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Speaker 1: What's up you guys. So today I'm kind of just

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Speaker 1: going through my phone looking at old jokes that I

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Speaker 1: would have pitched at SNeW during Monday Night Pitch, and

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Speaker 1: I don't think I pitched any of these. Some of them,

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Speaker 1: I will say one that I know I pitched that

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Speaker 1: I was so proud of. I don't know if it's

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Speaker 1: any good, but one that I remember and I feel

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Speaker 1: so proud of and that's why I still remember, and

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Speaker 1: it really might be bad, is what if you host

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Speaker 1: whoever it was at the time, are at play a

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Speaker 1: woman who joins the Peace Corps because she thinks it's

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Speaker 1: a workout class.

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Speaker 2: Okay, they're laughing. Where does it go from there? I

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Speaker 2: don't know.

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Speaker 1: I have from September twenty twenty three. What if you

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Speaker 1: hook up with a weatherman hoping he'll name a hurricane

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Speaker 1: after you?

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Speaker 2: I do it?

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Speaker 1: A joke about white peace people quote going dancing. It

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Speaker 1: always feels like an event with white people. I don't,

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Speaker 1: and I love you guys, I don't. I never understood this.

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Speaker 1: I actually could pop off about this. I wasn't planning to,

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Speaker 1: but I always find it so strange that white people

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Speaker 1: are like, we're going dancing, and it's like and it's

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Speaker 1: an event, like on Friday, we're going dancing, and I'm

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Speaker 1: like sure, Like but with me and my friends and

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Speaker 1: who are not white and black people that I know,

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Speaker 1: it's like, if we go out, there's music playing at

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Speaker 1: the venue, people might start dancing. But it felt like

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Speaker 1: white people had to gear up and prepare themselves mentally,

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Speaker 1: like I've never heard of black I've never heard of

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Speaker 1: black person's I promise you say we're going dancing once.

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Speaker 1: But I hear white people say all the time, and

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Speaker 1: I'm just so curious about it. It doesn't feel like

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Speaker 1: you're having to gear up mentally, prepare practice ahead of time.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Do you guys say you're going dancing? Do you even

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Speaker 1: first of all, hold on, do you even go dancing?

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Speaker 1: They're white people in the room, Okay, you go dancing.

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Speaker 1: Do you say I'm going out dancing. We're going dancing, okay,

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Speaker 1: But before you started line dancing, which I imagine was recently,

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Speaker 1: were you going out dancing, would you say I'm going dancing?

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Speaker 2: You would? It's okay, no shame, this is the safe space. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I was a ballerina and I never said I'm going dancing,

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Speaker 1: but maybe because I'm black, I don't know. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: and I don't have all the answers, guys, and I

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Speaker 1: hope you have not come to this podcast for answers,

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Speaker 1: but more for questions. So anyway, guys, today I am

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Speaker 1: talking to someone absolutely phenomenal.

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Speaker 2: I am so excited to.

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Speaker 1: Speak to them, truly, truly, truly. Just their energy is

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Speaker 1: in the times I've met them in passing is so phenomenal.

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Speaker 1: I have a feeling I'm really gonna enjoy this conversation,

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Speaker 1: and thus you're gonna enjoy this conversation. I will be

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Speaker 1: speaking with Nicole Avante. My next guest is a best

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Speaker 1: selling author, award will meet. Ugh A, go what's happening?

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Speaker 1: You're making me nervous. I don't get stars quite literally, Nicole. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's good. Keep this all please so people can see

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Speaker 1: how I was fully melting down.

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Speaker 2: She can't form words, Okay, all right.

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Speaker 1: My next guest is a best selling author, award will

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Speaker 1: be winning, Oh my god winning. My next guest is

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Speaker 1: a best selling author, award winning film producer, entrepreneur, and

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Speaker 1: former diplomat to the United States.

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Speaker 2: Nicole, thank you.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't speak before, and you're so I feel so

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Speaker 1: supportive right now, they're clapping for me for doing the intro.

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Speaker 2: Potentially they'll keep in all the times. Potentially they'll keep in.

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Speaker 1: Me not being able to speak for fear and nerves

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Speaker 1: because Nicole is here. Oh my goodness, I'm I'm so

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Speaker 1: happy to talk to you. This is huge, awesome. Okay,

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Speaker 1: tell me what's going on on any given day.

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Speaker 2: Who do you want to say thanks to or what? Okay,

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Speaker 2: you know what I thought about it earlier. Of course

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Speaker 2: I was going to say thanks to my parents because

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Speaker 2: I talked to him every morning. But today, my friend,

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Speaker 2: right before I got here, just gifted me with the

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Speaker 2: most gorgeous crystal, which I thought it was gonna be

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Speaker 2: a crystal that you could just put on the table. Yeah no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: it's on a big stand. It's huge. I don't no,

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Speaker 2: weigh six hundred pounds and he just delivered. And he

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Speaker 2: just said, you know, I really thought about you, and

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Speaker 2: I thought you in touch should have this, and I've

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Speaker 2: been wanting to, you know, give you a gift for

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Speaker 2: so long and I'm so proud of you and this.

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Speaker 2: John McClain is his name. He has been my brother

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Speaker 2: forever and it was the But the reason it's so

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Speaker 2: important to me this week is because you know when

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Speaker 2: you have those weeks and you just feel does anyone

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Speaker 2: value me? Outside of my family? Just starting semple where

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Speaker 2: it's I told I told Ted last night, I go

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Speaker 2: I feel as if I'm a bank and everybody is

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Speaker 2: coming in and just withdrawing. It's just so withdraw can

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Speaker 2: you do this? Can you do that? But no one's

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Speaker 2: checking on me. So it's one of those like is

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Speaker 2: anyone making a deposit? Yes, yeah, anyone just gonna check

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Speaker 2: in and say hi, how are you? Or again the

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Speaker 2: gift showed up for absolutely no reason. It was just

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Speaker 2: to be kind, yeah, and to be generous and thoughtful,

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Speaker 2: and that is enough. And it's just I it moved

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Speaker 2: my heart so much because it was like, listen, hey,

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Speaker 2: I have a surprise for you. I've been thinking about you.

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Speaker 2: I've been wanting to give you something for so long.

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Speaker 2: I've been so proud of everything you're doing. And you know,

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Speaker 2: he was very close to my parents, and it just

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Speaker 2: was something today where I was like, oh, yes, thank

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Speaker 2: you Lord, that is thank you, thank you for the

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Speaker 2: good reminder. I've just been, you know, generosity coming in

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Speaker 2: for no other reason than just to be generous and kind. Yeah. No,

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Speaker 2: there's no agenda attached to it, just to be kind

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Speaker 2: and thought you'd like something. Yeah, because you know it's nice.

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Speaker 2: That is so nice. That is so nice.

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Speaker 1: And I love that it came right when you needed it,

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Speaker 1: right after you'd been talking to your husband, Ted sarandos,

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Speaker 1: CEO of Netflix, I should say for the people who don't,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I know, I know, but just as you

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Speaker 1: were inventing to him that like, oh my gosh, it

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Speaker 1: feels like everyone is just taking and wants something from

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Speaker 1: me and.

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Speaker 2: Growling and yeah, my energy is all over the place

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Speaker 2: and scattered. And we've all been there, yes, and you

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Speaker 2: know you just and we've all I'm sure we've all

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Speaker 2: played many characters, so we all do things. And it's

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Speaker 2: one of the lessons that my mother always said of

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Speaker 2: you know, please look at everyone with value everyone, And

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Speaker 2: it makes life so much easier when you know it

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Speaker 2: doesn't matter the title, doesn't matter what station they are

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Speaker 2: in life. But if you look at everyone like as

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Speaker 2: if they have value, it makes them feel good. They'll

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Speaker 2: pick up your energy that they'll understand, so it doesn't

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Speaker 2: matter if it's you know. And she always had me

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Speaker 2: in jobs that were of service jobs, so the waitress

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Speaker 2: and the hostess and working at the dry cleaner and

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Speaker 2: selling shoes and do it. But always, but since I

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Speaker 2: was fifteen, and she said, I promise you you will

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Speaker 2: thank me when you're older, because you The best way

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Speaker 2: for me to teach you about human nature and mankind

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Speaker 2: is you have to serve people. And you will see

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Speaker 2: the best of people. You will see the worst of people.

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Speaker 2: You'll get somewhere in the middle. You'll start to read energy,

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Speaker 2: You'll start to see you know, some people are raised

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Speaker 2: with manners and some people aren't, you know. And there's

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Speaker 2: nothing worse than an adult with terrible manners. Bad enough

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Speaker 2: when you have a child with bad manners.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy when and it's adult, because you go, where

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Speaker 1: did we go wrong? Was this a parenting thing? Did

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Speaker 1: you pick this up along the way, or did you.

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Speaker 2: Just not listen to your parents? I mean, because that

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Speaker 2: happens too. I have people that I've grown up with

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Speaker 2: that I've known, you know. The good news is I

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Speaker 2: have so many friends that we've been friends since kindergarten,

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Speaker 2: from the very beginning. Still friends and we all get

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Speaker 2: together a couple times a year, and there was two

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Speaker 2: people where we said, I wonder what happened because the

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Speaker 2: parents were great. Yeah, they were raised right, and they

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Speaker 2: just chose they made a choice. Yeah, and they just

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Speaker 2: went another way. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: My friend and I are often saying that a parent

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Speaker 1: can neither of a have kids. But we look at

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Speaker 1: some of the people we know, and we know some

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Speaker 1: of those people's parents and we haven't known them for

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Speaker 1: as long as you've grown your friends, but we go

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Speaker 1: their parent, their mother, their dad is so lovely. And again,

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Speaker 1: I know we're just getting tidbits them in passing, but

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Speaker 1: based on conversations with them and where their values seem

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Speaker 1: to align, it's like what happened here? And a parent

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Speaker 1: can only do so much. Like you're gonna try to

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Speaker 1: help shape this individual, and then they are going to

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Speaker 1: ultimately take what they want from that and become who

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Speaker 1: they're meant to are going to be.

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Speaker 2: My mom would always say, listen, I want to I

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Speaker 2: want to be able to look at myself in the

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Speaker 2: mirror and say to myself, I know that I gave

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Speaker 2: them everything that they needed, but it's ultimately their choice

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Speaker 2: on if they're going to take all the values that

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Speaker 2: I gave them and the lessons that I gave them.

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Speaker 2: And she was a real disciplinarian, but she let us

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Speaker 2: have fun. But you know, she just she was not

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Speaker 2: down for the child being brat or stepping out of bounds.

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Speaker 2: She was very much you know, you have to respect authority.

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Speaker 2: You have to respect your teachers and your coaches and

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Speaker 2: what have you. And yeah, she said, you just can't

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Speaker 2: go through life without that. So for me, it was

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Speaker 2: I'm so grateful that I did work from a very

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Speaker 2: young age and and and the positions that she did

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Speaker 2: put me in where it was no, not everyone's going

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Speaker 2: to be nice to you, and people are not going

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Speaker 2: to be respectful to you, and people won't even look

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Speaker 2: at you, and you need to know what that feels like.

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Speaker 2: So you need to know what that feels like, so

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Speaker 2: hopefully that you will go through life and and remember that.

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Speaker 2: So look at somebody when they say hello, look at

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Speaker 2: somebody when they walk in. You know. I mean I

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Speaker 2: go to restaurants. Sometimes depending on what it is, it

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Speaker 2: can be for me. But most of the times I'll

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Speaker 2: be standing right now. They want to look at you. Hi, Ted,

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Speaker 2: that happened the other night, and I wonder it just

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Speaker 2: poor Ted. I mean, he wanted to hide under the

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Speaker 2: table because he was like, he goes, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: am I god? No cool, everyone can hear you. He's like,

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Speaker 2: you're you're I go, Teddy, calm down. She understood. I

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Speaker 2: just said, hey, you know when people come into your restaurant,

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Speaker 2: say hi, guys, welcome everyone, something, but high Ted, high Ted,

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Speaker 2: and then looking at me. Yeah, And it was just

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Speaker 2: building up and building up. And I just you know,

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Speaker 2: I've been looking at it and just I see it

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Speaker 2: all the time, just in general, just observing society, and

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Speaker 2: this just I said, no, no, no, no. Teddy said, but

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Speaker 2: you were so loud, I said her disrespect was loud. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I was. And I wasn't trying to turn out

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Speaker 2: and be disrespectful back to her at all. I was

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Speaker 2: actually I felt as if I was defending every person.

