Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of The Mess Around with
Speaker 1: Hannah and Lemoarne. Glad you could be here. Uh so,
Speaker 1: uh Hannah. Yeah, last episode we were talking a little
Speaker 1: bit about because this is probably a second episode in
Speaker 1: a row. Well, this is the second episode in a
Speaker 1: row where you're not rocking merch. What's going on?
Speaker 2: I know, I know. Well I'm waiting now for you.
Speaker 2: It's your turn.
Speaker 1: I don't have any more.
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? You get here. This is
Speaker 2: what I really think happens with your merch, okay, with
Speaker 2: your mess Around merch, is that you give it to people.
Speaker 1: That's fair.
Speaker 2: I tell you what. I do it all the time.
Speaker 2: Friends of my new visit I have friends because I've
Speaker 2: tried all a ton around the world. And then people
Speaker 2: come and visit me and then they're like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: like you still do the podcast, Like yeah, I love
Speaker 2: it so much. And then I'm like, here's you want
Speaker 2: to swatter?
Speaker 1: And they're like, yes, well no, here's the thing you have,
Speaker 1: like a surplus of it you have like you have
Speaker 1: some at your house in Bulk. I don't have that
Speaker 1: same I do.
Speaker 2: I do have a few pieces, Yeah I don't.
Speaker 1: I only get what you gave me. You literally gave
Speaker 1: me a shirt, a hoodie, a hat.
Speaker 2: All right, you want more?
Speaker 1: Okay, I wear but the hat, I wore it out
Speaker 1: so much that it's filthy, so I can't keep wearing it.
Speaker 1: It's white.
Speaker 2: Your hat's white.
Speaker 1: The hat that I have have a white one. Whoa Hannah,
Speaker 1: Slow down, Slow down. It's the same as the black
Speaker 1: ones and the brown ones.
Speaker 2: I didn't even know that we made white hats, y'all. Okay, well,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm gonna do. This is what I'm
Speaker 2: gonna do for you. I'm going to text your assistant
Speaker 2: and tell her to go to your wallet and get
Speaker 2: your credit card, and you're gonna buy a bunch of
Speaker 2: merch that you are then gonna wear on this show
Speaker 2: so that we can show our fans how hard we
Speaker 2: have worked at making some sigass merch for them, and
Speaker 2: then they can see it on your Emmy Award winning
Speaker 2: body period today.
Speaker 1: The episode is called Teachers Teachers.
Speaker 2: By the way, Kim Rosensak, who co created Dying for
Speaker 2: Sex with Liz Merriweather, which is like a huge show
Speaker 2: that everybody's freaking out about, and this is Kim's episode
Speaker 2: right here, Yeah, trentle Donald directed, Who's like the king
Speaker 2: of TV right now?
Speaker 1: Oh I love Trent. Trent is the man. We love TV.
Speaker 2: Do you know that like everything he touches God like
Speaker 2: to gold DMV, got picked up, Ghost, got two more
Speaker 2: seasons picked up like literally everything that he has touched
Speaker 2: his now continued like keeps getting made. Yeah, Donald man.
Speaker 1: Trenttle' donald is that dope. He's that dope, Jess. Okay,
Speaker 1: this episode, Jess and Coach. They head to a teacher's conference,
Speaker 1: where Coach has to face his fear of teaching health
Speaker 1: class and Jess is doing everything she can to avoid
Speaker 1: Ryan aka Ryan goes in you But damn that boy dreaming.
Speaker 1: He's so dreaming. But anyway, Meanwhile, back at the Loft,
Speaker 1: Guy's night takes a very very weird turn. Nick ends
Speaker 1: up teaching Schmidt how to do laundry Winston. He helps
Speaker 1: Winston figure out how to use a ruler, which is
Speaker 1: so silly, and has to admit he has never learned
Speaker 1: how to love.
Speaker 3: We'll be right back, and we're right back.
Speaker 1: We're right back, right back, right back, right back. Okay,
Speaker 1: So Coach is letting the boys know that that he
Speaker 1: let Jess know that he doesn't want to teach health, right,
Speaker 1: that's not for him. He just wants to skip the conference.
Speaker 1: He wants to hang out with the boys for guys night.
Speaker 1: It's guys night, which is pretty much just celebrating one justly.
Speaker 2: Which, by the way, is actually the right description of
Speaker 2: how guys nights or girls' nights usually happen, which is
Speaker 2: like your partner is going on a trip somewhere, right.
Speaker 2: You never just go like you're in a relationship and
Speaker 2: be like, it's guys night. It's like, well, yeah, it's
Speaker 2: like I'm here so right, So it's perfect. They're very
Speaker 2: excited and he wants to stay for a guys night,
Speaker 2: but he's got a job. Also, like the disrespect for
Speaker 2: these people on their jobs. You got a job, you
Speaker 2: gotta go to the conference.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you think this is? First of all,
Speaker 1: if I were a teacher, If I were a teacher,
Speaker 1: I got to say I would hate to go to
Speaker 1: well hate well, I would hate to go to these conferences.
Speaker 1: I like things like that because there is the there
Speaker 1: is the the allure that maybe there will be some
Speaker 1: hooking up going on. But like what if you're like
Speaker 1: not attracted to any of the staff. You know.
Speaker 2: I like how you're like, I'd be only interested to
Speaker 2: go to my work conference if it was full of
Speaker 2: attractive people who will be willing to sleep with me.
Speaker 1: You ain't got to sleep, you know, you got to
Speaker 1: you ain't got to stick around.
Speaker 2: Well, if you knew that Lisa Bonett was gonna be there.
Speaker 1: I'd stick around.
