WEBVTT - Comics Dating Comics with Taylor Tomlinson

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<v Speaker 1>Hi, everybody, It's me Chelsea and Catherine. Hello. Hi, how

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<v Speaker 1>are you Catherine? Oh, I'm good. I actually got a

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<v Speaker 1>little chance to rest and relax over the weekend, which

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<v Speaker 1>was really nice, and watch some shows and hung out

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<v Speaker 1>with my husband and it was really lovely. I have

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<v Speaker 1>been watching yellow Stone because my girlfriend Wendy Grillo is

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<v Speaker 1>in it, and everyone in Whistler watches the show yellow Stone.

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<v Speaker 1>So I am on season two or three, and I

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<v Speaker 1>think there's four very very soap operatic. A lot of

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<v Speaker 1>soap opera stuff is happening on that show, and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>down with it. Awesome. I know, I've been thinking about

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<v Speaker 1>watching it. My parents really like it, but like my

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<v Speaker 1>dad's really into Western stuff anyway. I mean I like

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<v Speaker 1>Western stuff too, but everyone is talking about it. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not as into Western stuff like my friends here was like,

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<v Speaker 1>I just love the landscape. I'm like, really, it just

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<v Speaker 1>seems like so fucking boring living on a ranch and

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<v Speaker 1>just drinking. I mean, i'd the drinking part, obviously, I

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<v Speaker 1>could down with. But the cattle and then the horse

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<v Speaker 1>breaking horses, I'm just like, oh, but speaking of breaking horses,

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<v Speaker 1>Joe isn't possibly bringing Burton Bernice back for ten days

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<v Speaker 1>sabbatical up here and Whistler because last year I had

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<v Speaker 1>them the whole season and they were not down with it.

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<v Speaker 1>They did not like being stuck in like a house

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<v Speaker 1>without access to the outdoors. They're used to their luxurious,

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<v Speaker 1>leisurely lifestyle in Los Angeles, and so we're thinking about

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<v Speaker 1>bringing them up for like ten days just so I

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<v Speaker 1>could see them and maybe give them a second shot

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<v Speaker 1>at SNOW. I feel like with Joe's co parenting, I

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<v Speaker 1>could really hit it out of the park because he's

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<v Speaker 1>been really helpful, like with the laundry, with the cleaning.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what I did last year, but he's

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<v Speaker 1>and if I had to take the dogs for a walk,

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<v Speaker 1>he would definitely be really helpful in that department. Two,

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<v Speaker 1>So I just feel like I'm a two I'm I'm

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<v Speaker 1>a member of a two person team now instead of

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<v Speaker 1>a one person team. Isn't that lovely? And Bird has

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<v Speaker 1>already started calling him dad. Let's say you guys aren't married,

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<v Speaker 1>but like he's your house spouse. He's like the guy. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and he's much better at things like domestic stuff than

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<v Speaker 1>I am. So it really works. Although I did make

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<v Speaker 1>him I make him scrambled eggs a lot in the morning,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's the one thing I can hit out of

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<v Speaker 1>the park. But every time I make them, he's like,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't believe it. You can do something, and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>stop it. You know I can make a scrambled eggs. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>hold on a second, what are you looking for, honey? Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>you don't have it. I'd like to go on the

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<v Speaker 1>record and say that Joe is the only person that

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<v Speaker 1>would look for his passport twenty minutes before he's leaving

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<v Speaker 1>for something. If I was leaving, I would have my

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<v Speaker 1>passport the night before. Well, somebody would have it. Let's

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<v Speaker 1>be honest. I wouldn't find it. But I mean, he

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<v Speaker 1>is unbelievable. He probably doesn't even know he's going to

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<v Speaker 1>the airport in twenty minutes. Do you know you're going

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<v Speaker 1>to the airport, honey? And where are you going when

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<v Speaker 1>you get to the airport? Sorry? Uh? Yeah. I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like I'm definitely more powerful as part of a cup. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>then I am by myself in the parenting department, the

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<v Speaker 1>domesticity and parenting department. That's great, and it'll be just

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<v Speaker 1>nice to have the dogs there and Chelsea, I actually

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<v Speaker 1>have an update. A few weeks ago, we had an

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<v Speaker 1>email from someone who's child had kissed their friend without

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<v Speaker 1>consent and it created a huge rift between her and

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<v Speaker 1>her best friend, the mom and her best friend, and

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<v Speaker 1>between the children as well. But a dad wrote in

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<v Speaker 1>who has had similar experience, and he says, Dear Chelsea,

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<v Speaker 1>I just listened to your episode where you gave advice

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<v Speaker 1>to the mom with the son who is sexually inappropriate

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<v Speaker 1>with one of his friends. As a parent with a

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<v Speaker 1>child with behavioral issues, there is help out there. The

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<v Speaker 1>mom should find a therapist that specializes in family therapy

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<v Speaker 1>and problem sexual behavior. Even though the young boy has

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<v Speaker 1>committed the offense, her whole family is affected and needs

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<v Speaker 1>help not only working on the specifics of consent, but

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<v Speaker 1>also with helping to set boundaries and finding what the

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<v Speaker 1>underlying issues are that led to this situation. We used

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<v Speaker 1>some great workbooks specifically geared toward children. A quick Google

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<v Speaker 1>or Amazon search on consent for kids shows quite a

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<v Speaker 1>few resources. I would suggest the therapist has some go

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<v Speaker 1>to tools as well. Additionally, many therapists also use something

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<v Speaker 1>called restorative justice, which could include writing an apology letter

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<v Speaker 1>to the victim. This may help the mom with mending

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<v Speaker 1>her relationship with her friend if she shares and includes

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<v Speaker 1>her in the plan and the outcome of therapy. Lastly,

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<v Speaker 1>the mom may be concerned about what this means for

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<v Speaker 1>her son as he develops into a teen and adult.

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<v Speaker 1>There was a study done in by the Association for

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<v Speaker 1>the Treatment of Sexual Abusers that found that adolescents who

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<v Speaker 1>offended once and found treatment were highly unlikely to repeat

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<v Speaker 1>their offense. It's just so important for her to get

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<v Speaker 1>professional help for her son and her family so this

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't become a repeat behavior. Hope this is helpful. Don.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, well that's good to know. That's a good resource.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you Don for writing in. Thanks, yeah, thanks for

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<v Speaker 1>paying attention. I would never want to be I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>that must be so hard to be a mother that

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<v Speaker 1>has to deal with that, and when it's your own

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<v Speaker 1>child doing that, you know, and I'm sure you just

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<v Speaker 1>feel from Don that he felt that isolating situation when

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<v Speaker 1>he went through it and wanted to reach out. So

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<v Speaker 1>I just wanted to share that with everybody. Oh, well,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you for sharing. Should we introduce our guest for today.

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<v Speaker 1>So our guest today is another stand up comedian. You

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<v Speaker 1>may know her from her Netflix special which is called

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<v Speaker 1>quarter Life Crisis. Her name is Taylor Tomlinson. She has

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<v Speaker 1>an Instagram series called New Couple Gets Quarantined with her

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<v Speaker 1>boyfriend Sam Burel, and she also has a podcast called

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<v Speaker 1>Sad in the City and a new Netflix special that

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<v Speaker 1>is coming out soon. So please welcome Taylor Tomlinson. Hi, Taylor, Hello,

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<v Speaker 1>it's nice to finally meet you. Nice to meet you.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you for having me. I know, I can't believe

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<v Speaker 1>we've never met. We have met so briefly when I

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<v Speaker 1>was much younger that you would not remember for any reason.

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<v Speaker 1>As my boy friend Joe Koy likes to remind me,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have a memory past six weeks or six months,

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<v Speaker 1>depending on the topic and the person, so I wouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>remember anyway. But it's nice to see you. I know you,

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<v Speaker 1>and I loved your special, quarter Life Crisis on Netflix.

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<v Speaker 1>I loved that special, and I've been loving your series

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<v Speaker 1>with your boyfriend Sam. More real about am I saying

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<v Speaker 1>that right? Moral? Real morals. I'm just gonna call him

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<v Speaker 1>Sam Morals. Samurel. Yeah, which is called New Couple Gets Quarantined.

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<v Speaker 1>So you were in a new relationship. I know during quarantine,

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<v Speaker 1>which has now gone on for I don't know, almost

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<v Speaker 1>two years. Yeah, that was a little web series we

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<v Speaker 1>did during lockdown. That kept us busy during those first

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<v Speaker 1>few months of terror for sure, because we're both workaholics,

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<v Speaker 1>so we couldn't just stop and go, oh, look a break. Right. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>that's probably what a lot of couples should have done,

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<v Speaker 1>is just started recording themselves, right, so that there was

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<v Speaker 1>an eyewitness account to everyone's behavior. I think it's a

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<v Speaker 1>really solid idea. Uh, it is, it really is. Uh

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<v Speaker 1>And I mean we did a podcast too during that time.

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<v Speaker 1>I saw you had rosebud Baker on and she and

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<v Speaker 1>her husband Annie Haynes started one and they're still doing it,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was like, man, we craped out as soon

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<v Speaker 1>as the world opened back up again. We were like,

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<v Speaker 1>that was just a coping mechanism for us. They've really

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<v Speaker 1>they've really built something blasting. Yeah, they've really sunk it

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<v Speaker 1>into it because also I think her husband just got COVID, right,

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<v Speaker 1>and so she had to quarantine with him again. Oh yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>So they're just they just keep quarantining and quarantined in

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<v Speaker 1>with every new variant they have another they have another

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<v Speaker 1>ten days together. Yeah, we we have not gotten COVID

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<v Speaker 1>that we know of. I guess, did you get COVID?

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<v Speaker 1>I have not gotten COVID yet. Isn't that crazy? Are

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<v Speaker 1>you surprised? We're like, we don't know how we haven't

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<v Speaker 1>gotten it at this point. Normally I would consider myself

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<v Speaker 1>to be some sort of super spreader. So I am

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<v Speaker 1>very surprised by the fact that I haven't caught it

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<v Speaker 1>or given it to several people, because, especially in the beginning,

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<v Speaker 1>and now I've lost interest in even trying to protect myself,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean, Like, I just want to

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<v Speaker 1>get it and get it over with so that I

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<v Speaker 1>have some higher level of immunity. But I got I'm

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<v Speaker 1>in Whistler, Canada right now. And I got here and

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<v Speaker 1>my girlfriend was just recuperating from COVID and I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what, I'm coming over. I don't care. She's like,

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<v Speaker 1>she goes, I might still be infectious. And I was like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I have a test hit we'll we'll test you and

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<v Speaker 1>we get over there on Joe test already looks at me, goes, Chelsea,

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<v Speaker 1>She's positive. You're like, I know, like my face, I know.

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<v Speaker 1>We're like, who cares and we're in her garage. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>like on triple backs. I've got my booster. I'm like, whatever,

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<v Speaker 1>let's just get it already. And we're in her garage

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<v Speaker 1>and so we're all, you know, she's wearing a mask,

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<v Speaker 1>We're standing like far apart, the doors open. It was

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<v Speaker 1>so stupid. And then finally I was like, it's cold,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, because it's snowy and everything, and she put

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<v Speaker 1>on a space heater and then she shut the garage

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<v Speaker 1>door and shows like, hey, this is getting a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit much like now, we're just trying to It's just

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<v Speaker 1>like a culture swab of us trying to get sick.

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<v Speaker 1>But we still didn't get it. So I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>if there's blood types that are not getting it, like

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<v Speaker 1>I think, you know, oh blood type doesn't isn't as susceptible. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's what they said. I think that's the only thing

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<v Speaker 1>that I've been like, is that a thing, because I

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<v Speaker 1>think I'm oh, yeah, I think most people are. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>so that doesn't really add up either, But who fucking cares.

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<v Speaker 1>I normally I consider myself to be some sort of

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<v Speaker 1>medical doctor, so I should have more information on these things.

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<v Speaker 1>But I've my passion for COVID has lapsed. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have the same passion for it as I

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<v Speaker 1>used to. Yeah, I don't feel like actual doctors go

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<v Speaker 1>around going I'm a medical doctor. Yeah, they don't have

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<v Speaker 1>to introduce themselves the way that I do to get

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<v Speaker 1>people to take me seriously in the medical field. So

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<v Speaker 1>I want to talk to you about Well, let's talk

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<v Speaker 1>first about your stand up experience coming up. Because you're

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<v Speaker 1>from l A, right, I'm from California. Yeah, yeah, not

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<v Speaker 1>l A proper, but I'm from California where I grew

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<v Speaker 1>up up by like Sacramento until I was like ten,

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<v Speaker 1>and then I was in river Side County from the

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<v Speaker 1>time I was like ten till college. If you know

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<v Speaker 1>where Temecula is, unfortunately I do. I've performed there in Temecula,

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<v Speaker 1>I believe. Yes, of course, all casinos all the time. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>they've got a big they've got a big, beautiful theater there.

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<v Speaker 1>You've performed there too, I'm sure, right, not the theater.

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<v Speaker 1>I have not performed in the theater. I think I

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<v Speaker 1>did the club there, which I don't even know if

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<v Speaker 1>that's still open. I mean, I will never perform in

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<v Speaker 1>Temecula if I can help it. There are a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of places where I've performed once and said I'll never

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<v Speaker 1>perform there again, and then found myself there, either this

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<v Speaker 1>last year or the year before going Wait, I thought

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<v Speaker 1>I crossed this off the fucking list, you know, And

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<v Speaker 1>then you get there and you're like, you feel you

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<v Speaker 1>like because the audiences are so appreciative. When people come

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<v Speaker 1>through the kind of like less inviting cities, the audiences

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<v Speaker 1>are awesome. So you leave there with the feeling of like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I want to show up for these people, like yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and then a month goes by and you're like, really,

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<v Speaker 1>can't go back there, right right? But to Mecula is

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<v Speaker 1>so funny because it's an hour drive from San Diego

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<v Speaker 1>and it's like two hours from l A. And I'm

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<v Speaker 1>kind of like, guys, drive to a cooler place, just exactly, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>just go, you know, It's it's not that far. But

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<v Speaker 1>I think Temecula is like it's like a great place

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<v Speaker 1>to have a family, I guess. But if you're like twenties,

0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:30.679
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, what are you doing here? Guys? Right, So

0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:33.440
<v Speaker 1>you came from a really like conservative background, is that

0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:36.560
<v Speaker 1>how you grew up religious. Yeah, I grew up super religious,

0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:40.040
<v Speaker 1>very Christian. Oh so how did that? How did that

0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:42.240
<v Speaker 1>all work out for you? As you came into your

0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:46.400
<v Speaker 1>own and your stand up career, when did you kind of, um, well, no,

0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:50.160
<v Speaker 1>you tell me. Did you break ties with religion? Absolutely? Yeah.

0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:53.440
<v Speaker 1>It's it's weird because the way I started doing stand

0:11:53.520 --> 0:11:55.120
<v Speaker 1>up is I started when I was a junior in

0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:58.839
<v Speaker 1>high school, and I actually started by taking a class

0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:01.480
<v Speaker 1>from like a Christian church comic, and so I was

0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:05.439
<v Speaker 1>like performing in churches before I could perform in clubs

0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:08.600
<v Speaker 1>because I wasn't eighteen yet. And then even once I

0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:11.920
<v Speaker 1>started performing in clubs, I did last comic standing and

0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:14.280
<v Speaker 1>they kind of like painted me as like a church

0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:16.440
<v Speaker 1>comic because it was a new thing they could do.

0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:19.360
<v Speaker 1>And so then I was doing churches a little bit

0:12:19.360 --> 0:12:23.960
<v Speaker 1>longer up until I was probably two is when I

0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:28.000
<v Speaker 1>did like the last couple and the last church gig

0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:30.880
<v Speaker 1>I had was like opening for some huge church comedian

0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:34.320
<v Speaker 1>and they fired me for a tweet, and I was like,

0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:38.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm never doing this again. Like I don't care what

0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:40.439
<v Speaker 1>the offer is. I don't care what the money is,

0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:42.360
<v Speaker 1>because there's a lot of money in church comedy and

0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:44.920
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I can't. I can't pretend to be

0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:48.000
<v Speaker 1>this person because church comedy they want you to be

0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:50.240
<v Speaker 1>a Christian, like they want you to be that thing

0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:52.680
<v Speaker 1>all the time. There's no like, here's my church set

0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:55.520
<v Speaker 1>and here's my club set, like you gotta be that always,

0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:58.480
<v Speaker 1>and I just wasn't. I just didn't think I was

0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:01.440
<v Speaker 1>a Christian. And I was dealing with how I grew

0:13:01.559 --> 0:13:05.960
<v Speaker 1>up and and my relationship with my parents and whatnot.

0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:08.200
<v Speaker 1>So that was kind of the moment I think I

0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:11.400
<v Speaker 1>cut ties with all of it at once. Yeah, I

0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:16.040
<v Speaker 1>would think performing a comedy and a church is very limiting. Yes,

0:13:16.400 --> 0:13:18.520
<v Speaker 1>you can't do that joke about how your dad didn't

0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:23.480
<v Speaker 1>want to fuck you, right exactly. That was not super

0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:26.680
<v Speaker 1>church friendly. And that's why I left. I wanted to

0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:29.040
<v Speaker 1>talk about my dad not wanting to suck me, and

0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:31.480
<v Speaker 1>they just weren't cool about it. And I said, this

0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:34.200
<v Speaker 1>is the last straw for me. Well, yeah, exactly. I

0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:36.160
<v Speaker 1>mean you're not the only one. I mean, that's where

0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:38.520
<v Speaker 1>I think that's where all comedians start. Somebody in the

0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:40.640
<v Speaker 1>family wanted to fuck you and we weren't down with it,

0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:44.400
<v Speaker 1>and that's where our humor comes from. So what's your

0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:47.720
<v Speaker 1>relationship now, like with your parents because they're still religious, right,

0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:51.480
<v Speaker 1>there's still religious. I my mom died when I was

0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:53.880
<v Speaker 1>a kid, and my dad and my step mom. I

0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:57.080
<v Speaker 1>don't speak to them anymore, but they're still very religious. Yeah,

0:13:57.120 --> 0:13:59.160
<v Speaker 1>they're still very religious. And do not speak to them

0:13:59.200 --> 0:14:01.640
<v Speaker 1>because of this, because of your career and because of

0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:05.520
<v Speaker 1>you leaving the church. No, that's a that's definitely an

0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:08.400
<v Speaker 1>aspect of it. I mean, you know, it's it's hard

0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:11.120
<v Speaker 1>to to go into because you know, you never want

0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:14.439
<v Speaker 1>to like put people on blast in your life no

0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:18.680
<v Speaker 1>matter what they've done, because they're not in this world

0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:20.800
<v Speaker 1>and they're not in this public space and they're not

0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:23.960
<v Speaker 1>public figures like we are. But yeah, there were there

0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:27.920
<v Speaker 1>are things beyond that that were issues that I was

0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:30.520
<v Speaker 1>finally like, oh I have to cut ties with this person.