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Speaker 2: I was like, you don't do that. But especially in hospitality,

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Speaker 2: that is why it's your You're if you're in hospitality,

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Speaker 2: your job is to be hospitable. Right there, Hi, everyone, Hi, welcome,

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Speaker 2: How are you? Thank you for coming? Something? But I

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Speaker 2: think it's generational. I mean, we all know, it's it's

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Speaker 2: it's coming back. Though. I think there is a turn.

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Speaker 2: I feel there's a there's a turn in this ti

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Speaker 2: tidal wave of everyone just being however they want to be,

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Speaker 2: and forgetting manners and forgetting to be courteous. And I

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Speaker 2: think that's really what we all mean by, you know,

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Speaker 2: kindness passing on. This is not kindness, really is respect

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Speaker 2: that I think the highest form of love is respect,

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Speaker 2: the one thing that everyone you could still say no

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Speaker 2: respectfully that you know, it's just but respect, basic respect. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's it's not that hard.

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Speaker 1: I love that you say that we're perhaps coming back

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Speaker 1: around to what maybe once was and just maybe because

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Speaker 1: I'm like some people argue we never had it, But

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Speaker 1: I like the notion that I feel like there was

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Speaker 1: a different time, you know, where community was valued also

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Speaker 1: way more.

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Speaker 2: I think we did take a heart.

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Speaker 1: The pendulum swung so hard in the direction of individuality

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Speaker 1: and like crazy boundaries and disrespect of one another. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it would be nice to see respect and kindness

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Speaker 1: circle back.

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Speaker 2: Just yeah, decility. You can disagree, you can have a

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Speaker 2: different opinion, but I don't need to call you names

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Speaker 2: or make funny You don't need to do all that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: no need, there's no need. Yeah, And societies don't do

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Speaker 2: well when you're not considerate or courteous or looking out

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Speaker 2: for each other. They just don't think I am. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they can't, they can't survive. So I do think that

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Speaker 2: it's it's coming back to you know, please thank you.

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Speaker 1: Can you imagine I've told this, I've said this on

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Speaker 1: the podcast before, but I've been told I say thank

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Speaker 1: you too much.

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Speaker 2: I've been told that all the time. That's crazy, it's insane,

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Speaker 2: mind boggling. I know.

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Speaker 1: I go what explained to me saying thank you too much,

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Speaker 1: having too much gratitude, being polite, not expecting people to

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Speaker 1: do anything for you, not from a cynical place, but

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Speaker 1: expressing thanks and appreciate moment to moment for someone doing

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Speaker 1: something kind for you.

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Speaker 2: Always, and it never fails. Even just the other day

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Speaker 2: where you know, I'm eating lunch with a friend and

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Speaker 2: she said, it's so funny. Even when the waiter comes by,

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Speaker 2: you stop mid sentence and say thank you. I said,

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Speaker 2: it's not difficult. It's just I'm talking to you, we're

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Speaker 2: doing something, and then thank you very much and go back. Difficult,

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Speaker 2: It's easy. It's easy. But it's it's also just training.

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Speaker 2: I think it was all the time I was say please,

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Speaker 2: say thank you, say please say thank you. Were it's

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Speaker 2: just ingrained in me, that's what you do. But I

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Speaker 2: think it changes everything because it's acknowledgment. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And your mom sounds like she instilled incredible values

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Speaker 1: in you and like she had them herself.

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Speaker 2: Where was she from? Where did she grow up? So

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Speaker 2: my mother was born and raised in Jamaica, Queens, Okay,

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Speaker 2: and she, you know, in those days me she was

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Speaker 2: born in nineteen forty and she was a young scientists,

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Speaker 2: young model, debutante and she really but you know in

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Speaker 2: those days that you know, the debutante schools and everything.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it was really about, you know, the precision

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Speaker 2: of not just modeling and walking down the runway, but

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Speaker 2: it was how do you present yourself in society? How

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Speaker 2: do you present yourself wherever you are? How do you

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Speaker 2: look at yourself not even just physically, but how do

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Speaker 2: you want to show up in the world. And they

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Speaker 2: were almost talking about energy way before we were all

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Speaker 2: talking about energy, but because the energy of what do

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Speaker 2: you want to bring into the space that you're coming

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Speaker 2: into so that you're interesting with people, you know, what

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Speaker 2: stands out about you, and and she was very I

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Speaker 2: mean I looked through her high school yearbooks, which was

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Speaker 2: the best thing that I could have ever received after

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Speaker 2: she passed away, out of all the things, her daily planner,

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Speaker 2: her high school yearbooks, Like I said, I look through

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Speaker 2: and it was, you know, done most for it. She

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Speaker 2: went to John Adams High School. Done most for Adams, Jaqueline, right,

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Speaker 2: of course, done most. We don't even have that, we

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Speaker 2: don't even have that. It's like, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: done most service like that. It's so great because that

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Speaker 2: is who she was through and through all of her life.

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Speaker 2: And I love that about her. And so all of

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Speaker 2: it was never you know, once she moved to Los Angeles,

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Speaker 2: she didn't have a lot of friends. I mean, she

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Speaker 2: meets my dad and she's twenty six, and then she

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Speaker 2: moves to LA at twenty eight, and you know, she's

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Speaker 2: thrown into the entertainment industry and the music industry. And

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Speaker 2: she rolled. I mean, she she was you know, you

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Speaker 2: can call me. She was a phlebotomist. So she would

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Speaker 2: always say she took people's blood at the hospital. But

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Speaker 2: she she came right out of that yeah, and moved

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Speaker 2: to Los Angeles and she reinvented herself all the time. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and she but she loved her life, which is which

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Speaker 2: is why I wanted to dedicate think you'll be happy

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Speaker 2: to her, because because those were her last words to me,

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Speaker 2: think you'll be happy. And it was so typical of

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Speaker 2: her because she really she wasn't in denial that you know,

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Speaker 2: life can be tricky and life is hard, and life

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Speaker 2: could be unfair, but for her, more than that, life

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Speaker 2: is beautiful. Life is a privilege and life is a gift.

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Speaker 2: And she would always say, you know, gratitude. You know.

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Speaker 2: Every time I'd say I don't know, how do you

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Speaker 2: stay happy, she said, well, you just decide to be happy.

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Speaker 2: And it doesn't that doesn't mean you're going to be

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Speaker 2: happy every single second of your life. But if you

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Speaker 2: decide to be a happy soul, and being a happy

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Speaker 2: soul is being a grateful soul, you really get to

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Speaker 2: happiness through I think the quickest way to get there

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Speaker 2: is be really grateful and appreciate the people in your

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Speaker 2: life and and appreciate all of all of life. I mean,

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Speaker 2: now it's in hindsight, it's always in hindsight, but you know,

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Speaker 2: the things that that you think are going to break

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Speaker 2: you actually end up shaping you and forming you into

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Speaker 2: a different person, a better version of yourself, or reminding me,

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Speaker 2: excuse my language, and who the fuck you are? You know,

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Speaker 2: but you have to have you have to I can't,

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Speaker 2: but you have to have that resistance. The only thing

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Speaker 2: that makes you stronger is resistant. You have to be pushed,

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Speaker 2: so someone does have to be you know, you have

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Speaker 2: to deal with people who are rude, who are disrespectful,

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Speaker 2: who are whatever, but they are part of your story

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Speaker 2: to help you get to You have to have so

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Speaker 2: many no's, and you have to have nos. Nobody wants

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Speaker 2: to know as how are you going to go through

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Speaker 2: life and be great without having a no? And especially

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Speaker 2: coming from you know. So my mom really helped shape

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Speaker 2: my father, Clarence Amon As you know, he's known as

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Speaker 2: this big, great entrepreneur and he was and he and

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Speaker 2: and yes he's the Black god Father and all these

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Speaker 2: things that you could put any name on him. But

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Speaker 2: without my mother supporting him and without her standing by

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Speaker 2: his side, I don't think he would have been able

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Speaker 2: to have accomplished everything that he did because he really

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Speaker 2: had someone who was energetically very different than him. She

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Speaker 2: was very a polished, she was very gruff. You know.

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Speaker 2: He's from the South and born in nineteen thirty one

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Speaker 2: and the worst times under Jim Crow and the Klan

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Speaker 2: was running rampant at that time, and he knew how

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Speaker 2: to hide from the clan. I mean, they had a

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Speaker 2: whole thing, I mean Green Book. When that movie came out,

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Speaker 2: he was like, no, that was real. We had the

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Speaker 2: Green Book. You know, we knew where to stay, where

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Speaker 2: we could stay. We knew where our aunties or uncles

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Speaker 2: could stay if they traveled throughout the South. And so

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Speaker 2: for him, it was very different from New York City.

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Speaker 2: He always says that when by the time he got

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Speaker 2: to New York City in his late teens, he said,

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Speaker 2: it was as seeing life and technicolor. He said, all

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Speaker 2: of a sudden, it was color. And he said, and

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Speaker 2: I wasn't turning around looking over my shoulder every second.

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Speaker 2: It was a different life. And so they had They

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Speaker 2: were nine years apart, and they had very different upbringings,

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Speaker 2: but the same value system. That'll do it, and that'll

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Speaker 2: do it. And I'm very proud of what they accomplished together.

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Speaker 2: I mean, they really did excuse me great things and

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Speaker 2: change people's lives for the better, which is the way

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Speaker 2: that my mom always said. You know, every room she

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Speaker 2: walked in, she'd always say, well, I hope I left

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Speaker 2: it a little better than what it was, or I

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Speaker 2: hope I even if it was great when it walked in,

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Speaker 2: I hope that I sprinkled just a little bit of

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Speaker 2: light on it. That she really lived like that. And

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Speaker 2: I didn't really understand it when I was younger, and

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Speaker 2: now I get it, and I appreciate it, and I'm

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Speaker 2: extremely grateful.

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Speaker 1: It sounds absolutely remarkable, and your family is remarkable and

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Speaker 1: has done so much. And the fact that you recognize

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Speaker 1: the value in the upbringing you were afforded just having

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Speaker 1: those type of parents that you had, who were so

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Speaker 1: devoted and intentional in that way is also beautiful.

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Speaker 2: Yes and devoted word yeah, yes, And when my mom

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Speaker 2: really was devoted.

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Speaker 1: That's what it sounds that there's a level of intentionality

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Speaker 1: you have to operate with to go. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be a happy soul despite whatever I'm experiencing, whatever I'm

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Speaker 1: seeing in the world around me, because I know that

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Speaker 1: I still have choice in this.

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Speaker 2: So much is not up to me. But I have choice.

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Speaker 2: You always have a choice, and the choice that my

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Speaker 2: mom always reminded me. She said, your attitude is everything,

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Speaker 2: and that is your choice. So no matter what happens

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Speaker 2: to you, you have to decide through your through your decisions.

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Speaker 2: How am I going to respond to this? You know?

399
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Speaker 2: Should always say you know responsibility? How how that means?

400
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,639
Speaker 2: You know? What is my what is my ability to

401
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 2: respond to this? How am I going to respond to

402
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,919
Speaker 2: this situation? What am I going to learn from it?

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Speaker 2: She would always and I didn't like when she said it,

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00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:04,359
Speaker 2: but she she'd always say, after everything settles, what is

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Speaker 2: the lesson? There has to be some lesson And even

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00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,320
Speaker 2: if you did ninety eight percent of everything right, find

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Speaker 2: the two percent where you could pivot, where you could

408
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Speaker 2: learn from. Let's say you didn't do anything wrong then,

409
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Speaker 2: but you have to know that then this door is closing.

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00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,480
Speaker 2: This was unfair. But you're going to make a decision

411
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Speaker 2: to not quit. You're going to make a decision to

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Speaker 2: move forward. You're going to make a decision to remind

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Speaker 2: yourself of your value and start again. But then she'd

414
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Speaker 2: always say, but always look for Also, don't act as

415
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Speaker 2: if you didn't do anything wrong, or you couldn't have

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00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 2: been any better because then you won't grow, you know.

