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Speaker 1: Welcome to Reasonably Shady, a production of the Black Effect

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Speaker 1: Podcast Network and I Heart Radio. Welcome to Reasonably Shady.

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Speaker 1: I am Gazelle Bryant. What's up? What's up everyone? This

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Speaker 1: is Robin Dixon. Thank you once again for being here. Yes,

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Speaker 1: we are still rocking and rolling. I know, I know.

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Speaker 1: And I just told Robin I would never get sick

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Speaker 1: of her, and she just informed me she can't say

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Speaker 1: the same. I just saidn't mind, just have to put

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Speaker 1: her like on mute or pause. I mean, how rude

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Speaker 1: is that? I know? I mean, because she's just sometimes

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Speaker 1: it's a lot. I can't. I can't be a lot sometimes.

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Speaker 1: I understand that. And Robin gets a lot of me. Okay,

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Speaker 1: she really really does. Even my kids be like my

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Speaker 1: team too much from you anyway, moving on, UM, we

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Speaker 1: would like to talk about our reasonably Shady moment of

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Speaker 1: the week. Do you have one? Yeah? Okay, okay, you

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Speaker 1: go for um okay, So this is gonna be a

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Speaker 1: little tam I for the squeamish guys out here. You

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Speaker 1: know where this is going. You know, my little friend,

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Speaker 1: my period came and um, my shady moment goes to

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Speaker 1: the tampon shortage that's going on in in this world? Like

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Speaker 1: when you started, I did not know you were going there.

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Speaker 1: There is a tampon shortage, is there really? Literally? Yes?

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Speaker 1: Like okay, you can go in and get like the

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Speaker 1: light and the regular, No, bitch, I need the ultras

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Speaker 1: like I need like heavy duty. Yes, I need super

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Speaker 1: Plus and Ultra and you cannot find them anywhere. Like

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Speaker 1: next next time you go on the store, look at

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Speaker 1: the shelves. They're bare, like the tampon Maxi pat shouts,

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Speaker 1: they are so bare. There in my gym. There's plethora

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Speaker 1: in my gym, but I don't want those. Those are

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Speaker 1: probably like regularly and they don't help me. Yes, So

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Speaker 1: so yeah, I'm over here like hoping that I'm not

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Speaker 1: walking around with some um with a leakage. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to see any leakage either. So you need

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Speaker 1: you need an Ultra? What do we have now regular?

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Speaker 1: Right now? I was. I was able to, you know,

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Speaker 1: scrounge up some superpluses, but I had to double it

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Speaker 1: up with a Maxi pad just to like I never

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Speaker 1: have to wear pads, but like I had to like

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Speaker 1: put a pad on it. Okay, sorry guys, seeing too

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Speaker 1: much for the guys. But yeah, but um, but seriously,

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Speaker 1: they'n I go on Amazon to buy my ultra tampons. Nope?

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Speaker 1: Really nope. Wow, yeah, there's a tampon shortage. There's a

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Speaker 1: there's a and I heard that there was like a

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Speaker 1: peanut butter shortage. Is that true? Really? Maybe I made

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Speaker 1: that up? I made that up. Okay, there was a

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Speaker 1: shortage of something that I needed and I can't remember

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Speaker 1: what it was. I'm gonna remember in like twenty minutes.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, let me give you my reasonably shady moment

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Speaker 1: other week. So one is tampons, the other is we're

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Speaker 1: back to talking about my trainer. Okay, his name is Tyrone.

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Speaker 1: So Tyrone has informed me that, you know, my moments

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Speaker 1: with him in the gym are just moments. But what

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Speaker 1: he really wants me to do is adopt a lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, of course, otherwise you're wasting your time, right,

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Speaker 1: And so he has gotten me to eat salads, that's

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Speaker 1: his what he wants me to do, like eat a

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Speaker 1: salad every goddamn day with protein in it. Not necessarily

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Speaker 1: he wants he's looking more for vegetables to be in

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Speaker 1: my system. Okay, so you know, if you start eating

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Speaker 1: salads all the time, you just want something else to eat?

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Speaker 1: Is it's s boring? Yes, So I have decided, and

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to tell Tyrone. So y'all don't tell

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Speaker 1: him either. By the way, Tyrone is the shady moment.

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Speaker 1: Tyrone is probably listening to Tyrone better not be listening

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Speaker 1: to this part, because what I have to say is fine,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna eat my damn salads and cookies, and I

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Speaker 1: have decided my new drink is nineteen forty two. So

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Speaker 1: that is my diet salads, cookies, and nineteen forty two.

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Speaker 1: So you know at this point, you're just wasting your

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Speaker 1: money with Tyrone, right right? You know Tyrone is good

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Speaker 1: for me, Yeah, but if you're going to eat cookies

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Speaker 1: and drink, yeah, you're wasting your time. So from what

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Speaker 1: I understand. From what I understand, nineteen forty two isn't

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Speaker 1: a cove. I've done my research or basically somebody told

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Speaker 1: me this, and it metabolizes in your system very differently

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Speaker 1: than like a vodka or a wine or a gin. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so it's it's basically no sugar in your body. That's

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Speaker 1: how I metabolizes. Are you sure about that. No, it

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Speaker 1: just makes you drunk, that's all. And you know sometimes

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Speaker 1: you like to be drawn a little drunk, and drunk

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Speaker 1: is good. Yes, So that's where I am. Tyrone, suck it, Okay,

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Speaker 1: get over it the end. Luck with that special diet.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Okay, So we have we have some

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Speaker 1: things to go over. Okay, first and foremost, they are

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Speaker 1: canceling all of our black shows out here in the streets.

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Speaker 1: I know, and I don't think I like it. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I was actually quite so. Okay, there was there's a rumor,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's confirmed or not at this time,

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Speaker 1: um that The Real has been canceled or it's not

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Speaker 1: being renewed, which really really that that kind of like

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Speaker 1: bothered me and hurt me because I actually enjoy watching

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Speaker 1: The Real. Absolutely. Those girls are fire and they're all

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Speaker 1: very opinionated, and they're smart, and I just you know,

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Speaker 1: you like to watch something and you feel like you

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Speaker 1: could be sitting in a room with them and have

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Speaker 1: fun with them exactly, and and they have a great dynamic.

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Speaker 1: And so when there was a report that they were canceled,

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Speaker 1: and then Lonnie Love said something where you know, hold

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Speaker 1: hold your horses, not so fast, you know. There. They

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Speaker 1: haven't anything yet, so I'm not quite sure where they

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Speaker 1: are with it, but I'm hoping that they're not canceled

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Speaker 1: because I think they are a great show. Um, and

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Speaker 1: I'm hoping they figure out how to make it work. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and we we were on there, yes, and I and

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Speaker 1: and I'm not even saying it's just because we were

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Speaker 1: on there. Like I've I watched The Real, you know, religiously.