0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:34.000
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, it all comes from a place of like,

0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:37.440
<v Speaker 1>this is a person who grew up with religion is

0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:41.760
<v Speaker 1>sort of a slave to that belief system in a

0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:44.720
<v Speaker 1>way that is not healthy. I think a lot of people,

0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:47.000
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people in my family are religious and

0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:53.360
<v Speaker 1>are like incredible, loving, forgiving, amazing people who use religion

0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:58.080
<v Speaker 1>in a way that is beautiful and they they love

0:14:58.120 --> 0:15:02.360
<v Speaker 1>other people in the way that I think Christianity at

0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:06.360
<v Speaker 1>its best is meant to encourage. But then there are

0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:08.200
<v Speaker 1>other people who don't use religion in that way, and

0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:11.560
<v Speaker 1>they use it to intimidate and scare people and quite frankly,

0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:14.720
<v Speaker 1>abuse people. So I would never want it to sound

0:15:14.720 --> 0:15:18.880
<v Speaker 1>like I'm painting with this broad brush about anybody who

0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:22.760
<v Speaker 1>is religious, because I know it. It is such a

0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:25.520
<v Speaker 1>lifeline for so many people and and something that makes

0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:28.000
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people better human beings. But that was

0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:33.200
<v Speaker 1>not the case with my specific parental situation. Understood understood well,

0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:35.480
<v Speaker 1>it's both moved to cut ties with any family members.

0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:37.320
<v Speaker 1>It's not an easy thing to do. And we discuss

0:15:37.400 --> 0:15:39.600
<v Speaker 1>it on this show all the time because people are

0:15:39.640 --> 0:15:42.000
<v Speaker 1>always calling in like and I'm always like, yeah, fuck

0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:44.360
<v Speaker 1>your family. You know, they don't deserve you. I mean,

0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:46.560
<v Speaker 1>and that's coming for somebody who has really close ties

0:15:46.600 --> 0:15:49.160
<v Speaker 1>with my whole family. I've never been in a situation

0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.080
<v Speaker 1>where my family judged me in that way. You know,

0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:52.480
<v Speaker 1>I would have been out the door a long time

0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:54.720
<v Speaker 1>ago had that been the case. So I think it is.

0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:56.840
<v Speaker 1>It's it's got to be a painful thing, and it's

0:15:56.880 --> 0:15:59.400
<v Speaker 1>got to be. It's a strong decision, so I respect it.

0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:01.960
<v Speaker 1>Let's talk about your because when I came up as

0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:04.440
<v Speaker 1>a female, this is the question that I always got asked,

0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.320
<v Speaker 1>which was so annoying at the time, but upon reflection,

0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:09.200
<v Speaker 1>and now that I'm older, I'm in my forties, I

0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:12.120
<v Speaker 1>get it. Because people would always ask me how difficult

0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:14.120
<v Speaker 1>it was to be a woman, you know, in a

0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:17.640
<v Speaker 1>male dominated field, which is basically every field, and I

0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:20.720
<v Speaker 1>always just thought, I didn't see it that way, you know,

0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:23.640
<v Speaker 1>I thought as an advantage, it was sparser for women,

0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:26.120
<v Speaker 1>so it was easier to stand out, especially if you

0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:28.640
<v Speaker 1>were cute, and if you were out you know, outspoken,

0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:30.840
<v Speaker 1>and you were allowed and you kind of had all

0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:32.760
<v Speaker 1>of that going for you. It was easy to get

0:16:32.840 --> 0:16:35.240
<v Speaker 1>recognized and it was easy to get noticed. And I

0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:38.360
<v Speaker 1>always I didn't have any regard for what the male

0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:40.560
<v Speaker 1>comics were doing, or what they thought of me, or

0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:43.200
<v Speaker 1>any of that, you know, And I I did feel

0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:46.560
<v Speaker 1>that there was a lot more competition or kind of

0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:49.560
<v Speaker 1>doors shut from other women rather than from the men,

0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:53.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, women in powerful positions, women in booking positions

0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:56.920
<v Speaker 1>or an executive positions. So I'm curious to know since

0:16:56.960 --> 0:16:59.840
<v Speaker 1>you're a lot younger than me. What your experience was

0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:03.520
<v Speaker 1>like coming up after you left doing church comedy. How

0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:06.000
<v Speaker 1>did you see it? It's interesting because I feel the

0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:09.360
<v Speaker 1>same way you do. I felt like being a female

0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:11.840
<v Speaker 1>was something that helped you stand out. I was also

0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:14.760
<v Speaker 1>clean for like the first five years or something, so

0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:17.520
<v Speaker 1>that helped me stand out as well. I want to

0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:20.439
<v Speaker 1>say Amy Schumer said this. I might be misquoting her,

0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:23.679
<v Speaker 1>but somebody said this where somebody asked is it harder

0:17:23.680 --> 0:17:25.440
<v Speaker 1>to be a female comic? And she was like, it's

0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:28.320
<v Speaker 1>just harder to be female, Like, it's it's not that

0:17:28.359 --> 0:17:30.359
<v Speaker 1>it's hard to be a female comedian, it's just harder

0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:32.639
<v Speaker 1>to be a female. And I think the hardest parts

0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:35.800
<v Speaker 1>about being a female comedian just came from like being

0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:38.760
<v Speaker 1>on the road and it being unsafe, Like having people

0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:40.800
<v Speaker 1>try to like break into your hotel rooms because they

0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:43.240
<v Speaker 1>see that you're twenty one and you're in this hotel

0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:45.920
<v Speaker 1>that's like in the middle of nowhere and you checked

0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:49.000
<v Speaker 1>in alone. Like those were the hardest parts. Is just

0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:52.000
<v Speaker 1>like constantly trying not to get murdered on the road.

0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:57.280
<v Speaker 1>But as far as like the industry, it's funny you

0:17:57.320 --> 0:18:00.080
<v Speaker 1>say that about having doors closed by other women. I

0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:05.479
<v Speaker 1>do think that there are male comics, not all male comics,

0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:07.480
<v Speaker 1>but I do think there are male comics, male bookers

0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:11.879
<v Speaker 1>who do this thing where they will compliment the female

0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:15.560
<v Speaker 1>comic in front of them in a way that makes

0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:17.800
<v Speaker 1>us feel like we are in competition with each other.

0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:22.080
<v Speaker 1>Where they go, you're the best one, like you're the

0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:26.240
<v Speaker 1>good one, like who can touch you? Of female comics,

0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:28.960
<v Speaker 1>like even now, like I get male comics same, like

0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:32.520
<v Speaker 1>you're the best female comic in this class of whatever.

0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:34.639
<v Speaker 1>And you're like, why can't you just say you're a

0:18:34.640 --> 0:18:37.200
<v Speaker 1>really good comic, Like why can't you just say like

0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:39.919
<v Speaker 1>you're killing it, you're doing really well, Like they're always

0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:43.200
<v Speaker 1>comparing us and not all male comics on all male

0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:47.720
<v Speaker 1>bookers whatever. But there are certain certain people who do that,

0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:51.560
<v Speaker 1>and women too, frankly in this business. And I do

0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:56.080
<v Speaker 1>think because we're the smaller pool within this male dominated field,

0:18:56.080 --> 0:18:59.679
<v Speaker 1>it just makes sense for them to go, you are

0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:02.920
<v Speaker 1>doing better than this person, or you're doing as well

0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:04.880
<v Speaker 1>as this person, or you're going to be the next

0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:08.360
<v Speaker 1>this person, as opposed to just seeing us as a

0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:13.119
<v Speaker 1>comedian without the added context. Yeah, well, I think I

0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:15.600
<v Speaker 1>mean when we do it to ourselves. I remember coming

0:19:15.680 --> 0:19:18.400
<v Speaker 1>up and when I had doors that were shut by

0:19:18.480 --> 0:19:20.760
<v Speaker 1>other women, I was like, wait a second, this doesn't

0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:23.159
<v Speaker 1>make any sense because all I wanted to do. It

0:19:23.280 --> 0:19:25.680
<v Speaker 1>actually lit a fire under my ass. When I had

0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:28.320
<v Speaker 1>an opportunity to help other women, it was the first

0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:30.120
<v Speaker 1>thing I wanted to do, because I was like, oh, wait,

0:19:30.160 --> 0:19:32.800
<v Speaker 1>this is a ship show out there. Our mindset has

0:19:32.800 --> 0:19:35.040
<v Speaker 1>been structured in the same way it's It's like, oh,

0:19:35.080 --> 0:19:37.400
<v Speaker 1>it's is there's only room for a certain amount of us.

0:19:37.560 --> 0:19:39.840
<v Speaker 1>But now I just feel like there are so many

0:19:39.920 --> 0:19:43.679
<v Speaker 1>female comics that are crushing it. The conversation must have

0:19:43.840 --> 0:19:48.000
<v Speaker 1>shifted and must be changing. And do you think it is?

0:19:48.600 --> 0:19:50.600
<v Speaker 1>I think so. I mean there's just so many more

0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:53.480
<v Speaker 1>female comics, and I mean people like you who have

0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:56.560
<v Speaker 1>been so successful and did kind of come up in

0:19:56.840 --> 0:19:59.600
<v Speaker 1>a time where there may be less female comics. That

0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:02.200
<v Speaker 1>has made a huge difference. And so yeah, I think

0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:06.000
<v Speaker 1>it's definitely far easier and far better to come up

0:20:06.040 --> 0:20:08.439
<v Speaker 1>in this business right now as a female comic. And

0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:10.840
<v Speaker 1>it is still an advantage I think in my mind,

0:20:11.000 --> 0:20:14.680
<v Speaker 1>I think that's the only aspect of it that still

0:20:14.840 --> 0:20:17.600
<v Speaker 1>makes my skin crawl a little bit when people talk

0:20:17.640 --> 0:20:20.399
<v Speaker 1>to me like you're one of the good ones, you know,

0:20:20.520 --> 0:20:23.040
<v Speaker 1>like it's it's there's still some of that, and I

0:20:23.080 --> 0:20:26.720
<v Speaker 1>think it's left over. I don't think it's I don't

0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:29.600
<v Speaker 1>think it's the norm anymore. I think it's just left over.

0:20:30.040 --> 0:20:32.840
<v Speaker 1>And how did you get together with your boyfriend Sam?

0:20:32.880 --> 0:20:35.320
<v Speaker 1>Just doing comedy? I mean, I don't do anything else,

0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:39.399
<v Speaker 1>so this this is what happens. I think he had

0:20:39.440 --> 0:20:41.160
<v Speaker 1>sent me a couple of d m s just about

0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:44.160
<v Speaker 1>like my late night sets, like, hey, you're very good

0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:47.440
<v Speaker 1>and obviously he's an incredible joke writer and everyone respects

0:20:47.480 --> 0:20:50.479
<v Speaker 1>him so much so getting messages from comics you respect

0:20:50.560 --> 0:20:52.879
<v Speaker 1>is always very nice. And we just started talking and

0:20:52.880 --> 0:20:56.680
<v Speaker 1>became friends and started dating a number of months before

0:20:56.760 --> 0:20:59.840
<v Speaker 1>quarantine hit, and I feel like we've been together for

0:20:59.840 --> 0:21:02.439
<v Speaker 1>a very long time because of that. I think if

0:21:02.440 --> 0:21:05.439
<v Speaker 1>you were together during quarantine, you feel like you have

0:21:05.760 --> 0:21:09.919
<v Speaker 1>a much longer history than you do. Yeah, exactly. I

0:21:09.920 --> 0:21:12.760
<v Speaker 1>mean it's an extended period of time. On top of

0:21:12.800 --> 0:21:15.640
<v Speaker 1>a period of time. It feels like twice the duration

0:21:15.720 --> 0:21:17.840
<v Speaker 1>of what it was. I had never dated a comic

0:21:17.960 --> 0:21:20.679
<v Speaker 1>before I started dating Jokeyd never once. I think I

0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:22.800
<v Speaker 1>was going to ask you. Yeah, I think I slept

0:21:22.800 --> 0:21:25.440
<v Speaker 1>with Tom Rhodes. He's a comic. That was the only

0:21:25.480 --> 0:21:29.280
<v Speaker 1>comedian I slept with, Or maybe was there another one. Anyway,

0:21:29.359 --> 0:21:31.080
<v Speaker 1>I didn't have a lot of experience with mail commas

0:21:31.080 --> 0:21:33.360
<v Speaker 1>because I just found them to be gross quite frankly

0:21:33.640 --> 0:21:35.880
<v Speaker 1>so funny. My cousin just sent me a text. She goes,

0:21:35.880 --> 0:21:38.000
<v Speaker 1>I read this word today and it reminded me of you,

0:21:38.119 --> 0:21:43.000
<v Speaker 1>and it said it's miss Andrews, somebody who despises men.

0:21:43.119 --> 0:21:46.720
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, it's so terrible. And she's like, I go, well,

0:21:46.840 --> 0:21:49.280
<v Speaker 1>you know, I don't despise men, but I just can't

0:21:49.359 --> 0:21:53.119
<v Speaker 1>stop fucking banging on about how much ship they've gotten

0:21:53.119 --> 0:21:55.919
<v Speaker 1>away with, you know, and so, and the way that

0:21:55.960 --> 0:21:58.600
<v Speaker 1>they've treated women, and you know, forced like, I hate

0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:01.520
<v Speaker 1>that they've it's not even the fault. It's society's fault.

0:22:01.560 --> 0:22:04.320
<v Speaker 1>You know, this whole construct is now nobody's fault. But

0:22:04.400 --> 0:22:06.280
<v Speaker 1>I just want people, when you wake up to know

0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:08.000
<v Speaker 1>the truth, you know what I mean, wake up to

0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:10.880
<v Speaker 1>the reality of what's happening, don't resist what's happening now

0:22:11.240 --> 0:22:13.720
<v Speaker 1>and saying this isn't true for women that they haven't

0:22:13.720 --> 0:22:17.360
<v Speaker 1>been subjugated or treated unfairly. It is true, it's undeniable,

0:22:17.400 --> 0:22:20.119
<v Speaker 1>it's indisputable, so shut up and say you're sorry. But

0:22:20.359 --> 0:22:22.360
<v Speaker 1>I've never dated a comic, and people always like, oh

0:22:22.359 --> 0:22:24.800
<v Speaker 1>my god, you and Joe Comus just laugh your asses off,

0:22:24.880 --> 0:22:27.159
<v Speaker 1>laugh your ass off. I'm like, not quite. I go,

0:22:27.280 --> 0:22:29.320
<v Speaker 1>we do laugh our ass off. But like when you're

0:22:29.359 --> 0:22:33.120
<v Speaker 1>two comedians, it's like my comedies for when I'm on stage,

0:22:33.240 --> 0:22:35.159
<v Speaker 1>Like at this point in my life, like I'm not

0:22:35.200 --> 0:22:37.920
<v Speaker 1>sitting around being funny all fucking day long by myself.

0:22:38.000 --> 0:22:42.040
<v Speaker 1>You know, you're just playing chess in the dark together

0:22:42.160 --> 0:22:46.040
<v Speaker 1>hanseless always. I'm always playing chess by myself. And yeah,

0:22:46.080 --> 0:22:49.359
<v Speaker 1>I've become much more serious as i've aged about like

0:22:49.560 --> 0:22:52.760
<v Speaker 1>wanting my thirst for knowledge or reading the right books

0:22:52.760 --> 0:22:54.880
<v Speaker 1>and making sure I know what's going on with that.

0:22:55.280 --> 0:22:57.199
<v Speaker 1>I just read a book about the German War that

0:22:57.240 --> 0:22:59.359
<v Speaker 1>was like eight hundred pages, and I was like, funk,

0:22:59.400 --> 0:23:01.359
<v Speaker 1>I should have read this a lot sooner. But I

0:23:01.720 --> 0:23:04.119
<v Speaker 1>have a I have a much greater sense of responsibility

0:23:04.160 --> 0:23:06.240
<v Speaker 1>to like my fountain of knowledge, like I need to

0:23:06.280 --> 0:23:10.359
<v Speaker 1>know more and I'm pursuing that always. But when people

0:23:10.400 --> 0:23:12.600
<v Speaker 1>say like Oh, you guys must just laugh your asses

0:23:12.640 --> 0:23:14.239
<v Speaker 1>off all the time. I just want to be like, no,

0:23:14.600 --> 0:23:17.320
<v Speaker 1>it's not like you're sitting here writing jokes for each

0:23:17.320 --> 0:23:20.040
<v Speaker 1>other all day long. Is it like that for you guys?

0:23:20.200 --> 0:23:22.399
<v Speaker 1>Or how do you feel about that kind of comment?

0:23:23.000 --> 0:23:25.280
<v Speaker 1>We work on jokes together, I mean, I think we

0:23:25.400 --> 0:23:28.080
<v Speaker 1>make each other laugh a lot, but we're also very

0:23:28.119 --> 0:23:32.080
<v Speaker 1>intense people, so we also complain a lot and bicker

0:23:32.160 --> 0:23:35.280
<v Speaker 1>a lot. And yeah, when we're we're making fun of

0:23:35.320 --> 0:23:38.480
<v Speaker 1>stuff and running jokes by each other, I think we

0:23:38.560 --> 0:23:41.480
<v Speaker 1>probably laughed the least when we're running jokes by each other.

0:23:41.520 --> 0:23:44.600
<v Speaker 1>And you know what you're like, is this funny? You're like, yeah,

0:23:44.640 --> 0:23:46.600
<v Speaker 1>that's good. That's really good. You should write that down.

0:23:46.920 --> 0:23:49.520
<v Speaker 1>And then when we are just hanging out or watching

0:23:49.560 --> 0:23:52.920
<v Speaker 1>movies or watching TV shows or or whatever, that's when

0:23:52.920 --> 0:23:55.919
<v Speaker 1>we laugh the hardest, when we're just being stupid, But

0:23:56.000 --> 0:23:58.359
<v Speaker 1>when we're actually working on jokes, it's not funny at all.

