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Speaker 1: And you're here.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for choosing the iHeartRadio and Coast to Ghost Day

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Speaker 2: and Paranormal Podcast Network. Your quest for podcasts of the paranormal, supernatural,

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Speaker 2: and the unexplained ends here. They invite you to enjoy

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Speaker 2: all our shows we have on this network, and right now,

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Speaker 2: let's start with Chase of the Afterlife with Sandra Champlain.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to our podcast. Please be aware the thoughts and

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Speaker 3: opinions expressed by the host are their thoughts and opinions

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Speaker 3: only and do not reflect those of iHeartMedia, iHeartRadio, Coast

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Speaker 3: to Coast, AM employees of Premiere Networks, or their sponsors

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Speaker 3: and associates. We would like to encourage you to do

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Speaker 3: your own research and discover the subject matter for yourself.

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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 3: I'm Sandra Champlain. For over twenty five years, I've been

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Speaker 3: on a journey to prove the existence of life after death.

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Speaker 3: On each episode, will discuss the reasons we now know

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Speaker 3: that our loved ones have survived physical death and so

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Speaker 3: will we. Welcome to Shades of the Afterlife. We'll start

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Speaker 3: with some afterlife news. For centuries, science has told us

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Speaker 3: very specific, very frightening stories about death. They have told

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Speaker 3: us that death is the end of us. What if

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Speaker 3: I told you that the medical world is waking up

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Speaker 3: to a completely different reality. Just recently, a scientific presentation

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Speaker 3: made global headlines and shook up the scientific community. Researchers

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Speaker 3: presented undeniable evidence arguing that clinical deaths should be officially reclassified.

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Speaker 3: They are now calling it a negotiable condition. Let that

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Speaker 3: sink in a negotiable condition. Through advanced monitoring, doctors have

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Speaker 3: discovered that consciousness does not instantly vanish when the heart stops.

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Speaker 3: In fact, rural firings and deep elements of human consciousness

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Speaker 3: can continue for up to ninety minutes after a patient

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Speaker 3: is declared dead. Ninety minutes wow, an hour and a half,

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Speaker 3: where the physical body appears lifeless, but the mind, the awareness,

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Speaker 3: and the soul are still highly active, observing and embarking

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Speaker 3: on a magnificent journey. The science is groundbreaking, but it

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Speaker 3: is simply catching up to what near death experiencers have

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Speaker 3: been telling us forever. When the heart stops, the person

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Speaker 3: is still very much alive, just free from the heavy

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Speaker 3: blindfold of the physical brain. To truly understand this negotiable

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Speaker 3: space between the two worlds, we need some stories. So

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Speaker 3: today we're going to dive into the Near Death Experience

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Speaker 3: Research Foundation archives to hear some amazing accounts from everyday

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Speaker 3: people who have crossed to that bridge and returned to

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Speaker 3: tell us what it feels like when the soul steps

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Speaker 3: out of the body. But that's only the beginning. After

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Speaker 3: we explore the soul, we're going to talk about the

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Speaker 3: physical shell it leaves behind our body. Later in the episode,

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Speaker 3: I'll introduce you to Victor Sweeney. Victor's a new friend.

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Speaker 3: He's a small town mortician who deals with death every

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Speaker 3: single day. He'll share some of his stories about the

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Speaker 3: threads woven with loved ones in the afterlife and signs

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Speaker 3: that loved ones can leave for us, a phenomena he

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Speaker 3: witnesses regularly at cemeteries, and his life changing secret to

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Speaker 3: writing a perfect obituary to help us live life better.

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Speaker 3: Victor's perspective will completely change how you view the end

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Speaker 3: of life. So let's start out with the soul. I'd

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Speaker 3: like to share some recent stories posted on enderf dot org.

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Speaker 3: NDERF dot org. The Near Death Experience Research Foundation, founded

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Speaker 3: in nineteen ninety eight by radiation oncologist doctor Jeffrey Long

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Speaker 3: and his wife, Jody Enderf does absolutely incredible work. As

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Speaker 3: a medical doctor, doctor Long wanted to understand these experiences

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Speaker 3: from a strictly scientific perspective. Today, and DIRF is the

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Speaker 3: world's largest public searchable database for near death experiences, featuring

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Speaker 3: over forty eight hundred reports translated into more than thirty languages.

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Speaker 3: Doctor Long and his team don't just collect these stories,

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Speaker 3: they study them using a highly detailed survey to analyze

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Speaker 3: patterns in human consciousness, and after analyzing thousands of accounts,

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Speaker 3: doctor Long's biggest finding is the overwhelming consistency. Whether a

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Speaker 3: person is Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or a strict atheist,

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Speaker 3: their experiences in the afterlife are strikingly similar. He concluded

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Speaker 3: that there is no pattern of prior earthly beliefs that

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Speaker 3: could explain what happens. His medical conclusion is that near

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Speaker 3: death experiences are most definitely real and they are absolute

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Speaker 3: evidence of life after death. He found that experiencers are

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Speaker 3: met with an all encompassing feeling of love beyond anything

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Speaker 3: we feel on earth. Nearly one hundred percent of the

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Speaker 3: people who come back no longer fear death. They return changed,

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Speaker 3: wanting to help others and live more fully. They know

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Speaker 3: that we are reunited with our loved ones, and they

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Speaker 3: know that love falls on everyone equally. Their website is

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Speaker 3: a treasure chest of hope, so let's open it up

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Speaker 3: with a few stories. The first story comes from a

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Speaker 3: young man named Kevin who lives in the Netherlands. In

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Speaker 3: December of twenty eighteen, Kevin was at his doctor's office

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Speaker 3: receiving a routine steroid injection for his rheumatism, but something

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Speaker 3: went terribly wrong. His body had a severe allergic reaction

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Speaker 3: and he suddenly went into anaphylactic shock. His legs gave

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Speaker 3: out in the waiting room and his physical body began

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Speaker 3: violently convulsing on the floor. To the doctors and his

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Speaker 3: mother who were watching, it was an absolute nightmare, But

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Speaker 3: for Kevin, inside his consciousness, there was no panic and

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Speaker 3: there was no pain. Kevin says he simply fell asleep

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Speaker 3: and woke up. In the in between, he found himself

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Speaker 3: standing in a magnificent, sprawling green landscape that looked like

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Speaker 3: a massive, beautiful garden, and he wasn't alone. Waiting for

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Speaker 3: him in the garden was his deceased grandfather. Kevin said

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Speaker 3: he instantly felt that his grandfather wasn't just a visitor.

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Speaker 3: He was his guide, one who protects him here on earth.

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Speaker 3: Kevin described the emotion of this place simply as peace,

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Speaker 3: just peace. He found a profound sense of oneness with

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Speaker 3: the world and was wrapped in a blanket of constant,

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Speaker 3: unconditional love. But what really stands out to me about

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Speaker 3: Kevin's story is how he described what the afterlife looks like.

