1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah hart Hunger. 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,800 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:33,199 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,839 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode forty six. We'll be 11 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 1: interviewing Parita Kutupan about surviving and thriving in the corporate world, 12 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,480 Speaker 1: especially with a new baby. Very excited to hear about 13 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,479 Speaker 1: that about her life. So that segment will be coming 14 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: up in a bit, but first let's talk about somebody else. 15 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 1: So it's surviving and thriving in the world of work 16 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: with a new baby. How's it going, Sarah, I don't 17 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 1: know about thriving. Surviving. Surviving is happening. I'm taking it 18 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 1: one day at a time. Do you have you ever 19 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: gotten like so behind that you just feel paralyzed by 20 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:11,959 Speaker 1: the behind? This or is it just me I've gotten there? Yeah? No, 21 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 1: I mean you just feel sort of frantic, like you 22 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 1: know there's yeah, it's not that you don't you know 23 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:20,120 Speaker 1: there's stuff that you haven't done, but you don't even 24 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 1: know what that stuff is that you haven't done right exactly. 25 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 1: You get to like this, it's like you feel like you. 26 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,399 Speaker 1: For me, it feels like I fill in some sort 27 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 1: of hole and like my whole like planning system is 28 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: on the outside. And I can't say it was it 29 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:33,679 Speaker 1: was bad. I got to that space about a week ago, 30 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:37,160 Speaker 1: and I'm actually feeling a million times better now. My 31 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: strategy was that I was on call last weekend, and 32 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: I had asked ar Nanni ahead of time if she 33 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 1: could just be there the entire weekend so that I 34 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 1: could focus sort of my my when I'm gonna call. 35 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: It doesn't take the full day, but I wanted both 36 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 1: full days to catch up both with work and home stuff. 37 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: And now it's a week later, and I feel a 38 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: million times better because at least I kind of know 39 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 1: what I didn't know. You know, it was like mildly disastrous, 40 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: but honestly it was almost like it was really bad. 41 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: So I guess a lesson to myself is when I 42 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,920 Speaker 1: find myself getting to that point, I need to build 43 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,399 Speaker 1: in some ketchup time, Like it's hard to get out 44 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: without a clear, delineated child free window cochup time. And 45 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: what had led to the being so behind, Well that's 46 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,919 Speaker 1: this whole you know, season that we're in right that 47 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: I'm in right now. It really has a lot to do. 48 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 1: It's just being up all night so that I'm losing 49 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:33,919 Speaker 1: a lot of my sort of normal morning ketchup and 50 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: the pumping, which I'm still doing at five in the morning. 51 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 1: I've talked about it before, but I find it really 52 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,359 Speaker 1: hard to work when I'm pumping. So it's really kind 53 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,960 Speaker 1: of like just hours going by that I'm pretty I 54 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,519 Speaker 1: can read, eat a little bit, but just those hours 55 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: add up and I, you know, my previous balance worked, 56 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: But when all of a sudden I take the pumping 57 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:55,399 Speaker 1: time away, it's sort of snowballs. And that includes at work. 58 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,639 Speaker 1: So normally during the course of my day, I work 59 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: really hard to get my pace note's done as I'm 60 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 1: seeing the patients. And this takes some really focused kind 61 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: of like balls to the walls, like fast hyping, fast 62 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: thinking kind of pushed throughout the day because you know, 63 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,359 Speaker 1: they really do try to have us see as many 64 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:16,079 Speaker 1: patients as we feasibly can. So you know, since now 65 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: I'm interrupting that with three pumps during that time period, 66 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 1: I just can't do it. So then that builds up, 67 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,519 Speaker 1: so then I'm doing charts during the time that I 68 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: would normally do life maintenance. So basically everything kind of snowballs, 69 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 1: and I know it's all going to get a million 70 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 1: times better once the pumping is out of the equation, 71 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: and you know, that's temporary, so I'm all good with it, 72 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: especially thinking, well, if it means that you know, my 73 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: days off, I need to kind of spend a few 74 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: hours of dedicated catch up time for the next you know, 75 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 1: a few weeks to months, then that that works out. Yeah. No, 76 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 1: I've had I definitely have viewed weekends sometimes as the 77 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 1: catch up spot if I've gotten really behind through a 78 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: bunch of you know, either if it's travel or if 79 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: it's kid related stuff, and say, okay, I need a 80 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 1: couple hours on the weekend. I've also wound up using 81 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:07,200 Speaker 1: sometimes when I'm in hotel rooms, and this is just 82 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 1: a function of like if there's a time change. For instance, 83 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 1: I tend to wake up at like four am when 84 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: I'm in the West Coast. Oh, I love early. I 85 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:19,160 Speaker 1: think that's like my most productive I mean, right now, 86 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 1: I just am having trouble with that because the nights 87 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: are so bad that I can't. But I agree with you. 88 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 1: That's if I need to like crank out a presentation 89 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,720 Speaker 1: or something, it's amazing what you can get done. But 90 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,360 Speaker 1: between like four and six, if it's in the right mood, 91 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 1: it's totally true. And so I'll be like, oh gosh, 92 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 1: I'm days weeks behind on email or something. And then 93 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,280 Speaker 1: I'm in on the West Coast, I wake up at 94 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: four on my own because it feels like seven am, 95 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,719 Speaker 1: and then you know, I'm not scheduled for my speech 96 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,039 Speaker 1: until let's say ten thirty or something like, you know, 97 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 1: there's five hours. This is a great tip for the 98 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,479 Speaker 1: East Coasters. Only fly to the West Coast beach at lag. 99 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: You'll pay the piper eventually, but for that moment you 100 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: are on and yeah, no, so I'll work in hotel room. 101 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,039 Speaker 1: And it's true. It's amazing what you can get caught 102 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:05,280 Speaker 1: up on when you have no distractions, like you're just 103 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: plowing through, and so I think what often happens with, 104 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: you know, people who are parents of small children, like, oh, well, 105 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,799 Speaker 1: I've got to still spend this time with the kids, 106 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 1: and then you're not giving them your full attention, and 107 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: you're not giving the work your full attention because you're 108 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 1: dealing with the kids. Yes, I agree, it's so much 109 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,280 Speaker 1: better to just make a clear delineation where you're like, no, 110 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,080 Speaker 1: I'm going to the office, I'm fully focused, because then 111 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: when I get home, I'm not like distraught and feeling like, 112 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 1: oh my god, my phone is pinging. I can't. So 113 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,840 Speaker 1: I totally agree it's like better to have them kept 114 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 1: a bit separate if possible when you get like this 115 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 1: exactly cool. Well, I'm excited to hear what our guest 116 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: has to say about this topic, because I'm sure she 117 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: has the kind of work that tends to bleed over 118 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,839 Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, so we'll hear about that. Onto the 119 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: interview segment. Well, Sarah and I are delighted to welcome 120 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,840 Speaker 1: Parita Kuta con to the program. Parita, how about you 121 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:59,679 Speaker 1: introduce yourself for our listeners. Sure, thank you, Sarah and Laura. 