Speaker 2: Now, Oh, Lisa, Lisa Bonet. I just would like to say,
Speaker 2: this is like what she did for men of a
Speaker 2: certain generation, Like the level of awakening and crushes and
Speaker 2: like belief of like a real love that they could
Speaker 2: have from her, is like what Johnny Depp did for
Speaker 2: a certain like at a certain timeframe, for women of
Speaker 2: a certain generation. Like yeah, obviously it's problem that problematic
Speaker 2: now for Johnny, But I'm just saying, like Lisa Bonett,
Speaker 2: I would talk to men about Lisaboney and the way
Speaker 2: their eyes would light up and they'd be transported back
Speaker 2: to being like thirteen years old or something, and they
Speaker 2: were just like, she's the most beautiful woman that's ever lived.
Speaker 2: I don't even know. I was in love with her for.
Speaker 1: So long, you know what's so crazy? I feel the
Speaker 1: same with I was much younger obviously, but I still
Speaker 1: feel the exact same way, and and to a certain
Speaker 1: degree still do. She is fantastic. I remember, did I
Speaker 1: ever tell you this? I think I may have said
Speaker 1: it on this podcast before. H No, not the sandwich,
Speaker 1: but I could. But that's a that's a big that's
Speaker 1: a big one. It wasn't the sandwich. It was when
Speaker 1: she was in the hair makeup trailer for our show
Speaker 1: and I saw her and I was and she was
Speaker 1: super nice and everybody's getting their hair makeup done and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh hey, she was like, such a
Speaker 1: pleasure to meet you. I was like, oh you as well.
Speaker 1: And I don't know why I said this, but it
Speaker 1: came out. I said it, and it's because I've had
Speaker 1: a real crush on her daughter for a long time.
Speaker 1: I said, Oh, I'm a huge I was like. I
Speaker 1: was like, I was like, such a pleasure to meet you,
Speaker 1: just a pleasurement. I was like, I love your daughter.
Speaker 1: I think she's great. And she goes like this, thank you,
Speaker 1: kind of like chill br that's right.
Speaker 2: She was like, Okay, you know what she can do.
Speaker 2: She could probably sense in your energy when you walked
Speaker 2: in the room. You also once carried a torch for her,
Speaker 2: And it's a very strange thing to be like that.
Speaker 2: You can you could love and idolize and worship the
Speaker 2: mother and then just keep that torch going in the
Speaker 2: flame going for the daughter as well.
Speaker 1: I mean, what a what a family. But you know
Speaker 1: what's you know what's crazy is that I was just
Speaker 1: being genuine in that moment, but also didn't think it through. Like,
Speaker 1: just just let that sink it for a second. If
Speaker 1: some dude walks up to me in the future, let's
Speaker 1: say Lily becomes like an actor or a musician or
Speaker 1: someone of a public notoriety, and I'm you know, and
Speaker 1: I'm working with some younger dude and he's just like, man,
Speaker 1: I love your daughter. I'm gonna look at him differently
Speaker 1: for sure and be like, fuck you mean bro, that's right.
Speaker 2: You're not saying I'm in love with your daughter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I just you know, I I you know,
Speaker 1: if I could take that back, I would, but I did.
Speaker 1: But you know I did it.
Speaker 2: I said it, and it ended up working out because
Speaker 2: you cross paths with both of them. Had a fine time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was at the Gold party. Jay Z had
Speaker 1: a gold jay Z and Beyonce had a gold party
Speaker 1: a while ago after the Oscars, and I got invited
Speaker 1: to it and I and I'm there and at one
Speaker 1: point they're dancing with each other and as I I'm like,
Speaker 1: they're kind of like in this walkway, so I'm walking
Speaker 1: past trying to get around, but I ended up sliding
Speaker 1: in between them and they start dancing like this on me.
Speaker 1: I was like a bit of a sandwich. And I
Speaker 1: panicked and just was like ha and like left. And
Speaker 1: my boy at the time was looking at me.
Speaker 2: Like, bro, what do you do? Put you to stick around?
Speaker 1: Stick around? Never again ever in the history of life.
Speaker 2: Full circle moment though, for like your young boy soul.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I've lived a crazy life. Even though it's
Speaker 1: little run ends like.
Speaker 2: That, it is weird when you think about it. My
Speaker 2: very good friend Wendy was here this past week and
Speaker 2: we were just talking about all the weird stories in life.
Speaker 2: We've known each other forever, and she was like, what
Speaker 2: do you think, like if the ten year old you
Speaker 2: could see your life right now? And I was like,
Speaker 2: would think your full face line like if you told
Speaker 2: any any handful of weird stories would just be like,
Speaker 2: why are you being so cruel? Yeah, yeah, fun, all right,
Speaker 2: this episode, this episode, so yeah, Lisa Bonet is that
Speaker 2: magic man. She's like in a different world. We were
Speaker 2: just like traveler. Now we're just gonna be like they
Speaker 2: went to the teacher's conference and they cried over some
Speaker 2: sad songs. That was the episode. This is the situation.
Speaker 2: Really just needs coach to go there because she needs
Speaker 2: a buffer because it is not allowed. She's not allowed
Speaker 2: to sit there and to date a fellow teacher. She's
Speaker 2: the boss, she's the vice principal, and she's worked so
Speaker 2: hard to get there. Now she has the ultimate temptation
Speaker 2: of her dream man working there, and she's got to
Speaker 2: keep it profession No. She does that by staying away
Speaker 2: from him and running away from him and becomes close
Speaker 2: right right.
Speaker 1: I love the fact that when she was breaking down
Speaker 1: to him, like how great it's gonna be though, she's like,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be so so great. We're gonna rage, well
Speaker 1: except for like you know, we have a ten pm curfew,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's like, so we got
Speaker 1: three hours of rage. It was like two and a
Speaker 1: half because we get thirty minute clean up. We got
Speaker 1: thirty minutes like.