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Speaker 1: If I'm at home and it's twelve o'clock, the Real

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Speaker 1: is on my TV. So I'm hoping that they can

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Speaker 1: find and make it work and keep the ladies on

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Speaker 1: on because I don't know, I mean, I just when

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Speaker 1: I think about daytime or you know, the TV in

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Speaker 1: the morning, morning TV, daytime TV. Um, I feel like

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Speaker 1: they represent us the most for sure. I love you know,

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Speaker 1: people had commentary about Garcel being added to the group,

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Speaker 1: but I thought she has brought like a great mixed

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Speaker 1: to them. Um. I love some Adrian Bellion. Is that

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Speaker 1: how you say her last name? By Alon? Bylon Bellion? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I love Adrian and Jennie. You know, we've seen Jennie

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Speaker 1: say she'd never get married again. To get married, I

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Speaker 1: don't want any kids. So now she has a child,

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Speaker 1: like we've seen the growth of Jane. Yeah, absolutely, yes, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: so you know, so we we are asking the reel

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Speaker 1: to remain on. I don't know if that's going to help.

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Speaker 1: But also Nick Cannon, sir, he didn't last long out

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Speaker 1: here in the streets. He did it, and I thought

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Speaker 1: he was gonna I really thought that he was at

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Speaker 1: least going to make it past one season because I

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Speaker 1: actually I don't watch his show all the time, but

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Speaker 1: I find it to be lighthearted. Yes, and you know

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Speaker 1: when I do watch it, I enjoy it. But you know,

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Speaker 1: I think it's just rough out of here to make

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Speaker 1: these daytime talk shows. Yes, I think it. You know,

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Speaker 1: they're looking for a certain number as it relates to ratings.

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Speaker 1: It's all ratings driven. Um. I do think Nick's pants

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Speaker 1: might have been a little too tight. He just was

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Speaker 1: you know, when he was sitting down, he was always

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Speaker 1: standing up. Then he was sitting down standing. No his fans. Now,

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Speaker 1: I like Nick, and to be honest with you, I

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Speaker 1: was feeling like, you know, his hope. Remember he had

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Speaker 1: like a panel of men. That's something that we don't

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Speaker 1: see on television, especially like daytime television men, a bunch

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Speaker 1: of men giving their opinion on things. I enjoyed that.

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Speaker 1: So I wonder if the men aren't really driving things,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because if you think about it,

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Speaker 1: there really aren't what other male talk shows are there

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Speaker 1: out there right now, like none, none really, So it's

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Speaker 1: like maybe the men just don't drive the day time

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Speaker 1: TV stuff. And so maybe they thought Nick was going

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Speaker 1: to bring enough of like the female audience, um, which

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Speaker 1: I think he does, but um, I was, you know,

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Speaker 1: disappointed to hear that for him. But you know, he's

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Speaker 1: going to be okay because we know that he has

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Speaker 1: so many different you know, businesses and things that he

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Speaker 1: has going on and jobs, and so he's fine. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna tell you to see him on our TV. Nick's

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Speaker 1: show was his side hustle. Right, He's probably relieved, you

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Speaker 1: know what. They might have canceled it because he was

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Speaker 1: probably like, I'm bad it is. Let me let me

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Speaker 1: do something else. Let me let's not feel sorry for

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Speaker 1: Nick Cannon because he no, no, we're not feeling, not

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Speaker 1: feeling wants a better thing. Okay. So, Robin, I think

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Speaker 1: Apple or somebody just dropped Apple just dropped a bunch

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Speaker 1: of new emojis. Oh, I know, have you seen them?

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Speaker 1: So I have. I haven't seen all of them, but

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm enjoying the ones that I've seen. Okay, first

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Speaker 1: and foremost, do you like emojis? Because emojis have been

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Speaker 1: around forever and people some people use them all the time,

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Speaker 1: so people don't use them right, So I remember when

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Speaker 1: they kind of like first came out, I was like,

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Speaker 1: what the hell is it? Like I was confused, like

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Speaker 1: what is this? And why? You know, it's just like

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Speaker 1: why do we need this? But now it's like, yes,

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Speaker 1: I definitely text with emojis. Um, you know, I'm not.

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Speaker 1: I don't like overdo it, but you know, and then

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Speaker 1: of course you have like your your go to one. Yes, Um,

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Speaker 1: I like the ones holding you're looking at something. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm like that, I pulled it up but y'all can't

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Speaker 1: see it. But but we will describe to you the

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Speaker 1: emojis that we like kind of love. I like the

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Speaker 1: ones with the finger pointing at you, Like, I think

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Speaker 1: that's kind of like a three When when would you

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Speaker 1: use that? Like what what would be? What would you

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Speaker 1: be saying? Like not it? Like you know what I'm

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Speaker 1: saying like you're it. Yeah, okay, I like that, Like

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Speaker 1: who's who's going to go to the grocery store? You okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling that. By the way, you know, we we

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Speaker 1: are Potoma Girls and our emoji is the it's like

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Speaker 1: a pink it looks like a cherry blossom flower. So

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Speaker 1: that's like quintessential to the Real Housewives of Tone. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: definitely use that, so we use that. I like the one, Um,

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Speaker 1: it's like the face. It's a face, he's covering the face,

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Speaker 1: but like what look peeking through with the you know,

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Speaker 1: peeking through like a peek a boo eye, like a

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Speaker 1: pickle boo eye. Yeah. I like that, And that's kind

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Speaker 1: of like, you know, like watching a train wreck type thing.

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, you're watching the train Wreck.

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Speaker 1: I like, Um, okay, there's some that's like a white

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Speaker 1: hand and a black hand and they're shaking hands. I

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Speaker 1: don't know when I would use that. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: feel like that requires too much thought, Like you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like, so you would use that when

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Speaker 1: you're talking to a white person and you're happy about

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Speaker 1: what they said, and you would then I guess I'm

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Speaker 1: coming I guess it's okay, Like if you're like, all right,

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Speaker 1: so if you had a friend, and if you had

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Speaker 1: a white friend, and y'all were making plans on where

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Speaker 1: to eat for dinner, and then y'all y'all come to

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Speaker 1: your yes deal, right, so you're like, all right, deal.

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Speaker 1: So then you got your shaking hands with your light

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Speaker 1: skin hands and her and her white hand. Do they

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Speaker 1: have a light skin hand in the white hand? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: They do. There you go like this one, this would

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Speaker 1: be good, okay. And then there's a bunch of it's

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Speaker 1: like so many, so many, And then there's I guess

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Speaker 1: because of little nas X, there's a bunch of men

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Speaker 1: that are pregnant, pregnant man, pregnant man. Very interesting. Um,

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Speaker 1: and I'm trying to figure out when when would you

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Speaker 1: send that one? I don't, I don't know, okay, alright,

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Speaker 1: moving on, I do like, okay, so there's there's three

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Speaker 1: kidney beans. What is that for? That are together? Can

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Speaker 1: be used for several different things, really, like you can

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Speaker 1: send it to a guy and be like, so does

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Speaker 1: this look familiar? Like if you haven't had sex with

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Speaker 1: him and you want to know if his stuff is

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Speaker 1: the size of a kidney beans, so would send it

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Speaker 1: to him and you would know an advance. Really he's

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Speaker 1: gonna be like, yes, that would just like me. No,

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Speaker 1: he should send you back an eggplan and that would

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Speaker 1: be like, Okay, this is gonna be it's gonna be good.

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Speaker 1: But if he's like, yeah, I like kidney beans, you

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Speaker 1: know it's gonna be. There any other reason we need

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Speaker 1: the kidney beans. No, there's no other reason. Um, there's

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Speaker 1: there's someone were so random, like the slide like this,

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Speaker 1: like the ladder with the like a sliding board going

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Speaker 1: into the pool or even just a playground like makes

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Speaker 1: no sense to me. Um, the biting lip that's sexy?

