WEBVTT - Your Life Matters 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:04.360 Welcome to Reasonably Shady, a production of the Black Effect 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:21.680 Podcast Network and I Heart Radio. Welcome to Reasonably Shady. 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:24.439 I am Gazelle Bryant. What's up? What's up everyone? This 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:28.640 is Robin Dixon. Thank you once again for being here. Yes, 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:31.960 we are still rocking and rolling. I know, I know. 0:00:32.080 --> 0:00:33.919 And I just told Robin I would never get sick 0:00:33.920 --> 0:00:37.720 of her, and she just informed me she can't say 0:00:37.760 --> 0:00:41.479 the same. I just saidn't mind, just have to put 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:45.560 her like on mute or pause. I mean, how rude 0:00:45.640 --> 0:00:49.519 is that? I know? I mean, because she's just sometimes 0:00:48.960 --> 0:00:53.120 it's a lot. I can't. I can't be a lot sometimes. 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:56.840 I understand that. And Robin gets a lot of me. Okay, 0:00:57.160 --> 0:00:59.440 she really really does. Even my kids be like my 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:03.000 team too much from you anyway, moving on, UM, we 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:05.920 would like to talk about our reasonably Shady moment of 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:14.319 the week. Do you have one? Yeah? Okay, okay, you 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:17.720 go for um okay, So this is gonna be a 0:01:17.720 --> 0:01:21.120 little tam I for the squeamish guys out here. You 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:24.319 know where this is going. You know, my little friend, 0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:29.319 my period came and um, my shady moment goes to 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:36.759 the tampon shortage that's going on in in this world? Like 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:40.320 when you started, I did not know you were going there. 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:43.959 There is a tampon shortage, is there really? Literally? Yes? 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:46.080 Like okay, you can go in and get like the 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:48.920 light and the regular, No, bitch, I need the ultras 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:52.200 like I need like heavy duty. Yes, I need super 0:01:52.240 --> 0:01:56.880 Plus and Ultra and you cannot find them anywhere. Like 0:01:57.120 --> 0:01:59.240 next next time you go on the store, look at 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:02.760 the shelves. They're bare, like the tampon Maxi pat shouts, 0:02:03.040 --> 0:02:06.080 they are so bare. There in my gym. There's plethora 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:07.760 in my gym, but I don't want those. Those are 0:02:07.800 --> 0:02:11.399 probably like regularly and they don't help me. Yes, So 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:13.760 so yeah, I'm over here like hoping that I'm not 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:17.679 walking around with some um with a leakage. Yeah. I 0:02:17.680 --> 0:02:20.600 don't want to see any leakage either. So you need 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:24.000 you need an Ultra? What do we have now regular? 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:26.800 Right now? I was. I was able to, you know, 0:02:26.840 --> 0:02:30.120 scrounge up some superpluses, but I had to double it 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:32.399 up with a Maxi pad just to like I never 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:33.760 have to wear pads, but like I had to like 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:37.200 put a pad on it. Okay, sorry guys, seeing too 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:40.160 much for the guys. But yeah, but um, but seriously, 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:43.520 they'n I go on Amazon to buy my ultra tampons. Nope? 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:48.880 Really nope. Wow, yeah, there's a tampon shortage. There's a 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:50.400 there's a and I heard that there was like a 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:53.839 peanut butter shortage. Is that true? Really? Maybe I made 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:56.120 that up? I made that up. Okay, there was a 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:59.080 shortage of something that I needed and I can't remember 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:00.720 what it was. I'm gonna remember in like twenty minutes. 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:02.520 But anyway, let me give you my reasonably shady moment 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:06.079 other week. So one is tampons, the other is we're 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:09.120 back to talking about my trainer. Okay, his name is Tyrone. 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:14.760 So Tyrone has informed me that, you know, my moments 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:17.240 with him in the gym are just moments. But what 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:20.480 he really wants me to do is adopt a lifestyle. 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:23.720 Oh yes, of course, otherwise you're wasting your time, right, 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:28.880 And so he has gotten me to eat salads, that's 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:30.400 his what he wants me to do, like eat a 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:34.880 salad every goddamn day with protein in it. Not necessarily 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:38.800 he wants he's looking more for vegetables to be in 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:42.160 my system. Okay, so you know, if you start eating 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:44.800 salads all the time, you just want something else to eat? 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:49.520 Is it's s boring? Yes, So I have decided, and 0:03:49.560 --> 0:03:51.520 I'm not going to tell Tyrone. So y'all don't tell 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:54.120 him either. By the way, Tyrone is the shady moment. 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:57.240 Tyrone is probably listening to Tyrone better not be listening 0:03:57.280 --> 0:03:59.920 to this part, because what I have to say is fine, 0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:07.680 I'm gonna eat my damn salads and cookies, and I 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:12.200 have decided my new drink is nineteen forty two. So 0:04:12.240 --> 0:04:15.560 that is my diet salads, cookies, and nineteen forty two. 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:17.440 So you know at this point, you're just wasting your 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:22.880 money with Tyrone, right right? You know Tyrone is good 0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:26.400 for me, Yeah, but if you're going to eat cookies 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:30.200 and drink, yeah, you're wasting your time. So from what 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:33.400 I understand. From what I understand, nineteen forty two isn't 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:36.080 a cove. I've done my research or basically somebody told 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:39.960 me this, and it metabolizes in your system very differently 0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:44.240 than like a vodka or a wine or a gin. Okay, 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:46.680 so it's it's basically no sugar in your body. That's 0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:48.760 how I metabolizes. Are you sure about that. No, it 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:51.440 just makes you drunk, that's all. And you know sometimes 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:53.280 you like to be drawn a little drunk, and drunk 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:57.560 is good. Yes, So that's where I am. Tyrone, suck it, Okay, 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:01.839 get over it the end. Luck with that special diet. 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:05.400 Oh my gosh. Okay, So we have we have some 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:08.360 things to go over. Okay, first and foremost, they are 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:11.400 canceling all of our black shows out here in the streets. 0:05:11.480 --> 0:05:14.400 I know, and I don't think I like it. Yes, 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:19.200 I was actually quite so. Okay, there was there's a rumor, 0:05:19.400 --> 0:05:21.559 I don't know if it's confirmed or not at this time, 0:05:22.120 --> 0:05:24.479 um that The Real has been canceled or it's not 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:28.159 being renewed, which really really that that kind of like 0:05:28.240 --> 0:05:30.520 bothered me and hurt me because I actually enjoy watching 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:34.160 The Real. Absolutely. Those girls are fire and they're all 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:37.200 very opinionated, and they're smart, and I just you know, 0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:39.960 you like to watch something and you feel like you 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:41.479 could be sitting in a room with them and have 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:44.520 fun with them exactly, and and they have a great dynamic. 