0:23:58.400 --> 0:24:01.359
<v Speaker 1>It's just like that will work, that's good. Yeah, And

0:24:01.400 --> 0:24:03.520
<v Speaker 1>what do you like about being on the road, because

0:24:03.560 --> 0:24:05.639
<v Speaker 1>I know, are you on tour right now? I am

0:24:05.640 --> 0:24:07.680
<v Speaker 1>on tour right now. Yeah. We had to reschedule my

0:24:08.440 --> 0:24:10.720
<v Speaker 1>new York shows this weekend. Unfortunately because of all the

0:24:10.760 --> 0:24:13.000
<v Speaker 1>COVID stuff. So I was supposed to be doing town

0:24:13.080 --> 0:24:14.520
<v Speaker 1>hall on the beak end this weekend, and we had

0:24:14.560 --> 0:24:17.439
<v Speaker 1>to move them to April. But I'm back on tour

0:24:18.359 --> 0:24:20.800
<v Speaker 1>after a few weeks off this weekend, so I'm going

0:24:20.840 --> 0:24:23.240
<v Speaker 1>to be in Portland and Seattle, and then like I

0:24:23.280 --> 0:24:26.120
<v Speaker 1>go to Michigan and I think, like, oh, mahan, all

0:24:26.160 --> 0:24:29.560
<v Speaker 1>these other places. So I'm on tour until like May,

0:24:29.640 --> 0:24:32.840
<v Speaker 1>and then I need a break because my next Netflix

0:24:32.880 --> 0:24:34.960
<v Speaker 1>special is coming out in the next couple of months here,

0:24:35.080 --> 0:24:38.480
<v Speaker 1>so I'm like, I need a minute after that, because

0:24:38.480 --> 0:24:43.480
<v Speaker 1>I've also been on tour kind of NonStop since last year.

0:24:43.480 --> 0:24:47.720
<v Speaker 1>I mean before I was vaccinated, I was doing clubs

0:24:47.760 --> 0:24:51.880
<v Speaker 1>that were like very spread out, like full, and then

0:24:51.920 --> 0:24:54.080
<v Speaker 1>once I was vaccinated, I was just back on the

0:24:54.160 --> 0:24:56.679
<v Speaker 1>road and I was doing it every weekend. I wasn't

0:24:57.480 --> 0:25:00.000
<v Speaker 1>doing the self care stuff I had been doing before

0:25:00.080 --> 0:25:01.920
<v Speaker 1>or the pandemic where I was like, I'll do two

0:25:02.080 --> 0:25:03.800
<v Speaker 1>or three weekends a month because I need to keep

0:25:03.800 --> 0:25:05.399
<v Speaker 1>my sanity. I was like, put me on the road

0:25:05.440 --> 0:25:08.120
<v Speaker 1>as much as humanly possible. So I have not had

0:25:08.200 --> 0:25:12.240
<v Speaker 1>a ton of time off in the last nine ten months. Yeah,

0:25:12.240 --> 0:25:13.679
<v Speaker 1>And I think being on the road, it's like it

0:25:13.680 --> 0:25:15.879
<v Speaker 1>doesn't matter at what level you're doing it. You know.

0:25:16.119 --> 0:25:18.200
<v Speaker 1>I've been on tour for the last four or five

0:25:18.240 --> 0:25:20.560
<v Speaker 1>months too, and just have this one month off and

0:25:20.600 --> 0:25:22.760
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't matter if you're flying privately, if you have

0:25:22.840 --> 0:25:26.600
<v Speaker 1>a tour bus. It just wears on you because you

0:25:26.640 --> 0:25:29.840
<v Speaker 1>are exhausted every morning. You feel hungover, whether you've had

0:25:29.880 --> 0:25:32.520
<v Speaker 1>a drink or not. That is how I feel on tour.

0:25:32.680 --> 0:25:34.679
<v Speaker 1>It's like it is a wellness game, and then you

0:25:34.720 --> 0:25:37.840
<v Speaker 1>just give up on the wellness, right, Yes, you're just

0:25:37.880 --> 0:25:41.320
<v Speaker 1>getting through it. Like I kept thinking I had COVID

0:25:41.640 --> 0:25:43.880
<v Speaker 1>every time I came back from a weekend and I'd

0:25:43.880 --> 0:25:46.800
<v Speaker 1>get tests and they'd be negative. And then I realized

0:25:46.840 --> 0:25:49.920
<v Speaker 1>it was because I was just living in survival mode

0:25:49.960 --> 0:25:53.840
<v Speaker 1>for like three days where I got home and I

0:25:53.880 --> 0:25:57.119
<v Speaker 1>took a minute to like unclench all my muscles, and

0:25:57.160 --> 0:25:59.119
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh, you're not drinking four cups of

0:25:59.119 --> 0:26:01.840
<v Speaker 1>coffee a day in anymore just to get by, Like

0:26:01.920 --> 0:26:04.239
<v Speaker 1>you didn't wake up to get on a plane at

0:26:04.480 --> 0:26:07.040
<v Speaker 1>six am after three hours of sleep, like you are

0:26:07.119 --> 0:26:11.480
<v Speaker 1>recovering Monday and Tuesday, and then Wednesday or Thursday you

0:26:11.480 --> 0:26:14.360
<v Speaker 1>have to go back out and start the cycle over again. Totally.

0:26:14.400 --> 0:26:16.159
<v Speaker 1>It's just it is. And then what do you do

0:26:16.240 --> 0:26:17.480
<v Speaker 1>during the day when you're on the road. Do you

0:26:17.520 --> 0:26:19.359
<v Speaker 1>go out and about or do you just hunker down

0:26:19.400 --> 0:26:22.800
<v Speaker 1>in your hotel room. It depends. I try to get out.

0:26:22.840 --> 0:26:24.719
<v Speaker 1>I've been trying to be better about it. It It depends

0:26:24.720 --> 0:26:26.560
<v Speaker 1>where you are obviously, Like if you're going back to

0:26:26.560 --> 0:26:28.800
<v Speaker 1>one of those cities that you're like, I swore I'd

0:26:28.840 --> 0:26:31.440
<v Speaker 1>never then you're like, I'm gonna stay in the hotel.

0:26:31.960 --> 0:26:33.879
<v Speaker 1>But if you're in a cool place, like if you're

0:26:33.880 --> 0:26:36.520
<v Speaker 1>in Chicago or wherever else, you're like, I want to

0:26:36.520 --> 0:26:38.879
<v Speaker 1>go to the restaurant I like, or I want to

0:26:38.920 --> 0:26:42.119
<v Speaker 1>go see something. My buddy, Dustin Nickerson, who goes on

0:26:42.160 --> 0:26:45.080
<v Speaker 1>tour with me. That's made a huge difference having like

0:26:45.119 --> 0:26:46.680
<v Speaker 1>one of my best friends with me on the road,

0:26:46.680 --> 0:26:48.800
<v Speaker 1>because before it was just me by myself, and that's

0:26:48.880 --> 0:26:52.560
<v Speaker 1>very isolating and draining, and it's hard to motivate yourself

0:26:52.600 --> 0:26:54.719
<v Speaker 1>to go out and do anything. It's hard to motivate

0:26:54.720 --> 0:26:57.560
<v Speaker 1>yourself to go find a cute coffee shop or a

0:26:57.560 --> 0:27:00.639
<v Speaker 1>place to get breakfast. Like before I was just finding

0:27:00.640 --> 0:27:05.400
<v Speaker 1>a grocery store and like bringing like bags of spinach

0:27:05.440 --> 0:27:09.359
<v Speaker 1>and hummus back to my hotel room with a mini fridge,

0:27:09.400 --> 0:27:12.520
<v Speaker 1>Like it was so sad. So now that I have

0:27:12.640 --> 0:27:15.320
<v Speaker 1>like a buddy with me, it's much easier to motivate

0:27:15.320 --> 0:27:17.800
<v Speaker 1>myself to get out and try to experience where I'm

0:27:17.840 --> 0:27:21.480
<v Speaker 1>at in the country, because you know, it's this is

0:27:22.320 --> 0:27:24.359
<v Speaker 1>so much of our lives. Like for a while, I

0:27:24.440 --> 0:27:25.919
<v Speaker 1>was like, Okay, the road is my job and then

0:27:25.920 --> 0:27:27.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna come home and have my life. And now

0:27:27.920 --> 0:27:31.399
<v Speaker 1>I try to treat the road with as much importance

0:27:31.440 --> 0:27:34.679
<v Speaker 1>as I do my life at home, because it's fifty

0:27:35.240 --> 0:27:37.280
<v Speaker 1>of my time, if not more. Yeah, I like that.

0:27:37.320 --> 0:27:39.240
<v Speaker 1>You're right about that. I need to be better about

0:27:39.280 --> 0:27:40.680
<v Speaker 1>that too. I used to be a lot better, and

0:27:40.760 --> 0:27:43.320
<v Speaker 1>now I just I'm like, uh, I have to conserve

0:27:43.400 --> 0:27:45.240
<v Speaker 1>my energy, you know. I have this idea that it's

0:27:45.280 --> 0:27:47.239
<v Speaker 1>like I have. All I have is what I'm going

0:27:47.280 --> 0:27:49.239
<v Speaker 1>to put on the show that night, you know, and

0:27:49.280 --> 0:27:52.000
<v Speaker 1>I want to. But it is good for the soul

0:27:52.080 --> 0:27:54.080
<v Speaker 1>to be out and about in these places and have

0:27:54.119 --> 0:27:56.200
<v Speaker 1>a little bit of culture. It's good to get out

0:27:56.200 --> 0:27:58.280
<v Speaker 1>there and like meet people and see what's going on

0:27:58.320 --> 0:28:00.280
<v Speaker 1>in those cities. Even if it does if you do

0:28:00.320 --> 0:28:03.560
<v Speaker 1>find it depressing or whatever, it all kind of adds

0:28:03.600 --> 0:28:05.399
<v Speaker 1>up and it is a huge part of our lives.

0:28:05.480 --> 0:28:09.120
<v Speaker 1>So there's really no disputing that. So on this podcast,

0:28:09.119 --> 0:28:11.680
<v Speaker 1>we take callers they could zoom in and we give

0:28:11.680 --> 0:28:14.159
<v Speaker 1>them our advice. So we're gonna go ahead, Katherine, right,

0:28:14.320 --> 0:28:17.400
<v Speaker 1>and take our first call or zoom or I still

0:28:17.400 --> 0:28:19.800
<v Speaker 1>don't know how this podcast works. Every every week it's

0:28:19.800 --> 0:28:21.920
<v Speaker 1>the New Adventure. I'm like, wait, what is someone coming

0:28:21.920 --> 0:28:24.200
<v Speaker 1>in live. I'm gonna make us take a quick break

0:28:24.200 --> 0:28:26.359
<v Speaker 1>for ads and then we'll come back with an email

0:28:26.359 --> 0:28:33.919
<v Speaker 1>in a color and we are back. I actually have

0:28:34.040 --> 0:28:37.240
<v Speaker 1>something I wanted to tell Taylor. I'm sure we're not related,

0:28:37.440 --> 0:28:41.720
<v Speaker 1>but my last name is law but I'm actually a Tomlinson. Yeah,

0:28:41.800 --> 0:28:44.800
<v Speaker 1>my dad's biological father's last name is Tomlinson. So I've

0:28:44.800 --> 0:28:47.600
<v Speaker 1>got lots of Tomlinson cousins and aunts and uncles. And

0:28:47.840 --> 0:28:50.880
<v Speaker 1>according to the person who did our ancestry dot com,

0:28:50.920 --> 0:28:54.040
<v Speaker 1>it's Illinois farmers back as far as the eye can

0:28:54.120 --> 0:28:58.280
<v Speaker 1>see on that side, Tomlinson's. Yeah. Sometimes I get messages

0:28:58.320 --> 0:29:01.920
<v Speaker 1>from people like any relation to Tomlinson's over here, and

0:29:01.960 --> 0:29:04.959
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, no, but who knows? You never really know?

0:29:05.120 --> 0:29:08.120
<v Speaker 1>I mean, how would we know who were related to? Yeah,

0:29:08.360 --> 0:29:10.400
<v Speaker 1>I guess you put your spin in a vial and

0:29:10.440 --> 0:29:13.280
<v Speaker 1>email it somewhere. I've never done like twenty three and me,

0:29:13.400 --> 0:29:15.880
<v Speaker 1>but that's what it is, right. I have some uncles,

0:29:15.880 --> 0:29:18.680
<v Speaker 1>so I'm sort of like, hmmm, should you be worried?

0:29:19.080 --> 0:29:22.000
<v Speaker 1>I part of me is like, if I did do

0:29:22.080 --> 0:29:24.320
<v Speaker 1>that and like caught a bad guy, even if I

0:29:24.360 --> 0:29:27.680
<v Speaker 1>was related to said bad guy, what a thrill. I

0:29:27.720 --> 0:29:33.120
<v Speaker 1>think I'll be thrilling. So our first question comes from

0:29:33.160 --> 0:29:36.600
<v Speaker 1>just initial P and Taylor. Because of your background with

0:29:36.760 --> 0:29:38.600
<v Speaker 1>religion and all that stuff, I thought this would be

0:29:38.640 --> 0:29:41.680
<v Speaker 1>a good question for you guys to tackle together. P

0:29:41.880 --> 0:29:45.200
<v Speaker 1>says Dear Chelsea. I'm writing to ask for help and

0:29:45.280 --> 0:29:48.000
<v Speaker 1>explaining to my girlfriend why it's not the best idea

0:29:48.080 --> 0:29:50.920
<v Speaker 1>for her to get baptized just because her grandmother wants

0:29:50.920 --> 0:29:53.480
<v Speaker 1>her to. Her grandma believes she won't see her in

0:29:53.520 --> 0:29:57.320
<v Speaker 1>the afterlife unless she's baptized. Neither my partner nor I

0:29:57.320 --> 0:30:00.480
<v Speaker 1>grew up in religious households. We believe in higher powers,

0:30:00.520 --> 0:30:03.240
<v Speaker 1>but certainly not the sweet baby Jesus, her grandma believes in.

0:30:03.960 --> 0:30:07.560
<v Speaker 1>My girlfriend feels that getting baptized will make her grandma happy,

0:30:07.600 --> 0:30:10.760
<v Speaker 1>but doesn't fully understand why folks get baptized, the personal

0:30:10.840 --> 0:30:13.880
<v Speaker 1>choice behind it, the religious beliefs behind it. I'm no

0:30:13.960 --> 0:30:17.040
<v Speaker 1>scholar in the subject, and I don't think you are either. However,

0:30:17.200 --> 0:30:19.280
<v Speaker 1>I do believe you may have some great insight on

0:30:19.400 --> 0:30:22.920
<v Speaker 1>why my girlfriend shouldn't get baptized just to appease grandma.

0:30:23.240 --> 0:30:26.080
<v Speaker 1>P Well, Taylor, why don't you start and then I'll

0:30:26.120 --> 0:30:28.720
<v Speaker 1>follow up. I mean, I don't know if this is

0:30:28.760 --> 0:30:32.360
<v Speaker 1>a dumb answer, but I'm kind of like, how much

0:30:32.760 --> 0:30:36.560
<v Speaker 1>do you love your grandma? Like does it matter really?

0:30:36.640 --> 0:30:39.600
<v Speaker 1>Like if you get dunked in some water, if you

0:30:40.280 --> 0:30:43.760
<v Speaker 1>don't believe in it, then it really just comes down

0:30:43.840 --> 0:30:45.800
<v Speaker 1>to do you want to do your grandma favor and

0:30:45.880 --> 0:30:50.400
<v Speaker 1>make her feel good? Because I don't think you should

0:30:50.440 --> 0:30:54.720
<v Speaker 1>do anything that you're not comfortable with and you don't

0:30:54.720 --> 0:30:56.200
<v Speaker 1>want to do because like I don't know that I

0:30:56.240 --> 0:30:59.040
<v Speaker 1>could personally do something like that, Like I know that

0:30:59.120 --> 0:31:01.400
<v Speaker 1>I've told my grandma, who I love more than anything

0:31:01.440 --> 0:31:04.040
<v Speaker 1>in the world. Like I'm not a Christian and I'm

0:31:04.040 --> 0:31:05.560
<v Speaker 1>scared I won't be a part of this family. And

0:31:05.600 --> 0:31:07.000
<v Speaker 1>she was like, oh, my God, of course not. You'll

0:31:07.000 --> 0:31:08.560
<v Speaker 1>always be a part of this family. And I'm like, yeah,

0:31:08.600 --> 0:31:11.480
<v Speaker 1>but you do think I'm going to hell? And she's like, well,

0:31:11.760 --> 0:31:13.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, I don't know what to say to that,

0:31:14.080 --> 0:31:18.400
<v Speaker 1>and so it's comforting. It's it's just, it is what

0:31:18.480 --> 0:31:23.120
<v Speaker 1>it is. Like, if you don't believe that being baptized

0:31:23.360 --> 0:31:27.520
<v Speaker 1>means anything, then it's up to you if you feel

0:31:28.280 --> 0:31:32.640
<v Speaker 1>comfortable doing that just to make your grandma happy, or

0:31:32.680 --> 0:31:36.560
<v Speaker 1>if that feels not authentic to you and you don't

0:31:36.560 --> 0:31:39.360
<v Speaker 1>want to lie. It's such a personal decision. I can't

0:31:39.400 --> 0:31:42.000
<v Speaker 1>even say, like, this is what you should absolutely do.

0:31:42.360 --> 0:31:45.240
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I mean if my grandma wanted me to

0:31:45.240 --> 0:31:49.320
<v Speaker 1>get baptized and I wasn't Christian, I would probably say, like,

0:31:49.440 --> 0:31:53.280
<v Speaker 1>you know, I don't actually believe what you believe, and

0:31:53.920 --> 0:31:57.320
<v Speaker 1>I understand that that's hard for you. I maybe would

0:31:57.360 --> 0:31:59.360
<v Speaker 1>go I could get baptized if you want, but know

0:31:59.480 --> 0:32:02.920
<v Speaker 1>that if I don't believe it, then it's probably not

0:32:03.000 --> 0:32:07.360
<v Speaker 1>going to do anything. Right, Like, if you want me

0:32:07.400 --> 0:32:12.240
<v Speaker 1>to get baptized, but you know, I don't believe in Jesus.

0:32:13.120 --> 0:32:14.719
<v Speaker 1>I don't think it's gonna matter. It sounds like your

0:32:14.760 --> 0:32:17.920
<v Speaker 1>grandma just wants you to be something you're not. She

0:32:17.960 --> 0:32:19.600
<v Speaker 1>sounds like she just wants you to be religious, and

0:32:19.600 --> 0:32:23.400
<v Speaker 1>if you're not, it's not gonna work. Yeah, I would say,

0:32:23.480 --> 0:32:25.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to say something surprising, and I would say,

0:32:25.800 --> 0:32:27.959
<v Speaker 1>first of all, if you really don't believe in it,

0:32:28.080 --> 0:32:30.240
<v Speaker 1>then who gives a ship? Then do it for you?