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Speaker 3: He said his senses were magnified. We often think of

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Speaker 3: heaven as this cloudy, hazy, ethereal place, but Kevin said

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Speaker 3: it was the exact opposite. He described the afterlife as

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Speaker 3: being in ultra high density. He could see every single

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Speaker 3: individual blade of grass in the garden and the way

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Speaker 3: the wind moved through It was absolutely fascinating. To put

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Speaker 3: it in terms we can all understand today, Kevin said,

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Speaker 3: daily life here on earth would be equal to watching

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Speaker 3: a YouTube video in blurry three hundred and sixty pixels.

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Speaker 3: This experience was in four k ara high definition. The

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Speaker 3: afterlife isn't less real than our physical world. It is

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Speaker 3: more real, he said. Kevin and his grandfather had a conversation.

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Speaker 3: Kevin was told that it wasn't going to be easy,

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Speaker 3: but he had important things left to do. On earth.

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Speaker 3: He was given the ultimate choice. He could stay in

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Speaker 3: that beautiful four k garden of unconditional love, or he

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Speaker 3: could go back into his broken physical body. Because Kevin

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Speaker 3: wrote his story on the end of website, we know

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Speaker 3: what he chose. He woke up in his body with

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Speaker 3: a huge gasp of air. He said. The first thing

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Speaker 3: he felt when he woke up was that he was

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Speaker 3: ready to take on anything. He came back stronger, his

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Speaker 3: life forever changed because of his near death experience. Our

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Speaker 3: second story comes from a man named Kenny, who lives

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Speaker 3: over in the United Kingdom. While Kevin's experience happened in

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Speaker 3: a sterile medical setting, Kenny happened out on the road.

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Speaker 3: It was back in nineteen seventy three. Kenny was a

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Speaker 3: young college student riding his motorcycle. Suddenly a car pulled

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Speaker 3: out directly in front of him. Kenny says he saw

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Speaker 3: the car milliseconds before it hit him. He just had

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Speaker 3: time to think, oh no, before the left side of

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Speaker 3: his bike slammed violently into the car door. Immediately after

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Speaker 3: the collision, the timeline of reality completely shifted for Kenny.

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Speaker 3: He didn't feel the devastating impact, he didn't feel the pain, instantly,

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Speaker 3: he found himself entirely outside of his physical body. He

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Speaker 3: was hovering in the air, looking down at his badly

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Speaker 3: damaged motorcycle on the ground below him. He felt absolutely

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Speaker 3: no concern, He had absolutely no fear, and he said

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Speaker 3: he felt absolutely no pain. Then his journey began. Kenny

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Speaker 3: he remembers floating down what he described as a wide,

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Speaker 3: dark tunnel, but he said it wasn't scary or claustrophobic

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Speaker 3: like a normal tunnel. It felt more like floating down

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Speaker 3: a wide, peaceful, dark street. As he moved through this space,

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Speaker 3: Kenny experienced something we hear quite often in near death experiences.

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Speaker 3: He didn't just feel peace. He felt connected to an immense,

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Speaker 3: infinite pool of knowledge. He described it as being attached

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Speaker 3: to a cosmic library of experiences and universal truths. It

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Speaker 3: wasn't a forced connection, like something pulling him to experience it.

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Speaker 3: He said, it was simply a vast, unlimited source of

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Speaker 3: knowledge that was suddenly available to him if he wanted

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Speaker 3: access to it. He suddenly understood things far beyond the

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Speaker 3: capacity of what the physical human brain can understand. Kenny

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Speaker 3: says the whole experience happened incredibly fast, and he had

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Speaker 3: absolutely no desire to come back to earth. He wasn't

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Speaker 3: thinking about missing his friends or family. He was just

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Speaker 3: completely content in that beautiful, expanded state of awareness. But

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Speaker 3: just like Kevin, it wasn't his time. The next thing

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Speaker 3: Kenny knew, he was slammed back into his physical body.

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Speaker 3: He woke up on the hard ground, completely feeling lots

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Speaker 3: of pain. When he arrived at the hospital, the doctors

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Speaker 3: told him he was incredibly lucky to be alive. After

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Speaker 3: he recovered, Kenny tried to tell his girlfriend what had

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Speaker 3: happened to him, but when she gave him a strange

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Speaker 3: dismissive look, Kenny made the decision that so many near

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Speaker 3: death experiencers make. He stopped talking about it because of

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Speaker 3: her reaction. He kept this profound, beautiful secret entirely to

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Speaker 3: himself for decades. But even though he didn't talk about it,

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Speaker 3: this experience completely changed his life. Kenny says it's difficult

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Speaker 3: to put into words, but his near death experience completely

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Speaker 3: destroyed any fear of death. Over the next fifty years

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Speaker 3: of his life, Kenny had several incredibly close calls. He

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Speaker 3: survived car accidents, nearly drowned while scuba diving, suffered hypothermia.

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Speaker 3: But the weird thing, he said, none of those terrifying

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Speaker 3: events even phased him. His heart rate might have gone up,

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Speaker 3: but the panic and the profound fear of dying were

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Speaker 3: completely gone. He was perfectly calm in the face of

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Speaker 3: extreme danger because he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt,

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Speaker 3: that the soul does not die when the body does.

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Speaker 3: These two stories are perfect examples of why death is

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Speaker 3: called a negotiable condition. The body shuts down, but the

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Speaker 3: true self, our consciousness, steps out, connects with universe, so

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Speaker 3: love people in the afterlife, and expands into infinite knowledge.

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Speaker 1: We'll be right back.

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Speaker 3: You're listening to Shades of the Afterlife on the iHeartRadio

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Speaker 3: and Coast to Coast AM Paranormal Podcast Network. Welcome back

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Speaker 3: to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm Sandra Champlain, and before

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Speaker 3: the break, we were looking at the groundbreaking science that

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Speaker 3: proves consciousness continues after the physical body shuts down, and

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Speaker 3: we heard two breathtaking near death experience accounts from the

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Speaker 3: ender of archives. But as we continue looking through these archives,

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Speaker 3: I want to share a story that proves something very important.

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Speaker 3: The veil between this world and the spirit world doesn't

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Speaker 3: just open up when our physical heart stops beeding. Sometimes

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Speaker 3: the veil opens up when our human hearts are simply

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Speaker 3: breaking under the weight of fear, grief, and despair. This

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Speaker 3: next story comes from a man named Chris who lives

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Speaker 3: in Ireland. This is called an after death communication ADC

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Speaker 3: that completely changed the direction of his life. When Chris

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Speaker 3: was just nineteen years old, he admits he was a

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Speaker 3: bit of a rebellious teenager. He liked to party and

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Speaker 3: he gave his parents a hard time, and spirituality was

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Speaker 3: the absolute furthest thing from his mind. But one day,

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Speaker 3: his care free world came crashing down. Chris discovered a

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Speaker 3: very large, painful lump on his body. He was completely terrified.