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:47.760 And so when there was a report that they were canceled, 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:50.840 and then Lonnie Love said something where you know, hold 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:53.680 hold your horses, not so fast, you know. There. They 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:56.440 haven't anything yet, so I'm not quite sure where they 0:05:56.480 --> 0:05:58.599 are with it, but I'm hoping that they're not canceled 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:00.880 because I think they are a great show. Um, and 0:06:00.880 --> 0:06:03.480 I'm hoping they figure out how to make it work. Yeah, 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:05.920 and we we were on there, yes, and I and 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:07.400 and I'm not even saying it's just because we were 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:10.160 on there. Like I've I watched The Real, you know, religiously. 0:06:10.200 --> 0:06:13.040 If I'm at home and it's twelve o'clock, the Real 0:06:13.160 --> 0:06:15.640 is on my TV. So I'm hoping that they can 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:18.520 find and make it work and keep the ladies on 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:22.120 on because I don't know, I mean, I just when 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:24.520 I think about daytime or you know, the TV in 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:28.000 the morning, morning TV, daytime TV. Um, I feel like 0:06:28.040 --> 0:06:33.760 they represent us the most for sure. I love you know, 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:37.800 people had commentary about Garcel being added to the group, 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:40.599 but I thought she has brought like a great mixed 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:45.039 to them. Um. I love some Adrian Bellion. Is that 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:48.919 how you say her last name? By Alon? Bylon Bellion? Okay, 0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:52.680 I love Adrian and Jennie. You know, we've seen Jennie 0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:56.040 say she'd never get married again. To get married, I 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:58.360 don't want any kids. So now she has a child, 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:02.000 like we've seen the growth of Jane. Yeah, absolutely, yes, absolutely, 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:05.120 so you know, so we we are asking the reel 0:07:05.200 --> 0:07:08.360 to remain on. I don't know if that's going to help. 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:11.600 But also Nick Cannon, sir, he didn't last long out 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:13.600 here in the streets. He did it, and I thought 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:15.480 he was gonna I really thought that he was at 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:17.280 least going to make it past one season because I 0:07:17.320 --> 0:07:19.440 actually I don't watch his show all the time, but 0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:22.640 I find it to be lighthearted. Yes, and you know 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:24.640 when I do watch it, I enjoy it. But you know, 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:26.440 I think it's just rough out of here to make 0:07:26.480 --> 0:07:30.400 these daytime talk shows. Yes, I think it. You know, 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:32.800 they're looking for a certain number as it relates to ratings. 0:07:32.840 --> 0:07:36.560 It's all ratings driven. Um. I do think Nick's pants 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:38.040 might have been a little too tight. He just was 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:40.080 you know, when he was sitting down, he was always 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:45.000 standing up. Then he was sitting down standing. No his fans. Now, 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:47.200 I like Nick, and to be honest with you, I 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:51.520 was feeling like, you know, his hope. Remember he had 0:07:51.560 --> 0:07:54.360 like a panel of men. That's something that we don't 0:07:54.360 --> 0:07:58.960 see on television, especially like daytime television men, a bunch 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:01.720 of men giving their opinion on things. I enjoyed that. 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:05.640 So I wonder if the men aren't really driving things, 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:08.200 you know what I mean, because if you think about it, 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:10.960 there really aren't what other male talk shows are there 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:14.640 out there right now, like none, none really, So it's 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:17.880 like maybe the men just don't drive the day time 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:21.240 TV stuff. And so maybe they thought Nick was going 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:23.840 to bring enough of like the female audience, um, which 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:26.600 I think he does, but um, I was, you know, 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:28.880 disappointed to hear that for him. But you know, he's 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:31.080 going to be okay because we know that he has 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.640 so many different you know, businesses and things that he 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:36.319 has going on and jobs, and so he's fine. We're 0:08:36.360 --> 0:08:38.480 gonna tell you to see him on our TV. Nick's 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:44.640 show was his side hustle. Right, He's probably relieved, you 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:46.520 know what. They might have canceled it because he was 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:48.960 probably like, I'm bad it is. Let me let me 0:08:48.960 --> 0:08:51.000 do something else. Let me let's not feel sorry for 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:54.400 Nick Cannon because he no, no, we're not feeling, not 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:57.800 feeling wants a better thing. Okay. So, Robin, I think 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:00.920 Apple or somebody just dropped Apple just dropped a bunch 0:09:00.920 --> 0:09:04.320 of new emojis. Oh, I know, have you seen them? 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:07.360 So I have. I haven't seen all of them, but 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:09.960 I'm I'm enjoying the ones that I've seen. Okay, first 0:09:09.960 --> 0:09:12.440 and foremost, do you like emojis? Because emojis have been 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:15.320 around forever and people some people use them all the time, 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:17.760 so people don't use them right, So I remember when 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:20.160 they kind of like first came out, I was like, 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:22.280 what the hell is it? Like I was confused, like 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:24.600 what is this? And why? You know, it's just like 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:27.640 why do we need this? But now it's like, yes, 0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:31.440 I definitely text with emojis. Um, you know, I'm not. 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:34.160 I don't like overdo it, but you know, and then 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:37.640 of course you have like your your go to one. Yes, Um, 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:40.199 I like the ones holding you're looking at something. Yeah, 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:42.360 I'm like that, I pulled it up but y'all can't 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:43.920 see it. But but we will describe to you the 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:45.880 emojis that we like kind of love. I like the 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:48.720 ones with the finger pointing at you, Like, I think 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:51.200 that's kind of like a three When when would you 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:55.079 use that? Like what what would be? What would you 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:57.800 be saying? Like not it? Like you know what I'm 0:09:57.800 --> 0:10:00.800 saying like you're it. Yeah, okay, I like that, Like 0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:05.920 who's who's going to go to the grocery store? You okay, 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:08.200 I'm feeling that. By the way, you know, we we 0:10:08.280 --> 0:10:12.160 are Potoma Girls and our emoji is the it's like 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:15.520 a pink it looks like a cherry blossom flower. So 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:18.960 that's like quintessential to the Real Housewives of Tone. Yeah, 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:22.079 definitely use that, so we use that. I like the one, Um, 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:26.120 it's like the face. It's a face, he's covering the face, 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:29.480 but like what look peeking through with the you know, 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:31.599 peeking through like a peek a boo eye, like a 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:33.600 pickle boo eye. Yeah. I like that, And that's kind 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:36.800 of like, you know, like watching a train wreck type thing. 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:39.000 Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, you're watching the train Wreck. 