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Speaker 1: Where does Warriors go to week?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Where does Lions go to lie? Okay, where do Eagles

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Speaker 3: go to crime? And really kind of check your scars, like, dang, bro,

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Speaker 3: they got me, dog, Oh my god, they got me.

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Speaker 1: See I couldn't do that publicly.

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Speaker 3: And when you at odds with a person that's supposed

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Speaker 3: to recharge you, now everywhere is a battle field.

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Speaker 2: Hello, family, I want to welcome you to next chapter

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Speaker 2: with TD Jakes. We've got a very very special show

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Speaker 2: for you today. I think you're going to really enjoy

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Speaker 2: this episode. Be in formed, be inspired, and be renewed.

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Speaker 2: Today's guests is a true cultural icon, a Carolina Panthers,

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Speaker 2: Auburn and Atlantic legend who's swagger, style and spirit redefined

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Speaker 2: a position, a co host on beet and one o

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Speaker 2: six in sports and analysts on ESPN First Take, and

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Speaker 2: a powerhouse content creator and media entrepreneur behind I guess

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Speaker 2: I could say this Funky Friday and fourth and one,

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Speaker 2: an NFL superstar, turn media personality, and a devoted father.

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Speaker 2: Please welcome Cam Newton. Thank you great to have you

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Speaker 2: on the show. I let me tell you everybody had

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Speaker 2: been telling me, Yeah, he's a PK. He's a PK.

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Speaker 2: He's a PK. But they didn't tell me that you

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Speaker 2: was from a hand clapping foot stomping. Oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: yeah yeah, talking.

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Speaker 1: About old, old deep root itself.

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Speaker 3: My father actually got his learning or studied the word

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Speaker 3: up under my mother's father. Okay, they met a Savannah

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Speaker 3: and at Savannah that university, and you know, Bishop Talmadge

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Speaker 3: was my was my grandfather's name, and he took my

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Speaker 3: father in and gave him the word and minished taught

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Speaker 3: the ministry, and he took it from there.

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Speaker 1: So when I say.

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Speaker 2: Church, yeah on the hardwood floor where you get hear

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Speaker 2: the jump. Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

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Speaker 3: So being in the position of football where you know

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Speaker 3: you play on Sundays, Yeah, I didn't really watch NFL

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Speaker 3: football grow I didn't have the time, right, you know,

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Speaker 3: you've got the eight o'clock service, then the hosting family

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Speaker 3: through the main yes, and then you come back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sweet potato pade in the back of the church.

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Speaker 2: I grew. I grew up the same way, the exact

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Speaker 2: same way.

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Speaker 1: It should be fun.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, So I can deeply relate. I can almost

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Speaker 2: see the church, so I can deeply relate to it

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Speaker 2: a little small church, not a big church, a little

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Speaker 2: tiny church. But everybody knew everybody. Everybody knew everybody else's business,

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Speaker 2: and we had church, we had church, old school. So

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Speaker 2: I'm very, very excited to talk to you today and

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Speaker 2: what your journey. Your journey is like six Flags. I mean,

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Speaker 2: you had so many different experiences, so many different things

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Speaker 2: that I want to get into as many of them

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Speaker 2: as I can today and share them with you. I've

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Speaker 2: really got some things that I think are important. Chapter

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Speaker 2: number one, Pentecostal upbringing. How do you think your church

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Speaker 2: background informed or detracted from your sports career?

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Speaker 3: Ah Man, I think the religion of being a Christian

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Speaker 3: gave me my foundation of life, Okay, and that's the

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Speaker 3: great And if I'm keeping it funky, there are some

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Speaker 3: things I wish I could unlearn about that transition to

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Speaker 3: I heard once that said, my religion taught me how

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Speaker 3: to live, but my religion also taught me how to judge.

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Speaker 3: And I think when you're talking about what would Jesus

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Speaker 3: do and all those type of principles that you know,

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Speaker 3: you hear those mothers of the church and said that

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Speaker 3: ain't of God certain things the curious, you know, child,

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Speaker 3: or the curiosity in me was like, but why though,

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Speaker 3: and it was never answered to some degree. So as

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Speaker 3: I grew, you know, having that foundation of knowing right

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Speaker 3: from wrong, but still being curious to a degree, and

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Speaker 3: that's pretty much where you know and who I am.

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Speaker 1: It's like, I don't judge.

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Speaker 3: I try to find the merit, the logic behind everybody.

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Speaker 1: I think one of the most interesting.

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Speaker 3: Classes that I've ever took while studying sociology was a

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Speaker 3: religion class, because.

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Speaker 1: I was the first time I got to look at

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Speaker 1: other religions, not.

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Speaker 3: To join, but just to see perspective as a person

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Speaker 3: of Islam as you know, Buddhism, Hinduism, in Catholic and

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Speaker 3: certain things.

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Speaker 1: And it gave me so.

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Speaker 3: Much perspective, absolutely, and I needed that and so do

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Speaker 3: other people need that because I think that there's a

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Speaker 3: great divide.

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Speaker 1: In religion spirituality.

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Speaker 3: So I'm the curious cat sort of speak that always

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Speaker 3: asks ask the question of why, and it has benefited

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Speaker 3: me more times than not with the spirit to understand

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Speaker 3: not to judge.

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Speaker 2: Was it hard growing up a preacher.

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Speaker 3: Skin, No, it wasn't. I think a lot of you know,

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Speaker 3: that's the cultural kind of.

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Speaker 1: Just kid.

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Speaker 2: He the worst one.

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Speaker 3: I had a lot of person I did not lack that. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and it was hard for me to get embarrassed. But

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Speaker 3: I think I come up in the church that you

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Speaker 3: had to memorize your Easter speech and speak.

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Speaker 1: You know, you can have the luxuries. No, you couldn't

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Speaker 1: read it.

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Speaker 3: Roses are red violence something. Now you had to memorize it.

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Speaker 3: You know, the youth teacher gave you your speech on

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Speaker 3: the the Sunday leading up until Easter Sunday, and you

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Speaker 3: had to memorize it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you had to sit in the kitchen and practice

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Speaker 2: it for your mother over and over getting ready for ye.

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Speaker 3: Ye, I slow down people in their eyes and you know,

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Speaker 3: as as I learned and I was grow It's crazy

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Speaker 3: because I used my platforms a funky Friday fourth and one.

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Speaker 3: When you see me as talent on ESPN, first take

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Speaker 3: when you see me, you know, BT of one, O

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Speaker 3: six and sports. That's my ministry, that's my opportunity to

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Speaker 3: lure people to the degree I've never been, you know,

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Speaker 3: shy about who I am or what I represent. I've

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Speaker 3: given my life over, you know, to Jesus Christ. He

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Speaker 3: is the head of my life and those type of

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Speaker 3: things it's like, well it looks a little different, you know,

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Speaker 3: but I know where my heart is. So ironically enough,

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Speaker 3: growing up in church was my first initiation.

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Speaker 1: To public speaking, okay, Okay, So that was.

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Speaker 3: It was extremely comfortable for talking and just being juveial

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Speaker 3: in front of people and just feeling comfortable.

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Speaker 2: So you grew up in front of crowds, that's nothing

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Speaker 2: new for you. No, you felt natural, felt comfortable and

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Speaker 2: being in that situation. But it's a big difference between

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Speaker 2: the church crowd and a football crowd for sure, okay.

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Speaker 2: And the emphasis is on what you're doing and how

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Speaker 2: you're acting and how you're performing and all the rehearsals. Said,

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Speaker 2: I also passed several of the cowboys, so I got

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Speaker 2: a front row seat at what it was like to

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Speaker 2: be in the NFL. Yeah. I saw all the girls

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Speaker 2: waiting in the back, you know, lined up on both sides. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I know, I saw. I saw all of it, Okay,

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Speaker 2: the good, the bad, and the ugly. So, but it

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Speaker 2: is an amazing thing that a lot of our young

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Speaker 2: men aspired to be what what advice would you give

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Speaker 2: to those young men who aspire to make that to

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Speaker 2: cross that divide and go into that area.

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Speaker 3: Well, nothing that's worth having will be given easily, right right.

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Speaker 3: And I think there's a lot of distractions, temptations, hindrances.

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Speaker 1: In any walk of life, right right.

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Speaker 3: And when you add in starto yes, plus financial freedom, right,

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Speaker 3: that could be the recipe to you know, eyes to

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Speaker 3: the greatest of strong individuals. But as long as you

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Speaker 3: are rooted in what your purpose is. Oftentimes it's funny

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Speaker 3: story because I always knew right from wrong.

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Speaker 1: I just didn't do right all the time.

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Speaker 3: And it was crazy that my highlights when I was

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Speaker 3: in the NFL, you know, it was like that's a

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Speaker 3: national kind of platform. And I remember on my bye week,

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Speaker 3: I went back to church because we had a free Sunday.

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Speaker 4: And one of the mothers pulled me aside and say, Kimmy,

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Speaker 4: now I read your lips on one of the touchdowns

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Speaker 4: that you said, that's not Jesus Baker.

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Speaker 3: And now now you know, I wanted to be respectful

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Speaker 3: because it's yes, ma'am. Yes, But it was one of

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Speaker 3: those things that that was some of the pressures, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: trying to be a certain type of right, but also

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Speaker 3: staying true to are and everybody sees the transition that man,

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Speaker 3: I remember he was just that knucklehead kid that was

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Speaker 3: asked to stand up in church because he was falling asleep.

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Speaker 3: And now going back to those routes, a lot of

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Speaker 3: those people still see that little boy. Yeah, And I'm

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Speaker 3: not saying I'm not using an example of using an

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Speaker 3: explicit word, but I'm saying, as you grow, so does distractions,

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Speaker 3: and you have to stay focused.

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Speaker 2: So you know, I understand your parents were married for

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Speaker 2: thirty years. You said that you were kind of the

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Speaker 2: black sheep of the family. How many other siblings do

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Speaker 2: you have too? So you grew up here a strong

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Speaker 2: family environment, dinner around the table, all of that kind

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Speaker 2: of stuff. What do you think was the secret to

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Speaker 2: the longevity of their relationship?

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Speaker 1: Simplicity and routine. Okay, simplicity and routine.

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Speaker 3: I've studied my my parents' relationship for years and in

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Speaker 3: some ways envious of it because, on one hand, I know,

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Speaker 3: simplicity and routine.

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Speaker 1: My father's gonna wake.

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Speaker 3: Up at seven, he's gonna be out of the house

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Speaker 3: by eight thirty, and when he comes back, his food

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Speaker 3: is gonna be prepared. You know, the clothes are gonna

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Speaker 3: be ironed, and the house is gonna be you know,

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Speaker 3: tidy and everything.

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Speaker 1: My mom's you know, she gonna watch HGTV all day.

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Speaker 3: She may throw in a Discovery channel every now and

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Speaker 3: then she's gonna go to her Marshalls or TJ Max

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Speaker 3: or may C's or J C.

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Speaker 1: Penny.

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Speaker 3: She's gonna do some antique shopping and may you know,

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Speaker 3: pick up a thing or two and then boom at

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Speaker 3: a certain times, she's gonna make her way right back

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Speaker 3: onto the house. To make sure that that routine is consistent.

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Speaker 3: My brothers as well too, Both are married and I

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Speaker 3: see them and it's simplicity and routine. Well, on one hand,

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Speaker 3: I know that, But on the other hand, if we're

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Speaker 3: being real, I can't be that because, like I was

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Speaker 3: having a conversation with the young lady that was micing me,

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Speaker 3: I'm going to sleep at two am.

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Speaker 1: Losing opportunities with.

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Speaker 3: My children, not by choice, just by force, but finding

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Speaker 3: it in other ways and other avenues. That's my sacrifice

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Speaker 3: that hopefully pays dividends to what I deem success looks like.

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Speaker 2: Chapter number two, simplicity. Do you think that where you

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Speaker 2: are about that it's where you'll always be? You know,

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Speaker 2: we go through stages and phases in different ages and

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Speaker 2: differently depending upon where we are in life and with

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Speaker 2: the level of ambition and demand that's on you right now.

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Speaker 2: Simplicity is an impossibility, but don't you miss it.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes I found simplicity in that speaks to me. It

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Speaker 3: may not speak to everybody. You know, when that red

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Speaker 3: button is pressed or that red button is pressed, A

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Speaker 3: lot of times people see a character right right when

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Speaker 3: you would take the stage.

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Speaker 1: As Bishop TDS.

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Speaker 3: It's something that clicks into you to say, throat, I

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Speaker 3: just got to come up, you know, just certain things.

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Speaker 1: You know, when I went on a football field, a

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Speaker 1: character was unleashed.

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Speaker 3: But the simplicity is when that red button is not press,

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Speaker 3: that field is not able to talk to or get

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Speaker 3: walked on, or that stage is nothing, and I tap

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Speaker 3: in with myself.

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Speaker 2: Those moments are precious, at least for me. Yes, they're

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Speaker 2: very precious and very proud of and hard to come by. Yes,

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Speaker 2: And you hate for people to disturb them and uproot them. Yes,

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Speaker 2: and janq back into being on the field or on

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Speaker 2: the stage or whether it's a Broadway play. They're very,

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Speaker 2: very precious, precious moments.

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Speaker 1: But my question to you is you've been the earthly

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Speaker 1: display of God to so many people.

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Speaker 3: Right, how do you find the time the energy to

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Speaker 3: just take a step back and disconnect, to recharge in

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Speaker 3: your own life.