Speaker 2: Teachers, we got to do the cleanup. We gotta do
Speaker 2: the breakdown, we gotta do lights out, we got to
Speaker 2: do quiet time.
Speaker 1: Yes, we'll be in bed by ten. Sounds like, but yeah, yeah, Jess,
Speaker 1: you know or CEC's actually excited for Jess.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, she's like, this is gonna be great, Like,
Speaker 2: go you like you like this guy, It's gotta be fine.
Speaker 2: And she's like, no, this is a living nightmare. She's like,
Speaker 2: you know what, it's gonna be fine. I probably won't
Speaker 2: even see him. It's gonna be okay. Cut to of course,
Speaker 2: they have rooms next to each other in Jessice right,
Speaker 2: this is going to be a nightmare. Then we are
Speaker 2: back at the loft where the guys are trying to
Speaker 2: go full bro out crazy with fart naps and meat
Speaker 2: and beer and.
Speaker 1: Which is crazy jousting. Well, a lot of women don't
Speaker 1: know that men do this. We put on pillows, blankets
Speaker 1: and tape it around ourselves and we joust. We you know,
Speaker 1: when I read episodes like this, I go, oh, I
Speaker 1: know it's a joke and I know it's like a bit,
Speaker 1: but a lot of women were on the show that
Speaker 1: didn't know what men did in private.
Speaker 2: This is Kim's fantasy of what men do, by the way,
Speaker 2: it was beautifully written by a woman, which is basically
Speaker 2: all the ridiculous stereotypes of what men would do. Right, Yes,
Speaker 2: then they're just looking at women, yes, right, Then how
Speaker 2: seriously inept they are is revealed, and then that leads
Speaker 2: to a spiral, and then how a lot of girls
Speaker 2: usually have girls nights where it's just a bunch of
Speaker 2: crying and working through big emotions and sharing.
Speaker 1: I don't buy that. I don't buy that one bit.
Speaker 1: Every time every time girls have You know what I
Speaker 1: think happens when girls have girls night? What orgies?
Speaker 2: That's the man is.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, they just called over so many people
Speaker 1: and they just having an orgy party, and then they go,
Speaker 1: They're gonna make it seem like they were crying and reading,
Speaker 1: and it couldn't.
Speaker 2: I don't think that's ever happened in the history of
Speaker 2: a girl's night.
Speaker 1: What crying and reading?
Speaker 2: No orgies?
Speaker 1: That's first of all, let's just stop right there. I
Speaker 1: guarantee you we can find at least ten people in
Speaker 1: the comments. I'd be like, yeah, I've done that.
Speaker 2: Never. I think it's never happened in human history. That
Speaker 2: girls were like, we're doing a girls night. There's no
Speaker 2: they're not doing that.
Speaker 1: Hannah, I got news for you. It has happened.
Speaker 2: I'm a girl.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, Hannah, you are a married girl.
Speaker 2: I was born married. I've had this mindset for life.
Speaker 2: I've been a wife for life since the day i
Speaker 2: was born.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I'm telling you it has happened. Okay, folks
Speaker 1: in the.
Speaker 2: Commons, Okay, fine, ladies on your girls' nights? Has it
Speaker 2: ever turned into an orgy? Because I will guarantee what
Speaker 2: we just saw a new girl happened on the guys'
Speaker 2: nights has happened. For sure. They thought they were going
Speaker 2: to be all these macho things happening. They got distracted
Speaker 2: by girls. Then they realized they didn't know how to
Speaker 2: do some dumb shit. Then they googled it, and then
Speaker 2: they tried to help each other figure it out, and
Speaker 2: they started to spiral on some weird stuff, and then
Speaker 2: they started to cry and drink too much.
Speaker 1: For sure, it's so crazy that Schmid doesn't know how
Speaker 1: to do laundry. So we get it. Yeah, so we
Speaker 1: get into this because except they were watching these girls
Speaker 1: do yoga. Yes, and then when and then Schmid he
Speaker 1: goes to say hi, but he spills red wine all
Speaker 1: over Jess's comforter, and he's coming up with all these
Speaker 1: reasons why it's bad. But Nick's like, just wash it,
Speaker 1: and he knows he can't do laundry, which is so weird.
Speaker 1: It's so that's we'll just say it, that's stupid.
Speaker 2: People when I went to college who did not know
Speaker 2: how to do laundry, that's wild. They didn't know how
Speaker 2: to do it. Their mom always or dad always did
Speaker 2: it for them. They didn't know how to work the machine.
Speaker 2: And then it was like, you know, like because then
Speaker 2: kids can be annoying, and they were just like like,
Speaker 2: I don't want you messing it up, but he just
Speaker 2: like just and so they were never given that. And
Speaker 2: then they went to university and a lot of guys
Speaker 2: just really didn't do laundry.
Speaker 1: Lily already knows how to do laundry. Lily will see
Speaker 1: me doing laundry. Literally, she'll see me walking past her
Speaker 1: in the laundryroom is down the hall from her room.
Speaker 1: She'll see me walking and then she'll go and then
Speaker 1: she'll be like sitting down. She'll get up and she'll
Speaker 1: go in her closet and grab her dirty clothes hamper
Speaker 1: and drag it out into the hallway. And then and
Speaker 1: then she'll go, can I go first. I'm like, yeah, sure.
Speaker 1: So she'll just start taking her clothes, putting in a laundry,
Speaker 1: and I gotta do the rest. I gotta do the
Speaker 1: soap and the buttons and stuff for her. But she
Speaker 1: knows that she knows the process right. Literally.