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:41.920 I like, Um, okay, there's some that's like a white 0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:45.160 hand and a black hand and they're shaking hands. I 0:10:45.160 --> 0:10:46.760 don't know when I would use that. I mean, I 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:48.800 feel like that requires too much thought, Like you know 0:10:48.800 --> 0:10:51.280 what I'm saying, Like, so you would use that when 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:53.160 you're talking to a white person and you're happy about 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:56.560 what they said, and you would then I guess I'm 0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:59.160 coming I guess it's okay, Like if you're like, all right, 0:10:59.200 --> 0:11:01.440 so if you had a friend, and if you had 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:03.920 a white friend, and y'all were making plans on where 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:06.880 to eat for dinner, and then y'all y'all come to 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:09.600 your yes deal, right, so you're like, all right, deal. 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:12.120 So then you got your shaking hands with your light 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:16.160 skin hands and her and her white hand. Do they 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:18.720 have a light skin hand in the white hand? Yeah? 0:11:18.760 --> 0:11:21.320 They do. There you go like this one, this would 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:24.079 be good, okay. And then there's a bunch of it's 0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:26.800 like so many, so many, And then there's I guess 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:31.360 because of little nas X, there's a bunch of men 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:35.320 that are pregnant, pregnant man, pregnant man. Very interesting. Um, 0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:36.960 and I'm trying to figure out when when would you 0:11:36.960 --> 0:11:40.760 send that one? I don't, I don't know, okay, alright, 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:44.720 moving on, I do like, okay, so there's there's three 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:48.400 kidney beans. What is that for? That are together? Can 0:11:48.440 --> 0:11:50.679 be used for several different things, really, like you can 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:53.079 send it to a guy and be like, so does 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.240 this look familiar? Like if you haven't had sex with 0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:57.760 him and you want to know if his stuff is 0:11:58.080 --> 0:12:00.480 the size of a kidney beans, so would send it 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:03.199 to him and you would know an advance. Really he's 0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:06.480 gonna be like, yes, that would just like me. No, 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.560 he should send you back an eggplan and that would 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:11.840 be like, Okay, this is gonna be it's gonna be good. 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:14.840 But if he's like, yeah, I like kidney beans, you 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:18.240 know it's gonna be. There any other reason we need 0:12:18.280 --> 0:12:21.559 the kidney beans. No, there's no other reason. Um, there's 0:12:21.640 --> 0:12:25.360 there's someone were so random, like the slide like this, 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:28.040 like the ladder with the like a sliding board going 0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:31.000 into the pool or even just a playground like makes 0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:34.400 no sense to me. Um, the biting lip that's sexy? 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:37.160 Which one is? Oh this one? Yeah? Oh yeah, I 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:39.720 gotta send that one out. Okay, I do like because 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:43.560 me and so for just f y mean Grace. Like 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:46.760 if I see if we're at church, mean Grace and 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:49.000 she's like not sitting near me and I look at her, 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:51.720 She'll give me like half of a heart and then 0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:53.840 I'll give her the other half. Very cute, I know. 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:57.640 So I like the hands, the hands that form a heart. Yes, 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.840 very cute. I'm gonna be sitting those out. Okay, So 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:04.280 so apple te gud so I I wish. Okay, so 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:07.720 for me, um, you know, I'm in a sorority. I'm 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:12.520 a Delta and our animal is an elephant. They don't 0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:15.800 have elephant. They have an elephant, but the elephant, the 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:19.480 elephants trunk needs to be facing up like for it 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.040 to be like, we want our trunk to be up. 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:24.480 So I hate that I have to use this elephant 0:13:25.080 --> 0:13:29.200 with the trunk down and curled under because we only 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:31.720 want the elephant trunk to be up. And I wish 0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:34.440 I could somehow just ask them to revise it and 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:39.559 give me an elephant trunk facing for the for the Deltas. Yes, okay, 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:43.480 well I feel like i'm doing like I'm I'm violating 0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:47.200 some sort of like sorority code when I use this 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:50.960 elephant of big and it's trunk is not up, so 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:54.439 they have no choice. Okay, but y'all have y'all also 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:58.040 do the pyramid? Right? Yeah? So is there like there's 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:00.480 a red triangle the red triangle? Okay, so I'll use 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:02.679 that sometimes, but I like the elephant. Okay, I'm here 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:13.319 for you. Now. Can we talk about Tyler the Creator? Why? 0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:16.800 Because okay, first of all, my children, Tyler the creator. 0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:21.760 I think is very creative. I don't know the record. 0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:23.760 I don't have no idea who this person is. Really. 0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:28.080 He's extremely popular with the young folks. Okay, but why, Like, 0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:31.280 what does he do? He has music? He's yes, he's 0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:34.840 a he's a rapper. He's got a clothing line, golf 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:39.920 clothing line, Jenny's, which is an ice cream store. Every 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:44.200 summer they give him his own flavor, okay, which you 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:47.440 know is small potatoes in comparison to his world. He 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:52.280 is best friends with Jaden Smith. Okay, not that that 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:55.360 matters either. I mean he's he's just a creative dude. Okay, 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:58.800 google him. By the way, I want to talk about him, 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:01.080 not because he's till of the creative, but because of 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:04.000 what he said, because it resonated with me. Because he's 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:07.480 about to go on tour. Right, So he put out 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:10.560 a tweet to the world and it says something like this, Yo, 0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:17.440 if someone invites you to a show, don't effing be like, 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:23.000 can I get five passes? No is the answer. Okay, 0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:26.280 come with your one guest and show some fin respect. 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:29.680 Don't e and ask for a family amount of tickets. 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:32.680 And you think this is a charity who raised you. 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:36.720 People know you're ef in place. You ain't special. Somebody 0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:39.840 pissed him off, somebody made him real mad. But guess 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:44.560 what this I feel is an anthem. Anytime we have 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:49.000 a party or an event, a social gathering, there's always 0:15:49.040 --> 0:15:54.080 that one right that brings the whole cruel crew. Leave 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:58.560 your crew on home. Your crew is not invited, Okay, 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:01.440 leave them something called home. But do you know what 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:05.360 closed mouths don't get fed. Right, So if the answer 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:09.480 is no, then fine, I would be embarrassed to even ask. 