Speaker 1: Are you leave in I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 1: Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how
Speaker 1: much baggage you claim and.
Speaker 2: Give us time and a terminol and gay a. We
Speaker 2: want to send you off InStyle.
Speaker 1: We want to welcome you back home. Tell us all
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: Porn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride.
Speaker 3: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 2: And this is Karen kill Gareth.
Speaker 3: Oh that was professional, Thank you pal provision.
Speaker 2: You're drunk again.
Speaker 3: God damn it. And I even had anything to drink
Speaker 3: for two days. It's weird how it stays in your bloodstream.
Speaker 2: Did you get drunk recently?
Speaker 3: I mean sometimes to take the edge off, I'll have
Speaker 3: I'll crush a few white claws, sure to do my cameos,
Speaker 3: just to summon the the peppiness, the nice yeah, and
Speaker 3: then it ruins the whole next day. I'm not good
Speaker 3: at but no, I've been trying not to, to be honest,
Speaker 3: no judgments. I love drinking. I know that you're a
Speaker 3: fan of it, but you're not. You don't practice, that's right, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I preach. I still practice.
Speaker 4: We should introduce our guests so she doesn't have to
Speaker 4: watch us talk to each other. Which is one of
Speaker 4: the weirder elements of podcasting is when you're the guest,
Speaker 4: you never know when it's your turn, right, it's always.
Speaker 2: That's always like a weird thing.
Speaker 3: It does it differently, and we right in the beginning,
Speaker 3: she was trying to show off at Chili's gift card
Speaker 3: and I cut her off. So now Fortune write.
Speaker 4: Down, foot it down, ladies and gentlemen. We're so thrilled
Speaker 4: to have our guests for today. You know her and
Speaker 4: you love her. It's Fortune femster.
Speaker 1: Hiiy. I feel so bad I mess up Chris's intro
Speaker 1: trying to brag about a Chili's gift card.
Speaker 3: It's whatever you're most excited about. Let it just ride
Speaker 3: out of the gates.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just tell us, what's the story? How did you
Speaker 2: get it? How gave it to you?
Speaker 1: Listen? Well, first of all, if we were all in
Speaker 1: a car together post pandemic, we would be going there
Speaker 1: and I would be splurging on a triple Dipper for
Speaker 1: all of us.
Speaker 3: Oh wait, what is that about to describe the Triple Dipper?
Speaker 1: The Triple Dipper is, uh, it's their appetizer and you
Speaker 1: get three choices, and there's a list of things you
Speaker 1: can choose from, hence the Triple Dipper, and they all
Speaker 1: have dips. It could be boneless buffalo wings. I am
Speaker 1: not and I'm not getting paid by Chili's to say this.
Speaker 1: They have sliders of Southwestern eggirls. I just happened to
Speaker 1: be sitting here at my desk and saw this gift card.
Speaker 1: My mom usually sends them to me. Oh yeah, because.
Speaker 4: She there's a quarantine. Does she know about the pandemic?
Speaker 2: You should tell her?
Speaker 1: Well, she doesn't know what to buy me. I'm a
Speaker 1: hard gift person to give gifts to because I don't
Speaker 1: like a lot of stuff. So she's just started sending
Speaker 1: like whatever gift cards in the grocery store. Yes, he
Speaker 1: just grabs it and goes that. I do think those present.
Speaker 4: Those gift card stations are kind of brilliant because they
Speaker 4: solve problems. I feel like kids these days don't want
Speaker 4: you to buy you. Some don't want you to buy
Speaker 4: them something specific they want, like iTunes or yeah whatever.
Speaker 2: Up cash just money? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Does your mom ever just give you money?
Speaker 1: Still occasionally, but then like thirty minutes later, she's like,
Speaker 1: I gotta go to the dentist and it's expensive, and
Speaker 1: I'm all like, well, here's one hundred.
Speaker 3: Does this Chili's card help with your teeth?
Speaker 2: Does your Chili's cards?
Speaker 1: That's probably what's better. I get the gift cards. Then
Speaker 1: I don't have to give those back, that's right.
Speaker 3: And I don't want to go back into this triple
Speaker 3: dipper conversation, but it seems like a menu item where
Speaker 3: they would boast the thousands of combinations because you have
Speaker 3: three dips, and then I'm guessing you have three different
Speaker 3: food items out of a dozen that they offer. So
Speaker 3: if you think it's around that, yeah, so it's three
Speaker 3: times a dozen. Okay, I guess I did the math.
Speaker 1: Maybe ten things I can't, I'm not. I mean, I
Speaker 1: love it, but I haven't memorized them.
Speaker 2: In you well, the formula, here's what you do. You
Speaker 2: get potato skins. It'd be amazing if I just listed off.
Speaker 3: I think you're right. I think the last time I
Speaker 3: was at Chili's I did have potato skins.
Speaker 4: I mean, I remember the first time I saw potato
Speaker 4: skins get served, you know, it was probably twelve or
Speaker 4: fourteen or something. I was just like, they've done it,
Speaker 4: They've made the perfect food. And sorry, no, no, no.
Speaker 3: This is the best thing to interrupt you with because
Speaker 3: I've sung it before. But potato skins got extra tato
Speaker 3: appeal because they're made with potatoes and skins that are real.
Speaker 3: And then they list the that's a keypler el Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 3: one of my jam bands we did food.
Speaker 1: Rock college acappella group.
Speaker 3: That song does go into an acapella because they go
Speaker 3: sour cream and cheddar something something chives you won't believe
Speaker 3: your eyes.
Speaker 1: And then someone beat boxes yeah, yes, oh yeah, they.
Speaker 3: Just have one culturally inappropriate elf beat boxing with a
Speaker 3: sideways hat.
Speaker 4: Why would the keebler elves be involved in a potato
Speaker 4: skin at commercial?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know either.
Speaker 3: Tato skins. I think they were called PoTA skins. They're
Speaker 3: chip oh those chips. Yeah. They were darker on one
Speaker 3: side and lighter on the other, much like a Chris pix.
Speaker 3: One side was the skin and the other side of
Speaker 3: the chip was the tater. So you're at them yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 3: well they did that because everyone knows the nutrients are
Speaker 3: in the skin. If you know anything about a baked
Speaker 3: potato and being forced to clean your plate, you have
Speaker 3: to eat that skin skin.
Speaker 2: It's good for you. Yeah yeah, yeah, Well goodbye.
Speaker 1: Well this has been a great podcast.
Speaker 2: That's all I had to say.
Speaker 1: We gave Chilis a lot of love.
Speaker 3: I mean, on this podcast we say goodbye to uh
Speaker 3: conversation topics.
Speaker 2: It wasn't I didn't doesn't going.
Speaker 4: I mean, like, I feel like I'm a real snob
Speaker 4: and before quarantine, if somebody said, hey, can we all
Speaker 4: meet it Chili's, well I wouldn't. I would be like, sure,
Speaker 4: that sounds awesome. I can figure something out, but like,
Speaker 4: but overall, I would you know, I feel like I
Speaker 4: would have an elitist reaction, whereas now I would kill
Speaker 4: a human being to get to go to a Chili's normal.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would swerve and had a pedestrian if it
Speaker 3: was on the way to cracker barrel.
Speaker 1: Just remember the days when we could share dips. Oh,
Speaker 1: it seems very dangerous now.
Speaker 4: To lean over and gossip and eat dip. There's so
Speaker 4: much spit going. Don't think about it or care.