Speaker 2: But that's a different generation like this, you know, were
Speaker 2: to be like, okay, let's do it together. I'll teach you,
Speaker 2: I'll show you, you know, like like up on a Greek island,
Speaker 2: those Greek mamas are definitely not letting their little boys
Speaker 2: do laundry, go hunt. I'll do anything you want. No,
Speaker 2: go sit, have a coffee. It's very nice. It's very
Speaker 2: nice to have a Greek mom.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I love my mom. My mom is
Speaker 1: Belligian basically the same thing. She does the same thing
Speaker 1: for me when I come home, when I go to
Speaker 1: visit her, she's always like, you don't do anything. You're fine, Like,
Speaker 1: I gotta go, I'll do it. I'll do it.
Speaker 2: Just eat more. Can I get more food than you?
Speaker 2: Eat more food? Eat more? Food. Sit. Let me just
Speaker 2: look at you. You're my creation. I would like to
Speaker 2: look at you. I don't wan to see my creation
Speaker 2: doing laundry sit. Yeah, I know those those are the
Speaker 2: good moms. But then you don't know how to do laundry.
Speaker 2: Not knowing how to use a ruler. That's that's a
Speaker 2: real Winston situation.
Speaker 1: Well you think about it, it's like the wood, the
Speaker 1: lines on the wood. Do you start at the wood?
Speaker 1: Do you start the line? I've always I've always had the.
Speaker 2: School rulers were confusing because they did with the first tick.
Speaker 2: You're right, like a tiny bit in Yeah, so.
Speaker 1: I'm like rulers, yeah, so like so then I have
Speaker 1: to like go, I'm measuring my smile that I got
Speaker 1: to inched.
Speaker 2: Over something measuring the smile.
Speaker 1: Okay, so oh, first of all, him trying to do
Speaker 1: laundry is so funny. Him puting quarters in the self
Speaker 1: dispenser like it's a laundromat. It's so funny. So anyway,
Speaker 1: we get there, we're back at We're back at the
Speaker 1: conference and coach or Jess is asking coach to be
Speaker 1: her buffer. Now the speaker, Brenda Brown aka Lisa Boney,
Speaker 1: she's asking coach to stand up because he's talking a lot,
Speaker 1: and she asked him why he wants to be a teacher,
Speaker 1: and wait, can.
Speaker 2: I just say the funniest part of that is that
Speaker 2: he was talking too just to tell her to like
Speaker 2: handle herself. But then and he's like, she's like, you
Speaker 2: the talker, m h. And then he was like other
Speaker 2: people were talking to the little kids.
Speaker 1: Response it is and it's a perfect response because they were.
Speaker 2: They weren't. Actually that's true. I love that they like
Speaker 2: backed him up with the audio. They were just like
Speaker 2: they had the other chat in the background. He got
Speaker 2: called out.
Speaker 1: She tells him that he's not ready to be a teacher,
Speaker 1: because he's not ready to be a teacher, and she
Speaker 1: tells she tells the group, you know, in a very motivational,
Speaker 1: very hippie way, that teaching is an awesome responsibility that
Speaker 1: it really is, and she tells everyone to partner up.
Speaker 1: Now here's the thing. The buffer is gone, coach is gone,
Speaker 1: so it's just I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2: I also love this thing. It was last episode two
Speaker 2: where he just goes like, yeah, I just don't care.
Speaker 2: I'm just going to do it. Like he realizes I'm
Speaker 2: an adult and if I don't feel comfortable, I'm just
Speaker 2: not going to do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that should be everyone's motto in life. Nothing will
Speaker 1: get done, sure because nobody actually feels like doing anything
Speaker 1: other than getting a foot rub and eating grapes. Like
Speaker 1: nobody wants them to do anything. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2: I would love a foot rub and to eat some grapes.
Speaker 1: And that's why you got married. Go get that hands.
Speaker 2: Flash is what we're doing tonight, all right, Okay, So
Speaker 2: then Jess is forced to be partners with Ryan, which
Speaker 2: of course is her ultimate nightmare because it's like an
Speaker 2: intimacy bonding connection workshop that Lisa Bonet is running.
Speaker 1: Yes, and then yeah, we.
Speaker 2: Go back to the loft and this is where the
Speaker 2: guys really are in a full spiral about laundry and rulers,
Speaker 2: and Jake is like our Nick is like, okay, I'm
Speaker 2: going to take this on the like simple fixes for
Speaker 2: you guys. Turns out there, yes, yes, And then we
Speaker 2: have the breakdown between Jess and Ryan. Yeah there for
Speaker 2: every everything that he says is like her.
Speaker 3: Dream mm hmmm.
Speaker 1: He scrap books, he owns the arn. He catches Jess
Speaker 1: as she falls during an exercise in which they break records,
Speaker 1: making teamwork a thing.
Speaker 2: It's the sweetest moment when he catches her and the
Speaker 2: blindfold whatever drops and then Zoe just does a beautiful
Speaker 2: performance thing where she just like catches her breath a
Speaker 2: little bit, and you're just she sunk.
Speaker 1: She sunk. Every time I catch a woman, I get
Speaker 1: that same reaction, you know what I mean, Because women
Speaker 1: be falling from like around.
Speaker 2: Me, falling, just fainting.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't know if they're clumsy or narcoleptic. It's
Speaker 1: one of the two.
Speaker 2: Hey, I show up with these narcolepsy conferences and women
Speaker 2: are just falling for me.
Speaker 1: Man, it's crazy, it's crazy. But always catch him. Hey, ladies,
Speaker 1: I will always catch you.
Speaker 2: Let us let us go to break and go to break.
Speaker 1: And we are black. Okay. So Jess is freaking out right,
Speaker 1: She's in the hotel room's freaking out and uh call CEC.