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:13.960 But I be like, yo, Okay, I told my friends 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:16.160 I was going, and now everybody want to go. You 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:18.880 got can? I can so and so and so and okay, 0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:21.880 But his show is just like the callous for this conversation. 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:25.000 The conversation is, aren't you tired of people feeling like 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:27.640 they can bring Lottie Dotty and everybody. No, Lottie Dotty 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:30.160 and everybody first of all don't know how to act, 0:16:30.400 --> 0:16:33.720 and not feeding them. I don't want them around. Well, 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:40.880 I think, okay, see that's where we differ, right, that's 0:16:40.880 --> 0:16:42.640 where we differ. I just feel like it doesn't hurt 0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:45.840 to ask, right number one. Number two, The more the 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:49.080 merrier depending on the scenario. It depends on what it is. 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:52.480 Like if okay, if it's a birthday dinner and I'm 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:55.880 paying for everyone, you know, and I bring in the 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.920 whole crew. But if it's like a birthday party and 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:01.960 it's you know, it's gonna be fifty people, they're already, Well, 0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:07.879 what difference is fifty five? Mate? No? Them five need 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:11.600 to stay at home. And I don't like when people 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:14.080 feel like I don't know your friends and just because 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:15.760 your friends are friends with you does not mean their 0:17:15.800 --> 0:17:18.240 friends with me. Well, right, I mean that's true. It's 0:17:18.280 --> 0:17:19.879 just I mean, I feel like it's it just depends 0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:23.040 on the scenario. It doesn't hurt to ask, So like 0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:25.200 if he says no, then okay, all right, I'm coming 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:30.080 by myself right now, I'm coming, right, Yes, I'm coming. 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:34.480 But how many? But I've I've been. There's been so 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:37.320 many scenarios in which I could have been, like, yo, 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:40.080 can I bring three more people or five more people 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:43.560 or eight more people? I would never do that, I mean, right, 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:45.919 And who wants to roll that deep? Anyway? Yes? And 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:47.280 if you got to be a response, and then y'all 0:17:47.320 --> 0:17:50.520 have to coordinate, y'all got to wear matching socks. I mean, 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:53.400 it's just gets to be too much. Oh my god, 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:55.359 I don't. I mean, I personally just don't want to 0:17:55.440 --> 0:17:57.320 roll that deep because that's just it's just too much. 0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:59.879 Like yeah, pick your one or two. I mean some 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:02.960 times you might want to bring it a second person, right, 0:18:03.720 --> 0:18:07.440 you know, no, not really just one. No, like we okay, 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:09.000 for instance, like me and Robin we roll deep, we 0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:12.720 gotta squeeze Carly and sometimes and you know, sometimes we 0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:14.840 don't want to, like, well, we gotta squeeze her in. 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:17.080 So it's like I guess we we are at fault too. 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:20.879 There you go, there you go. We gotta you know, 0:18:20.960 --> 0:18:23.280 we ain't hurt no body. No, we didn't, but you know, 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:26.840 cheeze Louise. But somebody pissed them off right before then. 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:28.920 But you know what, it's funny. It reminds me of 0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:32.119 like when Sean was playing in the n b A 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:35.679 and you know, people would be like, hey, can I 0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:39.639 get tickets? And I'm like, uh, the box office is 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:43.479 not closed, right, the box office is open opens that eight. 0:18:44.359 --> 0:18:46.320 You're a ticket, go by it. It's just like it 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:48.600 would it would just be like I don't know, I 0:18:48.600 --> 0:18:51.760 mean certain scenarios, yeah, because maybe they're sold out and 0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:53.959 you know, you only have you know, all the players 0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:56.680 get their four tickets, so it doesn't hurt to ask. 0:18:56.760 --> 0:19:00.520 But then sometimes it's just like when you know the 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:02.320 games aren't sold out, you know what I mean, when 0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:04.280 it's like okay, and and if it's like a whole 0:19:04.280 --> 0:19:08.359 bunch of people trying to come, somebody needs are just yes. 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:13.000 Now I can't say that I have done this speaking 0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:16.440 of tickets. Um for instance, like Erica's has been Kevin, 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:21.000 he has access to tickets. So I'll say, look, I'm 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:23.480 gonna pay for my tickets, but I just wanted two 0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:30.159 good seats right at your price? Right? Yeah? Well no, no, 0:19:30.320 --> 0:19:31.879 well yeah, but I mean I don't I don't. I 0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:35.560 don't mind spending my money, but I would never be like, yo, 0:19:35.760 --> 0:19:38.920 you know my people want to roll through. Well yeah, yeah, 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:41.359 not cool. Okay, this this is this is kind of 0:19:41.359 --> 0:19:43.119 off topic really quickly, but I want to read this 0:19:43.160 --> 0:19:46.080 because it's kind of actually happened to me. So a 0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:49.080 couple of weeks ago, we Um talked about people and 0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:51.640 how they knew that the person that they were dealing 0:19:51.680 --> 0:19:54.200 with was not the one. Okay, So this one one woman, 0:19:54.280 --> 0:20:00.159 Megan Thomas, she wrote in and she said he was 0:20:00.200 --> 0:20:04.760 gone one weekend for a quote family reunion. Then he 0:20:04.880 --> 0:20:09.120 came back and told me so nonchalantly that he got 0:20:09.160 --> 0:20:13.640 engaged and wanted to show me the damn ring. Why 0:20:16.520 --> 0:20:19.600 so your boo goes away for our family reunion, he 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:24.199 comes back and he's engaged. What Okay, there's like a 0:20:24.240 --> 0:20:28.000 whole big part of this story that we're missing. That's 0:20:28.000 --> 0:20:29.960 all she gave us. That's all she gave us. But 0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:33.879 I can say that Gizelle was dating this dude casually, 0:20:34.560 --> 0:20:40.760 right casually, And let's say I was. I was with 0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:43.240 him on a particular weekend. Ten days later he was 0:20:43.240 --> 0:20:46.359 engaged really to someone else. He told you this when 0:20:46.400 --> 0:20:48.199 you found out, like through the news or something. I 0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:52.119 found announcement. I found out, but it wasn't I wasn't mad, 0:20:52.680 --> 0:20:54.440 Like I mean, I would have never married this dude. 0:20:54.560 --> 0:20:57.240 Like we were just kicking it. But like he could 0:20:57.280 --> 0:20:59.399 have said something right, But at that so at the 0:20:59.440 --> 0:21:01.720 time your cash really dating him, you had no clue 0:21:01.800 --> 0:21:05.960 that that was that he was even in a relationship. No, wow, 0:21:06.320 --> 0:21:08.040 I knew that. The So the girl that he ended 0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:11.159 up marrying I knew that they had dated prior, like 0:21:11.200 --> 0:21:12.879 a long time ago. I didn't know they're back together 0:21:12.960 --> 0:21:16.400 and he Ba hall Ring, Oh my god, crazy. Did 0:21:16.440 --> 0:21:18.400 you talk to him after you found out? I did 0:21:19.240 --> 0:21:23.080 with I mean, I wished him well. I was like congratulations. 