122 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: My name is Parita. Could have Haan and I am 123 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:09,279 Speaker 1: a full time working mom. I work in the corporate environment, 124 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 1: if you will. And I am a wife to a 125 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:16,279 Speaker 1: second year radiology resident, Vishnu. I am mom to Cayden, 126 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: my adorable ten month old baby boy. I also have 127 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: a blog on the side that I've had for about 128 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: seven years now. It's called Mian or Shukby. And in 129 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:30,120 Speaker 1: my spare time quote unquote spare I love to read, 130 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,599 Speaker 1: watch TV, catch up with family and friends, go shopping 131 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: whenever I can, but of course those things are far 132 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: and few between these days. But still like to have 133 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 1: fun as a mom. Yeah. And so how long have 134 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 1: you been back at work now with your ten month old? Yep, 135 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: so I've been back at work now about six months, Okay. 136 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:55,039 Speaker 1: And did you make any changes in your work life 137 00:06:55,040 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: as a result of having a kid. I did so. 138 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:05,480 Speaker 1: Before going on maternity leave and having Cayden, I did. 139 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,840 Speaker 1: I sat down with my boss and had a conversation 140 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: about what my schedule could look like when I went 141 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: back to work, and we just talked about different options 142 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 1: and we came up with sort of an alternative schedule 143 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 1: where I'm still working full time, but my week looks 144 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:24,800 Speaker 1: a little bit different than it did before in terms 145 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: of the days that I work. So right now I 146 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: work for ten hour days, so still getting my quote 147 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,520 Speaker 1: unquote forty hours in a week, but I work for 148 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,880 Speaker 1: ten hour days and then I have Fridays off. Wow, 149 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,679 Speaker 1: And why did you think that would be the most 150 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: sort of family or you know, the best schedule for 151 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,520 Speaker 1: you at this stage of your life. Yeah, So I 152 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 1: think for me going back to work, I just didn't 153 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 1: know what to expect. Caiden was about four months at 154 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 1: the time when I went back, and I just didn't 155 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 1: know what to expect. So I wanted a day aside 156 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 1: from Saturday and Sunday. And I'll get to that in 157 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 1: a in it, but I just wanted a day where 158 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 1: I could get everything done that I possibly could sow 159 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 1: our grocery shopping, some laundry, some food prep. I just 160 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 1: needed that day to get that done. Otherwise, by the 161 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,280 Speaker 1: time you know, you get home from work and put 162 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 1: the baby to bed and sit down and eat your 163 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 1: dinner and kind of ramp down, there's no time for 164 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: any of that stuff. So I wanted that day to 165 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 1: be able to get all that done. And I say 166 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 1: that Saturday and Sunday don't always count is because my 167 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:28,680 Speaker 1: husband is a resident, a medical resident, and his schedule varies, 168 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 1: and so I can't really count on the weekends to 169 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,720 Speaker 1: be able to get that stuff done in like an 170 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:36,320 Speaker 1: effective and efficient manner. Well, I definitely want some more 171 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,959 Speaker 1: career background stuff from you, because I feel like we 172 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: jumped into the middle and I want our listeners to know. 173 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 1: But I was also going to comment, I hope that 174 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: you're not just doing laundry on that day, because that's 175 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 1: something that can be outsourced versus time for you to 176 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,839 Speaker 1: relax cannot be outsourced. So I'm hoping that you're also 177 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 1: spending that time doing things that replenish you. Is that true? Absolutely? Yeah, 178 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,040 Speaker 1: And I think it's just about, you know, kind of 179 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,560 Speaker 1: looking at the week So for example, if I know 180 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,200 Speaker 1: Vishnu has that Saturday offer, he's going to be home 181 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 1: on the weekend, I will use Friday to you know, 182 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: either go get my nails done, or if my sister's free, 183 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 1: I'll hang out with her or just read a book 184 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 1: and relax at home a little bit. But if I 185 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,960 Speaker 1: know that the weekend, you know, coming up is going 186 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 1: to be a path one that will sort of require 187 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 1: a lot of time of mine with Cayden and not 188 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,560 Speaker 1: a lot of free time. Then I do like to 189 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:27,440 Speaker 1: use that Friday to just get things done. That makes sense, Yeah, 190 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,599 Speaker 1: all right, So look back up and tell us a 191 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,560 Speaker 1: little bit out of your career about your career, because 192 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:34,560 Speaker 1: we didn't get any of that. We just we know 193 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,680 Speaker 1: about your schedule, but we don't jump right career journey, 194 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: all right, Kriza, tell us about it. Sure. So I've 195 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 1: always been in the corporate world, so I've always sort 196 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:48,600 Speaker 1: of worked for companies, if you will. And so I 197 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:53,000 Speaker 1: graduated undergrad so many years ago with a degree in finance, 198 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 1: and out of college I took a job with a 199 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 1: professional services firm in their advisory practice. So really what 200 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: that what that means is that I reviewed companies processes 201 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,200 Speaker 1: and procedures to ensure that like a certain level of 202 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: compliance was met with regards to their finances and operations. 203 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 1: So essentially I was a consultant. I really quickly about 204 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:17,320 Speaker 1: I would say, six months into that job, realized that 205 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 1: that career wasn't necessarily for me. So I applied to 206 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,439 Speaker 1: business school. And that was something that I always sort 207 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,040 Speaker 1: of had in the back of my head coming out 208 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,079 Speaker 1: of college, is that eventually I want to go back 209 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,760 Speaker 1: and get my MBA. So I applied at that time 210 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 1: and luckily I was accepted to Georgia Tech. And it 211 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:35,320 Speaker 1: was during this time that I sort of made a 212 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:39,240 Speaker 1: career transition still corporate into sort of the world of HR, 213 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 1: and I interned at a Fortune five hundred company in 214 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 1: their HR Leadership Development program. At the end of the program, 215 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: I was made a full time offer for post graduation 216 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 1: a post graduation role. I took the job ended up 217 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 1: moving around the country. It was a wonderful experience for 218 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,440 Speaker 