Speaker 2: She's so smart, by the way, she wrote a letter
Speaker 2: to herself in the future in case she does kind
Speaker 2: of get pulled in by Ryan goes in you yeah,
Speaker 2: and she knows. She goes into her friend's purse to
Speaker 2: hide the letter. Yes, which is also because you could
Speaker 2: have just like brought the letter with her, right, but
Speaker 2: she needs Jesse Jesse, she needs Ceci, I think, to
Speaker 2: like yell it at her, like she wants to hear
Speaker 2: it with some grit, but Cec is like not on board,
Speaker 2: so she just reads it like dry and straight and
Speaker 2: annoyed because she's just like, this is ridiculous. If you
Speaker 2: like this boy, like just figure this out. But then
Speaker 2: you hear the hysterical letter that she's readen to herself,
Speaker 2: very mean to herself.
Speaker 1: There's no one respects a queen that sleeps with you said.
Speaker 2: Well, pay my face, white man, have me now.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, at the are uh coach you know he's drunk.
Speaker 1: He says that he's just teaching health and you know,
Speaker 1: the one of the teachers there is little offended by that,
Speaker 1: just like it's a big deal. What's going to be
Speaker 1: your plan? What's going to be your lesson plan? He says.
Speaker 1: He says he's gonna lie and tell them that condoms
Speaker 1: feel good. And I don't know, maybe tell him about
Speaker 1: Magic Johnson, about Kobe Bryant.
Speaker 2: Crazy.
Speaker 1: I could damon made that up for sure, it was
Speaker 1: not scripted. I can tell you two moments in this
Speaker 1: episode maybe even three that we made up and I
Speaker 1: know fact Damon.
Speaker 2: Made that okay, And the other one was I said
Speaker 2: this last episode we recorded there was I feel like
Speaker 2: you talking about rappers lying. I felt like you made
Speaker 2: that up. I watched it. I was like, that's just
Speaker 2: a little more. We got a pocket.
Speaker 1: Because I'm measuring the bottle, it says nine inches, like
Speaker 1: they just rappers be lying. Oh no, oh no, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Nick is teaching Schmidt is a little bit sergeant.
Speaker 2: Of a teacher. By the way, did you notice this, like, no,
Speaker 2: do it ten times?
Speaker 1: Yeah? He is? Which is? Which is?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: I guess for Nick that's a it's a big moment
Speaker 1: for him. He gets to like do something and be
Speaker 1: in charge and like, actually, you know, help move push
Speaker 1: the needle forward, and the needle in this case happens
Speaker 1: to just be doing laundry. But you know he's teaching
Speaker 1: Winston at the same time. You know, you start with
Speaker 1: the first line on the ruler, which was the first
Speaker 1: time I knew that as a human being. It was
Speaker 1: a little morning. I've always been giving myself that extra centimeter.
Speaker 1: And so he's like taking the the soap and he
Speaker 1: pours it out, and then finally when Schmidt gets it right,
Speaker 1: he pours out again. He's like, but I got it right.
Speaker 1: He's like, now do it ten times. I know he's
Speaker 1: so so far, I'm imagining what the floor looks like.
Speaker 1: It's just covered in so it's.
Speaker 2: Just a mess. No one's cleaning that up. And the
Speaker 2: other thing that they mentioned that made me laugh because
Speaker 2: I will just like to say for my level of
Speaker 2: laundry doing, I am I am at second this level.
Speaker 2: Because when he talks about bleach and permanent press and
Speaker 2: he's like, you don't need to worry about that, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I've never used bleach or I've never
Speaker 2: done the permanent press cycle. I don't even know what.
Speaker 1: I never used bleach. No, so your whites just stay white? Yes,
Speaker 1: oh you're always wearing black.
Speaker 2: True, I don't have the white at I gave that
Speaker 2: one to you for a reason. I would never be
Speaker 2: able to clean it.
Speaker 1: No, but bleaches bleaches.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's good for you, but I
Speaker 1: know it definitely. I've been using bleach my whole life.
Speaker 1: Effect I've accidentally bleached things that shouldn't be shouldn't have
Speaker 1: been bleeding.
Speaker 2: That's my fear. My fear is to mess up with
Speaker 2: bleach because there's no correcting that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, scared, well, you're super rich. Could just go buy
Speaker 1: a new, you know, set.
Speaker 2: Of just that wasteful life to be like I bleached
Speaker 2: it by your trash.
Speaker 1: Now, I don't give a more.
Speaker 2: That's not how I roll it all, no bleach because
Speaker 2: I don't know how to do it, and I'm scared.
Speaker 1: Okay, and then that's so stupid.
Speaker 2: You know, you have to say this part. I can't
Speaker 2: say it.
Speaker 1: Which part when he comes he comes back with his sheets.
Speaker 1: He comes back with the sheets. I can't. It's the
Speaker 1: only way he can relax is self pleasure sheets of
Speaker 1: the wash and he runs the cycle and shockingly, he
Speaker 1: just does it smoothly. Wow, he did it by himself.
Speaker 2: He did it. He got of skilled, which is weird
Speaker 2: because I guess he just gets everything like dry cleaned
Speaker 2: and laundered or something, because he is the most like germaphobic,
Speaker 2: like snappy dresser in the loft.
Speaker 1: But even his sheets, even as sheets.
Speaker 2: I guess some people, you know, like living in New York,
Speaker 2: you have to just like walk your laundry down to
Speaker 2: the laundry bat or you could take it to the
Speaker 2: dry cleaners.
Speaker 1: Remember Thanksgiving episode? Yeah, didn't Schmid put a turkey?
Speaker 2: Was it a dryer?