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Speaker 3: He rushed to his local doctor and as he lay

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Speaker 3: on the exam table, he prayed that everything that the

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Speaker 3: doctor would tell him would be nothing, that he would

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Speaker 3: be okay. The doctor didn't say that. The doctor looked

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Speaker 3: at nineteen year old Chris and said that he was

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Speaker 3: very worried about what he felt and that Chris needed

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Speaker 3: to go to a hospital to see a specialist immediately.

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Speaker 3: Because it was a Friday before a long holiday weekend,

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Speaker 3: Chris couldn't get an appointment until the following Tuesday morning.

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Speaker 3: So for the next several days, Chris was in an

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Speaker 3: absolute mental terror. He was convinced that his life was over.

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Speaker 3: He couldn't eat, he couldn't speak, he couldn't sleep for days,

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Speaker 3: entirely consumed by the terrifying thought that his life might

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Speaker 3: be coming to an end. Finally, Chris collapsed into bed.

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Speaker 3: He closed his eyes, and he slipped out of his

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Speaker 3: waking consciousness, but he didn't have a dream. Instantly, Chris

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Speaker 3: found himself sitting in the back room of his grandparents' house.

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Speaker 3: It was exactly the way he remembered it from when

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Speaker 3: he was just four or five years old. He was

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Speaker 3: sitting on a brown armchair, and sitting directly across from

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Speaker 3: him was a woman. It was his aunt, Angela. Angela

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Speaker 3: had passed away tragically at the age of twenty three.

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Speaker 3: Chris was only two years old when she died, so

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Speaker 3: he had no real memory of her, only what he

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Speaker 3: had seen in pictures. Yet sitting in this room, he

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Speaker 3: was connected to her, and he felt she was real,

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Speaker 3: and he felt like he had known her forever. Chris

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Speaker 3: said the feeling in that room was an abundance of love.

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Speaker 3: That he had never ever experienced on Earth. There was

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Speaker 3: absolute safety, joy, and a radiating light coming from his aunt.

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Speaker 3: She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen,

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Speaker 3: he said. They didn't speak with their physical mouths. They

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Speaker 3: communicated telepathically, instantly knowing each other's thoughts. Time did not

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Speaker 3: exist in this space. Chris felt like they sat together

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Speaker 3: for a long time, talking and laughing. But the most

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Speaker 3: important part of the experience, the detail Chris says he

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Speaker 3: was specifically meant to remember, was exactly what his aunt

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Speaker 3: Angela was wearing. He remembers it with crystal clarity. She

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Speaker 3: was wearing a loose green blue skirt and a very

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Speaker 3: unusual color. She wore a white blouse embroidered with a

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Speaker 3: unique pattern along the neckline with highly unusual buttons. Chris

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Speaker 3: felt entirely at home in this experience, and he never

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Speaker 3: wanted to leave. But the next morning, Chris woke up

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Speaker 3: in his physical bed and something miraculous happened. The suffocating terror,

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Speaker 3: the anxiety, and the fear of his medical diagnosis were

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Speaker 3: completely one hundred percent gone. He woke up in a

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Speaker 3: state of euphoric joy. He knew, beyond a shadow of

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Speaker 3: a doubt, that he was going to be fine. When

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Speaker 3: Tuesday morn arrived, Chris literally danced into the hospital without

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Speaker 3: a care in the world, and just as he suspected,

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Speaker 3: the specialist confirmed it was only a cyst. A simple

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Speaker 3: course of antibiotics was all that was needed, and within

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Speaker 3: days he was completely healed. If the story ended there,

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Speaker 3: it would be comforting, but Chris brought something back with him.

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Speaker 3: Weeks later, Chris was visiting his grandparents' house and as

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Speaker 3: he was walking through their kitchen, he was drawn to

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Speaker 3: a picture frame hanging.

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Speaker 1: On the wall.

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Speaker 3: The hair on the back of his neck stood straight up.

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Speaker 3: Inside the frame was a photograph his grandmother had just

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Speaker 3: recently put on display. It was a picture of his

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Speaker 3: aunt Angela, taken right before she passed. In the photograph,

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Speaker 3: Angela was wearing the exact clothing from Chris's vision, the

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Speaker 3: unusual green blue skirt, the white blouse with the unique embroidery,

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Speaker 3: and those strange buttons. Chris was stunned. He called his

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Speaker 3: grandmother over and told her about his experience and how

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Speaker 3: Angela was wearing that exact outfit. His grandmother looked at him,

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Speaker 3: completely shocked, and revealed the final piece of the puzzle.

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Speaker 3: She told Chris that the outfit in the photograph was

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Speaker 3: the exact outfit they had buried Angela in. Chris is

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Speaker 3: now forty four years old. He says it's been over

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Speaker 3: two decades since that night, and he says the experience

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Speaker 3: is as real to him today as it was back then.

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Speaker 3: It made him a better, more compassionate man, and he

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Speaker 3: knows with absolute certainty that our loved ones are still

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Speaker 3: with us, and that what awaits us after this life

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Speaker 3: is way beyond our wildest imaginations. My next story for

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Speaker 3: you comes from a woman named Pamela, and it is

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Speaker 3: considered by researchers at Ender to be an absolutely exceptional case.

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Speaker 3: In April of nineteen ninety, Pamela was a stressed out

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Speaker 3: college student working long shifts at a restaurant. One Friday night,

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Speaker 3: she felt a strange pop in her stomach. By Sunday morning,

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Speaker 3: she was completely collapsed on her bathroom floor and not breathing.

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Speaker 3: That pop had been a ruptured blood vessel from a

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Speaker 3: perforated ulcer, and she was rapidly leading to death. Her

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Speaker 3: husband found her, dialed nine to one one and frantically

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Speaker 3: began performing CPR, But Pamela didn't feel the panic. She

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Speaker 3: was completely engulfed in a brilliant white light. When her

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Speaker 3: eyes adjusted, she found herself standing on a snow capped

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Speaker 3: mountain range, overlooking the most vibrant, emerald green valley she

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Speaker 3: had ever seen. The sky was the deep dark blue

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Speaker 3: of outer space. In the middle of this valley stood

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Speaker 3: a majestic, glowing tree. Pamela knew instantly that this was

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Speaker 3: the tree of life. As she stepped beneath its branches,

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Speaker 3: she was surrounded by a choir of singing animals, and

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Speaker 3: then out of the crowd, a dog came running toward her.

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Speaker 3: It was Holly, her beloved Rottweiler, who had passed away

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Speaker 3: peacefully in her arms just a few days prior. But

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Speaker 3: Holly wasn't old or sick anymore. She was young, strong,

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Speaker 3: and her little tail was wagging so hard that her

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Speaker 3: body shook. Pamela fell to her knees, weeping tears of joy,

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Speaker 3: covering her dog in kisses. Her soul felt entirely complete.

