1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,800 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og okay storytime 2 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:05,640 Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up. 3 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break 4 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,520 Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep the show alive. 5 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:12,560 Speaker 3: My boyfriend lives with his ex, but I won't break up. 6 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:14,200 Speaker 1: You should break up. 7 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,599 Speaker 4: I've been dating a guy I'll call him Josh, male 8 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,360 Speaker 4: twenty nine for about six months. He's so great and 9 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 4: we're so compatible and I female twenty four have definitely 10 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,480 Speaker 4: fallen in love with him, even though we haven't said 11 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 4: the love word yet. I feel like it's just now 12 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 4: getting serious. He told me about his friend I'll call 13 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,400 Speaker 4: her Sarah, female twenty nine early on when we started dating. 14 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,240 Speaker 4: He said that she is his best friend and they've 15 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 4: been friends since. 16 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 3: They were nine. 17 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,240 Speaker 4: They were next door neighbors growing up and lived together 18 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,599 Speaker 4: for about a year after college. But she has been 19 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,199 Speaker 4: working overseas for several years and he hasn't seen her 20 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 4: in a long time, even though they talk somewhat. I 21 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 4: assumed that she was like a sister, but now I'm 22 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 4: questioning that. By the way, this comes from Throwaway ninety 23 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 4: four one to ninety seven, and if you want to 24 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the our sash Okay 25 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,920 Speaker 4: storytime separated it. So suddenly Sarah sides to come for 26 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,280 Speaker 4: a visit and asks to stay with him for a week, 27 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 4: and he says yes without talking to me first. Then 28 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 4: when she gets here, she says that she's moving back 29 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:09,119 Speaker 4: to the States, but. 30 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 3: Isn't sure where yet, but probably not our area right. 31 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 4: What bothers me is he's really different when she's around, 32 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 4: like as humor is different. 33 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 3: He's more standoffish with me. 34 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 4: He talks all about her and all of these great 35 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,760 Speaker 4: things she's done, and they don't really flirt, but it 36 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 4: is obvious that they have a lot of history or 37 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 4: inside jokes. I stayed over on the first night she 38 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 4: was there, and he wasn't interested in having spicy sleep 39 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 4: at all. 40 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 3: He said he was too tired. 41 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,039 Speaker 4: Yesterday, I was coming over in the afternoon and I 42 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:36,319 Speaker 4: waited for an hour on his. 43 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 3: Front step well until he showed up with Sarah. 44 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 4: They had gone on a walk and out to lunch 45 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,080 Speaker 4: and forgotten about me coming over. Apparently he left his 46 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 4: phone at home. I was pissed off, so I left 47 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:49,680 Speaker 4: and he came to my house later, but only because 48 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 4: apparently she told him to. I don't think he's the 49 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 4: type to cheat, but it seems obvious that he's emotionally 50 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 4: attached to her, and I think it's really weird that 51 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 4: she just shows up after years and they're super tight 52 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 4: and eyes. 53 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 3: I feel like I'm on the outs. 54 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 4: I know that they have a ton of history together, 55 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 4: like stories and memories and everything, but I can't shake 56 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 4: the sense that there's something more going on. She's supposedly 57 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 4: leaving in five days, but who knows where? Am I 58 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,680 Speaker 4: being a crazy jealous girlfriend? Should I say something or 59 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 4: just wait it out? We do have an update, but 60 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:18,400 Speaker 4: what do you think? 61 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 3: What should she do? 62 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 1: Somebody? 63 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 5: Well, first and foremost, your boyfriend is tunnel vision and 64 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 5: a little lost puppy dog or his friend. I don't 65 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,359 Speaker 5: think he's I don't know because they have a really 66 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,960 Speaker 5: long connection. They grew up pretty much throughout their entire lives, 67 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 5: but he seems like he dropped the entire world and 68 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,399 Speaker 5: everything else around him. 69 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,800 Speaker 4: Yeah for her, He called and asked me to come 70 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,080 Speaker 4: over and talk last night after work. At first, I 71 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 4: thought for sure he was breaking up with me, but 72 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 4: that's not what happened, Although what did happen might be worse. 73 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 4: Sarah wasn't there when I got there. She apparently went 74 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 4: out somewhere for the night. Basically, Josh told me the 75 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 4: truth about Sarah. They're best friends and they talk and 76 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,680 Speaker 4: text very regularly, probably. 77 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,639 Speaker 3: More than I had realized. But yes, they. 78 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 4: Also used to be involved. He said she's more than 79 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 4: an ex, which was really confusing until he explained what 80 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,919 Speaker 4: he meant. Apparently, after college, he and Sarah lived together 81 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 4: and then were together as a couple for a while. 82 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:17,359 Speaker 4: Apparently she got pregnant pretty early on in their relationship 83 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 4: and lost it. They only lasted about six more months together. 84 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 4: After that, she took a job overseas and they ended 85 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 4: up breaking up some time after she left. He said 86 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 4: that the two of them never really talked about what 87 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 4: happened until this week, and he needs some time with 88 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 4: her this week to process it so hopefully he can 89 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 4: move on. I asked why he didn't tell me this before, 90 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 4: and he said that he was going to tell me 91 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 4: about it eventually if we decided to take things to 92 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 4: the next level, but that hasn't happened yet. 93 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 3: But he never really told me about Sarah because she 94 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 3: just disappeared and. 95 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 4: He hasn't even seen her more than a few times 96 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 4: briefly since it all happened, which was almost eight years ago, 97 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 4: so he basically thought that she was a non issue 98 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 4: until she suddenly showed up a few days ago, So 99 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,200 Speaker 4: now I'm more confused. He said that he was really 100 00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 4: sorry and asked for a few last days with Sarah 101 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 4: before she leaves, try to get some sort of closure 102 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:01,960 Speaker 4: on the whole thing. 103 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 3: It sounds like he wants to move on. 104 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 4: It also seems like she does as well, because she's 105 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 4: the one who has been telling him to talk to me. 106 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 4: I have so many more questions, but I didn't ask 107 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,040 Speaker 4: them last night because he seems so broken up about everything. 108 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 4: I've never seen him like that before. I ended up 109 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 4: staying over last night again after we talked. Yes, we 110 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 4: had spicy sleep this time, and this morning we both 111 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,039 Speaker 4: got up early and went to work. 112 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,240 Speaker 3: I'm not sure what to do now, though. 113 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 4: Should I back off or tell him how I feel 114 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 4: and ask that he not cut me out for the 115 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 4: next few days while he's with her. I thought about 116 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,839 Speaker 4: taking the afternoon off and just going over and talking 117 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,920 Speaker 4: to Sarah, but would that be weird. I don't want 118 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 4: to break up with him right now in case he's 119 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 4: telling the truth, and after this. 120 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 3: Sarah does go away and isn't an issue anymore. 121 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 4: But my biggest worry is that even if they move on, 122 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 4: he's not ever going to cut her out of his life. 123 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 3: Now. 124 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 4: She has some sort of special place in his life 125 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:49,640 Speaker 4: that I'll never have. 126 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 3: Not sure how to proceed, we do have a quick edit. 127 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,599 Speaker 4: I sent a text I was advised to send, seeing 128 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 4: how I feel, and I got a response, too tired 129 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 4: to deal with it tonight, and you have us so 130 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:02,480 Speaker 4: good up, dude? 131 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, boy, wow, too tired. 132 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 3: That was such an ominous ending to that edit. 133 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 4: I yeah, I'm taking Gavro She's fifteen's advice and sending 134 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,920 Speaker 4: this text. This really sucks. I'm really in love with you, 135 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,920 Speaker 4: and I thought you were in love with me too. 136 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,840 Speaker 4: Now I'm just confused. I should be comforting you and 137 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 4: not hurt. I should be at your place at night, 138 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,400 Speaker 4: not hurt. I should be helping you process this, not hurt, 139 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,480 Speaker 4: because I'm supposed to be the person you. 140 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:29,480 Speaker 3: Love, not her. 141 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:29,919 Speaker 1: Crap. 142 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,600 Speaker 4: Well, he hasn't responded yet, and there is an edit. 143 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,840 Speaker 4: Oh he just responded three hours later. 144 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 5: Okay, let's see what he's got to say. I mean, 145 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 5: that was a really good text. 146 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,320 Speaker 4: I mean it's like poetic Hey, I'm sorry, I just 147 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 4: saw this now I put my phone down. I'm really 148 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 4: sorry this is happening, especially now. It's bad timing for us. 149 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:47,920 Speaker 3: I know, I. 150 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,719 Speaker 4: Understand why you feel that way, and if Sarah was 151 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 4: just my ex, I would totally agree with your feelings. 152 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 4: But she's been my friend for twenty years. We were 153 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 4: only together for a year and a half out of 154 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,840 Speaker 4: the twenty, and neither of us really ever closed out 155 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 4: that chapter of our lives. I understand how you're feeling. 156 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 4: I know I've handled it badly. I feel really terrible 157 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 4: about it. I feel like I can't fix everything all 158 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,799 Speaker 4: at once, but I want to talk to you about 159 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,160 Speaker 4: it more. Can we talk tomorrow and figure out a 160 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 4: time when we can talk more. 161 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,160 Speaker 3: I understand that this is too much to deal with. 162 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 3: It's a lot. 163 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:19,000 Speaker 4: I'm sorry. Okay, Well, I don't know how to respond 164 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,839 Speaker 4: to that. So I'm going to bed and dealing with 165 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 4: it tomorrow. 166 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 5: And there is another update, all right, this is probably 167 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:25,279 Speaker 5: the talk between them. 168 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 1: Yeah. 169 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:28,840 Speaker 4: After we exchanged texts, Josh and I didn't talk much 170 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:30,280 Speaker 4: for the rest of the day. He called me when 171 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 4: he got off work and we talked a little bit, 172 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,800 Speaker 4: and he told me that he would see me the. 173 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 3: Next day, which was Saturday. I guess Josh and Sarah 174 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,279 Speaker 3: were planning on going a hike Saturday, but then he 175 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 3: got called into work. 176 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,600 Speaker 4: So I went over there and took Sarah on a hike, 177 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 4: and it was actually really good. We talked a lot 178 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 4: about Josh, and she told me about what he was 179 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 4: like growing up. I told her he had told me 180 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,840 Speaker 4: about the baby and had talked to. 181 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 3: Me about it. I think maybe she was kind of 182 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 3: upset about that. At first. 183 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 4: She didn't really seem like she wanted to talk to 184 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 4: me about it at all, but basically we both sort 185 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 4: of agreed that it was good for him to finally 186 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 4: talk about it and deal with it. Then at the 187 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,240 Speaker 4: end of the hike, she told me that she thought 188 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:04,599 Speaker 4: I was really great for Josh and she was happy 189 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,240 Speaker 4: that he had me, which was probably bs considering the 190 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 4: rest of what happened. I hung out with both of 191 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 4: them a lot the rest of Saturday. There was some 192 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 4: ata drama that night because Sarah hurt her foot and 193 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,080 Speaker 4: we had to take her to the er. But anyway, 194 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 4: Sunday morning, I dropped by Josh's house early before I 195 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 4: went to teach a class, partly because I needed to 196 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 4: pick up something I had there, and partly because I 197 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 4: wanted to see how they would react. When I walked 198 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 4: into the kitchen, I saw Josh standing there hugging Sarah. 199 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 4: I think she was crying or something. Anyway, I was. 200 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 3: Like, what the heck was going on, and. 201 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 4: Josh got really annoyed. He asked why I kept coming over, 202 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,040 Speaker 4: and I got really angry with him for the first 203 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 4: time and yelled at him, and he asked why he 204 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 4: didn't want me to. He didn't yell, but he seemed 205 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 4: really mad that I was there again, which only confirmed 206 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 4: my suspicions. 207 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 3: So anyway, we started arguing. 208 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 4: Josh went upstairs to grab my bag, and while he did, 209 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 4: I saw a big box slash folder thing on the 210 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 4: table and I opened it. I should have mentioned that 211 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 4: he's a designer and artist for his job, but he 212 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 4: also does a lot of his own drawings and illustration 213 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,400 Speaker 4: in a sort of graphic novel style. It was all 214 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 4: pictures that he had drawn of Sarah or some character 215 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 4: that looked like her. He must have been working on 216 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 4: it for a long time because there were a lot, 217 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 4: and it looked like it was supposed to be a 218 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 4: book or something. He obviously never showed it to me before, but. 219 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 3: I kind of freaked out. 220 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 4: I was so angry and hurt that apparently she's his 221 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 4: effing muse or whatever. This whole time, I was furious. 