1: me in my mid mid twenties. I lived in Arizona 219 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,440 Speaker 1: for eight months, Massachusetts for eight months, in Florida for 220 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 1: eight months, and was really exposed to several different aspects 221 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 1: of human resources, HR, human resources and the company as 222 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,960 Speaker 1: a whole. So the funny thing is, at the end 223 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 1: of the program, you typically get placed into a permanent role, 224 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,680 Speaker 1: but it didn't quite work that way for me because 225 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 1: I was engaged at the time and my hobby to 226 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 1: b Vishnu was in medical school in South Florida. And 227 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 1: when we got married that June, and shortly thereafter, I 228 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,880 Speaker 1: moved down to Florida and that's when I started working 229 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:35,000 Speaker 1: for my current company. And my current company is also 230 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,960 Speaker 1: a professional services firm in the accounting industry, and I 231 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 1: started about six years ago, been they're almost six years 232 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: as it's called a Global People and Culture sort of 233 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,839 Speaker 1: our team. I was a project coordinator working on different 234 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:52,319 Speaker 1: projects and tasks. I was then promoted a project manager 235 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 1: where I began leading some of our projects, and then 236 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:59,199 Speaker 1: currently I'm a senior project manager in the Global People 237 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,560 Speaker 1: and Culture space. And in terms of what I actually do, 238 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:05,319 Speaker 1: I work with people and culture leaders from around the 239 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:08,440 Speaker 1: world to support their efforts in the HR space. So 240 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: we have people all over the world. On a given day, 241 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 1: I could be talking to somebody in Greece, India, China, 242 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 1: I mean, you name it, and where. We're talking to 243 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 1: these people and really helping them shape their HR People 244 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,320 Speaker 1: and Culture strategy and sharing what we do with them. 245 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,080 Speaker 1: We answer, you know, we work on things like diversity 246 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 1: and inclusion, which is very near and dear to my heart, 247 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 1: answer questions, connect people, you know, help build our network. 248 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 1: And I just think, yeah, and it's just I love 249 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:37,320 Speaker 1: my job because no two days are the same, and 250 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,679 Speaker 1: I get to communicate with people around the world and 251 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,840 Speaker 1: learn about different cultures and different corporate environments if you 252 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,440 Speaker 1: will as well. That is fascinating. Has learning about those 253 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: different cultures influenced I don't know how you see working 254 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,920 Speaker 1: in America, especially as a parent, like differences and leave 255 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,199 Speaker 1: policies or just work life structures or that kind of 256 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,400 Speaker 1: a thing. Absolutely. So it's funny because some times you 257 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,959 Speaker 1: won't know that somebody is on maternity leave, let's say 258 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 1: in our firm in Australia or Sweden or what have you, 259 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 1: and you'll get you an email back an out of 260 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,600 Speaker 1: office and it'll say you know, on leave until and 261 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 1: it's like a year later, and I just I'm like, oh, 262 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,200 Speaker 1: I wish that you would catch up with that. I 263 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:23,000 Speaker 1: was lucky my company gave me twelve weeks of paid 264 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 1: leave and then I took an additional about I would 265 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:30,440 Speaker 1: say it was like five to six weeks unpaid just 266 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 1: to get me to that four month mark with Cayden. 267 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 1: That is awesome. Yeah, And so you're scheduled. I mean, 268 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 1: despite the fact that you're working with people all over 269 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,200 Speaker 1: the globe, it sounds like you have some flexibility and 270 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:44,079 Speaker 1: how you've sort of set your hours. Can you talk 271 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 1: about how you get those forty hours in in the 272 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,320 Speaker 1: course of the week. You said four ten hour days, 273 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:52,199 Speaker 1: but it's not like straight eight to six, right, No, no, no, no. 274 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 1: So I typically am in the office by seven forty 275 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 1: five eight, and then I work in the office from 276 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 1: about eight to four, and then I come home and 277 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,439 Speaker 1: then my caid in time, if you will, is from 278 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:05,959 Speaker 1: the time I pick him up at daycare, which is 279 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,679 Speaker 1: around four thirty t when he goes to sleep around six. 280 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:12,559 Speaker 1: Then you know, later in the evening around you know, 281 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:15,440 Speaker 1: eight eight thirty, I log back on and finish up 282 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,720 Speaker 1: work for an hour or two. So I get the 283 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 1: hours in that way. And I'm also flexible in that 284 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 1: we do send Kaid in the daycare most Friday, so 285 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: if I do need to work on something, or there's 286 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,040 Speaker 1: a special call that I need to be on or 287 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: a meeting, then I'm very flexible about that as well. 288 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 1: So I don't I don't, you know, live and breathe 289 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,240 Speaker 1: by the schedule, but I do. My boss is very 290 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 1: respectful of it, and I do try to, you know, 291 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 1: work according to those hours. But you know, I am 292 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,480 Speaker 1: I am trying to do try to be agile and 293 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:44,640 Speaker 1: flexible with that as well. Yeah, so what she's describing 294 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:48,320 Speaker 1: in case we have listeners who haven't thought of doing 295 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,560 Speaker 1: this yet, is that the idea of the split shift, 296 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 1: right that if you need to work sort of longer 297 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 1: hours and yet you also want to see a young 298 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: child who goes to bed relatively early. So in her case, 299 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: the baby goes back quite early, which is like the 300 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:05,040 Speaker 1: foreign concept to me. But anyway, my children never did that, 301 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 1: you know. So if she works straight through to six, 302 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 1: she wouldn't say him, but she doesn't do that, so 303 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,800 Speaker 1: she stops at you know, four, she hangs out with 304 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 1: him for a while, and then does more work at 305 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 1: night after the baby goes to bed. And so that's 306 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 1: the split shift idea. And if you have some flexibility 307 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,480 Speaker 1: in your job, it is actually a great way to 308 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 1: get those full you know, forty hours in or if 309 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,840 Speaker 1: you need to do like fifty hours right like it's 310 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 1: you know, are there's been all this stuff written about 311 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 1: how like women will never work fifty hour week jobs 312 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 1: or whatever because they wouldn't see their kids. It's like, well, 313 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,480 Speaker 1: not the way most of them work it, I mean, 314 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,280 Speaker 1: Plus there's also a lot more than fifty hours in 315 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:43,160 Speaker 1: the week, but leaving that aside, you can work them 316 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,240 Speaker 1: in such a way that you preserve those early evening 317 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,720 Speaker 1: hours for family time and yet still get the work 318 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:52,320 Speaker 1: done too. Did you know that going into this or 319 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 1: did you stumble onto that paroda? The concept of working 320 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: of the four tens and then having a Friday off. 321 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 