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Speaker 3: But off in the distance, Pamela heard a frantic voice

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Speaker 3: calling her name. It was her husband. She didn't want

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Speaker 3: to leave, but his voice was so filled with fear

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Speaker 3: that she finally gave in. Instantly, Pamela experienced what she

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Speaker 3: calls a duality of being. Her consciousness split. Her spirit

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Speaker 3: floated up to the ceiling, where she calmly watched an

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Speaker 3: army of paramedics rush into her bedroom. Yet at the

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Speaker 3: exact same time, she could feel her physical body lying

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Speaker 3: on the bed. She felt the sudden coldness of the

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Speaker 3: ECG monitors being stuck to her chest, and the tightness

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Speaker 3: of the blood pressure cuff. She rode in the ambulance

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Speaker 3: in this dual state, watching from above while feeling from within.

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Speaker 3: Once she arrived at the hospital emergency room, her heart

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Speaker 3: stopped again. At this time, her spirit completely detached. She

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Speaker 3: was pulled into a lush, sunlit garden with a beautiful,

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Speaker 3: vibrating pool of water. As she sat down on a

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Speaker 3: carved wooden bench, a wispy white cloud approached her and

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Speaker 3: a Buddhist monk materialized. He had a round face, sparkling eyes,

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Speaker 3: and a sweet smile. He introduced himself as Hote, her

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Speaker 3: spirit guide. Hoote told her that this garden was a

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Speaker 3: place for rest and healing. Before moving deeper into the

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Speaker 3: spirit world, he showed her a glimpse of the beautiful

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Speaker 3: meadow filled with animals, explaining that her future role in

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Speaker 3: the afterlife would be as an animal caregiver. But then

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Speaker 3: he smiled and told her she was only a visitor

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Speaker 3: this time, that she had to go back. Pamela woke

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Speaker 3: up in the ICU. She had lost over thirty percent

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Speaker 3: of her blood, but she had still survived. When she

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00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:38,920
Speaker 3: finally went home, Pamela was fundamentally changed. Her senses were

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00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,639
Speaker 3: magnified to the point where she could actually see the

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Speaker 3: vibrating auras and energy around the plants in her yard.

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Speaker 3: That even more incredibly, she returned with a highly altered

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Speaker 3: electrical frequency. For a long time after her near death experience,

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Speaker 3: her hands were so electrified that she would blow out

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Speaker 3: light bulbs just by touching a switch, and she would

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Speaker 3: shoot visible sparks if she touched metal cans at a

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Speaker 3: grocery store. She eventually learned to channel this intense energy

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Speaker 3: into a lifelong career in healing touch therapy, working alongside

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Speaker 3: medical doctors. But a chilling validation of Pamela's experience happened

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Speaker 3: a couple of years later. Her mother in law, who

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Speaker 3: knew Pamela had been sick but knew nothing about her

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Speaker 3: near death experience. Pulled into the driveway with a surprise

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Speaker 3: gift for Pamela's garden. She opened the trunk and pulled

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Speaker 3: out a heavy garden statue. As they set it down

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Speaker 3: among the flowers, her mother in law smiled and said,

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Speaker 3: this is Hote. Pamela nearly fell over. It was the

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Speaker 3: exact monk from her near death experience. She finally told

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Speaker 3: her mother in law the whole story about crossing over

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Speaker 3: the Emerald Valley and her spirit guide Hote. Her mother

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Speaker 3: in law at and stunned silence for a moment before

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Speaker 3: looking at her and saying, there are no coincidences. You

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Speaker 3: were meant to have this. So, my friends, our soul

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Speaker 3: is real, the afterlife is real, and the love we

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Speaker 3: share with our family and even our pets never ever dies.

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Speaker 3: But what about this physical body. Well, we have to

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Speaker 3: leave that behind, don't we. When we come back from

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Speaker 3: the break, We're going to meet a small town mortician

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Speaker 3: who believes in the afterlife. But he'll give us some

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Speaker 3: words that lighten up the conversation of physically dying and

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Speaker 3: share some comforting words about honoring our physical and spiritual selves.

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Speaker 1: We'll be right back.

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Speaker 3: You're listening to Shades of the Afterlife on the iHeartRadio

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Speaker 3: and Coast to Coast, a m paranormal podcast network. Welcome

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Speaker 3: back to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm Sandra Champlain and

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Speaker 3: what I'd like to do now is introduce you to

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Speaker 3: Victor M. Sweeney, who has been called the Internet's favorite mortician.

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Speaker 3: He's a small town funeral director, an author of a

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Speaker 3: brand new book called Now Departing a small town mortician

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Speaker 3: on death, life and the moments in between. His videos

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Speaker 3: have been seen by millions on YouTube, and he's the

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Speaker 3: host of a new podcast called Death and Here's Victor, who,

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Speaker 3: for me takes a little fear away from death and dying.

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Speaker 1: My wheelhouse is the dying part, and the being a

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Speaker 1: dead body part is really a substantial chuck of what

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Speaker 1: I do. I've got a busy day just head of death,

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Speaker 1: but they're not ready for us to come yet. And

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Speaker 1: I've already done someone's makeup, I've tied someone's hands together,

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00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 1: their position properly in the casket. That is just the

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Speaker 1: regular run a day around here. It's funny. I really

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Speaker 1: like the subtitle of your book about a skeptics understanding

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Speaker 1: of this, because I am very naturally a skeptic, and

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's just working around the dead

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Speaker 1: bodies enough like makes you very practical, which I think

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Speaker 1: it does in some ways. But so you hear these things, right,

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Speaker 1: they say, oh, mom died, and then a butterfly light

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Speaker 1: on her window, right, or the cardinal in my tree

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00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 1: is my dad speaking to me? Do you wonder you

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Speaker 1: know I'm naturally a little like? I don't know. But

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Speaker 1: then some things happen in your own life or just

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Speaker 1: generally that make me believe that it's all real. There's

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Speaker 1: the metaphysical. We just don't maybe have the tools to

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Speaker 1: measure it yet or maybe we never will. And just

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00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 1: being okay with the unmeasurability of the hereafter is just

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00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,160
Speaker 1: part and parcel of what being human is. So here's

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Speaker 1: how it starts. I always want to be a priest.

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Speaker 1: I'm a Catholic still, I am mayor I've got my

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00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:03,880
Speaker 1: pope mug. There's always in the back of my mind

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00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 1: as a child, and was discerning it through high school

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00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 1: and slowly realized that's not what I was meant to do,

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00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 1: much to my own sagrin. I really wanted to be

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Speaker 1: a Proust, and I just happened to be given a

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Speaker 1: book by my godfather called The Undertaking by Thomas Lynch,

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00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 1: probably like the last really good book on funeral service.