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Speaker 2: It depends on how old I was, how I would

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Speaker 2: answer that. At one age, it was getting away, it

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Speaker 2: was going on vacations, it was just getting going where

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Speaker 2: nobody knew my name. And then it got smaller and smaller.

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Speaker 2: The universe appear people that did not know who I

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Speaker 2: was at all. At this stage in my life, I

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Speaker 2: stay at home. You know everything, I need, everything I wanted.

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Speaker 2: I go about five places, you know, the CVS to

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Speaker 2: the grocery store. I insist on normalcy because I think

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Speaker 2: to be totally robbed of normalcy, it's the worst robbery

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Speaker 2: in the world to be denied your humanity because you

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Speaker 2: were created as a human, not a star, not an actor,

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Speaker 2: not a movie star, not even a preacher. You were

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Speaker 2: created as a human being, and so you're a man

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Speaker 2: before you anything else. You're God's man. But you're also

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Speaker 2: a man, and that man needs to be able to

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Speaker 2: breathe and think, and in order to be able to

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Speaker 2: walk out on the stage and be creative and be

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Speaker 2: inundated with new thought, He needs to be able to

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Speaker 2: think and read other materials and be wise to what

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Speaker 2: is going on in the world, especially now when the

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Speaker 2: world is changing so drastically. I can no longer depend

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Speaker 2: on the world to be what it was ten years ago.

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Speaker 2: The institutions are changing. One thing I always give credit

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Speaker 2: to when Katrina came in New Orleans, it wasn't the

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Speaker 2: wind or the rain that really did the most devastation.

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Speaker 2: It was the breaking of the levees. And we are

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Speaker 2: watching the levees break. All the standards, all the routines, institutions, stables, laws, rules.

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Speaker 2: We knew how things went, we knew how they work.

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Speaker 2: They're all breaking and as they break, we're on the roof.

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Speaker 2: We're on the roof right now. And so I never

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Speaker 2: felt more needed in all of my life. And to

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Speaker 2: be honest, I never felt more uncomfortable in all of

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Speaker 2: my life, because I like for it to know that

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Speaker 2: this is stable, this is not going to fall over,

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Speaker 2: It's going to be there. And that's where faith becomes

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Speaker 2: the most important, because you don't need faith when everything

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Speaker 2: is steady. You need faith when everything is shape. No,

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Speaker 2: for sure, you need faith when all hell is breaking

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Speaker 2: loose and you find yourself in those kinds of situations

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Speaker 2: when you look at your life and you look at

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Speaker 2: your commitment to familyhood. You were talking about your sons

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Speaker 2: and all that you have. How many I have.

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Speaker 1: Six sons, three daughters.

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Speaker 2: Six sons and three daughters. Okay, wow, that's a lot.

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Speaker 1: That's he was taking a bag.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you didn't completely, but you got six sons and

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Speaker 2: three daughters. How do you manage to give them presents

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Speaker 2: and not just presence? Or do you?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 3: I'm a very hands on father, but I think the

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Speaker 3: more wiser I become, I try to make sure that

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Speaker 3: each child experiences, to the best of my ability, the

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Speaker 3: same parent, even though they will never witness the same dad. No,

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Speaker 3: do you understand? Oh, I totally do.

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Speaker 1: So.

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Speaker 3: It's like your first they get to oh my goodness,

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Speaker 3: you just ah, then you start getting into your second,

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Speaker 3: and then you get into your third, and then finally

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Speaker 3: do you when you when you get to a place

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Speaker 3: where you appreciate life and yours to say, when when

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Speaker 3: the nurse or the night nurse comes in at the

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Speaker 3: hospital and she says.

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Speaker 1: Hey, do you want me to take the child? So

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Speaker 1: you guys can.

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Speaker 3: Yes, you take it, because we know that these times

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Speaker 3: are precious for sleeping and catching up and just you know,

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Speaker 3: those type of situations, and that when you start to

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Speaker 3: have a family dynamic, you start to realize the way

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Speaker 3: you parent your your your sons is not the same

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Speaker 3: way you parent your daughters. The way you parent your oldest,

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Speaker 3: it's not the same way your parents youngest.

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Speaker 1: And then me being.

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Speaker 3: The middle child, I know, I never really bought into

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Speaker 3: I was the forgotten one or I felt no, no, no.

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Speaker 3: My parents did an unbelievable job with maintaining equality within

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Speaker 3: the household. And that's what I just planned to do,

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Speaker 3: like small things, especially during the holidays, you know, the

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Speaker 3: s'mores and you know, I do all these cool things

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Speaker 3: to the world, TikTokers, the snap chatters, instagrammars and YouTubers.

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Speaker 3: And when you do those things and try to give

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Speaker 3: your children the experiences and when you ask them, what

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Speaker 3: was the coolest thing about Daddy's jersey, you know, retirement

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Speaker 3: jersey ceremony.

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Speaker 1: Man, we got to just play with Daddy on the

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Speaker 1: football field. It's the simplicity.

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Speaker 3: It's not the extravagant you know, birthday parties and they

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Speaker 3: just want to pool and with having a lot I've

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Speaker 3: realized they don't even want the money, they just want you. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and I try to find time that, even when I

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Speaker 3: know that they won't me going back to that simplicity

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Speaker 3: or tapping into yourself to get recharged. I want to

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Speaker 3: make sure that I'm the best version so that when

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Speaker 3: they see me, I'm green.

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Speaker 2: Three Reluctance to marriage. Your parents have been married for

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Speaker 2: thirty years. The thing you brag about the most is

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Speaker 2: the steadiness of how they are. They were dependable, they

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Speaker 2: were consistent. You even know what TV shows they watched.

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Speaker 2: All of that was in place, and out of that environment,

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Speaker 2: you still grew into the uniqueness of who you were.

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Speaker 2: Yet at the same time, I've read that you were uncomfortable, undecided,

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00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:55,400
Speaker 2: or uneasy about getting married. Yeah. Yeah, what makes you

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Speaker 2: not want to give them the steadiness that you enjoyed?

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Speaker 3: It always is misunderstood about my thought process of marriage, right,

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Speaker 3: and I'm gonna try you cut your cut your steam on,

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Speaker 3: cut your iron on, and your iron cast. I think

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Speaker 3: for me, growing up in church, my expectations of what

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Speaker 3: marriage looked like was was was pristine.

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Speaker 1: Sister so and so and brother so and so.

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Speaker 3: We were not privy to what their issues was alongst

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Speaker 3: the household, that's what the adults protected and shielded the

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Speaker 3: children from. We just stopped seeing sister so and something

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Speaker 3: or brother so on. And you start to grow, you

349
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,879
Speaker 3: start to realize it's like, well, sister so and so

350
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 3: still here, and she just brought another brother so and so.

351
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 3: What brother so and so and still Hey, y'all don't

352
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 3: really know what's going on. They all have to say, now,

353
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 3: will you take a step back from spirituality religion and

354
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,919
Speaker 3: you go into the world and the people that you

355
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Speaker 3: look up to or you look at, and you start

356
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:20,359
Speaker 3: to be around, and you start to say, y'all, values

357
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,679
Speaker 3: of marriage ain't the same that I was used to,

358
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Speaker 3: Was it I tripping? Or is y'all tripping?

359
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:31,959
Speaker 2: So? Or is part of the education of the child

360
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Speaker 2: to learn conflict resolution and how to survive imperfect situation?

361
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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: See, because I think that you do your children and

363
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Speaker 2: injustice if you create this Aussie and Harriet life for

364
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Speaker 2: them and then they go out into the real world

365
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Speaker 2: and find out that doesn't really exist. Some of the

366
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 2: strength inner strength of your inner being comes from the

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Speaker 2: conflict and what went wrong, not what I learned more

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Speaker 2: about what went wrong in my life than about what

369
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 2: went right for sure, I learned. I learned strength, I

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00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 2: learned survival techniques. I learned forgiveness. I learned when you've

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00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 2: had enough and you need to walk away. All of

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00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:16,359
Speaker 2: those things I learned either through my own experiences or

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Speaker 2: watching my parents walk through their experiences. My father was

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Speaker 2: the kidney patient. He died when I was sixteen. I

375
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 2: watched my mother take care of him. I watched him

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Speaker 2: have good days, and I watched him have bad days.

377
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:31,880
Speaker 2: I watched him run his fiststool a wall. I found

378
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 2: out that having uniformity came at great price, at a

379
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Speaker 2: great price, and that you had to suck up some

380
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:43,719
Speaker 2: of your individualism and some of your attitudes and some

381
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 2: of your feelings for the betterment of the whole. I

382
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Speaker 2: tell people I've been married forty three years, and I

383
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 2: tell people we are married today because we believed in

384
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 2: something bigger than ourselves. And that is to say, the

385
00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 2: marriage requires that you stop being so fish in order

386
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 2: for the good of the whole. And not everybody is

387
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 2: mature enough to come into that selflessness so that you

388
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 2: can create that environment of safety for everybody. And when

389
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 2: I think about you, I'm guessing because this is my

390
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 2: first time meeting you, but when I think about you.

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Speaker 1: It's our second. I'll tell you the first.

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00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 2: Oh really, we got to talk about that? Okay, when

393
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 2: I think about you. The thing that really trips me

394
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:33,359
Speaker 2: out about you, it's hard to day as an athlete.

395
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Speaker 3: I was gonna let you finish, but you said a

396
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Speaker 3: certain amount of maturity.

397
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, right, I would say.

398
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:49,439
Speaker 3: Also, people aren't in relationships for the wrong reasons, right,

399
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:52,880
Speaker 3: I talk to people for that, right, right. And it's

400
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 3: my job to evoke emotion. I'm gonna stab, twist, I'm

401
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 3: gonna rub, I'm gonna, you know, console you. I'm gonna

402
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 3: tell you certain things, and I'm also gonna study and

403
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 3: observe you.

404
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 1: And I realized.

405
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:17,639
Speaker 3: A marital vow comes from religion. All the principles of

406
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 3: how to find a virtuous woman comes from religion and scripture.

407
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,680
Speaker 3: But why is that we only cutting out certain pieces

408
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 3: of the Bible to just fix our lifestyle. Well, we're

409
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 3: not applying the other things that God wanted us to do.

410
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,359
Speaker 2: So does that drive you away? No?

411
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 1: It doesn't, No, no, no, no, no, it doesn't. It doesn't

412
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 1: drive me away.

413
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,920
Speaker 3: What it tells me is that I have to make

414
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 3: sure that I'm making a sound decision. I can't fall

415
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,439
Speaker 3: victim to a person that doesn't have my same principles

416
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,400
Speaker 3: because knowing that.

417
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 1: That same whisper of that's not of God.

418
00:25:53,800 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 2: But why would it have been easier to find companionship money?

419
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 2: Come on here, Well you took it right out of

420
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 2: mountain when you were broker. Were you more sure that

421
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:10,639
Speaker 2: they were into you for you? Yes, it's part of

422
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 2: the problem and the reluctance coming from the fact that

423
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 2: now you can never be sure why yes, why behind?

424
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 2: Whether they are with you for a payday yes, or

425
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 2: whether they're with you for the prestige or the rooms

426
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 2: they get to go into, and you have to go

427
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 2: back in your mind and wonder what's the real reason?

428
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 1: And this is the thing Bishop, you won't find out

429
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,160
Speaker 1: until it's too late.

430
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

431
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, So when a person questions my marital faults, it's

432
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 3: not that I have an issue with marriage. I've been

433
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 3: in the situation to understand this. My desire of marriage

434
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 3: is not greater than my fear of divorce. Because when

435
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,640
Speaker 3: I come into a situation and I start to say, like, yo,

436
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,479
Speaker 3: I'm just this, you know, church going individual and marriage

437
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 3: is supposed to be here.

438
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 1: Then I go into a situation where people in.

439
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:14,880
Speaker 3: My locker room are married on Sundays, but on Fridays

440
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,920
Speaker 3: they say hold on, bro where y'all say y'all at yeah,

441
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 3: I'm gonna meet Y'll hold on. But that's not just

442
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 3: the whole thing. There's a vow that most people do

443
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 3: say when they do get married under the Christian law.

444
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 1: For better or for worse. Okay, So as I.

445
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 3: Study that and I start to realize, like yo, people

446
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:47,199
Speaker 3: who are a couple of goals, people who are showing

447
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 3: off their ring before they even understand truly their partner

448
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,879
Speaker 3: and is their partner battle tested.

449
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 2: Well, when you look at marriage, we have manage just

450
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 2: gotten through several iterations, gone through polygamy. Biblically, it's gone

451
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 2: through polygamy, It's gone through many many changes in terms

452
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 2: of what we require arranged marriages. Country solve problems by

453
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 2: marrying the daughter from this side the prince from that side.

454
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 2: Saw political conflicts. We have had a lot of iterations

455
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 2: of marriage and a lot of marriage that was different

456
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 2: from what we are going through now. My question to

457
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 2: you is this, if you can't feel safe marrying someone

458
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 2: for their motives about you, your finances, your wealth and success.

459
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:44,000
Speaker 2: Would you feel more comfortable if they were wealthy and

460
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 2: successful and didn't need what you had? No, you don't want.

461
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 3: That because I have that dynamic now, you don't want that.

462
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 3: See the thing about people love to assume yeah, like

463
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 3: they love to say, oh, just because you're married, you

464
00:28:56,480 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 3: just are selfish. No, No, I practice married or you

465
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 3: know displays in situations in my house. Right, with all

466
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 3: due respect of our relationship, I'm not just out here

467
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 3: coming in whenever I want to. I'm not just allowing

468
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 3: her or she's not just allowing me to do certain things.

