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Speaker 1: Hi everybody, This is Easton. I am the Engineer here

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Speaker 1: on the Almost Famous Podcast. First of all, thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for listening to the show and your support

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Speaker 1: over the last couple of years. We really appreciate it

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Speaker 1: and we have so much fun doing this show. Um. So,

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Speaker 1: it's the holiday season, we're going into the new year. Uh,

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Speaker 1: we thought it would be kind of fun to um

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Speaker 1: relive one of our favorite shows from this last year. Uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, to to kind of look back on everything,

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Speaker 1: all the exciting stuff that's happened in Bachelor Nation over

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Speaker 1: over the last twelve months. Uh. So, we wanted to

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Speaker 1: give you a special presentation of our in depth episode

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Speaker 1: with our favorite Dean Unglert Deanie Babies. Uh. It was

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Speaker 1: a really deep episode. It took a lot of twists

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Speaker 1: and turns, and we're really excited to bring that to

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Speaker 1: you again as we head into the new year. But

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Speaker 1: don't forget, The Bachelor is coming back January six, and

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Speaker 1: we will be ready for it. We're gonna have Pilot

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Speaker 1: Pete here on the Almost Famous Podcast. Ben and Ashley

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Speaker 1: will have all the exclusives, all the behind the scenes,

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Speaker 1: everything you possibly want to know about Pilot Pete's sure

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Speaker 1: to be turbulent season as he takes off to a

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Speaker 1: journey of love through the skies. But anyway, we'll see

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Speaker 1: you back here at January six for that special interview.

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Speaker 1: But right now, please enjoy a special holiday version of

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Speaker 1: In Depth with Dean Anglert on the Almost Famous podcast

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Speaker 1: This is Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous in Depth. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you feel like he sits at home very sixty minutes. Um.

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Speaker 1: In Depth has been one of our favorite projects that

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Speaker 1: we've ever done, uh, the Almost Famous podcasts. It's actually

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Speaker 1: I was talking about it the other day. It's probably

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Speaker 1: my favorite project I've ever done since The Bachelor. Um,

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Speaker 1: here's the reason why we get to sit for as

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Speaker 1: long as we want, as long as we need with

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Speaker 1: people from The Bachelor, Bachelor at talking about their life,

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Speaker 1: what they've been through, who they are becoming, who they are,

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Speaker 1: what's made him who they are, any stances they take

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Speaker 1: on life. We just like to dig deep and then

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Speaker 1: you the listener, get to know them better. Well. A

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Speaker 1: few weeks ago, we started a poll and it's it's

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Speaker 1: ironic in a sense, And I want to tell you why.

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Speaker 1: We started a poll that said, who would you like

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Speaker 1: to hear from and all of Bachelor Nation, and we'll

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Speaker 1: bring him into studio and we'll do it in depth

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Speaker 1: with them. Well, you would expect, probably from that poll,

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Speaker 1: that the most popular person from Bachelor Nation would be chosen. Well,

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Speaker 1: the ironic piece of all this is the person that

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Speaker 1: was chosen does not believe that he is the most

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Speaker 1: popular person. He probably never has believed he is the

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Speaker 1: most popular person. He actually um. I think, as we

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Speaker 1: talked to today, will be will make fun at some

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Speaker 1: point of the fact that he was chosen. He'll he'll

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Speaker 1: he'll make some comment that diminishes it. But the truth

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Speaker 1: is this Dean Anglet was chosen in a landslide, and

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Speaker 1: I think there's a reason why it's one because, yes,

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Speaker 1: Dean is charming, but charm can't be deceit. What Dean

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Speaker 1: is is he's deep, he's real, um, he cares um.

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Speaker 1: He he doesn't uh just walk past real situations, he

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Speaker 1: walks into them. And he's had his ups and downs,

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Speaker 1: as we'll talk about in the podcast today. But but

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Speaker 1: you get to know Dean because you spend time with Dean,

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Speaker 1: and I think there's a relatability Dean that has not

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Speaker 1: only made America go this guy's got something more and

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Speaker 1: I like it. But it also doesn't hurt that he's

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Speaker 1: absolutely beautiful, but he's so much more. Dean, thanks for

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Speaker 1: coming in, Hey, thanks for having Thanks for that last

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Speaker 1: little cherry on top. You know, it's always great when

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Speaker 1: somebody gives you a really good compliment that like and

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Speaker 1: I think you would appreciate being called real And then

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Speaker 1: how like much doesn't make you cringe when somebody's like,

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Speaker 1: and you're beautiful. Honestly, that was my favorite part about

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Speaker 1: the whole because it's like, oh, he's he walks into

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Speaker 1: the situations and I'm just like, I'm a little uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: But then you sprinkle on that he's good looking. I'm like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is all a joke, and now I understand. Now

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Speaker 1: I know it's true. Um, Dean, how do we meet?

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Speaker 1: You and I met for the very first time. Actually,

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Speaker 1: we we could have met at a wine store in

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Speaker 1: Low Highlands in Denver. I think I told you the story.

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Speaker 1: I was with my best friend and his girlfriend. We

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Speaker 1: walked in to buy some wine to watch some I

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Speaker 1: don't remember football maybe or something like that. But my

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Speaker 1: season Bachelor hadn't aired. In fact, it I had just

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Speaker 1: finished filming and I was in Colorado. I didn't even

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Speaker 1: see you, but my friend's girlfriend was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: that was Ben Higgins. I just walked by and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, I should have said hi, but we

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Speaker 1: didn't get a chance to. I don't remember how we

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Speaker 1: met for the very first time, though. I think one

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Speaker 1: of the very first times, and this is funny, is

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Speaker 1: I was sitting at breakfast on a date. Yeah. Well no,

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Speaker 1: we had known each other at that point though, because

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Speaker 1: I remember I stopped and I was like, oh, hey Ben, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well that's funny that you say it like that. I

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Speaker 1: actually said Dean, and you kind of like kept walking like,

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Speaker 1: oh what's up, dude, Oh yeah, you're right, yeah, and

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Speaker 1: it's kind of kept going. Okay in my defense, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so Ben was on a date at breakfast and I

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Speaker 1: was like randomly walking with a couple of friends and

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Speaker 1: I hear my name called and this is like fresh

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Speaker 1: off the show, so like you kind of get that

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Speaker 1: a lot, you know, And I look over and I

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Speaker 1: see this tall dude, like you were kind of like

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Speaker 1: standing in the shadows a little bit, and you were

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Speaker 1: wearing wearing like a flat build hat forwards and like

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Speaker 1: low on your head, which I had never really seen

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Speaker 1: you wear anything like that before, and like maybe your

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Speaker 1: facial hair was a little different, and I just didn't

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Speaker 1: know who you were for the first like thirty seconds

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Speaker 1: of talking to you. It's fine, We're fine, But what's

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Speaker 1: happened with Diana and I is Dena and I and

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Speaker 1: I'd like to say this, Please tell me if I'm wrong.

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Speaker 1: We met and we became friends pretty quickly, and we

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Speaker 1: got a real friendship, like one that uh is not.

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Speaker 1: We don't do any events together really remind me. I

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Speaker 1: think the first time we met was in Tahoe when

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Speaker 1: we were doing podcast stuff it might be, and we

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Speaker 1: got to spend time together. We got to talk about life,

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Speaker 1: and what I what treats me about you is that

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Speaker 1: you're not afraid to talk about some of the like

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Speaker 1: the depths of life. You don't you don't run away

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Speaker 1: when somebody wants to bring up something that's that's heavy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think sometimes I struggle to feel the empathy that

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Speaker 1: you're able to possess. But I think that something I've

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Speaker 1: learned as of lately over the past two or three

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Speaker 1: years or so is leaning into those difficult conversations can

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Speaker 1: be fun and and growth oriented, you know what I mean, Uh,

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Speaker 1: something that didn't really know for a very long time.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I agree. I think it's fun to have

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Speaker 1: those conversations. You learn a lot about yourself, you gotta

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Speaker 1: learn a lot a lot about other people. So I'm

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Speaker 1: a little envious you gotta do this, uh in depth

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Speaker 1: on this show with Ashley, because I'm like, oh, it

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Speaker 1: sounds like a fun thing to want to be able

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Speaker 1: to get this. This is a blast. It makes this

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Speaker 1: feel like it's real, Like this is there's no agenda this,

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Speaker 1: I have no notes on where to go with this.

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Speaker 1: It's it's wherever we want to take it. Is it

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Speaker 1: hard for I wonder if this will be difficult for

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Speaker 1: you because you basically know me in and out right,

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Speaker 1: so you know what questions you want to ask. But also,

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Speaker 1: it's not like there's no novelty to you to like

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Speaker 1: learn about me as we go on, because you already

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Speaker 1: know everything. No, that's not true. So here's the thing

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Speaker 1: I told as I was prepping for this, I was

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Speaker 1: talking to a buddy of mine saying, they get to

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Speaker 1: do this today, and I said, here's one of the

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Speaker 1: cool parts is how often you get to sit down

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Speaker 1: with your friend, no matter how will you know them

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Speaker 1: and you get to ask them questions and they can't

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Speaker 1: run away from it, and they can't turn it back

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Speaker 1: on you because you like to turn it back on

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Speaker 1: me as quick as you can. But I'm hosting this

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Speaker 1: like this is this is my plane to fly, and

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Speaker 1: you've got to stay on board. And so you're gonna

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Speaker 1: have to walk through this with me. And so I

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Speaker 1: think I'll get to know or hear things that I've

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Speaker 1: always wondered that it's never been appropriate to ask, you know.

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Speaker 1: But also bear in mind that the reason that I'm

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Speaker 1: able to open up to you so much is because

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Speaker 1: I'm able to direct the conversation in certain ways and

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Speaker 1: feel comfortable through misdirection like that. And so I wonder

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Speaker 1: if me not being able to deflect the conversation back

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Speaker 1: to you will shut me off at all. We'll see, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we'll see. It's gonna be a fun ride. Dean Angler

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Speaker 1: in studio. Dean, let's dive in right away. Sure, you

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Speaker 1: just said something, um that I think is is how

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Speaker 1: I want to start this. You said you're unable to

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Speaker 1: um feel the empathy that that I would be in

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Speaker 1: deep conversations or painful conversation. Huh uh, take me out

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Speaker 1: of it for a second. Why do you immediately say

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Speaker 1: that about yourself? That, uh, that I lack empathy. UM.

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Speaker 1: It's something that I've kind of become more aware of

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Speaker 1: as time moves on, and it's been kind of an

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Speaker 1: im uh an issue, not an issue, but like a

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Speaker 1: hurdle of sorts in past relationships. I remember I had

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Speaker 1: this girlfriend in college. He was like, you like, don't

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Speaker 1: feel things, you never feel any sort of way. And

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Speaker 1: I remember I was like watching something on Netflix and

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Speaker 1: I texted her. I was like, hey, I think I

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Speaker 1: just cried. I watched something on Netflix, Like are you

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Speaker 1: proud of me? And she goes, oh my gosh, things

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Speaker 1: are changing. UM, I don't know. I think that I

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Speaker 1: just kind of grown numb to that stuff. And it's

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Speaker 1: like hard for me, just like my viewpoint on life,

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Speaker 1: like you know that UM foundationally or like our our

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Speaker 1: root values are a little different, similar but different, right,

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Speaker 1: Like you get your values from different places that I do. UM,

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Speaker 1: And I think part of where I've drawn my values from,

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Speaker 1: it's like it's like a numbing thing, like I draw

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Speaker 1: like I'm an nihilist. You know, like I don't think

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Speaker 1: that life has any meaning, but I think that the

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Speaker 1: beauty and life not having meaning is that everything has

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Speaker 1: value in it. And so I think, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: having conversations with people and getting like to dive into

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Speaker 1: who they are and got to do this in depth.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's like be nice to people because life

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Speaker 1: is meaningless versus you is You're like, be nice to

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Speaker 1: people because it's just like the right thing to do,

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Speaker 1: and like you have your like your faith and all

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Speaker 1: that kind of stuff, you know what I mean. So

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Speaker 1: I think the the uh product is the same, but

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Speaker 1: the process is a little bit different for us. And

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Speaker 1: I think that the process is different for me is

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Speaker 1: because I just I don't know, I've been through some

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Speaker 1: stuff with my mom obviously, with my friends and with

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Speaker 1: my family and all that, and I don't want to

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Speaker 1: like ever blame the way that I am because of

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Speaker 1: any of those things. But I think that has obviously

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Speaker 1: like a bit of a h it's like a bit

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Speaker 1: of reason for it, right. I don't know your store was.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you'd say accurately told during your

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Speaker 1: time on the Bachelor, but you definitely had a story

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Speaker 1: that was told. Um, it wasn't inaccurately told. I mean, obviously,

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Speaker 1: it's like you're not gonna have every uh every little

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Speaker 1: crevice and crack of your story shown, right, Like, I'm

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Speaker 1: sure when you were on the show, it's not like

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Speaker 1: it was Ben Higgins. It was a shadow or a

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Speaker 1: shell of yourself. But uh yeah, I mean they covered

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Speaker 1: like the main points, you know, like my mom passing,

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Speaker 1: my family kind of falling apart, and that was basically it.

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Speaker 1: But tell me if I'm wrong, I just as I've

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Speaker 1: got to know you better, I feel. I mean, watching

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Speaker 1: those moments back and and seeing that now on national television,

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Speaker 1: was it uncomfortable? Um? It was uncomfortable. It was the

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Speaker 1: first time I had ever like watched myself back, right,

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Speaker 1: So it's always gonna be uncomfortable. On top of that,

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Speaker 1: I was like I was drinking to like cope with

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Speaker 1: the discomfort, right, And so I didn't while we were filming, right,

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Speaker 1: So I didn't necessarily like I know exactly how I

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Speaker 1: would come across having been like a little buzz or

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Speaker 1: something like that. Right, Like, normally when you're when you're

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Speaker 1: drinking in your buzz and you go out to the

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Speaker 1: bars and you like say something silly like that's the

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Speaker 1: only time that you have to deal with that, right,

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Speaker 1: But when you're do it on TV, you have to

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Speaker 1: deal with it a second time when you watch it back. Um.

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Speaker 1: So there was like a little bit of anxiety written

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Speaker 1: because I was like, Okay, like what how is this

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Speaker 1: going to come across? Like how am I gonna look like?

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Speaker 1: Am I gonna be coherent? Or am I gonna like

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Speaker 1: say the right things like that kind of stuff. So

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Speaker 1: that was a little anxiety inducing. Um. What's funny is

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Speaker 1: the fourth time around on the TV show, when I

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Speaker 1: didn't drink at all, I had I felt no anxiety,

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Speaker 1: you know, stress when you think that because I was

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Speaker 1: like I was completely in control of everything I was

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Speaker 1: doing and saying. So it's like I have nothing to

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Speaker 1: be afraid of, you know. Yeah, I totally get that.

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Speaker 1: When I was the Bachelor, I barely drunk. Drink it

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Speaker 1: all right smart? Um well yeah, but and also because

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Speaker 1: I had so much anxiety going into it, I couldn't

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Speaker 1: just if I drink to cover it up and take

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Speaker 1: a lot of drinks. Um. And your schedule is exhausting,

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Speaker 1: so you're like, you know you're going to bet at

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Speaker 1: two am, waking up at seven am. Probably it's like

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Speaker 1: a constant hangover and it's not going to be fun.

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Speaker 1: I I watched your season without knowing you, UM, and

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Speaker 1: your your story during that time was it was deeper

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Speaker 1: than any other we've ever seen. I'd like to believe,

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Speaker 1: no way. I think the idea of you. I think

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Speaker 1: there was a moment when you laying on the floor

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Speaker 1: of your father's house with Rachel and everything had kind

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Speaker 1: of fallen out around you during that hometown date and

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Speaker 1: you were reminiscing on all the things that have happened

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Speaker 1: to lead you that point. I think there was a

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Speaker 1: moment there where, maybe just because I liked you already,

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Speaker 1: there was a depth to that moment that I felt

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Speaker 1: an emotion that I don't feel watching this show like

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Speaker 1: your life was was was being displayed in front of you.

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Speaker 1: Things were what happened during that day would have ramifications

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Speaker 1: past the show. So I want to know from you.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how in the world you end up

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Speaker 1: on this show, but during the like, as you watch

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Speaker 1: it back, are you glad you did it? Um? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that in hindsight, I'm super grateful that I

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Speaker 1: did it because not only what like, like have I

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Speaker 1: grown as an individual since the show, the first show

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Speaker 1: that I went on, but also just like seeing myself,

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Speaker 1: Like I said, I'm not much of an EmPATH, right, so,

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Speaker 1: like I don't feel things. But that first show that

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Speaker 1: I went on, when I cried for the first time

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Speaker 1: on camera, I was like looking back that night and

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, man, I'm gonna be look like

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Speaker 1: such a woos Like I shouldn't have cried. I'm so embarrassed. Um.

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Speaker 1: And then I remember one of the producers was like, man,

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Speaker 1: like people cry, Like as long as your story touches

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Speaker 1: one person, like you should consider it a success. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, that makes sense, that's sense, I guess.

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Speaker 1: But then watching it back, I was like so worried

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Speaker 1: my friends were gonna, like, you know, make fun of

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Speaker 1: me and like whatever as a guy crying on TV.

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Speaker 1: But even just that small little thing, like I guess

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Speaker 1: provide a lot of growth for me to be like, okay,

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Speaker 1: like it's okay to feel things. It's okay to like

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Speaker 1: be vulnerable and to like be upset and be sad

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Speaker 1: and cry, which I never really felt before. Um, And

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Speaker 1: that's obviously something I'm still working on. It's not like

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Speaker 1: it's gonna happen overnight. Um, But that in and of itself,

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Speaker 1: just that first episode where it was Rachel and I

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Speaker 1: in um, Hilton Head, South Carolina or North Carolina. I

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Speaker 1: don't remember exactly what Carolina was, but I remember I

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Speaker 1: cried on that date. I told about my mom, etcetera.

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Speaker 1: And uh, yeah, I was like worried about it. But

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Speaker 1: then watching it back, like the outpouring of support from everyone,

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Speaker 1: even my friends who are reaching out to me. They

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Speaker 1: were like because even before that, like before I went

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Speaker 1: on the show, like even some of my closest friends

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Speaker 1: didn't even know that I, you know, lost my mom

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Speaker 1: at a young age or whatever it was. And they

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Speaker 1: watched the show and they're like, holy calic. I didn't

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Speaker 1: know this. And it was just something that I had

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Speaker 1: never really wanted to share with anyone because I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to feel receive any sympathy or like preferential treatment

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Speaker 1: because they felt bad for me something like that. You know, so, Um,

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Speaker 1: but wouldn't you here's the part that and this is

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Speaker 1: where I want to pause you. This is what I

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Speaker 1: don't get is wouldn't you want people to fully know you, like,

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Speaker 1: these are your friends that you're worried about if they're

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Speaker 1: gonna make fun of you because you cry, yet they

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Speaker 1: don't know you, And like, getting to know you as

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Speaker 1: a friend is is honestly sometimes impossible personally or just

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Speaker 1: generally generally, I would say, And like if if you're

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Speaker 1: good friends, some of your closest friends don't know that

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Speaker 1: your mom had passed at a young age, something that

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Speaker 1: is a pivotal moment in your life for every reason,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Just like as a twenty five year

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Speaker 1: old guy, you're you know, you're making new friends, you're

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Speaker 1: like going out. It's just not really something that you

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Speaker 1: bring up in conversation, even like if you have an

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Speaker 1: opportunity to bring it up, it's just not something that

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Speaker 1: I ever really cared to be Like, hey, by the way,

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Speaker 1: like you know this happened to me when I was

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Speaker 1: fifteen or A big part of it too was I

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Speaker 1: didn't want any like I said, I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: receive sympathy or preferential treatment for it. I didn't want

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Speaker 1: anyone to I didn't want to be like liked for

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Speaker 1: liked because of the things that had happened to me.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be liked because of the person I

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Speaker 1: am now, not the things that had happened to me

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Speaker 1: in the past, I think, and I just never really

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Speaker 1: took it on myself to be like, yeah, like this

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Speaker 1: is my story, you know, and a lot of people too,

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Speaker 1: especially me, Like, I don't feel like my story is

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Speaker 1: wholly unique. I don't think that my story is like

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Speaker 1: worth sharing. I like kind of like began to turn

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Speaker 1: around that a little bit. Obviously, having a podcast and

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Speaker 1: meeting people like you, uh, it kind of like makes

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Speaker 1: you feel like every story is special in its own way, Like,

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Speaker 1: sure it's unique, um, but every story is worth being

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Speaker 1: heard as well. And that's like taking some time to

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Speaker 1: come around on. But even now it's like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I don't it's hard. It's hard to say, really,

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Speaker 1: I guess about why I didn't open up about that

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Speaker 1: part of my life, you know, And it was such

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Speaker 1: a long time ago, and it's like, obviously, the between

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Speaker 1: fifteen and twenty five is when I went on the show.

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Speaker 1: Those ten years are like some of the most transformative

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Speaker 1: years of your life, and so I didn't even really

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Speaker 1: associate my current self with my past self when I

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Speaker 1: was fifteen, So it's just like, there's no point really

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Speaker 1: diving into that side of it. I guess have you

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Speaker 1: at all resented? Um? Because as I listen to you

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Speaker 1: talk here, you know, I get it. I get that

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Speaker 1: you when you're twenty five, you're going out, you know,

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Speaker 1: to the bar, as you meeting new friends. It's not

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Speaker 1: on the topic that's going to come up. But now

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Speaker 1: that it's happened, people know that about you. Um, they

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Speaker 1: know that at a young age your mother had passed

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Speaker 1: that you're all are you? Are you all resentful? That

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Speaker 1: that's brought up so often now? Yeah, I don't like

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Speaker 1: that people can use it as an excuse for like

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Speaker 1: my behavior or something like that. You know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: Explain more, tell me more. Like let's say, because I'm

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Speaker 1: obviously I make a lot of bad decisions in life.

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Speaker 1: I think we all do, mean maybe more so than others.

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Speaker 1: But sometimes I see the case being made like, oh,

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Speaker 1: he had a heart upbringing, so like let's give him

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Speaker 1: a pass on this. You know, I don't like hearing that.

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Speaker 1: I don't necessarily think that just because my mom died

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Speaker 1: when I was fifteen, or my friend Hunter died when

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Speaker 1: I was ten, or Alex that when I was twenty one,

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Speaker 1: that like that gives me a pass on anything. Um.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't know, Like I just think it's

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Speaker 1: kind of I don't think that excuses any type of

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Speaker 1: bad behavior, you know what I mean. So I guess

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Speaker 1: maybe that's kind of why I stay quiet about it.

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Speaker 1: That's an anti victim mentality that you're taking. So like

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Speaker 1: you're saying, don't give me sympathy, don't don't lay off

390
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Speaker 1: of holding me accountable to live to being a greater

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Speaker 1: person because of the pains of my past. Though that's

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Speaker 1: not an excuse for you. I think it's a silly

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Speaker 1: thing to think that it would be things like who

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Speaker 1: whatever I wanted? People use that excuses, Yeah, but no

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Speaker 1: one wants that like you should You shouldn't really have

396
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Speaker 1: excuses and be it shouldn't be for anything that happened

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Speaker 1: to you in the past. Like, I don't know, I

398
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Speaker 1: just think it's silly. It's like, Okay, that was a

399
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Speaker 1: long time ago, a b even if it was like

400
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Speaker 1: that should encourage you to do things maybe better or differently. Um.

401
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Speaker 1: And so I would never like I would never be like,

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Speaker 1: oh I'm sorry that I did this, But when I

403
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Speaker 1: was younger, like this happened to me, and so now

404
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Speaker 1: I feel this way and that's what's making me act

405
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Speaker 1: like this. You know what I mean? Does that make sense?

406
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Speaker 1: I I it completely makes sense to me. It's not common.

407
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Speaker 1: It's the thought process of don't use my pass as

408
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Speaker 1: an excuses not common. I think it should be more common. Fair,

409
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Speaker 1: you can you can think that it's just not so

410
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Speaker 1: when when you sit here and you tell me, then

411
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Speaker 1: let me, let me try to get to the bottom

412
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Speaker 1: of this. What role did your past and the traumatic

413
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Speaker 1: situations in your life that did change the course of direction?

414
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Speaker 1: What role do they play in your life now? I

415
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Speaker 1: don't think if they're not an excuse, I don't think

416
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Speaker 1: they play any role in my life. I mean, sure

417
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Speaker 1: they've there. They were of all stepping stones that like

418
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Speaker 1: every time does something happened to me, you know, you

419
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Speaker 1: have to come out the other side of it. But

420
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Speaker 1: I don't think that. I don't know. It's hard to say, Like,

421
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Speaker 1: obviously I'm a product of all of the experience that

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Speaker 1: I've had as a person, right, and I would be

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Speaker 1: a completely different person had none of those things ever happened,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of the good things in my life

425
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Speaker 1: that have happened are in a weird way, like because

426
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Speaker 1: of those things, those bad things, Right, So I would

427
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,560
Speaker 1: never say that I'm I'm not who I am because

428
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:26,119
Speaker 1: of those things. But they don't have like any bearing

429
00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:28,120
Speaker 1: on my day to day life, you know, like I don't.

430
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:33,399
Speaker 1: I think they do at least. Yeah. I think one

431
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,280
Speaker 1: of the things that has always amazed me about you

432
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,800
Speaker 1: is that your thought process in these moments like this,

433
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 1: because if you really do believe that, and it's it's

434
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,640
Speaker 1: pretty it's it's pretty true for you that you don't

435
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:48,399
Speaker 1: use these things that have like definitely hurt, that have

436
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,480
Speaker 1: caused tears, that have caused confusion, that have shaken your

437
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,959
Speaker 1: world view up. You don't use those as excuses for

438
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 1: what you're doing today. They're they're pivotal points, they're they're

439
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,720
Speaker 1: foundational holding stones, as you call them, But they aren't

440
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,840
Speaker 1: excuses for Hey, because my mom is past, that's why

441
00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 1: I am doing X y Z. So I want to

442
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,159
Speaker 1: shift gears here because it's not fair for me and

443
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,679
Speaker 1: I don't really know what would be talked about when

444
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:16,159
Speaker 1: it comes to these bad decisions. What bad decisions are

445
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,360
Speaker 1: people talking about? When it comes to you that they're

446
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,159
Speaker 1: dismissing your behavior because of your past. I don't know,

447
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,040
Speaker 1: you see a lot of Like obviously I've got not

448
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,920
Speaker 1: the most successful dating history, right, So it's like I

449
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,639
Speaker 1: would never like now that I'm dating Kalin, Right, I

450
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 1: would never like if I lose my temper, which obviously

451
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 1: doesn't happen very often, if ever, but I would never

452
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 1: blame a bad decision on something that happened to me

453
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,960
Speaker 1: back then because of that, Like, like, so you lose

454
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,880
Speaker 1: your temper, right, I'm like, Oh, I'm upset, but it's

455
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 1: okay because my mom's dead. Like that's just kind of

456
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 1: messed up, you know what I mean, Like, I would

457
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 1: never do that. That's kind of what I'm saying where

458
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 1: it's like, and I think it's why people I think

459
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,920
Speaker 1: it's why you're voted the one interview that every wants

460
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,119
Speaker 1: to here because I think you are unique in it.

461
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,880
Speaker 1: I don't think you're alone in that, and I don't

462
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,280
Speaker 1: think you're wrong in it. But I Dean, I think

463
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:09,160
Speaker 1: what intrigues people about you is that mindset, because yes,

464
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 1: you've done things like we all have, that have been

465
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 1: considered mistakes or maybe have hurt people in the process.

466
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,160
Speaker 1: Or hurt yourself in the process. But you don't look

467
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 1: at those situations. And this is the beautiful thing about

468
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:20,160
Speaker 1: having being a friend of yours is you don't look

469
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:24,200
Speaker 1: at those situations and blame anything but yourself. You take

470
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 1: ownership for it. Everybody out there watching goes there's something

471
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:33,399
Speaker 1: freeing about that that I want to know more about.

472
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,720
Speaker 1: And I wanta know where that comes from. I don't

473
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:39,199
Speaker 1: know where it comes from. I wish I could know

474
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 1: where it comes from. Confidence. I don't think there's I

475
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,720
Speaker 1: don't I don't know. I don't know if I'm the

476
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 1: most confident person in the world. Maybe inwardly, but I

477
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 1: don't think I expressed. I don't know. Do what am

478
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,400
Speaker 1: I confident? I suppose maybe sometimes tory is not even heard. Yes,

479
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:57,159
Speaker 1: I guess so um. I honestly, I really don't know.

480
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 1: I haven't really put too much thought into why that

481
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 1: is that way I think again, it boils back down.

482
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 1: So I mean, when I was a kid, up until

483
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,399
Speaker 1: I was about thirteen or fourteen, we were pretty like

484
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 1: devoutly Presbyterian. We went to Sunday School and Sunday Church

485
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 1: every every week up until my mom got really really

486
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 1: sick and we had like this good foundational, um religious

487
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,640
Speaker 1: aspect to our family, even though like the kids, as

488
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 1: most kids do, they hate to go to church on Sundays,

489
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 1: but my parents wanted to do. It was like an

490
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 1: hour drive every day every Sunday. I'm sorry, um. And

491
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:29,639
Speaker 1: then I went to college. I kind of like shed

492
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 1: all of that and I became for like three years

493
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 1: or something, I was like this like steadfastly atheist in

494
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,080
Speaker 1: college and I was like, God, isn't real that all

495
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,959
Speaker 1: this is just bogus whatever. Um. I've kind of come

496
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,879
Speaker 1: around on that a little bit since then, but I

497
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,399
Speaker 1: think that those years in college, I was kind of

498
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: just like very heavily nihilistic as well, and I was

499
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:52,119
Speaker 1: just like nothing matters. All of the past is the past,

500
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:53,879
Speaker 1: the future is the future, and there's no reason to

501
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 1: like let the past have any dictation on your future self, right,

502
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:58,880
Speaker 1: And so I think that's kind of where I took

503
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:02,160
Speaker 1: that mentality from. And even in college, like I remember

504
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 1: I was dating this girl when I was a sophomore.

505
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:07,640
Speaker 1: We had been dating for like ten months or something

506
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 1: like that, and I had just moved into a house

507
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,160
Speaker 1: and with that moving, I had like a shoe box

508
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 1: that I had like a bunch of old pictures and

509
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 1: stuff in and like letters and all that kind of

510
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 1: stuff that I'd like never told anyone about, and she

511
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 1: like was moving with with me and we like opened

512
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 1: it together, and she was like, oh my gosh, like

513
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 1: I'm finally getting like a peek into you as a

514
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,439
Speaker 1: child or like you're older, you know, like some of

515
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 1: your memories and like something that I've never really shared before.

516
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 1: I guess that's just I've never really associated uh like

517
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 1: past self with either present or future self, um for

518
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:35,560
Speaker 1: better for worse. Like what you're able to do with

519
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 1: your platform is like you're building things right, And maybe

520
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 1: I guess like I'm ashamed of who I am now

521
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 1: or who I'm going to be, And so that's kind

522
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:43,880
Speaker 1: of why I like kind of keep things under wraps

523
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 1: a little bit. Um. I don't know. I guess I

524
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 1: haven't really like de held much too much deeper much

525
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 1: into that. If you just noticed their Dean's really get it,

526
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: like quietly turning it back on me for just a second.

527
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 1: It's really great. It's a really good skills that he has.

528
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 1: But we're not gonna let it happen today. Um, We're

529
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 1: gonna take a break here and when we get back,

530
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 1: I want to talk to Dean. I want to start

531
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:09,120
Speaker 1: the beginning how in the world UH is Dean? Ungle?

532
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,360
Speaker 1: Who he is? And then also how does he get

533
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:15,479
Speaker 1: on the show? Because it just doesn't make sense. You're

534
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,120
Speaker 1: gonna hear the end of the podcast. Uh An interview

535
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 1: with Bob Dalton. Bob Dalton, I both have started small businesses. UH.