222 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 4: When he came downstairs again, I was so angry. I 223 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,880 Speaker 4: picked up the folder and threw it. Apparently there was 224 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,079 Speaker 4: more than paper in there. Something glass was in there, 225 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 4: and it shattered and was super loud. Oh my gosh, 226 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 4: not my greatest moment. I know, part of me feels 227 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,960 Speaker 4: dumb about it now, and part of me wishes that 228 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,480 Speaker 4: I had ripped them all up. But anyway, I was 229 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 4: yelling and upset, and Josh was just really quiet. I 230 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 4: could tell that he was upset and angry, but just 231 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 4: kept trying to get me to calm down. Sarah came 232 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 4: back in and I guess saw what happened and asked 233 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 4: if she could talk to me. She basically told me 234 00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 4: that she was really sorry. She said that Josh did. 235 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:00,839 Speaker 3: Not on me with her. 236 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 4: I have no idea if that's true, but she said 237 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 4: she had no reason to lie, and she knows it 238 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 4: was a really bad week, but she was leaving tomorrow 239 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 4: and I never had to see her again after that 240 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 4: if I didn't want to. She basically took full responsibility 241 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 4: for what has happened and said that she was hoping 242 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 4: after this week Josh could heal some things and finally 243 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:20,360 Speaker 4: move on. I didn't mention the effing drawings, even though 244 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 4: they were everywhere now and she obviously saw and knew 245 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 4: about them. I was just so rattled and upset that 246 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 4: I didn't know what to do. I mean, I'm an 247 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 4: effing mess standing there talking with the girl. I'm pretty 248 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,080 Speaker 4: sure my boyfriend is in love with crying about him. 249 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 4: At this point, I pretty much know this was the 250 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:38,079 Speaker 4: end of the relationship, probably, but for some reason I 251 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 4: couldn't end with him right there with her there. Call 252 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 4: me crazy, but I just couldn't give them the satisfaction 253 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 4: of that. I figured I would talk to him later 254 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,200 Speaker 4: that day or the next day and probably end it. 255 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,200 Speaker 3: So I just took my things and left. 256 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 4: Long story short, didn't matter, because Josh came over later 257 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 4: that afternoon and broke up with me. 258 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 3: Anyway. 259 00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 1: Of course, she did keep Sarah. I knew it. Yeah, 260 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,720 Speaker 1: that was the thing. He's got to pick you guys 261 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: were right. 262 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,559 Speaker 4: He basically told me this week that he realized he's 263 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,440 Speaker 4: not in any place to be in a relationship with me, 264 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 4: and he has a lot of things to sort out. 265 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 4: It's not fair for me to have to wait for him. 266 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 4: I asked if he had been sleeping with her, and 267 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 4: he said no. I asked if he loved her, and 268 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 4: he said yes. I asked if they were getting back together, 269 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,959 Speaker 4: and he said he didn't know, but that hadn't been 270 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 4: discussed and it wasn't the only reason he was breaking 271 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 4: up with me. Probably all eyes, but I have no 272 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 4: idea and it doesn't matter anyway. 273 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 3: I feel stupid and angry. 274 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,320 Speaker 4: I can't stop thinking about them together this whole week, 275 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,719 Speaker 4: and probably now. I know I shouldn't, but she was 276 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 4: supposed to leave today and I really want to drive 277 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:39,439 Speaker 4: by and see if she actually did. It sucks so much, 278 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 4: and I'm devastated and wanted to just crawl into a 279 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 4: hole and forget the whole thing, but I know I can't. Sorry, 280 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 4: the sending sucks so much, But thank you to everyone 281 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 4: who commented. I might respond to comments because I don't 282 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 4: really want to talk to anyone else about it yet. 283 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:53,680 Speaker 3: Or I might not. I don't know. 284 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 2: My girlfriend kept making fun of my weight. Don't do that, 285 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:02,520 Speaker 2: it's mean. I twenty three mail, gained almost seventy pounds 286 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,720 Speaker 2: during our two year relationship, mostly due to depression, drinking, 287 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 2: and letting up on my previously strict diet. When my 288 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,800 Speaker 2: girlfriend twenty three female and I started dating, I was 289 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 2: a bit but a bit chunky at about one hundred 290 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,080 Speaker 2: and ninety At five eleven, I had just lost about 291 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,760 Speaker 2: forty pounds. I gained back that forty pounds plus about 292 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 2: twenty five pounds more though during our relationship, and I 293 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,959 Speaker 2: got up to two hundred and fifty eight pounds at 294 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,199 Speaker 2: five eleven, at my biggest. 295 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,199 Speaker 1: I've now lost seven pounds on a diet. 296 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,720 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user e lad zero 297 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,160 Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 298 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 2: to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. She brought my 299 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 2: weight up after I had gained about twenty pounds, and 300 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,400 Speaker 2: then the comments got more frequent, and now she makes 301 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 2: probably three or more comments slash insult today about my weight. 302 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,520 Speaker 2: Here are some examples of things that she has done 303 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 2: or set. I know these may seem bad, but I'm 304 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:52,559 Speaker 2: not trying to demonize her. She is a great person. Otherwise, 305 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,720 Speaker 2: She refers to me as her morbidly obese boyfriend to 306 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 2: her friends and anyone else behind my back. 307 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,200 Speaker 1: I am morbidly obese. I think so. 308 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 2: She's not wrong, but it's very embarrassing. We had an argument, 309 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:06,199 Speaker 2: which is rare, where she called me a disgusting fat 310 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 2: pig and said she was counting down the days until 311 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 2: I passed away of obesie. She apologized for that one 312 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,120 Speaker 2: and we had a good talk about things afterwards, but 313 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,680 Speaker 2: she soon went back to the comments. She buys me 314 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 2: clothes that are too small. She says it's not on purpose, 315 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,840 Speaker 2: but I think it is, and then we'll say something 316 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,200 Speaker 2: like wow, I can't believe you've grown out of that already. 317 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 2: One time she made me come with her to the 318 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,840 Speaker 2: shop to return a pair of jeans and swap for 319 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 2: a bigger size. She made a massive fuss about it 320 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 2: with the employees and basically just humiliated me in front 321 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 2: of everyone in the store. She said she would only 322 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 2: have Spices sleep with me if I lost at least 323 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 2: seventy pounds. She says she can't help but find fat 324 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 2: extremely unattractive. I do understand that, and it's okay to 325 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 2: have preferences. I'm doing my best to reach that goal, 326 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 2: and I want to lose even more than that. She 327 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,640 Speaker 2: calls me greedy and says I have no self control. 328 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 2: She isn't wrong, but she will make me food. Then 329 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 2: if I eat it all, say that I have no 330 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 2: self control. I never eat the full amount anymore, so 331 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 2: I guess that tactic worked. She makes me food, I'll 332 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 2: only eat like a quarter of it, so she doesn't 333 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,920 Speaker 2: shay anything. I get anxious whenever I eat in front 334 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,120 Speaker 2: of people. Now I get sweaty palms and think everyone 335 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 2: is looking at me. I went out for Christmas dinner 336 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 2: with my friends and only ended up eating a few 337 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 2: bites because I was so anxious. I know that's a 338 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,800 Speaker 2: good thing, which it's not, and I should be thanking 339 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 2: her for that, But I don't want that anxiety to 340 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 2: stay even when I lose weight. 341 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:19,160 Speaker 1: This isn't her fault. 342 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,440 Speaker 2: Though obviously she is not responsible for my anxiety. It 343 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 2: really kind of sounds like she might be a little bit. 344 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 4: She's not responsible for it, yet you say that you 345 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,320 Speaker 4: should thank her for it. 346 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 2: She tries to control everything I eat. I'm want to 347 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 2: diet and have lost seven pounds in the last two weeks. 348 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 2: Not much, I know, seven pounds in two weeks is 349 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,000 Speaker 2: a lot. That's half a pound a day. It's a lot. 350 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:40,680 Speaker 2: But I'm going to start a waterfast at the start 351 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,720 Speaker 2: of the new year. She didn't force me to do that. 352 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,080 Speaker 2: But I hate myself to the point where I would 353 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 2: rather be passed away than live in this body any longer. 354 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:49,160 Speaker 2: So I want to lose weight as quickly as I 355 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,720 Speaker 2: possibly can. She always says how much happier I will 356 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 2: be if I lose weight, and I know she's right. 357 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:55,680 Speaker 1: Should I just accept it? That's what I've been doing 358 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 1: so far. 359 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,440 Speaker 2: However, since I've started losing weight, is it okay to 360 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,920 Speaker 2: ask her to stop making comments? The general consensus was 361 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:04,240 Speaker 2: that she was honestly shook me. 362 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:04,839 Speaker 1: At first. 363 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,560 Speaker 2: I really expected every comment to support how she treated 364 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 2: me and say she was just trying to help. 365 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 1: My girlfriend was entirely dependent on me for money. 366 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:12,440 Speaker 3: Ahaa. 367 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 1: Isn't it crazy how. 368 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 2: That happens, where it's like you're entirely like he says, 369 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 2: I paid for ninety five percent of her things. Why 370 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 2: is it that people who are being given everything will 371 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 2: get so nasty, and I paid for literally ninety five 372 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 2: percent of things. She never wanted to get a job 373 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 2: because I paid for her. I paid all the rent 374 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,960 Speaker 2: and the bills. Two days ago, on New Year's Eve, 375 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,560 Speaker 2: I was in our bedroom on my phone when I 376 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 2: got a text. It was from an unknown number calling 377 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,240 Speaker 2: me a fat f and something about how I didn't 378 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:43,720 Speaker 2: deserve my girlfriend. This wasn't too unusual. I've been receiving 379 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 2: harmful text from several different random numbers for months, mostly 380 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,040 Speaker 2: about my weight, but also about all sorts of things. 381 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,440 Speaker 2: I had several ideas of who it could be, and 382 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,760 Speaker 2: it was honestly eating me up inside. It was giving 383 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 2: me extreme anxiety because they seem to know so much 384 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 2: about me. A few hours later, on a whim, I 385 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,000 Speaker 2: decided to call the number. I've done this before, but 386 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,560 Speaker 2: I never got an answer. I even spoofed my phone 387 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 2: number and still nothing. You can probably see where this 388 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 2: is going. Vibration came from my girlfriend's bag in the cupboard. 389 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,000 Speaker 2: I guess she forgot to put it on silent. It 390 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 2: was like the biggest sinking feeling I've ever felt. She 391 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 2: had purchased a burn her phone specifically for texting me. 392 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 3: Abose. 393 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 2: She took time out of her day just to put 394 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 2: me down anonymously and wear me down further. She wanted 395 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,400 Speaker 2: me to be hurt and not trust anyone around me. 396 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 1: I truly never thought she was responsible for them. 397 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 2: The thought had come into my head a couple times, 398 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 2: but I immediately pushed it out. I didn't believe she 399 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 2: was capable of something like that. She was always sympathetic 400 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,080 Speaker 2: when I got the text and was trying to help 401 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:38,280 Speaker 2: me find out who sent them. I gathered all her 402 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 2: stuff up and put it into bags. Yes, I was 403 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 2: extremely upset while doing it and almost stopped, but I 404 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,560 Speaker 2: was also angry. I don't really get angry, and I 405 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 2: previously just accepted her treatment, but something in me jest snapped. 406 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,440 Speaker 2: I was actually mad at her for once she was 407 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,640 Speaker 2: at her friend's house preparing to go out for New 408 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,720 Speaker 2: Year's Eve. I did feel guilty for ruining her night, 409 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,200 Speaker 2: but she had already ruined mine. I wanted to try 410 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 2: and leave her in twenty nineteen and start the new 411 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:00,920 Speaker 2: year without her. 412 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,080 Speaker 1: I called the locksmith to come and change the locks. 413 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:06,440 Speaker 2: Yes, oh yeah, I knew she would have an extreme 414 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 2: reaction to being broken up with by her obese boyfriend 415 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,000 Speaker 2: who doesn't deserve her no matter the circumstances. So I 416 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 2: just had to do it. I texted her, I found 417 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 2: your other phone. I love you, but I can't put 418 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,120 Speaker 2: up with this crap anymore. All your stuff is in 419 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 2: bags in the hall. Please come by and collect it tomorrow. 420 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,320 Speaker 2: I changed the locks, so you will have to let 421 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 2: me know when you're coming beforehand. 