0:21:23.440 --> 0:21:26.000 I didn't even it was all it's like nothing at 0:21:26.000 --> 0:21:29.120 no point and even like getting mad, because I wasn't 0:21:29.119 --> 0:21:30.760 even mad. The only part that I was kind of 0:21:30.800 --> 0:21:32.800 like whoa. It was like you, I was just what 0:21:32.840 --> 0:21:35.440 you do? You could have told me this, but then 0:21:35.480 --> 0:21:38.840 maybe maybe you were like the last hurrah, I think so, 0:21:39.280 --> 0:21:42.840 which has happened to me four times? Okay, by the way, okay, 0:21:43.000 --> 0:21:46.959 there's four dudes that came back around like, yo, I'm 0:21:46.960 --> 0:21:48.760 about to get married, and I was just wonder if 0:21:48.800 --> 0:21:50.560 we could, like, you know, spend some time together before 0:21:50.560 --> 0:21:53.199 I get married. I promise you four times about to 0:21:53.240 --> 0:21:56.080 get married, not about to get engaged, about to get married, 0:21:56.119 --> 0:21:58.040 like the wedding was like you know, the next weekend, 0:21:58.119 --> 0:22:00.840 and what was your answer? I I cannot tell that 0:22:00.880 --> 0:22:03.800 on this podcast because it depends on how it was 0:22:03.880 --> 0:22:05.879 when we would have got you know what I'm saying, 0:22:06.000 --> 0:22:08.000 you know, it depends on if it was an eggplant 0:22:08.440 --> 0:22:14.560 or Okay, So that means the answer was not no. 0:22:16.560 --> 0:22:19.000 I'm just saying, but guess what I think, get married, 0:22:19.040 --> 0:22:20.960 you off limits. I say you are single until you 0:22:20.960 --> 0:22:24.960 get married. Okay, anyway, moving on to you. Don't you 0:22:25.000 --> 0:22:29.439 don't feel bad about being like somebody's like scraps? Well no, 0:22:29.600 --> 0:22:31.560 because I look at it like maybe I wanted to 0:22:31.560 --> 0:22:34.800 see you one more time before or off the market. Yes, 0:22:35.320 --> 0:22:37.440 and I really wasn't was our side piece at the time. 0:22:37.840 --> 0:22:41.200 I guess for that night. Maybe. Okay, we're changing the subject. 0:22:44.280 --> 0:22:47.359 This is terrible. This is back in my twenties. Okay, okay, fine, 0:22:47.359 --> 0:22:51.120 it was last week anyway, going on so weeks ago, 0:22:51.240 --> 0:22:55.480 we talked about um, God bless her soul, Chestlee Chris, 0:22:57.400 --> 0:23:01.440 who committed suicide. She's just abuse beautiful specimen, a beautiful 0:23:01.520 --> 0:23:05.679 human being. Everything that we saw publicly right just she 0:23:05.840 --> 0:23:07.720 was like a court Um, what do you call those people? 0:23:08.600 --> 0:23:11.639 Queen responded, she was a correspondent, she was she was 0:23:11.680 --> 0:23:16.800 a pageant queen, and she just seemed like like so lighthearted, beautiful, 0:23:17.000 --> 0:23:21.520 beautiful spirit, always positive, and then she committed suicide. So 0:23:21.560 --> 0:23:25.240 we were asking you guys to give us your stories 0:23:25.280 --> 0:23:30.200 and your thoughts on depression and maybe even give us 0:23:30.480 --> 0:23:34.119 some tools that we can help provide so that this 0:23:34.160 --> 0:23:37.160 does not happen again. And and I want to forewarn 0:23:37.200 --> 0:23:39.560 I guess this is a trigger warning for some. So 0:23:39.680 --> 0:23:43.400 if this is a topic that you know is very 0:23:43.440 --> 0:23:45.960 delicate for you, this is a trigger warning, and you 0:23:46.000 --> 0:23:50.800 can turn off. But I hope everyone listens, and um, 0:23:50.840 --> 0:23:54.520 here's listens to people's stories and listens to ways to 0:23:55.119 --> 0:23:57.679 be supportive of others who are who are in this 0:23:57.760 --> 0:24:01.560 situation and how to overcome. I'm not going to give 0:24:01.600 --> 0:24:03.240 the person I'm gonna read a story. I'm not gonna 0:24:03.240 --> 0:24:07.320 give the person's name just for her anonymity, but she says, Hi, 0:24:07.560 --> 0:24:09.639 Robin and Giselle, I wanted to share my depression story 0:24:10.119 --> 0:24:14.320 that almost led to suicide. I had severe depression as 0:24:14.320 --> 0:24:17.080 a team due to bullying both at school and at home. 0:24:17.119 --> 0:24:19.840 I felt like there was no release or safe space, 0:24:20.640 --> 0:24:24.080 and having no release, I began cutting. I tried to 0:24:24.119 --> 0:24:26.880 find a release in writing poetry, but my mother took 0:24:26.960 --> 0:24:29.919 that and used it against me with my therapist and 0:24:29.960 --> 0:24:34.080 repeatedly told me I was crazy. Then I began cutting 0:24:34.080 --> 0:24:36.760 deeper and more frequently, and ultimately decided there was no 0:24:36.840 --> 0:24:40.680 way out, so I cut my face, my wrists, and stomach, 0:24:40.880 --> 0:24:43.400 and then locked myself in the bathroom, hoping I could 0:24:43.400 --> 0:24:48.600 die in peace. Thankfully, thankfully, my mother found me passed out, 0:24:48.640 --> 0:24:50.520 and I was taken to the emergency room and did 0:24:50.520 --> 0:24:53.840 a two week stint in the psych ward. During this time, 0:24:54.119 --> 0:24:56.879 all I was looking for was someone to love me, 0:24:57.160 --> 0:25:01.240 someone to tell me just because was different or bigger, 0:25:01.280 --> 0:25:05.040 that I wasn't fat, I wasn't ugly. I was exactly 0:25:05.080 --> 0:25:09.200 as God intended me to be. When you're depressed, reassurance 0:25:09.280 --> 0:25:12.520 and praise go a long way. Oftentimes, depressed people don't 0:25:12.560 --> 0:25:15.760 want to talk about what they are going through because 0:25:15.800 --> 0:25:19.600 they don't want to burden others. I felt that exact way, 0:25:19.640 --> 0:25:21.840 and I still do, and I'm thankful that I was 0:25:21.880 --> 0:25:24.639 able to grow past oppression and get to a place 0:25:24.720 --> 0:25:27.879 where I truly believe I am awesome. And then she 0:25:27.920 --> 0:25:30.119 says that she thinks that it's great that Rob and 0:25:30.160 --> 0:25:35.040 I are using our platform to talk about this. Um, 0:25:35.080 --> 0:25:38.280 this is actually a great story because she got to 0:25:38.320 --> 0:25:42.960 the other side right and um, you know, it sounds 0:25:43.040 --> 0:25:47.199 like in her story she didn't have the support. You know, 0:25:47.400 --> 0:25:49.960 she mentioned her mother, she didn't really have she wasn't 0:25:50.080 --> 0:25:52.240 getting the love that she needed maybe from her mother, 0:25:52.400 --> 0:25:56.080 or her mother wasn't taking her needs seriously. And we're 0:25:56.119 --> 0:25:58.639 no expert here and now you know, so we're just 0:25:58.680 --> 0:26:04.680 trying to talk through. But UM, I just think anyone 0:26:05.320 --> 0:26:08.720 just sharing, just giving love to anyone around you is 0:26:08.720 --> 0:26:11.560 so important. And I think people don't realize how important 0:26:11.560 --> 0:26:13.800 it is for people to feel loved and to feel 0:26:13.840 --> 0:26:17.639 acknowledged and listen and heard and recognized. And so you know, 0:26:18.200 --> 0:26:20.160 just as you are in your daily lives with your 0:26:20.160 --> 0:26:23.560 family and your friends, UM, make sure the people are 0:26:23.560 --> 0:26:26.600 around you who spend their time with you know that 0:26:26.640 --> 0:26:29.280 you love them and that you care for them. UM. 0:26:29.320 --> 0:26:32.280 And you just never know how how much of a 0:26:32.320 --> 0:26:34.160 world of a difference you can make for them. UM. 0:26:34.200 --> 0:26:37.960 I want to offer some resources as we read these, UM, 0:26:38.080 --> 0:26:42.640 just for people to look up. UM website this the 0:26:42.680 --> 0:26:49.600 American Association of Suicideology that's www Dot suicide Alogy dot org. 0:26:50.280 --> 0:26:54.199 The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention that's www Dot a 0:26:54.359 --> 0:26:58.040 f SP dot org. UM, and we're going to read 0:26:58.080 --> 0:27:03.040 another one and offer some more resources. UM. Hey, Robin 0:27:03.080 --> 0:27:04.840 and Gisel. First off, I want to say, I love 0:27:04.880 --> 0:27:06.879 your podcast and I love the two of you. You 0:27:06.880 --> 0:27:09.359 guys are such a beautiful example of female friendship and 0:27:09.400 --> 0:27:12.639 it's so freaking refreshing. I feel like I'm hanging out 0:27:12.680 --> 0:27:15.560 with my girlfriends when I listen to your show. Thanks 0:27:15.560 --> 0:27:19.199 for being hilarious and inspiring. Um, thank you for that. 0:27:19.680 --> 0:27:21.600 On a more serious note, I wanted to reply to 0:27:21.640 --> 0:27:24.480 your question in the last episode regarding depression, suicide, and 0:27:24.520 --> 0:27:27.760 self harm. I've struggled with depression for about twelve years now, 0:27:28.080 --> 0:27:30.600 been on antidepressants for most of that time, and although 0:27:30.640 --> 0:27:32.560 I'm happy to say that I'm doing very well most 0:27:32.600 --> 0:27:34.720 of the time, I still get hit with bouts of 0:27:34.760 --> 0:27:37.879 it now and again. My grandfather committed suicide before I 0:27:37.880 --> 0:27:40.080 was born, so it's always been something my family has 0:27:40.119 --> 0:27:44.040 discussed openly, which I really appreciate. I learned from a 0:27:44.119 --> 0:27:47.119 young age that people who commit suicide are not bad 0:27:47.200 --> 0:27:50.400 people or have something to hide. They are just hurting 0:27:50.560 --> 0:27:55.080 and tired. I've never attempted suicide, thankfully, but I've definitely 0:27:55.119 --> 0:27:58.560 gone through times where I considered it. On those days, 0:27:59.080 --> 0:28:02.919 the world feel so dark. It's like a cloud that 0:28:03.040 --> 0:28:06.000 hangs over you that you can't see your way through, 0:28:06.080 --> 0:28:09.520 no matter what anyone else says, no matter what you 0:28:09.560 --> 0:28:12.879 know to be true. For me, it's like the hurt 0:28:13.000 --> 0:28:16.520 and darkness is so deep that you just wanted to end, 0:28:17.080 --> 0:28:19.639 Like you've just got to escape it, and you can't 0:28:19.640 --> 0:28:23.000 see any other way. When I was younger, I used 0:28:23.040 --> 0:28:26.399 to deal with that pain by cutting. Somehow it felt 0:28:26.400 --> 0:28:29.800 like I could transfer the emotional pain into physical pain, 0:28:30.200 --> 0:28:33.560 and that was somehow easier to bear. But I'm happy 0:28:33.600 --> 0:28:36.160 to say that I haven't cut one single time since 0:28:36.200 --> 0:28:39.080 two thousand eighteen. The letter goes on, but I wanted 0:28:39.080 --> 0:28:42.520 to pause and say, I think this is so important 0:28:42.560 --> 0:28:46.680 to hear um someone actually describing you know, what is 0:28:46.760 --> 0:28:49.880 going through their their mind or their thought process when 0:28:49.880 --> 0:28:53.480 they are considering suicide. UM. And just know, you know 0:28:53.760 --> 0:28:56.960 if you get to these places where it's dark and 0:28:57.000 --> 0:28:59.160 that you feel like a cloud is hanging over over you, 0:28:59.240 --> 0:29:01.560 that you can get through to it. UM. I want 0:29:01.560 --> 0:29:04.000 to continue with the letter. For me, the most importive 0:29:04.040 --> 0:29:06.040 thing that the people around me can do is to 0:29:06.120 --> 0:29:09.280 not judge and not and to not act scared of me. 0:29:09.560 --> 0:29:11.960 If I tell a friend that I've been struggling or 0:29:11.960 --> 0:29:15.400 had suicidal thoughts, It's important that they stay calm and 0:29:15.440 --> 0:29:18.840 talk it through with me. If they start hyperventilating and 0:29:18.840 --> 0:29:21.160 freaking out all over the place, I'm just not going 0:29:21.200 --> 0:29:23.640 to share it with them. In the situation will get worse. 