536
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,119
Speaker 1: Part of starting a small business is also hiring the

537
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 1: team around you. Actually, when somebody asks me, okay, how

538
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 1: do you make a small business work? My response is

539
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 1: always I never make it work. It's the team we

540
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 1: have that makes us work. You want to surround yourself

541
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,400
Speaker 1: with the best people, and that's why I use zip Recruiter.

542
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 1: Hiring can be a challenge, as Quotable co founder Gretchen

543
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 1: Heabner discovered. Gretchen needed to hire a game artist for

544
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: her education tech company. She knew it wouldn't be easy

545
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,480
Speaker 1: to find someone to grow with her team. That's why

546
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:56,160
Speaker 1: she went to zip Recruiter. Like Gretchen, Generous also uses

547
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 1: zip Recruiter to help mind the most talented of people.

548
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 1: In fact, four Generous even started I was using zip recruiter.

549
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,640
Speaker 1: I was on zip recruiter to help me find jobs.

550
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 1: Zip recruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you, it finds

551
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 1: them for you. It's technology identifies people with the right

552
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 1: experience and invites them to apply to your job, so

553
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 1: you get qualified candidates fast. Gretchen posted her job on

554
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: zip recruiter, and she said she was so impressed with

555
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 1: how quickly she found qualified applicants. She also uses zip

556
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 1: recruiter screening questions to filter her candidates so she could

557
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:33,400
Speaker 1: focus on the best ones. And that's yes, that's how

558
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 1: Gretchen found a new game artist in less than two weeks. Hey,

559
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,680
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, if you want to hire the best

560
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 1: employees and surround yourself with the best people, zip recruiter

561
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 1: is the way to do it. With results like this,

562
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 1: it's no wonder. Four out of five employers who post

563
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:54,199
Speaker 1: on zip recruiter get a qualified quality candidate within the

564
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 1: first day. See why zip recruiter is effective for businesses

565
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 1: of all sizes. Try zip recruiter for re at zipp

566
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 1: recruiter dot com, back slash ben that zipp recooter dot

567
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 1: com backslash b e n zippercoiter dot com, slash ben

568
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 1: zippercruiter the smartest way to hire. Come back with Dean Angler. Dean,

569
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 1: let's start at the beginning. You're raised in Aspen, Colorado. Yeah, right,

570
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,679
Speaker 1: more but Salt Colorado. But Aspens the nearest town that

571
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 1: everyone knows, you know, close enough and pretty normal childhood. Yeah,

572
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 1: I suppose talk about it, and that is not it's

573
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 1: not convincing. I don't know if I know your childhood

574
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 1: very well at all. Where do you want to start

575
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 1: with the childhood exactly? Let's start at seven? Well, I

576
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 1: was six, Ben, Okay, it's a little backstory for the

577
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 1: listener out there. I can find it in Ben, a

578
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 1: story that I have only dressed recently open and started

579
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:53,880
Speaker 1: opening up about. Um. Actually not to long ago. Ashley

580
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 1: and Jared's wedding I think was the first time I

581
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 1: told you about it. It's one of the best We're

582
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,640
Speaker 1: gonna I'll help you here, though. You tell years, I'll

583
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,680
Speaker 1: tell myne well, And so I was gonna say that.

584
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 1: One of the reasons that I was able to open

585
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 1: up to Ben about this was because he has obviously

586
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 1: as warm and welcoming as he is. Not only was

587
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 1: he like receptive and empathetic, but he also had a

588
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:13,240
Speaker 1: very similar story of his own to share back with me,

589
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,120
Speaker 1: which only just helps us connect on a deeper level.

590
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: I think, right, I don't want to diminish how great

591
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:20,399
Speaker 1: this podcast is gonna be getting to know you. I

592
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 1: have a feeling that this will be the segment that

593
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 1: gets the most response. My heart's beating a little faster

594
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 1: than I thought about this story a lot, and I

595
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,360
Speaker 1: thought about how if I ever decided to share it publicly,

596
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 1: how I would go about doing it. I never thought

597
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,680
Speaker 1: that I would be sharing it on a podcast. Let's

598
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 1: do it. Um. So I was bullied a lot in

599
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 1: high school and middle school for one very specific read well, yeah,

600
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,639
Speaker 1: for one specific reason. Um. And I've only just started

601
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 1: sharing this story, probably within the past year, so I

602
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 1: would say December was the first time I started staring

603
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:58,159
Speaker 1: sharing this story, so less than a year actually, Um,

604
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 1: and some of my closest friends know about it. My

605
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:03,679
Speaker 1: current girlfriend knows about it. Ben obviously knows about it.

606
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:07,440
Speaker 1: Band's girlfriend knows about it. And you know what, I'm

607
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:08,680
Speaker 1: just gonna share it. Anyways. I don't know if we

608
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,120
Speaker 1: can curse on this one. Let's go ahead and bleep

609
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 1: that out. So I was bullied a lot in middle

610
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 1: school and in high school because of an event that

611
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: happened to me when I was six years old. I

612
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:21,400
Speaker 1: hurt myself in a way that's very specific to how

613
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: only a man can hurt himself. Um, and I didn't

614
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 1: have the courage to stand up for myself later on

615
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 1: in life to the people that would then bully me

616
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 1: forward that event. So it was first grade, it was recess.

617
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,719
Speaker 1: I was. We had this like suspension bridge on the playground,

618
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: and on the sides of the sussension suspension bridge, obviously

619
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 1: we're like these ropes to hold the bridge in the air.

620
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 1: And one of the ropes came undone somehow throughout the

621
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:52,120
Speaker 1: wear and terror of the of a normal day. And uh,

622
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 1: they were attached at the bottom by these little hooks

623
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 1: that would like hook onto the bridge. And so mark

624
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 1: marks already kind of get into it a little bit.

625
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: This is not even looking anymore. And so as a

626
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 1: six year old, curious, adventurous, excited, I put my foot

627
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 1: on the hook to like swing back and forth and

628
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: beat my chest like tars and swinging through the jungle.

629
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: And uh, sure enough, that hook was small, My foot

630
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 1: was small, didn't have very good grip. Slipped off this

631
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 1: bridge was probably I want to say, seven ft in

632
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 1: the air. I was, you know, three ft tall, so

633
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 1: it was a tall bridge. And the hook, instead of

634
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 1: finding anywhere else to fall it decided to go right

635
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 1: it between my legs, hook onto the thing that carries

636
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 1: the two things that define us as meant and ripped

637
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 1: up just about to just below the end of that

638
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 1: other thing that it literally ripped all the way up

639
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 1: to the end of his penis, scrolled him to the

640
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 1: end of his penis, if we're using those words, shore

641
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: from about halfway on my ball sack to about three

642
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 1: just below the tip of my penis about six inches. So, like,

643
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 1: you know, let's just say was a big it was

644
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 1: a top. It's a big cut. Uh yes. And so obviously,

645
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: as a six year old, I run to the doctor.

646
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 1: I'm like screaming, I'm crying. I have no idea what

647
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 1: to do. So I like hobble run all the way

648
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 1: up to the nurse and she goes, this is the

649
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: way over my head. I gotta figure out what to

650
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: do with a school nurse. So she calls my mom,

651
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 1: my mom. I'm like laying in the nurse's off as

652
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 1: my mom comes and she's like Okay, well, we've gotta

653
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 1: like bring you to surgery. So I go to like

654
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 1: the nearest surgeon and they stitched me up. I think

655
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 1: it was like forty or so stitches, and my penis

656
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 1: from my scrolled them to the up, up the shaft

657
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 1: to my penis down to just blow the head um.

658
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 1: Everything was fine, obviously as a six year old, so

659
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 1: I don't remember the pain too much. I remember like

660
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 1: some of the side effects, like having to gaza every

661
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 1: every so often. My mom had like take care of me,

662
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 1: clean me, make sure it was like disinfected um. And

663
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 1: for the longest time, I was like, this is the

664
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 1: worst thing that ever could have happened to me, Like

665
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 1: I'm deformed, I'm so abnormal. Everything was fine, like my

666
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 1: penis and scrolled them are perfectly fine. I just got

667
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 1: like kind of an earlag scar down there, you know

668
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 1: what I mean. We were able to to urinate normally. Oh,

669
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 1: I don't remember, I think so. I remember the catheter

670
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 1: for an extended period. No, I didn't definitely didn't need

671
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 1: a catheter. I remember one specific story. We were like

672
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 1: I went on vacation somewhere and this hotel had a pool,

673
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 1: and I really wanted to go to the pool, but

674
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 1: obviously wasn't allowed in the water because I had this

675
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 1: open wound on my on my testicles, and I remember

676
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 1: like like hobbling running down the hallway for a long

677
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 1: time my brother. I don't know, it's just this this

678
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 1: very distinct memory that I have. But um, as kids do,

679
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 1: they like to obviously like create stories and start rumors.

680
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 1: And what they did was they kind of started this

681
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 1: rumor that I only had one testicle for a long

682
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 1: long time and it didn't really matter much. When I

683
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 1: was an elementary school or middle school at this rumor

684
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 1: was going around I had one testicle. But then when

685
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 1: I got to high school, when testicle has become an

686
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: important thing, right, the rumor became that I only had

687
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 1: one testicle still when I was in high school, and

688
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 1: everyone like joked about it like behind my back and

689
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 1: something like very rarely brought it up to my face,

690
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 1: but it happened a couple of times, and I was

691
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 1: always like so like ashamed and taking it. Like I

692
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 1: couldn't defend myself because I just wasn't confident enough to

693
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: be like I've got two testicles, and I like everyone

694
00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 1: needs to know it. You know what I mean, And

695
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 1: so I was bullied pretty heavily for that. And on

696
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 1: top of that, I had like a very attract my

697
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 1: sister is very attractive, and they always like bullied me

698
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: for that. Um. And then I like because of I

699
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 1: don't know if it was because of the stitches that

700
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 1: I got on my scrolled him or I had a

701
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 1: couple of unique injuries as well, but I walked really funny.

702
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 1: And so everyone in high school, well not everyone, like

703
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: the upper classman when I was playing football, they would

704
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 1: always say that I walk around like I had a

705
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 1: build up my and so because of these things, and

706
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:26,479
Speaker 1: he didn't, and so I did not have a build um.

707
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:28,479
Speaker 1: And this was the story that Ben and I bonded

708
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: over because Ben, I think has maybe shared on this

709
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,240
Speaker 1: podcast almost famous, but he has a similar ish story.

710
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: But I just want to be clear, right, that's similar

711
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 1: in the hook to the genital yeah, not the second party.

712
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 1: Oh and also I think I might have shared this

713
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 1: on the Help I Suck, a dating podcast. But when

714
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 1: I moved to Los Angeles, one of the first things

715
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 1: I did was to get my potency checked. And what

716
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 1: I said was on the podcast the first time was

717
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,160
Speaker 1: that I wanted to, you know, I just wanted to

718
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 1: see how I was doing down there, just out of curiosity.

719
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 1: But the reality of it is, I just wanted to

720
00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 1: know if, like the stitches or you know, the rusty

721
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 1: hook that just cut my penis open, maybe like inhibited

722
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 1: my ability to have children. Right, the long story short,

723
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 1: it didn't, like, m everything's fine down there in that sense.

724
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 1: But that's always it was always just going to send

725
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 1: pictures out if anybody's like, no, that's not funny, it's

726
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 1: I can show you. I won't, but I could. I can't.

727
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 1: Got really excited. Is it? Is it that noticeable? No,

728
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 1: it's not. And no one you would, like, of all

729
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 1: the girlfriends I've ever had, no one ever knew about

730
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 1: it until I finally just started like talking about it

731
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 1: a year ago, right, Um, and yeah, I think like

732
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 1: talking about it, it's kind of like released some of

733
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 1: the power that has had on me. The thing is,

734
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 1: like a lot of the kids from high school with

735
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 1: like some of my best friends from high school still

736
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 1: think that I probably only have one testicle. Let's make

737
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 1: it clear, you have to I have two testicles and

738
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 1: they both function as testicles for function. Um, I guess

739
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 1: I can share this story. Like the reason the first

740
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 1: time I ever opened up about the scar my penis,

741
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 1: uh is when Leslie and I were dating. Leslie of

742
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 1: course had a double mistech to me, and she has

743
00:33:58,240 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 1: scars on her breast because of that, and I was like,

744
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 1: you're not that different than me. I've got a scar

745
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 1: on my genitals as well, and let me prove it

746
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 1: to you. And so that's how I started. That was like,

747
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:07,720
Speaker 1: the first time I told the story to someone, what

748
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: was her response? She was like, why are you so

749
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 1: freaked out about this? Like, if your penis is perfectly normal,

750
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 1: that's kind of weird talk about my penis in the

751
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 1: context of my ex girlfriends. But that was but that

752
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 1: was the first time I ever shared the story with anyone, right,

753
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,359
Speaker 1: And so then then I would like kind of get

754
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 1: drunk with some of my best friends and be like, hey, guys,

755
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 1: I've got a funny story to tell you about my penis,

756
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 1: and obviously they're like, yeah, tell us, this is going

757
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,799
Speaker 1: to be great. Yeah, And it was I the first

758
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,240
Speaker 1: ever go I think I don't have one, the one upset.

759
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 1: It's on the same level though, And you were the

760
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 1: first one to ever rebuttal with the story of your own,

761
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 1: which I really appreciate, and I would I mean, if

762
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,359
Speaker 1: you want to get us like a I would love to. Yeah,

763
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 1: that make you feel better, please, it's a great segment.

764
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,799
Speaker 1: We're gonna We're gonna skip all of Dean's childhood just

765
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 1: for this segment. But I guess the point, the point

766
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 1: of that story was that that was something that I

767
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 1: was centrally bullied for for a lot as a kid.

768
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 1: Right thought that I had a test? Isn't it funny

769
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 1: that it's not funny? Isn't it odd that some of

770
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 1: those stories like that that we maybe like suppress and

771
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: hold deep and like laugh about now a little bit

772
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:11,839
Speaker 1: are the ones that have affected us a most as

773
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 1: we've grown up. This story that I'm about to share

774
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 1: did suck my confidence away. Um, okay, So here it is.

775
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 1: I'll tell a quick version later on what we record

776
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: a longer version of it. Um. I was so freshman

777
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 1: year of high school. Um, I got called to be

778
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 1: the starting quarterback. It's a big deal. Two injuries. It

779
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: wasn't because I was great. It was two injuries. I

780
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:35,439
Speaker 1: got to step up and I had a great first game.

781
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 1: It was awesome. It was fun I thought, like the

782
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:42,840
Speaker 1: futures in football, Um, sophomore year, I'm supposed to start

783
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 1: again obviously, Um the senior class had graduated, and so

784
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 1: I have a shot to to be the starter. All

785
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,320
Speaker 1: of a sudden, I start feeling like just a pain

786
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 1: in my testicles, like a a soreness, a heat like

787
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,520
Speaker 1: just like it throbbed all the time. So I'd reach

788
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: down there and I was feeling link just in case

789
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 1: there's something going on. And I felt a clump like

790
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:05,320
Speaker 1: a bump, a clump of of something in my testicles,

791
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:07,920
Speaker 1: and so I told my parents and they took me

792
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 1: to the doctor. I went to doctor, and the doctor

793
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 1: diagnosed me with something called a very coast seal. Very

794
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 1: co steal is something very common one in four men

795
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 1: and get it. Um, not every I think it's one

796
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 1: and eight that need to get removed. But mine was

797
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:19,759
Speaker 1: big enough that I need to get removed. But a

798
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 1: very coast seal is is it's a it's an extra

799
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 1: like vein in your sack that heats that blood comes

800
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 1: through obviously, and it overheats your testicles and so it

801
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 1: would kill off your sperm. So if you leave it

802
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:35,240
Speaker 1: for long enough, actually your sperm will stop producing um

803
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 1: and you'll become sterile, so you need to get removed

804
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 1: at some point soon. Well, mine started to get so

805
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,839
Speaker 1: bad and so sore that I did it a couple

806
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 1: of months before football season, thinking I'll get this done,

807
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 1: I'll get it cleared up, and then I'll be good

808
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 1: to go for football. It's an easy surgery. Actually. They

809
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 1: just go in through your groin um arthur scopic. They

810
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 1: pull it out, cut it up, caught aized the ends.

811
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 1: You don't even hardly know it happened, and within two

812
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 1: days you're back gone. So all that's going really well

813
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:03,359
Speaker 1: for me. Um. I go in for surgery, I come

814
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:05,959
Speaker 1: back home. I remember this. I'm laying on my bed

815
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 1: in my house and all of a sudden, um my

816
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:16,359
Speaker 1: nuts just start hurting so bad after surgery. And at

817
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 1: the time I thought maybe it was because I just

818
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 1: had surgery in my testicles. That would make sense, right,

819
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 1: But they start hurting so bad and they start burning.

820
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,360
Speaker 1: And I called my dad in It's been about twenty

821
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: four hours since surgery, and I said, Dad, I need

822
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,520
Speaker 1: you to look at these. It hurts so bad. And

823
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 1: so I lifted up my my sheets or whatever, and

824
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 1: he looked and he's like, we need to get you

825
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 1: the doctor right now. My ball had swollen up to

826
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,359
Speaker 1: the size of a grapefruit and we didn't know why.

827
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 1: So my my I had a massive testicle and I

828
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,919
Speaker 1: go into the doctor and this is what the doctor does.

829
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 1: Literally what happened was the vein that they're supposed to

830
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 1: cauter ice together did not cauter ice completely, and so

831
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 1: blood was just pumping directly every time my heart would

832
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 1: pump into my testicle. And so they had to take

833
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,840
Speaker 1: a needle, a drainage needle, and shove it right into

834
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 1: my ball sack without numbing me because it was getting

835
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 1: so big so fast, and start draining the blood and

836
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 1: the liquid off of my ball sack. Like as I'm

837
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 1: wide awake and on non numbed non numbed. Well, my

838
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 1: swelling doesn't go down for a few days. And so

839
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 1: I go back to the high school and because of

840
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:24,880
Speaker 1: the damage that's been done down there, and it was

841
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:26,360
Speaker 1: a lot of damage, you know, they had to go

842
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,839
Speaker 1: back in re caught her eyes. They had just stuck

843
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,840
Speaker 1: a needle in my testicles. Like there's a lot of

844
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 1: like trauma to a place that's like really sensitive. It

845
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 1: stayed swollen, and I had to go back to high

846
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 1: school and I had to sit on ice in every class.

847
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 1: I couldn't missed more class and so I had to

848
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:41,359
Speaker 1: sit on ice. So I had to carry an ice

849
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,720
Speaker 1: bag around and sit on it where you can't hide

850
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 1: that in class, and so people would ask what's happened?

851
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 1: What happened? Well, it got to the point where it's like,

852
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 1: screw it, I'm just gonna start showing, like people my testicle.

853
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: So I showed the football team, like why I wasn't practicing,

854
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 1: And I showed the basketball team like why I wasn't

855
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 1: going to the open gyms, Like here, check out my

856
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 1: my testicles, and they did. And I'm not kidding, like

857
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 1: it's it's still to this day. Was something that was

858
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 1: brought up every time. I was like, I had a

859
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 1: deformed test school that was the size of a grape

860
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 1: fruit for probably two weeks of my life in class.

861
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 1: So that's why Den and I related on that. So

862
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:22,279
Speaker 1: at that point, So at that point, Diana and I

863
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,839
Speaker 1: are sitting around having drinks at Ashley Jared's wedding going

864
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 1: I knew I liked you, and I knew there's a

865
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 1: reason why, but I got made fun of it for

866
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 1: it too, and it really did affect me and like,

867
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,319
Speaker 1: I think a little bit of my confidence. I don't

868
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 1: know if you felt this way, but the fact that

869
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:39,520
Speaker 1: every underlying story about I felt like everybody was talking

870
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 1: about behind my back. Oh yeah, absolutely. I thought I

871
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 1: was going to be a virgin for my entire life.

872
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:46,319
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm no one's everyone asleep with me, well,

873
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,879
Speaker 1: and we'll talk about later. That hasn't been the case.

874
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 1: And what's funny is I remember when I looked up

875
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,359
Speaker 1: with my my girlfriend for the first time, she spent

876
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 1: a lot of extra time down there, like examining, like

877
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 1: feeling around, making sure everything felt normal because she had

878
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: obviously heard the stories, and she was like, Okay, well

879
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:04,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna spend a little bit time, you know, figuring

880
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 1: it out. But I was like, I was like, I

881
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,320
Speaker 1: would wake up has like a thirteen I lost my

882
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,959
Speaker 1: virgin and when I was sixteen, I think I would

883
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 1: wake up almost every single day before that happened, I

884
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 1: was like, I'm going to be a virgin forever. No

885
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 1: one's gonna want to like have sex with me. This

886
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 1: is the worst thing in the world. How could this

887
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 1: happen to me of all people, like this sucks, and

888
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:23,320
Speaker 1: then obviously I lost it, and then I began to realize,

889
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:25,279
Speaker 1: like there's nothing wrong with me. Yeah, I just like

890
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 1: I created this thing in my head where like I

891
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 1: don't know, I let this have some power over me

892
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 1: in a weird way. There's there's about four or five

893
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 1: health stories from my high school days, middle school, high

894
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: school days that have like dramatically affected my life. We'll

895
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 1: talk about him at some other point. Five there's some

896
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:43,839
Speaker 1: wild ones man, and we'll talk about at some other point,

897
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:46,240
Speaker 1: but not today. But that that is my best story

898
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:51,400
Speaker 1: with UM. Yeah, with with our nuts with um. Hey,

899
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 1: before Dan, I really want to dive into your childhood

900
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 1: and some of the parts that mean the most. But

901
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 1: before we do, let's take one break and we'll come

902
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:05,359
Speaker 1: back UM to read chat with Dean. If you've been

903
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 1: listening to the show for any amount of time, any

904
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,960
Speaker 1: amount of time you know, and you've heard of us

905
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,600
Speaker 1: talking about frame Bridge. They make it super easy and

906
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:16,920
Speaker 1: affordable to frame your favorite things from kids are in

907
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:21,240
Speaker 1: concert posters to vacation photos sitting on your phone. Here's

908
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,919
Speaker 1: how it works. Just go to frame bridge dot com

909
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 1: and upload your photo, or they'll send you packaging to

910
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 1: safely mail in your physical pieces. Preview your item online

911
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:35,279
Speaker 1: in any frame or any style, choose your favorite, or

912
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 1: get free recommendations from their talented designers. The expert team

913
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:42,960
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914
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:45,920
Speaker 1: your finished piece directly to your door ready to hang,

915
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:50,880
Speaker 1: instead of hundreds you pay it framing stores. The prices

916
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 1: start at thirty nine dollars and all shipping is free.

917
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 1: I'm telling you people years ago, when I bought my

918
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 1: house years go, I got pictures framed and it was

919
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:07,799
Speaker 1: in the hundreds, hundreds of dollars, upper hundreds. It's not cheap.

920
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,760
Speaker 1: So I'm telling you right now. If their prices start

921
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 1: at thirty nine dollars and all shipping is free, it's

922
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:19,520
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923
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 1: get fifteen percent off their first order at frame bridge

924
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,880
Speaker 1: dot com when they use our code almost famous. The

925
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 1: holidays are right around the corner and this is the

926
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:32,840
Speaker 1: perfect gift to give a family member or friend. Go

927
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:36,400
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928
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 1: You'll save an additional fifteen percent off your first order.

929
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 1: Just go to Framebridge dot com promo code almost famous,

930
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:49,839
Speaker 1: Frame Bridge dot com promo code almost famous. A lot

931
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 1: of screwed them talk today on the podcast. That's actually

932
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 1: a fantastic segment because it's it's so real, it's so true,

933
00:42:55,239 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 1: and it really did it really did affect I just

934
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 1: I can't I mean, honestly, ever since you told me

935
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 1: this story, I can't get over the idea that there's

936
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:10,399
Speaker 1: a hook that just dully ripped apart. You're under carriage, um, Dean,

937
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 1: with that, we're gonna transition. It's there's no easy way

938
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 1: to do this. Um, what are your happiest moments growing up?

939
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 1: My happiest moments growing up? That's a great question. Actually

940
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: I don't know. Um. I My childhood started off kind

941
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,080
Speaker 1: of weird, where we like lived in an RV park

942
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 1: up until I was about four or five years old. Um,

943
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:32,440
Speaker 1: and I have like some distinct memories from the r

944
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 1: V that we're pretty wholesome. Like we remember sitting on

945
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 1: top of our well, it was a bus, right, So

946
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 1: my dad like gutted a school bus and put a

947
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 1: bunch of beds into it and we lived in that

948
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:43,400
Speaker 1: for like four years. I just thinkly remember like one

949
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 1: time we sat on top of this bus and like

950
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:47,719
Speaker 1: watch some demolition derby while we were eating oreos at

951
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,759
Speaker 1: night in some like town in Oklahoma or something weird

952
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:53,920
Speaker 1: like that. Like that was a good memory, UM as

953
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: a kid, like older wise, I don't, I don't know.

954
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 1: It's basically it was a normal childhood, except aside from

955
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 1: obvious see all those other things, you know what I mean?

956
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 1: Like I remember we had an easter and steamboat where

957
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 1: like my mom had candy around the apartment that we

958
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:09,799
Speaker 1: were staying in, like the hotel room or something like that.

959
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:11,360
Speaker 1: I remember like spending a lot of time with my

960
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 1: brothers and sister like looking for him, like having fun,

961
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 1: and the snow was falling outside and we're like in

962
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 1: this cool, exciting new place. Just like small things like that. Um,

963
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:20,680
Speaker 1: but I don't remember anything like specific. That's like that

964
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:22,400
Speaker 1: was like the happiest moment of my life. You know.

965
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: Do you think, um, your family would look back on

966
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 1: Dean as a kid and say, we knew this is

967
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 1: who he is going to become. What have I become?

968
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 1: I guess is the question? Well, you're living in a van, um.

969
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,320
Speaker 1: You you have a lot of wonder lust, you're an artist,

970
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 1: you do incredible videos. Um, and you've you can be

971
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 1: kind of this like artist wonder lust figure. And also

972
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:48,839
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't. I can't say it any other

973
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 1: better way, like do really well in reality television in

974
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,400
Speaker 1: some weird way. Yeah, what'sunny is the first time I

975
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 1: went on the show, my best friend was like, dude,

976
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 1: you're gonna suck on that show, like you're way too

977
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 1: normal for it. And I guess the more I think

978
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 1: about it, where I'm like, I will hope I'm not normal,

979
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,279
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Um, And what's funny about

980
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 1: the living in a van thing is I'm actually in

981
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 1: the majority in my family for living in a van.

982
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:08,920
Speaker 1: My brother lives in his truck, My father lives in

983
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:11,680
Speaker 1: an RV. My sister and other brothers both live in

984
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 1: like home like an apartment. Uh so three out of

985
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 1: five of us live in a car essentially, So I'm

986
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 1: not wholly unique in my family specifically. Um, I don't

987
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 1: think that they would look at me and think that

988
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 1: at all, But like, I don't know what interesting story

989
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 1: about my old Both my brothers are older, but the

990
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 1: second brother right, Uh, none of us in our family

991
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:34,640
Speaker 1: are like really good at communicating our feelings, especially as

992
00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:36,360
Speaker 1: it comes to like being brothers with each other, like

993
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:38,600
Speaker 1: how much we mean to each other. Just a weird

994
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,880
Speaker 1: thing for brothers to do. Um. On top of that,

995
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 1: we're just weird people to begin with. And I remember

996
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 1: my brother's girlfriend and I were like we were all

997
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 1: going out, me, my brother, his girlfriend, and my other

998
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 1: brother and both my brothers went upstairs because they forgot something.

999
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 1: So it's just like me and my brother's girlfriend were

1000
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,359
Speaker 1: like waiting for them downstairs. I remember she said something

1001
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: to me. She was like, Ross, uh the other day,

1002
00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:00,600
Speaker 1: told me how special you are? And he was like

1003
00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 1: he told me that he that Dean possesses all of

1004
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 1: my good qualities and none of my bad qualities. And

1005
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I would never expect Ross to

1006
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 1: say that, Like he would never say that to me,

1007
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 1: just me and him talking, you know what I mean.

1008
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:12,759
Speaker 1: So it was like a cool third party way to

1009
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,919
Speaker 1: like find out that I don't know, my brother's thought

1010
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,799
Speaker 1: highly of me, which I never really thought. I would

1011
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 1: never think they thought lowly of me, you know what

1012
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 1: I mean, But like it was just like it's an

1013
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 1: interesting thing to hear that I really appreciated. UM. But no,

1014
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,920
Speaker 1: I mean I don't think anyone would ever expect or

1015
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:28,879
Speaker 1: have suspected this. I was always kind of this weird

1016
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 1: black sheep, where like I was the only member of

1017
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 1: my family to have like an office job as a recruiter,

1018
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 1: Like I I set an office for at a desk

1019
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:37,759
Speaker 1: for for you to fifty hours a week. And all

1020
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:40,279
Speaker 1: my other brothers are like your siblings are like you

1021
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 1: know my sister's hairstyle as my brother is a waiter.

1022
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:44,840
Speaker 1: My other brother is a carpenter. My father is a carpenter.

1023
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 1: So it's like, I don't know why I felt like

1024
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 1: this need to kind of have like a more of

1025
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:51,959
Speaker 1: a normal life at first. Um, obviously reality tv TV

1026
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:55,960
Speaker 1: kind of derailed that normalcy a little bit, but uh yeah,

1027
00:46:56,120 --> 00:47:00,239
Speaker 1: I don't know if it if childhood wasn't full of

1028
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 1: like the happiest memories and what were some of the

1029
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 1: hardest Uh, childhood was not full of that? Well obviously

1030
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 1: the story but my balls is not the best. We

1031
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,600
Speaker 1: had to bring it back. Um, When I was ten,

1032
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 1: my best friend got hit by a truck. That was

1033
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: like the first experience of trauma that I, like I

1034
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:20,360
Speaker 1: was kind of had to deal with. He was my

1035
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:23,319
Speaker 1: best friend, his name was Hunter Holly Scott. Uh. He

1036
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:26,400
Speaker 1: and I shared a birthday April seventeenth, nine, And you

1037
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:28,959
Speaker 1: know when you're that age, like that's like a big deal.

1038
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:30,719
Speaker 1: It's like it's like enough of a reason to become

1039
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:32,920
Speaker 1: best friends with someone. And we were neighbors. We lived

1040
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,360
Speaker 1: pretty close to each other, so we spent a lot

1041
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 1: of time together. But yeah, we were best friends. And

1042
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,200
Speaker 1: then one summer we were both like riding our bicycles

1043
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:41,880
Speaker 1: to the market and we had picked up like some

1044
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 1: drinks and some snacks, and we're riding back and as

1045
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 1: I was writing, we were riding back, he was like

1046
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 1: maybe ten ft in front of me, and he lost

1047
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 1: his balance and he fell over into the street. And

1048
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 1: as he fell over into the street, a truck came

1049
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 1: and ran him over, like ran his head over. It

1050
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 1: was actually it was pretty pretty, uh pretty graphic. So

1051
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: that was my first first Prussian with trauma, right when

1052
00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 1: I was ten years old. I actually remember funny enough

1053
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:01,880
Speaker 1: to to kind of bring this back to what we

1054
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,360
Speaker 1: were talking about earlier. As I was sitting there as

1055
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 1: a ten year old on the side of the road,

1056
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:07,560
Speaker 1: like my best friend's brains were basically spilled out into

1057
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 1: the street. At this point, they had thrown tarp over it.

1058
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:11,719
Speaker 1: Um they were like trying to contact both of our parents.

1059
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:14,360
Speaker 1: But I remember I was sitting there like like the

1060
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:16,279
Speaker 1: there's like a crowd starting to gather from like the

1061
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 1: cold deestac because it was like, you know, pretty close

1062
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 1: knit community, and they all that come around me and

1063
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 1: they're like are you okay? Are you okay? And I

1064
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:23,920
Speaker 1: remember crying, and I remember the only reason that I

1065
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 1: was crying because it was because I felt like I

1066
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 1: was expected to be crying. Like I felt like people

1067
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 1: thought they were like deans should be crying right now.