422 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 1: Happy New Year. 423 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 2: So to say she didn't respond well to this would 424 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 2: be an understatement. She called me crying, telling me she 425 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 2: was sorry and would stop. She told me she was 426 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,120 Speaker 2: just trying to help me and that she was doing 427 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:35,680 Speaker 2: it out of love. She told me she loved me 428 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 2: more than anything, and she was so sorry. I almost 429 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 2: believed her, but I didn't give in. I apologized to 430 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 2: her and hung up. She called me back two minutes later, 431 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:48,920 Speaker 2: angry and screaming the real the real face reveals itself exactly. 432 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,560 Speaker 2: It didn't take more than two minutes, yeah, for her 433 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 2: true intentions to come out. She was screaming, how could 434 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 2: I dare do this to her? She called me a fat, 435 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 2: disgusting piece of crap and said she never loved me. 436 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 2: She screamed that she never wanted me and that no 437 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 2: one ever well. She screamed that even my own family 438 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,560 Speaker 2: didn't care about me because this hurt because she knew 439 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,480 Speaker 2: what she was doing. I have a complex relationship with 440 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,920 Speaker 2: both of my parents. She said that whenever we had 441 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 2: the spicy sleep, she was thinking about her ex and 442 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:16,040 Speaker 2: praying for it. 443 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:16,440 Speaker 1: To be over. 444 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:17,200 Speaker 3: Brother the scene. 445 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:18,480 Speaker 1: Now, this is why I said, we don't need to 446 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,400 Speaker 1: talk to her. Yeah, there's nothing to say. 447 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,359 Speaker 2: You putting all of her crap in the hallway and 448 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,800 Speaker 2: changing the locks speaks everything for it. It speaks for itself. 449 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,679 Speaker 2: I guess she was just trying to say anything that 450 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 2: would hurt me. I blocked her number. She called me 451 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 2: back again on her friend's phone, screaming how dare I 452 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,080 Speaker 2: block her? And how dare I leave her with no 453 00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,159 Speaker 2: place to stay on New Year's Eve. I didn't do that. 454 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 2: I would never leave her without a place to sleep. 455 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,959 Speaker 2: She could go to her parents, and she has plenty 456 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,199 Speaker 2: of money that I gave her so she could get 457 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,960 Speaker 2: a taxi and stay in a hotel if she preferred. 458 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,159 Speaker 2: She also said beforehand that she was staying at her 459 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,840 Speaker 2: friends that night anyway. She posted on her Instagram story 460 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,280 Speaker 2: that she was heartbroken and that her boyfriend had left 461 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,880 Speaker 2: her homeless on New Year's Eve due to a little misunderstanding. Oh, 462 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:55,240 Speaker 2: after everything he put me through, he still does this. 463 00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:56,919 Speaker 2: I loved him and thought he loved me, but I 464 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,399 Speaker 2: guess I was wrong. I then received messages from her 465 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 2: friends tell her me I'm a horrible person and she 466 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,359 Speaker 2: deserves so much better than me. Her mother, quite the 467 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 2: unpleasant person, called me, saying she was calling the police 468 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,800 Speaker 2: on me and that I was a She also brought 469 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,679 Speaker 2: up my weight and said that it was laughable that 470 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,320 Speaker 2: I would break up with her looking the way I do, 471 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 2: and I would never get anyone better. My girlfriend's friend 472 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,640 Speaker 2: ended up calling me on a different number and said 473 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,760 Speaker 2: that she and her boyfriend weren't comfortable letting me my 474 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 2: girlfriends stay over at their house anymore. They were freaked out. Dude, 475 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,199 Speaker 2: my girlfriend's screaming abuse at me on the phone, and 476 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,359 Speaker 2: she was apparently screaming at them as well and saying 477 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 2: she was going to unlive me. 478 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:30,240 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I see, And that's also a reason why, Like, 479 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,520 Speaker 4: even though all of these other people are backing her up, 480 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,920 Speaker 4: eventually they will figure it out. 481 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 3: You just have to know that you're right. Yeah, let 482 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 3: them let them be scared of her too. 483 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,440 Speaker 2: All of her other friends at the house were freaked 484 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,879 Speaker 2: out too, and she was effectively uninvited from their New 485 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 2: Year's Eve night, and they were trying to find a 486 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,920 Speaker 2: way to get her to leave. She was telling them 487 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,879 Speaker 2: that she had no money and no way of getting 488 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 2: to her parents. This was just a straight up lie. 489 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 2: I had given her five hundred pounds several days ago. 490 00:18:58,119 --> 00:18:59,879 Speaker 2: I sent her an extra hundred out of guilt. 491 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 1: Anyway. 492 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 2: I don't know where she went for a few hours, 493 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 2: but she came back to my house around two am 494 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 2: and started trying to break the door in. Iocked up 495 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 2: a rock and tried to smash the window. It broke 496 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 2: the window, but didn't smash it all the way. She 497 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,720 Speaker 2: was screaming and crying through the letterbox. I ended up 498 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,560 Speaker 2: caving and letting her in. She calmed down somewhat as 499 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,560 Speaker 2: my brother was there with me to back me up. 500 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,720 Speaker 2: She was wasted, and eventually she just started crying. I 501 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,359 Speaker 2: felt really bad for her at this point and was 502 00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:23,040 Speaker 2: almost ready to let her stay just for the night, 503 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,199 Speaker 2: but thankfully my brother ended up getting a taxi with 504 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:26,719 Speaker 2: her to take her to a hotel for the night. 505 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:28,720 Speaker 2: My mother came to collect her stuff yesterday and started 506 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 2: screaming at me, saying that I ruined her daughter's life. 507 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:31,920 Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah. 508 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,919 Speaker 2: I feel really bad, but you shouldn't because none of 509 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,399 Speaker 2: that is on you. Your girlfriend sucks and you are 510 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:37,159 Speaker 2: better off without her. 511 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,879 Speaker 4: If you couldn't tell before from all the nasty comments 512 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,520 Speaker 4: she did, you can definitely tell now. 513 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,639 Speaker 2: With the weight loss, I am currently continuing my diet 514 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,119 Speaker 2: instead of water fasting like I planned. I want to 515 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,800 Speaker 2: try and do a sustainable diet instead of just starting 516 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,680 Speaker 2: myself for a month and probably getting it back. I 517 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 2: want to try a seven day water fast to detox. 518 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,520 Speaker 2: Though I need to also stop relying on booze to 519 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:57,520 Speaker 2: relax in the evenings. 520 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,000 Speaker 1: It was a big reason I gained weight. 521 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,479 Speaker 2: I realized I've been assuming at least six hundred calories 522 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,720 Speaker 2: a day and booze alone, Wow, three pints of Bruski. 523 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,960 Speaker 2: I definitely used it to cope with stress, and I 524 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,720 Speaker 2: need to develop better coping mechanisms. 525 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:09,280 Speaker 1: I'm going to. 526 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,560 Speaker 2: Lose all the weight in twenty twenty, and I'm also 527 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,639 Speaker 2: going to get into therapy so I can sort my 528 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,679 Speaker 2: head out. There are so many unhealthy thoughts I have, 529 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,600 Speaker 2: and I don't think hating yourself as much as I 530 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 2: do is normal. I feel sad, but strangely relieved and 531 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,639 Speaker 2: like I can actually make changes in my life without her. 532 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 1: And that's the end of that story. Yay, yay. 533 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:25,840 Speaker 3: He's only an upswing. 534 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 2: He doesn't even realize how wonderful things are about. 535 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:29,720 Speaker 1: To get for him. 536 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,679 Speaker 3: Yeah, oh man, he's gonna go to therapy and like, 537 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,920 Speaker 3: oh man, it'll be so much to process about everything 538 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,919 Speaker 3: that she did. But holy crap, so much better without her. 539 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:43,440 Speaker 2: Brother's been dragging like two like ship anchors behind him, 540 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,120 Speaker 2: just digging into the ground, just walking like man, why 541 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,600 Speaker 2: is this feels hard? Yeah, he just let go of 542 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 2: those two anchors and now he's like whoa. 543 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,640 Speaker 6: My son refused to give free rise to his stepsister, 544 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,120 Speaker 6: and I agreed with him. 545 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:56,920 Speaker 3: She can walk. 546 00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 6: I forty five mail share three kids with my sixteen male, 547 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:05,160 Speaker 6: fourteen male, and eleven female. We divorced ten years ago. 548 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 6: My ex d remarried eight years ago. She has another 549 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:13,680 Speaker 6: bio daughter, seven female and a step daughter fourteen female. 550 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,479 Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from Hovercraft just fifty one 551 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,200 Speaker 6: forty five And if you want to submit your own stories. 552 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,520 Speaker 6: Go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So my 553 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,399 Speaker 6: kids have never really gotten along with their stepsister. She 554 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:29,240 Speaker 6: pretty much gets whatever she wants. She has always had 555 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:32,199 Speaker 6: her own room and bathroom at their mom's house. My 556 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:35,440 Speaker 6: daughter had to share with her brothers. She does not 557 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,800 Speaker 6: do chores and expects my kids to do whatever she 558 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,359 Speaker 6: asks them to do. Things have been really bad the 559 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,600 Speaker 6: last two years. And a little over a year ago, 560 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,480 Speaker 6: my oldest came to live with me full time. A 561 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 6: few months later, his brother followed. My oldest turned sixteen 562 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,240 Speaker 6: back in December. I bought a car for him. My 563 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,239 Speaker 6: only request was that he would take his brother and 564 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 6: sister my kids to school, which he agreed to do. 565 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,960 Speaker 6: My sons and their stepsisters go to the same school. 566 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 6: Not long after I got him the car, Dee started 567 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 6: asking that my son take his stepsister to and from school. 568 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,040 Speaker 6: My ex's neighborhood is on the route to school from 569 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,880 Speaker 6: my house. He refused. My ex tried to make him 570 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 6: do it. I refused. 571 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:19,200 Speaker 3: Well. 572 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,440 Speaker 6: Last month, we had a winter storm come in. The 573 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,120 Speaker 6: first round was not supposed to be bad, so there 574 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,440 Speaker 6: was school, but quickly the weather got worse than predicted, 575 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,520 Speaker 6: so school let out early. My sons were walking to 576 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,280 Speaker 6: their car with a friend head to my house. Their 577 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 6: stepsister was standing near the car with a friend and 578 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 6: was on her phone. She told my son, Mom says 579 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,840 Speaker 6: she cannot come get us, so we need to ride 580 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,359 Speaker 6: with you. My son refused. She handed my son the 581 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,360 Speaker 6: phone and my ex was on the line. She demanded 582 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 6: that my son give his stepsister and her friend a ride. 583 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 6: She was across town getting groceries before the storm got worse. 584 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,920 Speaker 6: He refused. His stepsister started yelling at him. He ignored 585 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,560 Speaker 6: her and they got in the car to leave. She 586 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,200 Speaker 6: and her friend got in front of the car so 587 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,359 Speaker 6: he couldn't move. He honked his horn and told them 588 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 6: to get the f out of the way. They eventually did, 589 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,959 Speaker 6: and my son left her and her friend. At the school, 590 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 6: a teacher saw the incident, so we were called by 591 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,080 Speaker 6: the administration about it. 592 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:19,640 Speaker 3: We told them what happened. 593 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,000 Speaker 6: My sons were not in trouble, but they said we 594 00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 6: need to work out this family conflict. Afterwards, my ex 595 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,000 Speaker 6: and her husband tried to talk to me and blamed me. 596 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,919 Speaker 6: I told them it isn't my fault. Y'all raised an 597 00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:35,080 Speaker 6: entitle entitled brat who no one likes. Y'all have enabled 598 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:38,480 Speaker 6: her behavior for years. I have tried to get y'all 599 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 6: to address it, but I am done until you stop 600 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 6: being a worthless mother and stepdad. I do not want 601 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,480 Speaker 6: to hear crap from either one of you. D your 602 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,439 Speaker 6: own sons despise you. That is all on you. 603 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,880 Speaker 3: Then we left. Geez, that's rough. Yeah. 604 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:58,960 Speaker 6: I she was so demanding in like the ride home 605 00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,760 Speaker 6: that it's like my initial thought was like, oh my god, 606 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 6: of course you like basically like rescue this person from 607 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 6: this snowstorm. Yeah, but it's also like the way that 608 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,880 Speaker 6: she was handling it was just like, oh my god, 609 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:10,439 Speaker 6: you're icky. 610 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, I think the problem here is that the 611 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,320 Speaker 3: brothers probably have had this experience of like, she gets 612 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,520 Speaker 3: literally everything she wants, and this is a moment where 613 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 3: they're like you know what. No, yeah, no, it's just 614 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:22,639 Speaker 3: a rough moment for it to have been. 615 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,480 Speaker 6: Yeah. Sure, I have not spoken to my ex sens. 616 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 6: I do feel bad for my daughter because tensions have 617 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,880 Speaker 6: been high at my ex's house and she is there 618 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,639 Speaker 6: half the time. So am I the a hole? We 619 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:38,399 Speaker 6: have some comments No Wiener Roach forty two forty eight. Uh, 620 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,120 Speaker 6: not the A hole. Your ex chose her stepdaughter over 621 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:45,480 Speaker 6: her own kids, puzzle headed army three one six. She 622 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:49,040 Speaker 6: chose her new husband over her own children. His daughter 623 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,760 Speaker 6: is just an extension of him in her eyes, while 624 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,159 Speaker 6: her children with OPI are an extension of him and 625 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:58,120 Speaker 6: an unwonted reminder to her new husband that he came 626 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:02,560 Speaker 6: after op Opie's kid basically remind stepfather and mom that 627 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,639 Speaker 6: he is getting op sloppy seconds. And of course she 628 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 6: doesn't want to lose another husband, so she is going 629 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,560 Speaker 6: to favor his children over her ex's children, not the 630 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,840 Speaker 6: A whole. Uh, Beth two one two eighty six X 631 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 6: is just disrespectful and rude. She couldn't have called op 632 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,359 Speaker 6: and their son herself and said, I'm stuck just this 633 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,480 Speaker 6: once in an emergency. Could you please help me out? 634 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,960 Speaker 6: Who is the grown up here? The sixteen year old 635 00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:30,480 Speaker 6: or her Miami lawyered not the A hole. Sounds like 636 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:34,680 Speaker 6: they have spent years cultivating a bad relationship between the kids, uh, 637 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,280 Speaker 6: and want to blame you. That is on them. They 638 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:41,600 Speaker 6: are at the FAFO stage of parenting. I do family 639 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,400 Speaker 6: law and this seems plenty judgment, not the a whole. 