469
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 3: When we have the children, we do do marital by

470
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 3: laws and principles.

471
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 2: Do you think an upwardly progressive woman couldn't do that?

472
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 3: What I'm saying is the issue now becomes not with the.

473
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 1: Expectation of marriage.

474
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 3: It's all the surrounding antics government right right. I know

475
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:48,479
Speaker 3: that it's not to say that it makes it, It

476
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 3: makes it awkward. It's just like if we were to

477
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 3: get married on the holy matrimony, and there the Bible

478
00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 3: does give perfect depictions of what will come under God's

479
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 3: eyes as an acceptable reason to divorce.

480
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 2: Why are you so adamant about that? But you weren't

481
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 2: adamant about having the kids.

482
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 3: That for me was something that I thought I was

483
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 3: building towards it.

484
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:18,320
Speaker 1: Do you see what I'm saying?

485
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 3: See the thing about my transition, like I said, knowing

486
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 3: right from wrong, but not doing right, that was one

487
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 3: of those things.

488
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 2: But I get that. I get that. I'm not judging that.

489
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 2: I'm saying that you are almost military about it when

490
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 2: it comes to marriage.

491
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 1: No, I'm not.

492
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 3: I'm just I just we haven't had a discussion about

493
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:43,680
Speaker 3: having children before marriage.

494
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 1: We just had a discussion before math.

495
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 2: So how did so I'm asking? So I'm asking how

496
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 2: did you reconcile in your mind spreading your seed in

497
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 2: other places that you don't have the commitment and not

498
00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 2: giving your child yes, giving them your attention, yes, giving

499
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 2: them your affection, but you didn't give them what you got, yes,

500
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 2: the stability. And do you ever think about that? And

501
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 2: how do you feel about that? I'm not talking about

502
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 2: for the cameras. I'm not talking about it in a book.

503
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 2: When you laying down at night at two o'clock in

504
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 2: the morning, do you ever think about I want to

505
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 2: walk in the next room and see you. I want

506
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 2: you to see what a healthy relationship looks like. I

507
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 2: want you to see what an argument looks like. I

508
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 2: want you to see what dispute looks like. The whole

509
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 2: idea of family is not just the biblical side of it,

510
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 2: and not the biblical side with having children. It's a

511
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 2: whole package. It's a whole package. And I'm wondering you

512
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 2: as a person and a person that has deep convictions.

513
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 2: I can tell already how do you manage the convictions

514
00:31:56,400 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 2: when you fail? And if you have grace for yourself

515
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 2: when you fall? Would you have grace for yourself in

516
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 2: a marriage? Would you have grace for her? Is there

517
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 2: grace for a marriage?

518
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 3: I'm walking in grace to refine my flaws. So there's

519
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 3: never been a situation that I did not go into

520
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 3: it intending to marry. It just didn't work out.

521
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 2: I see.

522
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 3: So I believe you do more harm being in a

523
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 3: toxic situation, so on off toxic fruit, giving off toxic

524
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 3: energy to children.

525
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 2: So what have you learned from that in your dating process?

526
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 2: That makes you slower to go that deep into the

527
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 2: relationship for fear of getting trapped with someone that you

528
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 2: can that you can have sex with and that sex

529
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 2: is great, but the love is weak.

530
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, the goodness, come on, that's that's that's what I've

531
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 3: identified taking a step back.

532
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 2: Let's talk about that.

533
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 1: Come on.

534
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's get with.

535
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 1: Let's cut that's what it was.

536
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were I was young. I get it.

537
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,720
Speaker 3: I came into a situation going back. I will keep

538
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 3: reitering certain things because it's now going to start to

539
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 3: make sense.

540
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 1: I knew right from wrong. I just didn't always do

541
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 1: right while I was young. I did not have the

542
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 1: eye to identify.

543
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 3: Certain qualities to say, oh, we need to we need

544
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 3: to attack this, not by pass, no, no, no, we need

545
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 3: to attack this because that right there is going to

546
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 3: show up, or that that monster is going to grow.

547
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 1: Bigger and bigger and bigger.

548
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 3: And as your partner, yeah, that's where you can lean

549
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 3: on me and I can lean on you.

550
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 2: Now you know what you want?

551
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 1: No for sure?

552
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 2: Okay, now you know what you want? Tell us what

553
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:10,799
Speaker 2: that looks like to you.

554
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 3: Now I know, not just what I want. I think

555
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 3: for each and every man, it's verbalizing what you want.

556
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 3: And that's the issue because being around men for a

557
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 3: long time in.

558
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 1: The sport of football, you get to see different sides.

559
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 1: You get to see the douche, the douche, the douche

560
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 1: to the strong.

561
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 3: Warrior that takes the field on Sundays. But then in

562
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:41,719
Speaker 3: the locker room, man, this silly joker. Look at this dude,

563
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 3: man and the fun loving guy that always gets a

564
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 3: bad rap, and it's like, that's not who he is,

565
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 3: but that's the character. And then you always hear these

566
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:56,600
Speaker 3: things about man, she just don't get me. But you've

567
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:59,400
Speaker 3: been married for seven years, Like what's so hard to

568
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:03,399
Speaker 3: just tell your significant other, your girlfriend, your fiance, your

569
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 3: wife that hey, you're not happy. And here's why. Man,

570
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 3: she not gonna understand, bro, And it's easy for you

571
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:14,720
Speaker 3: to say you ain't married, I said, and I respectfully

572
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:19,360
Speaker 3: take a step back, but those issues still are there.

573
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:24,280
Speaker 3: So for me, growing up, I was working towards bypassing

574
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 3: the things because man, she was fine or man, we

575
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 3: didn't know how to.

576
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:40,439
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna say this right, we didn't know.

577
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 3: How to properly discuss our issues without it becoming a fight.

578
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:49,319
Speaker 1: And this is the thing too.

579
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 3: Not until recently, when I say recently, within the last

580
00:35:55,000 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 3: two years, that I was able to verbies without sex.

581
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:07,680
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, emotional language often comes difficult for men. Yes,

582
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:12,239
Speaker 2: we were not encouraged to have emotional language. We were

583
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 2: encouraged to suck it up and take it like a

584
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 2: man and shut your mouth, and so breaking through those barriers.

585
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 2: I totally get it. But I'm wondering, do you realize

586
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 2: that I just gave you a chance for millions of people,

587
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 2: perhaps two or at least thousands, to see what your

588
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:36,240
Speaker 2: Cinderella looks like, and you didn't describe her. I have her,

589
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,840
Speaker 2: you have her, Yes, you have her. Now I'm in

590
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 2: a relationship. I'm in a committed relationship, and and you

591
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 2: feel like this is one.

592
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:47,319
Speaker 1: It is the one.

593
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:47,799
Speaker 2: It is.

594
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:52,799
Speaker 3: I'm not going nowhere else my fighting congratulations, no, thank you,

595
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 3: But this is the thing. So I can hear the

596
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,880
Speaker 3: comments now that's gonna say, But why you ain't MA

597
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 3: see those type of things? For me, it's still the journey,

598
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,240
Speaker 3: because for me, I need to have full conviction.

599
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 2: How long is it gonna take you?

600
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 1: I don't know when are you going to see your math?

601
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 2: I'm enjuryed talking to you.

602
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 3: I love, I promise you certain things. And I think

603
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 3: that's what church, yeah does, Yeah, they weaponize certain things

604
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:33,359
Speaker 3: and forces you to do certain things and you may

605
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 3: not be ready. And my grandmother was it don't take

606
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 3: that long to do nothing right.

607
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. But this is the discussions

608
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 1: that I have with my father.

609
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 2: But see, I'm not talking to you as a bishop,

610
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,680
Speaker 2: but I'm not talking to you as a pastor. I'm

611
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:50,759
Speaker 2: talking to you as a person. I want to know

612
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 2: who you are. We all get dressed and we break along.

613
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:59,280
Speaker 2: That doesn't stay long. We use the odorant that fades away.

614
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 2: We get our hair done, but it grows back. We

615
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 2: brush our teeth, but our brush stinks. So I want

616
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 2: to know what's up under there? Chapter number four wearing masks?

617
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 2: What's up? What's up under there? What's up under there?

618
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 2: The resilience that made you survive? For example, I've read

619
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:26,480
Speaker 2: about the correct you had at the height of your career.

620
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 2: You've run all these troph treats of Heisman trophies. You've

621
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 2: made a name for yourself for many teams. You've been

622
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 2: in the NFL. You've lived the dream. Then you get

623
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 2: a car wreck that was so devastating you end up

624
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 2: crawling out the back window. I wanted to meet the

625
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 2: guy that refused to die in the car and crawled

626
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 2: out the back window and got himself to some help.

627
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 2: I am fascinated by that. I wanted to meet the

628
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:01,160
Speaker 2: guy that refused to end his career, even though it

629
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 2: was eventually cut short. Okay, and the normal path and

630
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 2: trajectory of people who played the role that you played

631
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 2: in football, you were denied that. I wanted to meet

632
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 2: the guy that was did the bigotry that exists in

633
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,719
Speaker 2: sports and in the NFL, and how you had to

634
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:23,719
Speaker 2: maneuver through all of that. And I'm meeting him. I'm

635
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 2: meeting him. I'm meeting him. So I'm grinting because that's

636
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,359
Speaker 2: who I wanted to meet. I didn't want to have

637
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 2: a conversation to you with you from a pulpit. That's

638
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:34,879
Speaker 2: why I'm doing a talk show. That's why I'm doing

639
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 2: a podcast, so that I can meet you where you are,

640
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 2: without the preconceived idea of what I think, because we

641
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 2: all have masks and the preconceived of what you think.

642
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 2: I want you to tell me where you are, what

643
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 2: you feel at your age, and I want to tell

644
00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:00,440
Speaker 2: you that ten years from now, you will disagree with

645
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 2: half of the stuff you said. Now you see what

646
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 2: I'm saying. So if you make a decision, the hardest

647
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 2: thing about marriage is you're picking somebody at one stage

648
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 2: that you gotta.

649
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:17,439
Speaker 1: Stick with and choose yeah, in every stage.

650
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 2: At every stage, and you don't know what they're gonna be,

651
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 2: and you don't know if they're gonna get kidney of

652
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 2: these and you don't know if they're gonna get cancer,

653
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 2: and you don't know if they're gonna end up with

654
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 2: one leg, and you don't know if you're gonna end

655
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:29,239
Speaker 2: up with one leg. You don't know if you're gonna

656
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 2: end up impotent. You have to make that decision. So

657
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 2: there has to be something deeper than superficials that tie

658
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 2: you together. And she also has to be a woman

659
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 2: that can put up with baby mama drama and put

660
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 2: up with other kids and pick up your philanthropic side

661
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 2: of you. I read about you. I did my homework.

662
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 2: So there's a philanthropic side of you. There's the adoptive

663
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 2: side of you. There's the loving side of you. There's

664
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 2: a fighting side of you. There's a warrings side of you.

665
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 2: There's a relentless, tenacious side of you. When you look

666
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,359
Speaker 2: at all of those different parts, of you, and you've

667
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 2: got to marry one person. What skill sets do they

668
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 2: need to be able to accommodate those ten people that

669
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 2: are sitting in that chair. There's ten people sitting in

670
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 2: that chair at least that I can see. And I

671
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:25,280
Speaker 2: just just met you. So if we spend some time together,

672
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 2: I might find twenty five. Okay, yeah, I'm not saying

673
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:36,320
Speaker 2: you bout both no no, no, no, no, no, no personality disorder.

674
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:40,360
Speaker 2: I'm saying that we are a complicated species, and gifted

675
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 2: people are particularly complicated because you have things that you

676
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:46,799
Speaker 2: do on stage and you have to gear up to

677
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 2: do it, and you have to be a certain kind

678
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 2: of person to crawl out of a glass window in

679
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 2: a car wreck that could have killed you and get

680
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:57,640
Speaker 2: back on the field and play again. I wanted to

681
00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 2: meet that person and find out who he is. There's

682
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 2: something beating up under that sweater that is relentless, that

683
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 2: is tenacious, that is able to maneuver through a system

684
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,320
Speaker 2: that does not always lend itself to a black quarterback

685
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:23,520
Speaker 2: being successful. After one hundred and five years of the NFL,

686
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 2: you've only got thirty five people that are quarterbacks. And

687
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 2: I called a friend of mine and told him I

688
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:34,800
Speaker 2: was going to interview you. He just that. No, no,

689
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,440
Speaker 2: he went out like I was getting ready to interview

690
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:41,319
Speaker 2: prints or something. Oh no, he went absolutely crazy. He

691
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 2: says that you are arguably the top five quarter black

692
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 2: quarterbacks in the world. That's what he said about you. Okay,

693
00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 2: that's what he said about you. Okay, give him a

694
00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 2: bible for me. See, I will do that. I will

695
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:06,239
Speaker 2: do that. I had this conversation last night, okay, And

696
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 2: so he's schooling me because I'm not into athletics like that.

697
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 2: He's schooling me about about who I'm dealing with. That

698
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,279
Speaker 2: I'm dealing with the Michael Jordan of football and all.

699
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 2: He had all these analogy to describe who you were,

700
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 2: and I wanted to see who's up under there. I'll

701
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 2: tell you.

702
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 3: Tell me, well, the quality that she has to possess

703
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 3: is grace.