1068
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:31,680
Speaker 1: So I was like I'm gonna cry, like I'm gonna

1069
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 1: make it. But then I remember thinking to myself, I

1070
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 1: was like, there's nothing I can do about this situation,

1071
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:38,759
Speaker 1: so what's the point of crying, you know what I mean?

1072
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 1: But I was like performing, right, I was like I

1073
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,240
Speaker 1: was performative crying. I was like, I think I'm supposed

1074
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 1: to be sad here, so I'm gonna cry. And I

1075
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:46,719
Speaker 1: was sad, of course, but like I felt like I

1076
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:49,839
Speaker 1: wasn't necessarily visually as upset until I was like, oh,

1077
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,560
Speaker 1: like I probably should be crying right now, you know what?

1078
00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:54,400
Speaker 1: I mean, um, how do you how do you process

1079
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:56,360
Speaker 1: that as a ten year old? I don't think I

1080
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:58,719
Speaker 1: ever really did, to be perfectly honest. I remember my

1081
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:01,840
Speaker 1: parents were super obviously they were there. My mom was

1082
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 1: like super supportive. She was like, I'll do like whatever

1083
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 1: I need to do to make this better for you. Um.

1084
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 1: And then they were like, we're gonna like sit you

1085
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:11,080
Speaker 1: up in therapy. So I went to therapy a couple

1086
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:13,799
Speaker 1: of times, but I like hated it. Um. And so

1087
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 1: they I was like, I asked him, I was like,

1088
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:16,719
Speaker 1: I don't. I can't do therapy anymore, Like pull me

1089
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 1: out of therapy. I think it did like two sessions, um.

1090
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:20,759
Speaker 1: And then it's kind of like I just kind of

1091
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 1: buried it and forgot about it for a long time. Uh.

1092
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:24,880
Speaker 1: And I still don't really think about it often. Like

1093
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:26,960
Speaker 1: you know, I was ten years old, so my memory

1094
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 1: isn't like super strong from those times. I remember who's

1095
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:32,840
Speaker 1: my best friend? And I remember like obviously the visual

1096
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:35,759
Speaker 1: of it happening. But what's funny is then that fast

1097
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 1: forward ten well, I guess twelve years when I was

1098
00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 1: twenty two, when my best friend overdosed. He was found

1099
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:44,319
Speaker 1: dead in a bathtub uh, the day that we were

1100
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 1: supposed to drive to Connecticut together. And as an adult,

1101
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 1: like obviously I had maybe like matured a little bit

1102
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:54,040
Speaker 1: grown process my emotions more. That death hit me a

1103
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 1: lot harder than I think, even like the death of

1104
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 1: my mother, because I was just like older and I

1105
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 1: just I guess uh felt things more deeply, and so

1106
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:05,880
Speaker 1: that one was pretty challenging. We had like a like

1107
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:07,879
Speaker 1: a like a wake or whatever. We all got together

1108
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 1: to to like commemorate our friend Alex, and I remember

1109
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 1: I like give, I like went up there to give

1110
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 1: a speech in front of like thirty of our friends,

1111
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:16,919
Speaker 1: and I like broke down and started like crying like uncontrollably,

1112
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:20,360
Speaker 1: which is pretty uncommon for me, especially as it pertains

1113
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 1: that kind of trauma. Like I remember at Hunter's funeral,

1114
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 1: I was like running back up and forth, like giving

1115
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:29,240
Speaker 1: speeches about some great memories at Hunter and I had together,

1116
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:31,319
Speaker 1: and I was like smiling and laughing and having fun

1117
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:33,359
Speaker 1: with it because like I was remembering the good times, right.

1118
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 1: But then with Alex, like I wasn't able to do that,

1119
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 1: and I just kind of like broke down and like

1120
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 1: I couldn't even get words that sort of thing. And

1121
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:43,080
Speaker 1: with my mom it was a little bit different, like obviously,

1122
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:45,200
Speaker 1: like my family was super close with her, but we

1123
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 1: didn't have like it wasn't like I was like giving

1124
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 1: speeches to my like not speeches, but like talking to

1125
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:52,400
Speaker 1: my friends about things. It was kind of more just

1126
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 1: like me processing everything internally. Um. So, like the dead

1127
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:58,680
Speaker 1: at ten with Hunter was hard, but in the death

1128
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 1: at fifteen from my mom was super of it. In

1129
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:02,000
Speaker 1: the death that twenty two for Alex was like probably

1130
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 1: the hardest, at least on the surface, like at least

1131
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:08,359
Speaker 1: like emotionally. Obviously the death of my mom was probably

1132
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:12,920
Speaker 1: the most influential. But I don't know. Death definitely has

1133
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:16,560
Speaker 1: um a massive impact in all of our lives, but

1134
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 1: especially yours. Um at three separate segments, at three separate

1135
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:22,400
Speaker 1: pivotal years of your life. It's weird that it came

1136
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:25,520
Speaker 1: at like very very different times, right, I don't know

1137
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:29,319
Speaker 1: how has that affected you, don't, I don't know. I

1138
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 1: really think about it. I think it Remember when I

1139
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:36,400
Speaker 1: said earlier, like I think I struggle with empathy because

1140
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:39,080
Speaker 1: I just like I know that I've been through a

1141
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 1: lot of those bad things. And even when I was,

1142
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:42,759
Speaker 1: like I said, when I was ten years old. I

1143
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 1: was sitting there. I was like, why am I crying?

1144
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:45,319
Speaker 1: There's no point for me to cry because I can't

1145
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:47,319
Speaker 1: change anything. So like when I see something bad happen,

1146
00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:48,759
Speaker 1: or when something comes to me and they're like, hey,

1147
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:51,680
Speaker 1: this happened and I'm really sad, I can be like, Okay,

1148
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 1: well I can help you through this, and I want

1149
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 1: to help you through this. UM. But in the back

1150
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 1: of my head the entire time, I'm thinking, like, just

1151
00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 1: like get over it, because like it's done with and

1152
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:02,160
Speaker 1: the only thing that you can now control is your

1153
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:04,400
Speaker 1: reaction to it, and like your state of mind and

1154
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 1: your well being moving forward. So there's no point really

1155
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:08,720
Speaker 1: in dwelling on those negative things that happened in the past.

1156
00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 1: And I go back and forth on to whether or

1157
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,880
Speaker 1: not that's like a good thing or not. UM like

1158
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 1: to be able to like look back and cry, Like

1159
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 1: sometimes I'll look back on my mom's passing and like

1160
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 1: cry a little bit and just like be like feel

1161
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 1: good after like a nice cry, you know what I mean. UM,

1162
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 1: But I think like overall, I don't try to let

1163
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 1: it affect me too much. And like my advice for

1164
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 1: people as like calloused, as it might sound, is just

1165
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 1: to be like, yeah, just like I think happier thoughts,

1166
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:42,480
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. No, I don't, um, because

1167
00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:45,760
Speaker 1: I don't think that's always an option, but it is. Though.

1168
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 1: That's kind of the point, is like that's really the

1169
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:52,800
Speaker 1: only option is to deal with things like yeah, you can, ah,

1170
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 1: you can like dwell on it and like let it

1171
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 1: affect you negatively for the longest time, but at the

1172
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:59,560
Speaker 1: end of the day, like that's just time wasted dealing

1173
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:02,040
Speaker 1: with this the thoughts unless you're actually growing from the thoughts, right,

1174
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 1: unless you're actually like sitting down and processing things and

1175
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:07,279
Speaker 1: they being like, Okay, like this sucked. Um, I'm gonna

1176
00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 1: remember like all the positive times and all the good

1177
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:12,520
Speaker 1: memories and try to like make them proud through my

1178
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 1: life moving forward. But if you're like having consistent negative

1179
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:17,319
Speaker 1: thoughts about something like that, then the only thing you

1180
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:18,840
Speaker 1: really can do is be like, Okay, well, I'm just

1181
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:20,759
Speaker 1: gonna change it around and be positive about it, you

1182
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I would imagine what I'm thinking

1183
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:24,879
Speaker 1: through right now is though when you duly and and

1184
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,359
Speaker 1: I get Hunter put a huge role in your life,

1185
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:30,000
Speaker 1: but you were ten and like life at tin is

1186
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:32,799
Speaker 1: is a lot about having fun and SI. Yeah, it's

1187
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 1: pretty simple. But as you lose your mother and then Alex,

1188
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 1: there's huge pieces of your life that now are being taken,

1189
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:42,879
Speaker 1: it's not so simple. And there there is a there's

1190
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:44,799
Speaker 1: a value that they held in your life that is

1191
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 1: now gone. How do you how do you look at

1192
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:51,640
Speaker 1: the how do you replace those things? Do you replace them?

1193
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 1: I don't think you replace them. I think that's uh.

1194
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:56,759
Speaker 1: Malcolm Gladwell obviously a great author. I remember I can't

1195
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:58,719
Speaker 1: remember which book it was that he wrote. I think

1196
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:01,399
Speaker 1: it was Tipping Point perhaps, but he said something along

1197
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 1: the lines of no child is aware of how unique

1198
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 1: their situation is. And because every child thinks that their

1199
00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:10,080
Speaker 1: childhood is exactly like everyone else's, you know what I means.

1200
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:11,920
Speaker 1: So like when I'm tend I think like everyone else

1201
00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:13,319
Speaker 1: is going through the same stuff I'm going through in

1202
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:15,880
Speaker 1: my situation isn't unique. When I'm fifteen, I think the

1203
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 1: same thing. I think, like my life is just my

1204
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:19,799
Speaker 1: life and it's not like wholly unique in any sort

1205
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:24,960
Speaker 1: of way. Um, but yeah, you're right. I was obviously

1206
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:28,759
Speaker 1: much more affected practically speaking, by the death of my

1207
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:32,759
Speaker 1: mom than I was by obviously Hunter or Alex I

1208
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 1: kind of like turned the world upside down in a

1209
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:35,960
Speaker 1: lot of ways. But but again I was just like

1210
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:37,600
Speaker 1: dealing with it, like you haven't really no choice but

1211
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 1: to just put it all aside and figure it out

1212
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:42,880
Speaker 1: as you go, you know. Yeah, and I and I

1213
00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 1: think though the those moments, though, den are like the

1214
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:51,120
Speaker 1: ones that always feel like they they hit the hardest,

1215
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:54,600
Speaker 1: they're the hardest to process, but they're there the things

1216
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:56,279
Speaker 1: that connect us the most. So there's a lot of

1217
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:59,000
Speaker 1: people out there listening that have have obviously related with

1218
00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:02,920
Speaker 1: you because of the deaths of friends or close family members,

1219
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:05,920
Speaker 1: and I think your story is one that they listened

1220
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:09,239
Speaker 1: to and and sit on. I would imagine anxiously going

1221
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:12,040
Speaker 1: how do you do it? Like how do you continue

1222
00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 1: to move forward in the midst of great pain and

1223
00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:19,839
Speaker 1: great sorrow? And to those people that are saying that

1224
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 1: and looking at you, is that that figure to help

1225
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 1: them respond? What would you say? Well, I just some

1226
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:27,040
Speaker 1: think you really have much of another option. It's like,

1227
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,400
Speaker 1: if you're not moving forward, then you're standing still and

1228
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:31,279
Speaker 1: moving backwards, And it's like, well do you want to

1229
00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:33,279
Speaker 1: look back and be like Okay, well I just wasted

1230
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:36,239
Speaker 1: all that time feeling sorry for myself, feeling sorry for

1231
00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:38,880
Speaker 1: the people around me, feeling sorry for my situation, or

1232
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:40,920
Speaker 1: did I use that time to figure it out and

1233
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:42,680
Speaker 1: kind of grow from it. And it's obviously it's easier

1234
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:46,120
Speaker 1: said than done. Um, they were like some pretty dark

1235
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:49,040
Speaker 1: times when I was like between fifteen and eighteen, I

1236
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 1: like basically lived by myself, Like my dad kicks my

1237
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 1: brothers out of the house, and then he was gone

1238
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:54,920
Speaker 1: all the time, either traveling for work or visiting his

1239
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 1: I think his mom was sick in New Jersey at

1240
00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:58,719
Speaker 1: the time. Um, And so I spent a lot of

1241
00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 1: time alone and like a house made for six people, right,

1242
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:06,440
Speaker 1: which is just a weird it's a weird, eerie situation. Um.

1243
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:12,239
Speaker 1: But I never felt like, I don't know, it never

1244
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 1: felt like a challenge, you know what I mean, because

1245
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:16,600
Speaker 1: it just felt it was just what was. And so

1246
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:19,359
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. I struggle with empathy where it's

1247
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:21,280
Speaker 1: it's like I can't really put myself in those shoes

1248
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,719
Speaker 1: because I just felt I've always felt like whatever you're

1249
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:25,720
Speaker 1: given is like the hand that you're supposed to be playing,

1250
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:27,439
Speaker 1: and because of that, like you just kind of find

1251
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:29,640
Speaker 1: a way to make that handle winning hand. You know

1252
00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:32,440
Speaker 1: what I mean? Do you ever feel resentment then towards

1253
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:35,719
Speaker 1: myself life? I mean if if you're sitting there and

1254
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:38,080
Speaker 1: you look around, you go I've I mean, I had,

1255
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:40,640
Speaker 1: ten years old, had to witness my best friend get

1256
00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 1: hand on the set of road. I've lost my mother

1257
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:44,439
Speaker 1: at a young age, and at twenty two, I lost

1258
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:47,560
Speaker 1: my best friend. I can move forward, but what I

1259
00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 1: would feel, and this maybe is just me, is a resentment.

1260
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:54,400
Speaker 1: I would still move forward, that can happen, but I

1261
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:57,440
Speaker 1: would carry on this this kind of like chip on

1262
00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:01,000
Speaker 1: my shoulder saying this isn't fair. Um. I think the

1263
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:04,719
Speaker 1: death of my mom really really brought that side out

1264
00:57:04,719 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 1: of me where I was like, this is both like

1265
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:09,840
Speaker 1: this doesn't make sense, this isn't fair. Um. The Testical

1266
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 1: story was a big one too. I was like, this

1267
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,080
Speaker 1: doesn't make it, Like why me? Why me? Of all

1268
00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 1: people was I chosen? It's a funny story, but like

1269
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 1: really did hurt, Like you know, yeah, likely I thought

1270
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:21,680
Speaker 1: my life was like transformed in a negative way forever,

1271
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:23,640
Speaker 1: more so than because I was young. I didn't know

1272
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 1: any better. Um, but with my mom too, it's it's

1273
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:31,880
Speaker 1: tough losing a mother or a parent, especially obviously losing

1274
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:34,560
Speaker 1: anyone is difficult. But like a lot of my friends

1275
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:36,560
Speaker 1: that I was like super super close with in high school,

1276
00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 1: like they all had families that were like super tight

1277
00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:41,640
Speaker 1: and they were always super supportive or like, if you

1278
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:43,520
Speaker 1: ever need anything, like you can come to us and

1279
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 1: ask for it. But that was I think that's kind

1280
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:47,720
Speaker 1: of a reason why I kind of didn't really ever

1281
00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:50,200
Speaker 1: feel the need to share my story post college or

1282
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 1: anything like that, like an adulthood was because, uh, no

1283
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 1: one really understands until they experience it. And so my

1284
00:57:57,080 --> 00:57:59,600
Speaker 1: friends when I the people I was friends within college

1285
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:02,680
Speaker 1: are in high school, they all had like very well

1286
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:05,920
Speaker 1: off families. Everyone was wealthy, everyone was happily married. They

1287
00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:08,120
Speaker 1: didn't really deal with much adversity in their lives, and

1288
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:10,240
Speaker 1: so I did. I didn't feel comfortable sharing my story

1289
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 1: with those people because they didn't they didn't get it,

1290
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:15,440
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Um, And so I kind

1291
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:17,960
Speaker 1: of just swept it under the rug and and kind

1292
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:20,440
Speaker 1: of kept quiet about it for a long time until

1293
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:23,400
Speaker 1: obviously Bachelorrette, when I shared it with However, many people

1294
00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:27,240
Speaker 1: watched The Bachelorette UM, but yeah, and it wasn't just

1295
00:58:27,280 --> 00:58:31,680
Speaker 1: the story of your mom that was brought out. There

1296
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 1: is this master storyline that I know you don't like,

1297
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:36,840
Speaker 1: but but your dad was also highlighted then because there's

1298
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:42,120
Speaker 1: been this disconnect then that was at least portrayed during

1299
00:58:42,120 --> 00:58:44,800
Speaker 1: the show there. Well, what's funny about the my old

1300
00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 1: dad situation is it's like, I've never really put myself

1301
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 1: in his shoes. I never really considered what it was

1302
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 1: like to lose your wife at fifty years old. He's

1303
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:55,400
Speaker 1: never cooked a meal in his life for anyone, Like,

1304
00:58:55,440 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 1: he's never had to take care of anyone. He just

1305
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:00,240
Speaker 1: made money and like funded our family for my mom

1306
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 1: to take care of us. Right, So it's not like

1307
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:03,320
Speaker 1: he knew any better than to do what he did,

1308
00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:06,800
Speaker 1: which was basically disconnected and do what he thought was best.

1309
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:08,760
Speaker 1: And like he even asked him now, he he doesn't

1310
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:10,440
Speaker 1: think he did anything wrong, and I think he really

1311
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:12,720
Speaker 1: believes that I didn't do anything wrong. But from my perspective,

1312
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:14,840
Speaker 1: he did everything wrong. But that doesn't make him. That

1313
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:16,680
Speaker 1: doesn't make what he did wrong. You know, he was

1314
00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 1: just dealing with it the only way that he really

1315
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:19,960
Speaker 1: knew how, and that's only something that I've kind of

1316
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:21,480
Speaker 1: come around on recently where it's like I can't really

1317
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 1: blame the guy for for bailing out when I was

1318
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 1: fifteen or whatever, because that was like his way of

1319
00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 1: dealing with his dramatic loss of his wife that he's

1320
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:34,040
Speaker 1: been married to for the past thirty years. Um. Sure,

1321
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:36,000
Speaker 1: I always kind of considered like the loss of my

1322
00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:40,640
Speaker 1: mom to be like this weird everything obviously, but like

1323
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:42,080
Speaker 1: I always kind of wish that it brought our family

1324
00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:44,040
Speaker 1: closer together rather than like it was kind of acted

1325
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:45,600
Speaker 1: like a bomb that like put us put us all

1326
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:48,920
Speaker 1: further apart um. And with my dad specifically, yea, like

1327
00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:53,640
Speaker 1: he him and I had this this weird uh dynamic

1328
00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:55,840
Speaker 1: on the show. And I remember being in high school

1329
00:59:56,280 --> 00:59:58,000
Speaker 1: and going to school every day, and like I got

1330
00:59:58,000 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 1: in trouble a lot. I was like always I was

1331
00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:01,320
Speaker 1: like the one obvious responsible for getting myself to school,

1332
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 1: which means I was late basically every single day, which

1333
01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:06,320
Speaker 1: means I was in detention and in suspension, etcetera all

1334
01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 1: the time. I remember a couple of times the principle

1335
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:10,000
Speaker 1: would pull me aside and be like, what's the deal,

1336
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:11,720
Speaker 1: Like should we get your dad in here to like

1337
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:13,320
Speaker 1: talk about this, and I remember always being like, no,

1338
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:16,080
Speaker 1: I hate my father. I never want to be like him.

1339
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:18,120
Speaker 1: Don't even talk to him, like I don't even want

1340
01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:21,440
Speaker 1: to be part of this conversation. Um, And I was

1341
01:00:21,480 --> 01:00:23,560
Speaker 1: just like so vehemently like my dad sucks. I hate

1342
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:26,240
Speaker 1: him so much. I hate him so much. And eventually,

1343
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:28,000
Speaker 1: like the principle would be like, okay, like I won't

1344
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:30,160
Speaker 1: tell my I won't tell your father. Eventually obviously they

1345
01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 1: tell my father, and it just I kind of continue

1346
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:34,480
Speaker 1: to drive a wedge between us. And there were like

1347
01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:37,920
Speaker 1: moments where we would like put things aside bygones, be bygones,

1348
01:00:37,960 --> 01:00:40,000
Speaker 1: like my father drove me out to my university on

1349
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:43,640
Speaker 1: to like you know, what is it like visiting weekend

1350
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:44,840
Speaker 1: where you gonna check out and makeus you want to

1351
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:47,560
Speaker 1: go to school there. So like we like had salvage

1352
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:50,840
Speaker 1: the relationship like weirdly a couple of times, but ultimately

1353
01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:52,520
Speaker 1: I ended up falling back apart. I think I think

1354
01:00:52,520 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 1: it's just like the Ungler curse where we can't really

1355
01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:56,160
Speaker 1: stay communicative with each other and we don't really stay

1356
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:59,120
Speaker 1: in touch with people. Um. And then through high school

1357
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:01,440
Speaker 1: like or through I'm sorry, through college, we weren't never

1358
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:06,680
Speaker 1: really close and then uh we like when I moved

1359
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 1: to l A. I saw him for a couple of

1360
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:10,080
Speaker 1: days before I moved to Los Angeles. Two years later,

1361
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:11,400
Speaker 1: I go on the show, and I didn't really talked

1362
01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:14,640
Speaker 1: to him since seeing him on my way from Denver

1363
01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:16,280
Speaker 1: to l A. Like stopped by for like a day

1364
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:18,000
Speaker 1: and I hung out with him. But then since then,

1365
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:19,400
Speaker 1: like it was two and a half years between that

1366
01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:21,400
Speaker 1: and going on The Bachelorette, hadn't talked to him, I

1367
01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:24,160
Speaker 1: hadn't seen him whatever. And I knew going into that

1368
01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:26,080
Speaker 1: hometown that he was going to act like everything was

1369
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:29,760
Speaker 1: like hunky dory, everything was like okay um, And I

1370
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:31,680
Speaker 1: was like so deep in my own two where I

1371
01:01:31,720 --> 01:01:33,120
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, I'm just gonna call him

1372
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:36,120
Speaker 1: out for it right now on national television, which in

1373
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 1: hindsight probably wasn't the best idea, but I was just

1374
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,400
Speaker 1: like I didn't like that necessarily, the facade that was

1375
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:43,120
Speaker 1: being put on that like we were like a loving

1376
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 1: family that we all looked out for each other and

1377
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 1: that we all like we're just super tighten it, because

1378
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:50,080
Speaker 1: we weren't. And then the second I saw him, like

1379
01:01:50,080 --> 01:01:51,640
Speaker 1: try to pretend that we were. I was like, you

1380
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:53,240
Speaker 1: know what, I'm just gonna like lean into this and

1381
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:57,640
Speaker 1: be like this is just isn't right? Um? And so yeah,

1382
01:01:57,720 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 1: that that whole experience on the show. What's funny is

1383
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:02,040
Speaker 1: like my dad loves the experience on the show, you know,

1384
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:03,680
Speaker 1: Like he he'll even be like, yeah, dude, you were

1385
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 1: both to me on the show, but it was the

1386
01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:10,800
Speaker 1: best experience of my life. Why he he's a narcissist,

1387
01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:12,920
Speaker 1: just like just like me, just like my brother is

1388
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:15,080
Speaker 1: just like my sister. He he loves the attention that

1389
01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 1: the show gave him for for however much time it

1390
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:20,440
Speaker 1: gave it to him, um, good or bad. Like he

1391
01:02:20,560 --> 01:02:22,960
Speaker 1: just like loved being in the spotlight quote unquote for

1392
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:25,920
Speaker 1: that short amount of time. Ah. I would like to

1393
01:02:25,920 --> 01:02:28,120
Speaker 1: think that I don't reach that level of narcissism. I

1394
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:31,840
Speaker 1: hope I don't. But yeah, he's he's got a funny

1395
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:34,400
Speaker 1: mentality on it. And like we've obviously like prepared our

1396
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:38,160
Speaker 1: relationship to some extent between then and now, Like he

1397
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,880
Speaker 1: helped me rebuild my van and build out the living

1398
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:43,960
Speaker 1: quarters of it a little bit. I like see him

1399
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:47,360
Speaker 1: maybe like one once to twice twice a year to

1400
01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:50,440
Speaker 1: two or three times a year now, Um, and there's

1401
01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:53,919
Speaker 1: not really any love lost. Like he's he's getting older,

1402
01:02:53,960 --> 01:02:56,760
Speaker 1: and I know that at some point he's gonna die

1403
01:02:57,240 --> 01:02:58,920
Speaker 1: before I die, hopefully. Like that's how it works. You

1404
01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:01,640
Speaker 1: obviously want your kids to outlive your parents. Um, and

1405
01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:04,080
Speaker 1: I I don't want to live with the regret of

1406
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:06,240
Speaker 1: not having a better relationship with my father after it's

1407
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:08,240
Speaker 1: no longer to be had. Like after I can't you know,

1408
01:03:08,280 --> 01:03:11,520
Speaker 1: salvage anything. So uh, I go back and forth and

1409
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:13,160
Speaker 1: like I try to make it work. And you know,

1410
01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:15,280
Speaker 1: obviously he lives his life. I live my life, and

1411
01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:17,400
Speaker 1: whenever we get together, it's like him kind of catching

1412
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:19,320
Speaker 1: me up on all of his things and him talking

1413
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:20,800
Speaker 1: the whole time, and it's great and we like to

1414
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:22,480
Speaker 1: see each other. But then it's just like in a

1415
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:24,320
Speaker 1: reminder of like okay, Yea'll see again in six more

1416
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:25,840
Speaker 1: months or two more months or however long it is.

1417
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:27,560
Speaker 1: Just it's just like, you know, obviously people kind of

1418
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:30,280
Speaker 1: grow apart. I guess would there have been an option

1419
01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:34,120
Speaker 1: to bring it, to bring the family together, like because

1420
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:37,720
Speaker 1: of the passing of your mom, was there ever a

1421
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:42,919
Speaker 1: pivotal point where it did kind of break the family apart. Um. Well,

1422
01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:44,520
Speaker 1: I think that's just actual passing of it. So my

1423
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:47,840
Speaker 1: brothers and my father all but it heads constantly. My

1424
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:49,680
Speaker 1: dad was like an alcoholic for a long time. He's

1425
01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:51,640
Speaker 1: since been sober for I think like ten years or

1426
01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:53,720
Speaker 1: something like that, but for a long time he drank

1427
01:03:53,720 --> 01:03:55,680
Speaker 1: a lot, and I think that like tensions were high

1428
01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:57,880
Speaker 1: because you know, my brothers were like maybe like eighteen

1429
01:03:57,880 --> 01:04:00,840
Speaker 1: to three or twenty four living in the house, and

1430
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:02,880
Speaker 1: my dad was like, you guys need to move out,

1431
01:04:03,040 --> 01:04:04,920
Speaker 1: like get your own place, figure out, get your life

1432
01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:07,840
Speaker 1: together sort of thing. Um, And that kind of created

1433
01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:10,800
Speaker 1: some tenacity between the three of them, more so one

1434
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:13,840
Speaker 1: of my brothers and the other. But ah, that was

1435
01:04:13,920 --> 01:04:16,440
Speaker 1: kind of a challenging thing too, because it's like one

1436
01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:18,040
Speaker 1: of my brothers was like my best friend and like

1437
01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:20,440
Speaker 1: he you know, I like respected him a lot, I

1438
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:21,920
Speaker 1: liked him a lot, and then to see him and

1439
01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:23,840
Speaker 1: my father getting such heated arguments with each other, I

1440
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:25,840
Speaker 1: was like, well, I love my brother and he's like

1441
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:28,760
Speaker 1: he's my role model essentially, and if he's fighting my dad,

1442
01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 1: then I should probably fight my dad too, And like,

1443
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:32,320
Speaker 1: you know, it's just kind of one of those things

1444
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:33,920
Speaker 1: where it's like a slippery slope or like a snowball

1445
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:36,680
Speaker 1: effect where things just kind of got progressively worse for

1446
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:39,360
Speaker 1: no one and no one was at fault for any

1447
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:40,680
Speaker 1: of it, you know what I mean. They're just one

1448
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:44,160
Speaker 1: of those weird things. I hear all this and one

1449
01:04:44,160 --> 01:04:45,880
Speaker 1: of the you know we we mentioned at the beginning

1450
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 1: of the podcast, one of the criticisms that you um

1451
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:51,880
Speaker 1: that you get the most, that you're not unfamiliar with

1452
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:54,800
Speaker 1: is Dean's got to grow up. Yeah. You know what's

1453
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:56,680
Speaker 1: really interesting after I hear all this is it made

1454
01:04:56,680 --> 01:04:58,200
Speaker 1: sense to me is you you grew up at a

1455
01:04:58,200 --> 01:05:01,320
Speaker 1: really young age, and I wonder if you Matt and

1456
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:05,080
Speaker 1: there's no this is gonna be a weak statement, but

1457
01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:07,520
Speaker 1: you mastered adulthood at such a young age that now

1458
01:05:07,560 --> 01:05:10,320
Speaker 1: you can play around with it a little bit. Uh.

1459
01:05:10,600 --> 01:05:13,160
Speaker 1: May perhaps I like to think that I'm never gonna

1460
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:15,640
Speaker 1: grow up, though honestly, I guess I see. I see

1461
01:05:15,640 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 1: your point, Like I had to grow up, support myself

1462
01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:20,760
Speaker 1: whatever from fifteen until now. I had to grow up

1463
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:23,000
Speaker 1: maybe a little earlier. But also it's like I don't

1464
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:24,880
Speaker 1: ever really want to lose like that child like spark

1465
01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:26,760
Speaker 1: that I think that we all kind of look back

1466
01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,280
Speaker 1: and be like, dang, I wish I was like that.

1467
01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:32,960
Speaker 1: But you built in the You built in the necessities

1468
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:35,640
Speaker 1: to at least making your life function at such a

1469
01:05:35,680 --> 01:05:39,520
Speaker 1: young age that now you know them so clearly that

1470
01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:42,720
Speaker 1: you like that, you may that you you you hold,

1471
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:45,080
Speaker 1: you fight hard to hold onto that childlike spark because

1472
01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:47,440
Speaker 1: a lot of your childhood was taken from you. I

1473
01:05:47,440 --> 01:05:49,520
Speaker 1: can understand that. That That makes sense, I will say one

1474
01:05:49,520 --> 01:05:51,640
Speaker 1: of the metapsychologist. I don't. I'm not like diagnosing that.

1475
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:53,120
Speaker 1: I'm just saying I'm hearing this. I'm saying it ten

1476
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:55,640
Speaker 1: years old. If I had to put myself in a

1477
01:05:55,680 --> 01:05:58,720
Speaker 1: position of seeing my friend get hit on the side

1478
01:05:58,760 --> 01:06:01,000
Speaker 1: of the road and then lose my mom a few

1479
01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:04,000
Speaker 1: years later, and then at twenty two, kind of like

1480
01:06:04,240 --> 01:06:07,440
Speaker 1: I would say my twenty early twenties were like late teens.

1481
01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:10,000
Speaker 1: Early twenties were the years that like literally had If

1482
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:13,520
Speaker 1: I would have experienced pain during that time, like real pain,

1483
01:06:14,320 --> 01:06:16,240
Speaker 1: I don't think I would have processed it because it

1484
01:06:16,280 --> 01:06:19,160
Speaker 1: felt like a year's almost wasted of just bliss in

1485
01:06:19,200 --> 01:06:23,280
Speaker 1: college and euphoria, like if those things happen to be

1486
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:27,320
Speaker 1: like they happened to you, and they dramatically changed your

1487
01:06:27,360 --> 01:06:30,720
Speaker 1: course leading up to who we know today. How old

1488
01:06:30,760 --> 01:06:38,480
Speaker 1: are you know? You're not too far removed from those years.