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Speaker 1: Which one is? Oh this one? Yeah? Oh yeah, I

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Speaker 1: gotta send that one out. Okay, I do like because

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Speaker 1: me and so for just f y mean Grace. Like

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Speaker 1: if I see if we're at church, mean Grace and

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Speaker 1: she's like not sitting near me and I look at her,

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Speaker 1: She'll give me like half of a heart and then

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Speaker 1: I'll give her the other half. Very cute, I know.

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Speaker 1: So I like the hands, the hands that form a heart. Yes,

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Speaker 1: very cute. I'm gonna be sitting those out. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: so apple te gud so I I wish. Okay, so

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Speaker 1: for me, um, you know, I'm in a sorority. I'm

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Speaker 1: a Delta and our animal is an elephant. They don't

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Speaker 1: have elephant. They have an elephant, but the elephant, the

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Speaker 1: elephants trunk needs to be facing up like for it

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Speaker 1: to be like, we want our trunk to be up.

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Speaker 1: So I hate that I have to use this elephant

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Speaker 1: with the trunk down and curled under because we only

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Speaker 1: want the elephant trunk to be up. And I wish

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Speaker 1: I could somehow just ask them to revise it and

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Speaker 1: give me an elephant trunk facing for the for the Deltas. Yes, okay,

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Speaker 1: well I feel like i'm doing like I'm I'm violating

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Speaker 1: some sort of like sorority code when I use this

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Speaker 1: elephant of big and it's trunk is not up, so

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Speaker 1: they have no choice. Okay, but y'all have y'all also

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Speaker 1: do the pyramid? Right? Yeah? So is there like there's

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Speaker 1: a red triangle the red triangle? Okay, so I'll use

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Speaker 1: that sometimes, but I like the elephant. Okay, I'm here

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Speaker 1: for you. Now. Can we talk about Tyler the Creator? Why?

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Speaker 1: Because okay, first of all, my children, Tyler the creator.

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Speaker 1: I think is very creative. I don't know the record.

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Speaker 1: I don't have no idea who this person is. Really.

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Speaker 1: He's extremely popular with the young folks. Okay, but why, Like,

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Speaker 1: what does he do? He has music? He's yes, he's

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Speaker 1: a he's a rapper. He's got a clothing line, golf

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Speaker 1: clothing line, Jenny's, which is an ice cream store. Every

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Speaker 1: summer they give him his own flavor, okay, which you

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Speaker 1: know is small potatoes in comparison to his world. He

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Speaker 1: is best friends with Jaden Smith. Okay, not that that

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Speaker 1: matters either. I mean he's he's just a creative dude. Okay,

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Speaker 1: google him. By the way, I want to talk about him,

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Speaker 1: not because he's till of the creative, but because of

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Speaker 1: what he said, because it resonated with me. Because he's

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Speaker 1: about to go on tour. Right, So he put out

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Speaker 1: a tweet to the world and it says something like this, Yo,

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Speaker 1: if someone invites you to a show, don't effing be like,

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Speaker 1: can I get five passes? No is the answer. Okay,

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Speaker 1: come with your one guest and show some fin respect.

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Speaker 1: Don't e and ask for a family amount of tickets.

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Speaker 1: And you think this is a charity who raised you.

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Speaker 1: People know you're ef in place. You ain't special. Somebody

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Speaker 1: pissed him off, somebody made him real mad. But guess

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Speaker 1: what this I feel is an anthem. Anytime we have

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Speaker 1: a party or an event, a social gathering, there's always

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Speaker 1: that one right that brings the whole cruel crew. Leave

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Speaker 1: your crew on home. Your crew is not invited, Okay,

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Speaker 1: leave them something called home. But do you know what

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Speaker 1: closed mouths don't get fed. Right, So if the answer

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Speaker 1: is no, then fine, I would be embarrassed to even ask.

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Speaker 1: But I be like, yo, Okay, I told my friends

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Speaker 1: I was going, and now everybody want to go. You

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Speaker 1: got can? I can so and so and so and okay,

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Speaker 1: But his show is just like the callous for this conversation.

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Speaker 1: The conversation is, aren't you tired of people feeling like

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Speaker 1: they can bring Lottie Dotty and everybody. No, Lottie Dotty

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Speaker 1: and everybody first of all don't know how to act,

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Speaker 1: and not feeding them. I don't want them around. Well,

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Speaker 1: I think, okay, see that's where we differ, right, that's

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Speaker 1: where we differ. I just feel like it doesn't hurt

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Speaker 1: to ask, right number one. Number two, The more the

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Speaker 1: merrier depending on the scenario. It depends on what it is.

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Speaker 1: Like if okay, if it's a birthday dinner and I'm

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Speaker 1: paying for everyone, you know, and I bring in the

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Speaker 1: whole crew. But if it's like a birthday party and

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Speaker 1: it's you know, it's gonna be fifty people, they're already, Well,

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Speaker 1: what difference is fifty five? Mate? No? Them five need

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Speaker 1: to stay at home. And I don't like when people

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Speaker 1: feel like I don't know your friends and just because

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Speaker 1: your friends are friends with you does not mean their

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Speaker 1: friends with me. Well, right, I mean that's true. It's

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Speaker 1: just I mean, I feel like it's it just depends

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Speaker 1: on the scenario. It doesn't hurt to ask, So like

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Speaker 1: if he says no, then okay, all right, I'm coming

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Speaker 1: by myself right now, I'm coming, right, Yes, I'm coming.

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Speaker 1: But how many? But I've I've been. There's been so

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Speaker 1: many scenarios in which I could have been, like, yo,

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Speaker 1: can I bring three more people or five more people

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Speaker 1: or eight more people? I would never do that, I mean, right,

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Speaker 1: And who wants to roll that deep? Anyway? Yes? And

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Speaker 1: if you got to be a response, and then y'all

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Speaker 1: have to coordinate, y'all got to wear matching socks. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's just gets to be too much. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I mean, I personally just don't want to

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Speaker 1: roll that deep because that's just it's just too much.

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Speaker 1: Like yeah, pick your one or two. I mean some

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Speaker 1: times you might want to bring it a second person, right,

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Speaker 1: you know, no, not really just one. No, like we okay,

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Speaker 1: for instance, like me and Robin we roll deep, we

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Speaker 1: gotta squeeze Carly and sometimes and you know, sometimes we

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Speaker 1: don't want to, like, well, we gotta squeeze her in.

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Speaker 1: So it's like I guess we we are at fault too.

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Speaker 1: There you go, there you go. We gotta you know,

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Speaker 1: we ain't hurt no body. No, we didn't, but you know,

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Speaker 1: cheeze Louise. But somebody pissed them off right before then.

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Speaker 1: But you know what, it's funny. It reminds me of

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Speaker 1: like when Sean was playing in the n b A

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Speaker 1: and you know, people would be like, hey, can I

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Speaker 1: get tickets? And I'm like, uh, the box office is

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Speaker 1: not closed, right, the box office is open opens that eight.

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Speaker 1: You're a ticket, go by it. It's just like it

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Speaker 1: would it would just be like I don't know, I

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Speaker 1: mean certain scenarios, yeah, because maybe they're sold out and

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Speaker 1: you know, you only have you know, all the players

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Speaker 1: get their four tickets, so it doesn't hurt to ask.