Speaker 1: Yeah? He knew how to use the dryer just fine.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of weird things about Schmid not knowing
Speaker 2: actually how to do laundry that it feels strange. I
Speaker 2: feel like there's been a lot. I feel like the
Speaker 2: fans are going to really help us out on this
Speaker 2: because I feel like there's been quite a few episodes
Speaker 2: where they talk about laundry and clothes in the dryer
Speaker 2: and stuff like that, So I feel like fans help
Speaker 2: us out. Does this match up with all of the
Speaker 2: other Schmitty moments in this show? Because it feels weird? Yeah,
Speaker 2: it feels weird. We are back at the conference. Ryan
Speaker 2: tells Jess she's been avoiding it for weeks of school
Speaker 2: and he was hoping to use this conference as like
Speaker 2: a way to get to know each other, which, of
Speaker 2: course she's like, oh my god. Then they all of
Speaker 2: a sudden, there's like a scream because Coach is on
Speaker 2: top of the lifeguard check drunk and about to like
Speaker 2: backflip into the pool or something insane.
Speaker 1: He's about to do something.
Speaker 2: He is about to do something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's given this whole speech and then we
Speaker 1: cut to Schmidt, so he feels like a new man.
Speaker 1: Winston is trying to measure the width of his smile,
Speaker 1: and at the very end Nick Nick is still trying
Speaker 1: to get the group to go out and drink. He
Speaker 1: wants to go to a bar crawl and he's like, okay, cool, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know we're all admitting okay, cool. You know I
Speaker 1: can't never, I can't say February. You know, I can't
Speaker 1: say the alphabet without singing. And I never knew how
Speaker 1: to love. All right, let's go. And then the guys
Speaker 1: are like, whoa what, that's heavy, dude, Let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: And then he goes, what are we gonna do? Just
Speaker 1: sit around all night, drink wine, talk about love, And
Speaker 1: that's exactly what they do.
Speaker 2: I built one of those tents before.
Speaker 1: As a grown up or as a kid.
Speaker 2: As a grown up. Oh boy, I've built one of
Speaker 2: those tents before. It was like a really romantic date,
Speaker 2: built like a little tent and put like the movie
Speaker 2: in there and snacks and it was like, yeah, it
Speaker 2: was like being a little kid. It was really fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's nice. So you do it outside orde inside.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about doing like a you know, doing
Speaker 1: like a tent situation and going camping with Lily, but
Speaker 1: in the backyard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do that. That's so fun. That's super sweet. Because
Speaker 2: then after like three hours of it, when she's like, okay,
Speaker 2: I like my bed. Now you're like, great, we go inside.
Speaker 2: We're gonna go inside and in the morning where she
Speaker 2: wants to go out there and play her tent, it's there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, clean all the little dirty bugs off of you,
Speaker 1: and then we'll get to go.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 1: Oh boy.
Speaker 2: And they're singing, oh I don't know what.
Speaker 1: Love is, which is a great song, which is a
Speaker 1: song that I definitely know all the words too. Uh.
Speaker 1: Now Jess is now back at back at the ranch.
Speaker 1: Jess is trying to save the day. I guess. She
Speaker 1: goes up on the roof and she's talking to coach.
Speaker 1: He's like, what is going on? You know, he's letting
Speaker 1: the folks know, like, I'm drunk, I'm wasted, I'm not
Speaker 1: to do a backflip right into the pool. And that's
Speaker 1: when mister hero, mister goes in you he pops up,
Speaker 1: he pops up on the roof as well, you know,
Speaker 1: and he's, you know, he's like he's breaking it down
Speaker 1: for coach, like, hey man, I get it, I get it.
Speaker 1: Teaching it scary. I'm afraid. I'm afraid. This is my
Speaker 1: first time. I'm scared too, you know. But he recognizes
Speaker 1: how important that job is. And you know, Jess, you know,
Speaker 1: she says that coach is like, She's like, dude, who's
Speaker 1: better to tell kids about lamydia than you? Yeah? He's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that is mate, I sound like something I could be
Speaker 1: good at. And then as he's saying that, he just
Speaker 1: goes flying into the pool. He falls into the pool,
Speaker 1: which could have ended poorly because I've seen these videos.
Speaker 1: If people like fall, they're they're they're they're trying to
Speaker 1: commit to jumping off the roof into a pool, and
Speaker 1: then they halfway commit, and by halfway committing, they like
Speaker 1: just kind of fall.
Speaker 2: It's so scary and so risky. So many people have
Speaker 2: been seriously hurt.
Speaker 1: Yeah, people probably died doing this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure. I was watching and I was like,
Speaker 2: this feels very scary for real. That was, for sure
Speaker 2: a very talented sutman who did that sunt dude, I
Speaker 2: tried that at home, and.
Speaker 1: I love that. Ryan jumps in and he does it
Speaker 1: like like with the most perfect.
Speaker 2: Dives, Olympic level diving, Like, please don't do something heroic,
Speaker 2: Please don't do something heroic. And he does, and he
Speaker 2: saves him like a baby and carries him out of
Speaker 2: the water. Oh my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Right there, that's definitely something Glenn Powell would do. So
Speaker 1: now we're back at the Loft and the Poison. Now
Speaker 1: they swish songs. Now they're singing Lano Richie. Hello, anyway, Nick,
Speaker 1: you know what that video is crazy? I just somebody
Speaker 1: posted a video. Somebody posted how how troublesome that video
Speaker 1: actually was video? He's stalking a blind girl in school?
Speaker 1: M hm, And Lionel Richie was in somebody's high school.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a lot of girl.
Speaker 1: Like just popping up behind them by her locker Like,
Speaker 1: but what how First of all, you teach your age.
Speaker 1: At least he had teacher teacher age face. You know,
Speaker 1: I don't know how old he was back in the day,
Speaker 1: but he had that mustache that said, I am somebody
Speaker 1: in slacks.
Speaker 2: Slacks. It's all very strange. Lionel, you want to talk
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 1: Come on the pod, Linel. His first name is my
Speaker 1: middle name, and I don't know how I feel about that.
Speaker 2: Is your middle name of Lionel?