640 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:49,600 Speaker 6: We have an update seventeen days later with some answers 641 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,719 Speaker 6: to common questions. Looks like, at least until June fifth, 642 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,040 Speaker 6: it would be illegal for my son to take his 643 00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,879 Speaker 6: stepsister and her friend home. I am not going for 644 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,040 Speaker 6: full custody for my daughter because she is highly attached 645 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,159 Speaker 6: to her little sister and would be sad not to 646 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,400 Speaker 6: see her every other week. But I take my daughter 647 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,720 Speaker 6: to and from school every day. It is across the 648 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:11,200 Speaker 6: street from my office. While things are tents at my exes, 649 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,640 Speaker 6: it does not appear that she is being treated any 650 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,520 Speaker 6: differently than before. There are no buses available for my kids, 651 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:20,000 Speaker 6: and their stepsister are there on an interdistrict transfer. 652 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:21,200 Speaker 3: A little over a. 653 00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:23,280 Speaker 6: Week ago, my ex reached out to try and see 654 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,080 Speaker 6: what we could what we could compromise about the situation. 655 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,840 Speaker 6: I told her that there was nothing to compromise about. 656 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 3: I explain that. 657 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:33,680 Speaker 6: Until June he legally cannot take her anywhere. I do 658 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:35,880 Speaker 6: not want her in the car, and our son does 659 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 6: not want her in the car. My ex said, it 660 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,560 Speaker 6: simply is not doable for her to take her or 661 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,440 Speaker 6: her dad to take her to school every day. 662 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,480 Speaker 3: Dude, that's your child. Figure it out. You can't just 663 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 3: be like, well, it just isn't. I don't know, I 664 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,600 Speaker 3: just can't. I don't know, like find a carpool, find 665 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,320 Speaker 3: a bus situation, figure it out. That's your kid. Don't 666 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,520 Speaker 3: make your sixteen year old do it for you. 667 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,520 Speaker 6: If our son could take her on tuesdays, they could 668 00:26:58,520 --> 00:26:59,280 Speaker 6: do the other days. 669 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:00,040 Speaker 3: I told her no. 670 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:04,880 Speaker 6: This Tuesday, their stepsister demanded a ride. My son told 671 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,919 Speaker 6: her no, and she pushed him. A teacher saw it, 672 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:12,480 Speaker 6: and she is facing possible in school suspension. Disciplinary issues 673 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 6: like this could compromise her interdistrict transfer. We have some 674 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:20,960 Speaker 6: comments perpetually exhausted. What was their plan if he didn't 675 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:25,800 Speaker 6: get his license? Non chalant enigma or if OPI didn't 676 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,400 Speaker 6: get his son a car? And we have another update, 677 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:31,800 Speaker 6: which is two point five months later. Some background. On 678 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,479 Speaker 6: June fifth, my son will be sixteen and a half 679 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,400 Speaker 6: because he took his driver's at at that time. There 680 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 6: will be no restriction on number of passengers he can transport. 681 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,640 Speaker 6: There is no bus available due to the school being 682 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 6: in a different district. Public transit is absolutely terrible where 683 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:51,520 Speaker 6: we are, both in terms of safety and time. And 684 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 6: here's the second update. Contrary to popular belief my son's 685 00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,119 Speaker 6: car was not keyed or anything like that. 686 00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:57,919 Speaker 3: Jeez. 687 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,680 Speaker 6: After the incident in the update, my and their stepsisters 688 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:05,200 Speaker 6: ignored each other at school. Since that incident, my ex 689 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,919 Speaker 6: has tried to act sweet and kind when we have interacted. 690 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:12,000 Speaker 6: All involved schools, oh, all involved schools let out last 691 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 6: week for summer. On Monday, I had a meeting run 692 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,200 Speaker 6: long and I could not drop my daughter off at 693 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,600 Speaker 6: my exes as I typically do, so I had my 694 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,560 Speaker 6: son due to the drop off for me. When he 695 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,919 Speaker 6: got there, my ex asked to talk to him for 696 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,119 Speaker 6: a minute. She asked if she pays him, if he 697 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,959 Speaker 6: would agree to take his stepsister to and from school 698 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:31,199 Speaker 6: starting in the fall. 699 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,040 Speaker 3: I do think that is a little bit that should 700 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,159 Speaker 3: have been pain it now. Yeah, that's a little bit 701 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,640 Speaker 3: more reasonable to say, like, hey, I will pay you 702 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 3: to do this cause I yeah, I don't like there. 703 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,719 Speaker 3: Sometimes there are parents who literally like because of their 704 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,320 Speaker 3: jobs they cannot drive and so, but that is your 705 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,400 Speaker 3: responsibility to figure out how to get your child to school. 706 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,000 Speaker 6: Yeah, otherwise they go to the school in their district 707 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 6: that the bus can take them exactly. 708 00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:57,920 Speaker 3: So I think that the payment is a little bit more. 709 00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,840 Speaker 6: Fair I do think that the brother may still feel 710 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:02,760 Speaker 6: as like a but then she's just getting her way 711 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 6: like she always does Zach Linsling. As mentioned in my comments, 712 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,600 Speaker 6: my ex has switch shifts, so she cannot pick up 713 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:12,960 Speaker 6: her stepdaughter from school. Her husband typically has to leave 714 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,280 Speaker 6: work to get his daughter from the school. Uh, and 715 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,240 Speaker 6: that is what has happened on most days, but it 716 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,640 Speaker 6: is starting to cause issues at his job. My son 717 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:23,680 Speaker 6: told her no and came home that night. She calls 718 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,200 Speaker 6: me and asks if I would be interested in doing 719 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,600 Speaker 6: joint family therapy with her and all three of our kids. 720 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,880 Speaker 6: I told her before that can happen, she her husband 721 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,640 Speaker 6: and her stepdaughter need to make a full and complete 722 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,720 Speaker 6: apology to our kids for their treatment over the years. 723 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,680 Speaker 6: She said, I do not know if I can make 724 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,120 Speaker 6: that happen. I told her, well, that is what needs 725 00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:46,360 Speaker 6: to happen before I would consider your proposal. My kids 726 00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:48,240 Speaker 6: and I already do individual therapy. 727 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I do honestly think they kind 728 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:53,920 Speaker 3: of do need family therapy just to figure out because 729 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,680 Speaker 3: this is their mom and she's being super unreasonable. But uh, 730 00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,680 Speaker 3: you know, is still their mom, and maybe there's a 731 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,760 Speaker 3: way we could figure this out. So everyone's a little 732 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:03,080 Speaker 3: bit more. 733 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,520 Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm kind of on the same boat as you, Like, 734 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:10,240 Speaker 6: don't let the apology being the hill that like you 735 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 6: unblocking your family from going forward. 736 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,520 Speaker 3: But and then also I think, like the for the sun, 737 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 3: like the sun not driving thing, I think it's more 738 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,200 Speaker 3: fair that she offered to pay, But if he says no, yes, no, 739 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,320 Speaker 3: it's still his choice. 740 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,880 Speaker 6: This morning, she forwarded me some texts from one of 741 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,960 Speaker 6: her friends, who is a teacher at the high school 742 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:33,760 Speaker 6: my ex's stepdaughter would have to attend if she switches schools. 743 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 6: She was telling my ex that there are only a 744 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:39,600 Speaker 6: few spots left in the few honors or ap courses 745 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 6: that sophomores can take, so if the step daughter wants 746 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:47,080 Speaker 6: in those classes, she needs to enroll in the school now. 747 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,080 Speaker 6: So my ex then said, I am desperate. I want 748 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:53,320 Speaker 6: her to stay where she's at. That is only possible 749 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 6: if our oldest son agrees to take her. But if 750 00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:59,000 Speaker 6: I need to switch schools for her, I need to 751 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:02,280 Speaker 6: know now, responded, this ain't got crap to do with 752 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,280 Speaker 6: our kids, And the fact that you are bending yourself 753 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 6: into pretzels for stepdaughter is the problem, because you do 754 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 6: not do that crap for our kids. Do not contact 755 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:14,200 Speaker 6: me unless it is about our kids, and that is 756 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:18,680 Speaker 6: the update. We have some comments, though, Saggy Milk on 757 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:22,120 Speaker 6: thousand and five says, good for you, She's desperate, but 758 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:24,840 Speaker 6: not desperate enough to tell her husband and stepdaughter that 759 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,000 Speaker 6: they need to give a genuine apology. I guess hubby 760 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:32,040 Speaker 6: and stepdaughter are not desperate. Your ex is awful, pride 761 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,920 Speaker 6: of Cape Town exactly. How stupid is the ex that 762 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:39,080 Speaker 6: she can't ask one of her stepkids friends parents to carpool? 763 00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I was saying. Yeah, literally just carpool. 764 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:44,480 Speaker 6: Yeah, this isn't rocket surgery. 765 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:50,800 Speaker 3: Rocket surgery surgery at the end of that story. Yeah, 766 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:53,280 Speaker 3: I think that she is just so desperate to like, 767 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,720 Speaker 3: I don't know, she really only cares about her stepdaughter 768 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,040 Speaker 3: and her new husband, and so she wants to like, 769 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 3: she doesn't want to call them out, make them apologize. 770 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,880 Speaker 3: She wants to make sure that the stepdaughter has a 771 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 3: car ride and stuff. Yeah, but yeah, it's just incapable 772 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:08,280 Speaker 3: of standing up to her new family. 773 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,200 Speaker 6: God is another sess kid too. 774 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,960 Speaker 1: Yes, John, here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story, 775 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,000 Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors. 776 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,680 Speaker 3: My father's wife is horrible to me. I need to 777 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,960 Speaker 3: move out, get your own place. I'm an a fair baby, 778 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,080 Speaker 3: and my dad's wife and two kids hate me for it. 779 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,320 Speaker 3: I've always lived with my mom, so it was never 780 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 3: a huge problem. But six months ago she passed away 781 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,479 Speaker 3: and I sixteen mail, I had to move in with 782 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,479 Speaker 3: my dad, forty seven male and his family, and I 783 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:40,000 Speaker 3: still feel like his wife and my half siblings despise 784 00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 3: me just for being there. It's gotten so bad that 785 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,640 Speaker 3: my half brother even destroyed all of the pictures I 786 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:48,000 Speaker 3: have of my mom, which turn what was already a 787 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,520 Speaker 3: crappy situation into something that is just killing me. By 788 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,520 Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Overall Lack twenty one seventy nine, 789 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,120 Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 790 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,120 Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay. Storytime suppered it. So I 791 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,760 Speaker 3: ended up sleeping on the couch for almost two months 792 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,360 Speaker 3: because I couldn't stand the sight of my half brother, 793 00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 3: Marty eighteen mail after what he did to my stuff, 794 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,800 Speaker 3: and started carrying a backpack around the house with anything 795 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,800 Speaker 3: personal that I had brought from my mom's apartment wherever 796 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:17,520 Speaker 3: I went, so nothing else could be damaged. Marty ended 797 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 3: up apologizing to me, but it seemed more of a 798 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 3: show for my dad than an actual apology for me. 799 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,680 Speaker 3: My dad's wife, Susan, forty eight female, and my half 800 00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:29,960 Speaker 3: sister uh Anica, now fifteen females, still barely acknowledged me 801 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:34,000 Speaker 3: and still almost exclusively use French in the house, which 802 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,400 Speaker 3: I'm only now starting to pick up words in conversation. 803 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,120 Speaker 3: For I've always felt like a stranger in this house, 804 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,400 Speaker 3: and while I understand why they don't want me around, 805 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:42,920 Speaker 3: I don't know what I can do to try and 806 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,680 Speaker 3: make things work. The worst of it came three weeks ago, 807 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,760 Speaker 3: when I lost my keys to the house and got 808 00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:49,880 Speaker 3: stuck out in the rain. After I came home, I 809 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,360 Speaker 3: tried calling my dad, but he didn't pick up, and 810 00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,000 Speaker 3: I rang the doorbell as many times as I could 811 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:58,640 Speaker 3: because I saw Susan's car outside the house, so I 812 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,480 Speaker 3: knew she was home. Isn't much close by us, so 813 00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:03,880 Speaker 3: I couldn't walk anywhere to wait. By the time my 814 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:05,800 Speaker 3: dad got home an hour and a half later, I 815 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,640 Speaker 3: was soaked and cold, and when we got inside, Susan 816 00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:10,280 Speaker 3: just said that she was at a call and couldn't 817 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,000 Speaker 3: hear the dartbell ringing. I couldn't even talk to her 818 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,760 Speaker 3: and just went upstairs and cried in the bathroom before 819 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,720 Speaker 3: going to bed. And if that were true, she would 820 00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:21,360 Speaker 3: be a lot more apologetic than she seems to be. 821 00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:24,880 Speaker 3: My dad apologized later for not seeing my message sooner, 822 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,439 Speaker 3: but that's not really the issue here. I feel sick 823 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,160 Speaker 3: living here and can barely eat or sleep half the time. 824 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,520 Speaker 3: My grades are tanking, and I don't feel like I 825 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:37,000 Speaker 3: can talk to anyone. I miss my mom and everyone 826 00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:40,000 Speaker 3: is pretending like she never existed, and I have to 827 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:43,000 Speaker 3: basically do the same thing so nobody at home gets mad. 828 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,840 Speaker 3: Main issue is a week ago, my dad's best friend 829 00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:48,279 Speaker 3: and his husband, who I've met a couple times and 830 00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,799 Speaker 3: stayed with the first couple nights after I reconnected with 831 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,719 Speaker 3: my dad while he was trying to figure out how 832 00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:55,080 Speaker 3: to bring me home, heard about me being locked out 833 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,759 Speaker 3: of the house and asked if I wanted to come 834 00:34:57,760 --> 00:34:59,120 Speaker 3: stay with them for a while. 