1489
01:06:37,680 --> 01:06:39,920
Speaker 1: I will say one of the one of the most

1490
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:42,640
Speaker 1: challenging things were not the most challenging things. But like

1491
01:06:42,680 --> 01:06:45,200
Speaker 1: I said, I grew up with a lot of kids

1492
01:06:45,680 --> 01:06:49,840
Speaker 1: who had like well to do families, a basically like

1493
01:06:49,880 --> 01:06:53,720
Speaker 1: security blankets, security nets, right, I guess I always kind

1494
01:06:53,720 --> 01:06:55,400
Speaker 1: of looked around at them too and resented them in

1495
01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:56,840
Speaker 1: a sense where I was like, look, if you fail

1496
01:06:56,920 --> 01:07:00,040
Speaker 1: miserably at whatever you want to do, like reach for

1497
01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:02,520
Speaker 1: the stars, you fail, you have them to lean on

1498
01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:04,320
Speaker 1: or like, they'll support you, they'll put you up, they'll

1499
01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:05,840
Speaker 1: like bring you back into their home and take care

1500
01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:08,120
Speaker 1: of you. If I do that, I'm gonna be living

1501
01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:09,560
Speaker 1: on the streets because I don't have anywhere to go

1502
01:07:09,640 --> 01:07:11,880
Speaker 1: other than wherever I can put myself, you know what

1503
01:07:11,960 --> 01:07:13,920
Speaker 1: I mean. And so for the longest time, I was

1504
01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:15,480
Speaker 1: always like, I don't have I don't I don't have

1505
01:07:15,480 --> 01:07:18,520
Speaker 1: a safety that I don't have anything to do unless

1506
01:07:18,560 --> 01:07:20,560
Speaker 1: I do it now and figure it out. And so

1507
01:07:20,640 --> 01:07:22,280
Speaker 1: I think that's maybe kind of what you're getting at

1508
01:07:22,320 --> 01:07:25,200
Speaker 1: where I was like I was, everything was so on

1509
01:07:25,240 --> 01:07:26,800
Speaker 1: me for the longest time, where now I guess I

1510
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:28,200
Speaker 1: have the ability to be like, Okay, I can kind

1511
01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:30,040
Speaker 1: of do whatever I want, and so I'm gonna do that.

1512
01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:33,800
Speaker 1: You know, I completely get it. And I've never thought

1513
01:07:33,840 --> 01:07:39,000
Speaker 1: about that with you, Deane until now. I'm never half Um,

1514
01:07:39,080 --> 01:07:43,040
Speaker 1: it's a good psychoanalysis. It's just it's the part of

1515
01:07:43,080 --> 01:07:46,800
Speaker 1: this podcast that I enjoy the most because getting down

1516
01:07:46,800 --> 01:07:49,400
Speaker 1: and hearing your story. UM, I don't know if it

1517
01:07:49,440 --> 01:07:52,280
Speaker 1: allows things to make sense, because afterwards we're gonna walk

1518
01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:54,120
Speaker 1: out of here and we're gonna still struggle, and I'm

1519
01:07:54,120 --> 01:07:55,840
Speaker 1: gonna get upset with you because you do lack in

1520
01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:58,240
Speaker 1: your communication now and then and I don't hear from

1521
01:07:58,280 --> 01:08:01,960
Speaker 1: you for days. Um what I still don't know why. Um,

1522
01:08:02,120 --> 01:08:04,000
Speaker 1: I'm not going to blame it on the Angler curse.

1523
01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:05,280
Speaker 1: So that's the thing. I have no excuses for that

1524
01:08:05,320 --> 01:08:06,880
Speaker 1: type of stuff now, So I would never be like, oh,

1525
01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:10,360
Speaker 1: I'm this way because of I don't know genetics or

1526
01:08:10,440 --> 01:08:12,680
Speaker 1: because of the traumatic experience that I had as a kid.

1527
01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:14,760
Speaker 1: I have no excuse to not be communicative with you

1528
01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:19,880
Speaker 1: other than you don't like me ben Um. But all

1529
01:08:19,920 --> 01:08:22,160
Speaker 1: of it makes sense, which is why this podcast means

1530
01:08:22,200 --> 01:08:24,559
Speaker 1: so much. I mean, I'm glad I'm doing it with you. Uh, Dean,

1531
01:08:24,640 --> 01:08:26,160
Speaker 1: I want to get into what led you to be

1532
01:08:26,160 --> 01:08:29,200
Speaker 1: on the Bachelorette, But before we do, we're gonna take

1533
01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:40,320
Speaker 1: a break before we come back with Dean. I'm gonna

1534
01:08:40,320 --> 01:08:41,720
Speaker 1: take a second. At the end of the podcast, you're

1535
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:44,840
Speaker 1: gonna hear a segment with one of my buddies, Bob Dalton,

1536
01:08:44,880 --> 01:08:48,880
Speaker 1: talking about sackcloth and ashes. Uh blanket company giving blankets

1537
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:52,880
Speaker 1: to um people without homes all across the US. Uh.

1538
01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:55,960
Speaker 1: Their partnership with my company generous. So make sure you

1539
01:08:55,960 --> 01:08:58,040
Speaker 1: tune in and wait to the end of the podcast

1540
01:08:58,520 --> 01:09:02,479
Speaker 1: conversation with myself and Dalton. But until that conversation, I

1541
01:09:02,600 --> 01:09:07,040
Speaker 1: am here with Dean Ungler, fan favorite from The Bachelorette,

1542
01:09:07,920 --> 01:09:12,000
Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise two times over, and Bachelor Winner Games.

1543
01:09:12,720 --> 01:09:15,120
Speaker 1: We've we've caught up with Dean so far, but now

1544
01:09:15,120 --> 01:09:19,000
Speaker 1: we're getting into this stuff that listeners, you're familiar with Dean.

1545
01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:23,000
Speaker 1: How do you end up on the show? Uh? But

1546
01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:26,000
Speaker 1: how did you end up on the show? Why do

1547
01:09:26,080 --> 01:09:28,000
Speaker 1: you turn this on me? I was signed up through

1548
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:29,800
Speaker 1: a friend and then I just went through it with

1549
01:09:29,840 --> 01:09:32,720
Speaker 1: myself and I kept doing the process after they sent

1550
01:09:32,800 --> 01:09:35,560
Speaker 1: in my first like application, I just kept did a

1551
01:09:35,680 --> 01:09:39,360
Speaker 1: video and I did all that stuff the normally to

1552
01:09:39,400 --> 01:09:41,439
Speaker 1: do it. Um, well, I guess we can go back

1553
01:09:41,479 --> 01:09:45,040
Speaker 1: to your season of the Bachelor. So we were watching

1554
01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:47,599
Speaker 1: your season while we weren't watching I've never really watched

1555
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:49,559
Speaker 1: the show before going on it? Did you? Um? Off?

1556
01:09:49,600 --> 01:09:52,760
Speaker 1: And on? Yeah? My mom and I spent time when

1557
01:09:52,800 --> 01:09:55,680
Speaker 1: i'd be home. We loved watching it together. But when

1558
01:09:55,720 --> 01:09:57,760
Speaker 1: I was away at like I wouldn't, it was just

1559
01:09:57,760 --> 01:09:59,640
Speaker 1: like my thing with her, which is great. That's a

1560
01:09:59,720 --> 01:10:02,720
Speaker 1: nice the tradition to have. So what one of my

1561
01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:06,880
Speaker 1: best friends loved the show, and it was always kind

1562
01:10:06,880 --> 01:10:08,200
Speaker 1: of this thing that we ragged on him for. He

1563
01:10:08,400 --> 01:10:11,360
Speaker 1: held watched it by himself. You know, he doesn't like

1564
01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:13,160
Speaker 1: doing things alone, so sometimes he would like rope and

1565
01:10:13,200 --> 01:10:17,320
Speaker 1: coaxes coaxes friends into watching it with him. Um. I

1566
01:10:17,320 --> 01:10:20,080
Speaker 1: remember one time he made me watch Caitlin Bristow's season.

1567
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:23,120
Speaker 1: Funny enough, I think it was with her one on

1568
01:10:23,280 --> 01:10:27,120
Speaker 1: with Nick. I hadn't watched it again. Um. He was

1569
01:10:27,160 --> 01:10:28,760
Speaker 1: the one that I moved to Los Angeles with so

1570
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:32,080
Speaker 1: your season was on, and I remember he made me

1571
01:10:32,080 --> 01:10:33,800
Speaker 1: watch a couple episodes of your season with you, and

1572
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:36,160
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, man, that Kaylea Quinn girl. There's

1573
01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:40,800
Speaker 1: something about her that I just like, really adore and admire. Um.

1574
01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:45,000
Speaker 1: And so I was working one day downtown Los Angeles

1575
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:47,200
Speaker 1: and my friends were like, dude, there's a casting call

1576
01:10:47,280 --> 01:10:50,120
Speaker 1: and like Rancho Cucamonga like an hour and a half away,

1577
01:10:50,479 --> 01:10:51,680
Speaker 1: and I didn't have a car at the time, and

1578
01:10:51,720 --> 01:10:54,080
Speaker 1: I was like, I think Kayla was like just maybe

1579
01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:56,160
Speaker 1: announced as the bachelorette, and I was like, I gotta go,

1580
01:10:56,240 --> 01:10:59,200
Speaker 1: Like she's my girl. I want to figure this out.

1581
01:10:59,280 --> 01:11:01,160
Speaker 1: Ended up obviously not going, and then Judge got anound

1582
01:11:01,160 --> 01:11:02,519
Speaker 1: the next day anyway, so it wasn't a big deal.

1583
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:06,439
Speaker 1: UM put that to bed for like a year or

1584
01:11:06,439 --> 01:11:08,559
Speaker 1: something like that. And then a year later, like I'm

1585
01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:11,719
Speaker 1: at work again and that same friend of mine calls

1586
01:11:11,760 --> 01:11:13,960
Speaker 1: me and he goes, Dean, I'm gonna do something and

1587
01:11:14,040 --> 01:11:15,519
Speaker 1: I want you to do I want you to follow

1588
01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:18,479
Speaker 1: through with it, no matter what it is. And what

1589
01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:21,040
Speaker 1: that something was was he got me on a phone

1590
01:11:21,040 --> 01:11:23,880
Speaker 1: call with Amy, the producer of this podcast. We had Uh,

1591
01:11:23,920 --> 01:11:26,920
Speaker 1: of course so much who has a great relationship with

1592
01:11:26,960 --> 01:11:29,559
Speaker 1: the show's executive producer, and so Amy and I talked

1593
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:30,800
Speaker 1: on the phone for like an hour and a half

1594
01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:32,840
Speaker 1: and she was like, I love I love your story,

1595
01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:34,639
Speaker 1: I love everything about this. Let's figure this out. Let's

1596
01:11:34,640 --> 01:11:36,880
Speaker 1: try to get you on. And then so the next

1597
01:11:36,920 --> 01:11:39,240
Speaker 1: day I received a call from one another executive producer.

1598
01:11:39,680 --> 01:11:41,040
Speaker 1: Talked to her for like an hour and a half

1599
01:11:41,040 --> 01:11:43,560
Speaker 1: and she goes, Oh my gosh, like this you're you're fantastic.

1600
01:11:43,640 --> 01:11:45,759
Speaker 1: Let's get you streamline it. This is like in February

1601
01:11:45,800 --> 01:11:49,280
Speaker 1: of the show films in March. Um and I fortunately

1602
01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:51,599
Speaker 1: lived local in Los Angeles, and so they're like, come

1603
01:11:51,640 --> 01:11:54,280
Speaker 1: into these uh, coming to the office. Meet some of

1604
01:11:54,320 --> 01:11:56,639
Speaker 1: the producers will give you like the psych test, we'll

1605
01:11:56,680 --> 01:11:59,120
Speaker 1: give you the physical, we'll give you the background check.

1606
01:11:59,680 --> 01:12:01,200
Speaker 1: But we need to like do it as quickly as

1607
01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:04,040
Speaker 1: possible because the show starts filming in like a couple

1608
01:12:04,040 --> 01:12:06,240
Speaker 1: of weeks. Um and I was at a point in

1609
01:12:06,240 --> 01:12:08,040
Speaker 1: my life where I was single. My girlfriend and I

1610
01:12:08,040 --> 01:12:10,080
Speaker 1: had broken up a few months prior. We were still

1611
01:12:10,080 --> 01:12:12,760
Speaker 1: on like friendly terms, but obviously it wasn't really gonna

1612
01:12:12,800 --> 01:12:15,760
Speaker 1: amount to anything. Um, and so I was like, you

1613
01:12:15,760 --> 01:12:17,360
Speaker 1: know what, why not, Like, I don't really think I'm

1614
01:12:17,360 --> 01:12:18,320
Speaker 1: going to go on the show. I don't like, I

1615
01:12:18,320 --> 01:12:19,720
Speaker 1: don't I think they'll find a way to not want

1616
01:12:19,720 --> 01:12:23,280
Speaker 1: me on the show. So I did everything. Things started

1617
01:12:23,280 --> 01:12:25,080
Speaker 1: like progressing, and they were like, every time you get

1618
01:12:25,080 --> 01:12:26,800
Speaker 1: two dollar step in the process, You're like, is this real?

1619
01:12:26,880 --> 01:12:29,880
Speaker 1: I don't really know. Um. Everything happened so fast, and

1620
01:12:29,920 --> 01:12:31,880
Speaker 1: so eventually they were like, yeah, we like we want you.

1621
01:12:32,520 --> 01:12:35,040
Speaker 1: March thirteenth is your first day filming. Um. And there's

1622
01:12:35,160 --> 01:12:36,880
Speaker 1: like March five when they told me this or something

1623
01:12:36,920 --> 01:12:39,200
Speaker 1: like that, and I go like, are you sure? Like me,

1624
01:12:39,479 --> 01:12:43,160
Speaker 1: is this really like the real Bachelorette? So it's all

1625
01:12:43,200 --> 01:12:46,479
Speaker 1: like it is very confusing, especially if you're someone that's

1626
01:12:46,479 --> 01:12:48,160
Speaker 1: like not like I don't watch the show very often,

1627
01:12:48,200 --> 01:12:50,559
Speaker 1: but I knew about it. I watched like a couple

1628
01:12:50,640 --> 01:12:53,000
Speaker 1: episodes of Jojo season the day before going on to

1629
01:12:53,080 --> 01:12:54,639
Speaker 1: like kind of get an understanding for it a little

1630
01:12:54,640 --> 01:12:57,080
Speaker 1: bit more. Uh. But if I just like kind of

1631
01:12:57,200 --> 01:12:59,240
Speaker 1: did everything that they told me to do, and every

1632
01:12:59,240 --> 01:13:00,880
Speaker 1: time I went in talk to them, they're like, yeah,

1633
01:13:00,920 --> 01:13:02,680
Speaker 1: you're great. We think you're fantastic. We would love to

1634
01:13:02,720 --> 01:13:04,080
Speaker 1: have you on, and every time I was like, really,

1635
01:13:04,120 --> 01:13:07,640
Speaker 1: are you sure like me? Um? And then I went

1636
01:13:07,680 --> 01:13:10,840
Speaker 1: on and yeah, I think pretty pretty public knowledge. I

1637
01:13:10,880 --> 01:13:13,360
Speaker 1: packed to be on the show for like I expected

1638
01:13:13,400 --> 01:13:15,439
Speaker 1: to be gone night one back like a small Duffel

1639
01:13:15,479 --> 01:13:20,479
Speaker 1: bag backpack, uh, two suits, and I just like I

1640
01:13:20,479 --> 01:13:21,840
Speaker 1: thought I was gonna go home. I didn't tell any

1641
01:13:21,840 --> 01:13:25,000
Speaker 1: of my friends until like three of my best friends,

1642
01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:28,000
Speaker 1: obviously the one that nominated me, one of my roommates,

1643
01:13:28,479 --> 01:13:31,599
Speaker 1: and then like the day before I left, were having

1644
01:13:31,640 --> 01:13:34,120
Speaker 1: like a barbecue and I like told my guy friends,

1645
01:13:34,120 --> 01:13:36,479
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I'm going on the Bachelorette tomorrow, and

1646
01:13:36,560 --> 01:13:39,479
Speaker 1: no one else knew. And then funny enough, actually the

1647
01:13:39,520 --> 01:13:41,280
Speaker 1: first day that I was on the Bachelorette was the

1648
01:13:41,320 --> 01:13:43,880
Speaker 1: live show with Rachel, and so like everyone knew right

1649
01:13:43,880 --> 01:13:46,599
Speaker 1: away that I was on the show, but I didn't

1650
01:13:46,600 --> 01:13:48,040
Speaker 1: have my phone for the next two and a half months,

1651
01:13:48,040 --> 01:13:49,439
Speaker 1: so I couldn't like really talk to anyone about it.

1652
01:13:49,479 --> 01:13:51,479
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's how it happened. My friend just nominated

1653
01:13:51,520 --> 01:13:54,240
Speaker 1: me through Amy funny enough, and uh, it turned into

1654
01:13:54,280 --> 01:13:55,920
Speaker 1: be a much bigger thing than I ever expected it

1655
01:13:55,960 --> 01:13:58,519
Speaker 1: to be. Amy Schugman, who he's talking about who helped

1656
01:13:58,560 --> 01:14:01,040
Speaker 1: him also start his new career and podcasting with the

1657
01:14:01,080 --> 01:14:03,880
Speaker 1: help I Suck At Dating podcast. Uh, So go to

1658
01:14:03,920 --> 01:14:07,920
Speaker 1: your um wherever you listen to I heeart podcasts, Spotify,

1659
01:14:07,960 --> 01:14:11,600
Speaker 1: iHeart dot Com podcast iTunes. I don't know, and I

1660
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:15,479
Speaker 1: mean that podcast Help I Suck At Dating is fitting? Uh,

1661
01:14:15,760 --> 01:14:18,720
Speaker 1: because of your time on the Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise,

1662
01:14:19,240 --> 01:14:21,360
Speaker 1: your time on the Bachelrette, I would say we talked

1663
01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:23,720
Speaker 1: a lot about kind of the pivotal moments of it.

1664
01:14:24,240 --> 01:14:27,759
Speaker 1: Um your time with Rachel did end after hometowns um

1665
01:14:27,800 --> 01:14:32,720
Speaker 1: any residual consequences, good or bad from that season of

1666
01:14:32,720 --> 01:14:36,040
Speaker 1: the Bachelerette? Do you still have relationship with Rachel Um? Well,

1667
01:14:36,040 --> 01:14:37,600
Speaker 1: first and foremost, I was shocked I got sent home.

1668
01:14:37,600 --> 01:14:39,200
Speaker 1: When I did, I thought I was. I was like,

1669
01:14:39,320 --> 01:14:41,280
Speaker 1: because I saw a couple of my good friends at

1670
01:14:41,280 --> 01:14:43,439
Speaker 1: my hometown. They didn't er any of it, unfortunately, but

1671
01:14:44,200 --> 01:14:46,400
Speaker 1: I gotta hang out with him after like the night

1672
01:14:46,439 --> 01:14:48,240
Speaker 1: portion of my family a little bit. It was like

1673
01:14:48,280 --> 01:14:49,960
Speaker 1: an emotional time. So like they like, let me I

1674
01:14:50,080 --> 01:14:52,720
Speaker 1: have a couple of drinks of my friends like decompress

1675
01:14:52,720 --> 01:14:55,280
Speaker 1: and unlined a little bit, and I was like talking

1676
01:14:55,320 --> 01:14:56,920
Speaker 1: to them house like you, guys, I think she's gonna

1677
01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,320
Speaker 1: choose me, Like I'm pretty sure I'm the one, and

1678
01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:01,240
Speaker 1: they're like, wow, that's crazy. And like three days later

1679
01:15:01,280 --> 01:15:02,760
Speaker 1: I texted them I was yeah, because I'm not the one.

1680
01:15:03,680 --> 01:15:06,200
Speaker 1: Were you ready to get engaged Rachel? Um? I think

1681
01:15:06,200 --> 01:15:09,040
Speaker 1: at the time, I will. I don't know. In hindsight,

1682
01:15:09,080 --> 01:15:10,560
Speaker 1: it's easy to say no, that I wasn't ready to

1683
01:15:10,560 --> 01:15:12,519
Speaker 1: get engaged, but it's it's hard to put myself back

1684
01:15:12,560 --> 01:15:14,479
Speaker 1: in that situation and say one way or the other

1685
01:15:14,479 --> 01:15:16,880
Speaker 1: whether I was or not. Obviously Rachel made the right choice.

1686
01:15:16,880 --> 01:15:18,760
Speaker 1: She's she's married to the love of life, Brian, So

1687
01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:20,960
Speaker 1: it's weird even like put myself back in that situation

1688
01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:25,120
Speaker 1: at all. Um, But do I have a relationship with

1689
01:15:25,160 --> 01:15:27,040
Speaker 1: Rachel now? Not really? Like she obviously leads her life

1690
01:15:27,040 --> 01:15:30,920
Speaker 1: and I live my life. Um G, yeah, I don't know.

1691
01:15:31,960 --> 01:15:33,960
Speaker 1: What was the next question? That was it? Do you

1692
01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:36,679
Speaker 1: still have any like any any residual things in the Bachelor?

1693
01:15:36,720 --> 01:15:38,960
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like your time of the Bachelotte ended,

1694
01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:42,360
Speaker 1: and it's really we know you best through your time

1695
01:15:42,360 --> 01:15:44,720
Speaker 1: on Bachelor in Paradise, in bachel Order Game, I'm more well,

1696
01:15:45,200 --> 01:15:47,120
Speaker 1: more well defined and known for my time in Bachelor

1697
01:15:47,120 --> 01:15:49,120
Speaker 1: in Paradise, and I will say my time on Bachelotte.

1698
01:15:49,160 --> 01:15:52,160
Speaker 1: I mean it went overarchingly incredibly well, Like I was

1699
01:15:53,240 --> 01:15:55,200
Speaker 1: with Peter Krauss, you know, a fan favorite. There were

1700
01:15:55,240 --> 01:15:57,320
Speaker 1: really no negative things that were said about me, which

1701
01:15:57,360 --> 01:16:01,200
Speaker 1: was like and all honestly a bad first depression. Like

1702
01:16:01,240 --> 01:16:04,280
Speaker 1: it sucks that the first taste of like publicity that

1703
01:16:04,320 --> 01:16:07,679
Speaker 1: I've ever experienced my life was so overwhelmingly positive, because

1704
01:16:07,720 --> 01:16:09,479
Speaker 1: then that set me up to be so crushed by

1705
01:16:09,520 --> 01:16:11,559
Speaker 1: any negative publicity that I would received later on, which

1706
01:16:11,560 --> 01:16:15,560
Speaker 1: I obviously I never believed it. Um So my tagline

1707
01:16:15,680 --> 01:16:19,280
Speaker 1: was the perfect Ben you literally can't set yourself up

1708
01:16:19,320 --> 01:16:21,880
Speaker 1: for I get it any more failure than that. The

1709
01:16:21,960 --> 01:16:23,639
Speaker 1: perfect band. Well, you are a perfect tense. I guess

1710
01:16:23,680 --> 01:16:25,640
Speaker 1: that makes sense. I wonder what mine would have been,

1711
01:16:25,680 --> 01:16:29,439
Speaker 1: you think, because I didn't. I didn't limit a vent

1712
01:16:29,439 --> 01:16:30,720
Speaker 1: at the time. I was like a normal guy at

1713
01:16:30,720 --> 01:16:33,640
Speaker 1: the time. I mean, you had yeah, you still to

1714
01:16:33,680 --> 01:16:36,839
Speaker 1: this day. You you have an aura and a uniqueness

1715
01:16:36,880 --> 01:16:39,560
Speaker 1: about you that I think would have added some great taglines.

1716
01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:41,639
Speaker 1: And even then, people like you you have the movie

1717
01:16:41,640 --> 01:16:43,639
Speaker 1: star thing going for you. I don't know what that means,

1718
01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:45,479
Speaker 1: but I appreciate it. I think it's Yeah, it's a

1719
01:16:45,520 --> 01:16:47,960
Speaker 1: huge compliment. Yah, I meanly at least a minute as

1720
01:16:48,000 --> 01:16:49,760
Speaker 1: it so like they talked to me about Bachelor for

1721
01:16:49,880 --> 01:16:52,880
Speaker 1: for a hot minute. Actually, would you've done it? Yes,

1722
01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:55,000
Speaker 1: I said I would. I absolutely would never not like

1723
01:16:55,479 --> 01:16:57,400
Speaker 1: refuse that opportunity. I think I talked to you actually

1724
01:16:57,439 --> 01:16:59,120
Speaker 1: about a little bit, because we're talking about like money

1725
01:16:59,160 --> 01:17:00,320
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, and I just wanted to make

1726
01:17:00,320 --> 01:17:02,160
Speaker 1: sure I was getting a fair value for whatever the

1727
01:17:02,280 --> 01:17:07,640
Speaker 1: role entailed. Um. And when I met with the I

1728
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:09,240
Speaker 1: never met with like flies or any of them. But

1729
01:17:09,280 --> 01:17:11,040
Speaker 1: I met with like a couple of the executives for

1730
01:17:11,080 --> 01:17:14,799
Speaker 1: like n z K, the production team that makes The Bachelor,

1731
01:17:15,680 --> 01:17:17,519
Speaker 1: and I obviously met with the executive producers of the show,

1732
01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:18,960
Speaker 1: like Alan and Bennett and all kind of stuff. And

1733
01:17:18,920 --> 01:17:20,639
Speaker 1: I'm prettyure this is all fair to share. I don't

1734
01:17:20,640 --> 01:17:22,599
Speaker 1: really see why it wouldn't be. But we were talking,

1735
01:17:22,880 --> 01:17:26,320
Speaker 1: and this is a post Bachelor in Paradise filming pre airing,

1736
01:17:26,439 --> 01:17:28,240
Speaker 1: so they knew that things weren't gonna go look good

1737
01:17:28,240 --> 01:17:31,840
Speaker 1: for me. Um, But they they I think they sensed

1738
01:17:31,880 --> 01:17:34,439
Speaker 1: that like Peter, something wasn't gonna happen with him, which

1739
01:17:34,439 --> 01:17:36,559
Speaker 1: obviously you in neveratively fell through. I don't know exactly why,

1740
01:17:36,640 --> 01:17:40,439
Speaker 1: but um, they were talking to me about it and

1741
01:17:40,479 --> 01:17:42,280
Speaker 1: they were like, yeah, how do you feel about this?

1742
01:17:42,320 --> 01:17:43,639
Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't know if I believe

1743
01:17:43,680 --> 01:17:46,040
Speaker 1: in the institution of marriage as much as I as

1744
01:17:46,080 --> 01:17:48,240
Speaker 1: you need me to, I definitely don't believe in the

1745
01:17:48,280 --> 01:17:51,360
Speaker 1: idea of a diamond engagement ring. Um. I don't want

1746
01:17:51,360 --> 01:17:52,840
Speaker 1: my family to be a part of it at all

1747
01:17:53,360 --> 01:17:55,320
Speaker 1: because I saw how you guys like made it a

1748
01:17:55,400 --> 01:17:58,880
Speaker 1: big ordeal and I know that they would like Dean

1749
01:17:58,960 --> 01:18:00,960
Speaker 1: and Dean's father me to again sort of thing like

1750
01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:04,320
Speaker 1: that would have been a central storyline. I didn't want that. Um.

1751
01:18:04,360 --> 01:18:06,280
Speaker 1: And I said all these things, like to the executive

1752
01:18:06,280 --> 01:18:09,080
Speaker 1: producers and like the studio heads, and they were like, well,

1753
01:18:10,120 --> 01:18:11,960
Speaker 1: that's not really what we want to hear. It just

1754
01:18:11,960 --> 01:18:14,519
Speaker 1: isn't gonna work. You don't like what the concepts about.

1755
01:18:14,760 --> 01:18:17,960
Speaker 1: You're not into the symbolic ring that is makes the show,

1756
01:18:18,439 --> 01:18:20,080
Speaker 1: and you don't we don't. You don't want to be

1757
01:18:20,120 --> 01:18:22,519
Speaker 1: part of the main storyline that we want you Yeah, yeah,

1758
01:18:22,680 --> 01:18:25,280
Speaker 1: not cool. Um, but they're still Like It's funny because

1759
01:18:25,320 --> 01:18:27,120
Speaker 1: they have a good way of making you feel like

1760
01:18:27,240 --> 01:18:30,080
Speaker 1: you're still like the guy, you know what I mean,

1761
01:18:30,120 --> 01:18:32,240
Speaker 1: Like they still I still after leaving every meeting, I

1762
01:18:32,280 --> 01:18:34,880
Speaker 1: was still like, Wow, that went really well. Yeah, you

1763
01:18:34,920 --> 01:18:38,920
Speaker 1: don't doubt it. They they have mastered the art of humans.

1764
01:18:39,680 --> 01:18:44,960
Speaker 1: They have to direct communicate and get people to where

1765
01:18:44,960 --> 01:18:47,080
Speaker 1: they want. And honestly, like, I didn't want to be

1766
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:49,600
Speaker 1: the Bachelor, but I would never have said note to

1767
01:18:49,640 --> 01:18:53,519
Speaker 1: the opportunity, No you can't. And I mean, you know,

1768
01:18:53,600 --> 01:18:56,920
Speaker 1: today the Bachelor holds very little role in my life.

1769
01:18:57,200 --> 01:18:59,520
Speaker 1: I mean I still get asked about it every day

1770
01:18:59,680 --> 01:19:01,920
Speaker 1: and I still do a podcast that is about the

1771
01:19:01,920 --> 01:19:04,240
Speaker 1: bat Like, so from the outside looking in, it holds

1772
01:19:04,280 --> 01:19:07,320
Speaker 1: a tremendous role in my life. For my day to

1773
01:19:07,360 --> 01:19:08,880
Speaker 1: day life, it holds very little. Right. I have a

1774
01:19:08,920 --> 01:19:11,080
Speaker 1: girlfriend that is not at all associated with it. She

1775
01:19:11,120 --> 01:19:13,719
Speaker 1: doesn't even know a lot about the show. Um, I

1776
01:19:13,800 --> 01:19:16,479
Speaker 1: live in Denver that with with nobody that's from the

1777
01:19:16,479 --> 01:19:18,599
Speaker 1: Bachelor around me, and I haven't gone to a Bachelor

1778
01:19:18,680 --> 01:19:24,280
Speaker 1: event in years, Like they're I'm very disconnected at this point. Um,

1779
01:19:24,320 --> 01:19:28,479
Speaker 1: but I don't regret a second of it. Because of

1780
01:19:28,640 --> 01:19:32,880
Speaker 1: the people I've met working on the show and outside

1781
01:19:32,880 --> 01:19:35,800
Speaker 1: of the show, and if I feel like and for

1782
01:19:35,840 --> 01:19:38,040
Speaker 1: you too, and tell me if I'm wrong. It's helped

1783
01:19:38,080 --> 01:19:43,759
Speaker 1: us live out are our biggest passions. Absolutely. I'm incredibly

1784
01:19:43,760 --> 01:19:45,519
Speaker 1: grateful for the time that I had on the show

1785
01:19:46,200 --> 01:19:48,320
Speaker 1: and the things that it's allowed me to be able

1786
01:19:48,360 --> 01:19:50,160
Speaker 1: to do. I remember, like being a kid when I

1787
01:19:50,200 --> 01:19:52,559
Speaker 1: was in middle school, thinking things like, man, one day,

1788
01:19:52,600 --> 01:19:54,519
Speaker 1: I just really want to skydive, or like I want

1789
01:19:54,520 --> 01:19:55,960
Speaker 1: to scoop it. I wanna want her to fly. I

1790
01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:57,920
Speaker 1: want to travel to Egypt, like all these things that

1791
01:19:57,920 --> 01:19:59,680
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to do since the super young age,

1792
01:19:59,720 --> 01:20:01,120
Speaker 1: but I never out the ability to because I was

1793
01:20:01,160 --> 01:20:04,519
Speaker 1: making a year working fifty hours a week, living in

1794
01:20:04,560 --> 01:20:06,519
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, spending two thousand dollars a month on rent.