Speaker 1: Yes it is.
Speaker 2: It's a cute middle name than that that all men
Speaker 2: want to hear. Middle name is cute.
Speaker 1: It's a very cute and average middle name.
Speaker 2: Lilight all right. Then leads on a whole spiral. Nick
Speaker 2: questions where he can't find anyone. Winston tells him you
Speaker 2: don't find diamonds underground, that Nick needs to value himself,
Speaker 2: and then Whinston starts opening up.
Speaker 1: That's right. You know, he's worried about being a cop,
Speaker 1: you know, like if he sees something really bad, you know,
Speaker 1: and then he's it going to change him. You know.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2: That's emotion sharing. They're in the same gria.
Speaker 1: Guess what, yeah, man, And then just like women, they
Speaker 1: turn it into an orgy.
Speaker 2: No, I can't wait to just read the level of
Speaker 2: like ferocity. The women are going to come to defend
Speaker 2: the truth.
Speaker 1: They're not going to women aren't going to just admit that.
Speaker 1: That's how freaky they get at times. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: they always do it.
Speaker 2: It's not a girls' night.
Speaker 1: It's called lying. It's saying, hey, we're having a girl's night,
Speaker 1: but in fact you're bringing over the troops.
Speaker 2: No, this is you, like way back when you're a
Speaker 2: teenager reading some like weird tumblr fan fiction of something,
Speaker 2: and then you just being like this has got to
Speaker 2: be true, and it's just stayed in like this weird
Speaker 2: part of your brain that has made like that that
Speaker 2: fiction fact and it's just not Anna.
Speaker 1: Well, we get off this call. I got news for you.
Speaker 1: I got news for you. I'm not gonna let the
Speaker 1: fans know about it, but it happens.
Speaker 2: Don't sell me any videos, please, I got all the
Speaker 2: videos links website that shows you all the videos. No,
Speaker 2: thank you. I don't need to see a male produced
Speaker 2: bizarro fantasy to just the real women do not doing
Speaker 2: their real life.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm trying to tell you, but you don't want
Speaker 1: to listen. You don't want to listen.
Speaker 2: Oh this moment, Ryan and Ess are drinking mini bar
Speaker 2: bottles and they're bonding and it's so sweet and wonderful.
Speaker 4: Coaches asleep and so they have this perfect moment apologizes
Speaker 4: and that Ryan tells like basically the nail on the coffin,
Speaker 4: you know, of like just winning this woman's heart.
Speaker 2: Which is that he taught his sister, who was crippling dyslexia,
Speaker 2: how to read.
Speaker 1: Oh god, she can't handle it.
Speaker 2: She can't handle it. It's like kryptonite. So she comes clean.
Speaker 2: She says, I have a big, stupid crush on you,
Speaker 2: and just as those words come out of her mouth, coach, coach.
Speaker 1: Coach, he needs he needs a puke bucket.
Speaker 2: He needs a puke bucket. He's crying. He's a mess,
Speaker 2: and she says, I'll take care of it. And she
Speaker 2: kicks Ryan out of the room and she's just she's
Speaker 2: now crying and Coach is also crying.
Speaker 1: It's a mess. It's a big mess. It's a big mess.
Speaker 1: Now the next day, you know, just ask Ryan if
Speaker 1: he could just kind of strike that from the record,
Speaker 1: you know, all that stuff she said the night before,
Speaker 1: just just forget about it. And Ryan's he's curious. Well,
Speaker 1: Ryan asked if she's curious to know how he actually
Speaker 1: feels about her. And then he tell just what does speech?
Speaker 1: What am at work? I can't stop focusing on you
Speaker 1: because you my love.
Speaker 2: I love you.
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving with you.
Speaker 2: Then and then you're so good at accents. That was
Speaker 2: a wild one.
Speaker 1: That was pretty that was pretty good. It's good that
Speaker 1: it's pretty good.
Speaker 2: Jess's all right, it's all right.
Speaker 1: So then they just just, first of all problematic, just
Speaker 1: just grabs him and kiss him. You don't do that.
Speaker 1: You don't just put your mouth on somebody's mouths.
Speaker 2: He just said, like all he does is like think
Speaker 2: about her and wants to be with her. I feel
Speaker 2: like that was a pretty clear green light.
Speaker 1: Nope, nope, nope, it's twenty twenty five. You got to
Speaker 1: you got to paperwork. You gotta get you gotta sign
Speaker 1: that agreement.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 1: Yeah, straight, all the romance out of it. First consent, queen,
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 2: So yes, they have a little smooch.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm what Coach interrupts, Yeah, of course, of course
Speaker 1: he does, and uh yeah, and then they go off
Speaker 1: into their own separate ways.
Speaker 2: They go the separate ways, he says. See. After Thanksgiving,
Speaker 2: Jess and Coach returned to the loft, and she wonders
Speaker 2: why it smells like Xangria. Coach lets the boys know
Speaker 2: that Jess had that moment with Ryan. She goes into
Speaker 2: her bedroom lays there is like what now because he
Speaker 2: technically works for her, She's in a little spiral. She
Speaker 2: goes to cover her head with the blanket that Schmidt
Speaker 2: shrunk in the dryer.
Speaker 1: He's shrunk it in the dryer, so maybe he can't
Speaker 1: use he can use the washing machine, maybe he can't.
Speaker 2: Use the dryer totally for turkeys.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll be right back, and we are back, very
Speaker 1: very funny episode. There give us.
Speaker 2: We're only going to do one mess around question.
Speaker 1: Yeah, one mess around one.
Speaker 2: Because let me tell you what question two is, and
Speaker 2: I'm not doing it. Question two is, with your respect
Speaker 2: to friends, what do your guys and girls and nights
Speaker 2: look like? We're not doing it. We've talked too much
Speaker 2: about what girls and guys knights look like or what
Speaker 2: they don't look like. We're putting that one on ice.