0:32:30.480 --> 0:32:32.360
<v Speaker 1>Like if you just want to make your grandmother happy

0:32:32.400 --> 0:32:35.240
<v Speaker 1>so she can die peacefully knowing that she's having her

0:32:35.320 --> 0:32:37.400
<v Speaker 1>believe she's going to see you in the afterlife, go

0:32:37.440 --> 0:32:40.040
<v Speaker 1>get baptized. Like, if you don't believe in it, it's

0:32:40.040 --> 0:32:42.160
<v Speaker 1>not it's no harm, no foul. Like if somebody in

0:32:42.200 --> 0:32:44.440
<v Speaker 1>my life that I really cared about or respected wanted

0:32:44.480 --> 0:32:46.640
<v Speaker 1>me to do that, I probably would just because it

0:32:46.640 --> 0:32:48.760
<v Speaker 1>doesn't make a difference to me because I don't believe

0:32:48.760 --> 0:32:50.680
<v Speaker 1>in that. So I have no problem getting dunk in

0:32:50.720 --> 0:32:53.240
<v Speaker 1>water by a priest and eating that cookie or whatever

0:32:53.280 --> 0:32:56.239
<v Speaker 1>happens afterward. It's not a big deal. And and I

0:32:56.280 --> 0:32:58.920
<v Speaker 1>feel like I do have a soft spot for older people,

0:32:59.120 --> 0:33:02.239
<v Speaker 1>like religious older people. They do believe they're not going

0:33:02.240 --> 0:33:04.960
<v Speaker 1>to see their family again. And I almost have more

0:33:05.000 --> 0:33:10.280
<v Speaker 1>compassion for that than being obstinate in your own belief system. Yeah, yeah,

0:33:10.440 --> 0:33:12.400
<v Speaker 1>that's that's kind of how I felt to It's it's

0:33:12.440 --> 0:33:15.120
<v Speaker 1>more so just like, if you're gonna do it and

0:33:15.280 --> 0:33:18.080
<v Speaker 1>feel bad about it, don't do it. But yeah, if

0:33:18.080 --> 0:33:22.080
<v Speaker 1>you don't care, then just do it. Yeah. Peace. So

0:33:22.160 --> 0:33:23.760
<v Speaker 1>there you go. I mean, you could do it or

0:33:23.800 --> 0:33:28.400
<v Speaker 1>you cannot do it, but let us know what happens.

0:33:28.440 --> 0:33:31.000
<v Speaker 1>Fantastic problem solved. We have a huge we have a

0:33:31.040 --> 0:33:33.400
<v Speaker 1>great track record on this show, Taylor, so just watch out.

0:33:34.360 --> 0:33:37.840
<v Speaker 1>We solve them all. Just about Okay. Our next question,

0:33:38.200 --> 0:33:40.760
<v Speaker 1>and we have this color on the line comes from Shannon.

0:33:41.280 --> 0:33:44.240
<v Speaker 1>I thought this would also be a great question for you, Taylor,

0:33:44.320 --> 0:33:47.480
<v Speaker 1>because she's sort of having a quarter life crisis. Shannon says,

0:33:47.560 --> 0:33:51.000
<v Speaker 1>Dear Chelsea, I'm turning thirty next month, and looking back

0:33:51.000 --> 0:33:53.760
<v Speaker 1>on my twenties, I wish I'd let myself have more fun.

0:33:54.360 --> 0:33:57.080
<v Speaker 1>Money has been tight since graduating college, as my husband

0:33:57.120 --> 0:33:59.959
<v Speaker 1>and I both have large amounts of student debt. Stress

0:34:00.000 --> 0:34:02.240
<v Speaker 1>around money has been a big factor in our lives,

0:34:02.560 --> 0:34:05.360
<v Speaker 1>affecting each of our personal happiness and sense of self

0:34:05.400 --> 0:34:08.080
<v Speaker 1>worth and causing a lot of strain on our marriage.

0:34:08.520 --> 0:34:10.600
<v Speaker 1>I think we also let money challenges stop us from

0:34:10.600 --> 0:34:13.680
<v Speaker 1>having fun. What advice do you have for me going

0:34:13.680 --> 0:34:15.839
<v Speaker 1>into my thirties? What are some ways that you put

0:34:15.880 --> 0:34:18.880
<v Speaker 1>your stress aside and have fun, particularly that don't involve

0:34:18.880 --> 0:34:23.640
<v Speaker 1>spending money? Shannon? Hi, Shannon, Hi, Hi, this is Taylor.

0:34:23.760 --> 0:34:27.759
<v Speaker 1>Hi Shannon, Hi. Okay, So you're stressed about money all

0:34:27.800 --> 0:34:29.880
<v Speaker 1>the time? That must be really that must take up

0:34:29.880 --> 0:34:33.080
<v Speaker 1>a lot of your energy, right it does? Yeah? And

0:34:33.160 --> 0:34:35.560
<v Speaker 1>so how do you guys manage the stress? Do you

0:34:35.600 --> 0:34:37.520
<v Speaker 1>spend a lot of time budgeting? Do you spend a

0:34:37.560 --> 0:34:41.640
<v Speaker 1>lot of time saying no to things? I I think

0:34:41.640 --> 0:34:43.560
<v Speaker 1>that my husband and I have different methods, Like I

0:34:43.600 --> 0:34:46.080
<v Speaker 1>think for him it's hard to even look at it.

0:34:46.360 --> 0:34:48.360
<v Speaker 1>So I spend a lot of time I feel like

0:34:48.400 --> 0:34:51.840
<v Speaker 1>almost just staring at it. I guess budgeting, but almost

0:34:51.880 --> 0:34:54.919
<v Speaker 1>feeling like how do I move things around? You know, like, oh, great,

0:34:54.960 --> 0:34:57.200
<v Speaker 1>I can balance transfer those and do this here or whatever,

0:34:57.280 --> 0:35:00.239
<v Speaker 1>like trying to be strategic. And my husband, I think

0:35:00.280 --> 0:35:03.680
<v Speaker 1>he just kind of shuts down. And for him it's intimidating.

0:35:03.680 --> 0:35:05.279
<v Speaker 1>He's just like, well, we don't have enough money to

0:35:05.280 --> 0:35:07.919
<v Speaker 1>do anything, so whatever, And I'm trying to be more

0:35:08.480 --> 0:35:13.560
<v Speaker 1>solution oriented, so that becomes challenging. Yeah, I bet that

0:35:13.719 --> 0:35:15.719
<v Speaker 1>is challenging, But I mean, I think there are so

0:35:15.760 --> 0:35:18.280
<v Speaker 1>many things you can do without spending money and without

0:35:18.320 --> 0:35:20.880
<v Speaker 1>taxing it. Hey, you probably have to open up a

0:35:20.880 --> 0:35:23.239
<v Speaker 1>little better line of communication with your husband so that

0:35:23.280 --> 0:35:25.719
<v Speaker 1>you guys can kind of handle it together, because for

0:35:25.760 --> 0:35:29.520
<v Speaker 1>you to be spearheading it must be really stressful. Also, yeah,

0:35:29.680 --> 0:35:31.960
<v Speaker 1>I know, my boyfriend doesn't like to talk about anything negative,

0:35:32.120 --> 0:35:34.960
<v Speaker 1>Like if anything bad in the world happens, he's just like,

0:35:34.960 --> 0:35:38.080
<v Speaker 1>like the news, politics, anything like that, he shuts down,

0:35:38.120 --> 0:35:40.200
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, so I'm supposed to just deal with

0:35:40.239 --> 0:35:43.680
<v Speaker 1>all of this myself, you know. So I can understand

0:35:43.719 --> 0:35:46.600
<v Speaker 1>that there's that imbalance kind of creates a lot of stress,

0:35:46.960 --> 0:35:49.120
<v Speaker 1>But there are so many things that you can do

0:35:49.440 --> 0:35:51.920
<v Speaker 1>that not only you can do for free, but that

0:35:51.960 --> 0:35:55.000
<v Speaker 1>will add to your like quality of life, to add

0:35:55.040 --> 0:35:57.960
<v Speaker 1>to your distressing you know, just being outside in nature,

0:35:58.239 --> 0:36:01.560
<v Speaker 1>going for hikes, going for long walks through the woods,

0:36:01.680 --> 0:36:04.239
<v Speaker 1>you know, finding the areas around where you live where

0:36:04.280 --> 0:36:07.080
<v Speaker 1>you can experience like nature in a nice, fun, cool way,

0:36:07.520 --> 0:36:10.120
<v Speaker 1>and that it's like a double dose because it's free

0:36:10.200 --> 0:36:12.959
<v Speaker 1>and it's going to lend to your happiness and level

0:36:13.000 --> 0:36:15.920
<v Speaker 1>of happiness. And I think once you you just have

0:36:16.000 --> 0:36:20.040
<v Speaker 1>to make a real effort each day to relieve that

0:36:20.120 --> 0:36:22.560
<v Speaker 1>part of your day where you're where you're so hyper

0:36:22.560 --> 0:36:25.839
<v Speaker 1>focused on the finances. You're gonna be okay. You've been

0:36:25.880 --> 0:36:28.279
<v Speaker 1>okay this far. You have a track record to prove

0:36:28.320 --> 0:36:30.560
<v Speaker 1>to yourself that you're going to be okay moving forward

0:36:30.880 --> 0:36:34.200
<v Speaker 1>even if finances are type m hm. So what kind

0:36:34.239 --> 0:36:38.080
<v Speaker 1>of stuff do you guys do together? Mostly watch TV?

0:36:38.280 --> 0:36:40.480
<v Speaker 1>I mean in non COVID times, we like to go

0:36:40.520 --> 0:36:45.680
<v Speaker 1>to the movies. Definitely. Lately we've been a little bit

0:36:45.800 --> 0:36:48.960
<v Speaker 1>less active so and I think too, it's like another

0:36:49.200 --> 0:36:51.120
<v Speaker 1>another struggle where my husband he does like to go

0:36:51.200 --> 0:36:55.840
<v Speaker 1>hiking and stuff, but not as much and even something

0:36:55.880 --> 0:36:58.680
<v Speaker 1>as simple as like oh, let's go walk the dogs,

0:36:58.719 --> 0:37:03.320
<v Speaker 1>like he's just not always up for it. And sometimes

0:37:03.400 --> 0:37:06.680
<v Speaker 1>that's frustrating. But I also have to remind myself, well,

0:37:06.760 --> 0:37:09.399
<v Speaker 1>like I can go do that myself too. I'm still

0:37:09.400 --> 0:37:11.480
<v Speaker 1>going to get value out of doing that on my

0:37:11.520 --> 0:37:16.080
<v Speaker 1>own rather than just not doing anything. Yeah. Absolutely, And

0:37:16.080 --> 0:37:17.719
<v Speaker 1>I think it's really important for you to do that

0:37:17.800 --> 0:37:20.040
<v Speaker 1>on your own because sometimes the way to attract another

0:37:20.080 --> 0:37:22.799
<v Speaker 1>person is just to enjoy yourself on your own, you know,

0:37:22.920 --> 0:37:25.319
<v Speaker 1>by you going out and doing those things, coming back

0:37:25.360 --> 0:37:27.640
<v Speaker 1>in a brighter mood and a happier kind of state

0:37:27.680 --> 0:37:30.040
<v Speaker 1>of mind, and him being like, oh, I missed that.

0:37:30.320 --> 0:37:32.799
<v Speaker 1>I mean, when I met Joe, he never worked out

0:37:32.800 --> 0:37:34.279
<v Speaker 1>a day in his life, and I would just get

0:37:34.320 --> 0:37:36.520
<v Speaker 1>up every morning and I'm serious about working out and

0:37:36.520 --> 0:37:39.839
<v Speaker 1>being like healthy. And after a week He's like, I'm

0:37:39.880 --> 0:37:41.960
<v Speaker 1>not doing this anymore. I'm not sitting here sleeping while

0:37:41.960 --> 0:37:44.520
<v Speaker 1>you work out. I'm gonna level up. And I was like, oh,

0:37:44.560 --> 0:37:46.239
<v Speaker 1>I didn't even ask him to do that. I never

0:37:46.280 --> 0:37:48.560
<v Speaker 1>expected him to work out. I didn't know. Meanwhile, now

0:37:48.600 --> 0:37:50.799
<v Speaker 1>he's ripped after two weeks of it, and I'm like,

0:37:51.280 --> 0:37:55.719
<v Speaker 1>this is a little bit uneven. But Taylor, what do

0:37:55.760 --> 0:37:57.520
<v Speaker 1>you what do you have to say about that when

0:37:57.520 --> 0:38:00.520
<v Speaker 1>you're struggling with finances because we've all been there, everyone's

0:38:00.560 --> 0:38:03.719
<v Speaker 1>experience that, well not everybody, but most people. Yeah. I

0:38:03.719 --> 0:38:05.719
<v Speaker 1>had a question, where do you live. I live in

0:38:05.800 --> 0:38:09.400
<v Speaker 1>Las Vegas. Oh, so there's a lot of nature things

0:38:10.120 --> 0:38:11.840
<v Speaker 1>you can do. Oh my god, that's I mean, the

0:38:11.880 --> 0:38:15.560
<v Speaker 1>people watching in Vegas alone is because I'm not when

0:38:15.560 --> 0:38:17.319
<v Speaker 1>I go to Vegas to perform. I'm not like a

0:38:17.320 --> 0:38:20.360
<v Speaker 1>big I don't gamble or drink or anything. So I

0:38:20.400 --> 0:38:22.400
<v Speaker 1>do a lot of just like people watching, which is

0:38:22.480 --> 0:38:25.359
<v Speaker 1>very entertaining to me. Do you have kids, Oh, so

0:38:25.480 --> 0:38:28.200
<v Speaker 1>that's great. So it's really just you and your husband.

0:38:28.920 --> 0:38:31.640
<v Speaker 1>It sounds like the fact that you guys handle this

0:38:31.680 --> 0:38:35.279
<v Speaker 1>stuff so differently. I so relate to that because I

0:38:35.360 --> 0:38:37.760
<v Speaker 1>also have a partner who like doesn't like to plan

0:38:38.080 --> 0:38:40.439
<v Speaker 1>ahead and if something is stressful, just kind of like

0:38:41.320 --> 0:38:44.080
<v Speaker 1>doesn't want to deal with it right away. And it

0:38:44.200 --> 0:38:47.520
<v Speaker 1>sounds like hearing you talk, it just sounds like you

0:38:47.640 --> 0:38:50.040
<v Speaker 1>are feeling like it's kind of all on you right now.

0:38:50.200 --> 0:38:53.480
<v Speaker 1>Is he bringing this stuff up as well? Like everything

0:38:53.520 --> 0:38:56.600
<v Speaker 1>you wrote in like, is he communicating that he's feeling

0:38:56.640 --> 0:38:58.720
<v Speaker 1>that too, or is it just kind of you feeling

0:38:58.760 --> 0:39:02.640
<v Speaker 1>it on your own and wondering if he does too. No,

0:39:02.880 --> 0:39:05.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean, we like kind of talked recently. I generally

0:39:05.880 --> 0:39:08.080
<v Speaker 1>would say that our communication isn't great, but we did

0:39:08.120 --> 0:39:11.880
<v Speaker 1>talk pretty recently and had like a more serious conversation

0:39:11.920 --> 0:39:14.719
<v Speaker 1>and we've had in a long time, and so I

0:39:14.760 --> 0:39:17.040
<v Speaker 1>know it's both on our minds and we're both trying

0:39:17.080 --> 0:39:20.200
<v Speaker 1>to kind of figure out together, but also for ourselves,

0:39:20.280 --> 0:39:23.000
<v Speaker 1>how do we we're definitely in like a slump just

0:39:23.400 --> 0:39:26.719
<v Speaker 1>in general, and how do we kind of like pull

0:39:26.760 --> 0:39:30.200
<v Speaker 1>ourselves out of that, because I mean, we are actually

0:39:30.440 --> 0:39:32.959
<v Speaker 1>doing exciting things. We're buying a house right now, and

0:39:33.040 --> 0:39:34.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, we didn't think that that was going to

0:39:34.680 --> 0:39:37.920
<v Speaker 1>probably be possible for another several years, and so it's

0:39:37.920 --> 0:39:40.640
<v Speaker 1>like we even have these positive things happening, and it's

0:39:40.680 --> 0:39:43.440
<v Speaker 1>like we're so nervous something's going to happen and our

0:39:43.520 --> 0:39:45.760
<v Speaker 1>loan is not going to go through or or whatever.

0:39:45.920 --> 0:39:48.960
<v Speaker 1>So it's like just finding that way to like pull

0:39:49.000 --> 0:39:51.839
<v Speaker 1>ourselves out of that and not being the greatest set

0:39:51.880 --> 0:39:54.480
<v Speaker 1>of communicating along the way. Yeah, and I know you

0:39:54.480 --> 0:39:56.480
<v Speaker 1>mentioned when we had our pre interview call as well

0:39:56.520 --> 0:39:59.960
<v Speaker 1>you just started a new job. So that's very exciting,

0:40:00.040 --> 0:40:03.720
<v Speaker 1>ding and congratulations on that. But I wonder if there

0:40:03.760 --> 0:40:07.080
<v Speaker 1>are any free counselors in the area that you guys

0:40:07.160 --> 0:40:09.720
<v Speaker 1>could go see just to talk through some of these things,

0:40:09.800 --> 0:40:12.239
<v Speaker 1>because you know, it shouldn't all just fall to you.

0:40:12.320 --> 0:40:14.880
<v Speaker 1>I know, like in my household, I manage most of

0:40:14.880 --> 0:40:18.480
<v Speaker 1>the money, but it's not necessarily because my husband isn't

0:40:18.600 --> 0:40:21.279
<v Speaker 1>there to talk about it. He would be happy too,

0:40:21.480 --> 0:40:23.359
<v Speaker 1>but I don't know, maybe it's a little bit more

0:40:23.400 --> 0:40:24.840
<v Speaker 1>than I'm like, Okay, I want to be the boss

0:40:24.840 --> 0:40:27.440
<v Speaker 1>of this and make the decisions, and he kind of

0:40:27.480 --> 0:40:29.680
<v Speaker 1>just goes with the flow, which is great, But it

0:40:29.719 --> 0:40:32.160
<v Speaker 1>sounds like you need a little bit more support in

0:40:32.200 --> 0:40:35.000
<v Speaker 1>that area. And I also wonder if you know, I know,

0:40:35.080 --> 0:40:38.759
<v Speaker 1>you said it's a lot of college debt, and that

0:40:38.840 --> 0:40:41.040
<v Speaker 1>can kind of feel like you're looking down the barrel

0:40:41.080 --> 0:40:45.120
<v Speaker 1>of years and years of the same and it can

0:40:45.160 --> 0:40:48.400
<v Speaker 1>feel really overwhelming. But I wonder if there's anybody that

0:40:48.480 --> 0:40:51.279
<v Speaker 1>you can see who can help consolidate some of that,

0:40:51.480 --> 0:40:53.440
<v Speaker 1>or if there's any changes that can be made to

0:40:53.520 --> 0:40:56.120
<v Speaker 1>like how long you're paying it off, um, just to

0:40:56.160 --> 0:40:58.680
<v Speaker 1>give you guys a little more breathing room. Yeah, I

0:40:58.719 --> 0:41:02.000
<v Speaker 1>look at I actually look at that instantly. I've replanced already.