1795
01:20:06,760 --> 01:20:08,559
Speaker 1: It's just like there was no way to save money.

1796
01:20:08,880 --> 01:20:12,120
Speaker 1: And the Bachelor and it's some weird like in a

1797
01:20:12,120 --> 01:20:15,240
Speaker 1: way that I initially never expected it to gave me,

1798
01:20:15,280 --> 01:20:18,080
Speaker 1: like the time to do things. I got to quit

1799
01:20:18,120 --> 01:20:20,160
Speaker 1: my job, the financial freedom to do go put the

1800
01:20:20,160 --> 01:20:22,479
Speaker 1: places I wanted to go, and like the publicity you're

1801
01:20:22,520 --> 01:20:27,080
Speaker 1: notoriety to I don't want to say, be given things,

1802
01:20:27,080 --> 01:20:29,080
Speaker 1: but like to be to have doors open for you

1803
01:20:29,120 --> 01:20:30,840
Speaker 1: to go places that you never really would expected to

1804
01:20:30,840 --> 01:20:32,280
Speaker 1: be able to go. You know what I mean. I

1805
01:20:32,320 --> 01:20:36,040
Speaker 1: want to take a second here and pause because I'm

1806
01:20:36,080 --> 01:20:40,880
Speaker 1: I'm sensing when we get to this point in the podcast, Um,

1807
01:20:40,920 --> 01:20:45,000
Speaker 1: everything leading up to this, this conversation about the Bachelor

1808
01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:49,720
Speaker 1: feels so good and real, and then the Bachelor hits

1809
01:20:49,720 --> 01:20:52,200
Speaker 1: and almost like I feel like it's it's a little

1810
01:20:52,200 --> 01:20:54,000
Speaker 1: bit weak, it's a little bit more shallow than what

1811
01:20:54,040 --> 01:20:56,200
Speaker 1: I'd want to do with you. But I think there

1812
01:20:56,320 --> 01:20:58,040
Speaker 1: is this and what we're talking about here, and like

1813
01:20:58,040 --> 01:21:01,280
Speaker 1: we're saying, is the Bachelor. Let's legitimize a little bit.

1814
01:21:01,280 --> 01:21:04,120
Speaker 1: The Bachelor has played a huge role in your life,

1815
01:21:04,560 --> 01:21:07,200
Speaker 1: like it or not, and it's also allowed you to

1816
01:21:07,240 --> 01:21:10,400
Speaker 1: do and be a fuller version than of yourself than

1817
01:21:10,439 --> 01:21:13,400
Speaker 1: you ever dreamed of. So it is important for us

1818
01:21:13,439 --> 01:21:15,840
Speaker 1: to talk about the Bachelor because these things have helped

1819
01:21:15,840 --> 01:21:18,280
Speaker 1: define you for now how many years? How long has

1820
01:21:18,280 --> 01:21:19,840
Speaker 1: it been since you been on the show, and I

1821
01:21:19,880 --> 01:21:22,280
Speaker 1: think two and a half years of your life in

1822
01:21:22,320 --> 01:21:24,960
Speaker 1: your mid twenties, the Bachelor has been a part of it.

1823
01:21:25,280 --> 01:21:27,800
Speaker 1: Leading up to this, after Rachel's season of Bachelor. We

1824
01:21:27,880 --> 01:21:31,640
Speaker 1: found you in Bachelor in Paradise, Bachelor in Paradise. This

1825
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:34,920
Speaker 1: time Bachelor in Paradise helped lead to uh you now

1826
01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:37,160
Speaker 1: having the help I Second Dating podcast. And I want

1827
01:21:37,160 --> 01:21:40,880
Speaker 1: to know why, Dean, your time on Bachelor Paradise was

1828
01:21:40,960 --> 01:21:44,280
Speaker 1: not great? That the first time around? Right, the first

1829
01:21:44,320 --> 01:21:46,880
Speaker 1: time around is hard? Um, there was a lot of

1830
01:21:46,920 --> 01:21:54,280
Speaker 1: things that happened during that that that season, um, that

1831
01:21:54,400 --> 01:21:58,320
Speaker 1: I think affected people's image of you. And I don't

1832
01:21:58,320 --> 01:21:59,920
Speaker 1: believe it's at all why they want you on the

1833
01:22:00,120 --> 01:22:01,880
Speaker 1: in depth episode, but I want to I think people

1834
01:22:01,920 --> 01:22:04,559
Speaker 1: want to know why. And there's a thousand questions I

1835
01:22:04,560 --> 01:22:06,360
Speaker 1: could throughout you, like why did you do it the

1836
01:22:06,400 --> 01:22:07,840
Speaker 1: way you did? And I don't think that would that

1837
01:22:07,880 --> 01:22:10,280
Speaker 1: would be fair. I want to know what was it

1838
01:22:10,360 --> 01:22:12,400
Speaker 1: about that season in Bachelor in Paradise that you look

1839
01:22:12,439 --> 01:22:15,160
Speaker 1: back on and that you either regret or that you're

1840
01:22:15,240 --> 01:22:19,639
Speaker 1: proud of, or why did it go so wrong? Um? Yeah,

1841
01:22:19,680 --> 01:22:21,200
Speaker 1: I guess we can kind of dive into that a

1842
01:22:21,240 --> 01:22:24,240
Speaker 1: little bit. So when you're on the Bachelorette, obviously you're

1843
01:22:24,280 --> 01:22:26,240
Speaker 1: not working, you're not getting paid, but you still have

1844
01:22:26,280 --> 01:22:29,040
Speaker 1: your bills to pay. Back home, And like I said earlier,

1845
01:22:29,040 --> 01:22:31,479
Speaker 1: I was making fort k fort k a year living

1846
01:22:31,479 --> 01:22:33,800
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles, a lot of expenses, not a lot

1847
01:22:33,840 --> 01:22:36,479
Speaker 1: of income. I was flat broke by the time I

1848
01:22:36,479 --> 01:22:39,960
Speaker 1: got off Bachelor atte I think I had like hundred

1849
01:22:39,960 --> 01:22:41,960
Speaker 1: and forty dollars in my bank account and all all

1850
01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:43,880
Speaker 1: of my bank I had checking in and saving account

1851
01:22:43,920 --> 01:22:46,240
Speaker 1: hundred four dollars across to my name. Basically didn't own

1852
01:22:46,240 --> 01:22:49,559
Speaker 1: a car, didn't own anything. Um, it's just a weird

1853
01:22:49,560 --> 01:22:51,880
Speaker 1: spot to be in. Like you're basically starting at zero.

1854
01:22:51,920 --> 01:22:53,120
Speaker 1: And like I said earlier, like I don't have a

1855
01:22:53,120 --> 01:22:55,479
Speaker 1: safety net or anything like that. So it's like if

1856
01:22:55,520 --> 01:22:57,960
Speaker 1: I hit zero in my bank account and I am

1857
01:22:58,000 --> 01:22:59,960
Speaker 1: basically on the streets, right, I'm sure I could like

1858
01:23:00,000 --> 01:23:01,880
Speaker 1: find a friend to bring me into their house too,

1859
01:23:02,320 --> 01:23:03,760
Speaker 1: let me like couch her for a little bit. But

1860
01:23:03,800 --> 01:23:05,040
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that. No one wants to

1861
01:23:05,040 --> 01:23:09,080
Speaker 1: do that. Um. And so I was off the show.

1862
01:23:09,400 --> 01:23:13,599
Speaker 1: And let's see end of May and Paradise. No, I'm sorry,

1863
01:23:13,720 --> 01:23:17,080
Speaker 1: end of the beginning of May. Paradise began filming end

1864
01:23:17,120 --> 01:23:20,599
Speaker 1: of May, beginning of June. I don't know about those days.

1865
01:23:20,600 --> 01:23:22,160
Speaker 1: There's it's something like that that's off the show for

1866
01:23:22,200 --> 01:23:25,400
Speaker 1: a month, three to four weeks between Bachelorette filming and

1867
01:23:25,400 --> 01:23:29,479
Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise filming, and I had to make a decision, um,

1868
01:23:29,600 --> 01:23:33,040
Speaker 1: go back to work for three weeks and then leave

1869
01:23:33,040 --> 01:23:36,960
Speaker 1: again to potentially go to Bachelor in Paradise or two.

1870
01:23:38,800 --> 01:23:41,320
Speaker 1: I guess I didn't really know what the decision was between.

1871
01:23:41,360 --> 01:23:42,840
Speaker 1: But I had to borrow money for my brother. I

1872
01:23:42,840 --> 01:23:45,439
Speaker 1: borrowed a couple hundred dollars tied me over. But the

1873
01:23:45,520 --> 01:23:47,840
Speaker 1: decision to go to Paradise, and this might sound messed up,

1874
01:23:48,120 --> 01:23:50,720
Speaker 1: it was entirely financial. They were like, we're gonna offer

1875
01:23:50,800 --> 01:23:53,599
Speaker 1: you this much money to come onto a TV show

1876
01:23:53,600 --> 01:23:55,680
Speaker 1: where we're gonna feed you, give you drinks, in a

1877
01:23:55,720 --> 01:23:57,800
Speaker 1: place to sleep for however long you're here. And I

1878
01:23:57,800 --> 01:23:59,320
Speaker 1: was like, if I'm on that show for three days,

1879
01:23:59,360 --> 01:24:00,880
Speaker 1: I have more money bank acount I've ever had in

1880
01:24:00,880 --> 01:24:03,559
Speaker 1: my entire life. Absolutely signed me up, and I remember

1881
01:24:03,560 --> 01:24:05,360
Speaker 1: talking to my friends before I left. I was like, yeah,

1882
01:24:05,360 --> 01:24:08,519
Speaker 1: like I might make a thousand, two thousand dollars on

1883
01:24:08,560 --> 01:24:10,479
Speaker 1: this show and then go You're gonna have two thousand

1884
01:24:10,479 --> 01:24:12,400
Speaker 1: dollars in your bank account, that's crazy. How I know,

1885
01:24:12,479 --> 01:24:16,120
Speaker 1: that's insane. So the motive to go on bachelom in Paradise,

1886
01:24:16,160 --> 01:24:18,400
Speaker 1: and again it might sound messed up, was entirely financial

1887
01:24:18,840 --> 01:24:20,599
Speaker 1: because I needed to find a way to like obviously

1888
01:24:20,880 --> 01:24:23,759
Speaker 1: support myself there after. And this was before Bachelor already

1889
01:24:23,760 --> 01:24:26,200
Speaker 1: even aired, before I had even ever known that song

1890
01:24:26,240 --> 01:24:31,559
Speaker 1: as things on Instagram was a thing, and the I

1891
01:24:31,560 --> 01:24:33,720
Speaker 1: had entirely processed my relationship with Rachel. There was no

1892
01:24:34,000 --> 01:24:36,960
Speaker 1: hindrance going into bachelom in Paradise, that or anything that

1893
01:24:37,040 --> 01:24:40,160
Speaker 1: was holding onto from that first yow Bachelorette, right, I

1894
01:24:40,200 --> 01:24:41,760
Speaker 1: just didn't know what was gonna happen again. I thought

1895
01:24:41,760 --> 01:24:44,160
Speaker 1: I would go into bachelom in Paradise, not kiss a

1896
01:24:44,160 --> 01:24:46,640
Speaker 1: single person, not have anyone interested in me, uh, and

1897
01:24:46,680 --> 01:24:48,479
Speaker 1: then leave after a couple of days exactly how I

1898
01:24:48,560 --> 01:24:52,280
Speaker 1: ended up going into Bachelorette and I'll go into Paradise

1899
01:24:52,720 --> 01:24:54,920
Speaker 1: hit it off with Christina. Christina is a beautiful girl

1900
01:24:56,040 --> 01:24:59,200
Speaker 1: at the time, the most like beautiful girl I've ever

1901
01:24:59,200 --> 01:25:01,000
Speaker 1: seen in my entire life, you know, like I still

1902
01:25:01,000 --> 01:25:02,800
Speaker 1: haven't really had a taste of anything that kind of

1903
01:25:02,800 --> 01:25:04,880
Speaker 1: comes after the fact. So I was like head over

1904
01:25:04,920 --> 01:25:07,880
Speaker 1: heels for this girl solely just because she was so pretty. Um,

1905
01:25:07,960 --> 01:25:09,639
Speaker 1: and we had both were able to like bond over

1906
01:25:09,680 --> 01:25:11,920
Speaker 1: our traumatic past and like these these challenging things that

1907
01:25:11,960 --> 01:25:14,360
Speaker 1: we had to go through asque children. Um. And then

1908
01:25:14,360 --> 01:25:19,600
Speaker 1: the shutdown happened, and instead of flying from Mexico to

1909
01:25:19,640 --> 01:25:21,679
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, where I lived at the time, I decided

1910
01:25:21,680 --> 01:25:24,160
Speaker 1: to fly to Los Angeles to Kentucky, where Christina lived.

1911
01:25:24,200 --> 01:25:25,680
Speaker 1: And I was just like, yeah, I liked this girl.

1912
01:25:25,760 --> 01:25:27,160
Speaker 1: Let's see, I hadn't known her for three or four

1913
01:25:27,200 --> 01:25:28,559
Speaker 1: days at the time. Let's so if we can like

1914
01:25:28,600 --> 01:25:31,120
Speaker 1: hang out and see if anything goes anywhere. Um. So

1915
01:25:31,160 --> 01:25:33,840
Speaker 1: we fly back to Kentucky, spend a couple of days there. Like,

1916
01:25:33,880 --> 01:25:36,400
Speaker 1: I'm head over heels, like obsessed with this girl. I

1917
01:25:36,479 --> 01:25:38,000
Speaker 1: might calling my best friends. I was like, I met

1918
01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:40,760
Speaker 1: the best girl, like the greatest girl in the world. Um,

1919
01:25:40,880 --> 01:25:42,760
Speaker 1: and she was she is she wasn't is great, She's

1920
01:25:42,760 --> 01:25:45,479
Speaker 1: a great person. Obviously things fell apart later on, but

1921
01:25:45,720 --> 01:25:47,640
Speaker 1: I remember we then decided to drive to Chicago. From

1922
01:25:47,720 --> 01:25:49,880
Speaker 1: Lexington to Chicago, It's like a six hour drive to

1923
01:25:49,920 --> 01:25:51,800
Speaker 1: meet up with a couple of our friends who lived

1924
01:25:51,800 --> 01:25:54,600
Speaker 1: in Chicago who wanted to go out and party with so,

1925
01:25:54,760 --> 01:25:56,400
Speaker 1: like we drove up there, we met up with them,

1926
01:25:56,400 --> 01:25:58,599
Speaker 1: partied a little bit. Things got a little tense between

1927
01:25:58,640 --> 01:26:00,240
Speaker 1: me and Christina, Like we went out for the first

1928
01:26:00,240 --> 01:26:02,439
Speaker 1: time to like a club together, and we started like

1929
01:26:02,680 --> 01:26:07,200
Speaker 1: it was like our first taste of like our incompatibility whatever. Um,

1930
01:26:07,280 --> 01:26:10,360
Speaker 1: And so I left that. We left that to get

1931
01:26:10,360 --> 01:26:12,160
Speaker 1: she had to drive back to Lexington, but I flew

1932
01:26:12,200 --> 01:26:13,800
Speaker 1: to Denver to meet up with my friend to drive

1933
01:26:13,840 --> 01:26:15,599
Speaker 1: back to like kind of a long story, weird story,

1934
01:26:16,000 --> 01:26:18,080
Speaker 1: but even to get from Chicago to Denver, I like

1935
01:26:18,120 --> 01:26:19,439
Speaker 1: had to call my friend Iggy. I was like, Hey,

1936
01:26:19,439 --> 01:26:21,280
Speaker 1: can I borrow eighty bucks to get this flight from

1937
01:26:21,720 --> 01:26:25,040
Speaker 1: Chicago to Denver? Because that's how broke I was. And

1938
01:26:25,080 --> 01:26:27,439
Speaker 1: I think that drove a lot of insecurity in me

1939
01:26:27,479 --> 01:26:30,160
Speaker 1: as well, because it's like it's hard to it's hard

1940
01:26:30,200 --> 01:26:33,600
Speaker 1: to consider yourself like a a viable partner when you

1941
01:26:33,600 --> 01:26:35,599
Speaker 1: don't really have much money, enough money to support yourself,

1942
01:26:35,640 --> 01:26:36,760
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So I think that that

1943
01:26:36,840 --> 01:26:39,200
Speaker 1: drove a lot of insecurity through me. Uh. And then

1944
01:26:39,320 --> 01:26:41,160
Speaker 1: on my way back from Denver to Los Angeles with

1945
01:26:41,240 --> 01:26:44,639
Speaker 1: my with my buddy, I got the call saying that

1946
01:26:44,880 --> 01:26:48,120
Speaker 1: Bachelor and Paradise were to kick back up and we

1947
01:26:48,120 --> 01:26:50,080
Speaker 1: would like go back and resume filming in a couple

1948
01:26:50,120 --> 01:26:52,160
Speaker 1: of days. And again I was like great, Like I can.

1949
01:26:53,120 --> 01:26:54,720
Speaker 1: I was gonna make like three or three, like two

1950
01:26:54,800 --> 01:26:56,320
Speaker 1: or three thousand dollars and I can go back and

1951
01:26:56,360 --> 01:26:59,840
Speaker 1: make even more than that, which is fantastic. Um. And

1952
01:27:00,040 --> 01:27:01,640
Speaker 1: like things with Christine and I were going fine, but

1953
01:27:01,720 --> 01:27:03,679
Speaker 1: there was this weird like after that night in Chicago,

1954
01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:06,439
Speaker 1: things didn't really go well, and like something just didn't

1955
01:27:06,439 --> 01:27:08,280
Speaker 1: sit right and I just didn't didn't really feel like

1956
01:27:08,320 --> 01:27:10,840
Speaker 1: a long term thing. Um. And again I think that

1957
01:27:10,920 --> 01:27:12,519
Speaker 1: it just semmed from a lot of insecurities that I

1958
01:27:12,520 --> 01:27:15,800
Speaker 1: possessed at the time, and like uncertainty of what the

1959
01:27:15,840 --> 01:27:19,720
Speaker 1: future held. So we go back to Paradise, and I

1960
01:27:19,760 --> 01:27:23,240
Speaker 1: guess even before going to Paradise the first time, obviously

1961
01:27:23,240 --> 01:27:25,040
Speaker 1: I told the producers I was like super interested in

1962
01:27:25,080 --> 01:27:29,120
Speaker 1: me Danielle, and they obviously knew that, and they decided

1963
01:27:29,160 --> 01:27:32,960
Speaker 1: to send her in. Right after that, the shutdown stopped

1964
01:27:32,960 --> 01:27:35,760
Speaker 1: and the show resumed. And this is the girl that

1965
01:27:35,800 --> 01:27:39,360
Speaker 1: I like held so highly in my eyes. I was

1966
01:27:39,360 --> 01:27:41,080
Speaker 1: like super attracted to her. She seemed like a really

1967
01:27:41,120 --> 01:27:43,000
Speaker 1: interesting person. And then obviously we met on the show

1968
01:27:43,520 --> 01:27:46,160
Speaker 1: and I was like, Wow, this beautiful girl is like

1969
01:27:46,240 --> 01:27:48,200
Speaker 1: super into me in the weirdest way. But she like

1970
01:27:48,400 --> 01:27:50,639
Speaker 1: she expressed interest in me, but she still like pulled

1971
01:27:50,680 --> 01:27:53,200
Speaker 1: away a lot. UM and I like for something like

1972
01:27:53,240 --> 01:27:55,639
Speaker 1: something about the chase, like really like ignited to spark

1973
01:27:55,640 --> 01:27:59,280
Speaker 1: and interest in me. Um. And then meanwhile, Christina obviously

1974
01:27:59,280 --> 01:28:00,800
Speaker 1: and I had the sister together because we had just

1975
01:28:00,800 --> 01:28:03,679
Speaker 1: spent a couple of days in Kentucky together in Chicago, UM,

1976
01:28:03,760 --> 01:28:05,439
Speaker 1: and we had known each other for like a week

1977
01:28:05,520 --> 01:28:08,519
Speaker 1: or a couple of weeks at that point. And I

1978
01:28:08,520 --> 01:28:10,640
Speaker 1: don't know, I think that I think that if I

1979
01:28:10,640 --> 01:28:12,439
Speaker 1: could go back and do it differently, I don't know

1980
01:28:12,520 --> 01:28:14,519
Speaker 1: if I would. It's hard to say. Obviously I would,

1981
01:28:14,520 --> 01:28:17,360
Speaker 1: I would, I don't know. I don't think I was

1982
01:28:17,360 --> 01:28:18,840
Speaker 1: ready to be in a relationship at the time. I guess,

1983
01:28:18,840 --> 01:28:20,160
Speaker 1: really is what it boils down to. I shouldn't have

1984
01:28:20,160 --> 01:28:22,160
Speaker 1: gone a bachelor in Paradise because I didn't want to

1985
01:28:22,160 --> 01:28:23,960
Speaker 1: be in a relationship, like the fact that it was

1986
01:28:23,960 --> 01:28:26,639
Speaker 1: a financial move for me rather than like I want

1987
01:28:26,640 --> 01:28:29,120
Speaker 1: to find someone moved for me. I think really kind

1988
01:28:29,120 --> 01:28:32,600
Speaker 1: of with me a lot. Sorry the language. Uh, And

1989
01:28:32,640 --> 01:28:34,559
Speaker 1: that's kind of how I've always been in Los Angeles too,

1990
01:28:34,560 --> 01:28:36,080
Speaker 1: Like I would never go on dates with the intent

1991
01:28:36,200 --> 01:28:37,640
Speaker 1: to have a girlfriend, you know, Like before I went

1992
01:28:37,680 --> 01:28:39,080
Speaker 1: on the TV show, I would never go on dates

1993
01:28:39,080 --> 01:28:40,800
Speaker 1: to like they're like, oh, I wonder this girl's like

1994
01:28:41,080 --> 01:28:44,480
Speaker 1: a suitable partner for me, you know what I mean. Um,

1995
01:28:44,600 --> 01:28:46,439
Speaker 1: So I've always kind of sucked at dating in that sense,

1996
01:28:46,800 --> 01:28:48,479
Speaker 1: and then to just go on the show and have

1997
01:28:48,520 --> 01:28:51,439
Speaker 1: it like kind of be nationally televised, it was it

1998
01:28:51,479 --> 01:28:54,840
Speaker 1: was a long time coming, right Like even throughout Bachelorette,

1999
01:28:54,840 --> 01:28:56,519
Speaker 1: I would get text from like x's or girls that

2000
01:28:56,520 --> 01:28:59,320
Speaker 1: I went on dates with, uh, not girls I want

2001
01:28:59,320 --> 01:29:01,839
Speaker 1: to dates with, but like okay a girl I dated,

2002
01:29:02,240 --> 01:29:05,479
Speaker 1: and then even like my ex girlfriend, they're like, wow,

2003
01:29:05,520 --> 01:29:08,120
Speaker 1: You're getting a lot of positive attention and like that's

2004
01:29:08,160 --> 01:29:13,760
Speaker 1: not really right, um because I just like in a

2005
01:29:13,800 --> 01:29:17,879
Speaker 1: in a real world setting, I'm not that's like focused

2006
01:29:17,880 --> 01:29:19,599
Speaker 1: on one person, you know what I mean. And that's

2007
01:29:19,800 --> 01:29:21,800
Speaker 1: and is do you believe that is the reason that

2008
01:29:21,840 --> 01:29:23,640
Speaker 1: you suck at dating is because it's hard for you

2009
01:29:23,680 --> 01:29:25,800
Speaker 1: to focus on one person. It's hard for me to

2010
01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:29,120
Speaker 1: especially then it's I'm getting better at this, but it's

2011
01:29:29,120 --> 01:29:32,400
Speaker 1: hard for me to I enjoy the good times obviously,

2012
01:29:32,439 --> 01:29:33,720
Speaker 1: but it's hard for me to like want to like

2013
01:29:33,720 --> 01:29:35,519
Speaker 1: stick around through the bad times. Like if you get

2014
01:29:35,520 --> 01:29:37,000
Speaker 1: an argument, I'm all right, Well, if we're getting an

2015
01:29:37,040 --> 01:29:38,639
Speaker 1: arguments right now, like, there's no reason to stick around.

2016
01:29:38,640 --> 01:29:39,840
Speaker 1: I don't see the value in it, you know what

2017
01:29:39,920 --> 01:29:43,559
Speaker 1: I mean. That's something I'm working on, and I think

2018
01:29:43,600 --> 01:29:46,200
Speaker 1: I've actually gone a lot from both the show, the

2019
01:29:46,240 --> 01:29:49,080
Speaker 1: podcasts and just life in general. Um But at the time,

2020
01:29:49,120 --> 01:29:51,920
Speaker 1: I was like, any any whiff of trouble, I'm out,

2021
01:29:52,000 --> 01:29:53,560
Speaker 1: you know, like there's no point in sticking around and

2022
01:29:53,640 --> 01:29:57,760
Speaker 1: something it's difficult. What's the point of it? Um? So yeah,

2023
01:29:57,800 --> 01:30:01,280
Speaker 1: So it was basically me like Para Actu in Paradise

2024
01:30:01,280 --> 01:30:03,240
Speaker 1: was a more accurate representation of who I was at

2025
01:30:03,240 --> 01:30:05,360
Speaker 1: the time than Bachelorrette for me, you know what I mean.

2026
01:30:05,800 --> 01:30:07,200
Speaker 1: And so it was hard, Like I said earlier, it

2027
01:30:07,240 --> 01:30:10,120
Speaker 1: was hard to go from that uh pedestal of like

2028
01:30:10,640 --> 01:30:14,520
Speaker 1: very well liked contestant to them like very heavily criticized

2029
01:30:14,560 --> 01:30:17,559
Speaker 1: contestant and rightfully so, like I should have been criticized.

2030
01:30:17,600 --> 01:30:22,120
Speaker 1: I think I could have handled things obviously much better. Um.

2031
01:30:22,160 --> 01:30:24,920
Speaker 1: But but yeah, that was that was a challenging time.

2032
01:30:25,560 --> 01:30:26,680
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of it too, was like

2033
01:30:26,720 --> 01:30:28,519
Speaker 1: it was just everything was so new, Like I had

2034
01:30:28,520 --> 01:30:31,600
Speaker 1: never really had like an open bar to drink as

2035
01:30:31,680 --> 01:30:33,400
Speaker 1: much as I could possibly drink. I never had this

2036
01:30:33,479 --> 01:30:36,760
Speaker 1: much attention from two women that were just like way

2037
01:30:36,800 --> 01:30:38,560
Speaker 1: too attractive to be talking to me, you know what

2038
01:30:38,640 --> 01:30:40,760
Speaker 1: I mean. Um, And I think I was just kind

2039
01:30:40,760 --> 01:30:42,120
Speaker 1: of like a weird in a weird way, like a

2040
01:30:42,200 --> 01:30:43,800
Speaker 1: kid in a candy store. So I just didn't really

2041
01:30:43,800 --> 01:30:46,000
Speaker 1: have it. Like the paradox of choice is just kind

2042
01:30:46,040 --> 01:30:49,679
Speaker 1: of overwhelming me. Um. And yeah, that that whole saga

2043
01:30:49,760 --> 01:30:53,439
Speaker 1: was like pretty taxing on me mentally, um and obviously

2044
01:30:53,439 --> 01:30:56,000
Speaker 1: on the two girls as well. But so even though

2045
01:30:56,000 --> 01:30:59,080
Speaker 1: all this stuff that's happening you could watch and say, yeah,

2046
01:30:59,080 --> 01:31:01,840
Speaker 1: this is true, this is how happening, this is just

2047
01:31:02,000 --> 01:31:05,280
Speaker 1: my own issues, it was still taxing on you mentally. Oh.

2048
01:31:05,320 --> 01:31:08,240
Speaker 1: I was like super depressed throughout the whole process and

2049
01:31:08,280 --> 01:31:13,320
Speaker 1: walks my girlfriend. H Um. There was a there was

2050
01:31:13,320 --> 01:31:15,400
Speaker 1: a lot of like depression and anxiety and stress that

2051
01:31:15,439 --> 01:31:16,640
Speaker 1: were going through my head. Wh all that all that

2052
01:31:16,680 --> 01:31:19,600
Speaker 1: was airing. But again it was like, it wasn't like

2053
01:31:19,680 --> 01:31:21,840
Speaker 1: unjust like it's not that I shouldn't have been receiving

2054
01:31:21,920 --> 01:31:25,439
Speaker 1: that it was it was me because I was just

2055
01:31:25,520 --> 01:31:29,439
Speaker 1: acting uh wrongly. I think a lot of it too,

2056
01:31:29,439 --> 01:31:30,599
Speaker 1: was like I said, I was like I would get

2057
01:31:30,640 --> 01:31:33,160
Speaker 1: really drunk when I was on the show, and I think,

2058
01:31:33,200 --> 01:31:34,840
Speaker 1: in hindsight, like if I could go back, I would

2059
01:31:34,840 --> 01:31:36,160
Speaker 1: just not drink because I would make a lot more

2060
01:31:36,160 --> 01:31:39,639
Speaker 1: conscious decisions, just better decisions. Um. Even now, Like I

2061
01:31:39,720 --> 01:31:41,719
Speaker 1: like when I was twenty six, I was like partying

2062
01:31:41,760 --> 01:31:43,599
Speaker 1: a lot a lot. Now at twenty I don't really

2063
01:31:43,640 --> 01:31:45,880
Speaker 1: go out ever. You know. We went to the party

2064
01:31:46,240 --> 01:31:47,400
Speaker 1: the other day and I was like the first time

2065
01:31:47,400 --> 01:31:50,559
Speaker 1: we were really party together. Calin and I, um and

2066
01:31:50,840 --> 01:31:53,040
Speaker 1: four or five months of dating, which I think is great,

2067
01:31:53,120 --> 01:31:56,320
Speaker 1: but we like watching that stuff back. I was like,

2068
01:31:57,479 --> 01:31:58,960
Speaker 1: I was like, yes, this is me who I This

2069
01:31:59,000 --> 01:32:01,080
Speaker 1: is like who I am now in this moment of

2070
01:32:01,120 --> 01:32:03,800
Speaker 1: life or whatever, in this in this snapshot of life.

2071
01:32:04,840 --> 01:32:06,760
Speaker 1: And it's just like it wasn't very obviously the best

2072
01:32:06,840 --> 01:32:10,559
Speaker 1: version of myself. You know. That's That's one thing that

2073
01:32:10,600 --> 01:32:13,880
Speaker 1: I don't think we've seen out of you through television,

2074
01:32:14,880 --> 01:32:17,720
Speaker 1: is you upset and I think that's the one thing

2075
01:32:17,760 --> 01:32:20,639
Speaker 1: that people probably like, I want to ring your next

2076
01:32:20,680 --> 01:32:24,920
Speaker 1: sometimes and be like you, you aren't showing any emotion here. Um,

2077
01:32:24,960 --> 01:32:29,040
Speaker 1: there's been moments, but it's quickly moved on from And

2078
01:32:29,080 --> 01:32:31,160
Speaker 1: I think to hear that this really hurt you or

2079
01:32:31,200 --> 01:32:35,760
Speaker 1: affected you or allowed you to look inward, I think,

2080
01:32:35,920 --> 01:32:40,280
Speaker 1: I don't know, there's a there's a it's it encourages

2081
01:32:40,320 --> 01:32:44,160
Speaker 1: me as a friend maybe, but also it hurts because

2082
01:32:44,160 --> 01:32:46,120
Speaker 1: I know that it was just I mean, that season

2083
01:32:46,120 --> 01:32:49,559
Speaker 1: of life is so confusing because there's a thousand things

2084
01:32:49,640 --> 01:32:51,679
Speaker 1: coming at you. You're dating people that you never imagine

2085
01:32:51,680 --> 01:32:54,160
Speaker 1: that you'd be dating in your life, right, I mean,

2086
01:32:54,640 --> 01:32:57,120
Speaker 1: you're you're batting way out of your league every time

2087
01:32:57,120 --> 01:32:59,400
Speaker 1: you talk to a woman in Paradise or on the show.