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Speaker 2: And I think she was very afraid I should say

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Speaker 2: fearful of me or at my brother Alex being entitled.

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Speaker 2: She'd always say, Oh, entitlement kills the soul, It kills

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Speaker 2: anything because they don't want to be responsible for anything

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Speaker 2: because they're entitled. So I should have this, and why not?

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Speaker 2: Why do you have this podcast? Why don't I have

423
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,120
Speaker 2: this podcast? Just that all of a sudden, it creates

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00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:11,240
Speaker 2: such such a friction of energy, and so many people

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Speaker 2: I know, so many people who've not grown, who've not

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00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,760
Speaker 2: moved forward, and they're so smart and so capable, but

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00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 2: their attitude of life owes me. Someone owes me. I'm

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Speaker 2: entitled to This ruins everything for them.

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Speaker 1: That is so insightful, and I think it's so true

430
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,440
Speaker 1: and whise. I'm just thinking, I go anytime you are

431
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 1: looking at what someone else has and you're like, I

432
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 1: want that, Why don't I have that? I should have that.

433
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 1: It's not fair that they do. What makes them so great?

434
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 1: It's like, what a waste of energy? Well, and it's

435
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 1: it's such a it's such a wation all that energy.

436
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,119
Speaker 1: You could be putting into something else more productive and

437
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:57,360
Speaker 1: figuring out creating you do have you really do have

438
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 1: the power. And there's been times I've felt power and

439
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 1: then you go, I tap back into my agency and

440
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,360
Speaker 1: I go, oh, I feel better now because.

441
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 2: I remember I have choice. But we all do. Yeah,

442
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,719
Speaker 2: And that's the thing I think we all forget that,

443
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 2: we all miss the mark, we all fall off the path,

444
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 2: we all get into the doubting ourselves and questioning ourselves.

445
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 2: But to come back to understanding and remembering that because

446
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,560
Speaker 2: we are human beings, then we have a gift, because

447
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:28,120
Speaker 2: we're the only creatures that have the gift of imagination,

448
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 2: and we have the gift of choice. And when you

449
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 2: have imagination and choice and you use them in a

450
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:38,640
Speaker 2: constructive way, it changes your life. I mean, you see

451
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,360
Speaker 2: it all the time. You see I mean, how did

452
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:44,360
Speaker 2: everybody around the world. I don't care what country you're

453
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 2: talking about, worn torn countries in Eastern Europe, you could

454
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 2: talk about countries in Africa, Europe, South America, wherever where

455
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 2: just complete decimation has happened and they have made a decision.

456
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 2: I've got two bucks in my pocket. I'm going to

457
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 2: get to America. I've got this. I've lost my children,

458
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,159
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do that. I mean, there's women right now

459
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 2: who are literally walking twelve miles to go get shady,

460
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:13,920
Speaker 2: dirty water for their children. But they're determined and they're

461
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 2: making a choice and they're doing it. And so the

462
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 2: idea that you know and you see these people and

463
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 2: you read these stories and you you think of all

464
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,520
Speaker 2: the jubilees that came out of slavery, and all these

465
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,439
Speaker 2: beautiful songs and all of these these traditions out of

466
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:34,280
Speaker 2: worst case scenarios. But that was all decision, and that

467
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,640
Speaker 2: was all choice. Yeah, and we get and we get

468
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 2: to be here now and live a much easier life.

469
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 2: And I think everyone's still focused on but it's not this.

470
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 2: It's not that Niger. No, No, you have to look

471
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:49,119
Speaker 2: at really what is. And I always say I always

472
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:53,159
Speaker 2: say to Ted, I said, you know, we cannot waste

473
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 2: the sacrifices of other people. And I'm talking other people

474
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 2: meaning my family members. I'm not wasting the sacrifice is

475
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 2: that my grandparents made, or my great grandparents or my

476
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 2: great great great grandparents. There were major sacrifices, but the

477
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 2: beauty is they didn't hurt, they didn't hurt themselves or

478
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 2: they didn't. You know, they didn't leave life early so

479
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 2: I could be here. They did so much for me

480
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 2: to have an easier life, and so I want to

481
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,679
Speaker 2: make the best out of what I've been given. I

482
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 2: don't take it lightly at all, and I don't take

483
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,879
Speaker 2: it for granted at all, and I think that that

484
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 2: can be that's a very dangerous slope, I think, which

485
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,360
Speaker 2: a lot of people are coming out of now, which

486
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,959
Speaker 2: is which is why gratitude is important to be. But

487
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 2: really look at who came before you and what they

488
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 2: had to go through and what was really unfair and unjust,

489
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,400
Speaker 2: and then they move things for you, and now you're

490
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 2: here and you could do something with that.

491
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 1: We get it's so easy to not be in gratitude

492
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 1: because the things for which we should be grateful before

493
00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,719
Speaker 1: we get really accustomed to yes, and you go, this

494
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,400
Speaker 1: is my life now. Like I remember wanting a job

495
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 1: so badly as an actor, trying, you know, auditioning NonStop

496
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 1: all through LA and then you get the job and

497
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 1: it's so exciting, and then it's like, once it becomes

498
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 1: your job, you're like, oh, but it could be better

499
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 1: in this way. Yes, it's like but you know, years

500
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 1: ago it was like, I just want a job.

501
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 2: I want to be able to pay my bills.

502
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:22,119
Speaker 1: And the way that that the bar keeps moving is

503
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 1: a testament to the fact that you've done something, you've

504
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 1: accomplished something, and you are experiencing something you should be

505
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 1: grateful for. The bar is only moving because you have

506
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:31,639
Speaker 1: had an experience.

507
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 2: I think you said something really important. The bar is

508
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 2: always going to move, and that is what we all forget.

509
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 2: And I love that the bar always moves and there's

510
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 2: always a new goal always. I mean, yes, you could

511
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 2: be content, but it doesn't mean that your brain just

512
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 2: doesn't stop. So of course you want to change things

513
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 2: or you know, upgrade things or not, but it doesn't

514
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 2: mean you can't be content to your point, but the

515
00:26:56,520 --> 00:27:01,679
Speaker 2: bar still moves. It's so once you one thing and

516
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 2: then it's well, what's next and what am I doing?

517
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 2: And and why isn't this better than what I thought

518
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:08,879
Speaker 2: it was going to be.

519
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 1: But you're saying like the antidote is gratitude, which I

520
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: heard said before and it sounds so rudimentary, but I

521
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 1: can attest to any time I have made the choice

522
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,679
Speaker 1: to be like, wait a minute, this is amazing. I

523
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 1: get to sit here with you, and I get to

524
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 1: I get to talk to you and hear about your

525
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 1: experience and hear about your incredible parents and the way

526
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 1: you see the world. I'm like, whoa pinch me. Life

527
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 1: is good.

528
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 2: Life is like this moment is making me feel like

529
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 2: life is great. Thank you. No, but I appreciate that.

530
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 2: And I and I feel the same about you as

531
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 2: I told you earlier. And but it, you know, when

532
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 2: I write down what I'm grateful for changes in two seconds.

533
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 2: You know. I think the beauty was my mom. One

534
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 2: of the best habits she gave me was when I,

535
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 2: you know, before I went to bed. She'd always have

536
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 2: me say my prayers, and it was the now I

537
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 2: lead me down to sleep and I praise the world.

538
00:27:58,119 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 1: So it's a key.

539
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 2: Before I awake, I pray to the Lord my soul

540
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 2: to take yes. Grim last it's got scary. It's so funny.

541
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 2: And now they don't say that. I go oh, because

542
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 2: ours was scary. We got the scary version. If my God,

543
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,159
Speaker 2: if I should die, before I wake, I pray the

544
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 2: Lord my soul to take way. I'm fine, I'm fine,

545
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,719
Speaker 2: I'm really hoping. I wait it was, and then my

546
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 2: mom would say after I say that, she said, okay,

547
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 2: now say thank you God for my house, thank you

548
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,640
Speaker 2: that I have a bed, thank you that I had

549
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 2: dinner tonight, thank you for my friends at school, thank

550
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 2: you for my teacher. So it became a way of

551
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 2: life for me to always just say thank you. And

552
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 2: in the morning, my mom, you know, would drive as

553
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 2: crazy because she sounded like Julie Andrews all the time.

554
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 2: It's like, isn't it such a privilege? I was like, oh, mom, mom,

555
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 2: everything was. It's such a privilege. Wonderful.

556
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: I get that even in the reaction you're having to

557
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: it now feels very human. I feel like we can

558
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 1: all relate to those or someone's like, do I want

559
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 1: to do a positivity challenge? And I've been like, absolutely not.

560
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: I don't want to do a positivity because also that

561
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 1: feels disingenuous to me. I'm like, I also want to

562
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 1: be able to feel my feelings.

563
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 2: Thank you very much.

564
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 1: Your reaction to them like, isn't it such a privilege?

565
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 1: Every effing day? Yeah, Pi, can you paint a picture

566
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 1: for me? At what point? And you mentioned it earlier,

567
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 1: we were like, I didn't necessarily value the lessons my

568
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 1: mother was teaching me at the time about how to

569
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 1: approach life and how to appreciate everything around me the

570
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 1: way I do. Now, what did the time when you

571
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 1: didn't appreciate it look like for you?

572
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 2: Like paint? You grew up here in La so we

573
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 2: had so my dad was, you know, very big in

574
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 2: the record business, and so we had a lot of

575
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 2: so for example, his first major big breakout artist was

576
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 2: Bill Withers, and you know, Bill was you know, so

577
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 2: they always had people the house, and they had musicians

578
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 2: and you know Lalo Schiffrin who was the composer for

579
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 2: many things, but his most famous is Mission Impossible. And

580
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 2: they all remained friends up until all of them passed away.

581
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 2: But what I didn't appreciate was my mom loved having

582
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 2: all of these people at the house all of the time.

583
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 2: But she was looking at it as this is a

584
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 2: landing pad for everyone to come and be creative and

585
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 2: feel safe and have fun and really talk about the

586
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 2: deals and the angst and this and that, the ups

587
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 2: and downs of the record industry or the entertainment industry

588
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 2: in general. But then also being like a close knit

589
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 2: group because there were a lot of people that, you know,

590
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 2: especially for the African Americans in Los Angeles and Beverly

591
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 2: Hills at that time. You know, there was a I

592
00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 2: don't know twelve fifteen families, but we all knew each other.

593
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 2: But what I didn't appreciate was the sense of community

594
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 2: that my mom was creating and the value of friendship

595
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 2: and really being there for the ups and downs and that. Yes,

596
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 2: a lot of these people were famous, but they weren't

597
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:18,960
Speaker 2: wearing their fame as a badge. They were using their

598
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 2: fame to open up doors for other people. So it

599
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 2: was early seventies, so in the record business, in the

600
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 2: film business, in TV and everything, there really weren't a

601
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 2: lot of black directors or producers working on shows. So

602
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 2: they always wanted to make connections. And I didn't like

603
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 2: that I had to share my parents. I didn't appreciate

604
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 2: what they were doing. So I'm always looking at her like, what, mom,

605
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 2: you know, can we just have one night of this

606
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 2: or can we just have you know whatever? And for example,

607
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 2: you know, she loved sending. She loved putting me in

608
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:57,240
Speaker 2: uncomfortable situations so that I would become resilient. Okay, So yeah,

609
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 2: so it's very you know, she's like, you know, you're

610
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 2: going to go to camp. But I'm like, I'm in camp.