704
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:36,399
Speaker 1: Because what I realized for so.

705
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:40,840
Speaker 3: Long and was good at masking. Still am good at masking,

706
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 3: and I think anybody who is somebody is good at masking.

707
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 1: Where does warriors go to weak?

708
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 2: Yeah?

709
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 1: Where does lions go to lie?

710
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 2: Okay?

711
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 3: Where did eagles go to cry? And really kind of

712
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 3: check your scars? Like dang, bro, they got me, dog,

713
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 3: Oh my god, they got me. See, I couldn't do

714
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:07,280
Speaker 3: that publicly. And when you had odds with a person

715
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 3: that's supposed to recharge you.

716
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:17,719
Speaker 1: Now everywhere is about a feel. So while I was

717
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:18,399
Speaker 1: growing up.

718
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:25,960
Speaker 3: So growing up fast and realizing that yo, bypassing all

719
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 3: these things and saying like yo, above all, I realized

720
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:34,759
Speaker 3: I was hurt and I wasn't able to verbalize what

721
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 3: hurt me. Now, if I can go back to that

722
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:42,880
Speaker 3: situation and I can honestly say, I don't want to

723
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 3: point the finger, but maybe you hurt me.

724
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:48,320
Speaker 1: I was too prideful.

725
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 3: I was too like, man, man, I'm you know what

726
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 3: I'm saying Like, I'm like, I don't need you.

727
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:59,560
Speaker 1: I do need you, man, you like man, get out

728
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:00,919
Speaker 1: of here, but don't leave.

729
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

730
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 3: See as a man, it's oh my goodness for me.

731
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 3: Growing up, I was the bread winner. I was the

732
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 3: cash cow. I was the man of my house.

733
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 1: But always given respect to my father as that because

734
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:17,839
Speaker 1: he is.

735
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 3: Still the most influential man or person on this earth.

736
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 3: But even when he comes to me saying, son, I

737
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 3: need your mom, I need your brother, I need your partner,

738
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:34,280
Speaker 3: I need everybody around you, I need.

739
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,240
Speaker 1: It forces you to grow up fast.

740
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:40,240
Speaker 3: So all that to say, when I was in relationships

741
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:44,759
Speaker 3: having children, I was hurt. Did not know how to

742
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:48,960
Speaker 3: verbalize my hurt. I was masking hurt with sex, and

743
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 3: that was not getting to the nucleus of the situation.

744
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,440
Speaker 3: And now when you don't really say, hold on, I'm

745
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,440
Speaker 3: hurt baby before before no no, no, no, no no,

746
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 3: don't kiss like we need to sit.

747
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,799
Speaker 1: Down here, trauma, we need to talk.

748
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, because what you said the other day when you

749
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,879
Speaker 3: was walking out the kitchen and you threatened me or you.

750
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:14,880
Speaker 1: The hurt. I couldn't. I didn't know how to say it.

751
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 1: I know it needed to be said.

752
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 3: And even for her, I didn't think that the relationship

753
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:26,399
Speaker 3: that I was in we were listening to understand, we

754
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 3: were just listening to respond.

755
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 2: There's many things she said I totally relate to. One

756
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 2: of the interesting things is when you have to mask,

757
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 2: or you feel the need to mask, you can be

758
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 2: lonely in a crowded room. You can be laying in

759
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 2: the bed and be by yourself because the real part

760
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 2: of you, the part of you, not the part that's saying,

761
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 2: be the part that's really hurt. Nobody gets to meet him,

762
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:03,400
Speaker 2: and that's the person that God wants, that's the person

763
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:07,239
Speaker 2: that a good woman wants, and sooner or later, that's

764
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 2: the point, the person that your kids want. But you

765
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 2: spend all of your life masking that person. How do

766
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:19,240
Speaker 2: you unclothe him and still feel safe?

767
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 1: You know what's crazy?

768
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 3: This may sound like the most toxic thing that any

769
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 3: person ever has said, but my children sees that person

770
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:36,400
Speaker 3: and that's the only human beings on this earth that

771
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 3: I feel fully safe with.

772
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 1: And there you go.

773
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 3: My children see a saltside, the protector, the provider, the

774
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 3: come on, son, don't do that. Man, You gotta you

775
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 3: gotta a frown face. Matter of fact, you get you

776
00:47:56,960 --> 00:48:00,560
Speaker 3: get a green face today, Daddy, go get you ice cream.

777
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:02,799
Speaker 3: Matter of fact, we'll go get you a dinosaur. No,

778
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:05,080
Speaker 3: you know what, bump all that We're gonna go walk

779
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:05,440
Speaker 3: into the.

780
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:12,479
Speaker 1: Forest that you always like. You'll do that? Think you promise? Yeah?

781
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:13,239
Speaker 3: Kiss it?

782
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:16,279
Speaker 1: My children see that.

783
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:17,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

784
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:20,799
Speaker 1: So it may not make sense to you.

785
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:27,880
Speaker 3: You you y'all. I've identified early on that the only

786
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 3: people that I can truly trust and gets the most

787
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:35,000
Speaker 3: vulnerable side of me, it's my children, for right now,

788
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:39,080
Speaker 3: for right now, I'm learning for right now. Like I said, yeah,

789
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 3: in the last two years, but my.

790
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:45,719
Speaker 1: Lady has unlocked that for me.

791
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:55,200
Speaker 2: Chapter five, Fixing Relationships. When you talk about that hurt

792
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 2: and I still get the feeling of being hurt and

793
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:01,880
Speaker 2: using anger the camera fladge it because it's the easiest

794
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:06,480
Speaker 2: emotion for us to access. It's not just that they

795
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:08,359
Speaker 2: hurt you. There many times you hurt them.

796
00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:10,000
Speaker 1: Oh, without a doubt.

797
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, did you ever go back to fix it

798
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:18,120
Speaker 2: any of that? You stepped out on her, You broke

799
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:22,359
Speaker 2: her heart? She really did love you, Yep, you realized that.

800
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,960
Speaker 2: It took her two or three years. Maybe she's never

801
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 2: gotten over you. Did you go back to fix it?

802
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:34,279
Speaker 2: And if you did? Tell men out there, how do

803
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 2: you fix it when all hell breaks loose in your

804
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 2: love relation, all your marriage? What are the words the

805
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 2: emotional language that you say? Is it? I'm sorry? It

806
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:53,160
Speaker 2: is it? How do you fix it? You know?

807
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:56,399
Speaker 3: The same thing that I said that my partner will

808
00:49:56,520 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 3: need the word that I use. It's the same way

809
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 3: handle important relationships that mean a lot to me.

810
00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 1: And that's through grace.

811
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:10,480
Speaker 3: She I was raised in a way that at the

812
00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:15,279
Speaker 3: time she didn't even know that that life exists. Right

813
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 3: when we first started dating, my first mother, my children,

814
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:20,960
Speaker 3: she didn't want this.

815
00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:23,799
Speaker 1: She was just like, man, I just like the fact

816
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 1: that we I get.

817
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 3: You, but she already had a child and I was

818
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 3: willing to say I will take you and everything that

819
00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:36,920
Speaker 3: comes with you. She came a point in time that

820
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 3: was like she kept just saying I just want you,

821
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 3: but the reality is.

822
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:47,080
Speaker 2: I'm a package deal. Yeah, I get it.

823
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:49,360
Speaker 1: I get it, and to understand that.

824
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 3: It was the complexity of that, and it's like, oh,

825
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:56,280
Speaker 3: but you like being that character.

826
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 1: It's like, no, I need to be that character for

827
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 1: all of us. I'm not trying to.

828
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 3: Trick people. That's who I am. That's part of me.

829
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 3: That's one of those twenty five or teen you know

830
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. I think when you have the understanding

831
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:19,960
Speaker 3: and say I did have a strong case of hurting somebody,

832
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:24,560
Speaker 3: it takes time and it takes grace. And there's been

833
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:29,799
Speaker 3: multiple attempts to try to talk. It's been multiple attempts

834
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 3: to try to come to the understanding. As you just

835
00:51:32,719 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 3: told me, I'm trying to come down to you or

836
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 3: I'm trying to come up to you to get on

837
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:38,359
Speaker 3: your level.

838
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:40,439
Speaker 1: And it's still hurt there.

839
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:45,680
Speaker 3: And I will be grace gracious throughout the whole process

840
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:50,080
Speaker 3: to when she finally or when the people finally want

841
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 3: to come around and say, you know what, let's lay

842
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:56,359
Speaker 3: it all out there, no judgment. I'm gonna let you

843
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 3: know how you feel or how you made me feel,

844
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,719
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna tell you what you did and what

845
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:08,720
Speaker 3: spun the whole thing, because that's the thing that was needed.

846
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:13,399
Speaker 3: And we didn't have communication when there was conflict. We

847
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:17,719
Speaker 3: had communication, but everything was oh man, you want that too, Okay, cool,

848
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:20,920
Speaker 3: whatever she want, matter of fact, Oh yeah, that is heart,

849
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:24,719
Speaker 3: matter of fact. I'm gonna get a that's easy to communicate.

850
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:31,400
Speaker 3: Then yeah, things not present, not presence, Yeah yeah yeah.

851
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 3: So when you have conflict, it started to become even

852
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:40,759
Speaker 3: more difficult to communicate. And that's when I needed you

853
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:44,040
Speaker 3: the most, or that's when I need you the most,

854
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:49,840
Speaker 3: and when I felt hurt by when I needed you

855
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 3: the most.

856
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 1: You weren't there.

857
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 2: You know what's funny about men. We can be hurt

858
00:52:57,000 --> 00:53:01,319
Speaker 2: and nobody know it. H We can be hurt and

859
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 2: still function. We can be hurt and still make love.

860
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:05,520
Speaker 2: We can be hurt and still by you the dress.

861
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:07,960
Speaker 2: We can be hurt and take care of Valentine. Then

862
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 2: we can be hurt and do all kinds of things

863
00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:14,040
Speaker 2: and not display it at all, which is scary as

864
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:16,880
Speaker 2: I'll get out, because you can't look at my face

865
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:19,080
Speaker 2: and tell what's going on in my heart or in

866
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 2: my head. But to the degree that you have been

867
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 2: able to liberate or apologize, or repair or stitch or

868
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:31,239
Speaker 2: glue or staple together the hearts of the people, the

869
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:34,160
Speaker 2: trail of blood you left behind you, how has that?

870
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 2: How has that healed you?

871
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 3: That's why it's taking time, because I don't want a

872
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:44,319
Speaker 3: previous cut.

873
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:46,439
Speaker 1: To bleed on somebody else.

874
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,239
Speaker 2: So you're saying to me in a way, you're not

875
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 2: single enough to get married, What do you mean? What

876
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,840
Speaker 2: I mean by that is you're still healing from the

877
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:01,320
Speaker 2: things you've been through and you're trying to get hold

878
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:04,960
Speaker 2: enough Yes single men's whole. Yeah, So you're trying to

879
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:08,880
Speaker 2: get hold enough parts that needs to do. Yeah, yes, yeah,

880
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:11,280
Speaker 2: So you don't want to get married with two thirds

881
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:13,880
Speaker 2: of you and one third of you living in regret,

882
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,799
Speaker 2: and one third of you having flashbacks, one third of

883
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:17,840
Speaker 2: you having memory.

884
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 1: Being no, no, no, no, no, No, No, let's cut down

885
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 1: to the nitty or a lot of me.

886
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:28,399
Speaker 3: When I'm triggered, I leave and you will not know

887
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:30,280
Speaker 3: where I'm going because I can leave.

888
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:32,239
Speaker 1: My phone, I can leave you.

889
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:36,959
Speaker 3: I can leave you and I can be gone.

890
00:54:37,239 --> 00:54:39,040
Speaker 1: I've never did a drug or day of my life.

891
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:46,080
Speaker 3: I've never fell victim to alcoholism. I drink wine, but

892
00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:49,000
Speaker 3: that's not really like h It's not hard liquor. Never

893
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 3: drink hard liquor. That wasn't something that I always had

894
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:54,600
Speaker 3: a natural spirit. But that boy can't.

895
00:54:55,400 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 1: He's just lively. My thing? What sex?

896
00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:08,960
Speaker 3: And when I leave you, the ego in me is

897
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:15,879
Speaker 3: gonna say what you ain't gonna do, sweetheart, somebody else will.

898
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:18,759
Speaker 1: And that's what I'm trying to make hole.

899
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:23,399
Speaker 2: So that makes sense to me from this perspective. You've

900
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:27,800
Speaker 2: always had a stage. Yeah, You've always had an audience.

901
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:30,840
Speaker 2: You've always had a clap, whether it was Easter Sunday,

902
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:34,799
Speaker 2: whether it was football, whether it was a girlfriend that

903
00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 2: you go from a stadium full of people to an

904
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:40,560
Speaker 2: audience of one or two or whatever you whatever you

905
00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:45,120
Speaker 2: were into, we ain't going there. But whatever it was,

906
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:49,439
Speaker 2: you've always had an audience. When all the audiences are

907
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:56,319
Speaker 2: gone and it's just you what's going on in here.

908
00:55:56,520 --> 00:56:03,040
Speaker 3: I'm at peace the most, but there's a lot of

909
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:10,359
Speaker 3: me that asked the question, are you gonna fight for me?