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Speaker 1: But then sometimes it's just like when you know the

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Speaker 1: games aren't sold out, you know what I mean, when

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Speaker 1: it's like okay, and and if it's like a whole

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Speaker 1: bunch of people trying to come, somebody needs are just yes.

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Speaker 1: Now I can't say that I have done this speaking

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Speaker 1: of tickets. Um for instance, like Erica's has been Kevin,

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Speaker 1: he has access to tickets. So I'll say, look, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna pay for my tickets, but I just wanted two

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Speaker 1: good seats right at your price? Right? Yeah? Well no, no,

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Speaker 1: well yeah, but I mean I don't I don't. I

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Speaker 1: don't mind spending my money, but I would never be like, yo,

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Speaker 1: you know my people want to roll through. Well yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: not cool. Okay, this this is this is kind of

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Speaker 1: off topic really quickly, but I want to read this

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Speaker 1: because it's kind of actually happened to me. So a

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago, we Um talked about people and

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Speaker 1: how they knew that the person that they were dealing

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Speaker 1: with was not the one. Okay, So this one one woman,

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Speaker 1: Megan Thomas, she wrote in and she said he was

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Speaker 1: gone one weekend for a quote family reunion. Then he

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Speaker 1: came back and told me so nonchalantly that he got

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Speaker 1: engaged and wanted to show me the damn ring. Why

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Speaker 1: so your boo goes away for our family reunion, he

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Speaker 1: comes back and he's engaged. What Okay, there's like a

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Speaker 1: whole big part of this story that we're missing. That's

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Speaker 1: all she gave us. That's all she gave us. But

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Speaker 1: I can say that Gizelle was dating this dude casually,

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Speaker 1: right casually, And let's say I was. I was with

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Speaker 1: him on a particular weekend. Ten days later he was

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Speaker 1: engaged really to someone else. He told you this when

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Speaker 1: you found out, like through the news or something. I

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Speaker 1: found announcement. I found out, but it wasn't I wasn't mad,

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Speaker 1: Like I mean, I would have never married this dude.

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Speaker 1: Like we were just kicking it. But like he could

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Speaker 1: have said something right, But at that so at the

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Speaker 1: time your cash really dating him, you had no clue

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Speaker 1: that that was that he was even in a relationship. No, wow,

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Speaker 1: I knew that. The So the girl that he ended

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Speaker 1: up marrying I knew that they had dated prior, like

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Speaker 1: a long time ago. I didn't know they're back together

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Speaker 1: and he Ba hall Ring, Oh my god, crazy. Did

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Speaker 1: you talk to him after you found out? I did

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Speaker 1: with I mean, I wished him well. I was like congratulations.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even it was all it's like nothing at

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Speaker 1: no point and even like getting mad, because I wasn't

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Speaker 1: even mad. The only part that I was kind of

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Speaker 1: like whoa. It was like you, I was just what

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Speaker 1: you do? You could have told me this, but then

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Speaker 1: maybe maybe you were like the last hurrah, I think so,

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00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 1: which has happened to me four times? Okay, by the way, okay,

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00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,959
Speaker 1: there's four dudes that came back around like, yo, I'm

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Speaker 1: about to get married, and I was just wonder if

404
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 1: we could, like, you know, spend some time together before

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Speaker 1: I get married. I promise you four times about to

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Speaker 1: get married, not about to get engaged, about to get married,

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Speaker 1: like the wedding was like you know, the next weekend,

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Speaker 1: and what was your answer? I I cannot tell that

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Speaker 1: on this podcast because it depends on how it was

410
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,879
Speaker 1: when we would have got you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: you know, it depends on if it was an eggplant

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Speaker 1: or Okay, So that means the answer was not no.

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying, but guess what I think, get married,

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Speaker 1: you off limits. I say you are single until you

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Speaker 1: get married. Okay, anyway, moving on to you. Don't you

416
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Speaker 1: don't feel bad about being like somebody's like scraps? Well no,

417
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Speaker 1: because I look at it like maybe I wanted to

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Speaker 1: see you one more time before or off the market. Yes,

419
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,440
Speaker 1: and I really wasn't was our side piece at the time.

420
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 1: I guess for that night. Maybe. Okay, we're changing the subject.

421
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,359
Speaker 1: This is terrible. This is back in my twenties. Okay, okay, fine,

422
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:51,120
Speaker 1: it was last week anyway, going on so weeks ago,

423
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:55,480
Speaker 1: we talked about um, God bless her soul, Chestlee Chris,

424
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:01,440
Speaker 1: who committed suicide. She's just abuse beautiful specimen, a beautiful

425
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:05,679
Speaker 1: human being. Everything that we saw publicly right just she

426
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 1: was like a court Um, what do you call those people?

427
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 1: Queen responded, she was a correspondent, she was she was

428
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 1: a pageant queen, and she just seemed like like so lighthearted, beautiful,

429
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 1: beautiful spirit, always positive, and then she committed suicide. So

430
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 1: we were asking you guys to give us your stories

431
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:30,200
Speaker 1: and your thoughts on depression and maybe even give us

432
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 1: some tools that we can help provide so that this

433
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 1: does not happen again. And and I want to forewarn

434
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 1: I guess this is a trigger warning for some. So

435
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:43,400
Speaker 1: if this is a topic that you know is very

436
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,960
Speaker 1: delicate for you, this is a trigger warning, and you

437
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 1: can turn off. But I hope everyone listens, and um,

438
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 1: here's listens to people's stories and listens to ways to

439
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:57,679
Speaker 1: be supportive of others who are who are in this

440
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 1: situation and how to overcome. I'm not going to give

441
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 1: the person I'm gonna read a story. I'm not gonna

442
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:07,320
Speaker 1: give the person's name just for her anonymity, but she says, Hi,

443
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 1: Robin and Giselle, I wanted to share my depression story

444
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 1: that almost led to suicide. I had severe depression as

445
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 1: a team due to bullying both at school and at home.

446
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 1: I felt like there was no release or safe space,

447
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 1: and having no release, I began cutting. I tried to

448
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,880
Speaker 1: find a release in writing poetry, but my mother took

449
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 1: that and used it against me with my therapist and

450
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: repeatedly told me I was crazy. Then I began cutting

451
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 1: deeper and more frequently, and ultimately decided there was no

452
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 1: way out, so I cut my face, my wrists, and stomach,

453
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 1: and then locked myself in the bathroom, hoping I could

454
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 1: die in peace. Thankfully, thankfully, my mother found me passed out,

455
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 1: and I was taken to the emergency room and did

456
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 1: a two week stint in the psych ward. During this time,

457
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,879
Speaker 1: all I was looking for was someone to love me,

458
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 1: someone to tell me just because was different or bigger,

459
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 1: that I wasn't fat, I wasn't ugly. I was exactly

460
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:09,200
Speaker 1: as God intended me to be. When you're depressed, reassurance

461
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 1: and praise go a long way. Oftentimes, depressed people don't

462
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 1: want to talk about what they are going through because

463
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 1: they don't want to burden others. I felt that exact way,

464
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 1: and I still do, and I'm thankful that I was

465
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,639
Speaker 1: able to grow past oppression and get to a place

466
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,879
Speaker 1: where I truly believe I am awesome. And then she

467
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,119
Speaker 1: says that she thinks that it's great that Rob and

468
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 1: I are using our platform to talk about this. Um,

469
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 1: this is actually a great story because she got to

470
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 1: the other side right and um, you know, it sounds

471
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:47,199
Speaker 1: like in her story she didn't have the support. You know,

472
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 1: she mentioned her mother, she didn't really have she wasn't

473
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 1: getting the love that she needed maybe from her mother,

474
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 1: or her mother wasn't taking her needs seriously. And we're

475
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:58,639
Speaker 1: no expert here and now you know, so we're just

476
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:04,680
Speaker 1: trying to talk through. But UM, I just think anyone

477
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 1: just sharing, just giving love to anyone around you is

478
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 1: so important. And I think people don't realize how important

479
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 1: it is for people to feel loved and to feel

480
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,639
Speaker 1: acknowledged and listen and heard and recognized. And so you know,

481
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,160
Speaker 1: just as you are in your daily lives with your

482
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 1: family and your friends, UM, make sure the people are

483
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 1: around you who spend their time with you know that

484
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 1: you love them and that you care for them. UM.