611
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 2: I love camp. But I went to day camp. Then

612
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 2: she moved me to sleep away camp. Yeah. I was like,

613
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 2: I don't, well, I don't want to go there. I

614
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 2: don't want us two weeks away. I don't want to

615
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 2: live in a cabin. Yeah. And I don't want to

616
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 2: live in a cabin in one room with girls that

617
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 2: I don't know. And I don't want this and I

618
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 2: want my own this. And she's like, this is exactly

619
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 2: why you're going, because you need to be uncomfortable. But

620
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,480
Speaker 2: more importantly, you need to meet people. And you need

621
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 2: to appreciate the fact that you can. I could even

622
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 2: pay for you to do this. You need to appreciate

623
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 2: that not everybody has this experience I'm and I need

624
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 2: you to appreciate that the experiences that I'm able to

625
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 2: give you I never had and I want to give

626
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 2: you as much as I can. So, I mean she

627
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 2: had me traveling at a young age. I mean in

628
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 2: high school, I was, you know, traveling with you know,

629
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 2: my teachers, my French teacher. We went to France and

630
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,239
Speaker 2: we did this. But she sent me to Russia in

631
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 2: nineteen eighty five and my mom it was the USSR.

632
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 2: You know, I what could have had, what could have gone?

633
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 2: And prayer I died.

634
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 1: She was setting the stage, she was happening.

635
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 2: I was covering. But she she she always and I

636
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 2: look back and I'm thinking, right, I get it now,

637
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 2: I get it. I I just you know, she was everything. Really,

638
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 2: she really looked at the lens of and she'd always say,

639
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 2: whatever lens you put on, whatever glasses you want to

640
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 2: put on, is exactly the way you're going to see life.

641
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 2: And the only way life is going to change is

642
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 2: when you put a different lens on, you know. She'd

643
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 2: always saying, when you change, the world will change around you.

644
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 2: You're looking at it the other way and you want

645
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 2: everything to change and then you'll be better. It doesn't

646
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 2: work that way. And so I think I love that

647
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 2: she had me go out of my comfort zone all

648
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 2: the time, and whether it was a work situation or

649
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 2: different schools or sending me away because I wasn't comfortable

650
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:02,479
Speaker 2: and I was always afraid. And I love being at

651
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 2: home with the comforts of home.

652
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 1: I always say that I love my comforts, and I'm

653
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 1: not proud about it.

654
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 2: Totally.

655
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 1: But I'm like, I love my comforts. Ooh, but it's

656
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,439
Speaker 1: not good because I could stand to be a little

657
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 1: uncomfortable from time to time.

658
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,839
Speaker 2: You know, yes, and but the good news is that

659
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,439
Speaker 2: it was but it helped me. You know, my dad

660
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 2: always to say this comment. It was so funny. You

661
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 2: always just say, it'll put hair on your chest. You know.

662
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 2: I was like, Daddy, I'm a girl. I don't want

663
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:32,320
Speaker 2: hair on my chest. Goodness, everything he would say, everything

664
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 2: he would say to me, everything I did want to do,

665
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 2: It is like, it's good for you. It's kind of

666
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 2: put hair on your chest. So I'm like, God, dude, Jesus,

667
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,319
Speaker 2: but I But again, I by the time I was

668
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 2: twenty five and thirty and then I was able to

669
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:51,919
Speaker 2: walk into situations or handle situations. I thought, oh right,

670
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,799
Speaker 2: yeah right, thank you for setting this up and thank you.

671
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:57,879
Speaker 2: And then you know, even if I went into job

672
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 2: interviews and I didn't get them or or I thought

673
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 2: I should get them, the beauty is is that, you know,

674
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,800
Speaker 2: I was sometimes able to say, even in my anger,

675
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 2: at least I had the opportunity to come and try.

676
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 2: At least I had the opportunity to come and do this,

677
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:14,800
Speaker 2: you know, so it's it wasn't such a Pollyanna. I

678
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 2: think Paullyanna gets a bad rap because the real truth

679
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 2: about Pollyanna is that she didn't say everything's perfect at

680
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:25,439
Speaker 2: every time. It was in the worst of times, find

681
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 2: something to be glad about. Yeah, that's the story of Paullyanna.

682
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:32,799
Speaker 2: And so my mom kind of pushed that narrative on me.

683
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:37,400
Speaker 2: Of listen, life is life is like this. It's a

684
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,839
Speaker 2: blip and you know, at the end of the day,

685
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 2: you want to be happy with yourself. You want to

686
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,759
Speaker 2: be able to look in the mirror and smile, and

687
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 2: you know, you really want to be your intention should

688
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:52,360
Speaker 2: be I really want to be a good soul. Yeah, yeah,

689
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 2: and that's really all you could do. Right. Doesn't mean

690
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 2: a perfect soul, but it means a good soul good.

691
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,840
Speaker 1: There's a difference. There is absolutely different. It's also Perfectionism

692
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 1: is a fallacy. Nothing, there is no no.

693
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 2: Excellence is something to strive for sure, because if you

694
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 2: don't get excellence, then you get great. And if you

695
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,359
Speaker 2: don't get great, at least you get good. You don't

696
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 2: get good, at least you get okay. Yeah, you don't

697
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 2: get okay, you might suck. Yeah, you got something else,

698
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:21,760
Speaker 2: you try less choices, endless choices, endless choices.

699
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 1: That is so beautiful that they were so intentionalble and

700
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 1: instilling that in you, and that you know the notion

701
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: that I want to make you uncomfortable because it's going

702
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 1: to teach you how resilient you are. There are things

703
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 1: I'm not referring to my comforts, like my home, my bed,

704
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,440
Speaker 1: but there are things I have done in life. I

705
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 1: just I was on stage at a show just a

706
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:42,320
Speaker 1: couple of nights ago, and I was telling these college students,

707
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:46,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, I love making myself uncomfortable. I really because

708
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 1: and I was I was trying to articulate it not

709
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 1: as beautifully as you just did. And where were you

710
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 1: when I was doing this show, because you could have

711
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 1: said this better for me? But I was trying to

712
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,359
Speaker 1: tell them, I'm like, once you when you are when

713
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 1: you choose to make yourself uncomfortable, and when you don't

714
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 1: excel at the thing, or you're not good at the thing,

715
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,400
Speaker 1: or you kind of maybe air quote embarrass yourself, you

716
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:05,879
Speaker 1: realize like, oh my god, I didn't die.

717
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:07,439
Speaker 2: I didn't die. I didn't die.

718
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 1: I can do that I've done that, I felt that

719
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 1: the feeling is fleeting, and now I can go try

720
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 1: something else that makes me uncomfortable, and you just reckon.

721
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,799
Speaker 1: You learn how resilient you are.

722
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 2: You can't build character without it, you just can't. You

723
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 2: have to lose. You know you're gonna win some, you're

724
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:29,279
Speaker 2: gonna lose some. But my dad would always say that

725
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,840
Speaker 2: the only regrets you're gonna really have is if you

726
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 2: don't try it. Always say, take a shot, take a chance.

727
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 2: So what it may not work, you know, go play

728
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:40,279
Speaker 2: the best game. Ian. I was a tomboy growing up,

729
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 2: so I was always in sports, and you know, when

730
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 2: I would lose, I would take it very personally and

731
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 2: I would just be down in the dumps for days.

732
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 2: Somebody doesn't it's a game you play. If you played

733
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 2: your best and you lost, that's all you can do.

734
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 2: If you didn't play your best, and you'd always bet

735
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:58,120
Speaker 2: you won't do that again, you know, I bet you

736
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 2: won't not train the night before. You know. I'd get

737
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 2: that way because I'd win five games and I'd get

738
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,960
Speaker 2: air again, and then I wouldn't train the night before.

739
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 2: I'm like, I got this, I didn't right, No, no, no,

740
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 2: I didn't, and but I do really appreciate them really

741
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,960
Speaker 2: putting me in situations where I wanted to leave. I

742
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:19,799
Speaker 2: want Quitting was not never an option, and again didn't

743
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 2: appreciate that till I was older, but it was. It's

744
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,919
Speaker 2: something that I don't really do. I don't I move

745
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 2: away from things that don't you know that that just

746
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 2: either have run their course really don't fit. But quitting

747
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 2: on people that I don't do. I mean, people know

748
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:38,319
Speaker 2: they can depend on me. I'm going to show up,

749
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 2: I'm going to respond. I'm going to do what I'm

750
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 2: supposed to do. I said, if you quit everything on

751
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:45,919
Speaker 2: you're hard, or if I take away everything from you

752
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,880
Speaker 2: as a child because it's difficult, then what are you

753
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 2: going to do when you're twenty four and I throw

754
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 2: you out into the world. You're not going to even

755
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 2: know how to respond to the world. You're not to

756
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 2: know how to move into the world. You're not going

757
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:00,360
Speaker 2: to do anything. So when I they move me to

758
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:02,760
Speaker 2: New York when I was twenty four, and it was great,

759
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 2: and I thought, of course I was going to live

760
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 2: in the comforts of their apartment and their lifestyle. My

761
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 2: mother was like no, I was like Oh, I'm just

762
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 2: gonna get in your car and the drivers are gonna

763
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 2: just drop me off at my mom's. Like, no, the

764
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 2: subway's over there, and you go get on that subway

765
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,320
Speaker 2: and you go over here, or you walk. And it

766
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:23,880
Speaker 2: was great. But it was really great. And the apartment

767
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 2: that I wanted I couldn't afford the apartment. And the

768
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 2: one thing my best friend Susanna and I go back to.

769
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 2: We lived in a room, a room with and it

770
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 2: just had a little microwave, a little stovetop, the Murphy

771
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:39,799
Speaker 2: bed and we had two chairs. That was it. That

772
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,239
Speaker 2: was it. We shared the Murvy and it was but

773
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 2: it was living in New York in the nineties and

774
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 2: we were hustling, we were moving. It was and my

775
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 2: dad was right, it goes to New York. If you

776
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 2: could do it in your twenties, it's important because it'll

777
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 2: make you grow up pretty fast because there's not a

778
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,959
Speaker 2: lot of lazy people here. Yeah, it's just od. They're

779
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 2: just moving. New York is in there. They're going uh huh. Yes,

780
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 2: it's true. It's great.

781
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 1: I was coming back and forth between LA and New

782
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,880
Speaker 1: York when I got on SNL, so we'd have a

783
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 1: break every three weeks. And I'd lived in LA for

784
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 1: twelve years before I was on SNL, so we'd get

785
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 1: a break two weeks here, two weeks there, and every

786
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 1: single break, I'd come back to LA because this is

787
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,400
Speaker 1: what I'd known, this is where I became a woman,

788
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:27,279
Speaker 1: and so I was like, this is my comfort. Had

789
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 1: my apartment in New York. And I remember before a birthday,

790
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 1: so my birthday is in March. So March twenty twenty,

791
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 1: I had to cancel my birthday plans. I was potentially

792
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 1: going to do something in LA with my community here.

793
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll do it in New York. I

794
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 1: do know enough people. We have this beautiful dinner. I'm

795
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 1: walking home from dinner, I see the New Yorker sign

796
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 1: in red and this is like March.

797
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 2: I'll call it like eighth.

798
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 1: Twenty twenty, and I was like, you know what, I

799
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:55,719
Speaker 1: am a New Yorker. And then and then they're like lockdown,

800
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 1: and I'm like, get me the fuck out of it.

801
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 2: I'm like I need to get I pack it back.

802
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gonna go stay on somebody's couch in LA.

803
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:06,879
Speaker 1: But then I like, much like you describing your youth

804
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 1: love my personal space. I like, don't want to be

805
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,720
Speaker 1: in someone else's personal space for an undefined amount of time.

806
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,719
Speaker 1: The part of me that loves her control, So I

807
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 1: was like, oh no, I can't go stay on someone's

808
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,120
Speaker 1: couch because we don't know how long this is gonna last,

809
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,239
Speaker 1: and then I'll be in their space and I kind

810
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 1: of like to be alone, but how alone?

811
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 2: Right?

812
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 1: So I did COVID the worst of it, the height

813
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 1: of it in my studio apartment in Midtown Manhattan, hearing

814
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:32,279
Speaker 1: the sirens and I was not a New Yorker. I

815
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:33,879
Speaker 1: just had that cute little moment, and then I got

816
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:37,440
Speaker 1: way too real, way too fast, like days later, and

817
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 1: I made the choice to stay ultimately because I'm like,

818
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 1: this is your apartment, this is the place you may rent.

819
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 2: You do have a space.