1: Well that and so the idea of working at night 322 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,920 Speaker 1: after Cayden goes to bed. Yeah, so I think you know. 323 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 1: I had a former coworker who was on our team who, 324 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 1: after her first baby, went on the schedule, and so 325 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:14,200 Speaker 1: I definitely picked her brain, you know, before while I 326 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 1: was pregnant, and I just asked her how it worked, 327 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,480 Speaker 1: and so I knew it was a possibility and that 328 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,960 Speaker 1: my company and that my boss especially would would be 329 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 1: open to this. Luckily, I know not everybody is this lucky, 330 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,840 Speaker 1: but my boss is two young, young daughters, so she's 331 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 1: sort of been through this world, if you will, especially 332 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 1: the early years, so she's very accommodating and she knows 333 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 1: my work ethic and stuff. So yeah, I knew early 334 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,800 Speaker 1: on that this was something I'd want to do. Yeah, 335 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 1: after I went back to work after maternity leave. Cool. 336 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,160 Speaker 1: So that's a good lesson right there. Talk to other 337 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,000 Speaker 1: people who are making it work right behind you because 338 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,600 Speaker 1: they might have some good ideas and you never know. 339 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 1: Sometimes people may not be outright about how they negotiated. 340 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 1: You may not know until you talk to them that hey, 341 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,360 Speaker 1: actually they did ask for this and they got it. 342 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 1: You had something in your notes about that, specifically about 343 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 1: not knowing how did you word it? Something about if 344 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:07,919 Speaker 1: you don't ask for something, you'll never know if you 345 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 1: get it right. If you don't ask, the answers always know. 346 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,200 Speaker 1: So that's something I say a lot. I think it's 347 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,600 Speaker 1: so easy to assume that your workplace or your boss 348 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:20,680 Speaker 1: won't allow an agile schedule or accommodate you in some way, 349 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,359 Speaker 1: but you really don't know until you ask. And I 350 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 1: know for me it's not always easy to be so 351 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,280 Speaker 1: forthright in asking for something that I want in these 352 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:30,760 Speaker 1: kinds of situations. But I realized that really, you know, 353 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,159 Speaker 1: in any career, the only one really looking out for 354 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,159 Speaker 1: you is you. I mean, other people care about your 355 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,360 Speaker 1: career and your growth, but when it comes to these things, 356 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,439 Speaker 1: people can't read your mind. They don't know what you 357 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 1: want and need, and so you have to kind of 358 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,960 Speaker 1: put yourself out there to make that work life. I 359 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,760 Speaker 1: like to call it integration. Work for you and your family. 360 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,800 Speaker 1: But yeah, always ask or always Okay, I'll put one 361 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:56,200 Speaker 1: small caveat on this because there are also some offices 362 00:17:56,240 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 1: where people don't ask but just do. With asking is 363 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:05,240 Speaker 1: sometimes you then get some of the negatives associated with it, 364 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 1: whereas if you just do, it is the asking for 365 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:12,639 Speaker 1: forgiveness rather than permission. So you have to read your 366 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,560 Speaker 1: own environment. If you have a boss who you know 367 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,800 Speaker 1: is good with flexible schedules, as you said, you know 368 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 1: that somebody you've seen go through it with their own 369 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,639 Speaker 1: children open and all that great. What there was some 370 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,359 Speaker 1: interesting research that came out. There was a study of 371 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 1: men in a major consulting firm. We don't know if 372 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,240 Speaker 1: it we don't know the name of that, and and 373 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,119 Speaker 1: Pritas is anonymous for this as well. Who knows maybe 374 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:34,679 Speaker 1: if they have been the same, but we don't know. 375 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 1: But anyway, they h a lot of the men were 376 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 1: people thought they were working eighty hour weeks, but they weren't. 377 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 1: They were actually working a lot like you are, but 378 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,280 Speaker 1: they just weren't talking about it, and so they just 379 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:52,560 Speaker 1: did it. And then you know, nobody knew. So it's 380 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 1: really I think, you know, people listening to this. You 381 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,040 Speaker 1: know your environment, you know if it's the place that 382 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,639 Speaker 1: embraces flexibility or a place where you kind of do 383 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,800 Speaker 1: the flexibility on the slide. But either way, just what 384 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,160 Speaker 1: you said, you are the only person looking out for you, 385 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,119 Speaker 1: so you need to take responsibility for working in a 386 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 1: way that works for you and then figure it out 387 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,720 Speaker 1: from there. But anyway, that's enough of my soapbox, can 388 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 1: you Let's let's go to your your tips and tricks 389 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:20,960 Speaker 1: and hacks. So, yeah, you had some great yeah. So 390 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 1: I think my first thing is I'm naturally like an 391 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,560 Speaker 1: organized person. I always have been. I really I love 392 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 1: like taking up my planner, Sarah. I'm sure you'll appreciate 393 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,120 Speaker 1: this and writing everything down, and you know, even if 394 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,160 Speaker 1: things don't go according to plan, I just like to 395 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,720 Speaker 1: sort of do that brain dump and kind of map 396 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,920 Speaker 1: it out for myself. So I use a paper planner 397 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 1: to plug everything in from paying rent to doctors' visits, 398 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 1: to vision new schedule, the travel plans to Caden's stuff. 399 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,399 Speaker 1: If you will, I also use my outlooks calendar, so 400 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 1: everything is in two different places. So even if I 401 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,240 Speaker 1: don't look at my paper calendar that morning, I will 402 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,840 Speaker 1: get my Outlook alert telling me that something is coming up. 403 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,080 Speaker 1: And now that I'm a mom, nothing is overkilled to 404 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 1: me because I tend to forget and so the more 405 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 1: that I write it down or type it out, the 406 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,000 Speaker 1: more likely it is that I'll remember whatever that task. 407 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 1: Do you share your outlook one with your husband so 408 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,919 Speaker 1: he can also see going on there or funny story, So, 409 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,480 Speaker 1: before Cayden was born, I definitely tried to do this 410 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,920 Speaker 1: like joint Google calendar with my husband, and I set 411 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,040 Speaker 1: it all up, I color coded it, and you know, 412 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,760 Speaker 1: I explained it to him. And then one day we 413 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 1: were sitting around and he got some alert for one 414 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 1: of my volunteer events and he's like, what is this 415 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,720 Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, it's my volunteer events part of 416 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 1: our calendar system. And he's like oh, and he just 417 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 1: wasn't a fan. It was really funny, and I'm like, 418 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just gonna plug you Just tell 419 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 1: me when your stuff is happening and I'll plug it in. 420 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,679 Speaker 1: And then I just remind him it sort of just 421 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 1: works with our personalities. He wasn't a fan of getting 422 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 1: alerts about my stuff, you know, so funny, that is 423 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,400 Speaker 1: funny that is funny. We found it helpful to share 424 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: a calendar, especially for like weekend stuff, so that we 425 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 1: don't double book stuff. But I get that some people 426 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,920 Speaker 1: don't necessarily want your structure impost on them. Yeah, and 427 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 1: I also have I should mention one of those mad 428 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,399 Speaker 1: like those big magnet calendars on the side of our 429 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 1: fridge where I also plug stuff in, so that the 430 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,119 Speaker 1: important things that I really need him to know, especially 431 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 1: about my work stuff or caidence stuff or even his 432 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:13,240 Speaker 1: own schedule sometimes is up there and sort of visible 433 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 1: in the kitchen. So I also have that. I should 434 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 1: say nothing is overkilled. Multiple layers absolutely. Absolutely. Another thing 435 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,320 Speaker 1: that I've learned since going back to work is that 436 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:29,960 Speaker 1: a good night time like prep routine is absolutely critical. 