910
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:15,560
Speaker 3: Because when I was vulnerable to the individuals that's family,

911
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:19,479
Speaker 3: that's friends, that's partners, Are you gonna fight for That's

912
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:24,160
Speaker 3: what I'm most scared of because everybody in love, everybody

913
00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:28,880
Speaker 3: wanna walk down to everybody wanna everybody wanna do all

914
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:31,400
Speaker 3: the festive marital stuff.

915
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:33,800
Speaker 1: That the Bible don't even say.

916
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 3: And I when I call it out, I'm like, yo,

917
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:38,759
Speaker 3: The Bible ain't never mention no honeymoon.

918
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:40,719
Speaker 1: The Bible ain't never mentioned the ring.

919
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:44,640
Speaker 3: The Bible ain't never mentioned spending millions and thousands of

920
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:49,360
Speaker 3: dollars on a marriage celebration. The Bible didn't say a

921
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:50,920
Speaker 3: lot of these things. But if we're going off of

922
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:53,600
Speaker 3: the Bibles of Cord, there's a lot of worldly things

923
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:57,120
Speaker 3: that have crept into it. So now for me, above all,

924
00:56:57,640 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 3: going back to the most and packful vow for me,

925
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:03,000
Speaker 3: I want to.

926
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:08,480
Speaker 1: Know, without a shadow of a doubt, for better or

927
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:09,040
Speaker 1: for worse.

928
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:11,440
Speaker 2: And how is that evidence?

929
00:57:16,040 --> 00:57:18,200
Speaker 1: You will never know? That's the thing.

930
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:21,320
Speaker 2: Okay, see because on one hand, you are telling me

931
00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 2: you have to have somebody who relates to your history

932
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:30,640
Speaker 2: but also can handle your destiny. Okay, your history where

933
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:33,400
Speaker 2: you've been, or they won't have the same values and

934
00:57:33,440 --> 00:57:36,600
Speaker 2: the same convictions that have been inbred in you, both

935
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:41,520
Speaker 2: at home and at church. And yet your destiny, the

936
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:44,520
Speaker 2: man you hope to be, the man you are becoming,

937
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:47,240
Speaker 2: the man that you, by the way, will spend your

938
00:57:47,280 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 2: whole life becoming that by the time you get through

939
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:54,600
Speaker 2: working on him, you will be old because there's always

940
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:56,960
Speaker 2: some work to be done. When Paul said I finished

941
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:59,600
Speaker 2: my course, he was getting ready to die. It's a

942
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:04,080
Speaker 2: long walk into where you're trying to go. And you

943
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:06,920
Speaker 2: want somebody who can walk with you at every stage,

944
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,840
Speaker 2: and they want somebody who can walk with them at

945
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:13,280
Speaker 2: every stage. So so I'm gonna get off the relationships

946
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:14,920
Speaker 2: and I like where you're at.

947
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:19,400
Speaker 3: Okay, but don't just walk with me when it's for

948
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:22,280
Speaker 3: the betterment of you. Yeah, I got it, and that's

949
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:29,200
Speaker 3: I got been. As long as people understand that when

950
00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:31,240
Speaker 3: you are hurt, come get me.

951
00:58:32,920 --> 00:58:37,320
Speaker 1: I may tell man, get the hell away.

952
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 2: But don't pay that no attention.

953
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:39,360
Speaker 1: That's that's the that's a character.

954
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 3: But then some will say, oh, that's toxic, miss me

955
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 3: with that, it's like no masculinity.

956
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:50,920
Speaker 2: It's really a test. It's will you come get me.

957
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:55,120
Speaker 2: It's really a test because your definition of love is

958
00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:58,240
Speaker 2: proven by you the other person coming to get you,

959
00:58:58,520 --> 00:59:00,400
Speaker 2: and that way you don't have to worry about it.

960
00:59:00,440 --> 00:59:04,280
Speaker 2: Abandonment checkmate, I got you.

961
00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:06,640
Speaker 1: I take you through these courses just to see I

962
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,320
Speaker 1: want it. This is the only way I can find out.

963
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean you.

964
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:12,200
Speaker 1: Call it how I see it.

965
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:12,440
Speaker 2: Man.

966
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:15,360
Speaker 3: My father ain't raise no food now and I don't

967
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 3: got food before.

968
00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:19,360
Speaker 1: So for me, I need to sit up here and

969
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:21,640
Speaker 1: say like, hey, hold on, I hate to do this

970
00:59:21,680 --> 00:59:28,280
Speaker 1: to your baby. I gotta see you know what you

971
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:28,720
Speaker 1: got to me?

972
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:29,720
Speaker 2: The good?

973
00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:34,800
Speaker 3: But I really don't know. And that's what I'm afraid of.

974
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 3: That's not to say that I can't come along or

975
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:41,800
Speaker 3: come around to being that or everybody to understand that.

976
00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:43,440
Speaker 1: It's like, Yo, this journey.

977
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:44,880
Speaker 2: It's a journey.

978
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:49,840
Speaker 1: It's a journey, but it's lopsided. Yeah, until it's not.

979
00:59:51,040 --> 00:59:55,160
Speaker 2: It's a journey and it's slopsided both ways from time

980
00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:55,520
Speaker 2: to time.

981
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:59,080
Speaker 1: Oh yes, sir, yeah, tell yes, without a.

982
00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:02,440
Speaker 2: Shot, had it both ways room time to time, and

983
01:00:02,920 --> 01:00:05,480
Speaker 2: you you, and in the midst of all of that,

984
01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 2: your career are in it. So you almost got two

985
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:14,000
Speaker 2: eyes anyway, because you are to a degree married to

986
01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:18,160
Speaker 2: your professional profession or you're not any good headed. Yeah okay,

987
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 2: So I get what you're saying there, and you have

988
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:23,920
Speaker 2: to have somebody who's willing to share you, and now

989
01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 2: you lose you and still come after you. Am I

990
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:28,640
Speaker 2: am I talking to your language?

991
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:30,040
Speaker 1: I mean fluid?

992
01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:31,360
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah.

993
01:00:31,640 --> 01:00:34,000
Speaker 1: Flu Because it's hard.

994
01:00:34,600 --> 01:00:39,960
Speaker 3: It's hard to communicate with people that do not see

995
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:44,720
Speaker 3: your realism because if you can't cope with my lifestyle,

996
01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 3: it's hard for you to understand what I'm going through.

997
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:53,680
Speaker 3: I dealt with that with my father, the man my

998
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:59,320
Speaker 3: hero today. Man, if my dad says, son, I need

999
01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:08,400
Speaker 3: you to jump off this cliff, pop for real, Bet

1000
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:13,400
Speaker 3: I'm doing it? That's how much control will he ever

1001
01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:16,360
Speaker 3: use that? No, I'm using that as an example of

1002
01:01:16,480 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 3: how locked in me and my father is. But even

1003
01:01:20,680 --> 01:01:24,600
Speaker 3: in the most tenderest moments, there's a disconnect because it's

1004
01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:27,560
Speaker 3: like Pop, Now you go to the grocery store, Man,

1005
01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:33,760
Speaker 3: don't nobody know you? You lost normal, and I don't want

1006
01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:38,720
Speaker 3: to disrespect you like pop man. I just signed a

1007
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:42,760
Speaker 3: hundred million dollars bro I gave the church twenty million

1008
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:48,040
Speaker 3: of that, constantly giving back and everything everybody.

1009
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:51,680
Speaker 1: Won't for me is something. What if I need something?

1010
01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:55,919
Speaker 1: Who go? You see what I'm saying? I need you

1011
01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 1: and you just leave? Oh, because I am besed you.

1012
01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:03,320
Speaker 2: Now You're gonna pull the preacher out of me. I've

1013
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:05,320
Speaker 2: been good all this time. Now you've got to mess

1014
01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:08,520
Speaker 2: me out. The kind of love you're talking about comes

1015
01:02:08,520 --> 01:02:13,480
Speaker 2: from across that never lets you down, that always comes

1016
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:16,920
Speaker 2: for you, that's always there for you, That is that graceful,

1017
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:20,120
Speaker 2: That is that merciful, even if the cross generates through

1018
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:24,240
Speaker 2: the person you're married to. That that kind of God love,

1019
01:02:24,400 --> 01:02:28,200
Speaker 2: that a gape love is what you are describing. That

1020
01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:30,200
Speaker 2: kind of love that gives you peace and makes you

1021
01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 2: lay down at night and rest within yourself and be

1022
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 2: content within yourself. And you don't need somebody to tell

1023
01:02:35,760 --> 01:02:38,080
Speaker 2: you what's your name and all that kind of stuff.

1024
01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 2: You've got somebody on the inside who has identified you,

1025
01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:46,840
Speaker 2: and you have been identified. You are being identified as

1026
01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:50,040
Speaker 2: you are being described right now. Some good some bad

1027
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:54,400
Speaker 2: articles coming out some good, some bad. Posts coming out

1028
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:58,120
Speaker 2: some good, some bad. But the identification that counts is

1029
01:02:58,160 --> 01:03:01,120
Speaker 2: the identification you get from God, because that is the

1030
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:05,480
Speaker 2: identification that you fight off all the other identifications with,

1031
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:09,440
Speaker 2: because I am who he says I am, I am

1032
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:14,200
Speaker 2: who he says I am, and understanding that, and understanding

1033
01:03:14,240 --> 01:03:16,640
Speaker 2: that you can climb up in his lap and be

1034
01:03:16,680 --> 01:03:18,920
Speaker 2: a little boy one minute, and then you can go

1035
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:22,760
Speaker 2: out here and play football and make a touchdown if

1036
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:25,320
Speaker 2: you need to, or go out here and do a

1037
01:03:25,360 --> 01:03:28,160
Speaker 2: show and have all kinds of crazy ratings and all

1038
01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:30,480
Speaker 2: of that kind of stuff. Some of the stuff you're

1039
01:03:30,520 --> 01:03:33,120
Speaker 2: asking her for, you're asking the wrong person.

1040
01:03:34,160 --> 01:03:37,040
Speaker 1: I'm just using it as an example.

1041
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:37,640
Speaker 2: I know.

1042
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:41,440
Speaker 3: I guess that the biggest misconception because when you say.

1043
01:03:44,440 --> 01:03:47,040
Speaker 1: You go to recharge, that's where I go.

1044
01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:50,360
Speaker 3: And it's so sacred to me. Okay, I don't be

1045
01:03:50,440 --> 01:03:54,000
Speaker 3: wanting people to see that, right. I don't want to.

1046
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:55,960
Speaker 3: I don't want people to hear my prayers that I'm

1047
01:03:55,960 --> 01:03:59,920
Speaker 3: praying for. I know I'm flawed, but I had a

1048
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:03,800
Speaker 3: praying grandmother, and I lost earlier this year. My mother

1049
01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:08,440
Speaker 3: constantly praise for me. I know that it's in my heart.

1050
01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:13,200
Speaker 3: I know how to go to the man above and

1051
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:16,280
Speaker 3: cast down in just these demons and like, I ain't

1052
01:04:16,640 --> 01:04:17,120
Speaker 3: gotta talk.

1053
01:04:17,400 --> 01:04:17,760
Speaker 1: What's up?

1054
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:17,960
Speaker 2: Bro?

1055
01:04:18,920 --> 01:04:22,120
Speaker 1: I need you see those things? People just look at

1056
01:04:22,200 --> 01:04:23,200
Speaker 1: the funky Friday.

1057
01:04:23,920 --> 01:04:27,479
Speaker 3: And I'm not being unrealistic to a specific individual, because

1058
01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:30,320
Speaker 3: you're absolutely right, but.

1059
01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:31,360
Speaker 2: I shell.

1060
01:04:32,920 --> 01:04:38,680
Speaker 3: The vulnerable to him because it is sleepless nice And

1061
01:04:38,720 --> 01:04:42,560
Speaker 3: why are you always over there? It's like, man, I

1062
01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:47,880
Speaker 3: gotta talk. I gotta see a sign. Man, I'm uneasy,

1063
01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:53,600
Speaker 3: and before I do what has been easy for so long,

1064
01:04:55,680 --> 01:05:00,400
Speaker 3: show a sign, just God? Like, where am Like?

1065
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:00,600
Speaker 2: Well?

1066
01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:06,280
Speaker 1: Why am I mad? And all the time? Rage? Nothing

1067
01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:07,080
Speaker 1: make me happy?

1068
01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:08,200
Speaker 2: Mm hmm?

1069
01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:11,800
Speaker 1: Well why am I yearning?

1070
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:11,960
Speaker 2: That?

1071
01:05:12,240 --> 01:05:15,040
Speaker 1: Like it's some conversation.

1072
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:17,960
Speaker 2: I'm glad you brought up the rage.

1073
01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:20,720
Speaker 3: Uh.

1074
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:26,440
Speaker 2: I spoke at Saint Petersburg, Florida years ago and the

1075
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:30,480
Speaker 2: subject was the danger of anger. And you could literally

1076
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:34,400
Speaker 2: feel heat coming up from the altar because there's so

1077
01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:38,200
Speaker 2: much suppressed anger. Have you You don't have to discuss

1078
01:05:38,240 --> 01:05:42,480
Speaker 2: what it is, but have you identified the things that

1079
01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:47,360
Speaker 2: you had that make you angry?

1080
01:05:48,120 --> 01:05:50,120
Speaker 1: It's her mm hmm.

1081
01:05:51,760 --> 01:06:02,640
Speaker 5: Checkmate, Okay, do you want to so own yeah that.

1082
01:06:04,080 --> 01:06:09,040
Speaker 2: It didn't exist before her or or are hers?