820
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I stayed, and New York has its way

821
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 1: of just like growing you the f up fast. I remember,

822
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 1: I packed it back to come to LA and then

823
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't stay at someone's house like

824
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:57,919
Speaker 1: for an undefined period of time, and they were willing

825
00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,760
Speaker 1: to let me be on a couch whatever. But before

826
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 1: I got on a plane, which was really scary for us,

827
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: so like really go back to twenty twenty, which I

828
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 1: think is hard for some people, not all of us,

829
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 1: to remember just how spooky that was. So I didn't

830
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 1: want to get on a plane, and I thought, I

831
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:14,479
Speaker 1: just I feel too scared to go on a plane.

832
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 1: I don't have a mask, I don't have anything I

833
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 1: need to be on a flight. So I make this

834
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:21,280
Speaker 1: decision to stay. And I cried in the shower because

835
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 1: I was like, I wish I was someone's kid, so

836
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 1: they could decide if I go to California or not,

837
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 1: so like, whichever decision is wrong could be there there.

838
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 1: I just remember, like I remember being like that was

839
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 1: the moment I became a woman. I kid you not

840
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I am my responsibility and wherever I

841
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,920
Speaker 1: decide to go or stay is going to be my choice.

842
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 1: I can't blame mom or dad. They took us on

843
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,360
Speaker 1: a trip to whatever. You need to make a choice

844
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 1: right now. New York will grow you up.

845
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 2: I was just gonna say that wouldn't have happened outside

846
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 2: of New I mean New York. That's just I remember

847
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:55,840
Speaker 2: my dad used to say, you know pretty much what

848
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:57,880
Speaker 2: you just said, Like it's you'll see, New York has

849
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,399
Speaker 2: a way of just growing you the fuck up. When

850
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 2: am I gonna know it's gonna? How do you know

851
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:04,959
Speaker 2: when is it gonna? And my experience was one day

852
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 2: and I was very still, very la and I'm walking

853
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 2: down Madison and somebody bumps into me really hard. But

854
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:15,560
Speaker 2: he bumps into me. Yeah, I say, I go, oh,

855
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:19,120
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, excuse me, and he said, you know, learn

856
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 2: how to fucking walk, and then out of the blue,

857
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 2: and I had never done this ever, I'm like, go

858
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 2: fuck yourself. Yes, And then right when I said and

859
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 2: I went, oh my god, new Yorker. I'm a New Yorker.

860
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, I will go and say please and thank

861
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:36,759
Speaker 2: you and then go tell you to fuck yourself in

862
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 2: two seconds. And it felt so good. I remember calling

863
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 2: my dad. I got it, okay, I'm a New Yorker.

864
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 1: Daddy, I said, go fuck yourself to someone you've got rage.

865
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:49,839
Speaker 2: I love it. I love it. But it was I'm

866
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 2: so sorry.

867
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 1: You're like, what also that one eighty you did right there?

868
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 1: You're like, hold on, yeah, excuse me, no rude.

869
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 2: Yes, I love it. Character building that is New York

870
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 2: is very very very good for that. I will tell you.

871
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 1: Now you seem to have had such a beautiful childhood

872
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 1: in that what was available to you. Also your parents

873
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 1: again being so thoughtful about the values say instilled in you.

874
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,480
Speaker 1: Is there anything from your child that childhood that you

875
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:22,759
Speaker 1: wish you had had or you felt you if you

876
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 1: could do it again, not just your own perspective, but

877
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,560
Speaker 1: in terms of your your rearing, the way you were raised.

878
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 2: No, I know it's not kind of real. I'm not

879
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,919
Speaker 2: gonna lie. I you know, you know what, even it's

880
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 2: so interesting you asked that. Somebody just said the other day,

881
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 2: if you if you're not nostalgic, you didn't. There's something

882
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 2: about it's a good thing to have. Nostalgi is a

883
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 2: good thing to have because that means that wasn't as

884
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 2: bad as you thought. Or if you want to go back.

885
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:50,040
Speaker 2: You know what, I'm always saying, Oh I wish I

886
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:51,839
Speaker 2: could do that. Oh I wish I could go back.

887
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 2: And so I look back and I am no, I

888
00:44:56,120 --> 00:45:00,760
Speaker 2: wouldn't change anything. Very Yeah, I have. Like I said earlier,

889
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:04,279
Speaker 2: I have all of my friends from childhood and we're

890
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:07,520
Speaker 2: still like this. That is is rare, very rare. We

891
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 2: still celebrate birthdays and if we can't celebrate birthdays. We're

892
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 2: on group text all the time and we're all supporting

893
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:16,640
Speaker 2: each other and all different stations of life and it

894
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 2: doesn't matter. And I think there's something about when you

895
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:23,880
Speaker 2: know somebody at six, seven, eight, and ten and twelve,

896
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 2: there's something in your DNA that just is there. And

897
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 2: I remember when my mom, when my mom died and

898
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 2: it was so sudden, it was so tragic, and all

899
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 2: of my friends all, you know, they all rally behind

900
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 2: my dad. And I have a photo where my dad's

901
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 2: sitting in the room and we're receiving everybody at the

902
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,719
Speaker 2: house and all of my friends when you look at

903
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 2: this photo, I said to Tetigo, fourth grade, third grade,

904
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:54,400
Speaker 2: second grade, first grade, And they all stood behind my

905
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 2: dad and had these great stories because you know, my

906
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 2: dad was ninety at the time and he's like, oh,

907
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 2: I kind of remember you. And they would all say,

908
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 2: you took us to the ice skating rink, you took

909
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,400
Speaker 2: us to Flippers, you took us to this restaurant. You

910
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,239
Speaker 2: made sure that we you know, we had curfew and

911
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 2: you were cursing us out and we weren't in the

912
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 2: car and it was so it's so great, And I

913
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,840
Speaker 2: know how fortunate I am to have that. Yeah, and

914
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:19,799
Speaker 2: I and it's really one of the greatest blessings I

915
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 2: have are my real just old school friends that I've

916
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:26,879
Speaker 2: been friends with, you know, for over forty years, fifty years.

917
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:28,320
Speaker 2: It's it's kind of awesome.

918
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is beautiful. And it seems like something that

919
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 1: was important to your parents was that community and creating

920
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:37,719
Speaker 1: space for the people in their community, showing you how

921
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 1: to build community. When we started this conversation, we were

922
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 1: talking about gratitude sort of lacking and hopefully there's a

923
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 1: renaissance of sorts where we get to take a moment

924
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 1: and be grateful for one another. I was just thinking

925
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 1: about this post I saw recently, and I'm going to

926
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:56,360
Speaker 1: bastardize this, but it was that the cost of community

927
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 1: is inconvenience. So I'm thinking about you as a younger

928
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,279
Speaker 1: person being like, there's people in my house, which would

929
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 1: be my vibe a right, right, right. I grew up

930
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:05,440
Speaker 1: with a lot of community too, but I'm like, it

931
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:08,480
Speaker 1: would be like, there's always someone here, but the cost

932
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 1: of community is inconvenience and it is being annoyed from

933
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:13,759
Speaker 1: time to time, and so.

934
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:16,720
Speaker 2: I didn't really want to share my parents, and even

935
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 2: though there's there's a part of me where even in

936
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 2: my twenties, I always thought, oh, you know, I really

937
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 2: wish I could have changed that in my thirties. But

938
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 2: then when I look back, the beauty is I think

939
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:29,759
Speaker 2: for me, is that all of those people did make

940
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 2: a very positive difference in my character and in who

941
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:37,360
Speaker 2: I am today and how I think about the world

942
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 2: today and how I make my decisions today. If my

943
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 2: mom didn't have them, if my parents didn't have all

944
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 2: these people at the house all the time, I don't

945
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:48,400
Speaker 2: really know who i'd be. Yes, I had great parents,

946
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:52,360
Speaker 2: but it was it was that that inner, that outside

947
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,319
Speaker 2: community that was always inside the house that they helped

948
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 2: raise me too, and they had Yes, they had the

949
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 2: same value system, but they had different goals and I

950
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 2: liked that, and I'd like seeing what would make this

951
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 2: person happier, what this person was doing, or this person

952
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:11,160
Speaker 2: was focused on civil rights, or this person was focused

953
00:48:11,239 --> 00:48:14,799
Speaker 2: on you know, people getting into schools or scholarships or

954
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,759
Speaker 2: providing scholarships. I never, you know, I was able to

955
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 2: put together of Oh, so you can be you can

956
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:24,319
Speaker 2: make a really good living and do something and do

957
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:26,880
Speaker 2: really good in the world. At the same time, doesn't

958
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 2: have to be one of the other. It didn't have

959
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 2: to be you know, you're going to be a missionary

960
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:32,400
Speaker 2: and then that's it, and you're not going to be

961
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:34,879
Speaker 2: an entrepreneur, does it? You could do anything you want.

962
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:39,160
Speaker 2: And that's what I That's why I wouldn't change anything,

963
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 2: because they really helped shape who I am. And you know,

964
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 2: my dad had this great I'm writing about it now.

965
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 2: He has this great quote and he would say all

966
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 2: the time, you know it is what it is, Nicole,

967
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:54,400
Speaker 2: and then he'd pause, but what are you going to

968
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:56,279
Speaker 2: do about and what are you going to do about it?

969
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:58,920
Speaker 2: And that was it, and that's the way it was.

970
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 2: And I thought it was so hard harsh when I

971
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:02,880
Speaker 2: was growing up. I said, can you just sit with

972
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 2: me for one second? Can I be angry for one minute?

973
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:08,640
Speaker 2: Can I be disappointed for one minute? Can you adjust me?

974
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 2: He goes, no, no, no, and he explained when and I

975
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 2: got it when I got older, but I'll never I was.

976
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:16,320
Speaker 2: I went to I was on my way to be

977
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:19,279
Speaker 2: to serve in the Bahamas, and it was right when

978
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 2: they my confirmation's ambassador went through, and I was going

979
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,399
Speaker 2: back and forth to DC and something happened in DC

980
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:27,839
Speaker 2: and they were calling me back for something, and I

981
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 2: was so frustrated and so angry, and I was going

982
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 2: into it's so unfair, and I was there blah blah

983
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:36,319
Speaker 2: blah and my dad and I really wanted just I

984
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:39,120
Speaker 2: wanted his shoulder to cry on. And I got back

985
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:42,439
Speaker 2: it is what it is? And I go, Dad, can

986
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 2: you just? And he goes, Nicole, it is what it

987
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:49,279
Speaker 2: is means you have to accept first. You have to

988
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:52,280
Speaker 2: take what happened and sit with it for a minute

989
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 2: and accept it. You can't lie about it to yourself.

990
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 2: You can't pretend this. You have to say, Okay, it

991
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:02,279
Speaker 2: is what it is. Then there's your acceptance. He goes,

992
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 2: and then your power of choice comes in right after.

993
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 2: And what am I going to do about it?

994
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 1: Yeah?

995
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:09,360
Speaker 2: He goes, And then you make a decision. So now

996
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:10,880
Speaker 2: you're going to get back on that plane. You have

997
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 2: to go back to DC. Now what's your attitude going

998
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:15,120
Speaker 2: to be? How are you going to go in? What

999
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 2: are you going to say? And all of a sudden,

1000
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:19,359
Speaker 2: it was very empowering, and that's what he was trying

1001
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,800
Speaker 2: to teach me. I've you gonna have a bunch of

1002
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:24,360
Speaker 2: shit fall. That's what's going to happen in life, and

1003
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:27,200
Speaker 2: him being an entrepreneur is like great things happen and

1004
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 2: terrible things happen, right, is it? But then you have

1005
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:32,279
Speaker 2: to decide how am I going to pick myself up?

1006
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 2: What energy am I going to shift? What am I

1007
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:37,920
Speaker 2: going to do? What's my attitude you're going to be

1008
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 2: and figure it out. But it really did help me.