2088
01:33:00,920 --> 01:33:02,640
Speaker 1: And then when it comes back and it feels like

2089
01:33:02,680 --> 01:33:07,120
Speaker 1: you're alone in it and everybody's criticizing you it, it

2090
01:33:07,200 --> 01:33:10,360
Speaker 1: does get depressing. And and to know that that's how

2091
01:33:10,360 --> 01:33:14,880
Speaker 1: it affected you opened my eyes to something I've never seen. Yeah,

2092
01:33:15,040 --> 01:33:16,640
Speaker 1: it's it's hard to kind of put myself back in

2093
01:33:16,640 --> 01:33:20,440
Speaker 1: that situation too, because there was so it was challenging.

2094
01:33:20,520 --> 01:33:22,200
Speaker 1: And I think that the people that I was surrounded

2095
01:33:22,240 --> 01:33:25,760
Speaker 1: by like the people from the show. Specifically I had

2096
01:33:25,840 --> 01:33:27,640
Speaker 1: I hadn't really had the chance to get to know

2097
01:33:27,640 --> 01:33:29,760
Speaker 1: a lot of people from the show, like super well,

2098
01:33:29,760 --> 01:33:31,120
Speaker 1: like I've gotten to know you over the past two

2099
01:33:31,120 --> 01:33:36,479
Speaker 1: and a half years. Um, I don't. I mean, I

2100
01:33:36,520 --> 01:33:40,240
Speaker 1: don't really know how to say this, but like, I

2101
01:33:40,320 --> 01:33:44,960
Speaker 1: like because I continue to date Christina after Bachelor in Paradise, right,

2102
01:33:45,160 --> 01:33:46,559
Speaker 1: I did a deal for like a short amount of

2103
01:33:46,560 --> 01:33:49,680
Speaker 1: time after the Paradise um, but then I called that

2104
01:33:49,760 --> 01:33:52,040
Speaker 1: off because I still have feelings for Christina. The reason

2105
01:33:52,080 --> 01:33:53,960
Speaker 1: I called Christina off the first time was because I

2106
01:33:54,000 --> 01:33:56,640
Speaker 1: like didn't like a lot of the things that I

2107
01:33:56,680 --> 01:33:58,720
Speaker 1: had heard from other people. But then I realized that

2108
01:33:58,720 --> 01:34:03,160
Speaker 1: I shouldn't be upset by those things, and so, um,

2109
01:34:03,280 --> 01:34:05,040
Speaker 1: it was just like this weird bit of confusion that

2110
01:34:05,120 --> 01:34:08,640
Speaker 1: I was constantly in but throughout Paradise airing. And I

2111
01:34:08,640 --> 01:34:10,760
Speaker 1: don't want to like put Christine on the spot or

2112
01:34:10,760 --> 01:34:13,280
Speaker 1: anything like this, but like there was just no support

2113
01:34:13,360 --> 01:34:15,719
Speaker 1: from this person that I was like trying to invest

2114
01:34:15,960 --> 01:34:18,640
Speaker 1: into and like supposedly cared about me. There was no

2115
01:34:18,680 --> 01:34:21,280
Speaker 1: support from her at any moment throughout those times. Maybe

2116
01:34:21,280 --> 01:34:25,400
Speaker 1: like maybe glimpses and very privately but publicly she was

2117
01:34:25,439 --> 01:34:28,160
Speaker 1: like very critical of me because I don't know exactly

2118
01:34:28,200 --> 01:34:32,040
Speaker 1: why she wanted to play that role I suppose, um,

2119
01:34:32,080 --> 01:34:34,120
Speaker 1: and that really took a big toll on me as well,

2120
01:34:34,160 --> 01:34:36,479
Speaker 1: where I was like going through this really challenging time

2121
01:34:36,880 --> 01:34:41,200
Speaker 1: publicly and and and and openly, but then I wasn't

2122
01:34:41,200 --> 01:34:42,840
Speaker 1: really receiving much support on the back end or like

2123
01:34:42,960 --> 01:34:45,600
Speaker 1: behind the closed doors. Um, And so that was like

2124
01:34:45,640 --> 01:34:48,200
Speaker 1: a super I don't know, it was just a really

2125
01:34:48,280 --> 01:34:49,800
Speaker 1: weird time in my life where I like I thought

2126
01:34:49,840 --> 01:34:53,360
Speaker 1: that things were supposed to be this way with this person,

2127
01:34:54,200 --> 01:34:56,560
Speaker 1: and like I was like trying to convince myself consistently

2128
01:34:56,600 --> 01:34:59,320
Speaker 1: that like what was happening was normal and it was okay,

2129
01:34:59,360 --> 01:35:01,120
Speaker 1: and it was like easy to look past. But then

2130
01:35:01,160 --> 01:35:03,960
Speaker 1: like the longer, like the more time we're on, I

2131
01:35:04,040 --> 01:35:06,160
Speaker 1: just began to realize that wasn't normal and it wasn't

2132
01:35:06,200 --> 01:35:10,479
Speaker 1: like right, it wasn't okay. So it leads you to

2133
01:35:10,520 --> 01:35:12,160
Speaker 1: where you're at now. We we had a stint on

2134
01:35:12,240 --> 01:35:15,280
Speaker 1: Bachelor Winter Games. Um, you did walk away from Bachelor

2135
01:35:15,439 --> 01:35:18,920
Speaker 1: with Games in a relationship with Leslie. We publicly, Actually

2136
01:35:19,280 --> 01:35:21,439
Speaker 1: I was able to be with you and hunder Um

2137
01:35:21,479 --> 01:35:25,160
Speaker 1: at one point, Um, that's ended, and it leads you

2138
01:35:25,280 --> 01:35:29,160
Speaker 1: up to this paradise this season, um, which was another

2139
01:35:29,280 --> 01:35:35,320
Speaker 1: shocking twist for Dean Angler. Um. But here's where Here's

2140
01:35:35,320 --> 01:35:37,120
Speaker 1: where I want to sit at for one second, is

2141
01:35:37,920 --> 01:35:39,840
Speaker 1: all these things that we've talked about leading up to

2142
01:35:39,840 --> 01:35:43,320
Speaker 1: this point have helped me understand you better as a friend.

2143
01:35:43,920 --> 01:35:46,679
Speaker 1: And this season on Paradise helped me understand you better

2144
01:35:46,720 --> 01:35:49,960
Speaker 1: because yes, from a viewer's perspective, it was entertaining you

2145
01:35:50,080 --> 01:35:53,719
Speaker 1: going down there. Uh, your relationship with Kalen, you leaving

2146
01:35:55,240 --> 01:35:57,720
Speaker 1: the pain that that cause and going Dean, you've done

2147
01:35:57,720 --> 01:36:01,759
Speaker 1: it again. Bring on the criticism, Bring on the critics.

2148
01:36:02,000 --> 01:36:07,400
Speaker 1: The charming man is deceitful because charm is deceitful. But

2149
01:36:07,479 --> 01:36:11,160
Speaker 1: the man I knew was missing there and you came

2150
01:36:11,200 --> 01:36:18,120
Speaker 1: back and you're dating here today. Um. Through the years

2151
01:36:18,120 --> 01:36:19,439
Speaker 1: and years that you've been on the show and now

2152
01:36:19,479 --> 01:36:21,320
Speaker 1: your second time on Paradise in a time and Winter

2153
01:36:21,439 --> 01:36:23,840
Speaker 1: Games and you're talking about sorry, why did you want

2154
01:36:23,840 --> 01:36:29,880
Speaker 1: to come back for calin? Uh? Why did I want

2155
01:36:29,880 --> 01:36:32,679
Speaker 1: to come back? What did you learn through those things

2156
01:36:33,240 --> 01:36:36,240
Speaker 1: about the relationships that have failed? The people that you've

2157
01:36:36,280 --> 01:36:38,320
Speaker 1: lost contact with them, assuming at this point Christina and

2158
01:36:38,800 --> 01:36:41,920
Speaker 1: Daniel are no longer a part of your life, Rachel, isn't,

2159
01:36:41,920 --> 01:36:44,040
Speaker 1: we've clarified, is not really a part of your life.

2160
01:36:44,760 --> 01:36:47,880
Speaker 1: What is it about these relationships publicly that you've dated

2161
01:36:47,920 --> 01:36:50,800
Speaker 1: within that's allowed you to lead learn enough about who

2162
01:36:50,840 --> 01:36:52,479
Speaker 1: you're looking for, what you're looking for, and what you

2163
01:36:52,520 --> 01:36:55,479
Speaker 1: wanted to say. I'm gonna take the risk, and it's

2164
01:36:55,479 --> 01:36:56,840
Speaker 1: not gonna be easy. I'm gonna fly all the way

2165
01:36:56,840 --> 01:36:59,639
Speaker 1: back down to Mexico to pick a girl up off

2166
01:36:59,640 --> 01:37:03,920
Speaker 1: a beat because I need to know something more about her. Yeah,

2167
01:37:03,920 --> 01:37:06,200
Speaker 1: that was an interesting time, um to start kind of

2168
01:37:06,200 --> 01:37:08,000
Speaker 1: from the beginning of going to Batch. I think I

2169
01:37:08,000 --> 01:37:10,400
Speaker 1: got to call for this bachelor in Paradise around February.

2170
01:37:10,439 --> 01:37:12,519
Speaker 1: I was in Japan with my friend. They called me,

2171
01:37:12,960 --> 01:37:14,240
Speaker 1: and at the time I was like, absolutely not. I

2172
01:37:14,280 --> 01:37:15,840
Speaker 1: don't want to be in a relationship right now. Like

2173
01:37:15,880 --> 01:37:18,880
Speaker 1: I've got these plans to move into a van and

2174
01:37:18,920 --> 01:37:22,880
Speaker 1: focus on myself and like explore every avenue of interest

2175
01:37:22,920 --> 01:37:25,080
Speaker 1: that I could possibly have, So like, Paradise not gonna

2176
01:37:25,080 --> 01:37:27,479
Speaker 1: happen unless you pay me more money than you. I

2177
01:37:27,600 --> 01:37:30,639
Speaker 1: literally said, I found out the most money that anyone's

2178
01:37:30,640 --> 01:37:32,679
Speaker 1: ever made on the show, and I requested one dollar

2179
01:37:32,800 --> 01:37:35,200
Speaker 1: more than that person made. I said, I'm not doing

2180
01:37:35,200 --> 01:37:37,120
Speaker 1: it for a dollar less than this number. You are

2181
01:37:37,200 --> 01:37:43,160
Speaker 1: a nurse. And eventually it came like I got laughed

2182
01:37:43,160 --> 01:37:45,320
Speaker 1: at and hung up on. Basically, they called me back

2183
01:37:45,320 --> 01:37:47,000
Speaker 1: a couple of months, a month or two later and

2184
01:37:47,000 --> 01:37:49,240
Speaker 1: they're like, Okay, have you reconsidered. I go, yes, I'll

2185
01:37:49,280 --> 01:37:51,799
Speaker 1: do it for this much money, still an exorbitant, ridiculous

2186
01:37:51,840 --> 01:37:55,400
Speaker 1: amount that is just never going to be approved. Hung

2187
01:37:55,479 --> 01:37:57,760
Speaker 1: up on me again. And then eventually I was like

2188
01:37:57,760 --> 01:37:59,360
Speaker 1: talking to my friends about it and they're like, you know,

2189
01:37:59,520 --> 01:38:00,960
Speaker 1: like whatever. Think. I was talking to Nick about it,

2190
01:38:00,960 --> 01:38:02,760
Speaker 1: actually he goes, what do you have to lose? Like,

2191
01:38:02,800 --> 01:38:04,280
Speaker 1: you're not You're not like going to miss out or

2192
01:38:04,320 --> 01:38:06,400
Speaker 1: anything by going down to the beach. It's it would

2193
01:38:06,439 --> 01:38:08,920
Speaker 1: be another fun experience, just like you know yourself better,

2194
01:38:08,920 --> 01:38:11,479
Speaker 1: behavi yourself better this time too, So like, yeah, I

2195
01:38:11,479 --> 01:38:14,640
Speaker 1: guess I'll give it a go. We'll see what happens. Um.

2196
01:38:14,680 --> 01:38:16,719
Speaker 1: I had grown out like my facial like my goute

2197
01:38:17,360 --> 01:38:20,280
Speaker 1: a lot randomly, and I like walked the carpet with

2198
01:38:20,320 --> 01:38:23,000
Speaker 1: Wells and I saw how disgusting my chin hair looked,

2199
01:38:23,320 --> 01:38:24,639
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know, I'm gonna shave off

2200
01:38:24,640 --> 01:38:28,680
Speaker 1: this little under part of my gotique, keep the mustache. Um.

2201
01:38:28,720 --> 01:38:30,960
Speaker 1: And then I got to Mexico and I still have

2202
01:38:31,040 --> 01:38:32,439
Speaker 1: the mustache for the more or less, and I was like,

2203
01:38:32,479 --> 01:38:34,080
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just gonna keep this mustache. Walked

2204
01:38:34,080 --> 01:38:38,559
Speaker 1: down unto the beach, um, and let's And it's also

2205
01:38:38,600 --> 01:38:45,280
Speaker 1: the confidence that we talked about earlier. Yeah, I suppose okay, yeah, no,

2206
01:38:45,439 --> 01:38:47,519
Speaker 1: you're right. I don't know. It's it's hard to It's

2207
01:38:47,520 --> 01:38:49,080
Speaker 1: easy to like paint the picture of what you expect

2208
01:38:49,080 --> 01:38:50,759
Speaker 1: to happen, but then when you get down there, it's like, obviously,

2209
01:38:50,760 --> 01:38:53,680
Speaker 1: never really gonna happen how you expected to. Um. I

2210
01:38:53,760 --> 01:38:55,000
Speaker 1: thought I was gonna be a gimmick, you know. I

2211
01:38:55,040 --> 01:38:56,800
Speaker 1: thought I was gonna walk down to the beach and

2212
01:38:56,840 --> 01:38:59,080
Speaker 1: be like, oh, here's Dean back for the fourth time,

2213
01:38:59,200 --> 01:39:01,280
Speaker 1: like he's getting hang out for a couple of days,

2214
01:39:01,320 --> 01:39:03,200
Speaker 1: maybe like kiss someone and then probably go home because

2215
01:39:03,200 --> 01:39:05,880
Speaker 1: he's not taking it seriously. Uh So I walked down

2216
01:39:07,479 --> 01:39:10,120
Speaker 1: and see a lot of people I don't know, but

2217
01:39:10,160 --> 01:39:12,920
Speaker 1: I see like obviously Christina Blake and Derek, who I

2218
01:39:12,920 --> 01:39:15,840
Speaker 1: am friends with for the most part, all of them. Um,

2219
01:39:15,960 --> 01:39:19,240
Speaker 1: and then I was like, oh, it's like it's weird

2220
01:39:19,280 --> 01:39:22,120
Speaker 1: being back here. I made a conscious decision to stay

2221
01:39:22,160 --> 01:39:24,080
Speaker 1: sober the whole time too, just because that's kind of

2222
01:39:24,120 --> 01:39:29,400
Speaker 1: been a downfall of mine through seasons past. And it

2223
01:39:29,560 --> 01:39:31,920
Speaker 1: was if you ever think about going on the show,

2224
01:39:32,439 --> 01:39:34,519
Speaker 1: do not drink alcohol, just like I have like a

2225
01:39:34,520 --> 01:39:36,360
Speaker 1: glass of wine maybe every once in a while, but

2226
01:39:36,400 --> 01:39:38,240
Speaker 1: like the first couple of seasons, I was getting like

2227
01:39:38,280 --> 01:39:41,680
Speaker 1: black out drunk almost every episode. They're almost every day,

2228
01:39:41,680 --> 01:39:43,240
Speaker 1: I mean, because I just like it. There was nothing

2229
01:39:43,320 --> 01:39:45,000
Speaker 1: really else to do, and I didn't really have much

2230
01:39:45,040 --> 01:39:48,479
Speaker 1: else to do other than that. This time, I didn't drink,

2231
01:39:48,479 --> 01:39:50,800
Speaker 1: and it was the best experience out of all of

2232
01:39:50,840 --> 01:39:54,280
Speaker 1: them by a landslide. Um. And obviously Caitlin and I

2233
01:39:54,280 --> 01:39:55,640
Speaker 1: go on that first date, and Caitlin and I have

2234
01:39:55,640 --> 01:39:57,200
Speaker 1: a bit of a history, right, like she d MS

2235
01:39:57,280 --> 01:40:00,759
Speaker 1: me before she even went on the Bachelor, uh, and

2236
01:40:00,800 --> 01:40:02,640
Speaker 1: so like I knew that there's interest there. I like

2237
01:40:02,760 --> 01:40:04,880
Speaker 1: randomly saw her do an interview before I even went

2238
01:40:04,960 --> 01:40:08,200
Speaker 1: down to Paradise of her saying like, oh, Dean so attractive,

2239
01:40:08,280 --> 01:40:09,760
Speaker 1: and I was like, Wow, this girl really like likes

2240
01:40:09,760 --> 01:40:13,760
Speaker 1: me weirdly, um, which in hindsight, like it's I don't know,

2241
01:40:13,800 --> 01:40:15,720
Speaker 1: I really appreciate the fact that she reached out to

2242
01:40:15,760 --> 01:40:19,120
Speaker 1: me before even going on the Bachelor, uh, because like

2243
01:40:19,200 --> 01:40:20,840
Speaker 1: I think that there's a lot of insecurity that's driven

2244
01:40:20,880 --> 01:40:22,639
Speaker 1: from the fact that, like sometimes you feel like people

2245
01:40:22,640 --> 01:40:26,640
Speaker 1: are just using you for whatever reason, and um, I

2246
01:40:26,640 --> 01:40:30,160
Speaker 1: don't know, anyways, we're going a date goes well, chemistry

2247
01:40:30,200 --> 01:40:31,920
Speaker 1: is there. I didn't expect to like this girl. I

2248
01:40:31,960 --> 01:40:33,120
Speaker 1: thought that we were going to go on a date

2249
01:40:33,120 --> 01:40:34,840
Speaker 1: and I be like, yeah, you know whatever, this girl sucks.

2250
01:40:35,000 --> 01:40:36,639
Speaker 1: It turns out like I actually do really like her,

2251
01:40:37,240 --> 01:40:40,599
Speaker 1: and time kind of starts to continue to go on,

2252
01:40:40,880 --> 01:40:42,280
Speaker 1: and I like I started liking her. But I was

2253
01:40:42,320 --> 01:40:44,519
Speaker 1: like so convinced in myself that I was not going

2254
01:40:44,560 --> 01:40:47,400
Speaker 1: to leave that beach in a relationship, and the producers

2255
01:40:47,400 --> 01:40:48,840
Speaker 1: all knew that too, and Caylin even new that too.

2256
01:40:48,840 --> 01:40:49,920
Speaker 1: I told her every single day. I was like, look,

2257
01:40:49,920 --> 01:40:51,120
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I'm gonna break up with you in

2258
01:40:51,160 --> 01:40:52,800
Speaker 1: the last day of the Passion in Paradise, like just

2259
01:40:53,040 --> 01:40:56,519
Speaker 1: understand that. And she I think she like said that

2260
01:40:56,560 --> 01:40:58,760
Speaker 1: she understood it, but I think she kind of thought

2261
01:40:58,760 --> 01:41:01,200
Speaker 1: that I was like just joking around. Obviously I wasn't

2262
01:41:01,800 --> 01:41:05,720
Speaker 1: um And eventually one night, the producers were like, look, man,

2263
01:41:05,760 --> 01:41:08,679
Speaker 1: like you're not taking this seriously. You know you're gonna leave. Uh.

2264
01:41:08,760 --> 01:41:11,200
Speaker 1: Kalin's expressed interest in this other guy who's probably gonna

2265
01:41:11,200 --> 01:41:13,040
Speaker 1: come down in the next couple of days, like it

2266
01:41:13,080 --> 01:41:14,439
Speaker 1: would probably be smart of you to get out of

2267
01:41:14,520 --> 01:41:16,200
Speaker 1: here now so you can explore that relationship. And I

2268
01:41:16,240 --> 01:41:17,320
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, that makes a lot of sense.

2269
01:41:17,320 --> 01:41:20,040
Speaker 1: And I agree with it because I was like again,

2270
01:41:20,120 --> 01:41:23,040
Speaker 1: still convinced that I wasn't gonna leave in a relationship.

2271
01:41:24,120 --> 01:41:28,519
Speaker 1: And so I leave. I fly back to San Diego,

2272
01:41:28,680 --> 01:41:32,600
Speaker 1: where my van was, and I drive out to Horseshoe

2273
01:41:32,640 --> 01:41:35,599
Speaker 1: Bend and think about things. And when I landed actually

2274
01:41:35,640 --> 01:41:37,880
Speaker 1: in San Diego, I like even. I texted my producer

2275
01:41:37,880 --> 01:41:39,519
Speaker 1: friend and I was like, listen, man, I'm like, really sad,

2276
01:41:39,520 --> 01:41:41,400
Speaker 1: I think I might have made the wrong choice. And

2277
01:41:41,439 --> 01:41:43,160
Speaker 1: he was like, just think about it, like blowing up

2278
01:41:43,160 --> 01:41:45,880
Speaker 1: for a little bit. Process it. Uh. He's something like

2279
01:41:45,920 --> 01:41:48,320
Speaker 1: a full on list of things like coping ideas of

2280
01:41:48,400 --> 01:41:51,840
Speaker 1: like go here, think about this, like do this eat

2281
01:41:51,880 --> 01:41:54,840
Speaker 1: this like things, just like to kind of like put

2282
01:41:54,880 --> 01:41:56,960
Speaker 1: my mind at ease a and be like allows a

2283
01:41:57,000 --> 01:42:01,280
Speaker 1: lots of introspection. Uh. And he's like and I was like, look, man,

2284
01:42:01,360 --> 01:42:02,759
Speaker 1: it comes sad. I think I made the wrong decision.

2285
01:42:02,800 --> 01:42:05,759
Speaker 1: He goes, well, hey, listen obviously for for ratings wise,

2286
01:42:05,760 --> 01:42:07,200
Speaker 1: we would love to have you come back on the show.

2287
01:42:07,560 --> 01:42:08,880
Speaker 1: It's up to you, obviously at the end of the

2288
01:42:08,920 --> 01:42:10,040
Speaker 1: day if you want to come back on or not

2289
01:42:10,439 --> 01:42:12,160
Speaker 1: take the night to sleep on it. Text me in

2290
01:42:12,160 --> 01:42:14,080
Speaker 1: the morning if you want to come back. We'll book

2291
01:42:14,080 --> 01:42:17,519
Speaker 1: you a plant at get and we'll foll you back down. Ah.

2292
01:42:17,680 --> 01:42:19,680
Speaker 1: So I drive out towards you Bend, stay there for

2293
01:42:19,720 --> 01:42:21,360
Speaker 1: a couple of hours, drive down to Phoenix, book a

2294
01:42:21,400 --> 01:42:24,439
Speaker 1: flight from Phoenix to Los Angeles, wake up the next day,

2295
01:42:24,640 --> 01:42:28,679
Speaker 1: and uh, I was like, you know what I miss

2296
01:42:28,800 --> 01:42:30,680
Speaker 1: hanging around this person that I spent the past eight

2297
01:42:30,720 --> 01:42:33,679
Speaker 1: days basically attached at the hip. I don't know if

2298
01:42:34,080 --> 01:42:37,439
Speaker 1: you remember Pachelor Paradise said in its entirety, but this

2299
01:42:37,479 --> 01:42:38,960
Speaker 1: girl was like a piece of vel grow to me.

2300
01:42:39,040 --> 01:42:43,280
Speaker 1: She was stuck on me. Uh, like Elmer Fudd's strongest

2301
01:42:43,360 --> 01:42:46,760
Speaker 1: gripping glue. Yeah. She wouldn't leave you, You wouldn't leave

2302
01:42:46,800 --> 01:42:50,240
Speaker 1: me alone obsessed. They say, yes, they absolutely do say that,

2303
01:42:50,280 --> 01:42:53,479
Speaker 1: and it's accurate. It's accurate. Um. It was hard to

2304
01:42:53,520 --> 01:42:55,720
Speaker 1: go from that eight days, twenty four hours a day

2305
01:42:55,760 --> 01:42:58,040
Speaker 1: to being around this person who I like, actually genuinely

2306
01:42:58,320 --> 01:43:01,160
Speaker 1: enjoyed hanging Like. It wasn't this weird like me convincing

2307
01:43:01,160 --> 01:43:02,960
Speaker 1: myself that I enjoyed spending time with this person. It

2308
01:43:03,000 --> 01:43:04,920
Speaker 1: was like I actually genuinely like enjoyed it. And there

2309
01:43:05,000 --> 01:43:07,439
Speaker 1: wasn't really like many lapses in conversation, and when there was,

2310
01:43:07,479 --> 01:43:10,840
Speaker 1: it felt natural, it felt normal, you know. Um. And

2311
01:43:10,880 --> 01:43:13,960
Speaker 1: then I left and I I got to thinking. I

2312
01:43:14,000 --> 01:43:16,840
Speaker 1: was like, well, I could wait until Bachelor Paradise has

2313
01:43:16,840 --> 01:43:20,760
Speaker 1: done filming and like just text her and like ask

2314
01:43:20,840 --> 01:43:22,400
Speaker 1: her if she has the time to talk to me,

2315
01:43:22,439 --> 01:43:24,400
Speaker 1: and like see if we can figure this out off camera.

2316
01:43:24,640 --> 01:43:27,200
Speaker 1: Like there's less risk that way because I'm not putting

2317
01:43:27,200 --> 01:43:30,880
Speaker 1: myself out there so publicly again. But also I knew

2318
01:43:30,920 --> 01:43:32,479
Speaker 1: that she was really liked Connor and she was really

2319
01:43:32,520 --> 01:43:34,880
Speaker 1: interested in meeting him, So I was like, well, like

2320
01:43:34,960 --> 01:43:36,200
Speaker 1: the more I dwelt on it and actually called the

2321
01:43:36,200 --> 01:43:38,000
Speaker 1: cup of my Friends, I was like what should I do.

2322
01:43:38,240 --> 01:43:39,800
Speaker 1: None of them were supportive of me going back, by

2323
01:43:39,800 --> 01:43:43,800
Speaker 1: the way, but I knew that like if I had

2324
01:43:43,840 --> 01:43:45,400
Speaker 1: if I didn't go back, she would have left the

2325
01:43:45,400 --> 01:43:48,040
Speaker 1: beach more more likely than not in a relationship with Connor,

2326
01:43:48,760 --> 01:43:51,680
Speaker 1: and then I would be infringing upon that relationship at

2327
01:43:51,680 --> 01:43:54,000
Speaker 1: the time, and it would eventually become public when they

2328
01:43:54,040 --> 01:43:56,400
Speaker 1: left the beach together when the show aired. So I

2329
01:43:56,479 --> 01:43:59,040
Speaker 1: was like, this girl is great. She's gonna get swooped

2330
01:43:59,120 --> 01:44:01,800
Speaker 1: up sooner rather and later. If I don't go back now,

2331
01:44:01,800 --> 01:44:04,320
Speaker 1: I'm probably never gonna have a chance to see if

2332
01:44:04,320 --> 01:44:07,200
Speaker 1: this would like actually work out. Um, So I fly back,

2333
01:44:07,520 --> 01:44:09,719
Speaker 1: walked down to the beach, and yeah, I obviously things

2334
01:44:09,800 --> 01:44:13,519
Speaker 1: went well for me. But that whole decision process, it

2335
01:44:13,520 --> 01:44:16,240
Speaker 1: wasn't easy. Man. Like I talked to uh like Alex

2336
01:44:16,280 --> 01:44:17,720
Speaker 1: and Mike, some of my best friends, and then I

2337
01:44:17,760 --> 01:44:19,639
Speaker 1: came into the studio recorded a podcast like to Jared,

2338
01:44:19,680 --> 01:44:21,160
Speaker 1: and Jared was actually one of the few that was

2339
01:44:21,160 --> 01:44:25,800
Speaker 1: like super supportive of the idea and I'm glad I

2340
01:44:25,840 --> 01:44:29,639
Speaker 1: did it. It was yeah, I don't know, it wasn't easy,

2341
01:44:29,640 --> 01:44:31,679
Speaker 1: even like walking back down onto that beach that second time,

2342
01:44:32,000 --> 01:44:33,519
Speaker 1: I was like, I almost like turned around a couple

2343
01:44:33,560 --> 01:44:35,720
Speaker 1: of times. I almost like told the producers. I was like, look,

2344
01:44:35,760 --> 01:44:37,000
Speaker 1: you know what, actually, on second thought, this is a

2345
01:44:37,000 --> 01:44:41,040
Speaker 1: bad idea, Like let's let's not do this. Um but yeah,

2346
01:44:41,120 --> 01:44:43,800
Speaker 1: and and you know, kind of to bring everything full circle,

2347
01:44:43,840 --> 01:44:45,840
Speaker 1: like I'm sick of I'm sick of like running away

2348
01:44:45,840 --> 01:44:47,160
Speaker 1: from all the problems in my life, like all the

2349
01:44:47,160 --> 01:44:48,600
Speaker 1: bad things that happened to me. All I do is

2350
01:44:48,600 --> 01:44:51,080
Speaker 1: like basically either run away from them, uh physically or

2351
01:44:51,320 --> 01:44:54,519
Speaker 1: or figuratively in so many ways, and even like living

2352
01:44:54,520 --> 01:44:55,840
Speaker 1: in a van you could look at is like me

2353
01:44:56,080 --> 01:44:58,960
Speaker 1: literally physically running away from everything that's like important to

2354
01:44:59,000 --> 01:45:01,439
Speaker 1: me or has value in my life. Um So coming

2355
01:45:01,439 --> 01:45:02,680
Speaker 1: back down to the beach was kind of like a

2356
01:45:03,240 --> 01:45:06,400
Speaker 1: symbolic version of me saying like, look, I'm gonna stop

2357
01:45:06,479 --> 01:45:09,960
Speaker 1: running away from these things. I'm gonna stop like running

2358
01:45:09,960 --> 01:45:11,519
Speaker 1: away from the good things in my life and figure

2359
01:45:11,520 --> 01:45:14,320
Speaker 1: out exactly what I want to do and where I'm

2360
01:45:14,320 --> 01:45:16,120
Speaker 1: gonna go. And I want you to be part of

2361
01:45:16,120 --> 01:45:20,519
Speaker 1: that with me. And I'm grateful I did. I don't

2362
01:45:20,520 --> 01:45:23,080
Speaker 1: think that she's upset that she did either. But it

2363
01:45:23,120 --> 01:45:27,519
Speaker 1: wasn't easy. What was it about Klin, There's there's something

2364
01:45:27,560 --> 01:45:30,200
Speaker 1: I've caught on here and I want to tell you,

2365
01:45:30,320 --> 01:45:32,120
Speaker 1: tell me. I want you to tell me if I'm wrong.

2366
01:45:32,800 --> 01:45:35,920
Speaker 1: Every other person you've dated in the Bachelor franchise, you've

2367
01:45:35,960 --> 01:45:38,200
Speaker 1: explained the very first thing is a bit a physical compliment.

2368
01:45:39,120 --> 01:45:42,560
Speaker 1: Klin is obviously gorgeous. It's not a secret to anybody.