1083
01:06:09,360 --> 01:06:12,880
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, no, there's no herd like the first

1084
01:06:13,480 --> 01:06:14,720
Speaker 1: baby mother that I was with.

1085
01:06:14,920 --> 01:06:16,280
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, it's.

1086
01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:19,600
Speaker 3: Her, and I just want her to know that, like

1087
01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:24,120
Speaker 3: I love you respectfully for who you are to me,

1088
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:25,520
Speaker 3: what we've been through.

1089
01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:35,080
Speaker 1: I've moved on, but there's still rage because I know.

1090
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:40,240
Speaker 3: What you're doing. You don't have to do that. I

1091
01:06:40,240 --> 01:06:44,120
Speaker 3: could be your greatest asset, and I know I did

1092
01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:44,760
Speaker 3: my part and.

1093
01:06:44,840 --> 01:06:52,280
Speaker 1: Hurting you, But don't don't. Don't. Don't play with me. Please,

1094
01:06:52,280 --> 01:06:52,960
Speaker 1: don't play with me.

1095
01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:58,040
Speaker 3: You played with me way too many times in my face.

1096
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:02,840
Speaker 3: As a man of power. You don't want to get

1097
01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:06,440
Speaker 3: embarrassed in front of people. You did that way too

1098
01:07:06,440 --> 01:07:12,280
Speaker 3: many times as a man as a provider. You don't

1099
01:07:12,320 --> 01:07:16,919
Speaker 3: want to be separated from your kids. You ain't God,

1100
01:07:17,680 --> 01:07:19,760
Speaker 3: Why are you telling me when and I can and

1101
01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:20,280
Speaker 3: I can't.

1102
01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:24,800
Speaker 1: As a man, I.

1103
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:27,960
Speaker 3: Will go to the end of the earth to protect you,

1104
01:07:29,120 --> 01:07:31,520
Speaker 3: and you not respecting.

1105
01:07:30,920 --> 01:07:34,840
Speaker 2: That as a man. What do you tell your daughter,

1106
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:38,680
Speaker 2: your oldest daughter, who I'm told has issues with you,

1107
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:43,520
Speaker 2: How are you winning her back? Or have you given

1108
01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:47,280
Speaker 2: up on winning them? No? Never given up never given up. Never.

1109
01:07:49,320 --> 01:07:56,680
Speaker 3: She's in a very complex situation because on one hand,

1110
01:07:57,040 --> 01:08:04,200
Speaker 3: what's in her blood is loyalty, and she believes by

1111
01:08:05,120 --> 01:08:09,360
Speaker 3: being with me is disloyal.

1112
01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:13,600
Speaker 2: To her, to her mother. Correct.

1113
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:19,639
Speaker 3: And I've always had the thought that our relationship, which

1114
01:08:19,760 --> 01:08:22,960
Speaker 3: was great at one point and it went through a

1115
01:08:23,120 --> 01:08:28,000
Speaker 3: very murky, muddy time because it was murky for her

1116
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:31,800
Speaker 3: and she was just a byproduct of that and witnessing

1117
01:08:31,840 --> 01:08:37,639
Speaker 3: it it all being of age to understand daddy cheated

1118
01:08:37,640 --> 01:08:44,639
Speaker 3: on mommy. But this is where uh huh, I'll take

1119
01:08:44,640 --> 01:08:45,000
Speaker 3: that one.

1120
01:08:46,360 --> 01:08:51,479
Speaker 1: I'll take that one, because there's more the story.

1121
01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:57,519
Speaker 3: There's principles that was always bestowed upon me.

1122
01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:02,559
Speaker 1: Going back to sister so and so is what brother

1123
01:09:02,640 --> 01:09:05,560
Speaker 1: so and so? How we don't see brothers Sister so

1124
01:09:05,720 --> 01:09:07,400
Speaker 1: and so brings now the brother?

1125
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:12,920
Speaker 3: Uh go put your offering in the bucket. And in

1126
01:09:12,960 --> 01:09:18,960
Speaker 3: my household, I was always taught to shelter children from

1127
01:09:19,960 --> 01:09:20,720
Speaker 3: why are we doing it?

1128
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:22,080
Speaker 2: No, let's do it?

1129
01:09:22,280 --> 01:09:25,559
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I'm using example. Okay, why are we doing

1130
01:09:25,560 --> 01:09:26,240
Speaker 1: this in front of the key?

1131
01:09:26,560 --> 01:09:29,400
Speaker 2: So let me ask you a question. If you got

1132
01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:32,680
Speaker 2: a camera over there, if there were one thing that

1133
01:09:32,760 --> 01:09:34,840
Speaker 2: you wanted to get through to her. You may have

1134
01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:38,200
Speaker 2: said it before, you may have tried to express it before,

1135
01:09:38,280 --> 01:09:41,080
Speaker 2: but if there were one thing that you wanted to

1136
01:09:41,120 --> 01:09:43,639
Speaker 2: get through to her, because it's obvious that you love

1137
01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:46,800
Speaker 2: her and you care about her, and that that's a

1138
01:09:46,840 --> 01:09:51,280
Speaker 2: sore spot, look into the camera like it's her and

1139
01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:53,360
Speaker 2: tell her what you want her to do.

1140
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:57,760
Speaker 3: I think, with all respect of my relationship, you know

1141
01:09:58,439 --> 01:10:01,639
Speaker 3: she knows this, and this is not something that I've

1142
01:10:02,320 --> 01:10:06,519
Speaker 3: not disclosed or this is the first time. But I

1143
01:10:06,680 --> 01:10:13,680
Speaker 3: owe a service and will always be there. But all

1144
01:10:13,720 --> 01:10:18,760
Speaker 3: I'm asking in return is we have to stop the

1145
01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:21,240
Speaker 3: differences of certain things.

1146
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:27,920
Speaker 1: Just have grace, please, Like we're.

1147
01:10:27,080 --> 01:10:31,920
Speaker 3: Too far in to be having these situations. And for

1148
01:10:32,080 --> 01:10:33,400
Speaker 3: the longest.

1149
01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:39,559
Speaker 1: I've protected yeah, the world.

1150
01:10:40,280 --> 01:10:46,599
Speaker 2: Chapter number six being Superman. So when you get through

1151
01:10:46,760 --> 01:10:50,080
Speaker 2: with your cape in your boots and your phone booth

1152
01:10:51,240 --> 01:10:56,040
Speaker 2: and all of that stuff, who comes to get you?

1153
01:11:03,479 --> 01:11:06,120
Speaker 2: Jesus said, foxes had holes the birds of their half,

1154
01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:07,880
Speaker 2: and that's the son of man has no place to

1155
01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:09,960
Speaker 2: lay his head. He didn't lay his head deil, and

1156
01:11:10,040 --> 01:11:14,240
Speaker 2: he laid his head on across Who where do you

1157
01:11:14,360 --> 01:11:18,200
Speaker 2: lay your head? And who comes to get you? And

1158
01:11:19,240 --> 01:11:22,800
Speaker 2: is it your fault that they don't come because you

1159
01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:27,360
Speaker 2: have trained everybody around you that you are the problems solvers.

1160
01:11:27,960 --> 01:11:33,320
Speaker 3: No, it's not my fault because in that way, it's

1161
01:11:33,400 --> 01:11:37,559
Speaker 3: my fault because nobody will ever know I've mastered.

1162
01:11:38,840 --> 01:11:42,120
Speaker 2: That's something fair, though. How can you expect people to

1163
01:11:42,360 --> 01:11:44,559
Speaker 2: respond to a scream that they never heard?

1164
01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:46,679
Speaker 1: That's where does warriors go to weak?

1165
01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:47,240
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1166
01:11:47,360 --> 01:11:49,840
Speaker 3: Where does lions go to lie? Where their eagles go

1167
01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:53,240
Speaker 3: to cry? Yeah, that's that's the warriors battle.

1168
01:11:53,400 --> 01:11:53,519
Speaker 2: Like.

1169
01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:55,680
Speaker 3: He's like, yo, bro, when you're on a battlefield, you

1170
01:11:55,720 --> 01:11:58,160
Speaker 3: cant sit up there and hear somebody crying and.

1171
01:11:58,080 --> 01:12:00,599
Speaker 1: Like, hey, hey, hey man, shoot that gun what you're doing.

1172
01:12:00,760 --> 01:12:04,240
Speaker 2: But the vulnerability is if this building is on fire

1173
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:07,800
Speaker 2: and somebody is trapped on this floor, if they don't scream,

1174
01:12:07,840 --> 01:12:10,599
Speaker 2: they're going to burn up in here. Now, if your

1175
01:12:10,680 --> 01:12:14,200
Speaker 2: life depends on your future, depends on your happiness depends

1176
01:12:14,200 --> 01:12:18,360
Speaker 2: on it, your wholeness depends on it, you better get

1177
01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:19,360
Speaker 2: some vocal cords.

1178
01:12:20,680 --> 01:12:24,040
Speaker 3: But there's been times where nobody was seeing the signs

1179
01:12:24,439 --> 01:12:27,040
Speaker 3: and I said, like, you keep coming back in a

1180
01:12:27,080 --> 01:12:30,360
Speaker 3: different ways. Yes, I've been screaming to the people who

1181
01:12:30,479 --> 01:12:33,360
Speaker 3: I trust the most that it is not.

1182
01:12:35,080 --> 01:12:37,200
Speaker 1: Where you going way? I need?

1183
01:12:37,320 --> 01:12:37,400
Speaker 2: What?

1184
01:12:38,760 --> 01:12:42,960
Speaker 3: Hey, he may not my boy, I need And then

1185
01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:46,200
Speaker 3: it goes So when I go back into my space,

1186
01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:49,200
Speaker 3: figure it out.

1187
01:12:49,320 --> 01:12:51,160
Speaker 2: How long do you go back in your space and

1188
01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:52,719
Speaker 2: stay before you come out again?

1189
01:12:53,600 --> 01:12:57,439
Speaker 3: It's not a tangible time all the time. Okay, it

1190
01:12:57,439 --> 01:13:00,280
Speaker 3: could be days, it could be weeks.

1191
01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:04,479
Speaker 2: It could be monthster years, oh my goodness, and nobody.

1192
01:13:04,479 --> 01:13:07,400
Speaker 2: So we're left with the actor. We're lift with, We're

1193
01:13:07,479 --> 01:13:13,080
Speaker 2: left the shell. That's who I didn't want to talk to.

1194
01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:15,280
Speaker 2: I didn't want to talk to the shell. I wanted

1195
01:13:15,280 --> 01:13:17,360
Speaker 2: to talk to the man. And I'm getting a talk

1196
01:13:17,439 --> 01:13:19,720
Speaker 2: to them, No, for sure, and I'm I'm thrilled with that.

1197
01:13:21,680 --> 01:13:25,080
Speaker 2: There are other people out there who are interested in

1198
01:13:25,160 --> 01:13:30,439
Speaker 2: the man. Being famous does complicated It does complicate it.

1199
01:13:30,760 --> 01:13:34,719
Speaker 2: Having any kind of wealth complicates it. Having people debate

1200
01:13:34,800 --> 01:13:38,920
Speaker 2: you like your ping pong ball complicates it because when

1201
01:13:38,960 --> 01:13:42,240
Speaker 2: people see you in certain TV, they don't think you're

1202
01:13:42,240 --> 01:13:46,400
Speaker 2: a person. They a lot of people see you as

1203
01:13:46,400 --> 01:13:49,760
Speaker 2: an opportunity more than they see you as an individual.

1204
01:13:50,960 --> 01:13:53,599
Speaker 2: Can part again, a lot of people see you as

1205
01:13:53,640 --> 01:13:56,720
Speaker 2: an opportunity more than they see you as an individual.

1206
01:13:57,160 --> 01:14:00,000
Speaker 1: Though, can you say it one more time.

1207
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:04,000
Speaker 2: Okay, A lot of people see you as an opportunity

1208
01:14:04,080 --> 01:14:05,519
Speaker 2: because you are where they want to be.

1209
01:14:06,160 --> 01:14:12,320
Speaker 3: So a lot of people who I trusted see me

1210
01:14:12,479 --> 01:14:16,440
Speaker 3: more as an opportunity than an individual.

1211
01:14:16,840 --> 01:14:21,479
Speaker 2: Then you have to find somebody You're not hearing me.

1212
01:14:23,280 --> 01:14:27,160
Speaker 1: By the time I found out, it was too late.

1213
01:14:27,840 --> 01:14:30,280
Speaker 2: That was in this is now. You have to find

1214
01:14:30,400 --> 01:14:36,960
Speaker 2: somebody who's not interested in all of that stuff, who

1215
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:42,000
Speaker 2: really gets to see you. First of all, can hear

1216
01:14:42,200 --> 01:14:46,920
Speaker 2: your scream on the frequency you're sending it is a sign?

1217
01:14:47,080 --> 01:14:51,120
Speaker 2: That's the one. And then then have the courage to

1218
01:14:51,240 --> 01:14:55,599
Speaker 2: be vulnerable enough to face the possibility of rejection again

1219
01:14:56,400 --> 01:14:58,280
Speaker 2: to go out there and get it. And is it

1220
01:14:58,360 --> 01:15:01,559
Speaker 2: worth it? Yeah, I think it's worth it. But you

1221
01:15:01,680 --> 01:15:04,439
Speaker 2: gotta think it's worth it. You gotta think it's worth it.