485
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 1: And you just never know how how much of a

486
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,160
Speaker 1: world of a difference you can make for them. UM.

487
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 1: I want to offer some resources as we read these, UM,

488
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:42,640
Speaker 1: just for people to look up. UM website this the

489
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: American Association of Suicideology that's www Dot suicide Alogy dot org.

490
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:54,199
Speaker 1: The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention that's www Dot a

491
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 1: f SP dot org. UM, and we're going to read

492
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: another one and offer some more resources. UM. Hey, Robin

493
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 1: and Gisel. First off, I want to say, I love

494
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:06,879
Speaker 1: your podcast and I love the two of you. You

495
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 1: guys are such a beautiful example of female friendship and

496
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 1: it's so freaking refreshing. I feel like I'm hanging out

497
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 1: with my girlfriends when I listen to your show. Thanks

498
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:19,199
Speaker 1: for being hilarious and inspiring. Um, thank you for that.

499
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 1: On a more serious note, I wanted to reply to

500
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 1: your question in the last episode regarding depression, suicide, and

501
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 1: self harm. I've struggled with depression for about twelve years now,

502
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,600
Speaker 1: been on antidepressants for most of that time, and although

503
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 1: I'm happy to say that I'm doing very well most

504
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 1: of the time, I still get hit with bouts of

505
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 1: it now and again. My grandfather committed suicide before I

506
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: was born, so it's always been something my family has

507
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 1: discussed openly, which I really appreciate. I learned from a

508
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,119
Speaker 1: young age that people who commit suicide are not bad

509
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:50,400
Speaker 1: people or have something to hide. They are just hurting

510
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 1: and tired. I've never attempted suicide, thankfully, but I've definitely

511
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 1: gone through times where I considered it. On those days,

512
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,919
Speaker 1: the world feel so dark. It's like a cloud that

513
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 1: hangs over you that you can't see your way through,

514
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 1: no matter what anyone else says, no matter what you

515
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 1: know to be true. For me, it's like the hurt

516
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 1: and darkness is so deep that you just wanted to end,

517
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 1: Like you've just got to escape it, and you can't

518
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 1: see any other way. When I was younger, I used

519
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,399
Speaker 1: to deal with that pain by cutting. Somehow it felt

520
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 1: like I could transfer the emotional pain into physical pain,

521
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 1: and that was somehow easier to bear. But I'm happy

522
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,160
Speaker 1: to say that I haven't cut one single time since

523
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: two thousand eighteen. The letter goes on, but I wanted

524
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 1: to pause and say, I think this is so important

525
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 1: to hear um someone actually describing you know, what is

526
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 1: going through their their mind or their thought process when

527
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 1: they are considering suicide. UM. And just know, you know

528
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 1: if you get to these places where it's dark and

529
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: that you feel like a cloud is hanging over over you,

530
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: that you can get through to it. UM. I want

531
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 1: to continue with the letter. For me, the most importive

532
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 1: thing that the people around me can do is to

533
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 1: not judge and not and to not act scared of me.

534
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 1: If I tell a friend that I've been struggling or

535
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,400
Speaker 1: had suicidal thoughts, It's important that they stay calm and

536
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: talk it through with me. If they start hyperventilating and

537
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 1: freaking out all over the place, I'm just not going

538
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 1: to share it with them. In the situation will get worse.

539
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 1: On the other hand, if a friend treats me like

540
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 1: when I'm a normal human being who's having a hard time,

541
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 1: I'll be much more apt to open up and actually

542
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 1: be able to see away through that dark cloud. I

543
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 1: also think it's really important that we don't judge people

544
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 1: for taking medication that helps them stay balanced. The world

545
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: is getting better about this, but I still get jabbed

546
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 1: sometimes from friends saying things like, oh, I would never

547
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 1: take pills, as though doing so somehow makes me lesser.

548
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 1: It's basically saying I didn't try hard enough, which is

549
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 1: a pretty shitty thing to say to a friend, even

550
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,640
Speaker 1: if they mean well. I'm also a huge fan of therapy,

551
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 1: a yoga teacher, and I've tried every meditation practice under

552
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 1: the sun, but those things alone weren't enough in my case.

553
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just need medications anyway. Thank you for reading

554
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 1: this novel of an answer. Thank you for using your

555
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 1: platform to talk about these kinds of issues and help

556
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 1: bring more understanding to people. It can be an uncomfortable

557
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 1: topics are really come into both of you for taking on.

558
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 1: Thanks for all you do. Yeah, I And we've talked

559
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 1: about therapy on this show before and how important it

560
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 1: is and how I'm happy that, Like now, I feel

561
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 1: like culture and society has gotten to a place where

562
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 1: it's not like a bad word, and it's not looked

563
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 1: upon as like something that is not common. It's very common.

564
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 1: The more people I talked to, the more people I meet,

565
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: the more people I know are in therapy. Yeah. Yeah,

566
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 1: you know, it's so funny. I was. I was out

567
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 1: to dinner the other day with um. It might have

568
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 1: been seven of us at the table. Carly, So you

569
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 1: and Carl went out and didn't invite me. It was

570
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 1: like five other people there, and well, if we invited

571
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: you and they would have been looking at us like

572
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: how you want to invite another perfect thing? I could

573
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 1: have been a plus one. Okay, okay, but anyway, Yes,

574
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 1: So Carly and I went to school together, so we

575
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 1: were there with our our friends from Maryland, our girlfriends

576
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 1: from Maryland. So as we're like talking, everyone is going

577
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 1: around the table talking about Well, when I talked to

578
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,000
Speaker 1: my therapist and when I really therapist. And I talked

579
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 1: to my therapist and I literally asked the question, I'm like,

580
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,479
Speaker 1: so everybody here goes to therapy, and you were like,

581
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 1: but I'm not a therapy, maybe I should be a therapy.

582
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 1: It was like me and one other person and we

583
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 1: were both like, soy in there. But but especially from

584
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:43,080
Speaker 1: everybody's says that's true, that's true. Yeah, So so it's

585
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 1: really cool. I mean, I I do feel like the

586
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 1: stigma of going to therapy and taking medication and all

587
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 1: of that is slowly getting lifted. And you know, I

588
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 1: think and I think it's just good to hear from

589
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 1: um the recent letter I just read, like, you know,

590
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 1: if someone expresses whatever it is that they're going to

591
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 1: that as a friend, you just be a listening ear.