Speaker 1: Jack's my partner hates. She's a big germophobe. She hates
Speaker 1: any sort of communal dip. She thinks it's the devil,
Speaker 1: and it's like my greatest joy in life. I go
Speaker 1: to a party and head straight to the dip. And
Speaker 1: the last time I did it not this year, so
Speaker 1: it wasn't a COVID situation. And the year before I
Speaker 1: got a terrible flu because someone had been digging in
Speaker 1: the dip. I didn't know that she was sick. I
Speaker 1: dug in the dip right after her. That night, she
Speaker 1: goes on Instagram post a big instance story of all
Speaker 1: the cold medicines she's on. You know, like two days later,
Speaker 1: I was like out and I was sick for like
Speaker 1: three weeks.
Speaker 2: Oh dude, it's so irresponsible.
Speaker 1: You're it's so response you're.
Speaker 3: Gonna be I think I will be. Do you think
Speaker 3: you'll ever permanently? You're altered as far as sharing dip,
Speaker 3: like from here on out.
Speaker 1: I did not learn my lesson.
Speaker 2: She refuses that lesson.
Speaker 4: You know what's funny, I never thought twice about double
Speaker 4: dipping until that Seinfeld episode came out and people were like,
Speaker 4: it's disgusting or whatever.
Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, this.
Speaker 4: Entire time people have it like unnerved me. I'd never
Speaker 4: thought about it once. I'd gone in three four times
Speaker 4: on the single chip.
Speaker 2: Oh never thought about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me neither. Yeah, yeah, because you get the dip
Speaker 1: on a piece of the chip and then you have
Speaker 1: a whole half a chip that's lonely, yeah and needs
Speaker 1: dip right.
Speaker 2: And just because it's been all the way in the
Speaker 2: back of your mouth doesn't mean you shouldn't shove it
Speaker 2: right back into this was.
Speaker 1: As on it.
Speaker 3: When I was younger or in my early twenties, I
Speaker 3: was always I had like, here's where I'll eat for
Speaker 3: free on Tuesday. Here's where I eat on Wednesday. And
Speaker 3: Wednesday was there was a free salsa bar at some
Speaker 3: happy hour and I would eat there every Wednesday. And
Speaker 3: it was a line of people and it was college kids,
Speaker 3: so there's a lot of dudes with dreadlocks all lining
Speaker 3: up and they sometimes didn't have people would use chips
Speaker 3: to put the cheese. There was rarely a ladle for
Speaker 3: the cheese. It was the most communal when I think
Speaker 3: about it now, and I think I did get sick
Speaker 3: from that place multiple times, and I kept going.
Speaker 2: Back wait sorry, was it free like a nacho bar
Speaker 2: or a salsa.
Speaker 3: Bar, a nacho bar?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Oh so you could like build your free nachos
Speaker 2: basically free. Yeah, yeah, would they do that? But it
Speaker 2: was it was so messy just to get college kids
Speaker 2: to drink. So what is this socialism?
Speaker 3: I know? Why can't we go there? It was the
Speaker 3: beautiful late nineties. It's just yeah, we can't go back.
Speaker 3: I'm afraid, No, we cannot. No, there's no God.
Speaker 4: That makes me think of Specs Bar in San Francisco
Speaker 4: and North Beach. They would lay out saltine crackers with
Speaker 4: a slice of mild cheddar cheese, and so just go
Speaker 4: cheddar cheese cracker, cheddar cheese cracker, and then you're supposed
Speaker 4: to go in and pick your cheddar cheese and cracker
Speaker 4: as you're sitting at the bar getting drunk, which is
Speaker 4: kind of fun, but then you realize it's like sweaty cheese,
Speaker 4: like every party you've gone to where cheese sits out,
Speaker 4: like it's basically that cheese. But then in like a
Speaker 4: divy bar, it was hilarious and very unsanitary.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's your most dangerous communal eating situation?
Speaker 1: Gosh?
Speaker 2: I mean she kicked it off though, right, getting sick
Speaker 2: for three weeks. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, North Carolina they had like troughs of chili. You know,
Speaker 1: it just seems like par for the course.
Speaker 3: There was a late night eating situation in Portland where
Speaker 3: there was a cooking surface for everyone to use and
Speaker 3: they would actually give you raw meat, uh and you
Speaker 3: cook it yourself. That was a loophole to where they
Speaker 3: were serving food after midnight. I guess we're not serving it,
Speaker 3: they're cooking it. We're just providing the ingredients. There was
Speaker 3: I don't think it lasted long because you can't undercook
Speaker 3: chicken and just expect drunk hipster kids to cook their
Speaker 3: own chicken. But it was so great at the time.
Speaker 1: Again providing George Foreman grills for everyone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, everywhere your best.
Speaker 3: Here's the trough in case you get sick. That's gros.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a There was a bar in Sacramento, and
Speaker 4: it's unbelievable that I can't remember the name of it
Speaker 4: right now because we went there every weekend. But essentially
Speaker 4: there was free popcorn and movie popcorn, like super salty
Speaker 4: popcorn like the popcorn at Target is my favorite.
Speaker 2: That is like I could have it all day. And
Speaker 2: I remember being there one time with my sister and
Speaker 2: I walked over and got some free popcorn and she
Speaker 2: came I came back, and she just slapped out of
Speaker 2: my hand. She's like frat boys spit in there.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that's right, Like why would you be trusting
Speaker 4: a free kind of set out food at a bar
Speaker 4: where like college students go. We're clearly like spitting and
Speaker 4: pranking and ruining it for others.
Speaker 2: Yeah, would be kind of part of the course.
Speaker 3: Hey all eat it as long as the spit isn't
Speaker 3: from a fraternity, if it's a regular college kids academics
Speaker 3: frat boy.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Popcorn is always because they give you the cardboard boat
Speaker 3: and everyone just uses that as the tool. So your hands,
Speaker 3: your fingers, back, your hand, you're just knuckling through the kernels.
Speaker 2: So good though, it makes it saltier delicious.
Speaker 1: These are the things we're having to rethink. It's a
Speaker 1: tough world out there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is. I keep mentioning how bowling is over,
Speaker 3: but it is.
Speaker 1: You think it's done, yeah.
Speaker 2: Because the vaccine. Yeah, and it's going to come back
Speaker 2: with a vengeance.
Speaker 3: Right, Everyone's going to be rolling strikes left and right.
Speaker 3: Everyone's going to be good at it.
Speaker 2: It's just everyone's get real competitive about bowling.
Speaker 3: If people only want.
Speaker 1: The vaccine so they can go bowling, yep, that's right.
Speaker 3: We just have to wait for all the NFL players
Speaker 3: to be vaccinated first and then.
Speaker 2: Us are they? Is that the priority they go first?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, politicians and athletes and then civilians if you're
Speaker 3: willing to drive to their sub zero refrigerator. I'm just guessing.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing, right, it's like old people and sick people first.
Speaker 1: Then I think healthcare workers or switch those two. Yeah,
Speaker 1: then it's probably really rich people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, true, very true.
Speaker 1: Then then the commoners like like me, yeah, I'm a flannel.
Speaker 3: Right, yeah, I'm a surf.
Speaker 2: Then it's based on what plannel you're wearing.
Speaker 4: So the nicer your flannel, the further to the front
Speaker 4: you get.
Speaker 1: That will be interesting to see that how that rolls out.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I think no one knows.
Speaker 4: Yeah, how could we know when there's no plan in
Speaker 4: place there never has been, and there's no leadership and
Speaker 4: it's a pandemic.
Speaker 1: You guys, there's no plan. This is crazy.
Speaker 2: It's just kind of like an improv class, but a pandemic.
Speaker 1: Everybody, put your email on this din and sheet and
Speaker 1: we'll get a vaccine to you eventually.