0:41:03.080 --> 0:41:04.840
<v Speaker 1>Right now we're waiting to close on the house and

0:41:04.840 --> 0:41:06.840
<v Speaker 1>then we're gonna try to look again at some of

0:41:06.840 --> 0:41:09.799
<v Speaker 1>those options too. Yeah, and in a good way to like,

0:41:09.880 --> 0:41:11.880
<v Speaker 1>you know, bring a little bit of like bright and

0:41:12.000 --> 0:41:14.959
<v Speaker 1>lightness into your life. Like you have a new job, right,

0:41:15.120 --> 0:41:17.359
<v Speaker 1>you have new people you're working with, like you can

0:41:17.400 --> 0:41:20.520
<v Speaker 1>do things that cost nothing. You can have not that

0:41:20.600 --> 0:41:22.439
<v Speaker 1>like this is something I've ever done, but I've heard

0:41:22.440 --> 0:41:24.600
<v Speaker 1>about it. You know. You can have like group cooking

0:41:24.640 --> 0:41:27.520
<v Speaker 1>classes with people from your work or friends. You can

0:41:27.560 --> 0:41:29.439
<v Speaker 1>have a book club. You can just have these little

0:41:29.520 --> 0:41:31.759
<v Speaker 1>kind of You could join a volleyball league. You could

0:41:31.800 --> 0:41:33.319
<v Speaker 1>do any of these things that are going to add

0:41:33.360 --> 0:41:36.400
<v Speaker 1>to your mental fitness and health and alleviate some of

0:41:36.400 --> 0:41:39.759
<v Speaker 1>the stress. Because whenever we're stressed, we're lacking endorphins. That's

0:41:39.760 --> 0:41:42.560
<v Speaker 1>what we're lacking, you know. Always it's their serotonin and

0:41:42.600 --> 0:41:45.680
<v Speaker 1>it's our endorphins. And getting outside and being social with

0:41:45.760 --> 0:41:48.640
<v Speaker 1>other people and taking your attention off of yourself. A

0:41:48.640 --> 0:41:51.040
<v Speaker 1>lot of the time, you're already paying enough attention to

0:41:51.080 --> 0:41:54.239
<v Speaker 1>yourself and your finances and your you know, your situation.

0:41:54.560 --> 0:41:57.239
<v Speaker 1>So a lot of time our stress gets alleviated when

0:41:57.239 --> 0:42:00.319
<v Speaker 1>we put our focus elsewhere, you know. And you can

0:42:00.760 --> 0:42:03.560
<v Speaker 1>find ways to integrate your you know, your social life

0:42:03.560 --> 0:42:05.840
<v Speaker 1>with your work life, or have a night of the

0:42:05.880 --> 0:42:08.080
<v Speaker 1>week where everybody comes over and you have like a

0:42:08.080 --> 0:42:11.279
<v Speaker 1>potluck dinner and you're socializing with people. That's always going

0:42:11.320 --> 0:42:14.360
<v Speaker 1>to bring everybody up. Or your you join a softball

0:42:14.400 --> 0:42:18.040
<v Speaker 1>league or whatever sport you find interesting, or a book club.

0:42:18.160 --> 0:42:20.640
<v Speaker 1>You know, there's something for everybody. And it's just about

0:42:20.920 --> 0:42:24.160
<v Speaker 1>when you said pulling myself out of this, that's exactly right.

0:42:24.480 --> 0:42:26.680
<v Speaker 1>You're in charge of pulling yourself out of this. You're

0:42:26.680 --> 0:42:28.880
<v Speaker 1>in charge of making your mood a little bit brighter,

0:42:29.280 --> 0:42:32.360
<v Speaker 1>and you don't necessarily need him to do that. Sometimes

0:42:32.360 --> 0:42:35.520
<v Speaker 1>when you lead, other people will follow. Start with yourself,

0:42:35.640 --> 0:42:38.840
<v Speaker 1>and then you know, hopefully it will be a natural progression.

0:42:38.880 --> 0:42:41.799
<v Speaker 1>In addition to finding a counselor you know, we do

0:42:41.880 --> 0:42:44.160
<v Speaker 1>ads for better help all the time. That's like online

0:42:44.239 --> 0:42:46.800
<v Speaker 1>cheap counseling where you can talk to somebody and bounce

0:42:46.800 --> 0:42:49.799
<v Speaker 1>stuff off of them. But it's not a hopeless situation

0:42:49.840 --> 0:42:52.120
<v Speaker 1>by any stretch of the imagination. And you're not alone.

0:42:52.200 --> 0:42:55.800
<v Speaker 1>I mean, everybody is struggling with college debt. Luckily I

0:42:55.800 --> 0:42:58.120
<v Speaker 1>didn't get into college, so that's not an issue for me.

0:42:58.280 --> 0:43:01.200
<v Speaker 1>But everybody is strong going with this kind of stuff,

0:43:01.360 --> 0:43:04.279
<v Speaker 1>and so you should take some solace also knowing that

0:43:04.320 --> 0:43:07.920
<v Speaker 1>you're not alone. It's not unique to you. And remember

0:43:07.960 --> 0:43:10.680
<v Speaker 1>that you got yourself this far, You're gonna get yourself

0:43:10.719 --> 0:43:13.880
<v Speaker 1>through the next phase of your life and enjoy that

0:43:13.920 --> 0:43:16.839
<v Speaker 1>you're about to buy a house like that's huge, right,

0:43:17.320 --> 0:43:20.200
<v Speaker 1>instead of stressing about what can go wrong and operating

0:43:20.200 --> 0:43:23.759
<v Speaker 1>out of fear, operating out of like abundance, like this

0:43:23.840 --> 0:43:25.839
<v Speaker 1>is wonderful. What else are we going to be able

0:43:25.880 --> 0:43:28.560
<v Speaker 1>to do? Try and take the negative lines of thinking

0:43:28.800 --> 0:43:31.200
<v Speaker 1>and turn them into positives, like what if our loan

0:43:31.239 --> 0:43:33.120
<v Speaker 1>doesn't go through? What if our loan does go through,

0:43:33.280 --> 0:43:34.960
<v Speaker 1>and then this is such a success that we go

0:43:34.960 --> 0:43:37.960
<v Speaker 1>get another house and then we start flipping houses. Whatever

0:43:38.120 --> 0:43:40.840
<v Speaker 1>the dialogue is that's going to get you excited about it,

0:43:40.920 --> 0:43:43.799
<v Speaker 1>I think is integral to like getting your mind into

0:43:43.840 --> 0:43:47.840
<v Speaker 1>a happier state of being. Yeah. Yeah, I super relate

0:43:47.920 --> 0:43:50.320
<v Speaker 1>to that feeling of like, oh, I'm so excited to

0:43:50.400 --> 0:43:52.600
<v Speaker 1>be taking this next big step, but like what if

0:43:52.600 --> 0:43:55.920
<v Speaker 1>something horrible happens? I just constantly live in that place.

0:43:56.520 --> 0:44:00.319
<v Speaker 1>And something that my therapist always says to me is like,

0:44:01.200 --> 0:44:04.640
<v Speaker 1>don't freak out about something until it's actually happening, because

0:44:04.960 --> 0:44:07.240
<v Speaker 1>if it actually happens, it's not going to have served

0:44:07.280 --> 0:44:10.480
<v Speaker 1>you to have been miserable up until the point it happened.

0:44:11.920 --> 0:44:15.160
<v Speaker 1>You either can be positive until something bad happens and

0:44:15.160 --> 0:44:17.440
<v Speaker 1>then deal with it once it's here, or you can

0:44:17.480 --> 0:44:21.920
<v Speaker 1>be positive and maybe nothing ever happens that you're worried about.

0:44:22.280 --> 0:44:25.120
<v Speaker 1>And so I just want to say completely get how

0:44:25.200 --> 0:44:28.160
<v Speaker 1>you feel in that regard, and I know how hard

0:44:28.200 --> 0:44:30.480
<v Speaker 1>it is to like stay present and stay excited and

0:44:30.520 --> 0:44:33.399
<v Speaker 1>stay positive about what's going on in your life. But

0:44:33.920 --> 0:44:36.879
<v Speaker 1>just know that, like if something bad happens, you can

0:44:37.000 --> 0:44:39.640
<v Speaker 1>be upset about it. Then you know, like, don't get it,

0:44:39.640 --> 0:44:42.359
<v Speaker 1>don't get ahead of the bad thing in this way

0:44:42.360 --> 0:44:45.000
<v Speaker 1>of thinking of like, well, if I I am afraid

0:44:45.040 --> 0:44:46.840
<v Speaker 1>of it, it won't happen, because it's gonna happen if

0:44:46.880 --> 0:44:50.480
<v Speaker 1>it's going to happen, and you deserve to feel happy

0:44:50.480 --> 0:44:53.960
<v Speaker 1>and excited about something great that's happening for you. You're

0:44:54.000 --> 0:44:56.120
<v Speaker 1>so right because I spend so much time doing that

0:44:56.239 --> 0:44:59.120
<v Speaker 1>now that you say it, like I live like that

0:44:59.280 --> 0:45:02.000
<v Speaker 1>all the time. Yeah, same, it's brutal. Yeah. And it's

0:45:02.040 --> 0:45:04.000
<v Speaker 1>the power of your thoughts, right, it's the power of

0:45:04.040 --> 0:45:06.600
<v Speaker 1>positive thinking. That old book where it talks about your

0:45:06.640 --> 0:45:08.880
<v Speaker 1>thoughts have an impact on your on the way you

0:45:08.920 --> 0:45:11.480
<v Speaker 1>live your life, and it becomes a cycle. So the

0:45:11.560 --> 0:45:14.160
<v Speaker 1>great news is it's easy to change your habits it's

0:45:14.160 --> 0:45:17.239
<v Speaker 1>easy to like change your negative thinking over time into

0:45:17.239 --> 0:45:19.600
<v Speaker 1>positive thinking, and then that brings in a little bit

0:45:19.600 --> 0:45:22.600
<v Speaker 1>more positivity, and then it turns into a lot of positivity,

0:45:22.800 --> 0:45:24.920
<v Speaker 1>and you realize how strong your mind is, you know.

0:45:25.320 --> 0:45:27.640
<v Speaker 1>So you you're in charge of getting yourself kind of

0:45:27.680 --> 0:45:29.640
<v Speaker 1>out of this little rut that you're in, which is

0:45:29.680 --> 0:45:32.040
<v Speaker 1>not the end of the world. You recognize it. You're

0:45:32.040 --> 0:45:35.120
<v Speaker 1>calling in talking to us today about it. So I

0:45:35.120 --> 0:45:37.000
<v Speaker 1>think you're going to be all fine, you just have

0:45:37.080 --> 0:45:40.319
<v Speaker 1>to switch your script a little bit, flip it. Thank you. Yeah,

0:45:40.360 --> 0:45:42.280
<v Speaker 1>and she'll say, I liked what you said to about

0:45:42.520 --> 0:45:44.799
<v Speaker 1>doing stuff in groups because it is you that has

0:45:44.840 --> 0:45:46.920
<v Speaker 1>to get you out of it, but not alone, like

0:45:47.000 --> 0:45:49.080
<v Speaker 1>you don't have to be doing it alone. And a

0:45:49.160 --> 0:45:51.200
<v Speaker 1>lot of what tells us suggest it was group activities,

0:45:51.320 --> 0:45:53.640
<v Speaker 1>and I think that's really helpful. Yeah, And I think

0:45:53.680 --> 0:45:56.520
<v Speaker 1>that makes sense too. For I didn't mention that my

0:45:56.600 --> 0:45:59.319
<v Speaker 1>new job is also working with my husband and we

0:45:59.360 --> 0:46:02.960
<v Speaker 1>work very well together, which is actually great, no problem,

0:46:02.960 --> 0:46:05.319
<v Speaker 1>we've worked together before. It it's great, but it is

0:46:05.360 --> 0:46:08.680
<v Speaker 1>definitely something that I want to focus on moving into

0:46:08.719 --> 0:46:12.080
<v Speaker 1>this job, just finding ways to like, like you said,

0:46:12.080 --> 0:46:14.600
<v Speaker 1>find a book club, or find other ways that I

0:46:14.640 --> 0:46:17.680
<v Speaker 1>can make new friends, spend time with friends already have

0:46:17.719 --> 0:46:20.279
<v Speaker 1>and I haven't seen in forever because my day to

0:46:20.400 --> 0:46:22.719
<v Speaker 1>day is definitely not going to be there just won't

0:46:22.760 --> 0:46:26.000
<v Speaker 1>be as many people in the picture as some of

0:46:26.000 --> 0:46:29.080
<v Speaker 1>my previous jobs. Last Gey season, I remember I was

0:46:29.200 --> 0:46:32.120
<v Speaker 1>up here. I'm in Canada, and I love to ski,

0:46:32.239 --> 0:46:34.080
<v Speaker 1>and one day I just was in this terrible mood

0:46:34.120 --> 0:46:35.759
<v Speaker 1>and I just I was supposed to ski with four

0:46:35.800 --> 0:46:37.560
<v Speaker 1>of my friends and I just blew them all off

0:46:37.600 --> 0:46:40.320
<v Speaker 1>and I said, no, I'm not skiing today. I lied,

0:46:40.440 --> 0:46:42.799
<v Speaker 1>but I went out by myself and I ran into

0:46:42.840 --> 0:46:44.600
<v Speaker 1>them and I was like, oh shout, I just got caught,

0:46:44.719 --> 0:46:48.359
<v Speaker 1>you know, totally redhead. But the way that my mood

0:46:48.440 --> 0:46:52.279
<v Speaker 1>elevated just by being around other people that I was

0:46:52.320 --> 0:46:54.239
<v Speaker 1>going to shut myself away from. I was going to

0:46:54.320 --> 0:46:56.600
<v Speaker 1>shut myself down from that, and then it just came

0:46:56.640 --> 0:46:58.640
<v Speaker 1>at me and by the end of the day I

0:46:58.680 --> 0:47:01.400
<v Speaker 1>was in a completely different spear it. So you really

0:47:01.400 --> 0:47:04.279
<v Speaker 1>have to pay attention to being around other people and

0:47:04.320 --> 0:47:07.319
<v Speaker 1>the benefit that that has on your mental space. Does

0:47:07.320 --> 0:47:09.080
<v Speaker 1>that sound good, Channon? Do you feel like you've got

0:47:09.120 --> 0:47:11.960
<v Speaker 1>some decent advice? I do I have a lot of

0:47:11.960 --> 0:47:15.240
<v Speaker 1>things to think about, for sure. Yeah, and also start

0:47:15.239 --> 0:47:18.200
<v Speaker 1>instilling like the positivity into your conversations with your husband,

0:47:18.280 --> 0:47:21.799
<v Speaker 1>because it's infectious and when people are upbeat and fun like,

0:47:22.040 --> 0:47:26.719
<v Speaker 1>it's catchy. Yeah, thank you, thank okay, thanks for calling.

0:47:27.000 --> 0:47:29.879
<v Speaker 1>Thanks Shannon, Yeah, thank you so much for having me.

0:47:30.239 --> 0:47:37.560
<v Speaker 1>Bye bye, Well. Our next call comes from Christina. She's

0:47:37.600 --> 0:47:41.680
<v Speaker 1>twenty five. She's an attorney in Miami. Oh. Well, ship,

0:47:42.960 --> 0:47:49.000
<v Speaker 1>She's got her ship together. She's quite open, she says.

0:47:49.040 --> 0:47:52.000
<v Speaker 1>Dear Chelsea, I'm writing about a very close friend of

0:47:52.040 --> 0:47:55.680
<v Speaker 1>mine who I love dearly but sometimes oversteps her boundaries

0:47:55.719 --> 0:48:00.560
<v Speaker 1>by subtly opinionating on my relationship. For context, I recently

0:48:00.560 --> 0:48:03.600
<v Speaker 1>became a lawyer. I'm a first generation college student and

0:48:03.640 --> 0:48:05.440
<v Speaker 1>the first person ever in my family to go to

0:48:05.520 --> 0:48:08.320
<v Speaker 1>law school. I worked my ass off until I graduated

0:48:08.360 --> 0:48:10.319
<v Speaker 1>at the top of my class and passed the bar

0:48:10.400 --> 0:48:14.160
<v Speaker 1>exam with flying colors. My boyfriend of three years works

0:48:14.160 --> 0:48:17.760
<v Speaker 1>are respectable but mundane, job, doesn't really have any passion

0:48:17.800 --> 0:48:20.840
<v Speaker 1>for work or career goals, and really enjoys playing video

0:48:20.880 --> 0:48:24.839
<v Speaker 1>games and watching sports. Nonetheless, he loves me deeply. He

0:48:25.040 --> 0:48:28.280
<v Speaker 1>is and has always been incredibly supportive, and he devotes

0:48:28.320 --> 0:48:31.120
<v Speaker 1>himself to my happiness. He's a good man and I

0:48:31.160 --> 0:48:33.960
<v Speaker 1>love him more than I've ever loved anything. My friend,

0:48:34.239 --> 0:48:36.520
<v Speaker 1>who I met in law school, knows how hard I've

0:48:36.520 --> 0:48:38.840
<v Speaker 1>worked and has told me many times how much she

0:48:38.840 --> 0:48:41.239
<v Speaker 1>admires me as a person, and I to admire her.

0:48:42.120 --> 0:48:44.560
<v Speaker 1>My boyfriend, on the other hand, she does not approve

0:48:44.600 --> 0:48:47.600
<v Speaker 1>of I know, deep down, she's probably just protective of

0:48:47.640 --> 0:48:50.800
<v Speaker 1>me and thinks I can do better, probably another lawyer

0:48:50.920 --> 0:48:53.719
<v Speaker 1>or a banker or something. That's fine, She's entitled to

0:48:53.760 --> 0:48:56.360
<v Speaker 1>her opinion, but I really dislike when she makes passive,

0:48:56.360 --> 0:48:59.959
<v Speaker 1>aggressive comments about my relationship. For example, she sends me

0:49:00.000 --> 0:49:03.960
<v Speaker 1>eames about lazy boyfriends with overachieving girlfriends and makes jokes

0:49:03.960 --> 0:49:06.719
<v Speaker 1>about him to me. It really hurts me, and it

0:49:06.800 --> 0:49:09.920
<v Speaker 1>hurts to know she thinks I'm settling, And in all fairness,

0:49:10.040 --> 0:49:12.799
<v Speaker 1>she's never had a relationship in her entire life, so

0:49:12.880 --> 0:49:15.880
<v Speaker 1>it also seems very hypocritical to judge mine. How do

0:49:15.960 --> 0:49:18.000
<v Speaker 1>I tell her to back off without causing a rift

0:49:18.040 --> 0:49:25.520
<v Speaker 1>in our friendship or coming off as condescending? Love? Christina, Hi, Christina, Hi, Hi,

0:49:25.680 --> 0:49:31.160
<v Speaker 1>This is Taylor Hi. Okay, So well, First of all,

0:49:31.200 --> 0:49:33.879
<v Speaker 1>congratulations of being such a badass and having your law

0:49:33.960 --> 0:49:36.879
<v Speaker 1>degree at twenty five years old practicing in Miami. That's

0:49:36.920 --> 0:49:40.359
<v Speaker 1>fucking cool, first generation college student. I love all of it.