592
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 1: Just don't judge, don't overreact, don't make it seem you know,

593
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 1: you know, if you hear a friend of suicidal, you

594
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 1: might want to panic, right, and but you got to

595
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,080
Speaker 1: figure out how to make how to not make the

596
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 1: situation worse for them. And I have to say that

597
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 1: I personally had to work on that. Like I would

598
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 1: hear my girlfriend's problems, would hear how they're feeling and

599
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 1: would be judgmental, right, and would like give a judgmental

600
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 1: response as opposed to just shutting the hell up and

601
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 1: just listening and being a friend, because you're probably coming

602
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 1: from a point of how you know what you would

603
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 1: do or how you would handle things, or you know,

604
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 1: would you even be experiencing that, versus how can I help?

605
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 1: How can I help? What can I do? And actually

606
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 1: my kids have taught me. They didn't know they taught

607
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 1: me this, but like sometimes they just want me to listen.

608
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 1: There they are venting, they're going to hell off on

609
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:05,360
Speaker 1: just like their day, what happened, how they're feeling. And

610
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 1: my kids are able to express their feelings a lot,

611
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,959
Speaker 1: whereas when I was their age, I could not express

612
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 1: my feelings. I didn't have feelings. I didn't know what

613
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 1: I still don't have feelings. But that's a whole another story.

614
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:18,120
Speaker 1: But all they want me to do, and I think

615
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 1: one of them said, Mom, we just want you to listen.

616
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: Like all they want me to do is listen and

617
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 1: not be so quick about trying to because I'm all

618
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 1: about like trying to find a solution and trying to

619
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 1: find the best way to make make things better. Um,

620
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 1: they don't. They don't. They don't. They don't want that.

621
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 1: People don't necessarily want that. They just want you to

622
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:42,239
Speaker 1: know that they are supported and that you listen and

623
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 1: that no matter what, you love them. So I've personally

624
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,480
Speaker 1: had to work on that on my side of it. Yeah,

625
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 1: that's good. And I feel like I'm the same because

626
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 1: I am. I am a very like tough, thick skinned person.

627
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: And when I do have friends that are like going

628
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 1: through stuff, you know, I kind of don't you staying like,

629
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 1: well just ignore it, just keep it moving, Like why

630
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:04,719
Speaker 1: can't you just let it go? You know? But I

631
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 1: have to say like, okay, well how can I help you,

632
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,319
Speaker 1: you know, get through this? Or um, you know what

633
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 1: can I do for you? Or you know, what do

634
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:14,719
Speaker 1: you want me to say? You know what I mean,

635
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 1: like what do you what do you want from me?

636
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 1: Do you want me to listen? Do you want me

637
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:19,879
Speaker 1: to offer you what I would do? Do you want

638
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 1: me to you know, maybe find someone for you to

639
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 1: talk to? You know? So I think sometimes I think,

640
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,720
Speaker 1: but I think it's good. That's good Robin that you're asking,

641
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:32,400
Speaker 1: You're asking them what they need um as opposed to

642
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 1: just jumping in and and and thinking that you know

643
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:39,280
Speaker 1: what they need. Yeah, because we can't assume that everyone

644
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 1: is going to handle things the same way. Um So,

645
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 1: another person emailed us UM some resources, a really good resource,

646
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 1: another resource. Her name is Mara Wheeler and Mara UM

647
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 1: I appreciate you. You know I do, because she posted

648
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,759
Speaker 1: something really nice about UM about us in the podcast.

649
00:34:55,880 --> 00:35:00,280
Speaker 1: But Mara works for a nonprofit called Minding Your Mind

650
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 1: and their website is minding your Mind dot org. Um

651
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 1: It provides mental health education and suicide prevention training in schools, communities,

652
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,799
Speaker 1: and workplaces across the country. So they have a program

653
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 1: called Changing Minds Story Over Stigma, where young adults who

654
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 1: have lived through mental health crisis share their personal stories

655
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 1: with an audience. So you can actually hear from, you know,

656
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,920
Speaker 1: people who are like um our listeners who have emailed

657
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 1: in UM and they share their stories about their mental

658
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 1: health challenges and challenges with suicide and everything. Um So,

659
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 1: the goal is to start teaching kids as young as

660
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:40,840
Speaker 1: kindergarten how to talk about their emotions and to build resilience.

661
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,240
Speaker 1: Resilience that ends the stigma around being open and honest

662
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 1: about mental health. Love that yes, so, she says, everyone

663
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,439
Speaker 1: talks about a broken bone, heart, disease, cancer, why don't

664
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:52,759
Speaker 1: they talk about other illnesses that you know, impact the

665
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:57,360
Speaker 1: brain and so important. So this is a great website

666
00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 1: to go to um and then she gives a very

667
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 1: interesting stat about suicide. She says research has shown that

668
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: of those who die from suicide have an undiagnosed or

669
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:12,800
Speaker 1: untreated mental health disorder. The CDC estimates that for every

670
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 1: completed suicide, there are twenty five attempts when someone in

671
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 1: crisis is identified and guide it to receive help. Eighty

672
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 1: two of people that seek treatment for depression are treated

673
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:33,239
Speaker 1: successfully using therapy and or medication. So teaching people how

674
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,760
Speaker 1: to talk about their feelings and mental health saves lives.

675
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 1: So that says to me, so the people are committing

676
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 1: suicide haven't even been treated for depression, so they haven't

677
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 1: even had a chance to even talk it through or

678
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:48,479
Speaker 1: to get on medication. And so you know, once again,

679
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,240
Speaker 1: it's like if you find yourself in that dark place

680
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 1: and you don't know why, and that cloud is hanging

681
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,839
Speaker 1: over you, just pause and say, let me talk to somebody,

682
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 1: because you could save your life, and you know, or

683
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,720
Speaker 1: hopefully someone can save your life by talking to you. So, yeah,

684
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:15,439
Speaker 1: that's really strong. So I want to play audio voice

685
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 1: men with that. We received on mental health really quickly,

686
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: but I think she just kind of hit the nail

687
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 1: on the head. Yes, yes, the nail on the head

688
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: at the tone. Please record your message. When you have

689
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 1: finished recording, you may hang up or press one for

690
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 1: more options. Hi Rovin, Hi Jazelle. Thank you so much

691
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:42,359
Speaker 1: for addressing this important topic on your podcast. I love

692
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 1: the show in the podcast and it definitely helped me

693
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,879
Speaker 1: to relieve a lot of stress in the past. Um,

694
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 1: so thank you again. Just as background on myself on

695
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 1: I am a wife and a mother. I was raised

696
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: by my mother, who at the time had an undiagnosed

697
00:37:57,239 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 1: mental illness, and they suffered some emotional movies there. I've

698
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 1: suffered with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager,

699
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 1: and I was diagnosed with postpartum depression right after I

700
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 1: had my son, and that's when I began taking antidepressants

701
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 1: and I've been taking them ever since. They helped me

702
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,360
Speaker 1: a lot. I know that not everyone wants to take medication,

703
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 1: but they helped me a lot. My husband has just

704
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 1: been diagnosed as bipolar. UM some things that helped me personally.

705
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 1: I can't speak for everyone is taking my medication. I

706
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 1: appreciate the reminders from my support system, including my husband,

707
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: to take my medication at the proper time and to

708
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 1: not forget it. Going to the gym and getting outside

709
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,399
Speaker 1: helps me a lot, and of course playing with my son.