Speaker 3: Your number didn't get pulled from the fish bowl. I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: but you can get on stage next week.
Speaker 2: We'll get you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just actually got Oh, I can tell I
Speaker 4: can tell a good here's a good anecdote. I just
Speaker 4: went because I'm going to go up to have Thanksgiving
Speaker 4: with my my pod, my immediate family. But I was like,
Speaker 4: but my dad's old, so I'm going to get a
Speaker 4: test first, just to make sure, even though I haven't
Speaker 4: left my house or done anything and have been masked
Speaker 4: up all the time. So I went to the Dodger
Speaker 4: Stadium Testing Center, which is where kind of everybody in
Speaker 4: LA is going. But I took the Google Maps directions there,
Speaker 4: so I had, like, because I am kind of familiar
Speaker 4: with like the Stadium Way exit, which is one of
Speaker 4: the worst. I won't get into it, one of the
Speaker 4: worst exits. If we were in the car, it would
Speaker 4: be this would be a great topic. But if you're
Speaker 4: trying to get off of the five South onto Stadium Way,
Speaker 4: you have to cross over people who are trying to
Speaker 4: get onto the five South from wherever their entrance is,
Speaker 4: and it's literally it's two lanes of people trying to
Speaker 4: merge against four lanes of people trying to merge.
Speaker 2: It's insanity.
Speaker 3: That was my complaint with all of Texas. You're getting
Speaker 3: on a two way front feet or road, so you
Speaker 3: have to cross an oncoming lane of traffic and all
Speaker 3: they have is a yield sign. So it's up to
Speaker 3: them whether you live or die a stranger.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you can drink in your truck right in Texas.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there's there's drive through boozebones.
Speaker 2: Roadies danger.
Speaker 4: So I get I make my everything's fine. I take
Speaker 4: Stadium Way exit and I'm just following what Google says.
Speaker 2: And after a little while.
Speaker 4: I can tell the car in front of me is
Speaker 4: just taking these turns that Google's telling me to take,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, this person knows where she's going, so
Speaker 4: I'm just going where she's going. Yeah, And then we
Speaker 4: get up to the street that's the last right turn
Speaker 4: before you're on the street that takes you into Dodger Stadium,
Speaker 4: and I go around the streets blocked off on the
Speaker 4: side where we were supposed to take the right and
Speaker 4: she just goes around that guard and the cop that's
Speaker 4: standing next to it and drives up the wrong side
Speaker 4: of the street.
Speaker 2: And keeps going up.
Speaker 3: So I do too.
Speaker 2: The cop doesn't even really look at us.
Speaker 4: He doesn't like, isn't paying attention or doesn't care seemingly,
Speaker 4: so I'm just and also Google's telling me to do it,
Speaker 4: so I'm like, everything's fine, get up to the stop sign.
Speaker 4: I watch her car go into the staff area, and
Speaker 4: then the cop that watches her go by comes up
Speaker 4: to my car with his lock on his face kind
Speaker 4: of like, and I rolled my window down and he goes, yeah,
Speaker 4: what are you doing? He goes, you don't work here
Speaker 4: to do? And I said, no, this is this is
Speaker 4: the way Google Maps told me to come. And he goes, no, no,
Speaker 4: this is the staff entrance and I go oh. He goes,
Speaker 4: wasn't there a cop down there? And I go, yeah,
Speaker 4: I guess now that you mentioned yeah there was, but
Speaker 4: I was just kind of following her, and he goes.
Speaker 3: Well you just.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like, don't pretend. But no he goes he goes, wow,
Speaker 4: well you just skipped an hour. Wait and then he goes,
Speaker 4: hold on, I'll stop traffic and he let me cut in,
Speaker 4: so I essentially there was the other way to go.
Speaker 2: I would have been obviously at the back of the
Speaker 2: line of hundreds and hundreds of cars.
Speaker 3: It's really crowded right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's so crowded. He let me cut into
Speaker 2: the top, so basically I took a rite and then
Speaker 2: I was basically you know, twentieth in line instead of
Speaker 2: like a thousand in line.
Speaker 1: It was I.
Speaker 2: Couldn't stop laughing. I was like, nothing like this ever
Speaker 2: happens to me.
Speaker 1: This is the best.
Speaker 2: Normally the cop would be like, turn around, get.
Speaker 1: Out, turn around, lady crime that guy.
Speaker 2: Right in there. It does Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 2: It just felt good. I want to tell you guys
Speaker 2: about positive stuff. Happy.
Speaker 1: No, I'm happy for you that you have that experience,
Speaker 1: because I'm a bit I'm a rule follower, and I
Speaker 1: freak out anytime I've done anything that might get reprimanded
Speaker 1: for me too. I would have started sweating and I
Speaker 1: literally yelled at this top.
Speaker 4: I swear I wasn't cheating because I am the same way,
Speaker 4: like I fear any kind of I don't fear it.
Speaker 4: It's just a thing of like I don't want to
Speaker 4: be the bad one, right, So yeah, I was just
Speaker 4: like wait what, But then I was also loving it
Speaker 4: because I was totally prepared to wait for a really
Speaker 4: long time because I've seen it on the news, like
Speaker 4: it's you know, yeah, it's a that line is long.
Speaker 3: I waited three hours once.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he has it gotten longer because of the uptick.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I've gone there a couple of weeks ago. I
Speaker 3: went there and there was no line and there was
Speaker 3: no line for voting. I just walked right in. But
Speaker 3: I lately, because of the new spike there, it's very
Speaker 3: popular to go get tested now, which is great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 3: I tried to go there, and I live right by
Speaker 3: Dodger Stadium, and it kind of just me to this
Speaker 3: other walk up testing place, which ironically was the most
Speaker 3: dangerous situation I've been in in months, other than the
Speaker 3: Joe Biden dance party.
Speaker 1: Surround the people yeah yeah, no one was.
Speaker 3: And then you get in a tent and you're supposed
Speaker 3: to cough. He's like, cough towards the street, not the sidewalk,
Speaker 3: and I'm like this is haphazard. Yeah no, yeah, cough
Speaker 3: towards the street, not the sidewalk. Those were words given
Speaker 3: to me. Aim your spittle. Yeah, be strategic with your
Speaker 3: spittle because there will be spittle. And uh yeah, someone
Speaker 3: came into my tent with me. I'm like, I think
Speaker 3: it's one at a time. I'm sorry. Yeah, don't do
Speaker 3: it on foot, okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we've all become tattle tellers. Get on a mask.
Speaker 1: They're too close. But whatever, you gotta do, whatever you
Speaker 1: gotta do.
Speaker 2: Have you been tested yet, fortune.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get I get tested fairly regularly because I
Speaker 1: started a new show. Oh good, So they have us
Speaker 1: go to a place where a nurse comes out and
Speaker 1: swabs your mouth and do.
Speaker 2: You have you gotten the one where they stick it
Speaker 2: in your nose? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I've done the nose one a couple of times. And
Speaker 1: I've done the equivalent of what you the Dodger one,
Speaker 1: but in Woodland Hills, So I've yeah, I've been because
Speaker 1: we were hunkered down pretty hardcore for a while, so
Speaker 1: there was no reason to get one for a while,
Speaker 1: wasn't in the last few months like we ended up.
Speaker 1: Uh well, we got married out of we decided out
Speaker 1: of nowhere and to plan a wedding in two and
Speaker 1: a half weeks. Nice, wait, what was that like the
Speaker 1: end of October.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, congratulations, congratulations, Hey, thanks guys, that's great.
Speaker 1: Yeah. We were we've been together five and a half
Speaker 1: years and we were gonna get married this summer anyway.
