Earlier in a year. I am now being asked by
Speaker 1: so many people what am I going to do to
Speaker 1: start my career? And I say nothing right now. To
Speaker 1: be honest, I just don't know where to start. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I should start with something simple like
Speaker 1: work at the gas station or fast food, or just
Speaker 1: somewhere plain and easy and to get the money flowing.
Speaker 1: I guess what I'm getting at is I don't know
Speaker 1: where to go from here, and I could use some advice.
Speaker 1: Josh Brother, thank you for the question. I love this question,
Speaker 1: and I wish you were with me at the campfire
Speaker 1: right now, because I would say, bro, here, take this
Speaker 1: seat right next to me, let's talk. You're eighteen, you
Speaker 1: just graduated high school, and what to do now? Well,
Speaker 1: I would start immediately immediately, and I would if this
Speaker 1: was me, I'd get a pen and paper and I'd
Speaker 1: start writing stuff out. What do I like? What do
Speaker 1: I enjoy in life? And maybe one of the answers
Speaker 1: is I just like to be around Pete. I like
Speaker 1: to be around people that are like me. I like
Speaker 1: to grow. I like to grow and learn something new. Man.
Speaker 1: I like I like hunting, I like I love food.
Speaker 1: He man I like, I got a kind of a
Speaker 1: wild side to me. I like working security or some
Speaker 1: kind of law enforcement. Hey, man, I uh, I kind
Speaker 1: of I'm up for a world traveling adventure. The Army,
Speaker 1: the Marine Corps, the Navy, which, by the way, yeah,
Speaker 1: just saying, buddy, you know the Army, the Marines, the Navy,
Speaker 1: you know these, You know they have recruiters that are
Speaker 1: looking for people just like you that are going, Man,
Speaker 1: I'm Josh, and I'm I've just graduated and I'm looking
Speaker 1: I don't have an answer to where I go next,
Speaker 1: And they go, we got an answer for you, just
Speaker 1: saying there's a local recruiter around you right now. But
Speaker 1: other than that, And I secretly hope you do that, Josh,
Speaker 1: and then email me back and say, and I went
Speaker 1: to the Army. But whatever you do, wherever you go,
Speaker 1: and that that pen and paper that you have and
Speaker 1: you've you've written down these ideas. Take those ideas, circle,
Speaker 1: circle a few options, and you get online and you
Speaker 1: start looking at some one ads, or you just go
Speaker 1: go to some businesses and just go are you guys,
Speaker 1: are you guys taking applications for new employees? Maybe it
Speaker 1: is fast food, Maybe it is the gas station. Walk
Speaker 1: to the gas station, say are you looking for h
Speaker 1: are you hiring? Say it. They'll say yeah, we're we're hiring,
Speaker 1: and you go, well, here's my resume. I love to
Speaker 1: talk about this job. But whatever you do and wherever
Speaker 1: you go, do your best. Edit if you if you go,
Speaker 1: say you go fast food, You're gonna go to Burger
Speaker 1: King and you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna start at
Speaker 1: the desk and you're you're taking orders, and then you're
Speaker 1: gonna graduate to flipping burgers. Crush it, Josh, crush it.
Speaker 1: Don't ski it for around, don't be late, stay a
Speaker 1: little bit later than you're supposed to get there, a
Speaker 1: little bit earlier than you're supposed to be nice to everyone,
Speaker 1: and just crush it. Crush it. Count the money right,
Speaker 1: get the register closed out, make sure you're you you're sweeping.
Speaker 1: If don't, don't ever be sitting around doing nothing, stay
Speaker 1: off of your phone. Grab a grab a mop. If
Speaker 1: if you're not doing anything, grab a mop and start
Speaker 1: working until your boss comes in and goes what are
Speaker 1: you doing? And go, oh, sorry, boss, I had a
Speaker 1: little extra time, so I thought i'd mop right here.
Speaker 1: He'd say, Josh, well that I didn't ask you to
Speaker 1: mop mop Mopping is not part of your job. And
Speaker 1: you go, yes, sir, Well, if you don't need me to,
Speaker 1: I won't. But I just I want to. I want
Speaker 1: this place clean. I just want to be the best
Speaker 1: I can for you. Hey, buddy, it's not a kiss
Speaker 1: up to do that. A kiss up is when you
Speaker 1: do that and you don't really mean it, and you're
Speaker 1: not really doing it. But if you mean it and
Speaker 1: and your heart is in it, like you actually do
Speaker 1: care about keeping that floor clean. That's not a kid.
Speaker 1: And that guy your boss is going to go, Man,
Speaker 1: I'm only paying this guy minimum wage, and I could
Speaker 1: easily lose him to any other job. I better start
Speaker 1: thinking about giving him a raise, and I better start
Speaker 1: thinking about some kind of management position for him. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying you could work your way up from burger
Speaker 1: king to owning your franchise. It is definitely possible with
Speaker 1: that kind of attitude. Be there early, stay there late,
Speaker 1: never sit around, don't be caught on your phone, be
Speaker 1: nice to everyone. Keep your clothes clean, keep your shirt
Speaker 1: tucked in whatever your uniform you're wearing. Keep your shoes clean.
Speaker 1: Don't track mud in there, sweep up, wipe the counters.
Speaker 1: Do your best. Be someone that they cannot replace. I've
Speaker 1: said that before on this podcast. Be the guy that
Speaker 1: they can't replace. And so when he has some kind
Speaker 1: of budget cut and he's looking to cut some people out,
Speaker 1: he's like, well, not Josh. I'm definitely not cutting Josh.
Speaker 1: He's my best guy. And when he's not working the
Speaker 1: cash register, he's sweeping. When he's not sweeping, he's taking
Speaker 1: out the trash. When he's not taking out the trash,
Speaker 1: he's wiping off tables. And I don't even ask him
Speaker 1: to do that kind of stuff. Not Josh. Josh is
Speaker 1: my best guy. Be the best guy. That's your deal, Josh,
Speaker 1: that's what you're gonna do. I appreciate you guys. Thank
Speaker 1: you for listening. We'll see you next Monday. Yeegee, thanks
Speaker 1: for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all
Speaker 1: of you guys. You could help me out by rating
Speaker 1: this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to
Speaker 1: this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell
Speaker 1: so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would
Speaker 1: like me to answer. Email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Yige