835 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:01,399 Speaker 6: Yay go Yeah. 836 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:05,319 Speaker 3: I want to say yes so bad because anywhere has 837 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:07,520 Speaker 3: to be better than where I'm saying now, but I 838 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,920 Speaker 3: know it's going to cause issues with my dad because 839 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:13,400 Speaker 3: he's he ruined his entire relationship with his family to 840 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,239 Speaker 3: be able to bring me home so I wouldn't have 841 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:18,360 Speaker 3: to go into foster care. And it's gonna seem incredibly 842 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:20,160 Speaker 3: ungrateful that dare even. 843 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:25,400 Speaker 6: Matter anymore, erasing everything and ruining your life. 844 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,040 Speaker 3: I don't care if he like helped you out, you know, 845 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,080 Speaker 3: got you out of the foster care system, he's not 846 00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:33,080 Speaker 3: how much should do because he's your father. 847 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,600 Speaker 6: Because if he has the capability to, that's like the 848 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,680 Speaker 6: most obvious decent human things are literally your dad. 849 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, you should take you in and go into the 850 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:43,480 Speaker 3: foster care system. Uh, doesn't matter if he's treating you 851 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:43,879 Speaker 3: like crap. 852 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:44,120 Speaker 1: Now. 853 00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,120 Speaker 3: I know my dad's trying, he really is. But I 854 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:48,920 Speaker 3: don't know what I'm going to do If I have 855 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,320 Speaker 3: to keep living in his house until I turn eighteen? 856 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:55,240 Speaker 3: How do I broach the subjects with him? Is trying 857 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,320 Speaker 3: to move out even worth it at this point? Or 858 00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,920 Speaker 3: should I just toughen up and deal with it for 859 00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:03,560 Speaker 3: the next year and a half? Comments Comment one, You're 860 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,319 Speaker 3: living in a hostile environment with time that will really 861 00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:10,280 Speaker 3: affect your health negatively. You've been offered a safe space 862 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 3: to live. Don't walk but run in that direction. Your 863 00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:16,000 Speaker 3: dad is the adult. Let him deal with all the 864 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:20,640 Speaker 3: negative consequences. Put yourself first. I'm really sorry about the 865 00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:23,200 Speaker 3: loss of your mother, hope, he says. Honestly, I feel 866 00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:27,120 Speaker 3: like it probably already is. I'm so tired all the time, 867 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,920 Speaker 3: but can't sleep, and somehow still can't get out of 868 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,040 Speaker 3: bed in the morning. I feel like I haven't even 869 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,120 Speaker 3: gotten a chance to breathe or process the fact that 870 00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:38,040 Speaker 3: my mom's passed away because there's been so much change 871 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,319 Speaker 3: so quick, which is also kind of why I don't 872 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,879 Speaker 3: want to have to move houses again. Comment to your 873 00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:45,239 Speaker 3: father's wife and your half siblings have a lot of 874 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 3: misplaced anger. Do they treat your father the same way 875 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:50,640 Speaker 3: they've been treating you, Although in relation to the advice 876 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,480 Speaker 3: you're seeking, that's neither here nor there. I would definitely 877 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:55,839 Speaker 3: take your dad's friends up on the offer, even if 878 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:57,799 Speaker 3: it's just for a short while. You need to get 879 00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,279 Speaker 3: out of that toxic situation. You also need to have 880 00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:02,880 Speaker 3: a frank talk with your dad. Is he backing you 881 00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:05,239 Speaker 3: up in these situations or does he stand by and 882 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:07,480 Speaker 3: let them treat you like that. You're going through a 883 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:09,840 Speaker 3: rough time and it must be terrible to feel like 884 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:11,200 Speaker 3: no one is there to support you. 885 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:12,160 Speaker 1: Opie says. 886 00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:15,280 Speaker 3: There was definitely a lot of tension between my dad, Anica, 887 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,080 Speaker 3: and Susan, but that seems to have mostly gone away 888 00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:21,240 Speaker 3: after the first couple of months. Marty seems still pissed 889 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,960 Speaker 3: at him, but it kind of feels like they all 890 00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:26,320 Speaker 3: just turned all that anger on me. I tried talking 891 00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,480 Speaker 3: to my dad about it at least a little, but 892 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:30,880 Speaker 3: there aren't a lot of times where where it's just 893 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,120 Speaker 3: the two of us, and I don't feel comfortable saying 894 00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:36,360 Speaker 3: anything in front of everyone else. Nobody really does anything 895 00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,680 Speaker 3: to me in front of my dad except the language thing, 896 00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:41,279 Speaker 3: which he does try and stop every time he catches it. 897 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:44,480 Speaker 3: But Marty and Susan usually just do things behind his 898 00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:47,120 Speaker 3: back to hurt me. And I think my dad doesn't 899 00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,560 Speaker 3: want to believe that his wife and kids are capable 900 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:50,440 Speaker 3: of treating me like this. 901 00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:56,000 Speaker 6: That's okay, m He's got to know to an extent 902 00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,600 Speaker 6: because you're literally carrying all your stuff around in all 903 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:01,600 Speaker 6: the time, and there's no way he's not seeing that 904 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,759 Speaker 6: or or how it's affecting you. Yeah, So as much 905 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:06,719 Speaker 6: as I'm still like, oh, sweet, maybe you have a 906 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,919 Speaker 6: conversation with him about that, like maybe he would care 907 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,680 Speaker 6: it's it's still get out. 908 00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, it feels like, yeah, you've talked to him, your 909 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:18,880 Speaker 3: situation hasn't changed, you have a safe option, and maybe 910 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:23,200 Speaker 3: in moving out, he'll realize, oh wow, I've really yeah, 911 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:24,919 Speaker 3: did not realize what was going on here. 912 00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:29,240 Speaker 6: It could allow you to be closer with him after that. Yeah, 913 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:30,759 Speaker 6: and if you're not, that's okay too. 914 00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,279 Speaker 3: Comment three. I am so sorry for your loss and 915 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,120 Speaker 3: the hostile environment you're now in. I know it's hard, 916 00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:38,560 Speaker 3: but you are not responsible for the tension in your 917 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,480 Speaker 3: dad's house. Your dad made these choices for you to 918 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,279 Speaker 3: live with your siblings and his wife because he loves you. 919 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,840 Speaker 3: It may hurt his feelings, but I'm sure he wants 920 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:49,200 Speaker 3: to be able to give you what you need himself. 921 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:52,160 Speaker 3: But I'm sure he'll want to support what's best for you. 922 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,880 Speaker 3: I'd start off by pulling him aside and outlining that 923 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,920 Speaker 3: you appreciate him taking you in, but you're not feeling 924 00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,520 Speaker 3: comfortable in the house and the problems you've just outlined. 925 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:02,360 Speaker 3: You can then move on to say his friends have 926 00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,680 Speaker 3: offered to take you in and you think that would 927 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,080 Speaker 3: really help. Would he be open to letting you stay 928 00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,280 Speaker 3: with them for a while and reevaluate if that helps. 929 00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:11,520 Speaker 3: You could also set up standing hang out times so 930 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,680 Speaker 3: you still see each other. That may help too. Good luck, honey. 931 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,160 Speaker 3: I hope the new couple make you feel loved and welcomed. 932 00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,600 Speaker 3: Obie says. The thing that really sucks is that I 933 00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:21,840 Speaker 3: don't even know if he knows me enough to love me. 934 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,520 Speaker 3: Before my mom passed away, I hadn't seen him in 935 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,319 Speaker 3: almost a decade and had only met him twice before that. 936 00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:29,279 Speaker 3: I think he's trying to be nice and give me 937 00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,719 Speaker 3: a place to stay, but he's basically just as much 938 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,640 Speaker 3: of a stranger as the rest of his family is. 939 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 3: We're going to have lunch with his friends tomorrow, so 940 00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:38,600 Speaker 3: I'm going to try and bring it up there so 941 00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,040 Speaker 3: at least they'll be there to help the conversation. And 942 00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:42,960 Speaker 3: there is an update. But do you have any thoughts? 943 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:48,359 Speaker 6: I had totally forgot this, but Katera Rain is pointing 944 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:51,080 Speaker 6: out the most messed up part is they're not even related. 945 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,879 Speaker 6: This is the dad's best friend that's offering to take 946 00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:54,080 Speaker 6: her in. 947 00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, this isn't like an anything. My dad 948 00:39:56,719 --> 00:40:01,360 Speaker 3: with friends together, heard how he was being treated and said, hey, 949 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:04,560 Speaker 3: do you need a place to stay? Yeah, Like if 950 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,120 Speaker 3: he's hearing about it, then the dad maybe is talking 951 00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:10,640 Speaker 3: about it, yeah, yeah to but like it's still not 952 00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:13,320 Speaker 3: realizing it to the point where someone outside the situation 953 00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,000 Speaker 3: who was not related to Opie at all is like, 954 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:17,960 Speaker 3: you are you need to get out of there? 955 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:21,040 Speaker 6: Like wow, yeah, which means the dad probably does see 956 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,239 Speaker 6: some of this more than you think. 957 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:25,799 Speaker 3: There is an update, though, folks. It's been about a 958 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,719 Speaker 3: week since I talked to my dad and I've had 959 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,080 Speaker 3: a couple people message about an update, so I figured 960 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,440 Speaker 3: i'd give one for those who didn't see my original post. 961 00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:35,359 Speaker 3: I sixteen, Mail, had to move in with my dad 962 00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:38,040 Speaker 3: forty seven Mail and his family after my mom passed away, 963 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:42,200 Speaker 3: and things have been extremely strained, the worst incidences being 964 00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,239 Speaker 3: my half brother ripping pics of my mom up and 965 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,759 Speaker 3: my dad's wife leaving me locked at the house. So 966 00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:49,080 Speaker 3: I was given the offer to move out by my 967 00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,760 Speaker 3: dad's friend and his husband, both thirties. Mail. I followed 968 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,920 Speaker 3: a couple people's suggestion and texted my dad's friend that 969 00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:58,640 Speaker 3: I wanted to leave, and they ended up suggesting we 970 00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:00,919 Speaker 3: all go out to lunch. I think they could both 971 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,640 Speaker 3: tell how nervous I was around my dad, and my 972 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,879 Speaker 3: dad's friend Jay ended up being the one to bring 973 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,520 Speaker 3: up the idea of me moving out. My dad seemed 974 00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:13,239 Speaker 3: completely blindsided by it and asked why I wanted to 975 00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:17,640 Speaker 3: move out. Jay and his husband Benny reminded him about 976 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,000 Speaker 3: everything that's been going on at home, and I just 977 00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:23,120 Speaker 3: kind of sat there. My dad seemed really upset, and 978 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:25,720 Speaker 3: it made me feel terrible because I already felt guilty 979 00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:28,319 Speaker 3: about leaving. But then he just asked if I really 980 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,719 Speaker 3: wanted to go. I said yes, and he just immediately agreed. 981 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:35,360 Speaker 6: Oh, oh, and don't let that hurt the way that 982 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:36,480 Speaker 6: I know it probably is. 983 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:40,480 Speaker 3: But oh, but like, think about it this way. You 984 00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:44,680 Speaker 3: have two people who I'm assuming, like, no, you you know, 985 00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:47,680 Speaker 3: are in your life, know you, who want you yeah, 986 00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,359 Speaker 3: and are like you know and will probably want to 987 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,840 Speaker 3: learn more about you. It kind of hit me that 988 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,160 Speaker 3: I wanted him to try and fight for me, to 989 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:59,200 Speaker 3: say sorry for everything that he's been letting happen, and 990 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,160 Speaker 3: for my dad to try and keep me at home, 991 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,440 Speaker 3: but he just let me go like it was nothing. 992 00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:06,480 Speaker 3: It's been hard after my mom passed away and my 993 00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:09,280 Speaker 3: dad's the only family I got left, so it really 994 00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:12,200 Speaker 3: didn't make me feel any better about leaving, even though 995 00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:14,400 Speaker 3: I don't have to deal with my dad's family anymore. 996 00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,799 Speaker 3: Benny took me back to their apartment while Jay went 997 00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:18,600 Speaker 3: with my dad to get my stuff from the house, 998 00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,280 Speaker 3: and they had set up their extra room for me already. 999 00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:23,200 Speaker 3: He apologized that they hadn't been able to do this 1000 00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:25,279 Speaker 3: sooner and that they hoped I would like living with them. 1001 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,120 Speaker 3: They came back with all of my things and they 1002 00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,000 Speaker 3: gave me time to decompress. I ended up sleeping for 1003 00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:33,279 Speaker 3: almost sixteen hours because I was so exhausted. Over the 1004 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:36,000 Speaker 3: last week, they've been really nice about making me feel 1005 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,840 Speaker 3: at home, and I've talked to me about getting into 1006 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,600 Speaker 3: therapy to deal with losing my mom and everything that 1007 00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:43,959 Speaker 3: happened at my dad's house. They're also trying to figure 1008 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,600 Speaker 3: out how to move me into a different school so 1009 00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:47,440 Speaker 3: I don't have to deal with my half sister and 1010 00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:49,919 Speaker 3: everyone that knew my half brother. It's the first time 1011 00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:52,480 Speaker 3: in months that I feel that I can actually breathe, 1012 00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:55,200 Speaker 3: and I don't feel like I'm constantly on guard. My 1013 00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,759 Speaker 3: dad hasn't texted me much or reached out in the 1014 00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:59,799 Speaker 3: last week, so I don't know what's going to happen 1015 00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,680 Speaker 3: with him, but for now I'm safe, I guess. So 1016 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:05,839 Speaker 3: that's what happened so far. Thanks for everyone that gave 1017 00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:08,600 Speaker 3: me advice and wished me well. It's been really hard 1018 00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,680 Speaker 3: lately and it made me feel less alone. 