437 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 1: If I don't do this, the mornings are very chaotic. 438 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,000 Speaker 1: So for me, this means getting Caden's food ready for 439 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:40,240 Speaker 1: the next day, labeling bottles, prepping our lunches if possible. 440 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,080 Speaker 1: And I think it's just like thirty minutes is what 441 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:44,840 Speaker 1: all I need. Twenty to thirty minutes, and it just 442 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,480 Speaker 1: goes a long way. And my husband is free and 443 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:48,959 Speaker 1: at home he helps me as well, so it can 444 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,640 Speaker 1: go even even faster. But that is probably the biggest 445 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,080 Speaker 1: thing for me, is just ensuring that everything is ready 446 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:59,280 Speaker 1: for the next day, very important. Are you still pumping? 447 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:03,080 Speaker 1: Are you done? No? I I finished. I did pump 448 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:06,040 Speaker 1: a little bit after going back to work, but I 449 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 1: did it for about six months. I was an exclusive pumper, 450 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 1: so it was it started to really take a toll 451 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,119 Speaker 1: in multiple Yeah, for six months, and so we we 452 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:15,879 Speaker 1: we got to the six month mark and I just 453 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,719 Speaker 1: looked at my husband and he even said and it 454 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 1: was just you know, I think I'm ready to sort 455 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,680 Speaker 1: of start weaning. And we did that. That's so interesting. 456 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:28,840 Speaker 1: That's my that's my target as well. June eleventh, Yes, yeah, yeah, 457 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 1: that's awesome. And then well we especially like this next 458 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,359 Speaker 1: tip you have. I'm like, do what brings you joy? 459 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:40,120 Speaker 1: How is that a trip tip or trick or hack? 460 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 1: Talk about that? So I think, you know, in my 461 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,239 Speaker 1: experience and from the conversations I've had with my my 462 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,119 Speaker 1: friends who are moms and new moms, is that sometimes 463 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,120 Speaker 1: everything we do is for somebody else. So of course 464 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:54,320 Speaker 1: our children, but I find that a lot of what 465 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:56,280 Speaker 1: I do is sometimes for my husband or for work, 466 00:22:56,320 --> 00:23:01,320 Speaker 1: and that I'm not giving myself time and when that happens. 467 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 1: I just like to incorporate short sort of joy breaks 468 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,679 Speaker 1: into my day, and they really re energize me. This 469 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,840 Speaker 1: isn't big stuff. They just make me feel more like Parita. 470 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 1: So this can include anything from you know, a quick 471 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,560 Speaker 1: coffee break to a walk around the block if vision's 472 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 1: home with Kayden, a blog brainstorm session if you will, 473 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,800 Speaker 1: a quick ketchup with a friend, and even sort of 474 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,719 Speaker 1: mindless Instagram strolling. I'm really trying to cut back on that, 475 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,160 Speaker 1: but sometimes it's just fun to kind of go through 476 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,800 Speaker 1: and just look at everything and you know, say for 477 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,919 Speaker 1: five minutes, I'm going to do this before I go 478 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,439 Speaker 1: on with the next thing I have to do. I 479 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:38,119 Speaker 1: just think that sometimes a lot of guilt and shame 480 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 1: comes from doing things for yourself, and I think that 481 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 1: it's important to just carve out time, whether it's a 482 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,159 Speaker 1: chunk of time or just these five minute joy breaks 483 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,960 Speaker 1: as I like to call them, keeps you sane. I 484 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 1: absolutely agree there should be no shame in adding pockets 485 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 1: of enjoyment to your life. I was actually just a 486 00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,720 Speaker 1: guest on another podcast and that the host with mail 487 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,879 Speaker 1: and said something like, so, when when do moms you know, 488 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:06,480 Speaker 1: crossed the line from like doing everything to their kids 489 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,040 Speaker 1: to doing too much for themselves. And I'm like, is 490 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:12,320 Speaker 1: that really a problem that you've seen, because that is 491 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,160 Speaker 1: not something that I am familiar with. I mean, first 492 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 1: of all, what a gendered question. And second of all, 493 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 1: I think you know right now, they're really you know, 494 00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:21,680 Speaker 1: there's even evidence about it, and there have been books 495 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 1: written about it. There's this culture of like, you know, 496 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 1: a lot of guilt and a lot of us not 497 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,520 Speaker 1: feeling like you know, we never feel like we're doing enough. 498 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,159 Speaker 1: So I think that ways to push back against that 499 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,719 Speaker 1: are exactly what you said, and that's so warranted and 500 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:39,000 Speaker 1: so necessary. Absolutely so thank you for sharing that. Let's 501 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:43,800 Speaker 1: talk about dry shampoo. Oh my god, that's also on 502 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,680 Speaker 1: free listines. I'm like, looking at this, Yeah, I've never 503 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,399 Speaker 1: used it. Tell us about dry shampa. I feel like 504 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 1: my hair would not I don't know, I kind of 505 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,640 Speaker 1: have to watch it daily and I've never seen any 506 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 1: evidence that I don't have to do that. But but 507 00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:02,680 Speaker 1: tell us about this dry shampoo. Absolutely so. I dry 508 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 1: shampoo is my best friend. So I don't have time 509 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,200 Speaker 1: to wash and style and straighten my hair multiple times 510 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,240 Speaker 1: a week. But you still. You know, obviously for work, 511 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:13,880 Speaker 1: you have to have a you know, professional professional hair 512 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,920 Speaker 1: and that's where this where great dry shampoo I think 513 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,560 Speaker 1: comes in because it just helps sort of combat that 514 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,000 Speaker 1: oiliness because they do work out during the week, and 515 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,719 Speaker 1: you know, it just helps kind of keep things looking 516 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:30,360 Speaker 1: fresh without having to actually go through that process of washing, drying, straightening, 517 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,840 Speaker 1: and curling whatever it is with your hair, because you know, 518 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,399 Speaker 1: at night, I'm just exhausted and my arms are just 519 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 1: tired from holding a hair dryer and going through that. 520 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,399 Speaker 1: I have thick hair, So I think dry shampoo is 521 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 1: just something that saves me so much time, both if 522 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,560 Speaker 1: I look at it from an evening routine as well 523 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,800 Speaker 1: as my morning routine. It just it just saves so 524 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,560 Speaker 1: much time. I love it. If you find a good one, 525 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,680 Speaker 1: I like, am I allowed to say like brand? Yeah? Yeah, 526 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:57,399 Speaker 1: I love the Living Proof dry shampoo. It is the best. 527 00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 1: It just soaks up the oil and it just really 528 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,399 Speaker 1: smells really great. And just make sure here even if 529 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 1: you do an updo it just makes it look so clean. 