Speaker 1: We I mean, we hadn't planned anything, luckily, it was
Speaker 1: just going to be like a big party. And then
Speaker 1: obviously we were like, well that's not happening. Uh, and
Speaker 1: then we were well, to be honest, it was like
Speaker 1: this the Supreme Court thing shifted and we got nervous,
Speaker 1: and so we we didn't want and hopefully that it
Speaker 1: won't be an issue. Who knows, but we were like,
Speaker 1: why wait and see, let's just yeah, get married. So
Speaker 1: we planned it in like two and a half weeks.
Speaker 1: We had like, uh, two of my best friends who
Speaker 1: are her best friends, and then we zoomed our parents
Speaker 1: and that was that was it. Oh wow, we got
Speaker 1: so we all got COVID tested, uh so that we
Speaker 1: could pod together nice sat day.
Speaker 2: And where was was the officiant? Also on a zoom? Uh?
Speaker 1: No she was from she was from like the same
Speaker 1: day marriage place. Uh that we found on the corner.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like a lemonade stand.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry I didn't realize you live in Las veg
Speaker 4: Guess when did that house?
Speaker 1: It really is a place like that where it's it's
Speaker 1: close to where we live, and we passed by all
Speaker 1: the time and we would we would be like, oh
Speaker 1: that that that place. You know, I wonder why people
Speaker 1: are getting married same day, Like what's the circumstance? And
Speaker 1: then uh, we and they have like a little chapel
Speaker 1: that you can use, but you can also hire them
Speaker 1: to come somewhere, and uh, we found out that it's
Speaker 1: hard to get marriage licenses right now. A lot of
Speaker 1: the courthouses aren't giving them out. You were gonna have
Speaker 1: to we were gonna have to go like an hour
Speaker 1: and a half away. But then there weren't any appointments
Speaker 1: like January and this place you just pay them a
Speaker 1: couple of hundred dollars and they take care of everything.
Speaker 1: And now I think it's the greatest place in Los Angeles.
Speaker 3: It's that all they do are They also a notary
Speaker 3: and a place to buy car and.
Speaker 2: It's also a Chili's, isn't it.
Speaker 3: We got we're gonna trip our triples in lifetime together.
Speaker 4: That's how you could met is you was like all
Speaker 4: your spit and chips and everything going across.
Speaker 1: Ring. I think they're all they're just marriages, but they
Speaker 1: probably if you really needed a notary, I'm sure they
Speaker 1: also can.
Speaker 3: Do that good because I've been looking for one. That
Speaker 3: was a selfish question.
Speaker 1: You're like, I have no wor else to go but
Speaker 1: this marriage place. But I guess I get married so
Speaker 1: that she but she was that was outside, that part
Speaker 1: was outside, so she was masked up in away like
Speaker 1: six feet from us, and wow, all all responsibly and
Speaker 1: it was cool and it's been perfect. I'm like, people
Speaker 1: really don't need much more than this.
Speaker 2: They really don't.
Speaker 3: Did you propose in anywhere or was it just a
Speaker 3: conversation like about the legality being threatened on everything? Or
Speaker 3: did you get on did you have a proposed like
Speaker 3: get on a knee and everything.
Speaker 1: Uh, well, we'd been engaged for like two and a
Speaker 1: half years, so.
Speaker 2: Give us the engagement. What was the engagement story?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well it wasn't. I could have done better.
Speaker 2: Let's beginning.
Speaker 1: Let's hear it.
Speaker 3: What you do?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 1: I wanted to take her to I love this place
Speaker 1: up near Santa Barbara called San Ya Cedra Ranch. It's
Speaker 1: really beautiful and very romantic, lots of beautiful flowers and cottages.
Speaker 1: And we had gone there early on in our relationship
Speaker 1: and probably too soon, like I got a deal and
Speaker 1: I didn't know how fancy this place was, and I
Speaker 1: was just like, let's go to Santa Barbara for the night.
Speaker 1: And we got there and it was like so romantic
Speaker 1: for being early on, and.
Speaker 4: Early on, like three weeks in, were you scared like
Speaker 4: this could tip it.
Speaker 1: If she were the wrong person for me, it would
Speaker 1: have been like this is over, you're creeping me out,
Speaker 1: this is too much. But luckily, luckily she was the
Speaker 1: right one. But she was like, wow, you really assumed
Speaker 1: a lot. I was, like it was on sale. I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't know it was this fancy. I didn't know
Speaker 1: it was.
Speaker 3: A more than friend's establishment.
Speaker 2: GROUPON did not specifying.
Speaker 1: But now it's like they're normal prices. It's like twelve
Speaker 1: hundred a night and it wasn't anything near that when
Speaker 1: I it was like a wind, you know, it was
Speaker 1: like a Wednesday night or something that we went and
Speaker 1: uh and I got it like, you know, three days before,
Speaker 1: and so I was gonna propose there kind of full
Speaker 1: circle like ha ha, look it works out. The romance
Speaker 1: paid off, and uh, it was when all the mudslides
Speaker 1: were happy the fires and the mudslide so got they
Speaker 1: are wiped out. Luckily they've rebuilt since then. But I
Speaker 1: like a week before we were supposed to go, they
Speaker 1: were like it doesn't exist anymore. And you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: so I took her to page actually recommended. Uh what
Speaker 1: is it called. It's up in Big sir, It's another
Speaker 1: post ranch in Yeah, wow, And uh so I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: we'll go there. And I re I like really splurged
Speaker 1: and got a room on that had a full ocean
Speaker 1: view and it rained the entire time, and the fog
Speaker 1: was so heavy that you couldn't see your hand in
Speaker 1: front of your face, so you had no idea there
Speaker 1: was an ocean uh outside of our window that.
Speaker 2: You were paying dearly for what I was paying.
Speaker 1: So much more money for and uh and it was
Speaker 1: just like the whole We were there for two nights
Speaker 1: and it was like the whole time was things like that,
Speaker 1: Like everything was like a hair off.
Speaker 2: And uh that don't you think that happens? Because it
Speaker 2: was so expensive.
Speaker 4: I went to the same hotel and because it was
Speaker 4: this it was had a really stressful job.
Speaker 2: The guy was going out with at the time.
Speaker 4: It was like we're gonna get away or whatever, and
Speaker 4: I was like, this is really important to.
Speaker 2: Me and I want it to be super fancy.
Speaker 4: So I was gonna pay for because I was making
Speaker 4: more money, and every.
Speaker 2: Every single thing we did, I was just.
Speaker 3: Like, not worth it, not worth it.
Speaker 2: Not worth this room. It's like it's nice room, It's
Speaker 2: not worth the money. This is nice. Not worth So
Speaker 2: I think for I'm the kind of person where I'm like,
Speaker 2: it's I'm not comfortable being a big spender unless I
Speaker 2: know for a fact it's going to be like exactly
Speaker 2: the best thing in the world. It's so expensive, I know.
Speaker 1: And it was like at dinner. At dinner that we
Speaker 1: went to their nice restaurant and the like she hated
Speaker 1: everything over the menu and I was like, you know
Speaker 1: that was that was supposed to be like the romantic
Speaker 1: dinner lating to the proposal and uh, and so she's
Speaker 1: just like everything's disgusting.
Speaker 5: I like, just eat the quail, like cool, cool, cool cool,
Speaker 5: And then I tell I tell the waiter or I
Speaker 5: had asked them to, like, hey, while we're at dinner,
Speaker 5: can you like put like rose petals in the room
Speaker 5: and candles and stuff.