0:29:24.120 --> 0:29:26.560 On the other hand, if a friend treats me like 0:29:26.600 --> 0:29:29.480 when I'm a normal human being who's having a hard time, 0:29:29.840 --> 0:29:32.840 I'll be much more apt to open up and actually 0:29:32.840 --> 0:29:35.920 be able to see away through that dark cloud. I 0:29:35.960 --> 0:29:38.320 also think it's really important that we don't judge people 0:29:38.320 --> 0:29:42.080 for taking medication that helps them stay balanced. The world 0:29:42.120 --> 0:29:44.320 is getting better about this, but I still get jabbed 0:29:44.360 --> 0:29:47.280 sometimes from friends saying things like, oh, I would never 0:29:47.360 --> 0:29:50.600 take pills, as though doing so somehow makes me lesser. 0:29:51.240 --> 0:29:54.000 It's basically saying I didn't try hard enough, which is 0:29:54.000 --> 0:29:56.320 a pretty shitty thing to say to a friend, even 0:29:56.360 --> 0:29:59.640 if they mean well. I'm also a huge fan of therapy, 0:30:00.040 --> 0:30:03.520 a yoga teacher, and I've tried every meditation practice under 0:30:03.560 --> 0:30:08.160 the sun, but those things alone weren't enough in my case. 0:30:08.440 --> 0:30:13.360 Sometimes you just need medications anyway. Thank you for reading 0:30:13.360 --> 0:30:15.160 this novel of an answer. Thank you for using your 0:30:15.160 --> 0:30:17.600 platform to talk about these kinds of issues and help 0:30:17.680 --> 0:30:20.680 bring more understanding to people. It can be an uncomfortable 0:30:20.720 --> 0:30:22.960 topics are really come into both of you for taking on. 0:30:23.040 --> 0:30:25.800 Thanks for all you do. Yeah, I And we've talked 0:30:25.800 --> 0:30:29.800 about therapy on this show before and how important it 0:30:29.840 --> 0:30:32.440 is and how I'm happy that, Like now, I feel 0:30:32.440 --> 0:30:35.200 like culture and society has gotten to a place where 0:30:35.240 --> 0:30:37.480 it's not like a bad word, and it's not looked 0:30:37.520 --> 0:30:41.000 upon as like something that is not common. It's very common. 0:30:41.560 --> 0:30:43.240 The more people I talked to, the more people I meet, 0:30:43.400 --> 0:30:45.800 the more people I know are in therapy. Yeah. Yeah, 0:30:45.840 --> 0:30:47.760 you know, it's so funny. I was. I was out 0:30:47.800 --> 0:30:51.240 to dinner the other day with um. It might have 0:30:51.280 --> 0:30:54.480 been seven of us at the table. Carly, So you 0:30:54.520 --> 0:30:56.440 and Carl went out and didn't invite me. It was 0:30:56.520 --> 0:30:59.520 like five other people there, and well, if we invited 0:30:59.560 --> 0:31:01.360 you and they would have been looking at us like 0:31:02.360 --> 0:31:06.040 how you want to invite another perfect thing? I could 0:31:06.040 --> 0:31:09.360 have been a plus one. Okay, okay, but anyway, Yes, 0:31:09.560 --> 0:31:11.520 So Carly and I went to school together, so we 0:31:11.520 --> 0:31:14.280 were there with our our friends from Maryland, our girlfriends 0:31:14.280 --> 0:31:17.080 from Maryland. So as we're like talking, everyone is going 0:31:17.080 --> 0:31:19.480 around the table talking about Well, when I talked to 0:31:19.560 --> 0:31:22.000 my therapist and when I really therapist. And I talked 0:31:22.000 --> 0:31:24.760 to my therapist and I literally asked the question, I'm like, 0:31:24.840 --> 0:31:27.479 so everybody here goes to therapy, and you were like, 0:31:27.600 --> 0:31:31.320 but I'm not a therapy, maybe I should be a therapy. 0:31:31.800 --> 0:31:33.680 It was like me and one other person and we 0:31:33.680 --> 0:31:38.960 were both like, soy in there. But but especially from 0:31:39.960 --> 0:31:43.080 everybody's says that's true, that's true. Yeah, So so it's 0:31:43.120 --> 0:31:44.960 really cool. I mean, I I do feel like the 0:31:45.000 --> 0:31:48.680 stigma of going to therapy and taking medication and all 0:31:48.720 --> 0:31:52.440 of that is slowly getting lifted. And you know, I 0:31:52.480 --> 0:31:54.960 think and I think it's just good to hear from 0:31:55.080 --> 0:31:58.240 um the recent letter I just read, like, you know, 0:31:58.480 --> 0:32:01.400 if someone expresses whatever it is that they're going to 0:32:01.640 --> 0:32:04.080 that as a friend, you just be a listening ear. 0:32:04.840 --> 0:32:10.440 Just don't judge, don't overreact, don't make it seem you know, 0:32:10.920 --> 0:32:12.440 you know, if you hear a friend of suicidal, you 0:32:12.520 --> 0:32:16.200 might want to panic, right, and but you got to 0:32:16.240 --> 0:32:18.080 figure out how to make how to not make the 0:32:18.120 --> 0:32:20.160 situation worse for them. And I have to say that 0:32:20.280 --> 0:32:25.000 I personally had to work on that. Like I would 0:32:25.080 --> 0:32:29.080 hear my girlfriend's problems, would hear how they're feeling and 0:32:29.840 --> 0:32:34.400 would be judgmental, right, and would like give a judgmental 0:32:34.520 --> 0:32:38.040 response as opposed to just shutting the hell up and 0:32:38.120 --> 0:32:40.400 just listening and being a friend, because you're probably coming 0:32:40.440 --> 0:32:43.760 from a point of how you know what you would 0:32:43.800 --> 0:32:46.120 do or how you would handle things, or you know, 0:32:46.160 --> 0:32:50.440 would you even be experiencing that, versus how can I help? 0:32:50.560 --> 0:32:52.760 How can I help? What can I do? And actually 0:32:52.800 --> 0:32:55.280 my kids have taught me. They didn't know they taught 0:32:55.280 --> 0:32:57.640 me this, but like sometimes they just want me to listen. 0:32:58.320 --> 0:33:01.680 There they are venting, they're going to hell off on 0:33:01.800 --> 0:33:05.360 just like their day, what happened, how they're feeling. And 0:33:05.520 --> 0:33:08.040 my kids are able to express their feelings a lot, 0:33:08.680 --> 0:33:10.959 whereas when I was their age, I could not express 0:33:10.960 --> 0:33:12.920 my feelings. I didn't have feelings. I didn't know what 0:33:13.120 --> 0:33:15.560 I still don't have feelings. But that's a whole another story. 0:33:15.600 --> 0:33:18.120 But all they want me to do, and I think 0:33:18.160 --> 0:33:20.280 one of them said, Mom, we just want you to listen. 0:33:20.600 --> 0:33:23.320 Like all they want me to do is listen and 0:33:24.360 --> 0:33:28.080 not be so quick about trying to because I'm all 0:33:28.120 --> 0:33:30.080 about like trying to find a solution and trying to 0:33:30.080 --> 0:33:33.200 find the best way to make make things better. Um, 0:33:33.320 --> 0:33:35.200 they don't. They don't. They don't. They don't want that. 0:33:35.280 --> 0:33:38.120 People don't necessarily want that. They just want you to 0:33:38.240 --> 0:33:42.239 know that they are supported and that you listen and 0:33:42.320 --> 0:33:47.160 that no matter what, you love them. So I've personally 0:33:47.200 --> 0:33:49.480 had to work on that on my side of it. Yeah, 0:33:49.600 --> 0:33:51.640 that's good. And I feel like I'm the same because 0:33:51.680 --> 0:33:56.160 I am. I am a very like tough, thick skinned person. 0:33:56.760 --> 0:33:58.360 And when I do have friends that are like going 0:33:58.400 --> 0:34:00.440 through stuff, you know, I kind of don't you staying like, 0:34:00.480 --> 0:34:02.640 well just ignore it, just keep it moving, Like why 0:34:02.680 --> 0:34:04.719 can't you just let it go? You know? But I 0:34:04.760 --> 0:34:08.440 have to say like, okay, well how can I help you, 0:34:08.440 --> 0:34:11.319 you know, get through this? Or um, you know what 0:34:11.360 --> 0:34:13.480 can I do for you? Or you know, what do 0:34:13.480 --> 0:34:14.719 you want me to say? You know what I mean, 0:34:14.840 --> 0:34:16.239 like what do you what do you want from me? 0:34:16.280 --> 0:34:18.040 Do you want me to listen? Do you want me 0:34:18.080 --> 0:34:19.879 to offer you what I would do? Do you want 0:34:19.880 --> 0:34:22.600 me to you know, maybe find someone for you to 0:34:22.640 --> 0:34:24.440 talk to? You know? So I think sometimes I think, 0:34:24.440 --> 0:34:26.720 but I think it's good. That's good Robin that you're asking, 0:34:27.400 --> 0:34:32.400 You're asking them what they need um as opposed to 0:34:32.480 --> 0:34:36.160 just jumping in and and and thinking that you know 0:34:36.200 --> 0:34:39.280 what they need. Yeah, because we can't assume that everyone 0:34:39.360 --> 0:34:42.400 is going to handle things the same way. Um So, 0:34:42.840 --> 0:34:46.400 another person emailed us UM some resources, a really good resource, 0:34:47.040 --> 0:34:50.520 another resource. Her name is Mara Wheeler and Mara UM 0:34:50.560 --> 0:34:52.600 I appreciate you. You know I do, because she posted 0:34:52.640 --> 0:34:55.759 something really nice about UM about us in the podcast. 0:34:55.880 --> 0:35:00.280 But Mara works for a nonprofit called Minding Your Mind 0:35:00.480 --> 0:35:04.880 and their website is minding your Mind dot org. Um 0:35:04.960 --> 0:35:09.520 It provides mental health education and suicide prevention training in schools, communities, 0:35:09.560 --> 0:35:12.799 and workplaces across the country. So they have a program 0:35:12.920 --> 0:35:17.040 called Changing Minds Story Over Stigma, where young adults who 0:35:17.080 --> 0:35:20.480 have lived through mental health crisis share their personal stories 0:35:20.520 --> 0:35:23.560 with an audience. So you can actually hear from, you know, 0:35:23.600 --> 0:35:26.920 people who are like um our listeners who have emailed 0:35:26.960 --> 0:35:30.239 in UM and they share their stories about their mental 0:35:30.239 --> 0:35:34.799 health challenges and challenges with suicide and everything. Um So, 0:35:34.840 --> 0:35:37.160 the goal is to start teaching kids as young as 0:35:37.239 --> 0:35:40.840 kindergarten how to talk about their emotions and to build resilience. 