1019 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:15,160 Speaker 6: So wholesome pret these dads, I'm like, oh my god, I. 1020 00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:17,600 Speaker 3: Mean, you got these like amazing adult figures in your 1021 00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:22,080 Speaker 3: life you want, you are looking out for. You have 1022 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:25,200 Speaker 3: created this space for you to be comfortable and feel safe. 1023 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,160 Speaker 6: In, had the room set up, even like not knowing 1024 00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:30,600 Speaker 6: how that conversation would go if she actually end. 1025 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:34,239 Speaker 3: Up going yeah, I mean, Opie, Like this is not 1026 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:37,920 Speaker 3: something that happens for everyone in this situation, so like, 1027 00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,680 Speaker 3: uh yeah, I mean awful situation that you had to 1028 00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:43,160 Speaker 3: come from and like the heartbreak of losing your mother. 1029 00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:45,799 Speaker 3: But it's it's it's really amazing that you have these 1030 00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:48,600 Speaker 3: people in your life that care about you. But there's 1031 00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:51,440 Speaker 3: a little bit left to the story. Edits Wow, this 1032 00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,839 Speaker 3: unexpectedly blew up and I'm kind of stunned. My other 1033 00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,560 Speaker 3: posts never gained much traction, so I never expected this 1034 00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:00,120 Speaker 3: update to get so much attention. A quick update over 1035 00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:03,280 Speaker 3: the last twenty four hours or so. Benny's sister somehow 1036 00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,680 Speaker 3: saw this and sent it sent it to him, so 1037 00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:07,919 Speaker 3: he and Jay came in and asked they never heard 1038 00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:10,840 Speaker 3: about the picture incident and apologized that they hadn't asked 1039 00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:13,000 Speaker 3: to get me out sooner. They had no idea how 1040 00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,160 Speaker 3: bad it was, and said I can stay as long 1041 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:17,960 Speaker 3: as I want or need to. I realized then that 1042 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,839 Speaker 3: I hadn't really said thank you to them because it's 1043 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,239 Speaker 3: been so crazy, so I told them how much I 1044 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,919 Speaker 3: appreciated having the place to stay. It was a really 1045 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:29,000 Speaker 3: emotional moment, honestly, and I'm glad it happened. They did 1046 00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:31,040 Speaker 3: think it was funny that they've been called everything from 1047 00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:34,200 Speaker 3: my roommates to my new landlords, so that's helped soften 1048 00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,719 Speaker 3: the mood a little. Sorry, I haven't been able to 1049 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,880 Speaker 3: respond to many comments. This feels really overwhelming, but I 1050 00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:43,120 Speaker 3: just wanted everyone to know that the support means a lot. Thanks. 1051 00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:47,239 Speaker 6: My brother is freeloading off our parents. I'm sick of 1052 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:48,800 Speaker 6: him treating them like garbage. 1053 00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:50,520 Speaker 3: Bake out the tresh So. 1054 00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:54,439 Speaker 6: In the past month, my older brother's fiance left him. 1055 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,719 Speaker 6: This meant he lost his house because the home they 1056 00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:01,480 Speaker 6: lived in was in her name, his vehicle because what 1057 00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:05,320 Speaker 6: he was driving was her old car. He also lost 1058 00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:08,160 Speaker 6: his job because he was so focused on his breakup 1059 00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:11,200 Speaker 6: that he was constantly making mistakes. He moved in with 1060 00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:13,600 Speaker 6: our parents, who lived about five minutes away from my 1061 00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:17,040 Speaker 6: husband and me. By the way, this comes from green Light, 1062 00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:19,600 Speaker 6: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 1063 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:23,280 Speaker 6: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So I do 1064 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,440 Speaker 6: have a lot of sympathy for him. He literally has nothing, 1065 00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,880 Speaker 6: no home, no car, no job, no relationship. The problem 1066 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,840 Speaker 6: is this is the third time that this has. 1067 00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,640 Speaker 3: Happened to him. That's right. 1068 00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:39,280 Speaker 6: He has had three fiances leave him now and every 1069 00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:43,680 Speaker 6: time he winds up losing everything. He has had two 1070 00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:47,080 Speaker 6: cars impounded because he gets so upset over his breakups. 1071 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:50,680 Speaker 6: He loses his job and can't make payments on his vehicles. 1072 00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:52,719 Speaker 6: My parents and I have bailed him out of these 1073 00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:56,239 Speaker 6: situations every time. I even paid his back payments on 1074 00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:59,640 Speaker 6: his car, paid for his dog's vet bills, and paid 1075 00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,359 Speaker 6: for some of his rent before. My parents and I 1076 00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:06,200 Speaker 6: have literally spent thousands of dollars trying to help him. 1077 00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:09,280 Speaker 6: Each of the past two times, he winds up moving 1078 00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:12,279 Speaker 6: back in with my parents, who are in their late sixties, 1079 00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:15,000 Speaker 6: while we pay for everything for him. Whenever he goes 1080 00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:18,560 Speaker 6: through a breakup, he becomes a total knucklehead. He spends 1081 00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,960 Speaker 6: every weekend out with his friends, camping or vacationing. How 1082 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,520 Speaker 6: he pays for it, I have no idea. After the 1083 00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,799 Speaker 6: second fiance, he took a trip to Fiji with his 1084 00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:30,920 Speaker 6: friends but couldn't afford to pay his rent. He mostly 1085 00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:34,040 Speaker 6: ignores me unless he needs money, which during all this 1086 00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,879 Speaker 6: breakup I am refusing to help him out at all. 1087 00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:40,279 Speaker 6: The worst part is he treats my parents like garbage. 1088 00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:42,359 Speaker 6: If they ask him a question like have you been 1089 00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:44,799 Speaker 6: looking for a job, he will yell at them. He 1090 00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:47,120 Speaker 6: has no problem eating the food they provide for him, 1091 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:50,560 Speaker 6: and living in their house rent and utility free, and 1092 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,720 Speaker 6: driving my mom's brand new car, which she got because 1093 00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:58,200 Speaker 6: he totaled her last car, but makes them absolutely miserable. 1094 00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:00,520 Speaker 3: My mom told me he will yell them. 1095 00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:04,080 Speaker 6: Call her stupid, trashes their house, sleeps all day, and 1096 00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:06,280 Speaker 6: leaves the care of his dog up to them. 1097 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:11,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. By the way, uh, brother is thirty six. 1098 00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:15,080 Speaker 3: Thirty six and behaving this way? Wow? This man out. 1099 00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,040 Speaker 3: I'm sorry, you're just like, you're far too old to 1100 00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:18,719 Speaker 3: act like this. 1101 00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:23,720 Speaker 6: I can see maybe why you have been on fiance 1102 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:24,520 Speaker 6: three times. 1103 00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:29,120 Speaker 3: Yes, understandably, and also your parents are like totally allowing 1104 00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:32,200 Speaker 3: this behavior by not taking him out and just saying, well, 1105 00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:33,960 Speaker 3: he always yells at us, but we're gonna let him 1106 00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:34,359 Speaker 3: stay here. 1107 00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:36,960 Speaker 6: Every time I see my mom lately, it's obvious that 1108 00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:42,080 Speaker 6: she's been crying. The most recent event took place on Sunday. 1109 00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:44,319 Speaker 6: In an attempt to get him out of the house 1110 00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,279 Speaker 6: for a while, I offered to take him out on 1111 00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:49,160 Speaker 6: our boat. He seemed super excited about it, and when 1112 00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:51,480 Speaker 6: he's excited, he can actually be a lot of fun 1113 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:53,880 Speaker 6: to be around. He tells me he's hanging out with friends, 1114 00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:57,080 Speaker 6: but we'll be back in town Sunday afternoon. Sunday afternoon 1115 00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:00,239 Speaker 6: rolls around and he's nowhere to be seen. I get 1116 00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:03,000 Speaker 6: a text around six pm that he's decided to go 1117 00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:06,040 Speaker 6: to a local tourist destination with all his friends. They 1118 00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:09,080 Speaker 6: are going to tube down a river. I'm bummed because 1119 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:11,640 Speaker 6: I was honestly looking forward to it, and because my 1120 00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:14,920 Speaker 6: brother has once again chosen his friends over his family. 1121 00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:16,040 Speaker 3: But it's whatever. 1122 00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:18,759 Speaker 6: I honestly don't rely on him for anything, so it's 1123 00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:20,879 Speaker 6: not that big of a deal. But then I find 1124 00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:23,520 Speaker 6: out he's driving my mom's car and she has to 1125 00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:26,920 Speaker 6: be in her office early Monday morning. Then the peaceful 1126 00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,600 Speaker 6: protests in our town turn into full on riots, and 1127 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,759 Speaker 6: my brother still is not home. At this point, he 1128 00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:36,680 Speaker 6: can't get home because they've blocked off access to our town, 1129 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,359 Speaker 6: so he just stays with his friends and I wind 1130 00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:41,719 Speaker 6: up taking my mom to work. My dad tries to 1131 00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:44,839 Speaker 6: talk to my brother on Monday about how irresponsible he was, 1132 00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:47,680 Speaker 6: and my brother just yells at them and then locks 1133 00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:50,399 Speaker 6: himself in my parents' basement for the rest of the day. 1134 00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:51,880 Speaker 3: My parents are miserable. 1135 00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:54,879 Speaker 6: They want to help and have always said they will 1136 00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:57,960 Speaker 6: do anything for us kids, but they are just enabling 1137 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,799 Speaker 6: my brother every time they bail him out. My dad 1138 00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:04,200 Speaker 6: has major health problems that are being exacerbated by the 1139 00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:07,280 Speaker 6: stress my brother is causing. My mom has a history 1140 00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:10,320 Speaker 6: of severe depression that I see her slipping back into 1141 00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:13,560 Speaker 6: the longer my brother is with them. I'm really close 1142 00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:16,080 Speaker 6: to my parents and they are usually very fun people. 1143 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:18,680 Speaker 6: The longer my brother stays with them, I am seeing 1144 00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:22,839 Speaker 6: them become depressed, short tempered, and miserable. I tried telling 1145 00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:25,239 Speaker 6: them to punt him out. One of his friends would 1146 00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:27,839 Speaker 6: surely take him in, but they insist that they don't 1147 00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:30,640 Speaker 6: want to leave him homeless. I can't convince them to 1148 00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:33,120 Speaker 6: punt him out. But is there anything else I can 1149 00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:35,080 Speaker 6: say or do that might get my brother to get 1150 00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:37,040 Speaker 6: his head out of his butt and get a job. 1151 00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:39,520 Speaker 6: How can I get my brother to see his behavior 1152 00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:41,480 Speaker 6: towards my parents is unacceptable? 1153 00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:43,040 Speaker 3: It just really sucks. 1154 00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:45,400 Speaker 6: I used to really look up to my older brother 1155 00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:47,719 Speaker 6: because he is outgoing and funny and the sort of 1156 00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:50,960 Speaker 6: person everyone just gravitates towards. Now I'm just pissed at 1157 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,960 Speaker 6: him for how he treats my parents, and simultaneously scared 1158 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,600 Speaker 6: for his mental health because he clearly has a lot 1159 00:49:56,600 --> 00:50:00,520 Speaker 6: of problems. We have some comments. Comment one, it's not 1160 00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,440 Speaker 6: a mistake that these women keep leaving him. I'm guessing 1161 00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:06,160 Speaker 6: mooches off of them too, until they break up. 1162 00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:06,719 Speaker 1: Uh. 1163 00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:10,920 Speaker 6: He will not change until he faces consequences for his actions, 1164 00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:14,920 Speaker 6: and you and your parents stop enabling him. He's almost 1165 00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:18,719 Speaker 6: forty and behaving like a teenager. That's appalling, but you 1166 00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:21,080 Speaker 6: can't fix him and we have a reply. Yep, this 1167 00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:24,600 Speaker 6: what's happening is likely due to super physically cute and 1168 00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:25,520 Speaker 6: a lot of fun. 1169 00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:25,880 Speaker 3: To be around. 1170 00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:28,960 Speaker 6: Charms the panties right off these women and they don't 1171 00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,200 Speaker 6: wake up from the spell. 1172 00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:30,880 Speaker 3: For a few years. 1173 00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,040 Speaker 6: I doubt this guy will ever change. It's worked for 1174 00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:36,840 Speaker 6: him his whole adult life. Just got to find himself 1175 00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:40,040 Speaker 6: yet another gal that doesn't mind being a sucker op. 1176 00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:41,960 Speaker 3: He says, you've sort of hit. 1177 00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:45,040 Speaker 6: The nail on the head. All his girlfriends slash fiances 1178 00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:49,719 Speaker 6: have also been substantially younger. The most recent was eleven 1179 00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:53,200 Speaker 6: years younger. He charms them and things are great for 1180 00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:56,080 Speaker 6: a couple of years. He's also really good at making money, 1181 00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:58,279 Speaker 6: like could have been an old timey con man in 1182 00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:00,839 Speaker 6: another life. So he'll find a new scheme and give 1183 00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:04,200 Speaker 6: the girls super fancy gifts, but inevitably things fall apart 1184 00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:06,879 Speaker 6: when the girls really start doing life with him. I 1185 00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:09,279 Speaker 6: hope that he changes. I would really like for him 1186 00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:12,799 Speaker 6: to change, but you're right, it'll probably never happen. I 1187 00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:14,719 Speaker 6: just want to keep my parents and an eye from being 1188 00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:17,120 Speaker 6: sucked into his up and down cycles. 1189 00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:21,200 Speaker 3: We do have an update, Holly, I think what you do? Yeah, 1190 00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:24,320 Speaker 3: stick with me here. Yeah, you send him a letter, okay, 1191 00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:28,839 Speaker 3: and you say, hey, it's your parents here. We want 1192 00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:33,240 Speaker 3: you gone. Don't ask us about it because we're very sensitive. Yes, 1193 00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:36,320 Speaker 3: we want you out of here by tonight. The parents 1194 00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:38,400 Speaker 3: mail it from their house to their house. Oh he 1195 00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:41,839 Speaker 3: mails it, I know, but it would yes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, 1196 00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:44,600 Speaker 3: I'm on board. I'm on board. They slip it under 1197 00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:48,360 Speaker 3: the door. Yes, and uh, and they say, don't don't 1198 00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:50,320 Speaker 3: ask us about it because we're. 1199 00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:53,399 Speaker 6: Too hurt, naturally, and he listens, and he listens, is. 1200 00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:56,440 Speaker 3: He goes what I guess, I can't ask them about it, 1201 00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:57,160 Speaker 3: gotta go. 1202 00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:01,240 Speaker 6: And he leaves and like all solved. 