Speaker 2: So we're just gonna do the first question, which is
Speaker 2: is there something silly or very easy to do? I
Speaker 2: guess for most people that you don't know how.
Speaker 1: To do something silly or very easy that you don't
Speaker 1: know how to do. There's probably a lot of things
Speaker 1: that I don't know how to do. Actually, you know,
Speaker 1: I used to do my taxes, obviously, but myself when
Speaker 1: I was first first working, like no, like I didn't
Speaker 1: take it to like a place like an H and
Speaker 1: R Block.
Speaker 2: Or something I did. I was like, the queen of
Speaker 2: H and R Block was like, hello.
Speaker 1: Well, if we learned how to do our taxes in
Speaker 1: high school, like they had a class. Yeah, so they
Speaker 1: taught us how to do them. So I remember like
Speaker 1: a couple of years doing my own taxes. And then
Speaker 1: when I discovered like the power of like H and
Speaker 1: R Block and stuff like that, I was like, let
Speaker 1: me do it.
Speaker 2: By the way, H and R Block, you should, you
Speaker 2: should sponsor us. We're doing a lot of we're letting
Speaker 2: you know right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah you know. But now you know, I have a
Speaker 1: friend who's an accountant, and then I you know, we
Speaker 1: have business managers and stuff like that. That. But because
Speaker 1: I know how to do it, I still monitor everything sure,
Speaker 1: and you know, just kind of checks and balances and
Speaker 1: making sure everything's all good.
Speaker 2: Okay, So what's something silly you don't know how to do.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to do. I don't know how
Speaker 1: to love what.
Speaker 3: I love this.
Speaker 2: I'll get this, Angria. I'll tell you my weird one.
Speaker 2: It's not that weird, I guess, but I wish I
Speaker 2: knew how to sew.
Speaker 1: That's not weird or silly. That's I don't know how
Speaker 1: to sew.
Speaker 2: But most people do know how to do a stitch
Speaker 2: or thread the thing and do the way I can't
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say most people. I would say most older
Speaker 1: people who had to do it. You don't have to
Speaker 1: do it now, So it's like, I.
Speaker 2: Don't know, I feel like it's handy. There's so many
Speaker 2: times where I wish I could have like sewn up,
Speaker 2: like I've like ripped the part of a dress or
Speaker 2: done something, and to go and to pay someone to
Speaker 2: do it ever, seems so silly. If I just knew
Speaker 2: how to use like like just a sewing machine, I
Speaker 2: feel it could be great.
Speaker 1: I think I don't know. For me, I think it's
Speaker 1: probably like coding.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's a looking silly or easy. That's not
Speaker 2: like ruler level or like laundry level, Like you inventing
Speaker 2: the new app to make you a billionaire is not.
Speaker 1: Oh how about this? How about this? I don't know
Speaker 1: how to I don't know how to play chess. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know how to play poker,
Speaker 1: and I don't know how to gamble, meaning like people
Speaker 1: bet on games and these all these things with parlays
Speaker 1: and spreads, and I don't know what any of that
Speaker 1: stuff means me either. Yeah, so that's something that people
Speaker 1: do often. I just don't know how to do it.
Speaker 1: Chess is one of those things that I feel like
Speaker 1: everybody knows how to do except for me. I never
Speaker 1: I was never taught when I was a kid.
Speaker 2: Do you know how to sew.
Speaker 1: A little bit?
Speaker 2: Okay, So next time I see you, you can teach chess.
Speaker 2: Play chess. Yeah, and you can help me sew a stitch.
Speaker 1: That that that that works.
Speaker 2: We'll be involved, and then we'll talk about learning to love.
Speaker 1: Lam We got to learn how to love y'all.
Speaker 2: Lamourne Lionel. I'll be there for you.
Speaker 1: Hell well, folks, thank you for tuning in. That was
Speaker 1: a great show, a great episode. We've got so we've
Speaker 1: got some We've got some action items here. One. Hannah
Speaker 1: has to teach me how to play chess. I have
Speaker 1: to teach charge so and you all have to tell
Speaker 1: us all about your your girl's night.
Speaker 2: Orgies, ladies, please educate this man.
Speaker 1: I'm saying. I know it doesn't happen majority of the time,
Speaker 1: But I'm saying is that it does happen. You said
Speaker 1: it's never happened.
Speaker 2: It's never happened in human history that women are like,
Speaker 2: we finally are alone. We're gonna have a girl's night.
Speaker 2: Let's invite in a bunch of men.
Speaker 1: Never, yep, it's called for that purpose. Never it's called back.
Speaker 1: It's called bachelorette parties.
Speaker 2: That's not a girl's night. That's friend girls.
Speaker 1: That's definitely a girl's name girls night. That's definitely a
Speaker 1: girl's night. Is the bachelorette party?
Speaker 2: No, please help me. The next loft meeting is going
Speaker 2: to be crazy. Okay, follow us on ig at the
Speaker 2: mess Around Pod. You can get some of that merch.
Speaker 2: Maybe a white hat. We still have some at the
Speaker 2: mess around pod dot com. Send all your thoughts and
Speaker 2: agreements with me to theemess around Pod at gmail dot
Speaker 2: com and you can let lamoar know how wrong he is.
Speaker 1: Well, I am correct. I love you guys, right, Please
Speaker 1: please prove me right.
Speaker 2: That was the mess around In iHeartMedia Production.
Speaker 1: Our executive producer is Joel Monique, Our senior producer is
Speaker 1: Abu Zafar Bei Wang provided engineering and editing services.
Speaker 2: Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron.
Speaker 2: Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson,
Speaker 2: Catch you Next time.
Speaker 3: Bye,