0:35:40.880 --> 0:35:44.240 Resilience that ends the stigma around being open and honest 0:35:44.280 --> 0:35:46.880 about mental health. Love that yes, so, she says, everyone 0:35:46.920 --> 0:35:50.439 talks about a broken bone, heart, disease, cancer, why don't 0:35:50.480 --> 0:35:52.759 they talk about other illnesses that you know, impact the 0:35:52.800 --> 0:35:57.360 brain and so important. So this is a great website 0:35:57.400 --> 0:35:59.960 to go to um and then she gives a very 0:36:00.160 --> 0:36:04.520 interesting stat about suicide. She says research has shown that 0:36:05.400 --> 0:36:08.520 of those who die from suicide have an undiagnosed or 0:36:08.640 --> 0:36:12.800 untreated mental health disorder. The CDC estimates that for every 0:36:12.880 --> 0:36:18.120 completed suicide, there are twenty five attempts when someone in 0:36:18.200 --> 0:36:22.560 crisis is identified and guide it to receive help. Eighty 0:36:22.680 --> 0:36:27.480 two of people that seek treatment for depression are treated 0:36:27.560 --> 0:36:33.239 successfully using therapy and or medication. So teaching people how 0:36:33.320 --> 0:36:35.760 to talk about their feelings and mental health saves lives. 0:36:35.760 --> 0:36:38.400 So that says to me, so the people are committing 0:36:38.440 --> 0:36:43.000 suicide haven't even been treated for depression, so they haven't 0:36:43.000 --> 0:36:45.200 even had a chance to even talk it through or 0:36:45.239 --> 0:36:48.479 to get on medication. And so you know, once again, 0:36:48.520 --> 0:36:51.240 it's like if you find yourself in that dark place 0:36:51.400 --> 0:36:53.560 and you don't know why, and that cloud is hanging 0:36:53.560 --> 0:36:56.839 over you, just pause and say, let me talk to somebody, 0:36:57.040 --> 0:37:00.000 because you could save your life, and you know, or 0:37:00.000 --> 0:37:03.720 hopefully someone can save your life by talking to you. So, yeah, 0:37:03.760 --> 0:37:15.439 that's really strong. So I want to play audio voice 0:37:15.440 --> 0:37:18.880 men with that. We received on mental health really quickly, 0:37:19.000 --> 0:37:23.040 but I think she just kind of hit the nail 0:37:23.080 --> 0:37:25.279 on the head. Yes, yes, the nail on the head 0:37:28.440 --> 0:37:31.600 at the tone. Please record your message. When you have 0:37:31.640 --> 0:37:34.560 finished recording, you may hang up or press one for 0:37:34.640 --> 0:37:39.560 more options. Hi Rovin, Hi Jazelle. Thank you so much 0:37:39.560 --> 0:37:42.359 for addressing this important topic on your podcast. I love 0:37:42.440 --> 0:37:44.960 the show in the podcast and it definitely helped me 0:37:45.040 --> 0:37:47.879 to relieve a lot of stress in the past. Um, 0:37:47.920 --> 0:37:51.160 so thank you again. Just as background on myself on 0:37:52.000 --> 0:37:54.680 I am a wife and a mother. I was raised 0:37:54.680 --> 0:37:57.200 by my mother, who at the time had an undiagnosed 0:37:57.239 --> 0:38:00.680 mental illness, and they suffered some emotional movies there. I've 0:38:00.680 --> 0:38:04.560 suffered with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager, 0:38:04.800 --> 0:38:07.600 and I was diagnosed with postpartum depression right after I 0:38:07.640 --> 0:38:11.000 had my son, and that's when I began taking antidepressants 0:38:11.000 --> 0:38:13.680 and I've been taking them ever since. They helped me 0:38:13.800 --> 0:38:16.360 a lot. I know that not everyone wants to take medication, 0:38:16.400 --> 0:38:19.920 but they helped me a lot. My husband has just 0:38:20.040 --> 0:38:24.719 been diagnosed as bipolar. UM some things that helped me personally. 0:38:24.760 --> 0:38:27.480 I can't speak for everyone is taking my medication. I 0:38:27.480 --> 0:38:30.640 appreciate the reminders from my support system, including my husband, 0:38:31.080 --> 0:38:33.920 to take my medication at the proper time and to 0:38:34.000 --> 0:38:36.920 not forget it. Going to the gym and getting outside 0:38:37.080 --> 0:38:39.399 helps me a lot, and of course playing with my son. 0:38:39.880 --> 0:38:42.600 My son inspired me to go to therapy. I've been 0:38:42.600 --> 0:38:45.560 in therapy for six months, and to anyone who is 0:38:45.600 --> 0:38:48.719 nervous about starting medication or speaking with a doctor, I 0:38:48.719 --> 0:38:53.040 would definitely suggest seeing a therapist because talking about past trauma, 0:38:53.120 --> 0:38:57.360 past issues, current issues can really help to resolve some 0:38:57.760 --> 0:39:00.080 past issues might have and also has given me a 0:39:00.120 --> 0:39:02.520 lot of clarity of my current life. In the past 0:39:02.520 --> 0:39:04.680 six months of going to therapy, I have learned so 0:39:04.760 --> 0:39:06.960 much about myself and I've become a lot more confident 0:39:07.320 --> 0:39:11.040 and I am less depressed um overall, so I hope 0:39:11.120 --> 0:39:14.440 this helps. Thank you again for bringing awareness to this 0:39:14.520 --> 0:39:18.680 topic in our community. There's so much stigma and this 0:39:18.760 --> 0:39:23.160 is my true passion in life, is bringing mental health 0:39:23.320 --> 0:39:27.520 resources and education to those and underserved communities. Thank you again, 0:39:27.680 --> 0:39:30.799 have a good day. I love that. I love that 0:39:30.880 --> 0:39:33.040 she you know for a couple of things. One she 0:39:33.040 --> 0:39:35.839 talked about postpartum depression, which, by the way, I feel 0:39:35.880 --> 0:39:39.400 like I had after Grace and it was like confused, 0:39:39.440 --> 0:39:41.000 like what is wrong with me? And couldn't get out 0:39:41.000 --> 0:39:44.040 of it. Right. I just recently, Um, not to bring 0:39:44.120 --> 0:39:47.239 up the genders, but Kylie Jenner just said that you know, 0:39:47.400 --> 0:39:52.400 she's suffering. She's going through it way different from giving 0:39:52.400 --> 0:39:55.240 birth to her first job, right, and so that says 0:39:55.360 --> 0:39:57.680 like it doesn't matter who you are, how much money 0:39:57.719 --> 0:40:00.080 you have, where you come from, like the depression and 0:40:00.120 --> 0:40:04.320 does not escape people. And she she talked about the 0:40:04.360 --> 0:40:06.239 gym like that's actually the thing that I feel like 0:40:06.320 --> 0:40:09.960 helps me so much is the jam just like sometimes 0:40:10.000 --> 0:40:12.480 you just have to get out of your your headspace, yeah, 0:40:12.640 --> 0:40:15.080 to just release it, Yeah, and do whatever it is 0:40:15.120 --> 0:40:17.600 that that you know helps you to release that. I 0:40:17.600 --> 0:40:19.800 think it was great just to hear put like a voice, 0:40:20.360 --> 0:40:22.239 so you know, it's great to read the emails, but 0:40:22.320 --> 0:40:24.880 to like actually hear her voice. You can hear the 0:40:25.040 --> 0:40:28.759 vulnerability in her voice and hopefully for people listening it, 0:40:29.560 --> 0:40:33.200 you know, resonated with somebody. Just anything that we've said, Um, 0:40:33.360 --> 0:40:36.000 we're not experts here, We're just trying to you know, 0:40:36.120 --> 0:40:42.120 have a conversation and hopefully we've enlightened somebody and whether 0:40:42.160 --> 0:40:45.160 it's someone that is struggling or someone that is going 0:40:45.440 --> 0:40:49.000 is supportive of somebody that's struggling. But um, you know, 0:40:49.080 --> 0:40:51.040 let's just just try to be a little more gentler 0:40:51.120 --> 0:40:54.360 with each other. Now. I know you have eight tips, 0:40:55.400 --> 0:40:59.719 eight tips out here in these streets to boost self confidence. Yes, 0:41:00.000 --> 0:41:03.560 so we're gonna end on a on a motivational, yes, 0:41:04.040 --> 0:41:08.640 positive note. I came across this really great um Instagram 0:41:08.680 --> 0:41:11.640 page that offers all these types of like just great 0:41:11.680 --> 0:41:15.319 motivational thing, so I'll be sharing more. We I think 0:41:15.320 --> 0:41:17.560 we always leave on a positive note. You think so, 0:41:17.760 --> 0:41:19.719 I think so. I mean we try to, like you know, 0:41:20.040 --> 0:41:22.560 I'm sure most of the time we're laughing and joking 0:41:22.560 --> 0:41:26.640 about something, right, Yes, alright, So I have eight easy 0:41:26.760 --> 0:41:33.759 tricks to boost your confidence. One walk faster, throw your 0:41:33.760 --> 0:41:37.240 shoulders back, lift up your head, move ahead a little faster, 0:41:37.400 --> 0:41:40.560 and feel that self confidence grow. I think that's how 0:41:40.600 --> 0:41:46.120 I walk right now. Yeah you do? Okay, alright, So 0:41:46.239 --> 0:41:51.359 walk like Gisel. Yes, talk slowly. People who feel they 0:41:51.400 --> 0:41:55.240 aren't worthy of being listened to tend to talk quickly. 0:41:55.920 --> 0:42:00.000 So ensure that you aren't rushing. Okay. Now there's talking slowly, 0:42:00.200 --> 0:42:04.840 and then it's talking like my dad. Okay, my dad 0:42:06.040 --> 0:42:15.000 very slows, I mean gall So how are the girls? Okay? 0:42:15.040 --> 0:42:17.640 That drives me inside. No, I know, and I feel 0:42:17.680 --> 0:42:20.520 like that's how my parents are too. My mother takes 0:42:21.080 --> 0:42:23.959 forever to tell a story, like she has to tell you. 0:42:24.200 --> 0:42:27.200 So if the story is about the grocery store, like okay, 0:42:27.200 --> 0:42:29.000 I went to the grocery store and I bought grapes, 0:42:29.440 --> 0:42:32.600 she has to tell you that she first stopped at 0:42:32.600 --> 0:42:34.840 the red light and there was a homeless man and 0:42:34.880 --> 0:42:38.120 she gave him two dollars, and then, you know, and 0:42:38.160 --> 0:42:40.520 then she drove, you know, two blocks down the street 0:42:40.960 --> 0:42:42.799 and she saw a woman with a cute dress on. 0:42:43.160 --> 0:42:44.880 You know, Like she has to tell you, like the 0:42:45.000 --> 0:42:48.399 whole story, every little detail. And then I'm like, oh 0:42:48.440 --> 0:42:50.720 my god, get to the point to the point where 0:42:51.200 --> 0:42:55.479 I feel like I communicate. I get for the most part, 0:42:55.520 --> 0:42:58.000 get like straight to the point. It's no like fluff. 0:42:58.040 --> 0:43:00.879 I'm like, you know, this is it? By what else? 0:43:00.920 --> 0:43:05.160 You like? I don't. I don't. I don't elaborate a 0:43:05.160 --> 0:43:09.600 ton on my stories that you use no adjectives, right, Okay, 0:43:09.760 --> 0:43:12.879 you straight to the point. Yeah, because my mom. Because 0:43:12.920 --> 0:43:14.279 I sit there and listen to my mom and I'm like, 0:43:14.440 --> 0:43:19.560 this cannot be Okay, it just can't. Okay, So talk slow, 0:43:19.640 --> 0:43:25.680 but not that slow exactly, all right. Three Accomplish small goals. 