2369
01:45:42,800 --> 01:45:45,599
Speaker 1: But with Klin, your very first comment to her about

2370
01:45:45,640 --> 01:45:49,320
Speaker 1: her is about who she is as a person. Do

2371
01:45:49,360 --> 01:45:53,800
Speaker 1: you feel that change in yourself? Um, what I've experienced

2372
01:45:53,840 --> 01:45:56,439
Speaker 1: in relationships is obviously I think the first thing that

2373
01:45:56,479 --> 01:45:58,360
Speaker 1: brings us to like want to talk to someone is

2374
01:45:58,360 --> 01:46:00,160
Speaker 1: a physical attraction, right, Like you see someone at the are,

2375
01:46:00,360 --> 01:46:03,400
Speaker 1: Like even you with Jess Jes caught your eye on Instagram, right,

2376
01:46:03,400 --> 01:46:04,320
Speaker 1: so you just got to go out of your way

2377
01:46:04,320 --> 01:46:05,680
Speaker 1: to try to try and find it, get to know

2378
01:46:05,720 --> 01:46:08,280
Speaker 1: her deeper. I don't think that's a bad thing to

2379
01:46:08,400 --> 01:46:11,280
Speaker 1: be physically tracked to this someone off the bat. Um.

2380
01:46:11,320 --> 01:46:13,960
Speaker 1: I think my kind of like Achilles heal and relationships

2381
01:46:14,040 --> 01:46:18,360
Speaker 1: is I kind of let that override my other, um,

2382
01:46:18,400 --> 01:46:21,280
Speaker 1: I guess way of thinking, and what I've like slowly

2383
01:46:21,320 --> 01:46:24,559
Speaker 1: began to realize it's like I'm I'm this is gonna

2384
01:46:24,560 --> 01:46:27,280
Speaker 1: sound kind of silly and maybe a little melodramatic. I'm like,

2385
01:46:28,000 --> 01:46:32,599
Speaker 1: I'm like probably on the spectrum of a sexuality. Really,

2386
01:46:32,720 --> 01:46:35,559
Speaker 1: I like, don't I'm not like motivated by sex, but

2387
01:46:35,640 --> 01:46:37,559
Speaker 1: like the novelty of like meeting someone new and like

2388
01:46:37,600 --> 01:46:39,240
Speaker 1: seeing if you can like kiss them or hook up

2389
01:46:39,280 --> 01:46:42,280
Speaker 1: with them, Like that's exciting to me. Um. But like

2390
01:46:42,360 --> 01:46:44,880
Speaker 1: if I date someone that's just just solely beautiful, and

2391
01:46:44,960 --> 01:46:47,480
Speaker 1: like the main reason I'm dating dating them is beauty

2392
01:46:47,840 --> 01:46:51,120
Speaker 1: that fades incredibly quickly. And I've experienced with Kalen is yes,

2393
01:46:51,160 --> 01:46:55,080
Speaker 1: she's an incredibly beautiful person, but it's a lot more

2394
01:46:55,160 --> 01:46:56,880
Speaker 1: than that, and like I can actually enjoy it. Like

2395
01:46:56,960 --> 01:46:59,080
Speaker 1: I spent a lot of freaking time with this girl, right,

2396
01:47:00,320 --> 01:47:02,080
Speaker 1: And there are times where I'm like I need to

2397
01:47:02,080 --> 01:47:04,160
Speaker 1: get out of here, But it takes a lot longer

2398
01:47:04,200 --> 01:47:05,760
Speaker 1: for me to get to that point than it has

2399
01:47:05,800 --> 01:47:08,160
Speaker 1: for anyone in the past, where like I'm running from

2400
01:47:08,240 --> 01:47:11,320
Speaker 1: these relationships, Like this is pret Kalin, I'm running from

2401
01:47:11,320 --> 01:47:13,479
Speaker 1: these relationships, but I feel like I'm running from them

2402
01:47:13,479 --> 01:47:15,200
Speaker 1: because I got into them for the wrong reason, you know,

2403
01:47:15,280 --> 01:47:20,360
Speaker 1: like for some superficial, shallow reason. Um And what's nice

2404
01:47:20,400 --> 01:47:22,560
Speaker 1: about obviously my relationship with Kalin is it goes a

2405
01:47:22,600 --> 01:47:24,880
Speaker 1: little bit deeper than that, and there's like a little

2406
01:47:24,880 --> 01:47:28,040
Speaker 1: bit more of I guess, like banter back and forth

2407
01:47:28,040 --> 01:47:29,800
Speaker 1: that we're able to have. And so, yes, she is

2408
01:47:29,840 --> 01:47:32,080
Speaker 1: a beautiful woman and I'm very lucky to be able

2409
01:47:32,120 --> 01:47:33,640
Speaker 1: to call her my girlfriend. But it goes on, it

2410
01:47:33,640 --> 01:47:36,840
Speaker 1: goes a lot deeper than just that physical beauty, which

2411
01:47:37,000 --> 01:47:39,840
Speaker 1: I typically would place ahead or in the past had

2412
01:47:39,880 --> 01:47:42,960
Speaker 1: placed ahead of, like a deeper connection I suppose. Yeah.

2413
01:47:42,960 --> 01:47:45,360
Speaker 1: Then the thing with Klin is for at least the

2414
01:47:45,400 --> 01:47:48,559
Speaker 1: time being no pressure on you, guys, um is that

2415
01:47:48,600 --> 01:47:50,040
Speaker 1: when you do start to feel that like I need

2416
01:47:50,080 --> 01:47:51,559
Speaker 1: to get out of here, which I get I feel

2417
01:47:51,600 --> 01:47:54,879
Speaker 1: that too, right, I love my girlfriend, But it happens.

2418
01:47:55,880 --> 01:47:58,160
Speaker 1: The interesting part is once you do leave and you

2419
01:47:58,200 --> 01:48:01,120
Speaker 1: can collect your thoughts there, when I know it's right,

2420
01:48:01,200 --> 01:48:04,439
Speaker 1: is there's an excitement tasso go back. Yeah it sucks. Yeah.

2421
01:48:04,720 --> 01:48:06,800
Speaker 1: We just spent like nine days together in a row,

2422
01:48:06,840 --> 01:48:10,880
Speaker 1: like literally every waking moment together and every unwaking moment,

2423
01:48:10,920 --> 01:48:13,000
Speaker 1: like we started obviously in the same bed and everything,

2424
01:48:13,640 --> 01:48:17,080
Speaker 1: and uh, I was like it was yesterday. I was like, dude,

2425
01:48:17,080 --> 01:48:18,400
Speaker 1: I just gotta get the hell away from you for

2426
01:48:18,400 --> 01:48:19,439
Speaker 1: a little bit, you know what I mean. So I

2427
01:48:19,520 --> 01:48:21,400
Speaker 1: drove out to Paris. I wanted to skydive all day,

2428
01:48:21,439 --> 01:48:23,720
Speaker 1: but the winds weren't didn't allow me to skydive, so

2429
01:48:23,720 --> 01:48:25,439
Speaker 1: I basically it's like kind of hung around, like worked

2430
01:48:25,439 --> 01:48:27,639
Speaker 1: on things like watching Netflix a little bit, watch football.

2431
01:48:28,040 --> 01:48:30,360
Speaker 1: Then I was like like sorry language again, but like

2432
01:48:30,400 --> 01:48:32,479
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, I just want to

2433
01:48:32,600 --> 01:48:33,840
Speaker 1: kind of want to get back and hang out with her,

2434
01:48:33,840 --> 01:48:35,719
Speaker 1: you know what. Which is like it's it's a really

2435
01:48:36,040 --> 01:48:38,160
Speaker 1: thing to feel, and it's a really weird feeling because

2436
01:48:38,160 --> 01:48:40,120
Speaker 1: I haven't felt it many times in my life. Yeah,

2437
01:48:40,240 --> 01:48:43,000
Speaker 1: it's like it's like, dang it, like I I think

2438
01:48:43,040 --> 01:48:48,200
Speaker 1: I've found something. Gosh, I've I've been really good at

2439
01:48:48,280 --> 01:48:51,200
Speaker 1: running away and feeling like, oh yeah, I can't do

2440
01:48:51,280 --> 01:48:53,800
Speaker 1: this is getting annoying, and then all of a sudden,

2441
01:48:53,800 --> 01:48:56,360
Speaker 1: you found something that you're like, I kinda like it. Yeah,

2442
01:48:57,040 --> 01:48:58,400
Speaker 1: And that was a big thing too, where it's like

2443
01:48:58,680 --> 01:49:00,760
Speaker 1: a lot of the reason I wanted to live in

2444
01:49:00,760 --> 01:49:04,160
Speaker 1: a van was because I wanted to experience ah, not

2445
01:49:04,200 --> 01:49:08,160
Speaker 1: like individuality, but like seclude just like complete freedom and

2446
01:49:08,200 --> 01:49:10,639
Speaker 1: every facet of the word. Right, that's what the appeal

2447
01:49:10,640 --> 01:49:14,439
Speaker 1: of living in a van expressed. I thought of it, asked, well,

2448
01:49:14,439 --> 01:49:16,360
Speaker 1: that was a weird way to say that sentence. Um.

2449
01:49:16,479 --> 01:49:18,439
Speaker 1: And then so like the idea of a girlfriend kind

2450
01:49:18,479 --> 01:49:21,439
Speaker 1: of is counterintuitive to that same idea. And so that's

2451
01:49:21,439 --> 01:49:23,120
Speaker 1: why I left the beach in the first place, where

2452
01:49:23,160 --> 01:49:25,479
Speaker 1: I was like, look, I have this very clear picture

2453
01:49:25,479 --> 01:49:26,439
Speaker 1: of what I want to be doing for the next

2454
01:49:26,439 --> 01:49:27,920
Speaker 1: whole months in my life, and that's completely not her

2455
01:49:27,920 --> 01:49:29,160
Speaker 1: free You don't want to be able to drive where

2456
01:49:29,160 --> 01:49:30,800
Speaker 1: I want to drive to. I want to be able

2457
01:49:30,840 --> 01:49:32,640
Speaker 1: to skydive where I want a skydive, ski where I

2458
01:49:32,640 --> 01:49:35,800
Speaker 1: want to ski, scoobaar where I want a scooba, etcetera, etcetera. Um,

2459
01:49:35,880 --> 01:49:37,960
Speaker 1: And the idea of having a girlfriend is only going

2460
01:49:38,040 --> 01:49:42,160
Speaker 1: to hinder that idea. And then so coming back, I

2461
01:49:42,200 --> 01:49:44,080
Speaker 1: think like a lot of my reservations about coming back,

2462
01:49:44,120 --> 01:49:45,479
Speaker 1: we're like, okay, well, like I'm still not gonna be

2463
01:49:45,520 --> 01:49:47,040
Speaker 1: able to do those things. But what's great about Kalin

2464
01:49:47,080 --> 01:49:50,240
Speaker 1: is she's very like supportive and encouraging of that, and

2465
01:49:50,280 --> 01:49:52,040
Speaker 1: sometimes she's like, yeah, like I'm gonna come along with

2466
01:49:52,080 --> 01:49:54,160
Speaker 1: you on this trip. Wherever you want to go. But

2467
01:49:54,160 --> 01:49:56,400
Speaker 1: then she also like, tomorrow I leave for Pero Chico

2468
01:49:56,520 --> 01:49:59,280
Speaker 1: for two weeks, and she's like, okay with me going

2469
01:49:59,320 --> 01:50:01,559
Speaker 1: away for two week. Whether she has the option to

2470
01:50:01,800 --> 01:50:03,240
Speaker 1: not be okay with it or not, maybe he's a

2471
01:50:03,280 --> 01:50:05,479
Speaker 1: little bit for a debate, but the fact is she

2472
01:50:05,600 --> 01:50:11,000
Speaker 1: like she's not making me hinder my explorative side of myself.

2473
01:50:12,160 --> 01:50:14,479
Speaker 1: Like I feel like some relationships kind of like kind

2474
01:50:14,479 --> 01:50:17,320
Speaker 1: of really back in a little bit, and she's just

2475
01:50:17,360 --> 01:50:19,000
Speaker 1: as keen to get out there and do the things

2476
01:50:19,000 --> 01:50:20,880
Speaker 1: that I want to do for the most part um

2477
01:50:20,880 --> 01:50:22,920
Speaker 1: in terms of at least like going places. She's obviously

2478
01:50:23,000 --> 01:50:25,479
Speaker 1: on board with a lot of that stuff. But uh, yeah,

2479
01:50:25,479 --> 01:50:29,479
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a little different than past relationships. It's funny. Actually,

2480
01:50:29,479 --> 01:50:31,680
Speaker 1: we were just talking the other day, uh and I

2481
01:50:31,680 --> 01:50:33,800
Speaker 1: can't remember exactly the context that I came up in,

2482
01:50:34,520 --> 01:50:38,519
Speaker 1: but we're talking about me. I shaved my legs for Halloween,

2483
01:50:38,960 --> 01:50:41,800
Speaker 1: just as a as a beautiful girl for Halloween, most

2484
01:50:41,840 --> 01:50:43,760
Speaker 1: beautiful girl I've ever seen, second most beautiful girl I

2485
01:50:43,760 --> 01:50:46,920
Speaker 1: ever seen. And we're talking about shaving my leg hair

2486
01:50:47,280 --> 01:50:49,080
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, like this leg hair has

2487
01:50:49,080 --> 01:50:51,600
Speaker 1: been with me my entire life. It's been with me

2488
01:50:51,640 --> 01:50:53,800
Speaker 1: through good girlfriends and through bad girlfriends. And I was like, well,

2489
01:50:53,840 --> 01:50:55,439
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna shave it off and start over new

2490
01:50:55,479 --> 01:50:58,240
Speaker 1: because I actually like my girlfriend for once. Not for once,

2491
01:50:58,240 --> 01:50:59,920
Speaker 1: but like, you know what I mean, Like it's basically

2492
01:51:00,240 --> 01:51:02,439
Speaker 1: like a fresh start of sorts in a weird leg

2493
01:51:02,520 --> 01:51:05,800
Speaker 1: hair eccentric way up to the belly button. Um. I

2494
01:51:05,800 --> 01:51:07,679
Speaker 1: actually I went about four inches down in my thigh.

2495
01:51:07,680 --> 01:51:08,840
Speaker 1: I don't know why I didn't go all the way up,

2496
01:51:08,840 --> 01:51:09,960
Speaker 1: but I just didn't feel right to go all the

2497
01:51:09,960 --> 01:51:12,479
Speaker 1: way up. But yeah, it was like this weird Uh.

2498
01:51:12,600 --> 01:51:16,800
Speaker 1: I had never really audibly said like like I like

2499
01:51:16,920 --> 01:51:18,760
Speaker 1: my girlfriend more than I've liked a girlfriend in a

2500
01:51:18,760 --> 01:51:20,960
Speaker 1: long time, you know what I mean? It was just

2501
01:51:20,960 --> 01:51:22,160
Speaker 1: like a weird I don't know, like I didn't really

2502
01:51:22,200 --> 01:51:23,880
Speaker 1: I don't think she registered it. I don't think I

2503
01:51:23,920 --> 01:51:26,000
Speaker 1: really registered it. But for me to like say that

2504
01:51:26,120 --> 01:51:28,080
Speaker 1: was just like a weird thing, you know what I mean?

2505
01:51:29,600 --> 01:51:31,760
Speaker 1: What you mean, Yeah, to like say it and mean

2506
01:51:31,800 --> 01:51:34,559
Speaker 1: it and feel The other day somebody asked me with

2507
01:51:34,720 --> 01:51:38,760
Speaker 1: Jessica my dad did Actually he's like, so what do

2508
01:51:38,840 --> 01:51:41,160
Speaker 1: you what's going on there? Like? Where is this gonna go,

2509
01:51:41,760 --> 01:51:43,880
Speaker 1: I said, Dad. The craziest part about it is like

2510
01:51:44,000 --> 01:51:47,559
Speaker 1: I have so much peace around this relationship, Like it's

2511
01:51:47,560 --> 01:51:50,960
Speaker 1: exciting for me to say things like I like my girlfriend,

2512
01:51:51,640 --> 01:51:53,880
Speaker 1: which hasn't happened many times in my life. It's not

2513
01:51:53,960 --> 01:51:56,200
Speaker 1: the only time it's happened, it's not many. But the

2514
01:51:56,200 --> 01:51:58,400
Speaker 1: thing with Jessica is like there is this like enormous

2515
01:51:58,400 --> 01:52:00,400
Speaker 1: amount of piece that follows it that hasn't never been

2516
01:52:00,400 --> 01:52:03,240
Speaker 1: the case. I thought it is too. And obviously, like

2517
01:52:03,960 --> 01:52:07,880
Speaker 1: we have our differences, Calin and I, Um, she's a

2518
01:52:07,880 --> 01:52:11,000
Speaker 1: little more traditional and a little bit less traditional of course,

2519
01:52:11,680 --> 01:52:15,120
Speaker 1: but uh yeah, it's just it's a it's a it's

2520
01:52:15,120 --> 01:52:20,040
Speaker 1: a nice feeling, Dean. You're in a relationship. Life has

2521
01:52:20,120 --> 01:52:22,520
Speaker 1: changed for you since we were last introduced, first introduced

2522
01:52:24,080 --> 01:52:27,040
Speaker 1: to you on The bachelorat have a few emails from

2523
01:52:27,040 --> 01:52:29,120
Speaker 1: some of your biggest fans. They're not gonna be easy

2524
01:52:29,120 --> 01:52:31,320
Speaker 1: to answer. And then I leave with this. In every

2525
01:52:31,320 --> 01:52:33,960
Speaker 1: in depth episode we do this, we say, hey, Dean,

2526
01:52:34,040 --> 01:52:36,360
Speaker 1: give us a message to send our listeners out on

2527
01:52:36,400 --> 01:52:39,320
Speaker 1: because we've got to know you through this podcast. And

2528
01:52:39,320 --> 01:52:41,080
Speaker 1: I think everybody's sitting around would say, yeah, we've got

2529
01:52:41,120 --> 01:52:44,240
Speaker 1: to know Dean a little bit better today, Greed. All

2530
01:52:44,280 --> 01:52:46,800
Speaker 1: the heads are shaking. Yeah, well, you guys know that

2531
01:52:46,880 --> 01:52:49,320
Speaker 1: up about my testicles now, So I guess a little

2532
01:52:49,320 --> 01:52:53,479
Speaker 1: bit at least Dean. Uh. This emails from Susan Soon says,

2533
01:52:53,520 --> 01:52:55,559
Speaker 1: I was wondering how Dean feels about the way Rachel

2534
01:52:55,600 --> 01:52:59,280
Speaker 1: has been talking about Klin without even meeting her the

2535
01:52:59,360 --> 01:53:02,840
Speaker 1: Calan listen to his interview on The Rachel's podcast. What

2536
01:53:02,880 --> 01:53:05,200
Speaker 1: were her thoughts? When does he think the two will

2537
01:53:05,200 --> 01:53:09,479
Speaker 1: ever meet? Caitlin and Rachel have Matt post I think

2538
01:53:09,520 --> 01:53:11,720
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know, I don't I don't

2539
01:53:11,760 --> 01:53:13,080
Speaker 1: really want to have much of an opinion on this.

2540
01:53:13,200 --> 01:53:16,920
Speaker 1: I don't think I don't need to. Okay, cool, if

2541
01:53:16,960 --> 01:53:18,760
Speaker 1: you don't want to, you don't need to. I think

2542
01:53:18,760 --> 01:53:20,360
Speaker 1: my girlfriend's great, and I think that's really all that

2543
01:53:20,400 --> 01:53:23,240
Speaker 1: matters as it pertains to the relationship, and I think

2544
01:53:23,320 --> 01:53:27,000
Speaker 1: Rachel should focus on her relationship. Next emails from Vanessa

2545
01:53:27,160 --> 01:53:30,760
Speaker 1: not the Vanessa we know. Back during Courtland's season, there

2546
01:53:30,800 --> 01:53:33,080
Speaker 1: was dramas f ending Klin's slighting into Dean's d m

2547
01:53:33,200 --> 01:53:36,160
Speaker 1: s and not being there for the right reasons. Is

2548
01:53:36,160 --> 01:53:39,040
Speaker 1: it ironic? That the next chance she gets to date him,

2549
01:53:39,080 --> 01:53:41,360
Speaker 1: they walk off on the show together. Was this a

2550
01:53:41,439 --> 01:53:44,240
Speaker 1: red flag for Dean? Knowing that she was cast for

2551
01:53:44,280 --> 01:53:47,760
Speaker 1: Colton season while interested in you. Also, the timeline of

2552
01:53:47,840 --> 01:53:50,559
Speaker 1: Kalin's being in a relationship with Blake doesn't add up

2553
01:53:50,600 --> 01:53:53,080
Speaker 1: because she was in talks to be the potential bach

2554
01:53:53,120 --> 01:53:54,840
Speaker 1: of that. So if that were true, there's no reason

2555
01:53:54,920 --> 01:53:57,880
Speaker 1: why she would be committed in a committed relationship with

2556
01:53:57,920 --> 01:54:00,519
Speaker 1: Blake like she told people in Paradise. Was a red

2557
01:54:00,520 --> 01:54:03,840
Speaker 1: flag for you, Dean? Um No, I don't think that

2558
01:54:03,920 --> 01:54:09,760
Speaker 1: really made much sense. Uh, Klin was cast for Colton season. Yes,

2559
01:54:10,160 --> 01:54:12,360
Speaker 1: I think that you're allowed to have a crush on

2560
01:54:12,400 --> 01:54:15,040
Speaker 1: someone and then also you're allowed to go and date

2561
01:54:15,080 --> 01:54:17,439
Speaker 1: someone else too. I don't think there's much issue with that.

2562
01:54:17,640 --> 01:54:19,519
Speaker 1: I will say I'm gonna speak on Kalin's behalf. She

2563
01:54:19,520 --> 01:54:21,479
Speaker 1: wanted Jason Tardick to be the Bachelor, and she's she

2564
01:54:21,479 --> 01:54:23,240
Speaker 1: went on Colton season. I don't think that's an issue either.

2565
01:54:23,320 --> 01:54:25,200
Speaker 1: It's not like I need someone to be like, I've

2566
01:54:25,200 --> 01:54:26,800
Speaker 1: only had eyes for you since the day that I

2567
01:54:26,840 --> 01:54:29,000
Speaker 1: was born. Like, she's a free woman to do what

2568
01:54:29,040 --> 01:54:32,120
Speaker 1: she wants. It's like, um, the blake stuff. Man, that

2569
01:54:32,120 --> 01:54:34,280
Speaker 1: stuff has been beaten like a dead horse, like a

2570
01:54:34,360 --> 01:54:36,760
Speaker 1: dead horse? Is it like a dead horse's been beaten

2571
01:54:36,760 --> 01:54:39,320
Speaker 1: to death? Um? And I don't think we really need

2572
01:54:39,360 --> 01:54:41,960
Speaker 1: to talk about that anymore. I would agree, So here's

2573
01:54:41,960 --> 01:54:45,320
Speaker 1: a truth to it. In summary, Dean and Kalin are together.

2574
01:54:46,920 --> 01:54:48,560
Speaker 1: Things are going well. You were the hard emails you

2575
01:54:48,600 --> 01:54:49,680
Speaker 1: were telling about. I feel like there has to be

2576
01:54:49,720 --> 01:54:53,320
Speaker 1: something harder than that. No, that's pretty hard, especially hard

2577
01:54:53,360 --> 01:54:59,440
Speaker 1: because Kalin's in the room. I know, I know you're right. Um, okay, Dean,

2578
01:55:00,840 --> 01:55:03,760
Speaker 1: this is the end of the in depth episode one

2579
01:55:03,800 --> 01:55:05,360
Speaker 1: that we were very thankful that you came on. Thank

2580
01:55:05,400 --> 01:55:08,080
Speaker 1: you first off for coming on here and sharing, um

2581
01:55:08,080 --> 01:55:10,520
Speaker 1: who you are with us, allowing us to to fill

2582
01:55:10,560 --> 01:55:12,240
Speaker 1: in the gaps of where we might have missed it

2583
01:55:12,320 --> 01:55:15,920
Speaker 1: during your time on The Bachelor, I think hopefully, And

2584
01:55:16,000 --> 01:55:18,440
Speaker 1: tell me if I'm wrong. These podcasts help give a

2585
01:55:18,480 --> 01:55:22,200
Speaker 1: clearer picture of who Dean is. Um. Yeah, what's funnybout

2586
01:55:22,200 --> 01:55:24,680
Speaker 1: a podcast to me? Is I always I don't always

2587
01:55:24,680 --> 01:55:26,320
Speaker 1: listen to them back, but sometimes I listen back to

2588
01:55:26,320 --> 01:55:28,840
Speaker 1: a podcast that either I was on or a friend

2589
01:55:28,880 --> 01:55:31,920
Speaker 1: of mine was on. And I'll always like look back

2590
01:55:31,960 --> 01:55:33,600
Speaker 1: and be like, well, I wish we would have dived

2591
01:55:33,600 --> 01:55:35,640
Speaker 1: into this a little bit deeper or went down this

2592
01:55:35,680 --> 01:55:38,160
Speaker 1: alley a little bit longer kind of thing. Um. And

2593
01:55:38,200 --> 01:55:41,520
Speaker 1: I'm sure like if I listened to this podcast back,

2594
01:55:41,560 --> 01:55:44,080
Speaker 1: I might obviously not because it's kind of embarrassing for

2595
01:55:44,120 --> 01:55:46,560
Speaker 1: me in a lot of ways. I hope that I

2596
01:55:46,560 --> 01:55:50,080
Speaker 1: don't feel that way. I don't expect to. UM. Whenever

2597
01:55:50,120 --> 01:55:53,040
Speaker 1: you like think about your story to yourself and for

2598
01:55:53,040 --> 01:55:55,480
Speaker 1: whatever reason you're doing it, you always like kind of

2599
01:55:55,520 --> 01:55:57,520
Speaker 1: plan the things that you want to talk about and

2600
01:55:57,560 --> 01:56:00,080
Speaker 1: like what you want to touch on. And I I

2601
01:56:00,080 --> 01:56:02,440
Speaker 1: feel like obviously conversation flows ebbs and flows and doesn't

2602
01:56:02,440 --> 01:56:04,040
Speaker 1: necessarily allow at all times. But I think that this

2603
01:56:04,080 --> 01:56:05,240
Speaker 1: was really good and I think that you did a

2604
01:56:05,240 --> 01:56:09,200
Speaker 1: great job of navigating the conversation. You got the ball

2605
01:56:09,240 --> 01:56:11,440
Speaker 1: story out of me for the first time in public

2606
01:56:11,600 --> 01:56:14,600
Speaker 1: that's ever happened. That's that's a big one. And I

2607
01:56:14,640 --> 01:56:16,760
Speaker 1: thought about every every platform that I would have had

2608
01:56:16,800 --> 01:56:19,400
Speaker 1: to share that story. I never never expected it to

2609
01:56:19,440 --> 01:56:21,040
Speaker 1: be this, but you did a fantastic job. You made

2610
01:56:21,080 --> 01:56:23,640
Speaker 1: me feel comfortable, You made me feel like I was

2611
01:56:23,680 --> 01:56:27,320
Speaker 1: at home, So I appreciate that, But is there anything

2612
01:56:27,440 --> 01:56:29,320
Speaker 1: right now that you do look back on during this

2613
01:56:29,400 --> 01:56:33,520
Speaker 1: and you're like, I wish you would have gone deeper. Um,

2614
01:56:33,560 --> 01:56:36,960
Speaker 1: I'm grateful that we didn't go deeper on Bachelor Winter Games.

2615
01:56:38,520 --> 01:56:43,120
Speaker 1: I'm grateful that The thing about all these stories, right

2616
01:56:43,200 --> 01:56:46,400
Speaker 1: is that there whatever I say, whatever story I share,

2617
01:56:47,000 --> 01:56:49,240
Speaker 1: it's never going to be the full truth, whether I

2618
01:56:49,280 --> 01:56:50,960
Speaker 1: think it is or not, it's never gonna be a

2619
01:56:51,000 --> 01:56:54,240
Speaker 1: h percent accurate. And so it just doesn't necessarily make

2620
01:56:54,280 --> 01:56:55,880
Speaker 1: sense to kind of go into a lot of like

2621
01:56:55,920 --> 01:56:57,760
Speaker 1: the he said, she said type of stuff because it's

2622
01:56:57,760 --> 01:57:00,520
Speaker 1: never gonna be right. And so I appreciate that we

2623
01:57:00,520 --> 01:57:03,640
Speaker 1: didn't dwell on that stuff very long because my experience

2624
01:57:03,680 --> 01:57:07,520
Speaker 1: with Bachelor in Paradise is my experience and everyone else's

2625
01:57:07,560 --> 01:57:09,560
Speaker 1: is everyone else's. So it's just like it's kind of

2626
01:57:09,560 --> 01:57:12,200
Speaker 1: a challenging thing to navigate when you want to open

2627
01:57:12,240 --> 01:57:13,360
Speaker 1: up about it, And like, I don't want to put

2628
01:57:13,360 --> 01:57:16,560
Speaker 1: anyone in blast ever either, so like, while you're trying

2629
01:57:16,600 --> 01:57:19,480
Speaker 1: to be respectful of their privacy, you also want to

2630
01:57:19,560 --> 01:57:21,400
Speaker 1: share your side of the story, even though you know

2631
01:57:21,560 --> 01:57:23,720
Speaker 1: that that's maybe not exactly Like if you were to

2632
01:57:23,760 --> 01:57:25,760
Speaker 1: go with a third party objective view to that stuff,

2633
01:57:25,760 --> 01:57:27,440
Speaker 1: like maybe you would see things a little bit differently.

2634
01:57:27,680 --> 01:57:30,240
Speaker 1: So it's just always like a weird, challenging dynamic. But UM,

2635
01:57:30,400 --> 01:57:32,920
Speaker 1: I don't think that we could have gone deeper into

2636
01:57:33,000 --> 01:57:40,839
Speaker 1: anything than we did. I I am a little upset that. Um.