530 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,160 Speaker 1: I don't know, it's it's a it's a it's a 531 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,959 Speaker 1: life saver. So what you just like powder it on 532 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,200 Speaker 1: your hair and it or spray it or like what's 533 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,399 Speaker 1: what's the actual logistics here? Yeah, so you just so 534 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,159 Speaker 1: you just part your hair, like in the front, I 535 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:18,840 Speaker 1: just part I just do you know, three or four 536 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 1: parts in the front and just spray it into the 537 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,719 Speaker 1: part and then you wait about three minutes and then 538 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 1: you just kind of rub it in. It goes on 539 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:25,760 Speaker 1: My hair is you know, dark black, so it goes 540 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,920 Speaker 1: on powdery and white. But then you just sort of 541 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 1: work it in and rub it in and then style 542 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,040 Speaker 1: of your hair as you would. You can leave it down, 543 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:33,920 Speaker 1: you can even run the straightener throw it really quick. 544 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,760 Speaker 1: Or sometimes when I do have dry shampoo days, I 545 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,280 Speaker 1: just like to pull my hair into like a nice 546 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,159 Speaker 1: top knot or a bun and it just looks you know, 547 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,639 Speaker 1: doesn't look oily, it looks clean. And it's just a 548 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,960 Speaker 1: little tip and trick that I love. Yeah. Cool, this 549 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:50,360 Speaker 1: might be helpful at my sort of between Japanese straightening periods. 550 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,159 Speaker 1: So I think they, yeah, you wouldn't want to be 551 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:58,399 Speaker 1: doing the drying and stuff. But and then your concealer 552 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,680 Speaker 1: like we're also we love soup official things. Yes, well 553 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:05,200 Speaker 1: this is gonna air right after our supersticial thing episode. Yeah, 554 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 1: so was finding a good because Pride also has a 555 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,240 Speaker 1: note that she has a good concealer. Was finding a 556 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 1: good concealer a difficult process for you? No, I have 557 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,960 Speaker 1: a coworker who is really into makeup and skincare, so 558 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,439 Speaker 1: she shares all of her products with me. So I 559 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:25,600 Speaker 1: recently just started using the chart shape tape concealer and 560 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,800 Speaker 1: it is amazing. I mean, my dark circles can often 561 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:33,199 Speaker 1: be out of control, and they it just really like 562 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,240 Speaker 1: covers it up and keeps you, you know, looking really 563 00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:38,639 Speaker 1: like bright faced and less like a zombie more like 564 00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:43,439 Speaker 1: a professional. Highly recommend, highly recommend that specific one, the 565 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:48,680 Speaker 1: chart shape tape. Yeah. Do they have lots of different shades? Yeah, 566 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 1: they have a good they have a good shade range. 567 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 1: I would say they definitely do. I think I think 568 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,119 Speaker 1: you could find something for everyone there for something Okay, 569 00:27:56,200 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 1: all right, that sounds good? And what other let's see 570 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:06,760 Speaker 1: tips and tricks for surviving the corporate life. Yes, one, 571 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,359 Speaker 1: if you don't mind one thing. I think that I 572 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,520 Speaker 1: was very anti. I would say, I know you guys 573 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:17,040 Speaker 1: had a whole episode. I'm outsourcing. Was outsourcing so before 574 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,080 Speaker 1: we had Caden all through my pregnancy, I was always 575 00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:22,320 Speaker 1: the one and sometimes my husband as well, to clean 576 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,320 Speaker 1: the house and do sort of that weekend, spend a 577 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:28,159 Speaker 1: few hours cleaning the apartment or the house, and I 578 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 1: just I don't know, I don't know if there was 579 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,439 Speaker 1: like shame or guilt in hiring somebody to do that 580 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,840 Speaker 1: for me. But I quickly realized after Cayden was born, 581 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,280 Speaker 1: like a month or two in, that this wasn't a 582 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,960 Speaker 1: weekly deep clean, just wasn't really going to fit into 583 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:45,160 Speaker 1: my schedule and everything else that I wanted to accomplish. 584 00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:48,240 Speaker 1: So we did find a wonderful cleaning service that we 585 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,160 Speaker 1: now have come to the apartment and they do their 586 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,360 Speaker 1: deep clean for us, and it is honestly the best 587 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 1: money we could spend. I looked at my husband after 588 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 1: our woman came the first time, and I just said, 589 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:01,640 Speaker 1: I wish we had signed up for this years ago. 590 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,840 Speaker 1: It just saves you so much time and she does 591 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:06,600 Speaker 1: a much better job than I could ever do. So 592 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,840 Speaker 1: I think that's like one thing I would just say 593 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,200 Speaker 1: to moms is really look at your your schedule, look 594 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 1: at where you have pockets of time and how you 595 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,520 Speaker 1: really want to use them, and if it's Okay to outsource. 596 00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,120 Speaker 1: There's no real shame in that. I know I felt 597 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,080 Speaker 1: that way. But it really saves you time, and that's 598 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 1: time that can be spent doing something else, of adding 599 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 1: value or spending time with your child. I don't know. 600 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,760 Speaker 1: I just think that's another big one for me as 601 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 1: a working mom. We are all about one. Outsourcing is 602 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 1: key around here. And and so I mean, I'm curious 603 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,360 Speaker 1: how you see this shaving out because obviously your husband 604 00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:39,960 Speaker 1: will be done with residency and what two more years 605 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,200 Speaker 1: or he has three years? Two years of residency and 606 00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,560 Speaker 1: then a year of fellowship. Okay, so you guys will 607 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,800 Speaker 1: be nearing the end of that in another year or so. 608 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,240 Speaker 1: So how do you see things evolving at that point 609 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 1: in your life? Yeah, so I think for us, so 610 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:57,840 Speaker 1: we're currently based in Chicago, and that was a move 611 00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,600 Speaker 1: that we made for his residency, and so we have 612 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,200 Speaker 1: another two years of radiology residency and then a year 613 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:09,000 Speaker 1: of fellowship. The great thing about radiology in my experience, 614 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,200 Speaker 1: in having talked to other women who are married to 615 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:15,160 Speaker 1: residents or physicians and physicians themselves, is that it's a 616 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,880 Speaker 1: little bit quote unquote easier in a sense, a little 617 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:22,720 Speaker 1: more predictable. It's all shift based, so that really helps 618 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,440 Speaker 1: me maintain some perspective on the harder days. And Mission 619 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,240 Speaker 1: is usually home in the mornings unless he's on a 620 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,800 Speaker 1: night rotation, so that really helps with our morning routine 621 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:32,880 Speaker 1: and helping me get out the door and ready as well. 622 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,680 Speaker 1: The evenings are usually hit or miss, so I