1009
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:44,719
Speaker 2: And then I noticed, now I'm like that, you know,

1010
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 2: at fifty seven years old, Now everything I look at

1011
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:50,080
Speaker 2: through that lens of Okay, I'm not gonna lie. This

1012
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:53,240
Speaker 2: is what it is. You know, my like, for example,

1013
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 2: one of my worst habits and thank god, I've finally

1014
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 2: got this down. I have scaled this mount and that

1015
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:07,600
Speaker 2: mountain was receiving a red flag intuitively, or witnessing a

1016
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,280
Speaker 2: red flag right in front of me and then wanting

1017
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 2: to paint it white. We've all donelli, I mean, And

1018
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 2: I would always say, like how many times do I

1019
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 2: have to try to go around this mountain? And then

1020
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:21,240
Speaker 2: you realize like, no, you got to scale the mountain,

1021
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 2: So learn the freaking lessons, and it kind of it

1022
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:27,279
Speaker 2: goes So the other day I said, well maybe and

1023
00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 2: then you know, not red flag. Red flag doesn't matter.

1024
00:51:32,719 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 2: I don't care why. I don't care. That's another thing.

1025
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 2: I always used to focus on everyone else's why, and

1026
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 2: then I thought, well, gosh, I was focused on everyone

1027
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 2: else's why, and then it gave me no time for

1028
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:50,880
Speaker 2: myself to then focus on my why. Why do I

1029
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:52,719
Speaker 2: want to do this? What do I want to do?

1030
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:55,200
Speaker 2: What do I want to create? And I would sit

1031
00:51:55,320 --> 00:52:01,840
Speaker 2: and literally analyze other people's why, and the answer is always,

1032
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 2: that's their choice. It doesn't I don't care how they

1033
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 2: grew up. It doesn't matter at this point. I don't care.

1034
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 2: At this point, it's still your why, it's still your

1035
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:12,480
Speaker 2: choice of I know lots of people grew up in

1036
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 2: the same situation, they made a completely different choice. And

1037
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:21,359
Speaker 2: I've helped people who you know, this one girl who

1038
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 2: you know I was. I was her mentor and she

1039
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 2: was so great, and she said, she went to a

1040
00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 2: great school. And at the end, I said, what are

1041
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:30,600
Speaker 2: you going to do with this degree? What are you

1042
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 2: going to do with all of this? You're great? Straight

1043
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,080
Speaker 2: as she goes, oh, I'm going to be back, So

1044
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:36,960
Speaker 2: I'm going to go back and be a social worker.

1045
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:39,279
Speaker 2: I said, what and she said, I'm going to be

1046
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:41,960
Speaker 2: a social worker. And I said, well, okay, Egg, we

1047
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:45,880
Speaker 2: could have gone to a different school. But and I

1048
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:49,320
Speaker 2: was joking, I'm not shitting on it, and she said,

1049
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:54,400
Speaker 2: there's no way I would be who I am without

1050
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:56,440
Speaker 2: any of those people that I was able to rely

1051
00:52:56,600 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 2: upon that aren't fancy, that don't live these fancy lives,

1052
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:06,120
Speaker 2: that are the game changers of so many people's lives.

1053
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:09,359
Speaker 2: And it was such a great reminder of me. It's

1054
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 2: not about she goes, I don't care about the title.

1055
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 2: I don't care about this. I want to go back

1056
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 2: and help children that were in a situation that I

1057
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 2: was in where the lights were off. Mom was, you know, irresponsible.

1058
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 2: I'm learning, I'm finishing my test on the subway. She

1059
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:26,279
Speaker 2: would ride that subway to every borough to finish her

1060
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:30,120
Speaker 2: homework because the lights were on. Yeah, and you know,

1061
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:34,879
Speaker 2: and she just was surrounded by irresponsibility and she made

1062
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:38,759
Speaker 2: a choice and a decision never to be irresponsible, to

1063
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 2: be responsible, not blame anybody. And she's like, Okay, she

1064
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,000
Speaker 2: really took it as what it is. Yeah, and she's like, now,

1065
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:45,440
Speaker 2: what am I going to do about it? I'm not

1066
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:47,760
Speaker 2: going to be those people, and I'm going to help

1067
00:53:48,040 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 2: young people who have been in the same situations as me.

1068
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 2: And I have such respect for her, and she loves

1069
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:58,239
Speaker 2: her life. She loves waking up every day making a

1070
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:05,960
Speaker 2: real difference in being comforting and loving and supportive to

1071
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:08,200
Speaker 2: others that need her, you know.

1072
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:11,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's and so much of what you said resonates,

1073
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:15,440
Speaker 1: and specifically even hearing about how each of you were

1074
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 1: in these situations where it's like every experience I had,

1075
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:21,560
Speaker 1: every relationship I had, made me who I am getting

1076
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:23,840
Speaker 1: to bear witness to the people that your parents surrounded

1077
00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 1: you with.

1078
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:27,279
Speaker 2: It takes a village, It really takes it. It really

1079
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:30,080
Speaker 2: takes a village. And that is.

1080
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 1: Just the way you're describing your life and even her

1081
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:35,080
Speaker 1: life in this woman is like it takes a village.

1082
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:37,719
Speaker 1: All of those experiences shaped her and something I feel

1083
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 1: very passionate about, which is very nerdy in the comedy community.

1084
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:44,239
Speaker 1: I'm very passionate about improv because it made me, I think,

1085
00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:47,120
Speaker 1: a better person, a better listener, better but the tenant

1086
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 1: of it being yes, And I use that in my

1087
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:52,760
Speaker 1: commencement speech at usc which also might have been corny,

1088
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:54,839
Speaker 1: but I was like, life is going to throw things

1089
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:59,839
Speaker 1: at you and.

1090
00:54:57,719 --> 00:55:00,040
Speaker 2: And what are we gonna do? Yes? And all this

1091
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 2: is reality, and I think it doesn't do anyone a

1092
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:07,279
Speaker 2: favor when we say, you know, everything, if you just

1093
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 2: pray for it, and you just say I'm gonna manifest,

1094
00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:12,560
Speaker 2: everything's gonna work out perfectly, it doesn't it. You know.

1095
00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:15,000
Speaker 2: I just said to somebody the other day, somebody I

1096
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:17,919
Speaker 2: was speaking at, you know, a conference, and young girls said,

1097
00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:20,480
Speaker 2: you know, but everything went wrong today, And I said, oh,

1098
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:23,920
Speaker 2: you had a Murphy's Law day. She looked at me

1099
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:26,799
Speaker 2: like I had twenty heads. What I said Murphy's law.

1100
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:29,239
Speaker 2: She didn't know, you know, when everything that could go

1101
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:34,399
Speaker 2: wrong does go wrong. And it was, no, it's not

1102
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:37,080
Speaker 2: supposed to be this way, because I declared it this morning.

1103
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:40,560
Speaker 2: I go, no, that's not life that that. You know.

1104
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:43,919
Speaker 2: Sometimes it works out, but sometimes it doesn't. And it's

1105
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:48,919
Speaker 2: always yes and yeah, but it really is until there's

1106
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,880
Speaker 2: no more just it is. And I think I really

1107
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:53,480
Speaker 2: do see that there is a shifter, or I do

1108
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 2: see a hunger of the new eighteen year old's twenty

1109
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:00,840
Speaker 2: four year olds who do want this. I do want

1110
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:05,680
Speaker 2: to have some type of muscle that can that can

1111
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:09,359
Speaker 2: help them withstand the storms that will come. And I

1112
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:11,799
Speaker 2: think that that we have to really paint a real

1113
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:16,560
Speaker 2: picture for for young people that you know, life is

1114
00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 2: a gift and life is beautiful, but it's also at

1115
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 2: many times hard and unkind and unfair. But it doesn't

1116
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 2: mean it's not worth living, right, you know. I mean

1117
00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:30,960
Speaker 2: we were born to be alive. That that's why we're here.

1118
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:35,279
Speaker 2: So be alive and and live the best that you can.

1119
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:38,240
Speaker 2: But it doesn't mean it's an easy path.

1120
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:43,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, being alive entails all of it, the good, the bad, ups,

1121
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:43,760
Speaker 1: the downs.

1122
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:45,200
Speaker 2: I mean it's a wave, you know, it's like this

1123
00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:48,640
Speaker 2: to shll pass, but that goes for the good and

1124
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:51,400
Speaker 2: the bad. We always use it in the bad, but

1125
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:54,560
Speaker 2: it's very humbling to also know when it's really great.

1126
00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 2: It's also kind of humbling to realize, yeah, you know,

1127
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 2: yeah change.

1128
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:03,560
Speaker 1: Right the way that makes me so present for the

1129
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:05,840
Speaker 1: good when it's good, because I've seen them. I'm like

1130
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 1: when it's good, I'm like, i am so int my

1131
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 1: feet on the ground. I can feel this, I'm remembering

1132
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 1: this moment. It feels amazing. And there's something you said

1133
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 1: about just briefly about your mother influencing your father and

1134
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:22,480
Speaker 1: the amazing things he was able to accomplish because your

1135
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 1: mother was in his life. So I just want to

1136
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:26,800
Speaker 1: speak to the millennials who aren't into getting married anymore

1137
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:31,560
Speaker 1: or whatever. It's stuck with me because I'm like guys,

1138
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 1: I have so many guy friends who'd be like, I

1139
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:36,280
Speaker 1: just need to achieve X, Y and Z before I

1140
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:37,600
Speaker 1: can settle down with the woman.

1141
00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:41,600
Speaker 2: And it's like you heard from oh yeah the queen herself.

1142
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:46,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, you need a good woman or partner behind you. Okay,

1143
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 1: it makes enrolled the difference. I makes all the difference

1144
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 1: in the world. When ted and I we got so

1145
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 1: everything happened very fast. We met in June of two

1146
00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:57,000
Speaker 1: thousand and eight. We were married by September of two

1147
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:57,640
Speaker 1: thousand and nine.

1148
00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:00,919
Speaker 2: Wow. And it was I was going off to live

1149
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:02,520
Speaker 2: in the Bahamas. You know, people are like, oh, what

1150
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:05,160
Speaker 2: does the ambassador have to live in the country. Yes,

1151
00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:09,560
Speaker 2: that's how. Yes, I had to move. But he couldn't move.

1152
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,920
Speaker 2: So Teddy was always on a plane, you know, coming

1153
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:15,160
Speaker 2: every two weeks. The kids were young, they were coming

1154
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 2: every two weeks, and so it was. But right when

1155
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 2: we got together, both of our lives, we just decided

1156
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:26,560
Speaker 2: we're going to support each other. And he was growing,

1157
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:29,360
Speaker 2: and he was growing at Netflix, and but he had

1158
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:32,600
Speaker 2: these ideas. It was before original programming, it was before Benji,

1159
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:35,000
Speaker 2: it was before all of this. But I would listen

1160
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:37,320
Speaker 2: to his ideas and I would look at him even

1161
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:40,240
Speaker 2: though I didn't understand. I was like, oh, that's so cute. Okay, Okay,

1162
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about,

1163
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:44,920
Speaker 2: but okay. And but he looked at me and like,

1164
00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:46,880
Speaker 2: this is a big deal. I don't know if I

1165
00:58:46,920 --> 00:58:49,320
Speaker 2: want to go do this. I mean, I love He's

1166
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:51,760
Speaker 2: like Nicole, when the president asked you to do something,

1167
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:54,640
Speaker 2: you know you should, you should, you should maybe it

1168
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:57,919
Speaker 2: go serve he goes. But he was so great because

1169
00:58:57,960 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 2: he was a real cheerleader. And my friend Charlie, but

1170
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:02,360
Speaker 2: both were on me of you'll regret that you didn't

1171
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:04,280
Speaker 2: do it. Yeah, just take it's not forever.

1172
00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:04,959
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1173
00:59:05,240 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 2: And you love your country, you love serving, and and

1174
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:13,800
Speaker 2: you love you love building bridges. I mean, all those

1175
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:17,120
Speaker 2: things are true. And I really am a very proud American.

1176
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:22,760
Speaker 2: And I loved it. I loved serving. I loved serving

1177
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:24,600
Speaker 2: the government. And when I say the government, it was

1178
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:27,480
Speaker 2: everybody it was Democrats, Republicans, independent. We had to work

1179
00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:31,600
Speaker 2: together all day long and you're supposed to and with

1180
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:36,720
Speaker 2: the host country. Behamans are very conservative, and I don't

1181
00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:39,800
Speaker 2: think people realize that ivative, like I go there on vacation.