0:49:40.760 --> 0:49:45.360
<v Speaker 1>So congrats on all of that. Thank you so much. UM.

0:49:45.400 --> 0:49:47.360
<v Speaker 1>I like that you recognize that your boyfriend likes to

0:49:47.400 --> 0:49:51.560
<v Speaker 1>play video games and has no ambition and has no drive.

0:49:52.040 --> 0:49:54.680
<v Speaker 1>That's also really sweet because you know what, you're not

0:49:54.760 --> 0:49:57.960
<v Speaker 1>judgmental at all. You're not judging him, and not a

0:49:57.960 --> 0:50:00.239
<v Speaker 1>lot of people are capable of not judging people. I

0:50:00.239 --> 0:50:02.920
<v Speaker 1>know that I'm not. So have you spoken to your

0:50:02.960 --> 0:50:05.799
<v Speaker 1>friend about this yet? Well, first of all, I want

0:50:05.840 --> 0:50:09.880
<v Speaker 1>to say, I recognize that I'm known. I wanted to

0:50:09.880 --> 0:50:12.440
<v Speaker 1>be a lawyers since I was twelve years old, and

0:50:12.520 --> 0:50:15.440
<v Speaker 1>so I've worked for it. But that's a gift, and

0:50:15.800 --> 0:50:17.920
<v Speaker 1>to him, a job is just a means to an end,

0:50:18.400 --> 0:50:20.480
<v Speaker 1>and I think that that's really fine. I mean, he's

0:50:20.480 --> 0:50:22.600
<v Speaker 1>still working, you know, I'm not like picking up the

0:50:22.600 --> 0:50:26.120
<v Speaker 1>slack or anything like that, so it's fine. I haven't

0:50:26.120 --> 0:50:29.520
<v Speaker 1>said anything to her for a couple of reasons. I

0:50:29.560 --> 0:50:31.600
<v Speaker 1>know for a fact that it's nothing personal. You know,

0:50:31.680 --> 0:50:34.040
<v Speaker 1>she doesn't just like him as a person. It's just

0:50:34.080 --> 0:50:35.719
<v Speaker 1>that she really wants the best of the best for me,

0:50:36.280 --> 0:50:39.160
<v Speaker 1>and so I guess in her mind, these few character

0:50:39.239 --> 0:50:41.680
<v Speaker 1>traits that she doesn't mind takes him out of the running.

0:50:42.040 --> 0:50:43.960
<v Speaker 1>But I do know that it's coming from a good place.

0:50:44.560 --> 0:50:46.640
<v Speaker 1>And then I have to remind myself that she hasn't

0:50:46.640 --> 0:50:50.759
<v Speaker 1>ever been in a serious relationship, so she just kind

0:50:50.760 --> 0:50:53.480
<v Speaker 1>of still has this idea that, you know, love is

0:50:53.560 --> 0:50:56.360
<v Speaker 1>like the movies, and you know, she somebody sweeps you

0:50:56.400 --> 0:50:58.279
<v Speaker 1>off their feet and then they never didn't want you in.

0:50:58.880 --> 0:51:03.759
<v Speaker 1>And I mean, and I, through my relationship, learns that

0:51:03.760 --> 0:51:07.480
<v Speaker 1>that's not what it is. Relationships are work and nobody's perfect.

0:51:07.600 --> 0:51:09.640
<v Speaker 1>But when you really love someone, you love them for

0:51:09.680 --> 0:51:11.680
<v Speaker 1>their flaws and as long as they're the person and

0:51:11.719 --> 0:51:14.719
<v Speaker 1>they treat you well, then you work through the rest.

0:51:15.640 --> 0:51:18.439
<v Speaker 1>And so I've never really wanted to tell her, well,

0:51:18.480 --> 0:51:21.359
<v Speaker 1>you know, you've never been in a relationship, so how

0:51:21.400 --> 0:51:25.080
<v Speaker 1>would you know what the gifts and takes are because

0:51:25.080 --> 0:51:28.800
<v Speaker 1>it comes off really condescending, and she can be a

0:51:28.840 --> 0:51:32.040
<v Speaker 1>little bit fragile, so I don't want to hurt her either.

0:51:32.840 --> 0:51:34.440
<v Speaker 1>So now I haven't ever talked to her about it.

0:51:34.520 --> 0:51:37.239
<v Speaker 1>I kind of just like laugh it off. I think

0:51:37.239 --> 0:51:40.040
<v Speaker 1>there's a really easy, nice like solution to just you

0:51:40.080 --> 0:51:42.560
<v Speaker 1>can either send her an email and then follow up

0:51:42.560 --> 0:51:45.440
<v Speaker 1>with a conversation, but a loving one, just saying listen,

0:51:45.480 --> 0:51:48.200
<v Speaker 1>I love you so much. I cherish our friendship, but

0:51:48.280 --> 0:51:51.360
<v Speaker 1>it really hurts my feelings when you are passively aggressive

0:51:51.400 --> 0:51:55.359
<v Speaker 1>about my boyfriend, or you're making judgments or sending me

0:51:55.360 --> 0:51:58.239
<v Speaker 1>memes like we both know who you're talking about. This

0:51:58.320 --> 0:52:01.160
<v Speaker 1>is my relationship, not your is. No friend has ever

0:52:01.239 --> 0:52:05.000
<v Speaker 1>decided their girlfriend's relationship for them, so that's a huge

0:52:05.040 --> 0:52:08.319
<v Speaker 1>She should learn that lesson early on anyway, because you

0:52:08.360 --> 0:52:11.200
<v Speaker 1>can't do that. You can't control who your sisters, your brothers,

0:52:11.440 --> 0:52:13.680
<v Speaker 1>or your friends are gonna date. They're gonna date who

0:52:13.719 --> 0:52:15.640
<v Speaker 1>they want, just like you're going to date who you want,

0:52:15.960 --> 0:52:18.160
<v Speaker 1>and you're gonna love who you love. You can say

0:52:18.160 --> 0:52:20.359
<v Speaker 1>this in a very tender way, like you both are

0:52:20.400 --> 0:52:22.960
<v Speaker 1>so important to me. You know, he's never once said

0:52:23.040 --> 0:52:25.560
<v Speaker 1>anything about you or I don't know if that's true

0:52:25.640 --> 0:52:28.160
<v Speaker 1>or not, but it's not true, right of course not.

0:52:28.280 --> 0:52:31.120
<v Speaker 1>He's probably like fuck her, But you just have to

0:52:31.320 --> 0:52:33.839
<v Speaker 1>really just map it up because you're not giving her

0:52:33.920 --> 0:52:36.759
<v Speaker 1>enough credit or respect by not addressing it. I've never

0:52:36.760 --> 0:52:40.120
<v Speaker 1>thought of it that way. It's true, if someone's disappointing

0:52:40.160 --> 0:52:42.680
<v Speaker 1>you and and they're not loving somebody that you love,

0:52:43.320 --> 0:52:45.360
<v Speaker 1>you have to show her the amount of respect that

0:52:45.400 --> 0:52:47.680
<v Speaker 1>you're going to show that you show your boyfriend, right,

0:52:47.840 --> 0:52:50.319
<v Speaker 1>the amount of respect that you show yourself. You want

0:52:50.320 --> 0:52:52.879
<v Speaker 1>to be respectful to her in your relationship and say

0:52:52.880 --> 0:52:54.960
<v Speaker 1>this isn't cool with me, I'm so sorry, but it

0:52:55.040 --> 0:52:58.360
<v Speaker 1>hurts my feelings every time you mention his lack of

0:52:58.440 --> 0:53:01.359
<v Speaker 1>ambition or drive, like those might be important things to you,

0:53:01.440 --> 0:53:03.960
<v Speaker 1>but what's important to me is my ambition, my drive.

0:53:04.400 --> 0:53:07.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm not looking for that necessarily in this relationship or

0:53:07.160 --> 0:53:10.719
<v Speaker 1>with my boyfriend. I supply that for myself. And you know,

0:53:10.760 --> 0:53:12.279
<v Speaker 1>you don't have to mention that she's never been in

0:53:12.280 --> 0:53:15.560
<v Speaker 1>a relationship, because that's a little judgmental. I think, Taylor,

0:53:15.600 --> 0:53:17.920
<v Speaker 1>what do you think I mean? If she wants you

0:53:18.000 --> 0:53:21.880
<v Speaker 1>to date another lawyer, when would you see another lawyer? Like,

0:53:21.960 --> 0:53:25.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm sure your workload is insane. Like I know a

0:53:25.640 --> 0:53:28.600
<v Speaker 1>few people who have gone through law school and I

0:53:28.680 --> 0:53:31.640
<v Speaker 1>just like didn't see them for years, and then they

0:53:31.640 --> 0:53:33.879
<v Speaker 1>had like a couple of months off and now they

0:53:33.920 --> 0:53:37.719
<v Speaker 1>work very demanding jobs, Like, I think that a lot

0:53:37.760 --> 0:53:42.439
<v Speaker 1>of relationships if one person is in a field that's

0:53:42.440 --> 0:53:46.799
<v Speaker 1>like very demanding and high stress, it works very well

0:53:46.880 --> 0:53:49.840
<v Speaker 1>to have somebody else who is like, yeah, I have

0:53:49.880 --> 0:53:52.719
<v Speaker 1>a job. I like it, but like I like a job,

0:53:52.760 --> 0:53:55.000
<v Speaker 1>I can leave at work and come home and relax

0:53:55.080 --> 0:53:58.040
<v Speaker 1>and play video games and love my partner. Like, I

0:53:58.040 --> 0:54:00.920
<v Speaker 1>think it sounds like you're in a great relationship with

0:54:00.960 --> 0:54:05.000
<v Speaker 1>someone who balances you out. And I think it's really

0:54:05.440 --> 0:54:09.000
<v Speaker 1>beautiful and actually pretty empathetic that you're like. I haven't

0:54:09.000 --> 0:54:10.839
<v Speaker 1>talked to her about it yet because she's ever been

0:54:10.880 --> 0:54:13.400
<v Speaker 1>in a relationship, and I understand that from her perspective,

0:54:13.440 --> 0:54:16.319
<v Speaker 1>it probably looks like this, Like, I think you are

0:54:16.360 --> 0:54:20.080
<v Speaker 1>an incredibly impressive, mature person. But yeah, I totally agree

0:54:20.120 --> 0:54:24.120
<v Speaker 1>with Chelsea, Like, you know, trust your friend enough that

0:54:24.200 --> 0:54:28.759
<v Speaker 1>she will be able to handle you saying very directly, Hey,

0:54:28.800 --> 0:54:31.759
<v Speaker 1>I love you so much. I'm sure you don't mean

0:54:31.800 --> 0:54:37.319
<v Speaker 1>anything by this, but it really hurts my feelings. This

0:54:37.400 --> 0:54:40.640
<v Speaker 1>is my partner. It's okay if you don't understand, but

0:54:40.840 --> 0:54:44.359
<v Speaker 1>I just can't keep acting like I'm okay with these

0:54:44.400 --> 0:54:46.839
<v Speaker 1>comments because I know I laughed them off, but I'm

0:54:46.840 --> 0:54:50.640
<v Speaker 1>really not, And they're also you know, because she hasn't

0:54:50.640 --> 0:54:52.880
<v Speaker 1>ever had a relationship like that, they're also maybe a

0:54:52.880 --> 0:54:56.200
<v Speaker 1>fair amount of jealousy there. So I think, you know,

0:54:56.440 --> 0:54:58.560
<v Speaker 1>like they both said, coming at this from a place

0:54:58.600 --> 0:55:00.640
<v Speaker 1>of kindness and a place of of and just like

0:55:00.760 --> 0:55:03.840
<v Speaker 1>considering that she might be hating on him because she

0:55:03.960 --> 0:55:06.960
<v Speaker 1>sees how happy you actually are, and like that's her

0:55:07.000 --> 0:55:09.719
<v Speaker 1>place to nitpick when she's never really had that in

0:55:09.719 --> 0:55:12.719
<v Speaker 1>her life, might be might be pretty big. I also

0:55:12.760 --> 0:55:15.719
<v Speaker 1>think Taylor made a salient point like, Yeah, what if

0:55:15.760 --> 0:55:17.839
<v Speaker 1>you were to date another lawyer, when the hell would

0:55:17.840 --> 0:55:19.919
<v Speaker 1>you guys be getting together? Like that would be such

0:55:19.920 --> 0:55:22.839
<v Speaker 1>an to Like people who are working their asses off.

0:55:22.880 --> 0:55:25.879
<v Speaker 1>That doesn't make necessarily for a good match. You need

0:55:25.920 --> 0:55:27.680
<v Speaker 1>somebody who's going to be there when you get home,

0:55:27.719 --> 0:55:31.080
<v Speaker 1>that's gonna like support you and and have stuff waiting

0:55:31.120 --> 0:55:33.520
<v Speaker 1>for you for dinner when you get home, and be

0:55:33.600 --> 0:55:35.880
<v Speaker 1>there to snuggle with and all of the things that

0:55:35.920 --> 0:55:38.759
<v Speaker 1>you want to make yourself feel better. So that's a

0:55:38.760 --> 0:55:41.799
<v Speaker 1>great point to bring up to, like, that's what her

0:55:41.840 --> 0:55:44.120
<v Speaker 1>idea of you is, not what your idea of what

0:55:44.160 --> 0:55:48.480
<v Speaker 1>you want is. Yeah, I mean I actually went to

0:55:48.560 --> 0:55:51.680
<v Speaker 1>law school with the idea that I wouldn't meet, you know,

0:55:51.840 --> 0:55:54.279
<v Speaker 1>my future husband there, but I actually started dating him

0:55:54.400 --> 0:55:56.640
<v Speaker 1>right before I got to law school, so that didn't

0:55:56.680 --> 0:55:59.560
<v Speaker 1>work out, but it really was for the best because

0:55:59.600 --> 0:56:02.160
<v Speaker 1>now I definitely don't ever want to date another lawyer

0:56:02.200 --> 0:56:03.960
<v Speaker 1>after I'm done working, i't eople want to talk to

0:56:03.960 --> 0:56:08.080
<v Speaker 1>other lawyers. Um, and he has always been the one,

0:56:08.280 --> 0:56:11.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, to tell me basically, you're doing too much,

0:56:11.080 --> 0:56:14.080
<v Speaker 1>Like you're fine, You've got this. You've studied hard, you know,

0:56:14.120 --> 0:56:16.680
<v Speaker 1>for the last three and a half, you know, almost

0:56:16.680 --> 0:56:20.120
<v Speaker 1>four years, and that to me is just way more

0:56:20.160 --> 0:56:24.279
<v Speaker 1>important than you know, introducing him at coctial parties and

0:56:24.600 --> 0:56:26.640
<v Speaker 1>saying what he does. Yeah, I know, it sounds like

0:56:26.680 --> 0:56:29.080
<v Speaker 1>you know yourself and you're pretty secure and self assured,

0:56:29.120 --> 0:56:31.680
<v Speaker 1>and those are really the most important qualities you can have.

0:56:31.800 --> 0:56:34.399
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, it'll be an easier conversation than you think.

0:56:34.440 --> 0:56:36.720
<v Speaker 1>And just remember when you're having it, or you're writing

0:56:36.719 --> 0:56:39.759
<v Speaker 1>an email, however you decide to uh, you know, approach it,

0:56:39.920 --> 0:56:43.560
<v Speaker 1>just remember like you're doing this out of love and respect. Yeah,

0:56:43.760 --> 0:56:47.560
<v Speaker 1>that's that's true. I definitely should give her some more credit,

0:56:47.640 --> 0:56:50.040
<v Speaker 1>and I'm sure she knows deep down that it is

0:56:50.120 --> 0:56:52.400
<v Speaker 1>hurtful because sometimes she does backtrack and she'll be like,

0:56:52.600 --> 0:56:55.479
<v Speaker 1>sorry not to you know, do exactly what I'm doing,

0:56:55.600 --> 0:56:59.160
<v Speaker 1>but not to di dig on him. But and also

0:56:59.200 --> 0:57:01.400
<v Speaker 1>when you do have these conversations with your friends, like

0:57:01.440 --> 0:57:03.560
<v Speaker 1>I want to remind everybody that more often than not,

0:57:03.719 --> 0:57:07.880
<v Speaker 1>you become closer to them. That's true. I'm just non

0:57:07.960 --> 0:57:13.040
<v Speaker 1>confrontational with her because she does tend to take things

0:57:13.080 --> 0:57:16.160
<v Speaker 1>a little personally. But she's also pretty self aware, so

0:57:16.280 --> 0:57:19.480
<v Speaker 1>I think that she would be able to recognize and

0:57:19.520 --> 0:57:21.960
<v Speaker 1>as long as I, like you guys said, like tell

0:57:22.000 --> 0:57:25.200
<v Speaker 1>her not mentioning that she hasn't been in a relationship,

0:57:25.240 --> 0:57:26.760
<v Speaker 1>but just that this is somebody that I love, and

0:57:26.800 --> 0:57:30.000
<v Speaker 1>you're somebody that I love, and it will be really

0:57:30.040 --> 0:57:33.760
<v Speaker 1>awkward if I do marry this guy and your bride'smaid. Yeah,

0:57:34.440 --> 0:57:36.600
<v Speaker 1>so yeah, I think I am going to have that

0:57:36.640 --> 0:57:40.280
<v Speaker 1>conversation with her. And are you thinking about marrying your boyfriend?

0:57:40.640 --> 0:57:44.320
<v Speaker 1>Is that a real thing? You know, we have definitely

0:57:44.320 --> 0:57:46.880
<v Speaker 1>talked about it. I have no plans of knocking with

0:57:46.960 --> 0:57:49.040
<v Speaker 1>him forever, Like, there's no reason I wouldn't want to

0:57:49.040 --> 0:57:52.680
<v Speaker 1>marry him, but just that we're young and I just

0:57:52.720 --> 0:57:54.520
<v Speaker 1>got out of school and this is my first year

0:57:54.560 --> 0:57:57.280
<v Speaker 1>working and I kind of want to see, you know,

0:57:57.360 --> 0:57:59.840
<v Speaker 1>where my career takes me and and all that stuff.