0:43:26.080 --> 0:43:28.720 Try making your bed in the morning. You will feel 0:43:28.719 --> 0:43:32.640 accomplished and that will pave the way for achieving bigger goals. 0:43:32.680 --> 0:43:34.720 So whether it's you know, making your bed or making 0:43:34.800 --> 0:43:38.760 breakfast or you know, just something that you don't normally do. Um, 0:43:38.800 --> 0:43:41.239 but just you know, instead of saying, oh my god, 0:43:41.280 --> 0:43:44.239 I got a solve world peace or whatever, like, you know, 0:43:44.360 --> 0:43:46.480 it's fine to have little small goals and feel that 0:43:46.600 --> 0:43:50.240 you accomplish something. And that goes also for like starting 0:43:50.239 --> 0:43:52.640 a business. Don't try to start the business all in 0:43:52.680 --> 0:43:56.040 one day. It's baby steps, okay. Yes, And my advice 0:43:56.120 --> 0:43:59.359 I always give this advice to business owners, like, don't 0:43:59.400 --> 0:44:02.320 expect to two tho dollars in your first day or 0:44:02.360 --> 0:44:04.720 in your first month. Just be happy with two hundred 0:44:04.719 --> 0:44:07.239 dollars in your first month and then make your next 0:44:07.239 --> 0:44:11.640 goal to be you know, so set small goals that 0:44:11.800 --> 0:44:15.880 you know can that you can feel accomplished by. Okay. Um. 0:44:15.920 --> 0:44:20.280 Number four dressed nicely. Yes, this may come across as cliche, 0:44:20.360 --> 0:44:23.319 but when you dressed nicely, you will most likely feel 0:44:23.400 --> 0:44:27.160 more confident. Yes, and ladies put some lip gloss on 0:44:28.120 --> 0:44:29.839 and you know, and I hate to say it because 0:44:29.840 --> 0:44:34.000 they hate them. But wearing heels, oh my god, that 0:44:34.239 --> 0:44:36.560 definitely does something. You can't tell me a thing. I 0:44:36.600 --> 0:44:38.920 got some heels on, something, my little strappy time forwards. 0:44:39.000 --> 0:44:41.279 You can't tell me nothing. But I hate wearing him. 0:44:41.400 --> 0:44:44.840 I know it's a situation. I digress really quickly. I 0:44:44.840 --> 0:44:46.840 had on some heels is when I was in Miami 0:44:46.920 --> 0:44:50.719 couple of weeks ago. I had drinks too much, but 0:44:51.120 --> 0:44:53.000 I could walk to the bathroom with those heels on. 0:44:53.239 --> 0:44:56.400 And I, for the life of me, was asking God 0:44:56.719 --> 0:45:00.839 why he did that to us? I was like, why 0:45:00.880 --> 0:45:03.680 did you do this to the to the ways, Hey, 0:45:03.680 --> 0:45:05.600 why do we have to do that? Yeah, and it's 0:45:05.640 --> 0:45:07.960 so crazy. I feel like as I get older, if 0:45:08.040 --> 0:45:11.480 I drink anything, oh it's over, my feet are swelling 0:45:11.600 --> 0:45:15.040 up like instantly. Yeah, and you can't walk, But anyway, 0:45:16.920 --> 0:45:20.120 you take forever to get through these things. Number five, 0:45:20.200 --> 0:45:24.440 empower yourself with knowledge. Empowering yourself in general is one 0:45:24.440 --> 0:45:27.960 of the best strategies for building confidence. Yes, so read books, 0:45:28.000 --> 0:45:31.759 read articles all that. My mother's number one saying, you 0:45:31.760 --> 0:45:34.040 know how your mother has like a media saying, she'd 0:45:34.040 --> 0:45:38.359 be like, knowledge is power to sell. Knowledge is power. 0:45:38.880 --> 0:45:40.600 And I used to hate that, and now I tell 0:45:40.600 --> 0:45:46.000 my kids knowledge power. I'll be like, O, study knowledge 0:45:46.080 --> 0:45:48.600 is power. Yes, but it's so true. It's so true. 0:45:49.280 --> 0:45:52.640 Be a front seater. Ever noticed in meetings how the 0:45:52.680 --> 0:45:57.440 back seats? Philip First, the reason is lack of confidence, really, 0:45:57.560 --> 0:45:59.560 or you don't know the answer, or you don't like 0:45:59.560 --> 0:46:01.080 if you're cool, you're sitting in the backcause you'll know 0:46:01.120 --> 0:46:02.880 the answer. I don't know, you don't do the homework. 0:46:03.360 --> 0:46:06.640 I mean I always like to sit in the back. 0:46:07.080 --> 0:46:09.160 I like to sit in the back of the bus. 0:46:09.200 --> 0:46:14.520 But like, like if I'm on a bus, was on 0:46:14.560 --> 0:46:16.759 a bus recently because we were on we were on 0:46:16.840 --> 0:46:18.960 Maryland's campus and we take on a shuttle bus from 0:46:19.000 --> 0:46:20.800 like one part of the campus to the other podcast 0:46:21.360 --> 0:46:24.240 and just instantly you get on and you just instantly 0:46:24.239 --> 0:46:26.440 go to the back of the bus. Or if I'm 0:46:26.480 --> 0:46:28.560 like like on a bus from like an airport shuttle, 0:46:28.600 --> 0:46:30.439 I just instantly walked all the way to the back, 0:46:31.280 --> 0:46:33.719 but in a classroom and seeing in a classroom, it's like, yeah, 0:46:33.760 --> 0:46:36.600 I'm going in the back because I'm going to sleep. Well, 0:46:36.600 --> 0:46:38.600 we know, we know how you graduated from the University 0:46:38.600 --> 0:46:43.520 of Maryland. That was episode I think anyway we're going 0:46:43.920 --> 0:46:45.399 but no, but I get it. Yes, if you're sitting 0:46:45.360 --> 0:46:47.400 in the front, you have no choice but to be alert, 0:46:47.520 --> 0:46:51.240 engage and confident. Yes, that is so true. Number seven 0:46:51.280 --> 0:46:55.360 practice making eye contact. Oh yes, yes, yes. Me and 0:46:55.440 --> 0:46:57.319 Robin look at each other's eyes all the time. Now 0:46:57.440 --> 0:47:00.759 I can say that when some he doesn't look me 0:47:00.840 --> 0:47:08.080 in the eye. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. It's okay, it's 0:47:08.400 --> 0:47:12.640 it's what Carly, she's talking about our friend. Oh okay, 0:47:12.719 --> 0:47:16.719 y'all have okay, they have a single side joke hurt 0:47:16.760 --> 0:47:19.440 you know, Okay, we'll tell I'll tell you, Okay, you 0:47:19.480 --> 0:47:23.239 go tell me now. No, okay, okay, So I had 0:47:23.280 --> 0:47:26.920 there's another. Um. If I'm out and a woman doesn't 0:47:27.080 --> 0:47:28.200 like look at me in my eye and I'm like 0:47:28.239 --> 0:47:31.640 saying something, I always feel like you up to something. Really, 0:47:31.719 --> 0:47:35.280 I just i'm you're sleeping with somebody's man. I'll convince 0:47:35.440 --> 0:47:37.600 any woman that does won't look you and I they're 0:47:37.600 --> 0:47:39.400 sleeping with somebody's eyes. I mean it could be or 0:47:39.400 --> 0:47:42.200 they could just lack confidence. Okay, they could just lack 0:47:42.200 --> 0:47:45.480 confidence okay, or they're like ashamed because they know what 0:47:45.520 --> 0:47:48.120 they did a week ago to your husband, or because 0:47:48.160 --> 0:47:50.120 they're thinking about what they want to do. Yeah, that's 0:47:50.160 --> 0:47:52.560 that that could be in too, Okay, all right, yes, 0:47:52.600 --> 0:47:57.120 But and even due weak handshakes, yeah, we can the worst. 0:47:57.520 --> 0:47:59.600 And dudes that like, I like talk to you and 0:47:59.600 --> 0:48:01.240 they like don't really look you in the eye because 0:48:01.239 --> 0:48:03.480 and then they're like, oh yeah, as it's so beautiful. 0:48:03.480 --> 0:48:05.800 I just have a hard time staring into them. Boy, 0:48:05.920 --> 0:48:09.160 you're the worst. Get out of here. Why how did 0:48:09.239 --> 0:48:12.440 how did this this list? Let's start? Okay, anyway, what's 0:48:12.440 --> 0:48:15.440 the last on one? Robert? Okay, practice speaking up at 0:48:15.520 --> 0:48:18.799 every meeting. When you're in a meeting, speak, comment, make 0:48:18.840 --> 0:48:22.359 a suggestion, ask a question. Okay, I don't I don't 0:48:22.400 --> 0:48:24.520 agree with this. You don't know. I let me tell 0:48:24.520 --> 0:48:26.840 you why. And we know this from the meetings that 0:48:26.880 --> 0:48:29.800 we have to do that. A lot of times people 0:48:29.800 --> 0:48:31.560 feel that way, so they phrase their hand, they say 0:48:31.640 --> 0:48:34.440 dumb shit, and you're just wasting everybody's time. But you're 0:48:34.480 --> 0:48:37.279 dumb ship Well, okay, don't speak up and say dumb 0:48:37.280 --> 0:48:40.320 shit like but they think, oh, I've got to say something, 0:48:40.360 --> 0:48:43.360 so and I'm gonna speak like this because the person 0:48:43.400 --> 0:48:47.520 I'm referring to talks like this. She's very grand and 0:48:47.560 --> 0:48:51.880 she'll say something and it's like we didn't need that, Karen. 0:48:52.320 --> 0:48:55.399 I mean, it's like, you know, sometimes just say nothing. No, 0:48:55.480 --> 0:48:58.040 I mean that's true, that's true. Yeah, I mean, I'm 0:48:58.080 --> 0:49:01.680 I'm definitely of the type that's I speak when it's necessary, 0:49:01.800 --> 0:49:05.759 like I'm not talking just to be talking, and don't 0:49:05.760 --> 0:49:10.040 ask dumb questions. But but don't be intimidated to speak 0:49:10.120 --> 0:49:14.040 up in a meeting or presentation or you know whatever. 0:49:14.160 --> 0:49:16.960 Just you know, if you have something that's constructive to 0:49:17.000 --> 0:49:21.799 add to the conversation, yes, speak up. Yes, okay, this 0:49:21.880 --> 0:49:24.400 was good. This was good stuff. We helped Actually, all 0:49:24.480 --> 0:49:28.000 jokes aside. We hope we helped at least one person. Um, 0:49:28.080 --> 0:49:31.120 don't forget if you are feeling dark, if you are blue, 0:49:31.760 --> 0:49:34.520 don't think that you can't reach out to somebody to 0:49:34.560 --> 0:49:37.880 ask for help. Therapy is a great thing. Try to 0:49:37.920 --> 0:49:40.919 find an outlet and just know that tomorrow will be 0:49:40.920 --> 0:49:44.480 better than the day that you're in. Yes, absolutely, all right, 0:49:44.640 --> 0:49:47.080 I mean yeah, I think I think you did that well, 0:49:47.120 --> 0:49:49.560 I did that well. Thank you, thank you ing because 0:49:50.040 --> 0:49:52.520 because at the beginning of this episode she was ready 0:49:52.560 --> 0:49:55.360 to get rid of me, So thank you, Robert. Anyway, 0:49:55.680 --> 0:49:58.080 don't never forget to live live your life, either reasonable 0:49:58.320 --> 0:50:13.040 or shady, or about fine fine. Reasonably Shady is a 0:50:13.080 --> 0:50:17.440 production of the Black Affect podcast Network. For more podcasts 0:50:17.440 --> 0:50:20.200 from I Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, 0:50:20.360 --> 0:50:23.400 Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows, 0:50:23.800 --> 0:50:26.759 and you can connect with us on social media at 0:50:26.920 --> 0:50:37.120 Robin Dixon, ten Gazelle, Briant, and Reasonably Shady.