1203 00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:07,480 Speaker 3: All problems solved, like that, that's done. There you go, solutions. 1204 00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:10,520 Speaker 6: Ten out of ten. I think that's exactly what this 1205 00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:11,720 Speaker 6: update's gonna be. 1206 00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:13,080 Speaker 3: Yep, that's what I'm thinking. 1207 00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:16,160 Speaker 6: Thank you for the responses. A couple of things. I 1208 00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:19,680 Speaker 6: am in no position to psychoanalyze my brother or parents, 1209 00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,600 Speaker 6: but I do believe that mental health is a primary 1210 00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:25,000 Speaker 6: reason for how any human acts the way they do, 1211 00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,480 Speaker 6: and clearly my brother's mental health is not good. I 1212 00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:31,840 Speaker 6: am encouraging my family to see therapists, but I decided 1213 00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,359 Speaker 6: I will not be paying for my brothers because there 1214 00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:37,200 Speaker 6: is truly no telling if he would go or be 1215 00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:40,560 Speaker 6: willing to change. Also, my mom works for a not 1216 00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:44,840 Speaker 6: for profit for the elderly and specializes in elderly abuse cases. 1217 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,040 Speaker 6: She told me that she knows what he is doing 1218 00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:49,799 Speaker 6: is technically elder abuse, but she does not want to 1219 00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:51,360 Speaker 6: report it or want me to report. 1220 00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:53,399 Speaker 3: She's like, I'm super familiar with it. 1221 00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:58,239 Speaker 6: I know exactly how this goes. If things get any worse, though, 1222 00:52:58,360 --> 00:52:59,439 Speaker 6: I will go behind her. 1223 00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:03,359 Speaker 3: Back, send send a letter in a letter, and they 1224 00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:07,840 Speaker 3: can't ask about it. I said, the letter, you can't ask. 1225 00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:10,160 Speaker 6: I went to my parents' house last night for an 1226 00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:12,920 Speaker 6: unrelated reason and had a brief talk with my brother 1227 00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:16,480 Speaker 6: that devolved into a shouting match. I started by showing 1228 00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:19,160 Speaker 6: him four different jobs I found online that he could 1229 00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:22,000 Speaker 6: apply for, but none of them were good enough for him, 1230 00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:24,680 Speaker 6: and he was insulted that I thought he would work 1231 00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:27,920 Speaker 6: these jobs. And that's and that's when the shouting match started. 1232 00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:31,240 Speaker 6: I'm an educator. I know I shouldn't have let myself 1233 00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:34,040 Speaker 6: get into a power struggle with him, But siblings just 1234 00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,480 Speaker 6: know how to push your buttons, you know, I think. 1235 00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:39,839 Speaker 3: That your parents are adults. It really sucks that your 1236 00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:42,040 Speaker 3: brother's taking advantage of them. I think that you can 1237 00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:44,520 Speaker 3: tell them what you're seeing. You can tell them, hey, 1238 00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:47,560 Speaker 3: he needs to get a freaking life. Yeah, and stop 1239 00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:50,400 Speaker 3: mooching off you guys. Hopefully they want to let that 1240 00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:55,319 Speaker 3: keep happening. That's they're adults. They're seemingly in you know, 1241 00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:59,239 Speaker 3: their right mind. She's so aware that she knows it elsewhere. 1242 00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,120 Speaker 3: It's like at a certain point, you can tell someone 1243 00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,120 Speaker 3: that they're in a bad situation, but you can't force 1244 00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:06,120 Speaker 3: them to leave it. Yeah, that doesn't mean you have 1245 00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:10,120 Speaker 3: to like involve yourself to an extreme where you're or 1246 00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,200 Speaker 3: you know, to the point where you were like hurting 1247 00:54:12,239 --> 00:54:13,520 Speaker 3: your own mental health. 1248 00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:16,880 Speaker 6: Yeah, I would say give your parents that threat of 1249 00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:20,960 Speaker 6: like I will report this anonymously. Yeah, you guys should 1250 00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:25,799 Speaker 6: change something. I continue to not financially support him like 1251 00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:29,160 Speaker 6: that part too. Yeah, good, don't do that. But Yeah, anyway, 1252 00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:31,680 Speaker 6: I was able to talk to my mom one on one, 1253 00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:34,680 Speaker 6: and she is totally unwilling to do anything about him. 1254 00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:36,839 Speaker 6: She will not even give him the deadline of when 1255 00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:39,200 Speaker 6: he has to have a job, nor will she stop 1256 00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:43,480 Speaker 6: lending him her car. She also reiterated how miserable she 1257 00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:46,319 Speaker 6: is in her own home with him being around, but 1258 00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:49,279 Speaker 6: she insists she feels so bad for him and she 1259 00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:51,920 Speaker 6: doesn't want to force him to do anything. So I 1260 00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:53,759 Speaker 6: told her that I am done with him and I 1261 00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:56,120 Speaker 6: will not be spending any time at their house as 1262 00:54:56,200 --> 00:54:58,640 Speaker 6: long as they continue to let him drain them of 1263 00:54:58,680 --> 00:55:02,239 Speaker 6: their health, finances, and mental well being. I told her 1264 00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,920 Speaker 6: she and Dad are welcome at my house anytime, but 1265 00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:07,520 Speaker 6: my brother is not. I have to tell you I 1266 00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:10,759 Speaker 6: have never felt like a crappier person. It is not 1267 00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:12,799 Speaker 6: in my nature to just give up on people. 1268 00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:15,200 Speaker 3: We have not given up on anyone. No, not, I 1269 00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:18,680 Speaker 3: have given up on themselves and fixing this situation. And 1270 00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:19,920 Speaker 3: that's not your fault. 1271 00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:22,560 Speaker 6: They are completely aware of the problem and are telling 1272 00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,120 Speaker 6: you flat out they don't. 1273 00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:27,080 Speaker 3: Want to do anything. Exactly, you cannot do anything if 1274 00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:28,640 Speaker 3: they don't want to help themselves. 1275 00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:30,680 Speaker 1: Hey, it's sam og host. We're going get back to 1276 00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:31,840 Speaker 1: these delectable stories. 1277 00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:33,920 Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to 1278 00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:34,719 Speaker 2: help support the show. 1279 00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:38,200 Speaker 3: My friend's sister confessed her feelings to me, but I 1280 00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:42,719 Speaker 3: see her as a sibling. Uh oh, sorry, girl. I 1281 00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:45,279 Speaker 3: twenty four male. I have been friends with Alex twenty 1282 00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:48,560 Speaker 3: four male since our middle school, or more than nineteen years. 1283 00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:52,040 Speaker 3: We were so close that we were always together, to 1284 00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:54,640 Speaker 3: the point where people thought that we were siblings. We 1285 00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:57,000 Speaker 3: lived in a small village in our houses were really 1286 00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:00,920 Speaker 3: close together, so throughout high school, higher secondary, and college, 1287 00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:03,399 Speaker 3: there were days we spent time and nights in each 1288 00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:06,920 Speaker 3: other's houses. I was literally like an adopted son to 1289 00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,640 Speaker 3: Alex's parents. By the way, this comes from need some 1290 00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:12,680 Speaker 3: advice please and if you want to submit your own stories, 1291 00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:15,160 Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay storytime supparad it. So 1292 00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:19,080 Speaker 3: Alex has a younger sister, Alena, twenty one female. I 1293 00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:22,759 Speaker 3: have no siblings, so the moment I met Alena, she 1294 00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:25,920 Speaker 3: has been like my own sister since I've always wanted 1295 00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:28,439 Speaker 3: to have a sister. Whenever I was in Alex's home, 1296 00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:31,200 Speaker 3: she always came and spent time with us. Me and 1297 00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:35,160 Speaker 3: Alex studied in the same higher secondary school and college 1298 00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:38,000 Speaker 3: near our village, that even in our late teens, our 1299 00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:41,040 Speaker 3: friendships still continued. Alena was so close to me that 1300 00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:43,719 Speaker 3: whenever Alex or her father weren't free, it was my 1301 00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:46,280 Speaker 3: job to take your shopping or to places she wanted 1302 00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:49,000 Speaker 3: to visit. So I was literally a second brother to her. 1303 00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:51,960 Speaker 3: We were so much like siblings that there were times 1304 00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:55,600 Speaker 3: I scolded and reprimanded her. She has always been obedient 1305 00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:58,080 Speaker 3: towards me, more than she has been to Alex. I 1306 00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:01,000 Speaker 3: wonder why so. Her parents always used to joke that 1307 00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:03,840 Speaker 3: I am a better brother to her than Alex dang Man. 1308 00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:06,480 Speaker 3: There was an incident that occurred when I was in college. 1309 00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:09,400 Speaker 3: I went to a movie alone since all my friends, 1310 00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:13,520 Speaker 3: including Alex, were busy with something. When the movie finished 1311 00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:15,680 Speaker 3: and I was coming out of the theater, I saw 1312 00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:18,000 Speaker 3: Elena and two of her female friends coming out of 1313 00:57:18,040 --> 00:57:20,800 Speaker 3: the same theater. I was surprised and went to ask 1314 00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:24,640 Speaker 3: what she was doing there. She was completely shocked to 1315 00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:28,440 Speaker 3: see me and started crying. She didn't say a word 1316 00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:32,439 Speaker 3: and continued crying, WHOA wow. When I saw that people 1317 00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:34,400 Speaker 3: were staring at us, I took her and her friends 1318 00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:38,280 Speaker 3: to a nearby cafe and started asking for details. They 1319 00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:41,240 Speaker 3: confess they cut their tuition class came to the movie 1320 00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:44,480 Speaker 3: without anyone knowing. I asked if they did this regularly, 1321 00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:46,160 Speaker 3: to which they said it was their first time and 1322 00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:49,280 Speaker 3: they'd never do it again. All this time, Alena never 1323 00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:52,200 Speaker 3: spoke a word, and she just continued crying. Oh my god, 1324 00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:54,640 Speaker 3: this is like when you do like something slightly bad, 1325 00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:58,360 Speaker 3: and then yeah, really, I'm sorry. I told them that 1326 00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:00,240 Speaker 3: this time I would help them to cover it up, 1327 00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:03,280 Speaker 3: but if I ever saw or knew about them doing 1328 00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:06,160 Speaker 3: it again, I would inform their parents. The girls agreed, 1329 00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:09,080 Speaker 3: and the two friends left. I bought Alena snacks for 1330 00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:12,040 Speaker 3: her to stop crying, and for some time she stopped 1331 00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:14,200 Speaker 3: crying and said she was sorry. I told her it 1332 00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:17,000 Speaker 3: was okay and to go home and never repeat this again. 1333 00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:20,640 Speaker 3: I never informed Alex or his parents. Three years ago, 1334 00:58:20,680 --> 00:58:22,960 Speaker 3: Elena got her admission in a college in a far 1335 00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:26,080 Speaker 3: away city that she had to move away. Her mother 1336 00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:29,320 Speaker 3: was so reluctant to send her away to a totally 1337 00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:33,080 Speaker 3: different city, Alena insisted it was her dream college that 1338 00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:35,800 Speaker 3: she wanted to study there, so she moved away to 1339 00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:38,200 Speaker 3: the new city. When I was in my last year 1340 00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:41,120 Speaker 3: of college. Two years ago, I graduated and got a 1341 00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:43,840 Speaker 3: job in the same city Elena was studying it. Alex 1342 00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:46,320 Speaker 3: got a job in another city, which is even farther 1343 00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,160 Speaker 3: away from both our village and the city. I got 1344 00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:51,560 Speaker 3: the job in. Both of us were sad that we 1345 00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:55,240 Speaker 3: had to separate after more than seventeen years of being together, 1346 00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:57,880 Speaker 3: but his mom was really happy about me getting a 1347 00:58:57,960 --> 00:58:59,960 Speaker 3: job in the city that Elena was in. She said 1348 00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,840 Speaker 3: she can finally be at ease since I was there 1349 00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:05,760 Speaker 3: to look after Elena if anything happened to her. So 1350 00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:07,920 Speaker 3: when I moved to the new city, Alena was there 1351 00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:10,760 Speaker 3: to collect me from the railway station along with her friends. 1352 00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:15,000 Speaker 2: Knowing this guy, Elena probably like wore something really cute. 1353 00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:18,360 Speaker 3: Oh yeah. She was like, oh my god, I'm really 1354 00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:21,000 Speaker 3: pick him up from the station. Yeah, and all of 1355 00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:22,360 Speaker 3: her friends like. 1356 00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:23,960 Speaker 1: Did he get him a hug around his neck? 1357 00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:25,080 Speaker 3: Yeah? 1358 00:59:25,120 --> 00:59:26,480 Speaker 1: And he's just like, h. 1359 00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:31,240 Speaker 3: How's a little I don't know, probably closes are. 1360 00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:35,560 Speaker 1: Like chicken chicken. 1361 00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:38,160 Speaker 3: That was a little chicken doon and she's like, ah ha, 1362 00:59:38,600 --> 00:59:41,720 Speaker 3: you know that's not my name. Alena and four of 1363 00:59:41,760 --> 00:59:44,600 Speaker 3: her friends lived together in a rented house near their campus. 1364 00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:47,400 Speaker 3: I introduced myself as Elena's brother's friend. All of them 1365 00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:50,720 Speaker 3: were communicating something through their eyes. Later I start Later, 1366 00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:52,920 Speaker 3: I settled at a place near my company. It was 1367 00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:55,680 Speaker 3: only thirty minutes away from Elena's campus. She and her 1368 00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:57,800 Speaker 3: friends took me to the major places in the city 1369 00:59:57,880 --> 01:00:00,360 Speaker 3: that evening. Since it was my first time here, I 1370 01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:02,720 Speaker 3: was really happy to be taken care of by them. 1371 01:00:02,920 --> 01:00:04,880 Speaker 3: For the last two years I have been living in 1372 01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:07,720 Speaker 3: the city. During Elena's vacations, we went back to our 1373 01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:10,480 Speaker 3: village together and came back together. I was gifted my 1374 01:00:10,520 --> 01:00:13,000 Speaker 3: own car a year ago by my parents. Now I 1375 01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:15,680 Speaker 3: am well acquainted with all of Elena's friends that I 1376 01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:18,560 Speaker 3: take them for shopping and movies during some weekends. There 1377 01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:20,760 Speaker 3: were times I was even called to the house they 1378 01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:24,160 Speaker 3: live in to move furniture or change lights. They even 1379 01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:26,800 Speaker 3: cooked for me and we ate together at their house 1380 01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:29,640 Speaker 3: on some holidays. I've already told them, no matter what 1381 01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:32,240 Speaker 3: the place or time is, if they needed help, be 1382 01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:35,120 Speaker 3: sure to call me. Today, when I reached my room 1383 01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:37,880 Speaker 3: after work, I got a call from Elena's number. I 1384 01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:40,240 Speaker 3: took the call and one of Alena's friends said she 1385 01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:43,320 Speaker 3: will share a location and asked for me to be there. 