go 623 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,480 Speaker 1: into I always go into the evening thinking I'm gonna 624 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:38,680 Speaker 1: have to do this on my own, and if he 625 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,120 Speaker 1: gets home early, that's a big win. If he does, 626 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 1: that is the right attitude for right there. You got 627 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 1: to assume like the worst and then be surprised. And 628 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 1: then the weekend calls are a little bit not difficult, 629 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:51,920 Speaker 1: I would say, it's just something else to kind of 630 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:53,400 Speaker 1: get used to. So the twelve, when he has a 631 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 1: twelve hour shift, that's very manageable for me. But when 632 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,880 Speaker 1: he has a twenty four hour it's all me, and 633 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 1: that's when it can be a little exhausting. But it's fine. 634 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,240 Speaker 1: I think once he's done, I think, based on what 635 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,800 Speaker 1: I know it'll be, it'll be pretty manageable. I think 636 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,480 Speaker 1: we'll be fine, and we'll, you know, just like you 637 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 1: always do, take it a day at a time and 638 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:13,880 Speaker 1: you get through it. But yeah, for the next few 639 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,200 Speaker 1: years we are going to be living this resident slash 640 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,600 Speaker 1: fellow life. But radiology is a little bit, I would say, 641 00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:23,120 Speaker 1: personally easier than other surgical fields, if you will cool, 642 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:26,880 Speaker 1: I have one more random question. Your son goes to bed, 643 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,000 Speaker 1: son or daughter? This is a son, Okay, he goes 644 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:33,479 Speaker 1: to bed at six? What time does he wake up? Yeah? So, 645 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,200 Speaker 1: actually it's funny because when I sent you guys my notes, 646 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:39,440 Speaker 1: I said that he's usually up between four forty five 647 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:43,280 Speaker 1: and five, but this week people breaking up at between 648 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,080 Speaker 1: five thirty and five forty five six, So he's been 649 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 1: slowly sort of pushing it back. So he sleeps about 650 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,240 Speaker 1: eleven to eleven and a half hours, and so you 651 00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:54,040 Speaker 1: get a little bit of quality time in the morning 652 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,720 Speaker 1: with him as well. Yes, yes, yes, yes, absolutely, yeah, 653 00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:02,080 Speaker 1: because that's something that I think, you know, Laura's had 654 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,680 Speaker 1: that discussion before, you know, in terms of the never 655 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,239 Speaker 1: seeing your baby. But people always discount the mornings. But 656 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:09,440 Speaker 1: at least in my experience, I think the mornings are 657 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:12,360 Speaker 1: the best. That's when they're in the best mood. It's 658 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,840 Speaker 1: kind of peaceful. It's not to be I mean, I 659 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:16,880 Speaker 1: guess if you're like a total anti morning person, you're 660 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:20,719 Speaker 1: just miserable the first two hours of your day, then 661 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,320 Speaker 1: it's different. But but like, yeah, don't discount those mornings. 662 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,720 Speaker 1: They're beautiful with little kids. Absolutely, So we'll just put 663 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,480 Speaker 1: him in his high chair and eat our breakfast and 664 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:30,600 Speaker 1: give him something, you know, and it's just it is 665 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,480 Speaker 1: really fun. And he's a morning person. I'm a morning person. 666 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,560 Speaker 1: My husband has become a morning person. So it is great. 667 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:40,760 Speaker 1: It is great time. You're right, it's quality time. Wonderful. Well, Grata, 668 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,840 Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on and sharing your 669 00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,840 Speaker 1: your hacks for making life in the corporate world with 670 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:49,120 Speaker 1: a small kid work. Anything else you want to share? 671 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,560 Speaker 1: Are we going to do a love of the week 672 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:55,400 Speaker 1: or is her love of the week dry shampoo? Oh? Yes, 673 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,120 Speaker 1: I actually thought about this because I know you guys 674 00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,480 Speaker 1: always ask, and my love of the week is a 675 00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,960 Speaker 1: sound machines. So when Cayden was born, we got a 676 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 1: sound machine for a room where he slept, and then 677 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:08,320 Speaker 1: when he moved into his own room, we we switched 678 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,360 Speaker 1: and gave him a different sound machine. We have a 679 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 1: sound machine at his daycare and now we use the 680 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,320 Speaker 1: original one for us in our room, and it is 681 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:17,600 Speaker 1: just a godsend like it drowns out all the city 682 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,280 Speaker 1: noise that we would normally hear, and it just like 683 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:24,320 Speaker 1: gives you that peaceful night of sleep usually and it 684 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,000 Speaker 1: drowns out you know. When my husband comes to bed 685 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,160 Speaker 1: later than me, I don't hear him. I just think 686 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:31,480 Speaker 1: it's such. I think every every parent should invest in 687 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:33,720 Speaker 1: a sound machine for their baby when they're born, and 688 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,920 Speaker 1: then even when the baby transitions, get one for them 689 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,520 Speaker 1: and then keep one for yourself. That's that is awesome. Yes, 690 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,600 Speaker 1: we are full of sound machines at our house as well. 691 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,000 Speaker 1: I will admit that I was just multitasking and I 692 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:46,240 Speaker 1: went on Amazon and bought the the tart Shape Tape 693 00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:54,920 Speaker 1: Concealer Medium. I don't know what shade used FORREATA. I'm 694 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,000 Speaker 1: a very light, medium, skim kind of girl, so I 695 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,920 Speaker 1: just ordered that. It's it's a little back ordered it look, 696 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,320 Speaker 1: it won't arrive till late May. We're taping this in April, 697 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,720 Speaker 1: but by the time this errors, I probably will have it. 698 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:13,000 Speaker 1: So we'll put the blog if I'm sleep it So 699 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:15,640 Speaker 1: Harron got I mean, we mean this should be my 700 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,080 Speaker 1: love of the week again. The Amazon app I spend 701 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:22,320 Speaker 1: so much time on there, Sarah, how about yours? Yes, 702 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,480 Speaker 1: my random love of the week is the new Casey 703 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,839 Speaker 1: Musgraves album. And I am not a country music aficionado 704 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,480 Speaker 1: by any stretch of the imagination. I mean, I can 705 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:35,239 Speaker 1: like old school tailor swift maybe, but that doesn't really 706 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,279 Speaker 1: count either. But this album is like for everyone, it's 707 00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,799 Speaker 1: just so. Her voice is so beautiful, her songs kind 708 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,279 Speaker 1: of cross over and to pop. I really don't think 709 00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:46,600 Speaker 1: anyone could dislike this album. So check it out. Casey 710 00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,000 Speaker 1: musk Graves Golden Hour, all right, and the and the 711 00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:52,560 Speaker 1: Tart Concealer. We'll all be getting there and the Tart Concealer, 712 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,080 Speaker 1: I know, well, we'll all look like we are bright 713 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,239 Speaker 1: and bushy tail. Okay, Well, thank you so much for 714 00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,799 Speaker 1: coming on PARTA. We appreciate it. Thank you both, Thank 715 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:03,000 Speaker 1: you how much? All right? This question comes from a 716 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:07,120 Speaker 1: longtime reader of my blog, Thank You Emmy. She is 717 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:10,239 Speaker 1: writing that she doesn't have kids yet, but is thinking 718 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:12,839 Speaker 1: about having a child in the next few years, and 719 00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:16,080 Speaker 1: she's working as an attorney in a big city, but 720 00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,840 Speaker 1: she's considering a couple of job offers for her next step. 721 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,360 Speaker 1: One of them has a high salary with long hours 722 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,319 Speaker 1: and a lot of travel, and the second has a 723 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:27,440 Speaker 1: lower salary but would be, in quotes, a much better lifestyle. 