710
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 1: My son inspired me to go to therapy. I've been

711
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 1: in therapy for six months, and to anyone who is

712
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,719
Speaker 1: nervous about starting medication or speaking with a doctor, I

713
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 1: would definitely suggest seeing a therapist because talking about past trauma,

714
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:57,360
Speaker 1: past issues, current issues can really help to resolve some

715
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:00,080
Speaker 1: past issues might have and also has given me a

716
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 1: lot of clarity of my current life. In the past

717
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 1: six months of going to therapy, I have learned so

718
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 1: much about myself and I've become a lot more confident

719
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: and I am less depressed um overall, so I hope

720
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:14,440
Speaker 1: this helps. Thank you again for bringing awareness to this

721
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: topic in our community. There's so much stigma and this

722
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 1: is my true passion in life, is bringing mental health

723
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 1: resources and education to those and underserved communities. Thank you again,

724
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,799
Speaker 1: have a good day. I love that. I love that

725
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 1: she you know for a couple of things. One she

726
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:35,839
Speaker 1: talked about postpartum depression, which, by the way, I feel

727
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 1: like I had after Grace and it was like confused,

728
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: like what is wrong with me? And couldn't get out

729
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 1: of it. Right. I just recently, Um, not to bring

730
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:47,239
Speaker 1: up the genders, but Kylie Jenner just said that you know,

731
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:52,400
Speaker 1: she's suffering. She's going through it way different from giving

732
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:55,240
Speaker 1: birth to her first job, right, and so that says

733
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 1: like it doesn't matter who you are, how much money

734
00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:00,080
Speaker 1: you have, where you come from, like the depression and

735
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:04,320
Speaker 1: does not escape people. And she she talked about the

736
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 1: gym like that's actually the thing that I feel like

737
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 1: helps me so much is the jam just like sometimes

738
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 1: you just have to get out of your your headspace, yeah,

739
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 1: to just release it, Yeah, and do whatever it is

740
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: that that you know helps you to release that. I

741
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,800
Speaker 1: think it was great just to hear put like a voice,

742
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 1: so you know, it's great to read the emails, but

743
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,880
Speaker 1: to like actually hear her voice. You can hear the

744
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 1: vulnerability in her voice and hopefully for people listening it,

745
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 1: you know, resonated with somebody. Just anything that we've said, Um,

746
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 1: we're not experts here, We're just trying to you know,

747
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 1: have a conversation and hopefully we've enlightened somebody and whether

748
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 1: it's someone that is struggling or someone that is going

749
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 1: is supportive of somebody that's struggling. But um, you know,

750
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 1: let's just just try to be a little more gentler

751
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:54,360
Speaker 1: with each other. Now. I know you have eight tips,

752
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:59,719
Speaker 1: eight tips out here in these streets to boost self confidence. Yes,

753
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 1: so we're gonna end on a on a motivational, yes,

754
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 1: positive note. I came across this really great um Instagram

755
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 1: page that offers all these types of like just great

756
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 1: motivational thing, so I'll be sharing more. We I think

757
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,560
Speaker 1: we always leave on a positive note. You think so,

758
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:19,719
Speaker 1: I think so. I mean we try to, like you know,

759
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 1: I'm sure most of the time we're laughing and joking

760
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 1: about something, right, Yes, alright, So I have eight easy

761
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:33,759
Speaker 1: tricks to boost your confidence. One walk faster, throw your

762
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:37,240
Speaker 1: shoulders back, lift up your head, move ahead a little faster,

763
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 1: and feel that self confidence grow. I think that's how

764
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 1: I walk right now. Yeah you do? Okay, alright, So

765
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:51,359
Speaker 1: walk like Gisel. Yes, talk slowly. People who feel they

766
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:55,240
Speaker 1: aren't worthy of being listened to tend to talk quickly.

767
00:41:55,920 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 1: So ensure that you aren't rushing. Okay. Now there's talking slowly,

768
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 1: and then it's talking like my dad. Okay, my dad

769
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 1: very slows, I mean gall So how are the girls? Okay?

770
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 1: That drives me inside. No, I know, and I feel

771
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 1: like that's how my parents are too. My mother takes

772
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,959
Speaker 1: forever to tell a story, like she has to tell you.

773
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 1: So if the story is about the grocery store, like okay,

774
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 1: I went to the grocery store and I bought grapes,

775
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 1: she has to tell you that she first stopped at

776
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,840
Speaker 1: the red light and there was a homeless man and

777
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: she gave him two dollars, and then, you know, and

778
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 1: then she drove, you know, two blocks down the street

779
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:42,799
Speaker 1: and she saw a woman with a cute dress on.

780
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:44,880
Speaker 1: You know, Like she has to tell you, like the

781
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:48,399
Speaker 1: whole story, every little detail. And then I'm like, oh

782
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,720
Speaker 1: my god, get to the point to the point where

783
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:55,479
Speaker 1: I feel like I communicate. I get for the most part,

784
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 1: get like straight to the point. It's no like fluff.

785
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,879
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, this is it? By what else?

786
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 1: You like? I don't. I don't. I don't elaborate a

787
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 1: ton on my stories that you use no adjectives, right, Okay,

788
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:12,879
Speaker 1: you straight to the point. Yeah, because my mom. Because

789
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:14,279
Speaker 1: I sit there and listen to my mom and I'm like,

790
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 1: this cannot be Okay, it just can't. Okay, So talk slow,

791
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 1: but not that slow exactly, all right. Three Accomplish small goals.

792
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:28,720
Speaker 1: Try making your bed in the morning. You will feel

793
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 1: accomplished and that will pave the way for achieving bigger goals.

794
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:34,720
Speaker 1: So whether it's you know, making your bed or making

795
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:38,760
Speaker 1: breakfast or you know, just something that you don't normally do. Um,

796
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,239
Speaker 1: but just you know, instead of saying, oh my god,

797
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:44,239
Speaker 1: I got a solve world peace or whatever, like, you know,

798
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 1: it's fine to have little small goals and feel that

799
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:50,240
Speaker 1: you accomplish something. And that goes also for like starting

800
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 1: a business. Don't try to start the business all in

801
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:56,040
Speaker 1: one day. It's baby steps, okay. Yes, And my advice

802
00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:59,359
Speaker 1: I always give this advice to business owners, like, don't

803
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:02,320
Speaker 1: expect to two tho dollars in your first day or

804
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:04,720
Speaker 1: in your first month. Just be happy with two hundred

805
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 1: dollars in your first month and then make your next

806
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 1: goal to be you know, so set small goals that

807
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:15,880
Speaker 1: you know can that you can feel accomplished by. Okay. Um.

808
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:20,280
Speaker 1: Number four dressed nicely. Yes, this may come across as cliche,

809
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,319
Speaker 1: but when you dressed nicely, you will most likely feel

810
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 1: more confident. Yes, and ladies put some lip gloss on

811
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:29,839
Speaker 1: and you know, and I hate to say it because

812
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 1: they hate them. But wearing heels, oh my god, that

813
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 1: definitely does something. You can't tell me a thing. I

814
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 1: got some heels on, something, my little strappy time forwards.

815
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 1: You can't tell me nothing. But I hate wearing him.

816
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 1: I know it's a situation. I digress really quickly. I

817
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:46,840
Speaker 1: had on some heels is when I was in Miami

818
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago. I had drinks too much, but

819
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 1: I could walk to the bathroom with those heels on.