1182
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:45,240
Speaker 2: What do you mean observation? Yeah, and you know, for

1183
00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:47,040
Speaker 2: the most part, and when I went in, it was

1184
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:49,320
Speaker 2: a very conservative government and it was fine. It was like,

1185
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:51,240
Speaker 2: this is okay, let's try to meet the middle here.

1186
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 2: We have a really great relationship. We're not going to

1187
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:57,160
Speaker 2: ruin the relationship. Let's just see if we can do something.

1188
00:59:57,200 --> 01:00:00,840
Speaker 2: And sometimes it was a hard no mm hmm, but

1189
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:03,880
Speaker 2: we tried. This is what I like doing, and so

1190
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,680
Speaker 2: I do think it's it's really important to have a

1191
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 2: really great partner that you can grow with and you

1192
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:14,200
Speaker 2: don't have to have everything perfect, you don't have to

1193
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 2: have everything right there. I know so many men who've

1194
01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:21,280
Speaker 2: done so much better when they had someone right with them,

1195
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:25,320
Speaker 2: or women too, who have a partner who really believe

1196
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:29,360
Speaker 2: in them and have a support system. And it's helpful.

1197
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:31,720
Speaker 2: I mean Ted really helped. I mean, could I have

1198
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:35,840
Speaker 2: done the job sure, without absolutely did Ted make it

1199
01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:40,120
Speaker 2: better and more fulfilling for me one hundred percent. That's beautiful.

1200
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:42,960
Speaker 2: That's beautiful. You heard it here, guys.

1201
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:46,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, guys, get partnered.

1202
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 2: They use are into it. The children are the future.

1203
01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:50,800
Speaker 1: When you talk about the eighteen year olds and the

1204
01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:53,760
Speaker 1: way they're seeing their work and themselves, I'm like, I'm

1205
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:55,880
Speaker 1: seeing them also want to be partners with millennials.

1206
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 2: Guys. Let's repair you guys have how many kids together?

1207
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:03,320
Speaker 2: So we have two kids there so when I married Ted,

1208
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:05,320
Speaker 2: So they're my step kids, which I don't even call

1209
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 2: my step they're like mine. Sure. I met Tony and

1210
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 2: Sarah when they were twelve and fourteen. Okay, the fourteen

1211
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:13,960
Speaker 2: year old was the girl, Okay, so that was fun.

1212
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 2: But Sarah now is amazing. I mean, she's in New York, okay,

1213
01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:22,640
Speaker 2: and she didn't like when we dropped her off there either. Yeah,

1214
01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:25,160
Speaker 2: and now she doesn't want to come home, okay, and

1215
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:27,440
Speaker 2: she loves it and she's thriving in New York. Has

1216
01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:29,320
Speaker 2: really made her into who she is. And she's a

1217
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:32,080
Speaker 2: great film producer. And what I love is that I

1218
01:01:32,120 --> 01:01:34,240
Speaker 2: love the irony of the whole thing of Ted's mister,

1219
01:01:34,880 --> 01:01:37,919
Speaker 2: you know, Netflix, and Sarah loves independent film.

1220
01:01:38,080 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 1: Oh wow.

1221
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:41,640
Speaker 2: She she can get jobs. People will want to hire

1222
01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 2: on huge films and she's like, no, I want the

1223
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:45,680
Speaker 2: indie film. Yeah, I believe in it. I want to

1224
01:01:45,720 --> 01:01:47,320
Speaker 2: raise the money. I want to raise this and I

1225
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:49,280
Speaker 2: want I want the director to work and the right.

1226
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:52,760
Speaker 2: She loves that. But she's got that grind. Yeah, because

1227
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:54,720
Speaker 2: I really believe New York gave her that grind. I

1228
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:56,480
Speaker 2: don't think she would have found it here, right.

1229
01:01:56,600 --> 01:01:59,120
Speaker 1: May I ask what the moment is for you and Sarah?

1230
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:02,240
Speaker 1: Where it went from that was challenging to we've connected

1231
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:04,120
Speaker 1: like in a movie. What was the moment where it

1232
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:05,920
Speaker 1: was like if it was like a movie where one

1233
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:08,560
Speaker 1: day you're like, we've found a really.

1234
01:02:08,560 --> 01:02:12,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know she I have to give her credit, Sarah.

1235
01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:19,400
Speaker 2: Sarah is very good at owning her energy. So Sarah was.

1236
01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:21,760
Speaker 2: I mean, there was one day where I would always

1237
01:02:21,760 --> 01:02:23,760
Speaker 2: tiptoe and tiptoe and I was like, Okay, I want

1238
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:25,120
Speaker 2: to make it nice and I don't want to be

1239
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:27,520
Speaker 2: the stereotypical step mom where I'm cursing them out all

1240
01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:33,439
Speaker 2: the time and laughing. But there was also a day

1241
01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:36,840
Speaker 2: I think where she realized I said, listen, I love you.

1242
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:39,000
Speaker 2: I'm not replacing your mom. I talk to your mom

1243
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 2: all the time. There's none of that happening here. However,

1244
01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:46,120
Speaker 2: this is our home. But I am the adult in

1245
01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:49,200
Speaker 2: the home, and yes, your dad. There's two adults, but

1246
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:51,760
Speaker 2: there's a woman of the home that would be me,

1247
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:55,120
Speaker 2: and we do have rules and we do have values.

1248
01:02:55,160 --> 01:02:57,200
Speaker 2: And you know, of course she's typical tees. You're like,

1249
01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:59,200
Speaker 2: why am I going to listen to you? But I

1250
01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:02,360
Speaker 2: think you know, the turning point with Sarah was she

1251
01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:06,240
Speaker 2: actually came to me and said, you know, you know,

1252
01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:08,800
Speaker 2: after she moved out, and you know, I had her

1253
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 2: doing the same thing. I'm like, you go be a waitress,

1254
01:03:11,280 --> 01:03:13,760
Speaker 2: you go see how it is. You have a very

1255
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:15,680
Speaker 2: comfortable home. You know you're never going to end up

1256
01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:17,520
Speaker 2: on the street. But I need you to work, and

1257
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:19,480
Speaker 2: I need you to work in a job where they

1258
01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:21,439
Speaker 2: don't pay you a lot and where people don't treat

1259
01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:26,120
Speaker 2: you right. And you know, in her twenties, I mean,

1260
01:03:26,160 --> 01:03:28,640
Speaker 2: she wrote me a beautiful letter and it was the change.

1261
01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:31,480
Speaker 2: It was the turning point, which was you know, I

1262
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:33,840
Speaker 2: know I was really shitty to you a lot of times,

1263
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:39,360
Speaker 2: and I didn't appreciate you, and I really just wanted

1264
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:42,000
Speaker 2: to make it hard for you. But now that I'm

1265
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:44,000
Speaker 2: out of the house, and now that I've grown up

1266
01:03:44,480 --> 01:03:46,919
Speaker 2: and now that I've changed, I really want to say

1267
01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:49,960
Speaker 2: thank you for not giving up on me, thank you

1268
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:52,240
Speaker 2: for believing in me, and thank you for loving me.

1269
01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:55,960
Speaker 2: And it was Sarah who really was the one that

1270
01:03:56,080 --> 01:03:58,959
Speaker 2: came to it, and we've been like this ever since.

1271
01:03:59,040 --> 01:04:01,440
Speaker 2: I mean, she is my child. I mean, she's just

1272
01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:05,760
Speaker 2: my girl. Yea. And and you know, and Tony's so

1273
01:04:05,880 --> 01:04:09,440
Speaker 2: great and we call him the Buddha baby. She's just

1274
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:15,800
Speaker 2: so easy and so he's just so good. Signs. What

1275
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:18,120
Speaker 2: are you in? March?

1276
01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:24,520
Speaker 1: March tenth? And this is why this is well, okay, Nicole,

1277
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:27,360
Speaker 1: I have a segment alcohol. That's nice, but what about me?

1278
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:29,400
Speaker 2: Okay?

1279
01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:32,280
Speaker 1: And we're going to enter that segment. You said so

1280
01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:36,080
Speaker 1: many insightful, beautiful things that I'm gonna sit with and

1281
01:04:36,400 --> 01:04:38,640
Speaker 1: reflect upon, and so thank you for sharing that with me.

1282
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:41,400
Speaker 1: I need a piece of advice. There's something you said

1283
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:45,120
Speaker 1: about quitting and how you don't quit. I don't quit either,

1284
01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:47,919
Speaker 1: and I've been reflecting a lot lately about when to quit.

1285
01:04:47,960 --> 01:04:49,960
Speaker 1: And then you said you won't stick in a space

1286
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:53,960
Speaker 1: that's not aligned or that doesn't feel right. I cannot

1287
01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:57,240
Speaker 1: quite figure out that line. Now I like math. I realized, Yeah,

1288
01:04:57,240 --> 01:04:59,160
Speaker 1: I realize I like math, and sometimes I'm like, just

1289
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:02,560
Speaker 1: tell me the number or like making an equation. How

1290
01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:06,360
Speaker 1: do you decide when something is quitting or removing yourself?

1291
01:05:06,520 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 2: Ty, Yeah, it's hard. I have had to each time

1292
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:12,160
Speaker 2: I do it because it's the biggest challenge for me.

1293
01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:15,000
Speaker 2: I really have to pray on it. And I was like, Okay,

1294
01:05:15,080 --> 01:05:17,520
Speaker 2: you know what at this point, you I'm if I

1295
01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:21,320
Speaker 2: want to move, I want to do this. I think

1296
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:24,560
Speaker 2: it's time, and I'm really stuck. I don't know, because

1297
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:27,320
Speaker 2: sometimes it's I've done it the other way where I

1298
01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:30,120
Speaker 2: thought it was time to move, I was frustrated, I

1299
01:05:30,920 --> 01:05:33,720
Speaker 2: didn't feel like I was going forward, and then I moved.

1300
01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:37,320
Speaker 2: Two weeks later, I was offered the promotion that I wanted.

1301
01:05:37,800 --> 01:05:40,040
Speaker 2: So the timing was always off set sometimes, But I

1302
01:05:40,040 --> 01:05:45,320
Speaker 2: think it's it's it's not that you always have to

1303
01:05:45,320 --> 01:05:47,880
Speaker 2: feel fulfilled, because sometimes you just won't. Even in a

1304
01:05:47,960 --> 01:05:50,160
Speaker 2: job you love, there will be days where you're frustrated

1305
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:52,920
Speaker 2: and not fulfilled. But I think when it becomes so

1306
01:05:53,160 --> 01:05:58,080
Speaker 2: dreadful and you just don't, you just sometimes you'll just

1307
01:05:58,160 --> 01:06:01,240
Speaker 2: know my energy is expired. It's not even about the job.

1308
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:06,120
Speaker 2: My energy has just expired for this. And but I

1309
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:08,520
Speaker 2: always still would pray on it, and always, you know,

1310
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:10,600
Speaker 2: I would set my intentions and I would set my

1311
01:06:10,680 --> 01:06:12,479
Speaker 2: goal and then I would say that will be done,

1312
01:06:13,240 --> 01:06:16,000
Speaker 2: just you know, help me out here. And for those

1313
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:18,520
Speaker 2: people who don't pray, I would say, or don't believe

1314
01:06:19,240 --> 01:06:23,640
Speaker 2: it's I do think it's an inner energy of when

1315
01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:27,640
Speaker 2: you start to feel depleted so much or so heavily

1316
01:06:27,720 --> 01:06:33,680
Speaker 2: burdened and zero joy, that it might be okay, there's

1317
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:37,720
Speaker 2: something that is a I think it's a light of

1318
01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:41,000
Speaker 2: there's something else over here for you, and you really

1319
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:43,600
Speaker 2: might like it. And the beauty of it is if

1320
01:06:43,640 --> 01:06:46,280
Speaker 2: you're wrong, you're wrong. I mean, it's not It doesn't

1321
01:06:46,320 --> 01:06:48,040
Speaker 2: mean you're a quitter. Sometimes you do just have to

1322
01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:50,919
Speaker 2: quit things that just don't work, But it doesn't mean,

1323
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:55,120
Speaker 2: you know, quitting things and being a quitter are very different.

