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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's trying the new TikTok challenge

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Speaker 1: where you take a sleeping pill and an x lax

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Speaker 1: at the same time.

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Speaker 2: No, see what happens first, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Pj's challenge with laser stories, the segment where we read

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Speaker 1: weird news stores around the globe just like everyone else does,

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Speaker 1: except we have a laser and those other slime buckets

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Speaker 1: just don't. This first laser story is out of Los Angeles.

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Speaker 1: Luis Lozano and Eric Mitchell are former police officers were

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Speaker 1: fired after they ignored an ongoing robbery call.

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Speaker 3: Today.

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Speaker 2: You can't ignore that if you're a police officer.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, before you judge him, hear their excuse.

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Speaker 1: First, they were apparently dealing with another more serious emergency.

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Speaker 1: The two cops were in the middle of snatching a

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Speaker 1: coveted Snorlax on the game Pokemon.

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Speaker 4: Goes that's my favorite Pokemon. He just sleeps sounds.

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Speaker 2: No, we can't go get that criminal. We're dealing with

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Speaker 2: a snore lapps.

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Speaker 4: A very rare Pokemon and.

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Speaker 3: There bro oh, I see it makes sense then, Sorry,

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Speaker 3: the incident.

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Speaker 1: Happened a few years ago, and now the pair saying

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Speaker 1: it's unfair that they got fired it.

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Speaker 4: No, it's not.

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Speaker 1: They say they weren't really playing the game. They were

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Speaker 1: just monitoring the Pokemon tracker app on their phones.

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Speaker 2: Oh it's not playing the game.

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Speaker 1: No, they weren't actually trying to catch it. They were

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Speaker 1: just seeing, like they watched the Pokemon. But they never

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Speaker 1: threw their poke ball out.

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Speaker 2: They might as well housed.

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Speaker 4: I no brook, but technicalities okay.

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Speaker 1: They did, however, admit to leaving their beat area later

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Speaker 1: on in search of a rare tojitik.

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Speaker 4: Okay, they did end up catching that.

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Speaker 2: See there you go an picture? Are like the cops

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Speaker 2: from Reno nine one one. Yeah, like going after they'veversed.

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Speaker 4: Into a room. Freeze, everybody, get down. He can choose

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Speaker 4: around here somewhere.

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Speaker 1: They also said it wasn't fair that the department listened

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Speaker 1: in on their recorded conversations.

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Speaker 4: However, I don't.

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Speaker 2: Think the department's going to agree with that.

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Speaker 4: A judge did not agree.

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Speaker 2: Oh judge it neither.

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Speaker 1: They backed the police department for firing them with calls.

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Speaker 2: Oh good god. And they didn't even get the snorl

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Speaker 2: axeent darn it.

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Speaker 1: It's next leads the stories out of Aurora, Colorado. You know,

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Speaker 1: it seems like Christmas happened a while ago, but this

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Speaker 1: story just came out because on the morning of December

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Speaker 1: twenty fifth, a family woke up to a disturbing surprise

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Speaker 1: feces scattered on their child's outside picnic table.

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Speaker 3: Oh not, apparently their kid made the naughty list you.

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Speaker 2: Get, Yeah, colds were the only kind of naughty.

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Speaker 4: That's also sadly, the child's scooter was gone.

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Speaker 2: Christmas morning.

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Speaker 1: Mom said that she saw what happened after watching their

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Speaker 1: ring surveillance video. In the clip, an unidentified man scene

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Speaker 1: walking up to the family's porch, looking around, and then

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Speaker 1: dropping his pants to do his business right on the table.

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Speaker 4: It was like a deer or something.

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Speaker 1: He took the scooter and left, But the mom didn't

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Speaker 1: want to ruin Christmas for her daughters that morning. Here's

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Speaker 1: the audio of her talking about what happened. When the

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Speaker 1: girls woke up, my.

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Speaker 4: Daughter said, Mom, and don't worry.

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Speaker 2: It was just the reindeer.

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Speaker 4: The reindeer here, and I.

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Speaker 2: Was like, I wish it was. Then it scootered off

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Speaker 2: on your scooter. Those are big droppings for a reindeer.

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Speaker 1: Authorready say that if you know who did this or

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Speaker 1: if you see a middle aged man riding around on

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Speaker 1: a little girl scooter, please contact them.

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Speaker 2: Get away car now, I have.

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Speaker 4: To return that little girl scooter that.