Speaker 1: They're like, got it, got it? And uh, So I
Speaker 1: tell the waiter, I'm like, hey, this is what I'm
Speaker 1: planning on doing. If if uh don't, you know, don't
Speaker 1: ask her for dessert because I'm doing it later, but
Speaker 1: can you just give me a thumbs up when the
Speaker 1: room's ready? And he's like, got it, got it. And
Speaker 1: so we're eating this meal that she hates and uh
Speaker 1: and then he's like, do you guys want dessert? And
Speaker 1: I'm like we're good and he's like he kept trying
Speaker 1: to get her to get dessert and I'm like, it's fine,
Speaker 1: don't don't worry about it. And then he eventually the
Speaker 1: room was ready and he goes over Jacqueline's head and
Speaker 1: he's like thumbs up, like like, oh my god. So
Speaker 1: the room's finally ready. We get to the room and
Speaker 1: it looked like they had taken every like dead rose
Speaker 1: petal that they had and not even like, you know,
Speaker 1: gently placed them on the like it was just like
Speaker 1: the room had thrown up dead white, white rose petals
Speaker 1: to like a funeral, like a funeral, not even romantic red.
Speaker 1: And then no, the candles were tea lights and all
Speaker 1: the batteries were like dying there. They did put the
Speaker 1: fire on, it was like raging and it melted all
Speaker 1: of the chocolate strawbirds. No, that was the dessert. And
Speaker 1: so we came in the room and both of us
Speaker 1: were just like, what's happened? It was like a funeral
Speaker 1: had to happen. And I mean, I'm telling you, I've
Speaker 1: never seen more rose petals in my life. And so
Speaker 1: I just like, awkwardly, I should have just been like,
Speaker 1: let's just do this over, you know, some other time,
Speaker 1: but I just like nerve, was like I had all
Speaker 1: this stuff planned, and I was just like, g you
Speaker 1: won't tom me.
Speaker 2: Your whole face is red from the fire.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like feeding your melted shrubbers.
Speaker 4: I see.
Speaker 1: It was pretty Uh it never goes as you plan, I.
Speaker 3: Guess, yeah, yeah, I can't. It's just funny that they
Speaker 3: weren't fresh. If they were dry, I imagine I'm going
Speaker 3: with like a shop back and just vacuuming a rose
Speaker 3: bush and then bringing it up to the room, pushing
Speaker 3: reverse and blowing everything. Why is there a receipt in
Speaker 3: here from eighty seven Romantic?
Speaker 1: Like you guys didn't have one red rose could have
Speaker 1: made a heart with something.
Speaker 2: Don't you think that's it?
Speaker 4: I think that all my perfectionism issues come up when
Speaker 4: I know I'm spending all this money, where it's like,
Speaker 4: I'm spending all this money, How did you not do
Speaker 4: this exactly to what I would want?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's because it's still just a hotel.
Speaker 4: It's still just a you know what I mean, You're
Speaker 4: basically paying to be on that strip of land that's
Speaker 4: on the correct side of the highway where you can
Speaker 4: see the ocean right exactly.
Speaker 2: How these beautiful views I mean crazy?
Speaker 3: No, it's you're right to be people should be held
Speaker 3: accountable when they charge a lot and should be held accountable.
Speaker 3: People accountability in this country. It just goes down a
Speaker 3: terrible but I appreciate it even more and mentioned it
Speaker 3: when I haven't paid a lot and something's good, and
Speaker 3: then I sound cheap because I'm like, I can't believe
Speaker 3: how inexpensive this was. And I really like this free
Speaker 3: nacho dip.
Speaker 2: It tastes like your breath.
Speaker 1: Okay, Second, I did learn about my about myself because
Speaker 1: I always yeah, I'm a silly person. I'm a comedian,
Speaker 1: but I always thought I, you know, was deep to
Speaker 1: a certain extemp. But having to like do that, like
Speaker 1: say like important words that romantic was very difficult.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I.
Speaker 1: Felt very vulnerable and dumb, and not because I loved her,
Speaker 1: I wanted to marry her, but just.
Speaker 4: That act of like sure, I don't know, total exposure
Speaker 4: and also kind of like that's the one time you
Speaker 4: cannot make a joke. You have to get the job
Speaker 4: done without sarcasm or yeah, silliness or anything.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It reminds me of how at funerals, like Karen and
Speaker 3: I both we just killed like it was a comedy show.
Speaker 3: Like I killed at my mom's funeral.
Speaker 4: I literally it was our child my childhood church filled
Speaker 4: entirely filled, and it was like.
Speaker 2: One of the greatest sets I've ever had.
Speaker 1: Yeah, very memorable, greats.
Speaker 3: When it's inappropriate, I will do my job.
Speaker 1: I tend to laugh when I'm uncomfortable too, like, and
Speaker 1: people will be like, and I'm like, I promise, I
Speaker 1: know that this is a serious and hard, but this
Speaker 1: is how my body's dealing with it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 4: I was almost in my friend Jay Johnston was driving.
Speaker 4: I think I was on a double date, him and
Speaker 4: his girlfriend and me and the person I was on
Speaker 4: the date with, and we're going down I think it
Speaker 4: was the five and he was driving so fat. He
Speaker 4: was going like almost one hundred miles an hour and
Speaker 4: weaving in and out of cars, and we were all trying.
Speaker 2: To be casual about it, but it was very scary.
Speaker 4: And then at one point he went to get in
Speaker 4: one lane and there was just a stop truck in
Speaker 4: front of us, and he had to like he had
Speaker 4: to basically just change lanes really really fast, hoping that
Speaker 4: there was no car. And every day the other two
Speaker 4: people in the car screamed and I started laughing.
Speaker 2: I was just like, oh my god, we're gonna die
Speaker 2: like this.
Speaker 1: Like on no way. Oh man, that's so scary. I
Speaker 1: had a friend do that once where we were driving
Speaker 1: and she thought she could change lanes and be a
Speaker 1: giant like garbage truck, and she didn't realize there was
Speaker 1: a car in the parked in the lane, and she
Speaker 1: you know, decided to go for it and gunned it,
Speaker 1: and I felt my body like lift out of my
Speaker 1: body and then like like almost prepping for death. And
Speaker 1: then she like narrowly missed the garbage truck and we
Speaker 1: made it. I came back like I had like a
Speaker 1: whoopee Goldberg like ghost.
Speaker 3: Moment, warpy gold barge so crazy.
Speaker 4: We were driving down Pico one time. It was one
Speaker 4: of the first times my sister visited me in Los Angeles,
Speaker 4: and this car basically it was almost like a similar situation,
Speaker 4: except for we were the garbage truck. So a guy
Speaker 4: tried to go around us, and then he swerved in
Speaker 4: because you know, he couldn't go and so basically, just
Speaker 4: because my sister watched what he was doing and saw,
Speaker 4: like saw the whole situation, she started slowing down. So
Speaker 4: then he just there. He just kind of came across
Speaker 4: and they barely like our cars were so close to
Speaker 4: each other, and then he like got but then we
Speaker 4: basically had to come to a stoplight and we were
Speaker 4: then in the separate lanes again. And we came to
Speaker 4: the stop light. My sister rolls down the window and
Speaker 4: just kind of the turns of a sudden goes you
Speaker 4: could have killed us, the guy because I was like,
Speaker 4: what are you doing rolling down the window? We're in
Speaker 4: Los Angeles, like whatever. She just like like like the
Speaker 4: third grade teacher that she is.
Speaker 1: She just goda killed us.
Speaker 2: You could have killed us.