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Speaker 1: He's an undertaker and poet. Thomas Lynch is and wrote

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Speaker 1: a fascinating book. And I put down that book, I

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00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:27,920
Speaker 1: mean just one because it was interesting. But I put

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Speaker 1: on that book, going huh, that's something I could do.

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Speaker 1: And so I got a job at a local funeral

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Speaker 1: home just to try it out, and it just kind

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Speaker 1: of fit. Then, yeah, just the long and short of it.

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Speaker 1: I got married, I had a baby nine months later.

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Speaker 1: We were living in Fargo, North Dakota. My wife, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going back to work. Well, we have to

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Speaker 1: move to the worst part of town that mortician salaries

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Speaker 1: are notoriously low. And then I got a call the

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Speaker 1: next day from this Mike Duborg guy who I'd never met,

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Speaker 1: asking if I was ever looking for a job, and

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Speaker 1: so I thought, oh, you know, moved to the middle

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00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 1: of nowhere to get our feet under us move on

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Speaker 1: in a couple of years. And that was eleven years ago.

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Speaker 1: So things don't really always work out how you think.

430
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 1: But you know, looking back over my life. I've grown

431
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 1: up with a lot of death in the family. The

432
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 1: first dead body I ever found, the first deathbed I

433
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 1: ever attended, was my best friend when I was three.

434
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 1: He actually had a seizure in the night while he

435
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 1: was sleeping, and the next morning we walked kitty corner

436
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 1: across the street to his mom, who did my daycare,

437
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 1: and she goes, oh, Robbie's not up yet, go wake

438
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 1: him up. And so I climbed up into his red

439
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 1: metal bunk bed and found the first dead body of

440
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 1: my career. Unknowingly, but it's been you know, it just

441
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 1: is what it is. Granted, most three year old shouldn't

442
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 1: have to deal with that, maybe, Sander, But I think

443
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 1: it does in some ways shape and inform who I

444
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 1: am today, you know, because you walk into this like

445
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 1: terrible scene and then you just have like a normal

446
00:29:55,400 --> 00:30:00,120
Speaker 1: childhood after that. Right, And I think part of it,

447
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 1: maybe is that I can do that on a weekly basis. Now,

448
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 1: I walk into a terrible scene on a family's worst day,

449
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 1: and I take their dead loved one with me and

450
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 1: just learning to be okay with that and go I'm happy. Besides, right,

451
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 1: not that you compartmentalize or maybe you get numbed to death.

452
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 1: I don't think you ever really get numb, like if

453
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: I have a child that dies, Like I'm crying with

454
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 1: the family every time. But there is something about just

455
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 1: knowing I have something to offer a family who's struggling,

456
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 1: and so I can be strong for that. That's easy.

457
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 1: They have the harder part of dealing with, you know,

458
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 1: mom or dad not being there every day. You know,

459
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 1: my job is easy. It lasts, well, it's not easy,

460
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,680
Speaker 1: but it lasts a week. Right. I bring mom into

461
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 1: my care, I get her ready, I dress her up

462
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 1: or cremate her or whatever they want me to do.

463
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 1: I work with the family to schedule something to remember

464
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 1: their mom, and spend a lot of time looking backward.

465
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 1: But then the inevitable question comes at some point is

466
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: how do we look forward? Right? That's an important part

467
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 1: of this whole process too, is looking forward. And so

468
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: to your I don't know discipline about what comes next.

469
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 1: It's very salient because everything I do points at that.

470
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 1: Everything I do points at its reflection, yes, but then

471
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 1: it points to what is going to happen next, And

472
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 1: so I see things, you know that just scratch my

473
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 1: skeptic mind where You'll go to a cemetery right rainy day,

474
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 1: and you'll pull into the cemetery and there's mud puddles everywhere,

475
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 1: and you get the casket onto the device over the grave,

476
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 1: and as soon as you do that, rain clears, and

477
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 1: there's like a hole in the sky that opens up

478
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 1: and the sun comes down just in that one spot

479
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 1: where you and the family happen to be standing around deceased.

480
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: And then as soon as you're done, it goes back

481
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 1: to raining again. Right. I see this all the time

482
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:52,239
Speaker 1: every year. Every year, inevitably, you know, we'll get out

483
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 1: in the rain or the snow or whatever it is,

484
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 1: and it just starts and stops and starts again. Yeah,

485
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 1: like I said it, it definitely exists. It must exist.

486
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 1: But how we measure and understand it, I don't know.

487
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 1: So I have a kind of an interesting I don't

488
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 1: know if I've told anybody about this. I have terrible

489
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 1: luck with best friends. I guess because my second best

490
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 1: friend from high school took his own life. It'll be

491
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 1: seven years ago, it'll be seven years in a couple

492
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 1: of weeks, and he took his own life, and I

493
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 1: was very involved in his funeral, helping his parents kind

494
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 1: of plan things, and I just built the first draft

495
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 1: of his obituary because this is something I do. There's

496
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 1: something I know how to do, and it's easier for

497
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,440
Speaker 1: me to sit down and write about my best friend's

498
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 1: whole life from start to finish than it is for

499
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 1: his parents. We're going through the same thing, mind you,

500
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 1: but I've been doing it a while. So we had

501
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 1: his funeral and it was very hard. And cried the

502
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 1: whole time. The only time I stopped crying was when

503
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 1: I gave his eulogy, and then I just started. When

504
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 1: I went off to the funeral, my boss and his

505
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 1: wife were watching one my kids, and I came back

506
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,120
Speaker 1: to pick him up. My wife and I picked him up.

507
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,480
Speaker 1: The oldest son is wearing this like goofy looking ski

508
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 1: hat with like you know, with like the little pomp

509
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 1: pom on top that has like the tassels and the ears. Okay,

510
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 1: and I like stopped, I couldn't breathe because my friend

511
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:16,640
Speaker 1: Alex used to wear those stupid hats like all the time. Okay,

512
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 1: like summer, winter, it didn't matter, you just wear this

513
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 1: dumb subur hat with the tassels. And my son is

514
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 1: wearing one and I'm like, what's going on and he goes, oh,

515
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 1: Betty gave it to me, my boss's wife. Huh. Of

516
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 1: all the things, of all the things you could have

517
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,959
Speaker 1: come home with, you know, it was something that was

518
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 1: meaningful to me. And like, there are no coincidences, Sandra,

519
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 1: there are none. And so it is amazing just how

520
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 1: all these things kind of play out and move in

521
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 1: your life. You never really know, but then you look

522
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 1: back and you see it. You see that invisible thread

523
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 1: through all of them. I love that, the invisible thread.