1386 01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:46,240 Speaker 3: I asked what happened and she said I will understand 1387 01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:48,600 Speaker 3: once I'm there. So I took my car and went 1388 01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:53,400 Speaker 3: to the location they shared dude. There, I saw Elena 1389 01:00:53,560 --> 01:00:56,440 Speaker 3: and three of her friends outside a pub. Alena was 1390 01:00:56,440 --> 01:00:59,360 Speaker 3: sitting on a bench outside, while all three other girls 1391 01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:02,160 Speaker 3: were standing next her. I went to them and asked 1392 01:01:02,240 --> 01:01:05,680 Speaker 3: what happened. They said they just came for some drinks, 1393 01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:09,360 Speaker 3: and Elena got withted. It was not a shock to me, 1394 01:01:09,440 --> 01:01:11,640 Speaker 3: since I knew these girls went out for drinks occasionally 1395 01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:13,840 Speaker 3: and I used to pick them up sometimes. They said 1396 01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:16,240 Speaker 3: they needed help to bring Elena back to their house. 1397 01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:19,280 Speaker 3: I went near Elena and asked if she could walk. 1398 01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:22,800 Speaker 3: She opened her eyes and looked at me. She called 1399 01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:23,880 Speaker 3: out my name loudly. 1400 01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:27,600 Speaker 1: Be why you here? 1401 01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:30,600 Speaker 3: I told her I came to take her back home. 1402 01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:33,640 Speaker 3: She didn't reply. She screamed at her friends, asking them 1403 01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:36,400 Speaker 3: why they called me when she was this wasteed. Her 1404 01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:38,320 Speaker 3: friends were looking at each other and not knowing what 1405 01:01:38,440 --> 01:01:41,000 Speaker 3: to say. I carried her to my car and sat 1406 01:01:41,040 --> 01:01:43,280 Speaker 3: her on the front seat. Then I asked the rest 1407 01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:44,880 Speaker 3: of the girls to get in. They said they were 1408 01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:48,800 Speaker 3: not planning to turn yet and they were still friends 1409 01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:52,000 Speaker 3: waiting for them inside. I asked them how they planned 1410 01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:54,360 Speaker 3: to return. They said they don't plan on drinking anymore, 1411 01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:56,440 Speaker 3: and they'll call a cab. They said one of their 1412 01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:58,960 Speaker 3: friends is still home. She doesn't drink, so she decided 1413 01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:02,000 Speaker 3: to stay home and she will look after Elena. That 1414 01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:03,640 Speaker 3: all I have to do is take her home. I 1415 01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:06,480 Speaker 3: told him good night and started driving. Elena was still 1416 01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:08,840 Speaker 3: sitting next to me, silent and was staring at me. 1417 01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:11,800 Speaker 3: I wanted to talk, but decided not to since she 1418 01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:15,920 Speaker 3: was too wasted. After driving for about ten minutes, Elena 1419 01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:18,760 Speaker 3: told me to stop the car. I stopped it and 1420 01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:22,120 Speaker 3: Elena started throwing out through the window. I waited for 1421 01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:25,120 Speaker 3: her to finish. After finishing, she started crying and started 1422 01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:27,240 Speaker 3: bawling that she was sorry and asked me not to 1423 01:02:27,240 --> 01:02:30,160 Speaker 3: hate her. She kept on apologizing and asked me not 1424 01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:33,160 Speaker 3: to scold her. I turned the car off and told 1425 01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:36,160 Speaker 3: her not to worry. I told her this happened sometimes 1426 01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:38,320 Speaker 3: and there's nothing to be ashamed of even though I 1427 01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:41,360 Speaker 3: don't drink. I've had friends and coworkers who got wasted 1428 01:02:41,360 --> 01:02:44,520 Speaker 3: and threw up a lot. But she still kept apologizing 1429 01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:47,240 Speaker 3: and told me not to hate her. I totally had 1430 01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:50,680 Speaker 3: no idea what to do next. Then she started saying 1431 01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:53,120 Speaker 3: that it hurts the most when I scold her. She 1432 01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:55,600 Speaker 3: said she never gets this much hurt, even if Alex 1433 01:02:55,680 --> 01:02:57,920 Speaker 3: or her father scold her. I was happy to hear 1434 01:02:58,000 --> 01:02:59,920 Speaker 3: that she gave me that much respect to her. 1435 01:03:00,520 --> 01:03:03,000 Speaker 7: Yeah, it's probably just because, I mean, we know that 1436 01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:06,200 Speaker 7: she likes him yet, like also, like even if she 1437 01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:08,720 Speaker 7: didn't even realize that at first, Like, I'm sure that 1438 01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:11,480 Speaker 7: would kind of hurt. If it's like someone that you 1439 01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:13,040 Speaker 7: really care about her, you really want. 1440 01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:15,200 Speaker 3: To like like you back. Yeah, that would make sense. 1441 01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:17,840 Speaker 3: I understand why she thinks that, but it's to him 1442 01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:22,120 Speaker 3: being like, I love that she respects me so much. Yeah, well, 1443 01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:25,680 Speaker 3: the situation is just strange. So I didn't speak and 1444 01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:28,240 Speaker 3: let her finish her ranting. She said she doesn't want 1445 01:03:28,320 --> 01:03:33,840 Speaker 3: me to hate or think she's a bad girl and wasted. 1446 01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:36,680 Speaker 3: It was then she started saying things I never thought 1447 01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:38,800 Speaker 3: I would hear from her. She said she's always had 1448 01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:41,080 Speaker 3: a crush on me since high school. She said she 1449 01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:43,280 Speaker 3: was so in love with me that she made reasons 1450 01:03:43,280 --> 01:03:45,640 Speaker 3: to go out with me for shopping those days. She said, 1451 01:03:45,680 --> 01:03:47,800 Speaker 3: you always love to spend time with me whenever I 1452 01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:49,840 Speaker 3: went there to their house. She said she loved the 1453 01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:51,840 Speaker 3: way I looked, I talked, I took care of her. 1454 01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:54,600 Speaker 3: She said she loved everything about me. She said she 1455 01:03:54,680 --> 01:03:56,840 Speaker 3: was devastated the day I caught her at the movie theater, 1456 01:03:57,360 --> 01:03:59,920 Speaker 3: not because she was afraid of her parents, but because 1457 01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:03,080 Speaker 3: she was afraid I would think that she's a bad girl, 1458 01:04:03,560 --> 01:04:06,080 Speaker 3: she said. She cried about it the following days after 1459 01:04:06,120 --> 01:04:08,760 Speaker 3: the incident. She said that all this time she knew 1460 01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:10,880 Speaker 3: that I only viewed her as my sister, and it 1461 01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:13,680 Speaker 3: hurts her a lot. She always wanted me to view 1462 01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:16,600 Speaker 3: her as a girl rather than my sister. This is 1463 01:04:16,640 --> 01:04:21,640 Speaker 3: such a rom com, dude, Yeah, yeah, m She said. 1464 01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:24,000 Speaker 3: She went far away from our village for college in 1465 01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:26,440 Speaker 3: order to get away from me and her feelings towards me. 1466 01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:28,960 Speaker 3: She called me an aole for following her to the 1467 01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:31,040 Speaker 3: new city just when she was trying to move on. 1468 01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:33,680 Speaker 3: She said, seeing me at the railway station that day 1469 01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:36,080 Speaker 3: made all of her feelings for me flood back at her. 1470 01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:39,080 Speaker 3: She said that the last two years she enjoyed spending 1471 01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:42,360 Speaker 3: time with me again, that all the weekend plans and 1472 01:04:42,400 --> 01:04:45,000 Speaker 3: household chores were planned for her to spend more time 1473 01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:48,280 Speaker 3: with me. She kept on bawling and weeping. She even 1474 01:04:48,320 --> 01:04:51,000 Speaker 3: said she rejected two guys who asked her out during 1475 01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:53,640 Speaker 3: the last three years just because of her love for me, 1476 01:04:54,280 --> 01:04:57,160 Speaker 3: She said, I'm so insensitive and cruel for treating her 1477 01:04:57,240 --> 01:05:04,400 Speaker 3: like a sister. Actual drop bears smut prolonged. Yeah, yeah, 1478 01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:06,560 Speaker 3: she said. She tried to hate me as much as 1479 01:05:06,560 --> 01:05:09,480 Speaker 3: she could, but no matter how hard she tried, she 1480 01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:12,160 Speaker 3: couldn't find it in her heart to do so. She 1481 01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:14,880 Speaker 3: said I should at least give her a chance. After 1482 01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:17,880 Speaker 3: ranting all this time, she then continued crying for some time, 1483 01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:21,600 Speaker 3: and it slowly calmed down. I was frozen in my seat, 1484 01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:25,880 Speaker 3: searching for words. After she calmed down, we both stayed 1485 01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:30,720 Speaker 3: silent for some time. I was totally confused, and never 1486 01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:34,240 Speaker 3: in my twenty four years of life had I ever 1487 01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:36,560 Speaker 3: felt this lost. I asked her if I could start 1488 01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:39,360 Speaker 3: the car. She stayed silent. Wait what when? 1489 01:05:40,800 --> 01:05:40,960 Speaker 6: Oh? 1490 01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:51,000 Speaker 3: When she started throwing up. Oh okay, she's like. 1491 01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:52,920 Speaker 1: Literal wors Yeah, and she's explained. 1492 01:05:53,800 --> 01:05:55,920 Speaker 3: He's like Miss Suzy says, the girl needs to lay 1493 01:05:55,920 --> 01:05:59,600 Speaker 3: off the romance. Not literally, the thing is that I mean, 1494 01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:03,520 Speaker 3: I know she's a little tipsy. We both stayed silent 1495 01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:05,840 Speaker 3: throughout the drive. It was so tense that I could 1496 01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:08,400 Speaker 3: hear my own heartbeat. When we reached her house, I 1497 01:06:08,440 --> 01:06:10,720 Speaker 3: got out of the car and went to open the 1498 01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:13,080 Speaker 3: door for her, but she actually opened it and tried 1499 01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:16,640 Speaker 3: to storm out. I could see that she was angry, sad, 1500 01:06:16,760 --> 01:06:20,560 Speaker 3: and embarrassed. It didn't feel like she was wasted anymore, 1501 01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:24,560 Speaker 3: or so I thought. After taking two steps outside the car, 1502 01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:28,120 Speaker 3: she fell down a losing balance. I ran and tried 1503 01:06:28,160 --> 01:06:29,920 Speaker 3: to help her up. She shout it at me not 1504 01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:32,440 Speaker 3: to touch her and not to even talk to herver again. 1505 01:06:32,760 --> 01:06:35,040 Speaker 3: I stood there for a minute, not knowing what to do. 1506 01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:37,960 Speaker 3: Then I went and knocked on the door of her house. 1507 01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:40,680 Speaker 3: Her friend came and opened the door. Seeing me, she 1508 01:06:40,760 --> 01:06:43,280 Speaker 3: was confused at first, Then seeing Alena sitting on the 1509 01:06:43,280 --> 01:06:45,320 Speaker 3: ground in the front yard made. 1510 01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:46,480 Speaker 1: Her more confused. 1511 01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:49,040 Speaker 3: She asked me what happened, and I told her to 1512 01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:51,360 Speaker 3: help Elena get up and take her inside. Though she 1513 01:06:51,480 --> 01:06:55,280 Speaker 3: was confused, she nodded and took Alena inside. After two minutes, 1514 01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:57,760 Speaker 3: she came out and asked I told her we had 1515 01:06:57,760 --> 01:06:59,880 Speaker 3: a little fight and asked her to take care of 1516 01:06:59,880 --> 01:07:02,560 Speaker 3: her Lena that I told her good night and drove 1517 01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:03,920 Speaker 3: back to my room. Wow. 1518 01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:07,560 Speaker 7: He like he like closes the door in his bedroom 1519 01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:09,800 Speaker 7: and then like puts his back against dor and sinks 1520 01:07:09,840 --> 01:07:10,720 Speaker 7: to the ground. 1521 01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:15,600 Speaker 3: Like he like slams his fist against the walls. Yeah, 1522 01:07:16,040 --> 01:07:19,440 Speaker 3: he's looking out the windows. He has his hand against 1523 01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:20,280 Speaker 3: the windows. 1524 01:07:20,720 --> 01:07:22,560 Speaker 1: And then it's like. 1525 01:07:27,360 --> 01:07:29,880 Speaker 3: And then and then it cuts to transitions to her 1526 01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:33,040 Speaker 3: looking out the window too. Yeah, a bit different when 1527 01:07:34,320 --> 01:07:37,320 Speaker 3: she's up, she's. 1528 01:07:37,680 --> 01:07:40,560 Speaker 1: In the store, the rates pouring her. 1529 01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:46,400 Speaker 3: Her eyes. This is where I am now, sitting on 1530 01:07:46,440 --> 01:07:48,760 Speaker 3: my bed type in this, I tried to sort out 1531 01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:52,320 Speaker 3: all my thoughts and feelings. Nothing is helping me reach anywhere. 1532 01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:54,840 Speaker 3: I'm totally lost. It's not the first time that a 1533 01:07:54,880 --> 01:07:57,200 Speaker 3: girl told me she loves me. I was asked out 1534 01:07:57,200 --> 01:08:00,240 Speaker 3: by both in college and uh by one one of 1535 01:08:00,240 --> 01:08:03,000 Speaker 3: my coworkers. I kindly rejected them. I don't think I'm 1536 01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:06,360 Speaker 3: mentally mature enough for any relationship. I had crushes in 1537 01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:09,080 Speaker 3: high school, but never even thought about a relationship. I've 1538 01:08:09,120 --> 01:08:11,840 Speaker 3: been single my whole life, and I've never even held 1539 01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:14,400 Speaker 3: hands with a girl romantically. I always thought that the 1540 01:08:14,440 --> 01:08:16,280 Speaker 3: one I need would naturally come to me when it's 1541 01:08:16,320 --> 01:08:19,040 Speaker 3: the right time. Wow. Knowing that the girl I've considered 1542 01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:21,280 Speaker 3: my own sister my whole life has been crushing on 1543 01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:24,040 Speaker 3: me is the biggest shock I've ever had. What should 1544 01:08:24,040 --> 01:08:27,000 Speaker 3: I do now cut contact with her? Dang, But what 1545 01:08:27,040 --> 01:08:29,400 Speaker 3: will I tell Alex and her parents? Should I speak 1546 01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:31,000 Speaker 3: to her? But what can I tell her other than 1547 01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:33,400 Speaker 3: the thing she already knows that she's like a sister 1548 01:08:33,479 --> 01:08:36,080 Speaker 3: to me. I mean, if you're waiting for the one 1549 01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:39,040 Speaker 3: to come, maybe the girl's been in front of your 1550 01:08:39,080 --> 01:08:40,719 Speaker 3: eyes this whole time. 1551 01:08:40,920 --> 01:08:43,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, he's never out of relationship or held hands with 1552 01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:46,479 Speaker 4: a girl. That just adds to the rom causes your time. 1553 01:08:46,560 --> 01:08:48,320 Speaker 4: Man hold hands with her. 1554 01:08:48,080 --> 01:08:52,120 Speaker 3: Hold hands with her. Maybe you'll feel that sparking. If 1555 01:08:52,120 --> 01:08:54,800 Speaker 3: you really don't have feelings for this girl, talk to her, 1556 01:08:54,960 --> 01:08:59,440 Speaker 3: say hey, don't cut her off. Uh, say hey, I'm 1557 01:08:59,479 --> 01:09:02,639 Speaker 3: really sorry. I see you as a sister. I will 1558 01:09:02,640 --> 01:09:04,960 Speaker 3: always love you as a sister. I think you're very 1559 01:09:04,960 --> 01:09:07,920 Speaker 3: important to me. And then like, see what she needs? 1560 01:09:07,960 --> 01:09:10,439 Speaker 3: Does she need space? Does she need time away from you? 1561 01:09:10,840 --> 01:09:12,920 Speaker 3: I don't have to cut anything off. I don't think 1562 01:09:12,960 --> 01:09:15,800 Speaker 3: you even need to tell her brother this is her thing. 1563 01:09:15,840 --> 01:09:20,120 Speaker 3: Don't embarrass her. Just have a conversation with her exactly. Definitely, 1564 01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:22,720 Speaker 3: don't cut her off. Just maybe we shouldn't hang out. 1565 01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:25,240 Speaker 3: I maybe we shouldn't hang out this much. I never 1566 01:09:25,320 --> 01:09:27,519 Speaker 3: knew this was what she was feeling all this time. 1567 01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:30,479 Speaker 3: It's more than ten years. I feel guilty for hurting 1568 01:09:30,520 --> 01:09:32,800 Speaker 3: a girl for this long. I want her to move on. 1569 01:09:33,360 --> 01:09:36,000 Speaker 3: Knowing that she's refusing to be in another relationship because 1570 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:39,639 Speaker 3: of me is hurting me more. She's rejecting the love 1571 01:09:39,960 --> 01:09:43,639 Speaker 3: she deserves for the love she may never get. Can 1572 01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:45,760 Speaker 3: I ever give her a chance like she asked and 1573 01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:48,880 Speaker 3: love her as a woman? Can a man change his 1574 01:09:48,960 --> 01:09:51,679 Speaker 3: brotherly feelings yet towards a girl his whole life into 1575 01:09:51,720 --> 01:09:55,000 Speaker 3: romantic feelings overnight. I'm only even considering this option because 1576 01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:56,680 Speaker 3: I never want to lose her from my life. She 1577 01:09:56,880 --> 01:09:59,240 Speaker 3: is that dear to me. Even if I can, how 1578 01:09:59,280 --> 01:10:01,600 Speaker 3: will I face out and his parents? Was it my 1579 01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:04,160 Speaker 3: mistake that she felt this way? Should I realize that 1580 01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:07,439 Speaker 3: an adopted brother would never be the same as a 1581 01:10:07,479 --> 01:10:10,240 Speaker 3: blood brother? Was I wrong to expect her to look 1582 01:10:10,280 --> 01:10:13,000 Speaker 3: the same way and I looked at her? Someone please 1583 01:10:13,600 --> 01:10:16,000 Speaker 3: get that line I think he's saying, like it was 1584 01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:18,960 Speaker 3: it wrong to think that like me, thinking that we 1585 01:10:18,960 --> 01:10:21,840 Speaker 3: were had a sibling relationship was the same as her 1586 01:10:22,120 --> 01:10:25,559 Speaker 3: actual sibling relationship. Okay, okay, I am totally lost. How 1587 01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:28,120 Speaker 3: should I move forward in my relationship with her, And 1588 01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:30,479 Speaker 3: I've already said if you're not sure, go on a 1589 01:10:30,520 --> 01:10:32,800 Speaker 3: date with her. I don't know. If you are sure, 1590 01:10:32,920 --> 01:10:34,120 Speaker 3: don't date her and tell her. 1591 01:10:34,040 --> 01:10:35,919 Speaker 1: That you questioning. 1592 01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:39,639 Speaker 3: Yeah, tell her, tell her like, hey, girl, I don't 1593 01:10:39,640 --> 01:10:41,760 Speaker 3: know if I like you. I've always seen you as 1594 01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:44,519 Speaker 3: a sister. I'd be down to go on a date, 1595 01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:46,080 Speaker 3: but I don't want this to change. Like, can we 1596 01:10:46,160 --> 01:10:48,439 Speaker 3: be careful about this or be like eah, girl, I 1597 01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:51,200 Speaker 3: don't like you at all. Like that, let's be friends. 1598 01:10:51,439 --> 01:10:52,080 Speaker 3: What do you need