Speaker 1: I want you to think about what you did.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's no other way to react to that though,
Speaker 3: other than you're a kid in trouble in school. If
Speaker 3: someone is able to nail that delivery, even like a
Speaker 3: hardened gang member would be like, I'm sorry, man, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: Am I Yes, that's literally what the guy did, because
Speaker 4: it was like, yeah, if you don't yell, because if
Speaker 4: you yell, I'll just yell back. Yeah, it'll just get
Speaker 4: mad at you. It's like, you could have killed us.
Speaker 4: She's yeah, very upsetting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, never yell. Always be quiet and disappointed.
Speaker 4: I yell so much when I'm driving. It's good that
Speaker 4: we're getting back to the theme of the show that
Speaker 4: we don't do anymore and kind of have forgotten about entirely.
Speaker 1: But so many car stories.
Speaker 2: Finally we got into the area Fortune.
Speaker 3: Wants to talk. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I realized lately, and it might be also
Speaker 4: just being kind of like pent up and not being
Speaker 4: around human beings, that I'm becoming a lunatic. But like
Speaker 4: what I drove the other day, like when I was
Speaker 4: trying to merge onto Stadium Way or whatever, I was
Speaker 4: yelling at almost every car around me.
Speaker 2: It was like, no one, no one kind of knows
Speaker 2: how to drive anymore.
Speaker 4: Yeah, people get real sloppy, and it's and I'm livid
Speaker 4: the entire time. There's like a lot of yelling inside
Speaker 4: the car with windows rolled up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, people are bad now. It's not like getting back
Speaker 3: on a bicycle. People do not know how to but
Speaker 3: they're also doing risky, aggressive things like oh, I'm going
Speaker 3: to turn left in front of this oncoming lane. It's
Speaker 3: like you would not have done that eight months ago, sir,
Speaker 3: I know you.
Speaker 2: So Yeah, everyone's like out of practice or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like yeah, and they're angry. They had to spend
Speaker 1: several months wiping down groceries ya, taking it out, taking
Speaker 1: it out on us.
Speaker 4: The beginning of this quarantine, when I was wiping I
Speaker 4: was first of all going to the grocery store.
Speaker 2: I then we've talked about this a little bit.
Speaker 4: The first time I had to wear a mask in
Speaker 4: a grocery store, I had a full panic attack.
Speaker 2: I was just like, I can't breathe in this man
Speaker 2: like and then I was.
Speaker 4: I went there to get specific things I'd forgotten what
Speaker 4: I needed. I was just grabbing stuff and running. It
Speaker 4: was so crazy. And then yeah, that that whole thing
Speaker 4: of I knew people that were wiping stuff down outside
Speaker 4: of the house.
Speaker 2: Bringing it in Jack's was really oh yeah, because she's
Speaker 2: leave it.
Speaker 1: There for thirty minutes and then she would get it
Speaker 1: like surgical masks and gloves and get it and just
Speaker 1: like take it to the back porch and wipe it
Speaker 1: all down.
Speaker 3: This is gonna sound like a joke, but I bought
Speaker 3: a head of lettuce and I swear I wiped it
Speaker 3: down with hand sanitizer and didn't rinse it off enough.
Speaker 3: And after that, salad, I think I was kind of drunk.
Speaker 1: You probably you probably created a vaccine for yourself.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, bleach salad, come and get it.
Speaker 2: I have a theory though. Do you think Jack's with
Speaker 2: the germophobia? Does she have parents any parents that are
Speaker 2: doctors or nurses?
Speaker 1: Oh no, but her mom's a big germophobe too, so yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean they're they're the kind that would like take
Speaker 1: Q tips and clean corners of things. Oh shit, Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not no like me really, yeah, I'm very pristine
Speaker 1: over here. But no, yeah, it's not a for Yeah,
Speaker 1: somehow it's just like a it's not a medical thing,
Speaker 1: but it's that cleanliness and germ.
Speaker 2: Combo which I get, which comes.
Speaker 1: In handy in a pandemic, but in I mean normal life,
Speaker 1: you're like, I gotta do that. Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: wash my hands again.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, where are you subsessively taking a shower every day?
Speaker 2: It's crazy.
Speaker 1: And she's a kindergarten teacher, so it was like I
Speaker 1: was her kindergarten student that wouldn't wash her hands enough.
Speaker 4: Well, and also teachers, I mean, my sister would get
Speaker 4: sick constantly, like she knew the cycle of like the
Speaker 4: school year starts six weeks in show get a cold, right,
Speaker 4: they'll all have colds like it's yeah, that's the that's
Speaker 4: the jerneyest colds and lice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and children are disgusting so much snot.
Speaker 1: The sun is very much coming in my room right,
Speaker 1: like angelic.
Speaker 4: It's like almost like the best ring light. You look
Speaker 4: like you're about to do a makeup tutorial.
Speaker 3: Fortune. Do not walk into that light. No, it's God.
Speaker 3: Do not look at God.
Speaker 2: You died.
Speaker 1: You died.
Speaker 2: That garbage truck hit you.
Speaker 1: I died, and I'm doing podcasts.
Speaker 2: After Yeah, that's that would make sense.
Speaker 4: Purgatory is just guesting on podcast podcasts.
Speaker 1: You got to promote myself.
Speaker 3: Welcome back to Pearly Gates.
Speaker 4: Now. Speaking of promotion, George and I were just talking
Speaker 4: about this because we saw the promotional video that was
Speaker 4: made for the movie Girl Fight that came out.
Speaker 2: Do you want to talk about that? Oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: Chick FIGHTE listen either words the girl Chick. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: a fun it's a fun, silly movie. It's like one
Speaker 2: of those e popcorn and watch movies. You know.
Speaker 1: People are critics are trying to like break down the
Speaker 1: feminism of it. I'm like, no, no, it's it's not
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, it's called Chick Fight. Malin Ackerman stars
Speaker 1: in it and Alec bald One and it's a group
Speaker 1: of women who uh start a fight club because it's
Speaker 1: their therapist. Their therapists recommended it. So it's not based
Speaker 1: on the the iconic fight club movie. But it's just
Speaker 1: a movie with a fight club and it's all women.
Speaker 1: Uh so I'm the referee and they they have it.
Speaker 1: I mean, the fights are pretty cool. They had like
Speaker 1: these amazing stunt women doing I mean, you were talking
Speaker 1: about like world champion taekwond athletes and like Olympians and
Speaker 1: stunt like these. They blew my mind they were doing
Speaker 1: all these moves and then it's like a movie that's
Speaker 1: like fights and comedy combined. So I was there to be,
Speaker 1: you know, a ridiculous person while they're just like flipping
Speaker 1: around punching each other. So, yeah, it's on digital and
Speaker 1: demand right now. If people, Yeah, it's on right now.
Speaker 1: If you want to like have an escape for an
Speaker 1: hour and a half, Yeah, it's the I do movie
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 3: I'll watch it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too.
Speaker 4: But it's a hilarious premise. I think it's a great premise.
Speaker 4: Your therapist tells you.
Speaker 1: To and so I mean, you know, you don't want
Speaker 1: to dig too deep into like why they're doing this,
Speaker 1: because like just just accept that they're in a fight club.
Speaker 2: Just except that someone had a great pitch meeting and.
Speaker 4: It all went great, and Alan Ackerman was like, I
Speaker 4: love it sounds great exactly.
Speaker 1: We shot it in Puerto Rico in January. Wow, and
Speaker 1: it was like they shot him so machine days, which
Speaker 1: is insane. That's crazy because we were like shooting like
Speaker 1: seventeen hours a day in like an asbestos building that
Speaker 1: was missing half the roof, and we wore we had
Speaker 1: to wear a mask every day because pre COVID everyone
Speaker 1: was getting sick from all the asbestos center and the
Speaker 1: fog machine was going all day. Machine.