524
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:55,959
Speaker 1: When you think we're on a planet hurling through an

525
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 1: ever expanding universe, and then down to our quantum level,

526
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 1: we are in vis vibrating energy. Sometimes it takes that hard,

527
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:07,239
Speaker 1: cold truth to realize there can be something more. I

528
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 1: know your time is limited today, so I kind of

529
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 1: want to do some things I want to hear. The

530
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 1: first thing is making us feel a little more comfortable

531
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 1: about say that the death process. It's been I don't

532
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 1: want to say taboo, but we don't see death. People

533
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 1: die in hospitals, nursing homes, accidents. It's not like one

534
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 1: hundred years ago where people lived on the farm and

535
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 1: they would bring people into the parlor and have that

536
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,919
Speaker 1: so being a little bit more at home with it

537
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 1: because from what I know and the people I've talked to,

538
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,319
Speaker 1: you guys and gals in the business are some of

539
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 1: the most caring people in the world. Oh, thank you, guys.

540
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 3: Yeah.

541
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's because we deal with the There's

542
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 1: two parts of us, right. There's the metaphysical part of us, right,

543
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:57,879
Speaker 1: that understands everything that is beyond our comprehension. The soul

544
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,720
Speaker 1: within us. Let's say that that understands love of truth

545
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 1: and justice, and they can reach out and make a

546
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 1: connection with another. Right, you can't touch that necessarily. We're

547
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,279
Speaker 1: very lucky, I think sometimes as morticians because we get

548
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 1: to deal with that, right, you get to make human

549
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 1: connection in an intense time, but you also deal with

550
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 1: the meat and the bones and the blood and the guts.

551
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 1: In some ways, I think it allows us to kind

552
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 1: of see the whole picture. There are certain types of

553
00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 1: people right who would say that, you know, all we

554
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 1: are is spirit, or all that matters, right is our

555
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:33,720
Speaker 1: connection or what we leave behind, or all that matters

556
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 1: is our soul. And while that's true, I can't help

557
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 1: but think too that, like the meat part of us

558
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:43,239
Speaker 1: really matters. I've seen it time and time again. If

559
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,960
Speaker 1: I deliver a parent right back to their child for

560
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 1: a last goodbye. Let's say I'm sitting in the back

561
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 1: of my chapel right now. If I flipped around the camera,

562
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: you'd see the front of the chapel where there's a

563
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:57,919
Speaker 1: casket wide open. Okay, when I give that person back

564
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 1: to their family for a little bit amazing because what's

565
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 1: the first thing they do, right, They stroke the hair,

566
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 1: but they touch the hands. And there's nothing in your

567
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,879
Speaker 1: life that you've experienced apart from your body. Right, Even

568
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,399
Speaker 1: dreams take place in the three pounds of gray matter

569
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 1: in our skull. And so I think the reverence of

570
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:19,320
Speaker 1: the body is really important and to understand that, yes, okay,

571
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 1: we're we're on a rock spinning an ever expanding space. Yes,

572
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 1: but also like our mother's hands are really important. Like

573
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:32,360
Speaker 1: our mom carried us as a baby, So why should

574
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 1: we not also think about her hands, like think about

575
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 1: her soul, think about love, yes, but also like to

576
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 1: think about all the time she carried you and reverence

577
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:45,240
Speaker 1: that and hold these two in like this crazy tension,

578
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 1: right because the whole time we're alive, right, our body

579
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:52,320
Speaker 1: and soul are locked together. They're not made to split,

580
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 1: but they will, right there will be a day where

581
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 1: Victor Sweeney's soul will leave from his body, okay, and

582
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,279
Speaker 1: I will just be a dead body like all the

583
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,960
Speaker 1: rest of them I've ever worked with. But the fact is,

584
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 1: Victor Sweeney's hands have done some things that have been

585
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 1: pretty important, Like Victor Sweeney's eyes have seen some things

586
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 1: that I think we're worth seeing. And I've hopefully said

587
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 1: some things we're saying along the way. And so to

588
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,720
Speaker 1: have kind of a fully fleshed kind of a punt,

589
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 1: to have a fully fleshed memory, though, of someone, isn't

590
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,400
Speaker 1: just all the things that they've meant to you, you know,

591
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 1: It's also this physicality, because without your physicality, you're just

592
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:33,920
Speaker 1: disembodied something floating around in space. So we're so much

593
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 1: more than that. And I don't know, I've been reading

594
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:40,319
Speaker 1: the Stoics lately, but I was reading Marcus Aurelius's meditations

595
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 1: the other day and there was a line he came

596
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 1: at me so hard. It was from a thousand years ago.

597
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 1: He came out and it was something like, how many

598
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:53,160
Speaker 1: of us bury our dead? And the next day find

599
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 1: ourselves the same, and you know, I felt like it

600
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 1: was kind of meant for me in some ways, but

601
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:01,800
Speaker 1: really knowing that it's brief doesn't really give me much pause.

602
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 1: I guess because you see so many lifetimes come and go.

603
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 1: It's very beautiful. I think we're given this great gift,

604
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 1: and to know that something about us lasts longer than

605
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,279
Speaker 1: just the time it takes for our bones to turn

606
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 1: into dust is very beautiful. We'll be right back.

607
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:21,240
Speaker 3: You're listening to Shades of the Afterlife on the iHeartRadio

608
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:45,320
Speaker 3: and Coast to Coast AM Paranormal Podcast Network. Welcome back

609
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 3: to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm Sandra Champlain, and we're

610
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 3: with Victor Sweeney, author of Now Departing a small town

611
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 3: mortician on death, life and the moments in between. You

612
00:38:57,080 --> 00:39:00,799
Speaker 3: can find out more about him on his website msweeney

613
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:05,279
Speaker 3: dot com, or you can go to death and Podcast

614
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 3: dot com. Victor, I read that you update your obituary

615
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 3: every year. Do you have any tools for us to

616
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,080
Speaker 3: make the most out of life knowing that we all

617
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:16,439
Speaker 3: have an expiration date?

618
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, the time limit. Okay, so I have. I've written

619
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 1: my own obituary, and I've got a file cabinet in

620
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 1: my office with four hundred people that have pre planned

621
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,600
Speaker 1: their funerals, and mine is right next to them. Because

622
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 1: I realized not too long into this when I was

623
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 1: pre planning, what a hypocrite I would be if I

624
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 1: was saying, oh, sure, Dorothy, plan your funeral, but I

625
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 1: didn't have my own plan. So I have my own

626
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,719
Speaker 1: plans like jot and tittle. Everything is written down, but

627
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 1: as far as the obituary goes, I update it every year.

628
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,919
Speaker 1: And what's kind of ironic is you think it would

629
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 1: get longer every year, but I found that mine gets shorter.