2637
01:57:40,960 --> 01:57:44,000
Speaker 1: We talked a little bit about how there were only

2638
01:57:44,040 --> 01:57:45,880
Speaker 1: a few moments that I were to show emotion during

2639
01:57:45,880 --> 01:57:48,400
Speaker 1: this podcast that you said because I wanted to show more,

2640
01:57:48,400 --> 01:57:50,400
Speaker 1: and I do want to show more, and I obviously

2641
01:57:50,880 --> 01:57:52,520
Speaker 1: you know, we've we've gotten there a couple of times

2642
01:57:52,560 --> 01:57:54,920
Speaker 1: as friends. But it's kind of, I guess hard to

2643
01:57:54,960 --> 01:57:57,240
Speaker 1: be like that performative and be like, let's dive into

2644
01:57:57,280 --> 01:57:59,280
Speaker 1: this and like let's get super emotional about it, especially

2645
01:57:59,320 --> 01:58:01,400
Speaker 1: when with it when it comes to things like talking

2646
01:58:01,400 --> 01:58:04,600
Speaker 1: about my mother passing away or Hunter or Alex. It's

2647
01:58:04,680 --> 01:58:06,839
Speaker 1: kind of gotten to the point where I've just began

2648
01:58:06,880 --> 01:58:08,560
Speaker 1: to recite like a script in my head. You know

2649
01:58:08,600 --> 01:58:10,160
Speaker 1: what I mean. You you explain it enough times, you

2650
01:58:10,200 --> 01:58:12,160
Speaker 1: basically just spit out the facts as quickly as you

2651
01:58:12,200 --> 01:58:14,040
Speaker 1: can and then you hope to move on to the

2652
01:58:14,040 --> 01:58:17,920
Speaker 1: next topic. And this was it was that, but it

2653
01:58:18,000 --> 01:58:20,360
Speaker 1: was like a maybe a more water down version of

2654
01:58:20,360 --> 01:58:22,160
Speaker 1: that where we would do a little bit deeper into

2655
01:58:22,200 --> 01:58:24,400
Speaker 1: which I appreciate, but I still feel like there were

2656
01:58:24,440 --> 01:58:26,200
Speaker 1: times where I was kind of like going into autopilot

2657
01:58:26,200 --> 01:58:27,840
Speaker 1: mode and just like saying things that I've said a

2658
01:58:27,880 --> 01:58:30,680
Speaker 1: thousand times, you know what I mean, And so I'll

2659
01:58:30,840 --> 01:58:32,200
Speaker 1: if I were to listen back to this, I would

2660
01:58:32,200 --> 01:58:35,520
Speaker 1: I would probably be critical of myself for not being

2661
01:58:35,600 --> 01:58:39,840
Speaker 1: more I guess, like spontaneous with my emotions and like

2662
01:58:39,960 --> 01:58:42,240
Speaker 1: figuring out exactly what might have been causing those like

2663
01:58:43,040 --> 01:58:46,320
Speaker 1: words that I was saying, you know, And and I

2664
01:58:46,360 --> 01:58:48,120
Speaker 1: don't know how to respond to that, because I feel

2665
01:58:48,120 --> 01:58:51,640
Speaker 1: like it's it is one of the detriments to doing

2666
01:58:51,760 --> 01:58:54,320
Speaker 1: a having a public life at any level is you

2667
01:58:54,320 --> 01:58:56,919
Speaker 1: get asked about the things that have been most pivotal

2668
01:58:56,920 --> 01:58:59,720
Speaker 1: in your story, like a mother passing or a best

2669
01:58:59,720 --> 01:59:02,320
Speaker 1: friend passing, and you could ask about it so consistently

2670
01:59:02,680 --> 01:59:05,840
Speaker 1: even today, like different thing. But for me, some pivotal

2671
01:59:05,880 --> 01:59:07,920
Speaker 1: points in my life are my times in Hohnderous and

2672
01:59:07,960 --> 01:59:10,200
Speaker 1: like my relationship with Lauren. I just did a press

2673
01:59:10,200 --> 01:59:11,800
Speaker 1: to her today and I was asked about Lauren getting

2674
01:59:11,800 --> 01:59:15,960
Speaker 1: married on every single one of my stops, like that's

2675
01:59:16,000 --> 01:59:18,240
Speaker 1: my ex who I spent two years of my life with,

2676
01:59:18,400 --> 01:59:20,320
Speaker 1: who like has held a big piece of my heart

2677
01:59:20,360 --> 01:59:23,320
Speaker 1: for a while. Or your your mother who has a

2678
01:59:23,400 --> 01:59:25,160
Speaker 1: huge role in your life, but you talk about it

2679
01:59:25,200 --> 01:59:27,680
Speaker 1: so consistently that you've become numb to the answers and

2680
01:59:27,720 --> 01:59:31,000
Speaker 1: it does become routine, and it's scary. It's scary, but

2681
01:59:31,080 --> 01:59:35,880
Speaker 1: it's also healthy because I know that in my own

2682
01:59:35,960 --> 01:59:41,800
Speaker 1: time there is a deep sensitivity and caring for those

2683
01:59:41,840 --> 01:59:44,480
Speaker 1: moments that like I can't highlight publicly because I just

2684
01:59:44,560 --> 01:59:46,840
Speaker 1: I do I turn into a robot. Well, and also

2685
01:59:46,840 --> 01:59:49,640
Speaker 1: think about it this way, like in my case, what

2686
01:59:49,680 --> 01:59:51,360
Speaker 1: would it be like if every time someone asked me

2687
01:59:51,400 --> 01:59:52,680
Speaker 1: to talk about my mother, like I broke down and

2688
01:59:52,720 --> 01:59:53,960
Speaker 1: started crying, you know what I mean? Like that just

2689
01:59:53,960 --> 01:59:57,960
Speaker 1: doesn't really seem healthy. I don't know, but maybe it is.

2690
01:59:58,000 --> 01:59:59,760
Speaker 1: Maybe it's not. I don't know. I don't know exactly.

2691
01:59:59,760 --> 02:00:02,000
Speaker 1: It's just that's like, like like you said, you kind

2692
02:00:02,000 --> 02:00:03,720
Speaker 1: of become numb to it and you just basically recite

2693
02:00:03,760 --> 02:00:05,280
Speaker 1: the things that you've learned to recite just so you

2694
02:00:05,280 --> 02:00:07,360
Speaker 1: can kind of either a get off a topic you're

2695
02:00:07,400 --> 02:00:10,520
Speaker 1: uncomfortable talking about and move on to something else. Or

2696
02:00:10,840 --> 02:00:15,040
Speaker 1: for whatever other reason. I don't know, Dean, Um close

2697
02:00:15,080 --> 02:00:19,280
Speaker 1: out here. Thirty second message to our listeners before we do,

2698
02:00:19,440 --> 02:00:22,720
Speaker 1: Ashley has written some rapid fire questions for you. We're

2699
02:00:22,720 --> 02:00:24,680
Speaker 1: gonna bring on Bob Dalton at the end of the podcast.

2700
02:00:24,960 --> 02:00:28,640
Speaker 1: But thirty second message to our listeners of who you're becoming,

2701
02:00:28,640 --> 02:00:33,080
Speaker 1: who you want to be, and how they can live

2702
02:00:33,200 --> 02:00:36,760
Speaker 1: their best life. Wow, best life? That's a good one. Um.

2703
02:00:36,800 --> 02:00:38,680
Speaker 1: Who am I becoming? I think every day I grew

2704
02:00:38,760 --> 02:00:41,280
Speaker 1: up to hopefully become a better version of myself. I

2705
02:00:41,320 --> 02:00:42,800
Speaker 1: don't really know. This is kind of a weird thirty

2706
02:00:42,800 --> 02:00:45,760
Speaker 1: second segment. Um. If you're listening to this, be sure

2707
02:00:45,800 --> 02:00:48,640
Speaker 1: to listen to help I second dating on I Heart Radio. Also,

2708
02:00:48,760 --> 02:00:50,880
Speaker 1: if you're listening to this. A big thing that people

2709
02:00:50,920 --> 02:00:53,160
Speaker 1: reach out to me often about on Instagram is about

2710
02:00:53,200 --> 02:00:54,880
Speaker 1: the traveling that I do. And I think that I've

2711
02:00:54,920 --> 02:00:57,360
Speaker 1: learned a lot about myself through the travels that I've done,

2712
02:00:57,720 --> 02:01:01,000
Speaker 1: both by myself and with friends and significant others. Um.

2713
02:01:01,040 --> 02:01:03,240
Speaker 1: And if you're ever questioning whether you should do something

2714
02:01:03,280 --> 02:01:05,320
Speaker 1: along those lines, I fully support it and encourage you

2715
02:01:05,360 --> 02:01:07,520
Speaker 1: to do it because I've learned a lot about myself.

2716
02:01:07,880 --> 02:01:10,720
Speaker 1: I've gained, uh, I would say almost all the confidence

2717
02:01:10,760 --> 02:01:13,800
Speaker 1: I have nowadays. It's just through traveling, especially as of lately,

2718
02:01:14,080 --> 02:01:18,520
Speaker 1: by myself with my friends, and it's invaluable experience and

2719
02:01:18,680 --> 02:01:21,000
Speaker 1: it's incredibly fun. Be sure to check out my website

2720
02:01:21,200 --> 02:01:24,840
Speaker 1: www dot Danie babies dot com. I'm writing about my

2721
02:01:24,920 --> 02:01:28,120
Speaker 1: travels a little bit more, and I want to be

2722
02:01:28,160 --> 02:01:29,600
Speaker 1: able to share with you kind of like the nitty

2723
02:01:29,600 --> 02:01:32,240
Speaker 1: gritty side of traveling, not really like the puffed up

2724
02:01:32,240 --> 02:01:35,640
Speaker 1: like I share about my costs and my planning and

2725
02:01:35,680 --> 02:01:37,200
Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff, And I kind of want

2726
02:01:37,200 --> 02:01:39,080
Speaker 1: to shed some light on that side of things to

2727
02:01:39,200 --> 02:01:41,680
Speaker 1: hopefully allow you to understand it better to be able

2728
02:01:41,680 --> 02:01:43,880
Speaker 1: to do it yourself, because it's changed me a lot

2729
02:01:43,880 --> 02:01:46,200
Speaker 1: as a human. So that's it. So where can they

2730
02:01:46,200 --> 02:01:49,400
Speaker 1: find the blog? Danny Babies dot com, Deanie babies dot

2731
02:01:49,480 --> 02:01:52,440
Speaker 1: com Coming at you, Dean, send us out here. Ashley's

2732
02:01:52,520 --> 02:01:57,080
Speaker 1: Rapid Fire Questions TV show You're loving right now? Oh,

2733
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Speaker 1: living with yourself? You can only have one of these

2734
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Speaker 1: two paste floss soap. Which one do you pick? Oh

2735
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Speaker 1: Man toothpaste artists? You want to have play at your wedding?

2736
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Speaker 1: Oh John Craigy good choice. Wind to know. I just

2737
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Speaker 1: saw him live, did you? Oh? Yeah? Love? John Grady,

2738
02:02:17,200 --> 02:02:20,560
Speaker 1: that's I like that about you? Hey, celebrity crush Kaylyn

2739
02:02:20,640 --> 02:02:28,280
Speaker 1: Miller Keys can't choose her, Jamie Chunk not surprised, Jared

2740
02:02:28,360 --> 02:02:32,960
Speaker 1: or Nick? Jared and Nick. I don't know. Ben, that's

2741
02:02:33,000 --> 02:02:37,520
Speaker 1: a messed up question that you can only listen to

2742
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Speaker 1: one of these bands forever. Which one do you pick?

2743
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Speaker 1: In sink Backstreet Boys or Jonas Brothers. I'll go deaf,

2744
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Speaker 1: thank you very much. And this one is easy. Which

2745
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Speaker 1: one did you rather give up? Drinking or traveling? Drinking?

2746
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Speaker 1: Dean and Glared everybody, it's holiday season. We're up in flying, driving,

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Speaker 1: We're playing strains, automobiles, walking. I don't know what you

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Speaker 1: Away luggage is the perfect suitcase with all the features

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Speaker 1: that make travel easier. We are constantly traveling, and the

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Speaker 1: perfect luggage is so important. You just heard Dean. He

2754
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Speaker 1: two weeks. I'm on a flight again tomorrow. Things happen

2756
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Speaker 1: in life that you just you gotta move and groove

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2780
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Speaker 1: code famous during checkup. You heard us talk about it

2781
02:05:07,840 --> 02:05:11,920
Speaker 1: many times before. Just for a little reminder, two years ago,

2782
02:05:12,040 --> 02:05:13,600
Speaker 1: I started on a journey with a few my buddy

2783
02:05:13,600 --> 02:05:16,320
Speaker 1: starting a company called Generous International. I'm not gonna bore

2784
02:05:16,360 --> 02:05:17,760
Speaker 1: you with it because if you're a fan of the show,

2785
02:05:17,760 --> 02:05:20,839
Speaker 1: you've probably heard it many times before. But Generous sells coffee,

2786
02:05:21,280 --> 02:05:24,640
Speaker 1: t shirts, bracelets, mugs, other products with stories behind them,

2787
02:05:24,640 --> 02:05:28,840
Speaker 1: and we donate the profits of them back to nonprofits,

2788
02:05:28,840 --> 02:05:34,360
Speaker 1: social causes, etcetera that are making UH life change in

2789
02:05:34,360 --> 02:05:37,280
Speaker 1: the world. So it's fighting human injustice that are affecting humans.

2790
02:05:37,720 --> 02:05:41,160
Speaker 1: And here right now, we're partnering with a campaign with

2791
02:05:41,200 --> 02:05:44,680
Speaker 1: Sackcloth and Ashes. Uh. Sackcloth and Nashes is a blanket

2792
02:05:44,720 --> 02:05:49,320
Speaker 1: company that is a give one. How would you explain

2793
02:05:49,360 --> 02:05:51,040
Speaker 1: that bob by one give one model? Is that what

2794
02:05:51,040 --> 02:05:54,920
Speaker 1: you call that give one local local model. Uh, we're

2795
02:05:54,960 --> 02:05:57,840
Speaker 1: partnering Sackcloth and Nash is because for every blanket you

2796
02:05:57,920 --> 02:06:03,400
Speaker 1: buy between October through October a blink, it will be

2797
02:06:03,440 --> 02:06:07,680
Speaker 1: donated to your local homeless shelter. Along with you will

2798
02:06:07,760 --> 02:06:11,560
Speaker 1: receive a twelve ounce bag of coffee and the proceeds

2799
02:06:11,560 --> 02:06:15,120
Speaker 1: will be donated to the l A Mission. And right now,

2800
02:06:15,200 --> 02:06:17,920
Speaker 1: my good buddy, one of my greatest friends, one of

2801
02:06:17,960 --> 02:06:20,640
Speaker 1: my newest friends, Bob Dalton, is in studio talking to

2802
02:06:20,720 --> 02:06:25,200
Speaker 1: us about the campaign right now. Bob, obviously I know

2803
02:06:25,760 --> 02:06:27,720
Speaker 1: uh the story behind sack Cloth and Nashes. But for

2804
02:06:27,760 --> 02:06:30,920
Speaker 1: the listeners out there that do not, um, why was

2805
02:06:30,960 --> 02:06:34,240
Speaker 1: sack Claus started? Yeah, So I launched the company five

2806
02:06:34,320 --> 02:06:36,680
Speaker 1: years ago and it was inspired by my mom who

2807
02:06:36,800 --> 02:06:39,480
Speaker 1: ended up living on the streets for a short period

2808
02:06:39,480 --> 02:06:43,000
Speaker 1: of time, and it completely changed my paradigm of how

2809
02:06:43,080 --> 02:06:45,360
Speaker 1: I view and understand homelessness because I was always the

2810
02:06:45,360 --> 02:06:47,080
Speaker 1: guy that would drive by people on the street and

2811
02:06:47,080 --> 02:06:50,120
Speaker 1: whisper under my breath, go get a job. And she

2812
02:06:50,200 --> 02:06:53,480
Speaker 1: ended up in that situation and it um changed my paradigm.

2813
02:06:53,520 --> 02:06:55,920
Speaker 1: Because she has two college degrees, she raised my sister

2814
02:06:55,960 --> 02:06:58,120
Speaker 1: and I by herself. She's the hardest working woman I know,

2815
02:06:58,760 --> 02:07:01,440
Speaker 1: and so the idea that she would end up in

2816
02:07:01,440 --> 02:07:04,480
Speaker 1: that situation, it inspired me to call my local Homo

2817
02:07:04,560 --> 02:07:06,920
Speaker 1: shelters and ask what they needed, and they all said blankets.

2818
02:07:07,400 --> 02:07:09,160
Speaker 1: And I was familiar with the one for one model,

2819
02:07:09,400 --> 02:07:11,240
Speaker 1: but I felt like the evolution to the one for

2820
02:07:11,280 --> 02:07:13,920
Speaker 1: one model was to evolve it and make it local

2821
02:07:14,680 --> 02:07:17,440
Speaker 1: and um giving people all around the United States an

2822
02:07:17,480 --> 02:07:19,920
Speaker 1: opportunity to make a difference down the street from where

2823
02:07:19,920 --> 02:07:22,000
Speaker 1: they live. And so I came up with the idea

2824
02:07:22,040 --> 02:07:24,680
Speaker 1: that for every blanket purchased, will donate a blanket to

2825
02:07:24,800 --> 02:07:28,320
Speaker 1: that person's local Homer shelters. So if you live in Austin, Texas,

2826
02:07:28,400 --> 02:07:29,920
Speaker 1: and you buy a blanket, will send a blanket to

2827
02:07:29,920 --> 02:07:32,920
Speaker 1: a Homo shelter in Austin. If you live in Nashville, Tennessee,

2828
02:07:32,920 --> 02:07:34,320
Speaker 1: and you buy a blanket, will send a blanket to

2829
02:07:34,360 --> 02:07:37,440
Speaker 1: a shelter in Nashville. And the whole concept was, let's

2830
02:07:37,440 --> 02:07:40,120
Speaker 1: empower people to make a difference in their local communities

2831
02:07:40,400 --> 02:07:42,800
Speaker 1: to help an issue that is in all of our backyards.

2832
02:07:43,400 --> 02:07:45,760
Speaker 1: You actually brought in I think two blankets from Market

2833
02:07:45,800 --> 02:07:47,880
Speaker 1: Easton to day. You want to pass those out real quick, Yeah,

2834
02:07:47,960 --> 02:07:53,120
Speaker 1: that'd be great. Check these out as we're talking. H Yeah,

2835
02:07:53,160 --> 02:07:55,560
Speaker 1: we're passing on the blankets right now. Um for Mark

2836
02:07:55,600 --> 02:07:58,480
Speaker 1: and Easton take home, keep cuttle up with tonight with

2837
02:07:58,560 --> 02:08:02,280
Speaker 1: their their lovely wives. Easton has the biggest malea space.

2838
02:08:02,320 --> 02:08:05,640
Speaker 1: There's that one man that loves getting gifts more than Easton.

2839
02:08:07,240 --> 02:08:09,680
Speaker 1: Um Bob as as they opened up these gifts here,

2840
02:08:09,680 --> 02:08:11,360
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you a little bit. Then

2841
02:08:12,400 --> 02:08:15,520
Speaker 1: you see a need, Um, you hear a need from

2842
02:08:15,520 --> 02:08:18,200
Speaker 1: the local shelters. You start this blanket company, and then

2843
02:08:18,240 --> 02:08:20,320
Speaker 1: what is the story of sackcloth and ash has been?

2844
02:08:20,360 --> 02:08:25,000
Speaker 1: Because that's where it starts, but it's definitely not There's

2845
02:08:25,000 --> 02:08:26,880
Speaker 1: a lot that's happened to get you to this place

2846
02:08:26,960 --> 02:08:29,880
Speaker 1: where you are now. Yeah. So the quick overview is

2847
02:08:30,040 --> 02:08:32,240
Speaker 1: I launched the company with a sewing machine and a

2848
02:08:32,320 --> 02:08:35,480
Speaker 1: roll of fabric from Joe Ann's Fabric and shout out

2849
02:08:35,520 --> 02:08:37,760
Speaker 1: to Joe Ann's. I still get the discount codes on

2850
02:08:37,760 --> 02:08:41,000
Speaker 1: my phone, and I realized really quickly that I can't sew,

2851
02:08:41,560 --> 02:08:44,760
Speaker 1: and so I found a lady in my community that could.

2852
02:08:44,760 --> 02:08:47,080
Speaker 1: So she started making me blankets. I'd box them up,

2853
02:08:47,360 --> 02:08:50,080
Speaker 1: started driving up and down the Oregon coast and getting

2854
02:08:50,120 --> 02:08:52,760
Speaker 1: into as many shops as I could. And my only

2855
02:08:52,800 --> 02:08:55,480
Speaker 1: business strategy was post on Instagram once a day. So

2856
02:08:55,520 --> 02:08:57,640
Speaker 1: I'm posting on Instagram. This is back in two thousand

2857
02:08:57,680 --> 02:09:00,600
Speaker 1: fourteen when Instagram was just at the early stages of

2858
02:09:00,680 --> 02:09:03,080
Speaker 1: kind of at the bottom of the wave. November of

2859
02:09:03,160 --> 02:09:07,040
Speaker 1: two thousand fourteen, five months into business, Instagram emailed me

2860
02:09:07,360 --> 02:09:09,120
Speaker 1: and they're like, Bob, we love your story, we love

2861
02:09:09,160 --> 02:09:11,400
Speaker 1: what you're doing. We want to feature you on Instagram's

2862
02:09:11,440 --> 02:09:14,080
Speaker 1: Instagram account. And that was kind of our kickstarter. That

2863
02:09:14,120 --> 02:09:16,920
Speaker 1: was our big break as a company. They post about us,

2864
02:09:16,920 --> 02:09:19,720
Speaker 1: we go out to forty two million people and we

2865
02:09:19,760 --> 02:09:23,000
Speaker 1: grew like twenty thousand followers overnight. Ultimately, what that did

2866
02:09:23,080 --> 02:09:25,040
Speaker 1: was it gave us the ability to work with pretty

2867
02:09:25,080 --> 02:09:28,240
Speaker 1: much any content creator on Instagram. So there was a

2868
02:09:28,240 --> 02:09:30,680
Speaker 1: time like two thousand fourteen, two thousand fifteen, I was

2869
02:09:30,680 --> 02:09:33,360
Speaker 1: working with over a hundred influencers at one time and

2870
02:09:33,480 --> 02:09:35,840
Speaker 1: just built the brand on social media for the first

2871
02:09:35,840 --> 02:09:39,720
Speaker 1: four years. Two thousand eighteen, we launched our first major

2872
02:09:39,800 --> 02:09:42,800
Speaker 1: campaign called Blanket the United States, where our goal is

2873
02:09:42,840 --> 02:09:45,280
Speaker 1: to donate one million blankets a home of shelters by

2874
02:09:45,280 --> 02:09:47,760
Speaker 1: two thousand twenty four and we're gonna do that by

2875
02:09:47,760 --> 02:09:49,960
Speaker 1: partnering with people individually who buy a blanket from our

2876
02:09:50,000 --> 02:09:52,200
Speaker 1: website will send a blanket to their local home of shelter.

2877
02:09:52,560 --> 02:09:55,040
Speaker 1: And we're gonna do that by partnering with companies that

2878
02:09:55,080 --> 02:09:57,400
Speaker 1: want to give gifts to their employees of their customers.

2879
02:09:57,480 --> 02:09:59,600
Speaker 1: They can now give a blanket as a gift and

2880
02:09:59,680 --> 02:10:01,440
Speaker 1: make it difference in their local home and shelters. So

2881
02:10:01,480 --> 02:10:04,400
Speaker 1: it's answering a huge question for tons of corporations around

2882
02:10:04,400 --> 02:10:06,480
Speaker 1: the United States that are like, how can we make

2883
02:10:06,520 --> 02:10:08,480
Speaker 1: a difference in our local communities. You can now give

2884
02:10:08,520 --> 02:10:10,160
Speaker 1: a blanket as a gift and make a difference in

2885
02:10:10,200 --> 02:10:12,640
Speaker 1: your local community. So what that's done is it's opened

2886
02:10:12,720 --> 02:10:14,720
Speaker 1: up the door for us to work with organizations all

2887
02:10:14,720 --> 02:10:17,640
Speaker 1: around the United States and partner with people like ben

2888
02:10:18,200 --> 02:10:23,160
Speaker 1: UH to run a specific awareness campaigns to bring exposure

2889
02:10:23,640 --> 02:10:27,040
Speaker 1: and light to organizations that are actually doing really good

2890
02:10:27,040 --> 02:10:30,600
Speaker 1: work on a grassroots level. It's you know, for anybody

2891
02:10:30,600 --> 02:10:33,200
Speaker 1: out there listening, Cyclous nash Is has quickly become one

2892
02:10:33,200 --> 02:10:38,440
Speaker 1: of the most UM prominent for purpose companies UH in

2893
02:10:38,480 --> 02:10:42,320
Speaker 1: the US, and UH and obviously Generous is working really hard.

2894
02:10:42,880 --> 02:10:45,280
Speaker 1: UM to continue to do good as well. You know,

2895
02:10:45,360 --> 02:10:50,840
Speaker 1: for somebody like Sackcloth, Nash's who have. You have a platform,

2896
02:10:50,960 --> 02:10:52,720
Speaker 1: you have a product, things are going well, Why do

2897
02:10:52,760 --> 02:10:55,800
Speaker 1: you partner with a company like Generous? I just had

2898
02:10:55,800 --> 02:10:58,640
Speaker 1: a lot of respect for you personally, because, you know,

2899
02:10:59,000 --> 02:11:02,760
Speaker 1: anybody that gains following really quick, it's really fascinating to

2900
02:11:02,760 --> 02:11:05,320
Speaker 1: see what they ultimately do with that platform. And I

2901
02:11:05,360 --> 02:11:07,160
Speaker 1: had a lot of respect for you because you actually

2902
02:11:07,240 --> 02:11:10,240
Speaker 1: use your platform to start something from the ground up.

2903
02:11:10,560 --> 02:11:13,200
Speaker 1: And you know, I just have respect for anybody that's

2904
02:11:13,200 --> 02:11:14,920
Speaker 1: out there trying to start something from the ground up.

2905
02:11:15,240 --> 02:11:18,640
Speaker 1: Is entrepreneurship is incredibly difficult and eight percent of the

2906
02:11:18,680 --> 02:11:20,880
Speaker 1: time doesn't work out. So the fact that you use

2907
02:11:21,000 --> 02:11:23,440
Speaker 1: the platform that you had to actually start something from

2908
02:11:23,480 --> 02:11:26,000
Speaker 1: the ground up, and specifically start something from the ground

2909
02:11:26,080 --> 02:11:28,920
Speaker 1: up that actually is making a difference, that's what really

2910
02:11:29,000 --> 02:11:32,120
Speaker 1: drew me to what you're doing. And you know, I'm

2911
02:11:32,160 --> 02:11:34,640
Speaker 1: a fan, I'm I'm a supporter of anybody out there

2912
02:11:34,680 --> 02:11:36,880
Speaker 1: that's actually showing up and trying to make stuff happen

2913
02:11:36,960 --> 02:11:40,320
Speaker 1: like that. And so yeah, it's been a privilege to

2914
02:11:40,360 --> 02:11:42,040
Speaker 1: be able to partner with you in Generous and being

2915
02:11:42,080 --> 02:11:45,040
Speaker 1: able to do this specific campaign. Yeah, well it sounds

2916
02:11:45,040 --> 02:11:46,560
Speaker 1: like I just teed myself up for a really nice

2917
02:11:46,560 --> 02:11:50,120
Speaker 1: compliment there. Um, that's not you know, I think Bob

2918
02:11:50,120 --> 02:11:51,520
Speaker 1: and I have gotten along really well because I think

2919
02:11:51,560 --> 02:11:54,720
Speaker 1: generous mission to donate profits back to and kind of

2920
02:11:54,760 --> 02:11:57,800
Speaker 1: be the engine that fuels nonprofits. They're trying to make

2921
02:11:57,840 --> 02:12:00,640
Speaker 1: life change and Sackcloth and Nash is a mission to

2922
02:12:00,720 --> 02:12:04,800
Speaker 1: blank the US and to help um people without homes

2923
02:12:05,040 --> 02:12:08,240
Speaker 1: feel known, be loved and have that blanket. Uh. As

2924
02:12:08,280 --> 02:12:10,120
Speaker 1: we close out here, Bob, you said something this morning

2925
02:12:10,120 --> 02:12:12,440
Speaker 1: as we had coffee that I think, is it really

2926
02:12:12,480 --> 02:12:16,920
Speaker 1: hits home for me? Um, because blankets are so much

2927
02:12:17,000 --> 02:12:19,960
Speaker 1: more uh than just a material item to have in

2928
02:12:20,040 --> 02:12:22,800
Speaker 1: the whole. Why was blankets and why has been blankets

2929
02:12:22,800 --> 02:12:24,840
Speaker 1: been so important to you? Yeah, we kind of hit

2930
02:12:24,840 --> 02:12:28,360
Speaker 1: the jackpot with blankets just because blankets was or is

2931
02:12:28,480 --> 02:12:32,480
Speaker 1: a universal product. Everybody has blankets. Everybody deserves to have

2932
02:12:32,520 --> 02:12:35,600
Speaker 1: a blanket, and blankets are an item of dignity and comfort,

2933
02:12:35,760 --> 02:12:40,200
Speaker 1: you know, and and beyond that, ultimately, blankets have become

2934
02:12:40,200 --> 02:12:43,640
Speaker 1: a third party object that's connecting me with people that

2935
02:12:43,760 --> 02:12:47,800
Speaker 1: have incredible amount of resources and influence and companies that

2936
02:12:47,840 --> 02:12:51,240
Speaker 1: have influence and connecting me with the organizations on a

2937
02:12:51,280 --> 02:12:53,680
Speaker 1: ground level that are showing up every single day and

2938
02:12:53,680 --> 02:12:56,160
Speaker 1: actually doing the work on a grassroots level, and I

2939
02:12:56,200 --> 02:12:58,640
Speaker 1: get to be the bridge builder. The blankets become the

2940
02:12:58,640 --> 02:13:01,720
Speaker 1: connector where I really get to have conversations with these

2941
02:13:01,760 --> 02:13:04,640
Speaker 1: people that have resources and have a platform to bring

2942
02:13:04,720 --> 02:13:07,360
Speaker 1: exposure and resources to the people that actually need it

2943
02:13:07,440 --> 02:13:10,520
Speaker 1: right now. And the more that we focus on issues

2944
02:13:10,680 --> 02:13:14,480
Speaker 1: in our society and our media, the more issues we create,

2945
02:13:14,600 --> 02:13:17,720
Speaker 1: the more that we focus on solutions, the better society

2946
02:13:17,800 --> 02:13:20,600
Speaker 1: we create. And so the blankets ultimately are creating an

2947
02:13:20,600 --> 02:13:23,240
Speaker 1: opportunity for me to be able to use my platform

2948
02:13:23,320 --> 02:13:26,160
Speaker 1: and invite other people to use their platform to highlight

2949
02:13:26,200 --> 02:13:29,240
Speaker 1: solutions that are being created all around the United States

2950
02:13:29,440 --> 02:13:33,160
Speaker 1: UM that are doing good work to help solve and

2951
02:13:33,280 --> 02:13:35,800
Speaker 1: UM bring some aid to the issue of homelessness. So,

2952
02:13:35,840 --> 02:13:40,880
Speaker 1: in summary, here's what's happening October through UM and we'll

2953
02:13:40,880 --> 02:13:42,880
Speaker 1: probably let it run out a little bit longer UM.

2954
02:13:42,920 --> 02:13:44,200
Speaker 1: So if you listen to this and you're like, oh,

2955
02:13:44,280 --> 02:13:47,560
Speaker 1: it's the thirty feet, it's okay. You can still play UM.

2956
02:13:47,600 --> 02:13:49,920
Speaker 1: Type in the code generous when you purchase a blanket

2957
02:13:49,960 --> 02:13:53,200
Speaker 1: online at Sackcloth nashes dot com. With that, your local

2958
02:13:53,200 --> 02:13:57,560
Speaker 1: homeless shelter will receive a blanket. Along with you will

2959
02:13:57,600 --> 02:14:01,240
Speaker 1: receive a bag of Generous coffee and then the l

2960
02:14:01,280 --> 02:14:04,240
Speaker 1: A Mission is going to receive twenty five of the

2961
02:14:04,320 --> 02:14:09,280
Speaker 1: proceeds from this campaign. We've talked about it before and

2962
02:14:09,320 --> 02:14:11,520
Speaker 1: I want to say it again. The only heroes in

2963
02:14:11,560 --> 02:14:14,400
Speaker 1: this are the consumers, and so you have to purchase

2964
02:14:14,480 --> 02:14:17,720
Speaker 1: to make this campaign successful. Uh, it's the holiday season.

2965
02:14:17,760 --> 02:14:21,160
Speaker 1: These are great holiday gifts. Um. We're excited to be

2966
02:14:21,240 --> 02:14:24,040
Speaker 1: doing this together. And thank you to I heart Fulness

2967
02:14:24,080 --> 02:14:25,640
Speaker 1: come on and talk about it. And also thinks that

2968
02:14:25,640 --> 02:14:28,040
Speaker 1: I heard for helping set up kind of the press

2969
02:14:28,080 --> 02:14:30,960
Speaker 1: tour today. It's been a great day and I am

2970
02:14:31,000 --> 02:14:33,160
Speaker 1: so excited to be able to partner with people like

2971
02:14:33,280 --> 02:14:36,320
Speaker 1: Bob and his team at Sackcloth nash Is along with

2972
02:14:36,520 --> 02:14:40,040
Speaker 1: Generous Um to make some life change happen, and we're

2973
02:14:40,080 --> 02:14:41,840
Speaker 1: excited to do it with you. Also again, that's sack

2974
02:14:41,840 --> 02:14:46,240
Speaker 1: Cloth Nash's dot com typing the code generous. Follow the

2975
02:14:46,280 --> 02:14:49,440
Speaker 1: Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on iHeart Radio

2976
02:14:49,640 --> 02:14:52,040
Speaker 1: or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.