724 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,800 Speaker 1: So she's wondering how much should family friendliness be factored 725 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,480 Speaker 1: in at this point before even embarking on the journey 726 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:36,840 Speaker 1: of having children. She says she's struggling to balance leaning 727 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:40,040 Speaker 1: in versus being realistic about the challenges that she'll likely 728 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:43,960 Speaker 1: face with children in the near future. Oh well, I'll 729 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,879 Speaker 1: let you go first. Yeah. No, it's mentioned lean in 730 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,479 Speaker 1: or leaning in, because, of course, this is the whole 731 00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,160 Speaker 1: point of the Cheryl Sandberg book, which is that if 732 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:56,840 Speaker 1: you don't have kids, why are you sort of taking 733 00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:00,640 Speaker 1: yourself out already in anticipation of future kids when they're 734 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,960 Speaker 1: not even there yet. That you may as well lean 735 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:07,920 Speaker 1: in as much as you can because that actually creates 736 00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:11,840 Speaker 1: more options later on. So I mean, I'm not saying 737 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:15,399 Speaker 1: what this reader slash listeners should should do with her life, 738 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,760 Speaker 1: because there's many things to consider at the job beyond salary, 739 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:21,880 Speaker 1: for instance, So I think honestly she should think about 740 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:25,279 Speaker 1: which job most matches with what she would like to 741 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:29,400 Speaker 1: spend her days doing what she finds most interesting, most compelling, 742 00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,040 Speaker 1: most like she feels she's making a difference in the world, 743 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,440 Speaker 1: that she's excited about life. Those are the key questions. 744 00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,480 Speaker 1: Obviously salary is part of that too, because there is 745 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,399 Speaker 1: nothing wrong with earning money. So I'm not saying don't 746 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,440 Speaker 1: take salary into account, but you probably don't want to 747 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:48,040 Speaker 1: make it the absolute one hundred percent choice based on 748 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:52,200 Speaker 1: salary alone. That said, I mean, I think there are 749 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,439 Speaker 1: some serious upsides to using these next you know, let's 750 00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:58,320 Speaker 1: say she has a kid in three years. There's serious 751 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:02,280 Speaker 1: upsides with spending the next three years racking up money. 752 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 1: I mean, like totally, I totally agree. I think salary 753 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,640 Speaker 1: is actually, you know, this is a time that you 754 00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:12,319 Speaker 1: may want to think about banking and saving so that 755 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,719 Speaker 1: you have that flexibility later on. I think it's like 756 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:19,040 Speaker 1: far from trivial actually in this particular case, because you know, 757 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,720 Speaker 1: if she wants to like hire a really good caregiver 758 00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,839 Speaker 1: for instance, like having a little extra money means that 759 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,040 Speaker 1: maybe you're a little bit more flexible in how many 760 00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:29,279 Speaker 1: hours you have, how much negotiation you have with that. 761 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:33,200 Speaker 1: It could mean that if she does elect to, let's say, 762 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:36,960 Speaker 1: go part time, at some point, she has some cash 763 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,040 Speaker 1: saved up so she's got a cushion so she doesn't 764 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,759 Speaker 1: feel like she absolutely has to then necessarily work full 765 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:45,440 Speaker 1: time later on, you know, having that cushion. I mean, 766 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,960 Speaker 1: kids are expensive. Let's just you know, it's it's not 767 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:52,000 Speaker 1: a bad idea to have banked some serious cash before 768 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:55,440 Speaker 1: having them, you know, and given that she doesn't have 769 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:56,920 Speaker 1: the kids now, I mean, they're sort of like, well 770 00:37:56,920 --> 00:38:00,279 Speaker 1: why not, you know, why not put the time and 771 00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 1: have that. There's also the reality that if the work 772 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,600 Speaker 1: you're doing will challenge you more and give you new skills, 773 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,080 Speaker 1: that's a better position to be in if you do 774 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,960 Speaker 1: want to do something more family friendly once you do 775 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:18,439 Speaker 1: have kids. So, I mean, she's in the I think 776 00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:20,359 Speaker 1: she may be in the legal world. I'm not one 777 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:23,000 Speaker 1: hundred percent sure, but you know, just the idea if 778 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:26,440 Speaker 1: she makes partner at a major firm, that opens up 779 00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:30,880 Speaker 1: doors in a way that maybe sort of a smaller 780 00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,360 Speaker 1: role at a smaller firm does not. Like she'd probably 781 00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:37,720 Speaker 1: have more offers to go into maybe public sector work, 782 00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,719 Speaker 1: or go into being an in house counsel at a 783 00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:44,479 Speaker 1: company if she's you know, check that box of making 784 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,480 Speaker 1: partner at a major firm. So these are alwaysings to consider. 785 00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:50,160 Speaker 1: It's a great point. It may be easier to scale 786 00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:53,399 Speaker 1: down from a high point than to scale up after 787 00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:57,759 Speaker 1: having kids later. So I listening to us, we're both 788 00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:01,120 Speaker 1: we're both saying, you know, if if there's two job 789 00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:03,960 Speaker 1: officers on the table and one you absolutely you know 790 00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,200 Speaker 1: love and it happens to be a lower salary and 791 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:09,520 Speaker 1: more family friendly, that that shouldn't be a reason not 792 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,799 Speaker 1: to take it, Like you should do what you want 793 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,960 Speaker 1: to do. But if you are looking at two offers, 794 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:18,080 Speaker 1: you're saying, well, I'm interested in this more sort of challenging, 795 00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:22,200 Speaker 1: travel intense, higher paying job. I'm just worried about whether 796 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,839 Speaker 1: it'll be sustainable when I have kids. Well, you don't 797 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,000 Speaker 1: have kids yet. You may as well do the thing 798 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,279 Speaker 1: and then worry about the sustainability later, and you can 799 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,960 Speaker 1: always find another job later, right, You know, you could 800 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,279 Speaker 1: find something more family friendly or take some time off 801 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:36,839 Speaker 1: or scale back or whatever it is, but you know 802 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:39,719 Speaker 1: it'll be harder to get into that big job later, 803 00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 1: so maybe you want to take that chance now. Excellent, 804 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:44,759 Speaker 1: All right, Well, I think we're kind of on the 805 00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,200 Speaker 1: same page with this. Maybe she'll write to us later 806 00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:48,640 Speaker 1: and let us know what she let us know what 807 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,000 Speaker 1: she thinks. All right, Well, this has been Best of 808 00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:54,200 Speaker 1: Both Worlds Episode forty six. We've been talking a lot 809 00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:57,160 Speaker 1: of corporate life and making it work. So we'll be 810 00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:00,160 Speaker 1: back next week with more on making work and life. 811 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:06,319 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the 812 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:11,120 Speaker 1: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, 813 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:15,480 Speaker 1: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 814 00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,719 Speaker 1: This has been the best of Both Worlds podcasts. Please 815 00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,400 Speaker 1: join us next time for more on making work and 816 00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:22,640 Speaker 1: life work together.