630
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 1: The first draft. I maybe started listing things that I

631
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 1: really like or things that that I've done, and as

632
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 1: I go on, I tend to just pare it down

633
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 1: and realize that the only things that really last are

634
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:11,399
Speaker 1: not my affection for the nineteen thirty three World's Fair,

635
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 1: which I like a lot, don't get me wrong, but like,

636
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 1: that's not something that's going to it's not a transcendental property.

637
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 1: I can't take that with me, But I can take

638
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 1: the love of my wife and children with me. I can,

639
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 1: I hope, take some of the service and some of

640
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 1: the good that I've done to others with me, and

641
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,840
Speaker 1: so yeah, I find that, you know, listing all the

642
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 1: things on your obituary like a resume is extremely boring.

643
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 1: By the way, it's boring to write too. If I

644
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:45,800
Speaker 1: had somebody bring in like a resume, like an actual resume,

645
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:48,400
Speaker 1: and like, Okay, here's this my obituary. What am I

646
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:50,239
Speaker 1: going to do with this? Like list every job you

647
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 1: ever did? You know? Duh, he did this and then

648
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 1: he did this.

649
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 2: And if it's.

650
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 1: Boring, and really, I think every one of us is

651
00:40:57,239 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: so unique and formed, really formed by our relationships with

652
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 1: one another. And so I if I can give one

653
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 1: piece of advice, I guess it'd be this, use the

654
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:12,439
Speaker 1: word love in an obituary very sparingly. And I say

655
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,840
Speaker 1: this because the things we love are the things that

656
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,480
Speaker 1: last forever. Right. Love is a transcendental property. So the

657
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 1: things we love could be things like people or maybe ideas, right,

658
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 1: things that are big and the things that we like.

659
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 1: The nineteen thirty three World's Fair, for instance, as much

660
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 1: as I like it, I like art deco architecture, I

661
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,839
Speaker 1: have an affection for it, but it's not love. And

662
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 1: so I look back at some of the obituaries I

663
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 1: wrote years ago, maybe when I was first starting it.

664
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 1: Maybe something like Sandra loves her family, loves baking cookies,

665
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:51,919
Speaker 1: loves taking her dog for a walk, and like taking

666
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:53,919
Speaker 1: your dog for a walk is good. Don't get me wrong,

667
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 1: baking cookies is wonderful. But there's only really one of

668
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:59,239
Speaker 1: those things. You might properly love the rest. You have

669
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 1: an affection for it, and maybe we can talk about it,

670
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:05,360
Speaker 1: but that we can't. We don't want to form our

671
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:09,240
Speaker 1: whole memory of someone around the fact that they baked

672
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 1: bread or took their dog for a while, Right, it's

673
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 1: not really enough, So that'd be I guess if there's

674
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 1: one piece of advice, use the word love sparingly, because

675
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 1: it's the most important thing, and so when you use

676
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:25,720
Speaker 1: it for everything, it kind of loses its meaning. Fair fair.

677
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,799
Speaker 3: I know there's some cultures that have a meditation, like

678
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 3: a death meditation, and the more you do it, you

679
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 3: more focus on how important your life is now, and

680
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 3: you're more at peace maybe with death and dying. As

681
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:44,959
Speaker 3: far as planning our own funerals, is that something easy enough?

682
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 1: I haven't done it to do how would we do it?

683
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 3: And I think personally that might help us slip. Should

684
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,280
Speaker 3: dry it rightly, Yeah.

685
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 1: You should try. It's not hard. I actually just took

686
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 1: a phone call this morning. I've got someone coming to

687
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:02,080
Speaker 1: visit me tomorrow to plan a funeral mom, And on

688
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,320
Speaker 1: the phone, he actually asked the same question. I was

689
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 1: asked this question at nine o'clock this morning. It is

690
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:10,000
Speaker 1: it hard? You know, come in, have a cup of

691
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,879
Speaker 1: coffee for an hour. We can get everything figured out,

692
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:15,680
Speaker 1: because really all it is just talking to someone like

693
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 1: me about what you may or may not want and

694
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 1: getting maybe a little advice along the way or some

695
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 1: things to think about. But it's not hard. It's really

696
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 1: not hard. It's maybe just taking that first step of

697
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 1: calling your local undertaker or having to go into the funeral,

698
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 1: which I'll admit is scary. So I often make house calls.

699
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,319
Speaker 1: Whereas if someone wants to talk about this but they

700
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 1: don't want to come into the big, scary funeral home

701
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:42,360
Speaker 1: full of caskets and dead bodies, I'll just go to

702
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 1: their house and you know, sit down and chit chat

703
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:48,840
Speaker 1: for an hour. It's surprisingly easy and it costs you nothing.

704
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:52,320
Speaker 1: By the way, funeral homes do not charge for pre planning,

705
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: so it is free. Yeah, did you know that is.

706
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:57,799
Speaker 3: I did not know that.

707
00:43:58,200 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's good news.

708
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 3: And I know in the big picture, going through this

709
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,839
Speaker 3: with my own family sure would have been nice if

710
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 3: some things were spelled out a little clearer with its passings.

711
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 1: You know, discussing that is hard, isn't it? It is? Yeah.

712
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 3: I can already tell Victor that I want to watch

713
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,719
Speaker 3: things on your YouTube channel. You get all kinds of

714
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:24,239
Speaker 3: shorts and read your book, which I kindly i'm a

715
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 3: copy of. Tell us more about your book, what's on

716
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,320
Speaker 3: your website? How we should find out more?

717
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I am. I've become a very reluctant face

718
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 1: of funeral service. I guess if you could call it that.

719
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 1: I've never actually set out to do any of this.

720
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 1: It all just kind of fell into my lap. So

721
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,359
Speaker 1: the big Wired video that went viral some years ago,

722
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 1: they just found me on the internet after I ended

723
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,919
Speaker 1: up in a newspaper article that a guy wrote about

724
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:53,279
Speaker 1: me because I buried his father in law and then

725
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 1: made this Big Wired. I didn't even even know who

726
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 1: Wired was when I made it, right, I just I'm

727
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:58,920
Speaker 1: a luddite. I just sit at home and mind my

728
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 1: own business and you know, work with the living and

729
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:05,919
Speaker 1: the dead. So yeah, stumbled into like viral fame, didn't

730
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 1: really know how to capitalize on it, didn't really want

731
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 1: to capitalize on it, to be honest, And so I realized,

732
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 1: after people were just clamoring for reality TV and all

733
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,319
Speaker 1: these other things, that if I wrote a book, at

734
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 1: least I could talk to you how I want to

735
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 1: talk to you, instead of having a narrative arc made

736
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:27,359
Speaker 1: by a reality TV person. So then I stumbled into

737
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,799
Speaker 1: this book. I worked on it for a couple of years.

738
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 1: But really, if I could tell you, so, my book

739
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 1: is called Now Departing, And if I could, if I

740
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 1: could just succinctly sum it up, I would say it's this.