1222
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:13,080
Speaker 2: Chapter number seven, Emotional language. You made a comment about

1223
01:15:13,120 --> 01:15:18,479
Speaker 2: gender roles that became quite controversial. What do you think

1224
01:15:18,520 --> 01:15:19,559
Speaker 2: about gender roles?

1225
01:15:20,200 --> 01:15:23,160
Speaker 3: Just could you give me the specifics because I want

1226
01:15:23,200 --> 01:15:23,559
Speaker 3: to answer.

1227
01:15:23,680 --> 01:15:26,960
Speaker 2: Should a man also be submissive to a woman or

1228
01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:31,840
Speaker 2: should a woman only take only catered to a man?

1229
01:15:32,240 --> 01:15:35,360
Speaker 2: Is there a time that it's appropriate for a man

1230
01:15:35,800 --> 01:15:38,599
Speaker 2: to be submissive to his woman.

1231
01:15:39,640 --> 01:15:42,360
Speaker 3: Now just be all that wasn't my quote. But what

1232
01:15:42,439 --> 01:15:47,880
Speaker 3: I will say, yes, okay, yes, yes. I think oftentimes

1233
01:15:49,280 --> 01:15:53,639
Speaker 3: I have the unfortunate reality of.

1234
01:15:55,840 --> 01:15:58,080
Speaker 1: Sounding like I'm choosing a side.

1235
01:15:58,240 --> 01:16:00,160
Speaker 2: Uh huh, Okay, you see what I'm.

1236
01:16:00,720 --> 01:16:05,880
Speaker 3: And while you have a microphone, a platform or being

1237
01:16:05,920 --> 01:16:10,440
Speaker 3: that individual, they say, uh uh he's sexy. Uh uh

1238
01:16:10,479 --> 01:16:15,760
Speaker 3: he pressed it, uh uh uh, Like let's keep But

1239
01:16:15,880 --> 01:16:20,080
Speaker 3: what I don't do more times that I should be

1240
01:16:20,160 --> 01:16:23,640
Speaker 3: doing is put in the mirror back on the individual

1241
01:16:23,680 --> 01:16:27,320
Speaker 3: and saying, hey, bro, just as you're asking a person

1242
01:16:27,400 --> 01:16:31,559
Speaker 3: for grace, my guy, you also have to give grace.

1243
01:16:32,520 --> 01:16:36,080
Speaker 1: It has to be reciprocated. Gender roles is no different.

1244
01:16:36,880 --> 01:16:39,320
Speaker 3: So when you're vulnerable or when somebody allows you to

1245
01:16:39,320 --> 01:16:42,559
Speaker 3: be vulnerable, you have to show signs and sides that

1246
01:16:43,240 --> 01:16:45,840
Speaker 3: it's welcoming for the truth to come out.

1247
01:16:45,960 --> 01:16:50,519
Speaker 2: If this statement was miss allocated, one of the things

1248
01:16:50,520 --> 01:16:53,400
Speaker 2: you have to realize is that you may be responding

1249
01:16:53,479 --> 01:16:56,640
Speaker 2: to somebody who is not mature enough to have the

1250
01:16:56,720 --> 01:17:01,920
Speaker 2: conversation with or is so full of bitterness from what

1251
01:17:02,120 --> 01:17:06,040
Speaker 2: happened to them that you become an outlet for their pain.

1252
01:17:07,880 --> 01:17:10,920
Speaker 2: And the third thing that I think is really really important.

1253
01:17:11,280 --> 01:17:14,320
Speaker 2: If you listen at anybody talk long enough, you're gonna

1254
01:17:14,320 --> 01:17:16,840
Speaker 2: find something to disagree with them about, or they're going

1255
01:17:16,880 --> 01:17:20,559
Speaker 2: to say something stupid. And you've got to be able

1256
01:17:20,720 --> 01:17:25,160
Speaker 2: to live with that, because the person who's criticizing you,

1257
01:17:25,600 --> 01:17:29,679
Speaker 2: if they had your microphone, eventually they get criticized too.

1258
01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:31,639
Speaker 1: Oh, without a shadow of it, they.

1259
01:17:31,560 --> 01:17:34,639
Speaker 2: Get criticized too. How have you learned how to deal

1260
01:17:34,720 --> 01:17:39,479
Speaker 2: with disagreements in a relationship or are you still learning

1261
01:17:40,120 --> 01:17:45,000
Speaker 2: to language? Are you still learning to language disagreements in

1262
01:17:45,040 --> 01:17:48,880
Speaker 2: a relationship? Is it better to write it? Is it

1263
01:17:48,920 --> 01:17:54,479
Speaker 2: better to verbalize it when you're angry? Do you have

1264
01:17:54,760 --> 01:17:58,519
Speaker 2: emotional language emotion? I keep coming back to emotional language

1265
01:17:58,560 --> 01:18:02,559
Speaker 2: because the emotional language is big thing for us. We

1266
01:18:02,680 --> 01:18:05,599
Speaker 2: learn every other kind of language, we may even speak

1267
01:18:05,640 --> 01:18:09,000
Speaker 2: in other kind of languages, but that hurd language. We'll

1268
01:18:09,040 --> 01:18:11,679
Speaker 2: talk about sports, we'll talk about girls, will talk about food,

1269
01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:15,000
Speaker 2: we'll talk about money, we'll talk about everything before we'll

1270
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:22,320
Speaker 2: talk about how we really feel. Okay, how fluent is

1271
01:18:22,960 --> 01:18:24,680
Speaker 2: your emotional language?

1272
01:18:24,920 --> 01:18:34,560
Speaker 3: Well, emotional intelligence is how it was explained to me, and.

1273
01:18:34,600 --> 01:18:39,120
Speaker 2: Well intelligence is knowing, language is communicating. You gotta have both.

1274
01:18:39,240 --> 01:18:40,799
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you for correcting.

1275
01:18:41,080 --> 01:18:46,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, with that, I've done the work or trying to

1276
01:18:46,560 --> 01:18:49,679
Speaker 3: do the work to be able to this is the thing,

1277
01:18:49,960 --> 01:18:54,000
Speaker 3: to be able to speak it right in a tone

1278
01:18:54,080 --> 01:18:55,880
Speaker 3: that in some ways you just got to give it

1279
01:18:55,920 --> 01:18:59,680
Speaker 3: to people with vinegar. It ain't no way around it.

1280
01:18:59,680 --> 01:19:04,559
Speaker 3: It's a listen baby, hey, listen home. But and then

1281
01:19:04,600 --> 01:19:08,000
Speaker 3: there's sometimes you have to deliver the message with honey. Yeah,

1282
01:19:08,680 --> 01:19:12,640
Speaker 3: that's the intelligence versus how it is delivered. Now, what

1283
01:19:12,760 --> 01:19:18,880
Speaker 3: I'm going through now is having discernment of when I

1284
01:19:19,240 --> 01:19:24,080
Speaker 3: take the back seat and allow her to leave. And

1285
01:19:24,120 --> 01:19:31,080
Speaker 3: that's where I'm trying to become whole. And that's the

1286
01:19:31,200 --> 01:19:34,400
Speaker 3: new woman. That's a new woman. You are not married

1287
01:19:34,400 --> 01:19:38,559
Speaker 3: to your grandmother. Your grandmother's woman is that generation is

1288
01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:42,160
Speaker 3: fast away. Your mother's generation is fading away. The new

1289
01:19:42,280 --> 01:19:45,439
Speaker 3: generation of women, not all of them, but many of

1290
01:19:45,479 --> 01:19:50,479
Speaker 3: them do want that opportunity to lead to drive to

1291
01:19:50,560 --> 01:19:53,639
Speaker 3: be progressive. And it doesn't make us any less man.

1292
01:19:54,120 --> 01:19:56,439
Speaker 3: But it is hard when you've been trained in one

1293
01:19:56,760 --> 01:19:59,320
Speaker 3: environment to become the other one. I think it's very

1294
01:19:59,400 --> 01:20:01,559
Speaker 3: very difficult to do that. I want to ask you

1295
01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:07,639
Speaker 3: this question. Travis Kelse and Taylor Swift had an argument.

1296
01:20:07,800 --> 01:20:12,040
Speaker 3: Travis Kels recently said he's never been in an argument

1297
01:20:12,080 --> 01:20:17,320
Speaker 3: with Taylor's swift and they're two and a half year relationship,

1298
01:20:17,680 --> 01:20:21,400
Speaker 3: So I didn't tell it, right, They never argue in

1299
01:20:21,439 --> 01:20:24,040
Speaker 3: two and a half years, they don't argue. What are

1300
01:20:24,080 --> 01:20:26,559
Speaker 3: your thoughts on that? Do you think it's possible to

1301
01:20:26,680 --> 01:20:30,479
Speaker 3: have the kind of relationship that they have and never argue?

1302
01:20:31,120 --> 01:20:34,120
Speaker 1: I don't think it's impossible. Okay, because.

1303
01:20:35,320 --> 01:20:39,480
Speaker 3: I can say the same, Okay, how are we identifying

1304
01:20:39,680 --> 01:20:42,759
Speaker 3: an argument exactly that that's the real question.

1305
01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:45,440
Speaker 1: That's the real because that doesn't mean you don't have disagreement.

1306
01:20:45,680 --> 01:20:50,240
Speaker 3: Yeah right, you know, we could talk about it, but

1307
01:20:50,280 --> 01:20:53,000
Speaker 3: that doesn't mean you're voicing your opinion as a bishop.

1308
01:20:53,280 --> 01:20:56,120
Speaker 3: I'm voicing my opinion as a as a human being. Hey,

1309
01:20:56,160 --> 01:20:59,080
Speaker 3: when you're in a relationship, she's voicing her opinion and.

1310
01:20:59,080 --> 01:21:01,040
Speaker 1: Say, hey, the baby, this is how it made me feel.

1311
01:21:02,360 --> 01:21:04,960
Speaker 3: And I could say, no, no, man, you wrong because

1312
01:21:05,000 --> 01:21:10,240
Speaker 3: that wasn't my intentions. Okay, I apologize, I apologize. Cool,

1313
01:21:10,520 --> 01:21:15,400
Speaker 3: that's not an argument. That's a discussion now for him,

1314
01:21:15,439 --> 01:21:18,080
Speaker 3: I can't speak on what I genuinely don't know, but

1315
01:21:18,120 --> 01:21:21,240
Speaker 3: it's not hard to believe that that may be his reality.

1316
01:21:21,280 --> 01:21:22,640
Speaker 1: Because that may be true.

1317
01:21:22,800 --> 01:21:25,320
Speaker 3: It may be hard for a person that does argue

1318
01:21:25,360 --> 01:21:27,120
Speaker 3: to say, man, ain't no way in the world.

1319
01:21:28,280 --> 01:21:30,799
Speaker 1: He ain't argue, but just keep living.

1320
01:21:31,040 --> 01:21:37,800
Speaker 2: So chapter number eight, Killing Giants. The man asked you this.

1321
01:21:38,200 --> 01:21:41,480
Speaker 2: So you got nine kids? Yes, sir, okay, anymore?

1322
01:21:43,160 --> 01:21:46,639
Speaker 1: God willing? Only God know.

1323
01:21:47,479 --> 01:21:52,559
Speaker 2: More you're gonna have. Man, I ain't judging that. I'm

1324
01:21:52,600 --> 01:21:56,599
Speaker 2: just receiver. It as five more, three more. It allows

1325
01:21:56,680 --> 01:21:59,760
Speaker 2: me to have more. That's just another blessing. Do you

1326
01:22:00,080 --> 01:22:03,719
Speaker 2: ever fantasized about bringing all of them up under one roof.

1327
01:22:04,680 --> 01:22:07,880
Speaker 3: They have been not as consistent as I wanted, though,

1328
01:22:09,240 --> 01:22:14,680
Speaker 3: And that's what hurts, because I come from that. I

1329
01:22:14,760 --> 01:22:17,800
Speaker 3: come from the big family and everybody just ragging on

1330
01:22:17,920 --> 01:22:20,559
Speaker 3: the same person, and that person being a funny person,

1331
01:22:20,600 --> 01:22:23,479
Speaker 3: and that person being a real man at the house

1332
01:22:23,560 --> 01:22:25,640
Speaker 3: or the woman of the house, or that person like that.

1333
01:22:26,920 --> 01:22:32,760
Speaker 2: If I had the chance to see you again, I

1334
01:22:32,760 --> 01:22:37,120
Speaker 2: would ask you to write a list of everything that hurts.

1335
01:22:37,760 --> 01:22:43,360
Speaker 2: The first girl, the gathering of the kids, the inability

1336
01:22:43,439 --> 01:22:47,280
Speaker 2: to make commitments. There's something about writing it down and

1337
01:22:47,320 --> 01:22:49,880
Speaker 2: looking at it that takes some power away from it

1338
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:54,000
Speaker 2: and it's just like right now, the budget, Yeah, I

1339
01:22:54,040 --> 01:22:58,080
Speaker 2: would ask you to write out an emotional budget that

1340
01:22:58,240 --> 01:23:02,719
Speaker 2: got you to better so that you spend less time

1341
01:23:02,760 --> 01:23:09,840
Speaker 2: in your spacesuit and more time being the amazing, wonderful

1342
01:23:10,120 --> 01:23:15,240
Speaker 2: creation that you were made to be. And this is

1343
01:23:15,280 --> 01:23:20,960
Speaker 2: something you can do yourself. And as you stare at

1344
01:23:21,040 --> 01:23:27,120
Speaker 2: what hurts you honestly and openly, it loses its power

1345
01:23:28,479 --> 01:23:33,400
Speaker 2: as long as it hides in your chest, the blood

1346
01:23:33,400 --> 01:23:37,519
Speaker 2: pumps to it. If you write it down in ink

1347
01:23:37,640 --> 01:23:43,120
Speaker 2: and look at it and say, that's not the way

1348
01:23:43,200 --> 01:23:45,720
Speaker 2: I should feel about that, That's not the way I'm

1349
01:23:45,760 --> 01:23:50,000
Speaker 2: going to deal with that. This is the strategy for this.