Speaker 3: Oh so that was where they wanted the meeting place
Speaker 3: to be some out underground fight. Yeah, like a pretty
Speaker 3: like yeah, I thought that's just where the production was
Speaker 3: being held. That's all we could find. There's a hole
Speaker 3: in the.
Speaker 1: Roof were we need a tax cut? So yeah, so
Speaker 1: it was pretty It is a pretty crazy shoot. I
Speaker 1: remember being like, oh, it sucks wearing mask all day.
Speaker 1: Who knew that? A month later? What was coming?
Speaker 3: Did you train? Did you have to learn to fight?
Speaker 3: Are you fighting in it?
Speaker 1: I do one fight where I literally like kind of
Speaker 1: fake hit somebody. I basically the director asked me in December,
Speaker 1: He's like, can you send a video of like what
Speaker 1: you know naturally about fighting? Like can you show me
Speaker 1: you fighting? And it's a Jack's moment and I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, punching like this and I'm trying to I'm
Speaker 1: trying to kick and she's laughing and I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: this is this is not supposed to be funny. This
Speaker 1: is supposed to be hardcore. So I think that I
Speaker 1: probably got fights taken away from my character after I
Speaker 1: sent that video.
Speaker 4: In Everything Is, It's like, no, you're not trying to
Speaker 4: give someone a fist bump, you're fighting.
Speaker 1: I have dainty fist, So yeah, so the other people
Speaker 1: fought more than me.
Speaker 2: Have you been in a fist fight in real life?
Speaker 1: Just with my brothers who would beat the crap out
Speaker 1: of me when I was growing up. They didn't care
Speaker 1: that I was a girl. They were just like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna punch you in the stomach as far as I can.
Speaker 1: And my grandmother, my grandmother would be like, you don't
Speaker 1: punch girls in the stomach. And I'd be like, it's
Speaker 1: too late. I can't breathe.
Speaker 2: What else is going on? Fortune? Are you working on
Speaker 2: something you want to plug right now?
Speaker 1: I started this new show for Netflix. It's called The
Speaker 1: Netflix After Party. Yeah, it's I'm co hosting with David Spade.
Speaker 1: Fun yeah, funny comic named London Hughes. She's a British comedian.
Speaker 2: Named London London.
Speaker 1: So we're we're basically it's kind of like a panel
Speaker 1: show for all of Netflix's shows, like every episode will
Speaker 1: like kind of interview like cast of one of the
Speaker 1: Netflix series or something like that, and then do a
Speaker 1: panel with comedians and stuff. So it starts, uh, I
Speaker 1: think in late December, early January you'll start airing.
Speaker 3: I will watch that, mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it should be fun. We started shooting sketches
Speaker 1: today for it, like so it'll be like some comedy silliness,
Speaker 1: but it always kind of has a Netflix tint to
Speaker 1: it where it's involves some reference to their shows.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well that's kind of smart though, you know, because it's
Speaker 4: like you if, they probably can't go into full production
Speaker 4: on some things the way things are right now, so
Speaker 4: it's kind of like, yeah, do recap shows and kinds.
Speaker 1: Well, it's kind of like how like eight, Like Jimmy
Speaker 1: Kimmel's on ABC and he always does like the Bachelor stuff,
Speaker 1: and they it's like their first in house sort of thing.
Speaker 1: So we'll see it got picked up for first season
Speaker 1: and and yeah, I'm excited. So I'm doing that. And
Speaker 1: then I also do a radio show for Netflix on
Speaker 1: Serious six.
Speaker 3: It's a joke. I was going to beat you to.
Speaker 1: You both have been on there. Yeah, and so we've
Speaker 1: been doing that every day from home. So I've been
Speaker 1: just really grateful to have a job. Yes, right, yeah, so.
Speaker 3: A job working with some of my favorite comedians. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: do radio, and now my thank God for Yeah, it's great,
Speaker 1: that's very cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So just been doing that and then trying to. I
Speaker 1: haven't really written any stand up. I just haven't felt,
Speaker 1: you know, in the place for it.
Speaker 3: I don't know what I should what is happening in
Speaker 3: my apartment that I'm gonna write about it. You have
Speaker 3: to have human experience, and this is the most inhuman
Speaker 3: experience I've ever had. Yeah, just me with plants. Oh,
Speaker 3: there's another good joke about plants.
Speaker 1: Well for me, I feel like, I think because my
Speaker 1: comedy comes from like a happier, positive place, like my
Speaker 1: soul needs to feel that. Yeah, not that I'm unhappy,
Speaker 1: but I'm not feeling that free. I don't feel free
Speaker 1: in that regard. Yeah, so the jokes are not flowing shockingly.
Speaker 6: But you did just have a special come out relatively recently.
Speaker 1: Sorry, it's called Sweet and Salty. It's on It's on Netflix,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I was really lucky it came out right
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the year, and so people have
Speaker 1: been able to watch that online and it's kind of
Speaker 1: a it's like my life's journey of figuring out who
Speaker 1: I am, and it's silly and fun. I tell a
Speaker 1: lot of jokes. I do give Chilis a shout out
Speaker 1: because for my contract simply, but I was really proud
Speaker 1: of it. Our friend Paige Hewit's produced it, and it
Speaker 1: was just cool to get to work on something with
Speaker 1: my friend. And yeah, tell these jokes I've been working
Speaker 1: on and.
Speaker 6: You can trust her, like you know, her producing it
Speaker 6: and helping you like put it together. You can trust her.
Speaker 6: If you ever watched Last Comic Standing, page was the
Speaker 6: EP of that for a long time. She has also
Speaker 6: stand up herself. So she's one of those very rare
Speaker 6: producers that actually knows what she's talking about.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I didn't even weigh in on what the
Speaker 1: stage would look like. She's just like I desired to. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why I agreed to do the more recent
Speaker 3: Last Comic Standing is because well, she's going to be
Speaker 3: there and I trust her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it makes a difference.
Speaker 3: But I still ate it. She didn't have control over that.
Speaker 1: Well, those last comics are hard. That's a hard me,
Speaker 1: you know, get up there for like two minutes or something.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: God, when I did it, I kept texting Karen to
Speaker 1: help me.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: I was like, Karen, I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 2: I was like, yes, you knew.
Speaker 3: That's when I first met you at the improv in
Speaker 3: the lab that was like our holding area.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And we did testimonials in a phone booth or something,
Speaker 3: and I was like, I like her, she's funny. I
Speaker 3: uh fortune. I went to Karen's to drop off a
Speaker 3: painting and we hung out in her backyard.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
Speaker 3: She was saying that there was mosquitos everywhere, and as
Speaker 3: they were flying around, I was like, I feel like
Speaker 3: Karen doesn't know the difference between mosquitos and fruit flies
Speaker 3: because they were tiny. They were hovering above her head.
Speaker 3: I'm like, these are just flies. Because I didn't want
Speaker 3: to blame because I wasn't getting bid at all. The
Speaker 3: next I was riddled in the itchiest those tiny mosquitoes.
Speaker 3: I wasn't feeling it. They got me everywhere up my
Speaker 3: life ankles somehow, in my shoes. Yeah, these evil little mosquitoes.
Speaker 3: It was absolutely, I just stopped being itchy.
Speaker 1: It was like I invested with them in the last
Speaker 1: like two years. Yes, we never had them before.
Speaker 6: I've seen people on Twitter complaining about little mosquitos in
Speaker 6: their house recently, where I'm like, Oh, is this some
Speaker 6: creepy thing that's happening in LA that we don't realize
Speaker 6: is like happening to everybody at once.