0:57:59.880 --> 0:58:03.919
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I'm not really running to walk down

0:58:03.920 --> 0:58:07.760
<v Speaker 1>the Yeah. Yeah, I don't get married to just wait.

0:58:08.040 --> 0:58:11.560
<v Speaker 1>That's just good advice from anybody and for anybody. Yeah,

0:58:11.720 --> 0:58:15.640
<v Speaker 1>it's been a long time, but um, I think that

0:58:15.800 --> 0:58:21.360
<v Speaker 1>we'll both continue to grow. And I want to accomplish

0:58:21.400 --> 0:58:24.800
<v Speaker 1>some more personal goals to me before I get married,

0:58:24.840 --> 0:58:28.560
<v Speaker 1>and that requires some like you know, splitting up my attention.

0:58:29.160 --> 0:58:31.920
<v Speaker 1>But we're good, well awesome, Well good, it sounds like

0:58:31.920 --> 0:58:34.120
<v Speaker 1>the problem solved. So let us know what happens after

0:58:34.160 --> 0:58:37.400
<v Speaker 1>you talk to your friend. Okay, I will all right.

0:58:37.440 --> 0:58:42.720
<v Speaker 1>Thanks for calling in, Christina, Thanks bye bye. We had

0:58:42.760 --> 0:58:49.600
<v Speaker 1>such genuine sweet women calling in today, Catherine, like really earnest. Yeah,

0:58:49.760 --> 0:58:51.640
<v Speaker 1>I wish I was that nice when I was twenty five,

0:58:51.680 --> 0:58:54.960
<v Speaker 1>I was such a cunt. Like they're so so sweet

0:58:55.160 --> 0:58:58.640
<v Speaker 1>and this generation is just I mean, not this generation,

0:58:58.800 --> 0:59:02.840
<v Speaker 1>that generation after mine. It is just feels like much

0:59:03.200 --> 0:59:06.480
<v Speaker 1>more earnest, you know, in a good way. Yeah, and

0:59:06.600 --> 0:59:09.080
<v Speaker 1>just like trying to look out for her friends feelings

0:59:09.120 --> 0:59:12.840
<v Speaker 1>even while her feelings are getting hurt. Yeah. Yeah. The

0:59:12.840 --> 0:59:14.600
<v Speaker 1>other thing that that makes me think of two is

0:59:14.640 --> 0:59:17.760
<v Speaker 1>just like our job being our whole life or having

0:59:17.800 --> 0:59:19.920
<v Speaker 1>to make our passion our job. I feel like it's

0:59:19.920 --> 0:59:24.080
<v Speaker 1>a very not just American concept, but it is very cultural,

0:59:24.320 --> 0:59:27.600
<v Speaker 1>Like not every culture has the ideal that your job

0:59:27.720 --> 0:59:29.960
<v Speaker 1>has to be everything to you and like give you

0:59:30.040 --> 0:59:33.520
<v Speaker 1>spiritual fulfillment and all this stuff. Like it's actually okay

0:59:33.600 --> 0:59:35.840
<v Speaker 1>if someone's job is just a means to an end

0:59:35.880 --> 0:59:38.520
<v Speaker 1>and they're pulling their weight and being good to someone

0:59:38.520 --> 0:59:41.360
<v Speaker 1>in a relationship. Well, it was interesting because when Taylor

0:59:41.400 --> 0:59:44.000
<v Speaker 1>was saying that earlier, you know, like more than fifty

0:59:44.040 --> 0:59:45.840
<v Speaker 1>percent of your time is on the road, and you

0:59:45.880 --> 0:59:48.080
<v Speaker 1>want to incorporate your life into your work and your

0:59:48.120 --> 0:59:50.800
<v Speaker 1>work into your life. Like I when I was younger,

0:59:50.880 --> 0:59:52.400
<v Speaker 1>I was like I worked work to work, to work

0:59:52.440 --> 0:59:53.920
<v Speaker 1>to work to worked worked, and I was just like, no,

0:59:54.000 --> 0:59:55.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to do this my whole life, you know.

0:59:56.160 --> 0:59:58.760
<v Speaker 1>And now that I take time and I take set

0:59:58.800 --> 1:00:02.320
<v Speaker 1>time aside for long breaks and I treat myself to

1:00:02.440 --> 1:00:05.200
<v Speaker 1>like the vacations that I always dreamt about going on,

1:00:05.640 --> 1:00:07.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, I am able to give so much more

1:00:07.840 --> 1:00:09.720
<v Speaker 1>to my work life when I'm doing it and to

1:00:09.800 --> 1:00:12.560
<v Speaker 1>be so las or focused because I reward myself in

1:00:12.600 --> 1:00:15.200
<v Speaker 1>these other ways, which is like, you know, personal growth

1:00:15.240 --> 1:00:17.360
<v Speaker 1>and being able to become a great skier, which was

1:00:17.400 --> 1:00:20.000
<v Speaker 1>important to me, and whatever is important to you, know,

1:00:20.120 --> 1:00:22.680
<v Speaker 1>whoever you are, whatever is important to you. But it

1:00:22.840 --> 1:00:25.720
<v Speaker 1>is a very Americana thing to be, like, my work

1:00:25.840 --> 1:00:27.360
<v Speaker 1>is my life, and my life is my work. And

1:00:27.400 --> 1:00:30.080
<v Speaker 1>when you're in the entertainment industry, it does bleed together

1:00:30.200 --> 1:00:33.200
<v Speaker 1>because it's all about what you're doing. When you're not working,

1:00:33.280 --> 1:00:36.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, it becomes the same thing. So I think

1:00:36.080 --> 1:00:38.400
<v Speaker 1>a lot of us can relate to that too. Yeah,

1:00:38.600 --> 1:00:41.280
<v Speaker 1>do you find that as well, Taylor? Oh? Absolutely. I

1:00:41.280 --> 1:00:44.280
<v Speaker 1>think it's really beautiful that she has somebody in her

1:00:44.360 --> 1:00:48.120
<v Speaker 1>life that is able to say, hey, slow down, appreciate

1:00:48.280 --> 1:00:51.840
<v Speaker 1>how hard you've worked and recognize that you can take

1:00:51.880 --> 1:00:54.560
<v Speaker 1>time for yourself now and it doesn't need to be

1:00:55.200 --> 1:00:58.480
<v Speaker 1>this endless race to the vision like you did it

1:00:58.640 --> 1:01:02.200
<v Speaker 1>you're a lawyer. It's it's amazing, Like I think that

1:01:02.360 --> 1:01:06.040
<v Speaker 1>for high achieving people like her, it is so important

1:01:06.080 --> 1:01:10.040
<v Speaker 1>to have people like that in your life to remind

1:01:10.080 --> 1:01:12.080
<v Speaker 1>you to take care of yourself so you don't just

1:01:12.120 --> 1:01:16.040
<v Speaker 1>become this slave to your career. Yeah, and like, I

1:01:16.040 --> 1:01:18.000
<v Speaker 1>know she's not thinking about marriage yet, but if they

1:01:18.040 --> 1:01:20.600
<v Speaker 1>were to have kids in the future, it's like if

1:01:20.640 --> 1:01:22.960
<v Speaker 1>she has to work late night, it's he's there, you know,

1:01:23.160 --> 1:01:26.200
<v Speaker 1>he's they're holding down the fort. Like I think Chelsea said,

1:01:26.320 --> 1:01:28.280
<v Speaker 1>he's got dinner ready when you come home. Yeah, that's

1:01:28.320 --> 1:01:29.919
<v Speaker 1>the way of the world. That's the way it's going.

1:01:30.000 --> 1:01:32.040
<v Speaker 1>Men are going to stay at home raise children until

1:01:32.080 --> 1:01:35.000
<v Speaker 1>we can force them to birth them and then the

1:01:35.120 --> 1:01:38.960
<v Speaker 1>tables are going to be reversed. So everybody just get ready, okay,

1:01:39.000 --> 1:01:40.640
<v Speaker 1>And a lot of men are signing up for this.

1:01:40.760 --> 1:01:42.360
<v Speaker 1>A lot of my friends are dating men that are

1:01:42.400 --> 1:01:45.160
<v Speaker 1>stay at home dads that are killing it, that are

1:01:45.240 --> 1:01:48.000
<v Speaker 1>great fathers, you know, and that have no problem with

1:01:48.040 --> 1:01:51.200
<v Speaker 1>their women or their why they're women. They're women being

1:01:51.200 --> 1:01:55.160
<v Speaker 1>more successful, you know, and being the breadwinners. Like that's hot.

1:01:55.440 --> 1:01:59.160
<v Speaker 1>I see men doing that. I'm like, fun, that's sexy. Yeah. Well,

1:01:59.160 --> 1:02:03.280
<v Speaker 1>our last mail comes from Jenny. She says, Dear Chelsea,

1:02:03.560 --> 1:02:05.479
<v Speaker 1>my twenty one year old daughter and I are both

1:02:05.480 --> 1:02:09.120
<v Speaker 1>big fans. I'm writing because my daughter is really angry

1:02:09.160 --> 1:02:11.200
<v Speaker 1>with me due to the fact that she heard me

1:02:11.280 --> 1:02:15.800
<v Speaker 1>having sex with a twenty seven year old rando. I've apologized,

1:02:15.840 --> 1:02:20.040
<v Speaker 1>but she will not forgive me. She called me disgusting, perverted, slutty,

1:02:20.080 --> 1:02:22.240
<v Speaker 1>and all kinds of terrible things, and now she won't

1:02:22.240 --> 1:02:25.840
<v Speaker 1>speak to me. She seems most upset by the age difference.

1:02:25.960 --> 1:02:28.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm forty six. I want to be a role model

1:02:28.760 --> 1:02:32.840
<v Speaker 1>and teach her how to own her sexuality, be sexually positive, etcetera.

1:02:33.040 --> 1:02:35.120
<v Speaker 1>So it's hard for me to acknowledge and validate her

1:02:35.160 --> 1:02:38.200
<v Speaker 1>anger because I kind of feel like a badass. The

1:02:38.240 --> 1:02:40.520
<v Speaker 1>man is not someone I will ever see again or

1:02:40.560 --> 1:02:43.280
<v Speaker 1>ever ask her to meet. After being married and a

1:02:43.360 --> 1:02:45.520
<v Speaker 1>mom for the past twenty five years, I'm ready to

1:02:45.560 --> 1:02:47.600
<v Speaker 1>live my life on my own terms. But I feel

1:02:47.640 --> 1:02:51.560
<v Speaker 1>super shitty about my adult daughter's vitriol. Have I traumatized her?

1:02:51.680 --> 1:02:54.520
<v Speaker 1>Am I a monster for choosing myself? When is it

1:02:54.560 --> 1:02:57.480
<v Speaker 1>okay for me to live? Most importantly, how can I

1:02:57.520 --> 1:02:59.640
<v Speaker 1>get her to forgive me? Can you get her to

1:02:59.680 --> 1:03:02.840
<v Speaker 1>forgive me? I think she'll listen to you. I miss her,

1:03:02.880 --> 1:03:05.440
<v Speaker 1>I love her hugs and kisses. We both love you,

1:03:05.520 --> 1:03:09.840
<v Speaker 1>so Jenny, Yes, absolutely, I want you to forgive your mother. Jenny,

1:03:10.200 --> 1:03:12.800
<v Speaker 1>listen to me. You do not want to be sitting

1:03:12.840 --> 1:03:15.640
<v Speaker 1>there angry at your mom. Just get over that part.

1:03:15.880 --> 1:03:18.520
<v Speaker 1>I understand hearing your mother have sex is not ideal,

1:03:18.960 --> 1:03:22.760
<v Speaker 1>so that's a separate issue. But you don't want to

1:03:22.800 --> 1:03:25.560
<v Speaker 1>spend your time being mad at your mother. She loves you,

1:03:25.560 --> 1:03:28.320
<v Speaker 1>you love her. It's unsettling what happened, but you can

1:03:28.320 --> 1:03:31.160
<v Speaker 1>get past that. As for the mother, yeah, you want

1:03:31.160 --> 1:03:32.560
<v Speaker 1>to live your best life, but you want to be

1:03:32.600 --> 1:03:35.120
<v Speaker 1>respectful of your children and their feelings too. This is

1:03:35.120 --> 1:03:37.600
<v Speaker 1>coming from a parent, and you want to make sure

1:03:37.640 --> 1:03:40.280
<v Speaker 1>that you know you know that there are boundaries and

1:03:40.640 --> 1:03:43.120
<v Speaker 1>letting your daughter here you have sex is not ideal.

1:03:43.240 --> 1:03:45.480
<v Speaker 1>So you know that you made a mistake or a

1:03:45.520 --> 1:03:49.920
<v Speaker 1>misjudgment and you've apologized. I would just say apologize again,

1:03:50.040 --> 1:03:51.800
<v Speaker 1>mean it, and then give her her space for her

1:03:51.840 --> 1:03:53.920
<v Speaker 1>to come back when she's okay to talk to you again,

1:03:53.960 --> 1:03:56.680
<v Speaker 1>and don't push it anymore. Just let her come back

1:03:57.160 --> 1:03:59.760
<v Speaker 1>and to the daughter when you are ready to do that,

1:04:00.200 --> 1:04:02.440
<v Speaker 1>do that. I think it's a really tricky situation when

1:04:02.440 --> 1:04:05.760
<v Speaker 1>women are coming into their own and going through divorces

1:04:05.760 --> 1:04:08.040
<v Speaker 1>and they have children, and how do you balance your

1:04:08.080 --> 1:04:10.320
<v Speaker 1>sex life. And because that's no one who wants to

1:04:10.320 --> 1:04:12.720
<v Speaker 1>hear their parents having sex. I mean, I'm still scarred

1:04:12.720 --> 1:04:14.400
<v Speaker 1>from walking in on my parents when I was eight.

1:04:14.800 --> 1:04:17.080
<v Speaker 1>You know, I haven't gotten that image out of my mind,

1:04:17.680 --> 1:04:20.080
<v Speaker 1>so I can only imagine what it's like as an

1:04:20.120 --> 1:04:22.880
<v Speaker 1>adult to hear that. But these aren't life or death issues,

1:04:22.920 --> 1:04:25.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, this is nothing to be serious, that's serious

1:04:25.560 --> 1:04:31.280
<v Speaker 1>about seriously angry about Taylor. Yeah, I guess I'm just confused.

1:04:31.960 --> 1:04:35.240
<v Speaker 1>I'd like more details on the situation, like why did

1:04:35.360 --> 1:04:38.200
<v Speaker 1>she hear you? Like, did you have somebody? Oh, does

1:04:38.240 --> 1:04:41.520
<v Speaker 1>your daughter live at home with you? Does she go

1:04:41.600 --> 1:04:44.160
<v Speaker 1>to college? Like? Does she not live with you? Did

1:04:44.200 --> 1:04:46.600
<v Speaker 1>she come home when you thought she wasn't going to

1:04:46.680 --> 1:04:49.920
<v Speaker 1>be home? Did you have somebody over knowing she was home?

1:04:50.280 --> 1:04:53.600
<v Speaker 1>Because if if you like had somebody over knowing she

1:04:53.760 --> 1:04:57.720
<v Speaker 1>was home, that I could see is a little bit

1:04:57.760 --> 1:05:00.240
<v Speaker 1>of like have some boundaries, you know, your kids home,

1:05:00.720 --> 1:05:04.040
<v Speaker 1>but if you didn't know, Yeah, I did email back

1:05:04.080 --> 1:05:06.560
<v Speaker 1>and forth a little bit with her, and it was

1:05:06.640 --> 1:05:09.480
<v Speaker 1>unintentional and they do live together, So I don't know

1:05:09.520 --> 1:05:11.600
<v Speaker 1>if if she came back home like while it was

1:05:11.640 --> 1:05:13.920
<v Speaker 1>in progress, But that was kind of the vibe I

1:05:13.960 --> 1:05:19.080
<v Speaker 1>got that she didn't think her daughter was coming right, yeah, okay, yeah,

1:05:19.120 --> 1:05:23.120
<v Speaker 1>I mean if if she did her best to make

1:05:23.120 --> 1:05:27.280
<v Speaker 1>sure that you weren't going to interact with her sex life,

1:05:28.440 --> 1:05:32.720
<v Speaker 1>then why why are you really mad at your mom?

1:05:32.880 --> 1:05:36.120
<v Speaker 1>Like I would, I would challenge you if you're listening

1:05:36.160 --> 1:05:38.360
<v Speaker 1>to this. If you're not, I would tell your mom

1:05:38.400 --> 1:05:42.440
<v Speaker 1>to ask you why are you really angry about this?

1:05:42.480 --> 1:05:45.480
<v Speaker 1>Because it's not cool to like call your mom slutty

1:05:45.560 --> 1:05:49.320
<v Speaker 1>and perverted for having sex with someone younger than her.

1:05:50.040 --> 1:05:53.280
<v Speaker 1>I understand it making you uncomfortable, I like fully get that,

1:05:54.080 --> 1:05:58.560
<v Speaker 1>but I'm just curious why you're so angry if if

1:05:58.600 --> 1:06:02.040
<v Speaker 1>it is, like, how could you do that in the

1:06:02.080 --> 1:06:05.280
<v Speaker 1>house while I'm there? I understand that, But if that

1:06:05.360 --> 1:06:09.840
<v Speaker 1>was unintentional, then you might need to just process those

1:06:09.880 --> 1:06:13.040
<v Speaker 1>feelings on your own and figure out what's underneath it

1:06:13.120 --> 1:06:15.640
<v Speaker 1>for you. And it might just be that you're uncomfortable

1:06:15.680 --> 1:06:20.560
<v Speaker 1>with it. But there's not anything technically wrong happening, you know,

1:06:20.600 --> 1:06:24.720
<v Speaker 1>because there's plenty of things that I react to in

1:06:24.920 --> 1:06:28.840
<v Speaker 1>a judgmental way that I know is not fair. So

1:06:29.360 --> 1:06:32.240
<v Speaker 1>you know, I don't want to presume to know everything

1:06:32.280 --> 1:06:35.040
<v Speaker 1>about the situation in your relationship with your mom. But

1:06:35.760 --> 1:06:37.920
<v Speaker 1>it sounds like, based on a little information that I have,

1:06:38.080 --> 1:06:41.520
<v Speaker 1>that you are just sort of like grossed out by

1:06:41.560 --> 1:06:46.280
<v Speaker 1>what you heard by accident, and it's making you angry

1:06:46.280 --> 1:06:48.880
<v Speaker 1>that you have to even see your mom that way

1:06:49.240 --> 1:06:52.280
<v Speaker 1>when she's your mom. Yeah, and it's small sense of

1:06:52.320 --> 1:06:54.840
<v Speaker 1>betrayal as like a child, you know, it's kind of

1:06:54.880 --> 1:06:58.880
<v Speaker 1>a child it's a childlike reaction. It's and that's okay.