741
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 1: I'd say it's soft philosophy and a memoir wrapped up

742
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: in storytelling. So it's there's a I hope a philosophical

743
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 1: component and maybe some practical things along the way about

744
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 1: how do you write no obituary, how do you plan funeral?

745
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 1: What should you expect when XYZ happens? But the philosophical

746
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:03,319
Speaker 1: part is interesting, and I've had people ask, you know,

747
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 1: was it intentional? Right? Did you mean to? And I

748
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 1: don't think it's preachy, but it just comes out, because

749
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,400
Speaker 1: when you talk about this place where the living and

750
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:14,839
Speaker 1: the dead right, and the difference between being a dead

751
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 1: body and having a soul, you will naturally have philosophical discussion.

752
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 1: There's no way around it. So it's really beautiful and

753
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 1: it's just kind of come about as total happenstance, and

754
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:27,879
Speaker 1: I'm just really taking it as it comes and trying

755
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 1: not to get too wrapped up in it. I hope

756
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 1: people read it and like it. I hope it brings

757
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:35,360
Speaker 1: some peace, because that's really the whole point of the job,

758
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 1: isn't it to help bring peace and try to make

759
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:42,239
Speaker 1: people feel comfortable. And so if my book can do that,

760
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 1: you know, while maybe having some grim realities along the way,

761
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 1: then I guess I've succeeded. In your podcast, And the

762
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 1: podcast is called Death, and that's a little lighter we

763
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 1: I've got a group of friends and I that are

764
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:58,319
Speaker 1: making it, and basically every episode we want to have

765
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:03,360
Speaker 1: death and something else, preferably unrelated. So we've had death

766
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,479
Speaker 1: and storytelling, or I'm hoping to have a death and

767
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 1: bee keeping if I can swing it, you know, But

768
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 1: just find different guests to come on and share with

769
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:13,960
Speaker 1: me their weird little world, and then I'll share with

770
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,879
Speaker 1: them my weird little world, and we'll find out where

771
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 1: those two things meet, because inevitably every bit of life

772
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 1: is going to intersect with death, and so it's just

773
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: a matter of stiffing that out and having some really good,

774
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 1: thoughtful and sometimes light and sometimes deep conversation along the way.

775
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 3: I don't know why I thought death and tacos.

776
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:38,280
Speaker 1: It could be done. Fine. It was really enthusiastic about tacos,

777
00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 1: and we'll do it, because that's that's really the thing is.

778
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,360
Speaker 1: I realized early on that I don't know if I

779
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 1: want to talk to people about other about death. I mean,

780
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 1: I talk to all the death all the time. I

781
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 1: don't need to have guests talking about death and terrible

782
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:53,880
Speaker 1: grim things like. I just want to talk about coffee

783
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 1: and vegetables and you know, chairs, and we can figure

784
00:47:57,040 --> 00:48:00,239
Speaker 1: out where death inter sex. I love that. Yeah.

785
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:02,760
Speaker 3: When I wrote my book, I was very clear, whatever

786
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 3: I write on, you're going to talk about it for

787
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:08,240
Speaker 3: the rest of your life. And while grief is something

788
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 3: definitely that's the foundation of it all of course, and

789
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:14,799
Speaker 3: the afterlife, it really truly is how to live life

790
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:19,239
Speaker 3: powerfully while we're here. Absolutely Victor, I want to be

791
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,399
Speaker 3: respectful of your time because you got work to do.

792
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for being our guest today, Sandra. No,

793
00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:28,840
Speaker 3: I'm just so tickled you reached out to me in

794
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:31,319
Speaker 3: the first place. No, I really admire what you're doing

795
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 3: because I don't know.

796
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:35,000
Speaker 1: I don't know if people talk about the what's next

797
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:38,520
Speaker 1: often enough, and as someone who just sees it play

798
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:41,640
Speaker 1: out all the time, I think it's an important discussion.

799
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 3: Again. You can find Victor at victormsweeney dot com. And

800
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:48,760
Speaker 3: I'm just chuckling to myself as I hear his words

801
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 3: that talking about what comes next is not spoken about

802
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 3: a lot, and I actually feel it's the opposite. Talking

803
00:48:56,200 --> 00:49:03,040
Speaker 3: about actual death, dying, funeral homes, embalming, burial versus cremation.

804
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 3: It's not spoken about a lot, and you know, it's

805
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 3: easy to ignore it, but it's going to be real

806
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,480
Speaker 3: for all of us, and those of us who have

807
00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:16,520
Speaker 3: had family members pass you know just how difficult it is.

808
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:21,000
Speaker 3: I've done a lot of afterlife exploration, and as great

809
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 3: as stories are, the afterlife and talking about it has

810
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 3: become normal. And I know for Victor he's worked with hundreds,

811
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:33,279
Speaker 3: if not thousands, of bodies and it's become normal. So

812
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 3: I like how he says update and obituary every year,

813
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,840
Speaker 3: And if we can make this part of death normal,

814
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:43,759
Speaker 3: then I think it can help us live a powerful

815
00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 3: life while we're here. Does that make sense?

816
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:46,799
Speaker 1: I hope.

817
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:50,479
Speaker 3: So, although I'm not afraid of death, I'm not really

818
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 3: interested in how I'm going to get there because I

819
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:56,319
Speaker 3: do believe in the afterlife. So I hope this conversation

820
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 3: has made a difference with you today. Hey, I have

821
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 3: a favorite ask if you're willing, I've taken on a

822
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 3: project of making a short one minute video clip on

823
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 3: every podcast episode I have here on shades of the

824
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 3: afterlife and posting them on every social media site if

825
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:17,680
Speaker 3: you wouldn't mind. If you find one that's interesting to you,

826
00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 3: press the share button. Bringing this conversation and comforting people

827
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 3: about life and death in the afterlife is.

828
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:25,239
Speaker 1: What I want to do.

829
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 3: Also, remember to come visit me at we Don't Die

830
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:32,200
Speaker 3: dot Com every Sunday. I host that free Sunday gathering

831
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:36,520
Speaker 3: inspirational service with medium demonstration included at the bottom of

832
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 3: the page. There We Don't Die dot Com, fill out

833
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,800
Speaker 3: your name and email address, you get a free copy

834
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:45,399
Speaker 3: of my book and other goodies. Our time today is over,

835
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 3: my friend, I do look forward to our next episode.

836
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:52,719
Speaker 3: I'm Sandra Champlain. Thank you so much for listening to

837
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 3: Shades of the Afterlife on the iHeartRadio and Coastcoast AM

838
00:50:57,719 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 3: Paranormal Podcast Network.

839
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening to the iHeartRadio and Coast to Coast

840
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 2: A and Paranormal Podcast Network. Make sure and check out

841
00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:17,799
Speaker 2: all our shows on the iHeartRadio app or by going

842
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:24,319
Speaker 2: to iHeartRadio dot com.