Speaker 2: That'd be so creepy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it scares me. Mosquitoes make me nervous. They
Speaker 3: cause and spread disease. It's like, yeah, I don't want that, hilaria.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean because the beauty of LA is like you
Speaker 1: get stuck in traffic, but you didn't have mosquitoes. That
Speaker 1: was like the bonus to living here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the payoff.
Speaker 1: And then I think that I think there was an
Speaker 1: article that said they came on a shipping container. Oh no, no,
Speaker 1: from Asia. I again, I don't know if that's fake news.
Speaker 1: I read an article. I'm not, so don't quote me.
Speaker 1: I believe that they came in and now they've just
Speaker 1: like they're everywhere that they are.
Speaker 3: That is insane. It's crazy that you can just bring
Speaker 3: a shipping container of mosquitoes.
Speaker 2: And an that shouldn't be allowed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, when they when you go, I should put their
Speaker 3: foot down. When I was in Hawaii, swimming in rivers
Speaker 3: and climbing up waterfalls, it was amazing, but I was
Speaker 3: scared of snakes the whole time, and everyone was like,
Speaker 3: there are no snakes in all of Hawaii. They monitored
Speaker 3: this the snake intake to where there's never been a
Speaker 3: snake here, and I don't believe it. I didn't. I'm like,
Speaker 3: there's got to be a garter snake.
Speaker 1: Really there. I never heard that.
Speaker 3: I've heard that there is not a single snake in
Speaker 3: all of Hawaii, and I don't think it's an exaggeration.
Speaker 3: Have you heard that? Karen?
Speaker 2: Are you thinking of Ireland?
Speaker 3: I am thinking is Okay? Is Ireland? Do they have
Speaker 3: Ireland house? Just surfing? Right? Yeah? I thinking of Hawaii.
Speaker 3: Correct me if I'm wrong, Internet, But I've heard there's
Speaker 3: no snakes in Hawaii. Wow, yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2: It would be very calming. I love the idea.
Speaker 1: Google.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's Ireland. Why it's Ireland and yet Hawaii, Iceland,
Speaker 3: New Zealand, Greenland or in Artica. I will live any
Speaker 3: of those places. Yeah, we're all doing an Indiana Jones
Speaker 3: impression snakes.
Speaker 1: I went home. I went home to North Carolina in
Speaker 1: October and uh that that we have a house by
Speaker 1: the lake, and uh. I was walking by a bush
Speaker 1: to go check the dock and I saw this like
Speaker 1: scaly thing in the bush and I ran like a
Speaker 1: like a crazy person. I didn't I didn't know that
Speaker 1: snakes climbed in bushes and just laid in bushes. Snake
Speaker 1: was just in the bush, laying like a hammock.
Speaker 3: Oh god, I can't. When I was in Wilmington, I
Speaker 3: saw I think it was a wolf spider, just a spider,
Speaker 3: the biggest spider ever, just hanging out on a window sill.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I can't be here anymore. No, have
Speaker 3: you seen them North Carolina spiders.
Speaker 1: Uh it's been a minute. Yeah, there's I don't know
Speaker 1: how I've seen a wolf spider.
Speaker 3: I think it was a wolf spider. I don't know.
Speaker 3: It didn't look like a wolf. It was just big
Speaker 3: and brown and made me leave town. No thank you,
Speaker 3: no thank you, No thank bush snakes. No more bush snakes.
Speaker 6: I like the idea though, of like hedge snake, where
Speaker 6: you're just like I'm just trying to get the mail,
Speaker 6: and then inside.
Speaker 2: A bush is a snake's horrible?
Speaker 1: I now can't walk by bushes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like the idea of a snake that I
Speaker 3: love bush. I hear that, Oh.
Speaker 2: Hi, Sweet and Salty on Netflix.
Speaker 1: If you like.
Speaker 2: But I know you knew.
Speaker 3: I just think it's such a fancy thing for a
Speaker 3: snake to be discerning about where it hangs out, and
Speaker 3: it prefers the bush. I love a bush snake. He
Speaker 3: has a bow tie. He has a bow tie and
Speaker 3: a briefcase, and he's going to work.
Speaker 6: That's right, that that bush snake actually is a very
Speaker 6: He has a lot of stress in his life. He's
Speaker 6: at a high level accountant and that's that. That's his weekend
Speaker 6: bush where it just goes.
Speaker 1: He stayed in there for two days and I would
Speaker 1: stare at him. I went up on the porch and
Speaker 1: stared at him. And then after two days he finally
Speaker 1: came down and I watched him slither down on a.
Speaker 6: Little hat because it was.
Speaker 3: Back to work. And you know what that is when
Speaker 3: they do that for the weekend, it's a snakeation. Listen, No,
Speaker 3: that's just an advertisement for Fortune's Comedy Specialized. Leave me.
Speaker 1: Anymore?
Speaker 3: Now it's still there.
Speaker 1: It's still there, accounting.
Speaker 3: Come on you guys, guys.
Speaker 6: I think Fortune, you've done us such a favor being
Speaker 6: on the show today.
Speaker 2: We appreciate it so much.
Speaker 1: I mean, the pleasure has been all mine. I mean,
Speaker 1: what a treat it was. What a treat to connect
Speaker 1: right with my friends and I get to meet Stephen
Speaker 1: for the first time.
Speaker 3: There, look at him looking at the sign of your hair, Stephen,
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 1: Wait, did you shave the side and I didn't know
Speaker 1: what it looked like before? Yeah? I did it myself.
Speaker 3: It was just like that without the shaved part. Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: thank you very much, Fortune for being your romantic marriage stories.
Speaker 6: I know.
Speaker 2: Good.
Speaker 1: Uh what a time for love.
Speaker 3: It is in the air.
Speaker 1: It is theftunate when no one wants to touch anyone. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and we aren't supposed to breathe sat air, but
Speaker 3: love is in it. If you were able to.
Speaker 6: Tell us again your give us your plugs where people
Speaker 6: can find you, where they can find you talking about
Speaker 6: Tim Tim all your things say it.
Speaker 1: I swear to God. M on Instagram on Matt Fortune Fimesir.
Speaker 1: I do silly videos and characters because why not. I
Speaker 1: got the movie chick fight out on digital demand. You
Speaker 1: know you can like rent on iTunes or wherever you
Speaker 1: find those things. Sweet and Salty on Netflix, Netflix, and
Speaker 1: what a joke on Serius XM channel ninety three.
Speaker 2: You're doing it all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, your party on Netflix coming in January.
Speaker 3: Man and Frank approves you are. You're busy and we
Speaker 3: are proud of you.
Speaker 1: And I'm modeling in j. C. Penny catalogs coming soon.
Speaker 4: Nice, just a series of robes, that's right, and the
Speaker 4: fancyst of flannels, luxury flannels, luxury flannels.
Speaker 1: Awesome, you the best. Thank you talking to you.
Speaker 3: Thank you. I love talking to you.
Speaker 1: It was awesome.
Speaker 3: You've been no no, I always I gotta not nail it.
Speaker 3: You've been listening. Do you need a ride?
Speaker 1: Do you y in here? Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: You wanna way back? Either way?
Speaker 3: We want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage
Speaker 3: you claim.
Speaker 2: Give us time and a terminol and gay. We want
Speaker 2: to send you.
Speaker 1: Off in style. Do you want to welcome you back home?
Speaker 4: Tell us all about every scared her?
Speaker 2: Was it fine?
Speaker 4: Melcoorn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride
Speaker 2: to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need with Karen and Kress m mmmm