820
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:56,400
Speaker 1: And I, for the life of me, was asking God

821
00:44:56,719 --> 00:45:00,839
Speaker 1: why he did that to us? I was like, why

822
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 1: did you do this to the to the ways, Hey,

823
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 1: why do we have to do that? Yeah, and it's

824
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 1: so crazy. I feel like as I get older, if

825
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:11,480
Speaker 1: I drink anything, oh it's over, my feet are swelling

826
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 1: up like instantly. Yeah, and you can't walk, But anyway,

827
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 1: you take forever to get through these things. Number five,

828
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 1: empower yourself with knowledge. Empowering yourself in general is one

829
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 1: of the best strategies for building confidence. Yes, so read books,

830
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 1: read articles all that. My mother's number one saying, you

831
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 1: know how your mother has like a media saying, she'd

832
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:38,359
Speaker 1: be like, knowledge is power to sell. Knowledge is power.

833
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 1: And I used to hate that, and now I tell

834
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 1: my kids knowledge power. I'll be like, O, study knowledge

835
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 1: is power. Yes, but it's so true. It's so true.

836
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:52,640
Speaker 1: Be a front seater. Ever noticed in meetings how the

837
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:57,440
Speaker 1: back seats? Philip First, the reason is lack of confidence, really,

838
00:45:57,560 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 1: or you don't know the answer, or you don't like

839
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,080
Speaker 1: if you're cool, you're sitting in the backcause you'll know

840
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 1: the answer. I don't know, you don't do the homework.

841
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 1: I mean I always like to sit in the back.

842
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 1: I like to sit in the back of the bus.

843
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 1: But like, like if I'm on a bus, was on

844
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 1: a bus recently because we were on we were on

845
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:18,960
Speaker 1: Maryland's campus and we take on a shuttle bus from

846
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:20,800
Speaker 1: like one part of the campus to the other podcast

847
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:24,240
Speaker 1: and just instantly you get on and you just instantly

848
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 1: go to the back of the bus. Or if I'm

849
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 1: like like on a bus from like an airport shuttle,

850
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:30,439
Speaker 1: I just instantly walked all the way to the back,

851
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:33,719
Speaker 1: but in a classroom and seeing in a classroom, it's like, yeah,

852
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 1: I'm going in the back because I'm going to sleep. Well,

853
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 1: we know, we know how you graduated from the University

854
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 1: of Maryland. That was episode I think anyway we're going

855
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:45,399
Speaker 1: but no, but I get it. Yes, if you're sitting

856
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 1: in the front, you have no choice but to be alert,

857
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:51,240
Speaker 1: engage and confident. Yes, that is so true. Number seven

858
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:55,360
Speaker 1: practice making eye contact. Oh yes, yes, yes. Me and

859
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:57,319
Speaker 1: Robin look at each other's eyes all the time. Now

860
00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:00,759
Speaker 1: I can say that when some he doesn't look me

861
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 1: in the eye. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. It's okay, it's

862
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:12,640
Speaker 1: it's what Carly, she's talking about our friend. Oh okay,

863
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 1: y'all have okay, they have a single side joke hurt

864
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:19,440
Speaker 1: you know, Okay, we'll tell I'll tell you, Okay, you

865
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:23,239
Speaker 1: go tell me now. No, okay, okay, So I had

866
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:26,920
Speaker 1: there's another. Um. If I'm out and a woman doesn't

867
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 1: like look at me in my eye and I'm like

868
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 1: saying something, I always feel like you up to something. Really,

869
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:35,280
Speaker 1: I just i'm you're sleeping with somebody's man. I'll convince

870
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 1: any woman that does won't look you and I they're

871
00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:39,400
Speaker 1: sleeping with somebody's eyes. I mean it could be or

872
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 1: they could just lack confidence. Okay, they could just lack

873
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:45,480
Speaker 1: confidence okay, or they're like ashamed because they know what

874
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 1: they did a week ago to your husband, or because

875
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 1: they're thinking about what they want to do. Yeah, that's

876
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 1: that that could be in too, Okay, all right, yes,

877
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:57,120
Speaker 1: But and even due weak handshakes, yeah, we can the worst.

878
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 1: And dudes that like, I like talk to you and

879
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:01,240
Speaker 1: they like don't really look you in the eye because

880
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 1: and then they're like, oh yeah, as it's so beautiful.

881
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:05,800
Speaker 1: I just have a hard time staring into them. Boy,

882
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:09,160
Speaker 1: you're the worst. Get out of here. Why how did

883
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:12,440
Speaker 1: how did this this list? Let's start? Okay, anyway, what's

884
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:15,440
Speaker 1: the last on one? Robert? Okay, practice speaking up at

885
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:18,799
Speaker 1: every meeting. When you're in a meeting, speak, comment, make

886
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:22,359
Speaker 1: a suggestion, ask a question. Okay, I don't I don't

887
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 1: agree with this. You don't know. I let me tell

888
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:26,840
Speaker 1: you why. And we know this from the meetings that

889
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 1: we have to do that. A lot of times people

890
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 1: feel that way, so they phrase their hand, they say

891
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,440
Speaker 1: dumb shit, and you're just wasting everybody's time. But you're

892
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 1: dumb ship Well, okay, don't speak up and say dumb

893
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,320
Speaker 1: shit like but they think, oh, I've got to say something,

894
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:43,360
Speaker 1: so and I'm gonna speak like this because the person

895
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 1: I'm referring to talks like this. She's very grand and

896
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:51,880
Speaker 1: she'll say something and it's like we didn't need that, Karen.

897
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,399
Speaker 1: I mean, it's like, you know, sometimes just say nothing. No,

898
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 1: I mean that's true, that's true. Yeah, I mean, I'm

899
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 1: I'm definitely of the type that's I speak when it's necessary,

900
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:05,759
Speaker 1: like I'm not talking just to be talking, and don't

901
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 1: ask dumb questions. But but don't be intimidated to speak

902
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 1: up in a meeting or presentation or you know whatever.

903
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 1: Just you know, if you have something that's constructive to

904
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:21,799
Speaker 1: add to the conversation, yes, speak up. Yes, okay, this

905
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 1: was good. This was good stuff. We helped Actually, all

906
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 1: jokes aside. We hope we helped at least one person. Um,

907
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 1: don't forget if you are feeling dark, if you are blue,

908
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:34,520
Speaker 1: don't think that you can't reach out to somebody to

909
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:37,880
Speaker 1: ask for help. Therapy is a great thing. Try to

910
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:40,919
Speaker 1: find an outlet and just know that tomorrow will be

911
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 1: better than the day that you're in. Yes, absolutely, all right,

912
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I think I think you did that well,

913
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 1: I did that well. Thank you, thank you ing because

914
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 1: because at the beginning of this episode she was ready

915
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:55,360
Speaker 1: to get rid of me, So thank you, Robert. Anyway,

916
00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 1: don't never forget to live live your life, either reasonable

917
00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 1: or shady, or about fine fine. Reasonably Shady is a

918
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:17,440
Speaker 1: production of the Black Affect podcast Network. For more podcasts

919
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 1: from I Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app,

920
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,

921
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:26,759
Speaker 1: and you can connect with us on social media at

922
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 1: Robin Dixon, ten Gazelle, Briant, and Reasonably Shady.