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Speaker 2: You gotta go.

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Speaker 1: This next laser story is at a fast food nation.

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Speaker 1: Can this meal really be that spicy? Or is it

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Speaker 1: just a clever marketing scheme? Because Arby's has a new

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Speaker 1: menu item called the Diablo dare sandwich.

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Speaker 2: I want just because they put the name.

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Speaker 1: Name interested they claim it's so hot they have to

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Speaker 1: legally give you a free milkshake to go along with.

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Speaker 2: No way.

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Speaker 1: So there's a brisket version of it and a chicken version.

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Speaker 4: It doesn't look spicy, well, I does.

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Speaker 2: Kind of like it's a lot of pepper sitting on there.

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Speaker 1: They both have five spicy ingredients. They come with a

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Speaker 1: super spicy seasoning, ghost pepper jack, cheeset dice, tolopanos, Diablo

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Speaker 1: barbecue sauce made with four types of peppers, and of

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Speaker 1: course a smoking hot Diablo bun packed with chipotle pepper flakes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, baby, it looks delicious. It looks really good. I

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Speaker 2: do the chicken one.

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Speaker 1: It's just the.

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Speaker 4: Ghost peppers that you worry about.

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Speaker 2: Cheese dairy kind of like stabilize it. No, maybe I

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Speaker 2: don't know.

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Speaker 1: But like you know how the fast food companies, whenever

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Speaker 1: one person comes out with something, another competitor has to

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Speaker 1: do something to want at them. So you know that

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Speaker 1: McDonald's or Burger King is gonna come up with an

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Speaker 1: even spicier sandwich.

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Speaker 4: They're going to be a three diaper with it.

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Speaker 1: But this is going to be around for a limited

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Speaker 1: time through February sixth, So if anybody's brave enough to

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Speaker 1: try the Diablo Dare sandwich, Alexis Jose, you.

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Speaker 4: Should your diabetics, so I'll have your milkshake.

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Speaker 2: There you go.

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Speaker 1: We can do an eat off between the two of you.

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Speaker 4: Who Ever finished most of it gets to spend three

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Speaker 4: hours in the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: I'm scared now.

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Speaker 2: I want her to take a first.

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Speaker 3: Bite and then I don't do spicy b I'll do

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Speaker 3: it before Alexis.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean Alexis can't do pepper.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Why are always making spicy foods? Why is no one

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Speaker 2: coming out with the double Dare Bland bird.

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Speaker 4: Milkshakes? Definitely vanilla?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, This next lea the stories out of the future

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Speaker 1: of now. Flipping off a robot doesn't sound very satisfying,

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Speaker 1: but the next person who cuts you off in traffic

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Speaker 1: might not be a person at all. I say that

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Speaker 1: because Tesla's latest full self driving beta has an option

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Speaker 1: called assertive driving.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, it makes me want to get because

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Speaker 3: I always thought like, if you're doing an autopilot, then

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Speaker 3: we're probably gonna go the speed limit the whole time.

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Speaker 1: It basically sounds like you can choose to let your

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Speaker 1: car drive like a jerk. It has three profile options.

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Speaker 1: The options are chilly, average, and assertive. Apparently that last

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Speaker 1: option shortens your follow distance, so basically tailgating.

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Speaker 3: Does it also like suddenly pop up one of those

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Speaker 3: Calvin and Hobbes pean.

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Speaker 2: On the back of your car as well?

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Speaker 1: I don't know about that, but it does involve more

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Speaker 1: frequent lane changes. It'll stay in the fast lane more

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Speaker 1: often even if it's not passing anybody, and it allows

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Speaker 1: for quote rolling stops.

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Speaker 2: Now, how are we not hitting a pedestrian?

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Speaker 1: And the last one's getting the most attention because it

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Speaker 1: sounds like it'll roll through a stop sign if nobody's around,

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Speaker 1: which obviously is illegal. Though one guy on Twitter joke

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Speaker 1: that they should have called it road rage mode.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet you can program to forget what the

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Speaker 2: difference be merging and yielding is.

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Speaker 4: Let go.

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Speaker 1: I know one person I wouldn't want behind the wheel

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Speaker 1: of a Tesla right now because he put it into.

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Speaker 4: Puff mode the whole time. Nobody wants that a car

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Speaker 4: on top of my car. That's how means Laser Stories

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Speaker 4: has come to an end for the day. We'll do

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Speaker 4: it again, same time on Wednesday.