1350
01:23:50,000 --> 01:23:53,120
Speaker 2: This is the strategy for that. Just like you figured

1351
01:23:53,120 --> 01:23:57,840
Speaker 2: out everything else, you figured out too many things in life.

1352
01:23:58,680 --> 01:24:01,280
Speaker 2: I go back to the car, I go back to

1353
01:24:01,400 --> 01:24:04,439
Speaker 2: the career. Most people don't know that there's life after

1354
01:24:04,520 --> 01:24:10,160
Speaker 2: the gold post. I go back to espn BT all

1355
01:24:10,240 --> 01:24:12,559
Speaker 2: the things you figured out everything else. You're not gonna

1356
01:24:12,560 --> 01:24:15,040
Speaker 2: tell me. These four or five things we talked about

1357
01:24:15,040 --> 01:24:18,560
Speaker 2: today are four or five things that you can't overcome.

1358
01:24:18,880 --> 01:24:22,960
Speaker 2: And your life, which is passing really quick, the distance

1359
01:24:23,000 --> 01:24:25,280
Speaker 2: between you and me is not nearly as far as

1360
01:24:25,320 --> 01:24:30,200
Speaker 2: you think it is, it's worth it to fix it.

1361
01:24:30,760 --> 01:24:36,040
Speaker 2: Please please hear me. Don't try to live with it,

1362
01:24:36,560 --> 01:24:39,000
Speaker 2: because you're gonna look up and life is gonna be over.

1363
01:24:40,360 --> 01:24:47,479
Speaker 2: Please please do the hard work, therapy, counseling, prayer, all

1364
01:24:47,560 --> 01:24:53,080
Speaker 2: of it to get yourself where there is no rage

1365
01:24:53,800 --> 01:24:58,400
Speaker 2: left in you while you got time, because you will

1366
01:24:58,479 --> 01:25:03,639
Speaker 2: be me in a minute. I swear I was you

1367
01:25:03,880 --> 01:25:10,560
Speaker 2: yesterday and all you know about God. You're smarter, you're intelligent,

1368
01:25:10,600 --> 01:25:14,280
Speaker 2: you're bright, you got great personality, you got great charisma.

1369
01:25:14,840 --> 01:25:19,160
Speaker 2: It's a shame that you have to live in the

1370
01:25:19,240 --> 01:25:27,120
Speaker 2: apartment with an angry, frustrated, door kicking in, glass breaking

1371
01:25:27,720 --> 01:25:31,639
Speaker 2: individual and then have to hide in most of the time.

1372
01:25:32,240 --> 01:25:36,080
Speaker 2: On top of that, he's not that big, he's not

1373
01:25:36,240 --> 01:25:42,479
Speaker 2: that tough. David, the giant can come down and you

1374
01:25:42,520 --> 01:25:45,920
Speaker 2: won't even have to use all your stones. But get

1375
01:25:45,960 --> 01:25:48,560
Speaker 2: him in front of you and make it an objective

1376
01:25:48,840 --> 01:25:53,120
Speaker 2: for twenty twenty six. I'm gonna kill at least three

1377
01:25:53,240 --> 01:25:56,599
Speaker 2: of these giants out of my life because I am

1378
01:25:56,640 --> 01:26:00,320
Speaker 2: taking my life back. I am not going to allow

1379
01:26:00,800 --> 01:26:05,679
Speaker 2: him to kill, steal, and destroy what's left of my youth.

1380
01:26:07,160 --> 01:26:18,920
Speaker 2: You'll youth, listen you will never be young again, never never,

1381
01:26:19,640 --> 01:26:21,639
Speaker 2: and all of the stuff and all of the women,

1382
01:26:21,720 --> 01:26:24,080
Speaker 2: and all of the calls and all the phone's gonna

1383
01:26:24,080 --> 01:26:30,559
Speaker 2: stop ringing. You got to you gotta find that place

1384
01:26:30,640 --> 01:26:34,400
Speaker 2: of peace, no matter how much money you got and

1385
01:26:34,479 --> 01:26:36,800
Speaker 2: how big your house is, how many square feet it is,

1386
01:26:37,479 --> 01:26:43,160
Speaker 2: Please hear me. They don't mean nothing if you are

1387
01:26:43,240 --> 01:26:48,479
Speaker 2: not happy in your self and can't nobody do this

1388
01:26:49,120 --> 01:26:57,240
Speaker 2: for you. You have to do this for your self. You

1389
01:26:57,320 --> 01:27:00,479
Speaker 2: cannot allow it to be based on your daughter's reaction,

1390
01:27:00,920 --> 01:27:05,920
Speaker 2: your first girlfriend's reaction, your baby's reaction. This is not reactionary.

1391
01:27:06,240 --> 01:27:09,640
Speaker 2: The thermostat can't be in their room. It's got to

1392
01:27:09,680 --> 01:27:14,800
Speaker 2: be in the same room with the furnace. It's in you,

1393
01:27:17,040 --> 01:27:21,280
Speaker 2: It really is in you. So if we close out

1394
01:27:21,360 --> 01:27:26,000
Speaker 2: this podcast today, which doesn't even feel like a podcast,

1395
01:27:27,320 --> 01:27:30,920
Speaker 2: it feels like I'm sitting up talking to somebody that

1396
01:27:31,040 --> 01:27:34,320
Speaker 2: I don't know, that you say I met you before.

1397
01:27:37,080 --> 01:27:41,920
Speaker 2: It feels like an opportunity to say something to you

1398
01:27:43,280 --> 01:27:46,679
Speaker 2: that is really important. None of us have it all together,

1399
01:27:47,520 --> 01:27:49,519
Speaker 2: none of us have it all figured out. All of

1400
01:27:49,600 --> 01:27:52,599
Speaker 2: us got something written on our sheet of paper. That's okay,

1401
01:27:53,040 --> 01:27:56,720
Speaker 2: But let's lower the list now so that you can

1402
01:27:56,880 --> 01:27:59,519
Speaker 2: enjoy this stuff while you're young enough, because you have

1403
01:27:59,640 --> 01:28:07,080
Speaker 2: built your life around a youth that's leaving, but pans

1404
01:28:07,280 --> 01:28:10,960
Speaker 2: that are gonna be too big, got bedrooms you ain't

1405
01:28:11,000 --> 01:28:15,040
Speaker 2: even gonna go into no more. The kids are gonna

1406
01:28:15,040 --> 01:28:18,080
Speaker 2: get their own lives and come see you on the holidays.

1407
01:28:19,040 --> 01:28:24,439
Speaker 2: You gotta live with you. And I tell you like

1408
01:28:24,720 --> 01:28:31,200
Speaker 2: I would tell my own son, youth is a vapor.

1409
01:28:33,080 --> 01:28:36,759
Speaker 2: It's like steam on a mirror in the bathroom after

1410
01:28:36,800 --> 01:28:45,519
Speaker 2: a shower. By the time you draw off, it's gone.

1411
01:28:45,840 --> 01:28:48,559
Speaker 2: You just got a minute to fix this. And none

1412
01:28:48,560 --> 01:28:52,200
Speaker 2: of those girls, and none of those jobs, and none

1413
01:28:52,240 --> 01:28:55,360
Speaker 2: of that money is gonna be able to fix it.

1414
01:28:56,680 --> 01:29:01,960
Speaker 2: And I think you came here for me to tell

1415
01:29:02,040 --> 01:29:13,120
Speaker 2: you that. And I pray you hear me, because I

1416
01:29:13,160 --> 01:29:15,920
Speaker 2: don't want you to turn into a bitter old man

1417
01:29:16,240 --> 01:29:21,439
Speaker 2: with a lot of excuses as to why he wasted

1418
01:29:21,520 --> 01:29:27,320
Speaker 2: his life and wasted it rich. It's not like you're

1419
01:29:27,360 --> 01:29:31,040
Speaker 2: sleeping up under a bridge, but you are sleeping up

1420
01:29:31,120 --> 01:29:37,520
Speaker 2: under a bridge. It's not like you don't have anything,

1421
01:29:38,439 --> 01:29:44,360
Speaker 2: but you don't have anything. It's not like you don't matter,

1422
01:29:46,040 --> 01:29:50,759
Speaker 2: but if where it counts you don't matter, and only

1423
01:29:50,880 --> 01:29:58,920
Speaker 2: you can fix that. Only you can fix that. More

1424
01:29:59,000 --> 01:30:02,240
Speaker 2: money can't fix it. Bigger house house in Paris can't

1425
01:30:02,280 --> 01:30:06,320
Speaker 2: fix it. South Africa can't fix it. Only you can

1426
01:30:06,360 --> 01:30:09,439
Speaker 2: fix that. Because every time you get on a plane,

1427
01:30:09,560 --> 01:30:12,639
Speaker 2: it's gonna get on a plane with you, and you're

1428
01:30:12,680 --> 01:30:15,800
Speaker 2: gonna look around and all of that black hair is

1429
01:30:15,840 --> 01:30:20,800
Speaker 2: gonna be white, and the hat won't hide it. It's

1430
01:30:20,840 --> 01:30:26,479
Speaker 2: gonna turn white. It's gonna turn white. Your knees are

1431
01:30:26,479 --> 01:30:33,240
Speaker 2: gonna get stiffs, your body's gonna ache, and it's gonna

1432
01:30:33,320 --> 01:30:36,160
Speaker 2: be too late to fix it. For the few people

1433
01:30:36,240 --> 01:30:39,960
Speaker 2: that you really really care about, that short list of

1434
01:30:40,000 --> 01:30:46,360
Speaker 2: people who are holding your thermostat right now, you gotta

1435
01:30:46,400 --> 01:30:50,040
Speaker 2: get your thermostat back. You gotta do what you can

1436
01:30:50,120 --> 01:30:53,840
Speaker 2: to explain it and regardless to them receiving it while

1437
01:30:53,880 --> 01:30:56,840
Speaker 2: you're living or after you're gone, you gotta get to

1438
01:30:56,880 --> 01:31:01,040
Speaker 2: a place of peace about that, because you're a Please

1439
01:31:01,080 --> 01:31:04,200
Speaker 2: hear me. You are running out of the time.

1440
01:31:08,800 --> 01:31:09,280
Speaker 3: I know.

1441
01:31:12,600 --> 01:31:20,400
Speaker 2: You are running out of time. Thank you for being

1442
01:31:20,439 --> 01:31:26,080
Speaker 2: on the show today. Thank you. This was amazing of phenomenon.

1443
01:31:27,120 --> 01:31:31,400
Speaker 2: I loved it. I love you, Yeah, I love you.

1444
01:31:35,800 --> 01:31:44,960
Speaker 2: I just want to thank you. I I received you

1445
01:31:45,000 --> 01:31:46,120
Speaker 2: know what you said.

1446
01:31:46,200 --> 01:31:52,880
Speaker 3: And listening to understand I didn't want to interject. I

1447
01:31:53,160 --> 01:31:56,120
Speaker 3: appreciate your grace. Going back to the first time I

1448
01:31:56,160 --> 01:32:01,160
Speaker 3: met you, Yeah, we were in LA You were with

1449
01:32:01,200 --> 01:32:02,240
Speaker 3: your family at the pond.

1450
01:32:03,040 --> 01:32:03,320
Speaker 1: Oh.

1451
01:32:03,640 --> 01:32:09,080
Speaker 3: Yes, and when you came in you passed me as

1452
01:32:09,120 --> 01:32:15,280
Speaker 3: I was checking into my reservation. And people forget how

1453
01:32:15,439 --> 01:32:20,120
Speaker 3: much I really was in church or I come from

1454
01:32:20,200 --> 01:32:26,120
Speaker 3: church and I looked. I said, amen, hey that's tdj's

1455
01:32:28,200 --> 01:32:30,679
Speaker 3: and yeah, I met you there.

1456
01:32:31,520 --> 01:32:38,559
Speaker 2: There is something really special about you. Don't let those

1457
01:32:38,640 --> 01:32:51,479
Speaker 2: rats heat it up. Don't do that. Thank you, you

1458
01:32:51,600 --> 01:32:55,040
Speaker 2: got something. Hey everybody, I want to take this time

1459
01:32:55,160 --> 01:32:59,400
Speaker 2: to thank you for watching the Next Chapter podcast. If

1460
01:32:59,400 --> 01:33:03,439
Speaker 2: this Converse station inspired you, helps you reflect on an

1461
01:33:03,479 --> 01:33:07,679
Speaker 2: idea or spark something new inside of you, make sure

1462
01:33:07,800 --> 01:33:15,000
Speaker 2: to like, comment, and subscribe so you don't miss future episodes. Remember,

1463
01:33:16,240 --> 01:33:19,880
Speaker 2: life isn't about how you begin, it's about how you

1464
01:33:20,000 --> 01:33:26,120
Speaker 2: finished strong, So start your next chapter with us right here.

1465
01:33:27,200 --> 01:33:27,960
Speaker 2: Every week