1324
01:06:55,320 --> 01:06:57,720
Speaker 2: That's a good distinction. So I think that's it. You know,

1325
01:06:57,800 --> 01:07:00,160
Speaker 2: if you're not a quitter, you could still leave things.

1326
01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:03,439
Speaker 2: I've left a lot of things. I've left relationships where

1327
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:05,320
Speaker 2: I felt like I was quitting, but I was like, no,

1328
01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:08,040
Speaker 2: I gave everything I could, but I know it is

1329
01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:09,600
Speaker 2: time for me to leave. But I also know that

1330
01:07:09,720 --> 01:07:14,520
Speaker 2: I'm not a quitter. I I I that's not my personality.

1331
01:07:14,560 --> 01:07:16,440
Speaker 2: I don't quit on people, I don't quit on things.

1332
01:07:16,680 --> 01:07:19,280
Speaker 2: But it's time to go. At the same time, yeah, okay,

1333
01:07:19,640 --> 01:07:21,080
Speaker 2: I need that. That is so helpful.

1334
01:07:21,080 --> 01:07:24,320
Speaker 1: That is gonna sit with me because it is I get.

1335
01:07:24,360 --> 01:07:26,240
Speaker 1: I do get the distinction as a person who's not

1336
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:29,680
Speaker 1: a quitter. And it's like I will suffer through, I

1337
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:33,160
Speaker 1: will be a martyr. And it's like joy, what about joy?

1338
01:07:33,320 --> 01:07:35,640
Speaker 1: What about being happy? And you'll know, you know the

1339
01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:38,120
Speaker 1: different now the energy. I think it's the energy balance,

1340
01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:40,000
Speaker 1: you know. I always try to give the eighty twenty rule.

1341
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:43,160
Speaker 1: Eighty percent of the time good, it's great if it's

1342
01:07:43,240 --> 01:07:44,400
Speaker 1: eighty percent.

1343
01:07:44,120 --> 01:07:47,880
Speaker 2: Of dread, and obviously you gotta go, you gotta move.

1344
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:49,920
Speaker 2: It's even if it's fifty percent, then you have to

1345
01:07:49,960 --> 01:07:53,480
Speaker 2: make a decision. And again sometimes the decision will work,

1346
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:56,320
Speaker 2: and then sometimes you'll realize, you know, I think it's

1347
01:07:56,440 --> 01:07:58,400
Speaker 2: the grass. What is it? You know? The grass is

1348
01:07:58,440 --> 01:08:00,440
Speaker 2: never greener on each side. The grass has be watered

1349
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:05,120
Speaker 2: no matter where you are, so you know, I think

1350
01:08:05,160 --> 01:08:07,880
Speaker 2: I would say another thing, but my mom would always say,

1351
01:08:07,880 --> 01:08:10,160
Speaker 2: you know, wherever you go, there you are. I know,

1352
01:08:10,440 --> 01:08:12,840
Speaker 2: I'm a big one on that. Yeah, and that and that,

1353
01:08:12,960 --> 01:08:15,800
Speaker 2: and it's true. So wherever you go, there you are.

1354
01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:18,840
Speaker 2: So if you like yourself, I mean, that's why we

1355
01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:21,720
Speaker 2: would tell Sarah if you don't the beauty of it,

1356
01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:24,040
Speaker 2: because she hated when I say that, and I would say, Sarah,

1357
01:08:24,120 --> 01:08:26,799
Speaker 2: but the beauty mean that. The beauty of that statement

1358
01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:30,160
Speaker 2: is that if you're happy with yourself and you actually

1359
01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:34,000
Speaker 2: like yourself, and you appreciate yourself and you value yourself,

1360
01:08:34,080 --> 01:08:37,679
Speaker 2: no matter where you are, you still have you. Everyone

1361
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:40,480
Speaker 2: can hate on you, but you still have you. Yeah.

1362
01:08:40,520 --> 01:08:43,599
Speaker 2: So it's sound wisdom. It's sad.

1363
01:08:43,680 --> 01:08:45,760
Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing it with me, and it's something

1364
01:08:45,760 --> 01:08:47,400
Speaker 1: that I go back to to I go I won't

1365
01:08:47,439 --> 01:08:49,360
Speaker 1: leave any even if I am going to quit a place,

1366
01:08:49,520 --> 01:08:53,519
Speaker 1: a thing, move on from something, I can't leave. I

1367
01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:56,320
Speaker 1: don't like to leave upset and I'd like to be

1368
01:08:56,520 --> 01:08:59,160
Speaker 1: like ingratitude for the experience before.

1369
01:08:58,880 --> 01:09:02,160
Speaker 2: I do any And even if it was the toughest

1370
01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:05,479
Speaker 2: experience which I have had, and I left something I

1371
01:09:05,520 --> 01:09:07,479
Speaker 2: loved and I was in the record business. I was

1372
01:09:07,479 --> 01:09:09,519
Speaker 2: in my twenties and I loved it, but it was

1373
01:09:09,560 --> 01:09:12,479
Speaker 2: time to leave. And even though I had a tough

1374
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:18,679
Speaker 2: experience with people, I had gratitude for their behavior because

1375
01:09:18,720 --> 01:09:20,519
Speaker 2: it made me a better person. And it always makes

1376
01:09:20,560 --> 01:09:23,040
Speaker 2: it like, I never want to be like that. Thank God,

1377
01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:28,320
Speaker 2: I'm not like that. Thank you sometimes you thank God,

1378
01:09:28,479 --> 01:09:31,680
Speaker 2: thank God, I'm not like that. But also it just

1379
01:09:31,880 --> 01:09:35,519
Speaker 2: it does help you at least just have gratitude for

1380
01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:38,439
Speaker 2: the situation. If they gave you great, great, If they

1381
01:09:38,479 --> 01:09:40,320
Speaker 2: gave you good, great, Even if they gave you bad,

1382
01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:43,519
Speaker 2: it's still good because hopefully you can just pull the

1383
01:09:43,600 --> 01:09:47,599
Speaker 2: lesson and pull a blessing. And I had a really

1384
01:09:47,640 --> 01:09:50,519
Speaker 2: tough boss and she was not kind and not patient,

1385
01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:54,360
Speaker 2: but damn she was smart. And I even though I

1386
01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:58,880
Speaker 2: left and it was grinding every day and it was

1387
01:09:59,040 --> 01:10:03,800
Speaker 2: very devil worres probably oh yeah, but she gave me

1388
01:10:04,160 --> 01:10:06,960
Speaker 2: so many skills that I have used throughout my life

1389
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:10,280
Speaker 2: because I was watching her, I was learning from her,

1390
01:10:10,520 --> 01:10:13,000
Speaker 2: and she didn't need to be nice or kind or anything.

1391
01:10:13,040 --> 01:10:17,719
Speaker 2: She wasn't. She was actually quite cruel. But I learned

1392
01:10:18,280 --> 01:10:20,479
Speaker 2: so much so I just decide, Okay, I'll take that

1393
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:22,280
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna take her personality. I don't have to

1394
01:10:22,280 --> 01:10:25,080
Speaker 2: do that, but I will take what what she was.

1395
01:10:25,120 --> 01:10:27,519
Speaker 2: She was brilliant and I learned a lot from her,

1396
01:10:27,560 --> 01:10:28,080
Speaker 2: so I'll take that.

1397
01:10:28,320 --> 01:10:32,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's whise. That is whise, and that's smart

1398
01:10:32,160 --> 01:10:34,680
Speaker 1: to go. I'm seeing a lot that I don't care for.

1399
01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:36,920
Speaker 1: But what is this teacher mean? You You said something

1400
01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:39,240
Speaker 1: to that effect earlier too, about the lessons you can

1401
01:10:39,280 --> 01:10:43,360
Speaker 1: take from unpleasant experiences, So making that making that the

1402
01:10:43,439 --> 01:10:46,360
Speaker 1: goal even in an unpleasant experiences, Like, there's something here

1403
01:10:46,400 --> 01:10:46,960
Speaker 1: I could learn.

1404
01:10:47,120 --> 01:10:48,839
Speaker 2: It can always if.

1405
01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:51,320
Speaker 1: What I don't want to be, it can be. This

1406
01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:53,400
Speaker 1: person is not how I want to be. But boy

1407
01:10:53,400 --> 01:10:56,960
Speaker 1: are they smart or like you know, or business savvy, so.

1408
01:10:57,040 --> 01:11:02,200
Speaker 2: There's always a takeaway. Yeah, Nicole, what joy and so good.

1409
01:11:02,560 --> 01:11:04,439
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me.

1410
01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:07,439
Speaker 1: Thank you for being here. I really appreciate it. People

1411
01:11:07,920 --> 01:11:11,240
Speaker 1: get think you'll be happy anywhere you get books with

1412
01:11:11,280 --> 01:11:14,679
Speaker 1: a new forward by your husband, Yes, Ted Saranda's I'm

1413
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:16,120
Speaker 1: I have a copy waiting for me.

1414
01:11:16,160 --> 01:11:19,759
Speaker 2: I'm spoiled. I can't wait to read it. Forward beautiful.

1415
01:11:19,840 --> 01:11:23,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so excited. Thank you so much for being here.

1416
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:30,960
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. That was my conversation with

1417
01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:31,719
Speaker 1: Nicole Evant.

1418
01:11:32,320 --> 01:11:34,360
Speaker 2: I am in awe.

1419
01:11:34,439 --> 01:11:36,559
Speaker 1: There is a lot for me to reflect on. I

1420
01:11:36,600 --> 01:11:39,280
Speaker 1: am so grateful to have gotten to sit with her

1421
01:11:39,560 --> 01:11:41,880
Speaker 1: and hear from her, and by way of her, hear

1422
01:11:42,000 --> 01:11:45,320
Speaker 1: from her parents in a sense, and hear what was

1423
01:11:45,360 --> 01:11:49,719
Speaker 1: important to them and how they were raising their children

1424
01:11:49,760 --> 01:11:53,760
Speaker 1: in such a beautiful and thoughtful, really really thoughtful way.

1425
01:11:54,479 --> 01:11:58,360
Speaker 1: I'm inspired, and I'm really really glad. I didn't try

1426
01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:00,880
Speaker 1: to lean into jokes too much on this episode, because,

1427
01:12:00,960 --> 01:12:05,759
Speaker 1: as you heard up top, uh, some of my jokes

1428
01:12:05,800 --> 01:12:09,919
Speaker 1: are bad, and so I stuck to being like mostly earnest,

1429
01:12:10,200 --> 01:12:13,519
Speaker 1: mostly earnest. And I did that for the sake of

1430
01:12:13,560 --> 01:12:16,200
Speaker 1: the conversation and for the sake of my name frankly

1431
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:19,200
Speaker 1: in comedy. And anyway, I just loved it. I hope

1432
01:12:19,280 --> 01:12:22,840
Speaker 1: you did too. If you want advice from me and

1433
01:12:22,920 --> 01:12:27,320
Speaker 1: my guests, please call us call me, leave a voicemail.

1434
01:12:27,320 --> 01:12:29,400
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna pick up. I'm sending you straight to voicemail.

1435
01:12:29,800 --> 01:12:33,519
Speaker 1: But the number is five zero two eight four nine

1436
01:12:33,720 --> 01:12:36,360
Speaker 1: three two three seven. I look like I'm reading a teleprompter.

1437
01:12:36,560 --> 01:12:39,240
Speaker 2: I'm not. It's not a dump. It a dome. Baby,

1438
01:12:39,760 --> 01:12:42,080
Speaker 2: that's the number. Five O two eight four nine three

1439
01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:44,080
Speaker 2: two three seven. It's five O two.

1440
01:12:44,479 --> 01:12:47,120
Speaker 1: Thanks Dad's you get it all right?

1441
01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:49,880
Speaker 2: See you next time. Thanks Dad.

1442
01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:52,080
Speaker 1: Is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and

1443
01:12:52,160 --> 01:12:53,280
Speaker 1: iHeart podcast.

1444
01:12:53,600 --> 01:12:55,560
Speaker 2: I'm your host Ago wodem.

1445
01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:58,720
Speaker 1: Our, producer is Kevin Bartelt, and our executive producer is

1446
01:12:58,720 --> 01:13:02,639
Speaker 1: Matt Appadaka I Open