1:06:58.920 --> 1:07:01.160
<v Speaker 1>But again, you know, it's not cool to call your

1:07:01.160 --> 1:07:04.040
<v Speaker 1>mom slut or you know, she's not cheating on your dad,

1:07:04.160 --> 1:07:06.520
<v Speaker 1>she's she's living her life. She thought you weren't home

1:07:06.640 --> 1:07:09.040
<v Speaker 1>like that. You guys both just have to get past it.

1:07:09.080 --> 1:07:12.360
<v Speaker 1>Except that it was an ideal. Nobody liked this situation,

1:07:13.240 --> 1:07:16.440
<v Speaker 1>her included, and move on. You know, there are more

1:07:16.440 --> 1:07:18.600
<v Speaker 1>important issues you're going to have to face in life

1:07:18.600 --> 1:07:22.160
<v Speaker 1>than this. So the way you react to difficult situations

1:07:22.320 --> 1:07:25.400
<v Speaker 1>is like, you know, character building. So remember that. Yeah,

1:07:25.480 --> 1:07:27.160
<v Speaker 1>and also these days, like it's not okay to call

1:07:27.200 --> 1:07:30.720
<v Speaker 1>anybody's bloody, especially your mom. And like good for you, Jenny,

1:07:30.960 --> 1:07:34.560
<v Speaker 1>Like I think it's great she's experiencing some new things,

1:07:34.760 --> 1:07:38.000
<v Speaker 1>having some fun, I mean, have some fun quietly when

1:07:38.000 --> 1:07:40.040
<v Speaker 1>your kid is home or maybe when they're out of town.

1:07:40.080 --> 1:07:43.240
<v Speaker 1>But I mean, good for Jenny. Yeah, her daughter definitely

1:07:43.280 --> 1:07:47.560
<v Speaker 1>doesn't want to hear that. We'll put it in a

1:07:47.600 --> 1:07:50.080
<v Speaker 1>little disclaimer like mud, just like she didn't make you

1:07:50.120 --> 1:07:53.280
<v Speaker 1>sit down enough breakfast with the guy she banged, like

1:07:54.680 --> 1:07:58.360
<v Speaker 1>you accidentally heard her. It's you know, it sucks, as

1:07:58.480 --> 1:08:02.000
<v Speaker 1>Chelsea said, it's not ideal, but and it's okay if

1:08:02.000 --> 1:08:03.720
<v Speaker 1>you have to be like mom, I can't talk to

1:08:03.720 --> 1:08:06.120
<v Speaker 1>you for a little bit, Like I'm not mad at you.

1:08:06.120 --> 1:08:09.160
<v Speaker 1>You didn't do anything wrong. I know that. Logically, my

1:08:09.240 --> 1:08:11.520
<v Speaker 1>skin is just crawling a little bit because I don't

1:08:11.520 --> 1:08:14.600
<v Speaker 1>want to think of my mother having sex with someone

1:08:14.680 --> 1:08:18.320
<v Speaker 1>I would also be trying to date in my age group.

1:08:18.479 --> 1:08:21.120
<v Speaker 1>Like it's fine to just be self aware and be like,

1:08:21.200 --> 1:08:23.679
<v Speaker 1>this is why it weirds me out. I know that

1:08:24.760 --> 1:08:29.320
<v Speaker 1>technically you did nothing wrong and I have no right

1:08:29.360 --> 1:08:31.800
<v Speaker 1>to be angry with you, but I just need to

1:08:31.880 --> 1:08:35.240
<v Speaker 1>like put some space in between me and the noises

1:08:35.280 --> 1:08:39.600
<v Speaker 1>you were making. Yeah, and get a white noise machine.

1:08:39.640 --> 1:08:44.040
<v Speaker 1>Maybe also, that's actually great advice. That's great advice just

1:08:44.120 --> 1:08:50.200
<v Speaker 1>for all the time, anytime. Maybe something with like seagulls, Yeah,

1:08:50.400 --> 1:08:57.320
<v Speaker 1>seagulls or sirens either one. Well, we'll take a quick

1:08:57.360 --> 1:08:59.400
<v Speaker 1>break right now and we'll be back to wrap up

1:08:59.400 --> 1:09:07.200
<v Speaker 1>with Taylor. Well, Taylor, first of all, thank you for

1:09:07.320 --> 1:09:10.320
<v Speaker 1>being a contributor to today's podcast, because I like your

1:09:10.640 --> 1:09:13.320
<v Speaker 1>your very strong minded and you have solid advice and

1:09:13.360 --> 1:09:15.800
<v Speaker 1>you're sure of yourself, which I think is just the

1:09:15.800 --> 1:09:19.240
<v Speaker 1>best quality any woman could have. Oh, thank you. I

1:09:19.280 --> 1:09:22.160
<v Speaker 1>was very nervous about giving advice, but I knew but

1:09:22.200 --> 1:09:23.680
<v Speaker 1>I knew you'd be here. So I'm like, well, if

1:09:23.720 --> 1:09:27.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't have any good advice, Chelsea can just take it. Yeah, exactly,

1:09:28.280 --> 1:09:30.760
<v Speaker 1>whether it's good or bad, at least, at least you

1:09:30.840 --> 1:09:33.720
<v Speaker 1>give it with with the intention that it's crushing. You know,

1:09:34.280 --> 1:09:37.559
<v Speaker 1>you're like, yeah, this is fucking awesome. It's like when

1:09:37.600 --> 1:09:40.559
<v Speaker 1>you're bombing a TV taping and you're like, that'll sweeten it.

1:09:40.560 --> 1:09:43.679
<v Speaker 1>It's okay. I know. It's like when I would interview

1:09:43.720 --> 1:09:46.439
<v Speaker 1>people that were like duds on my shows. Whenever I

1:09:46.439 --> 1:09:48.519
<v Speaker 1>would interview duds, I'd be like, Okay, how do I

1:09:48.600 --> 1:09:52.879
<v Speaker 1>punctuate this with positivity so that not everybody knows how

1:09:53.040 --> 1:09:56.000
<v Speaker 1>bored I was during that interview? And then I was like, wait,

1:09:56.040 --> 1:09:58.080
<v Speaker 1>there's no way to do that. There's no way to

1:09:58.240 --> 1:10:00.360
<v Speaker 1>fake an interview after you've already had did it by

1:10:00.400 --> 1:10:06.879
<v Speaker 1>saying goodbye with a big smile on your face. Well, Taylor,

1:10:06.920 --> 1:10:10.360
<v Speaker 1>do you have any advice that you'd like from Chelsea? Oh?

1:10:10.439 --> 1:10:13.640
<v Speaker 1>My gosh, I mean so many questions. I guess the

1:10:13.800 --> 1:10:17.200
<v Speaker 1>question that I would ask you, as somebody who's been

1:10:17.320 --> 1:10:22.760
<v Speaker 1>very successful in this business is how do you separate

1:10:23.120 --> 1:10:25.080
<v Speaker 1>We've touched on this a little bit in this episode,

1:10:25.080 --> 1:10:29.040
<v Speaker 1>but how do you separate your self worth from your

1:10:29.080 --> 1:10:32.640
<v Speaker 1>career so that it's not all just tied up in

1:10:32.760 --> 1:10:34.920
<v Speaker 1>how your career is going. Was that something that you

1:10:35.040 --> 1:10:37.320
<v Speaker 1>ever had to struggle with? Have you always been good

1:10:37.360 --> 1:10:40.320
<v Speaker 1>about keeping who you are separate from what you do?

1:10:40.400 --> 1:10:45.120
<v Speaker 1>Because I think my identity is wrapped up in my job,

1:10:45.240 --> 1:10:46.559
<v Speaker 1>and part of it is that I've been doing it

1:10:46.600 --> 1:10:49.040
<v Speaker 1>since I was a teenager, and part of it is

1:10:49.080 --> 1:10:51.479
<v Speaker 1>just that I'm probably not as well rounded as I

1:10:51.520 --> 1:10:53.360
<v Speaker 1>want to be. But that was something that I found

1:10:53.920 --> 1:10:59.679
<v Speaker 1>during quarantine, is that outside of stand up, I didn't

1:10:59.720 --> 1:11:01.640
<v Speaker 1>feel like I knew who I was or if I

1:11:01.680 --> 1:11:04.920
<v Speaker 1>felt like I had much worth if I wasn't working

1:11:04.960 --> 1:11:07.559
<v Speaker 1>all the time. So my question is, did you struggle

1:11:07.600 --> 1:11:10.160
<v Speaker 1>with that. Do you struggle with that? And if you have,

1:11:10.400 --> 1:11:13.160
<v Speaker 1>how do you combat that? Yeah? Absolutely, I mean that's

1:11:13.400 --> 1:11:15.360
<v Speaker 1>one of the reasons I quit my show. I was like,

1:11:15.400 --> 1:11:17.479
<v Speaker 1>this is all I am. Everyone just I didn't have

1:11:17.520 --> 1:11:20.439
<v Speaker 1>a family, I didn't have children, I wasn't married. So

1:11:20.560 --> 1:11:23.800
<v Speaker 1>I realized, I'm like, is this who I everything? Like

1:11:24.040 --> 1:11:27.360
<v Speaker 1>my career because for me that that wasn't enough. I

1:11:27.400 --> 1:11:30.799
<v Speaker 1>wanted to have a personal like life that was separate,

1:11:31.200 --> 1:11:33.920
<v Speaker 1>and I wanted to like get more well rounded. Like

1:11:33.960 --> 1:11:37.839
<v Speaker 1>you said, I've had this exact conversation with myself many times,

1:11:38.240 --> 1:11:42.000
<v Speaker 1>and any time I've been there, I have just said

1:11:42.160 --> 1:11:45.879
<v Speaker 1>no to things to make myself go to the places

1:11:45.920 --> 1:11:50.160
<v Speaker 1>that I'm uncomfortable with going and existing where oh you're

1:11:50.160 --> 1:11:52.439
<v Speaker 1>no longer the host of a TV show, Okay, well

1:11:52.439 --> 1:11:54.599
<v Speaker 1>what are you now? It's like, well, me, now, this

1:11:54.640 --> 1:11:57.200
<v Speaker 1>is what I'm doing now. And having the confidence in

1:11:57.240 --> 1:12:00.400
<v Speaker 1>yourself to kind of explore that because we don't know

1:12:00.479 --> 1:12:03.160
<v Speaker 1>all parts of ourselves yet. You know, I still don't.

1:12:03.280 --> 1:12:06.640
<v Speaker 1>You certainly don't. We're always growing, we're always learning, and

1:12:06.680 --> 1:12:10.080
<v Speaker 1>it's basically like how high you set the standard for yourself?

1:12:10.160 --> 1:12:12.760
<v Speaker 1>I think when you can say no to things, and

1:12:12.760 --> 1:12:14.439
<v Speaker 1>there's a period of time to do that, and there's

1:12:14.439 --> 1:12:17.559
<v Speaker 1>a period of there's a building period, right you're building

1:12:17.560 --> 1:12:20.160
<v Speaker 1>your career. You want to be lay the foundation so

1:12:20.200 --> 1:12:23.479
<v Speaker 1>that when you do feel confident enough to take some

1:12:23.560 --> 1:12:27.160
<v Speaker 1>time off or or go in a different direction, you've

1:12:27.200 --> 1:12:31.840
<v Speaker 1>already laid the groundwork that any major hiccup or retreat

1:12:32.000 --> 1:12:35.599
<v Speaker 1>isn't going to have a deleterious impact on your all

1:12:35.640 --> 1:12:38.439
<v Speaker 1>over career. So I would say that it's just a

1:12:38.479 --> 1:12:41.400
<v Speaker 1>constant process of you know, being really honest with yourself,

1:12:41.400 --> 1:12:44.240
<v Speaker 1>which is really hard, especially in this industry, because half

1:12:44.240 --> 1:12:46.839
<v Speaker 1>the time I feel like when I start to lose

1:12:47.160 --> 1:12:51.000
<v Speaker 1>myself and I don't know myself well or I start

1:12:51.040 --> 1:12:53.120
<v Speaker 1>to have self doubt, that's the time that I need

1:12:53.160 --> 1:12:55.760
<v Speaker 1>to retreat and go do my own thing and like

1:12:56.040 --> 1:13:00.280
<v Speaker 1>fill up my gas tank with other ship. So Okay,

1:13:00.360 --> 1:13:03.880
<v Speaker 1>that's so comforting to hear because sometimes you feel like

1:13:04.200 --> 1:13:06.639
<v Speaker 1>nobody else feels that way, do you know what I mean?

1:13:06.640 --> 1:13:10.240
<v Speaker 1>Where you're like, well, nobody else who has reached the

1:13:10.320 --> 1:13:13.679
<v Speaker 1>level of success I'd like to reach feels that way.

1:13:13.720 --> 1:13:17.759
<v Speaker 1>They're just more balanced than I am. Or there. Okay

1:13:17.800 --> 1:13:19.639
<v Speaker 1>with it being that way, so it is so helpful

1:13:19.720 --> 1:13:22.280
<v Speaker 1>to hear from someone like you that you have gone

1:13:22.280 --> 1:13:25.360
<v Speaker 1>through periods of that and and just have to be

1:13:25.479 --> 1:13:29.400
<v Speaker 1>constantly reassessing where you are at and how you feel

1:13:29.520 --> 1:13:32.720
<v Speaker 1>about yourself and your identity. Absolutely, we all feel that way,

1:13:32.720 --> 1:13:34.760
<v Speaker 1>and you know, nothing that's going through any of our

1:13:34.800 --> 1:13:37.800
<v Speaker 1>brains is going through one person's brain. We're all in

1:13:37.840 --> 1:13:40.559
<v Speaker 1>this like, we all have the same things. So yeah,

1:13:40.720 --> 1:13:44.599
<v Speaker 1>definitely always remember that for sure, that everybody goes through

1:13:44.600 --> 1:13:48.720
<v Speaker 1>periods of self doubt, insecurity, self worth, and then when

1:13:48.760 --> 1:13:52.000
<v Speaker 1>you're successful, it's addictive. You want more and more and

1:13:52.080 --> 1:13:54.240
<v Speaker 1>more and more, and so you just have to be

1:13:54.280 --> 1:13:56.800
<v Speaker 1>mindful of that. And you're already in therapy, so that's

1:13:56.800 --> 1:13:59.240
<v Speaker 1>always going to be your best kind of gift to yourself,

1:13:59.760 --> 1:14:03.760
<v Speaker 1>right Absolutely, So, where can everybody find you? Taylor? I

1:14:03.840 --> 1:14:08.120
<v Speaker 1>am at Taylor Tomlinson on Twitter and Instagram, Taylor Thomlinson

1:14:08.200 --> 1:14:12.720
<v Speaker 1>Comedy on TikTok, my websites te tom comedy dot com.

1:14:12.760 --> 1:14:15.000
<v Speaker 1>You can go there for all of my tour dates.

1:14:15.240 --> 1:14:19.040
<v Speaker 1>I am fully on tour right now, and my Netflix

1:14:19.040 --> 1:14:22.719
<v Speaker 1>special Quarter Life Crisis that came out in is streaming

1:14:22.720 --> 1:14:25.920
<v Speaker 1>on Netflix. Awesome. Awesome, I had such a good time

1:14:25.920 --> 1:14:28.200
<v Speaker 1>with you today, me too. Thank you so much for

1:14:28.240 --> 1:14:30.839
<v Speaker 1>having me. This was lovely. Sometimes you do a podcast

1:14:30.840 --> 1:14:33.360
<v Speaker 1>and you're like, oh no, what did I what did

1:14:33.400 --> 1:14:36.599
<v Speaker 1>I agree to? And this was like so nice and

1:14:36.720 --> 1:14:39.559
<v Speaker 1>I was so excited to do it, so awesome, awesome. Well,

1:14:39.560 --> 1:14:42.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad we finally spoke and hung out. I hope

1:14:42.200 --> 1:14:44.960
<v Speaker 1>I see you again soon. Me too. Thank you so

1:14:45.040 --> 1:14:48.000
<v Speaker 1>nice to meet you as well. Katherine. Likewise, nice to

1:14:48.000 --> 1:14:51.200
<v Speaker 1>meet you. Taylor. Bye bye. And of course we can't

1:14:51.240 --> 1:14:54.040
<v Speaker 1>forget show dates. So what do you have coming up? Okay? Yes,

1:14:54.240 --> 1:14:57.160
<v Speaker 1>I have added more second shows to my stand up tour.

1:14:57.680 --> 1:15:00.800
<v Speaker 1>We have two shows in Winnipeg, two show in Toronto,

1:15:01.360 --> 1:15:05.720
<v Speaker 1>two shows in Kansas City, Missouri, two shows in Santa Rosa, California.

1:15:06.160 --> 1:15:08.840
<v Speaker 1>We've added a second show in Los Angeles at the Wiltern,

1:15:09.320 --> 1:15:12.000
<v Speaker 1>which is May five. I'm doing a late show in

1:15:12.160 --> 1:15:15.000
<v Speaker 1>l A. We added a second show to Montclair, New Jersey,

1:15:15.040 --> 1:15:18.560
<v Speaker 1>to Huntington, New York, to port Chester, New York. And

1:15:18.600 --> 1:15:22.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna be in Portland, Oregon February four, two shows.

1:15:22.400 --> 1:15:25.000
<v Speaker 1>There are tickets available for the second show. Then I'll

1:15:25.040 --> 1:15:28.720
<v Speaker 1>be in Eugene Oregon on February five, and then I'm

1:15:28.720 --> 1:15:32.880
<v Speaker 1>coming to all these fun little cities like Las Vegas, Springfield,

1:15:32.920 --> 1:15:37.720
<v Speaker 1>mass Honolulu, and Maui. So Maui's not a city, it's

1:15:37.720 --> 1:15:39.600
<v Speaker 1>an island. And when I learned how to pronounce the

1:15:39.640 --> 1:15:42.719
<v Speaker 1>city I'm performing in, I'll get back to you. Hey,

1:15:42.960 --> 1:15:45.599
<v Speaker 1>do you have a question you want to ask Chelsea

1:15:46.080 --> 1:15:50.240
<v Speaker 1>to get some advice right into Dear Chelsea Project at

1:15:50.320 --> 1:15:53.320
<v Speaker 1>gmail dot com. By