WEBVTT - More with Elizabeth Kott 0:00:00.220 --> 0:00:15.490 Hi, everyone. It's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress. And 0:00:15.510 --> 0:00:18.510 we're back on Work in Progress with none other than 0:00:18.570 --> 0:00:22.130 Elizabeth Cott. Let's dive in and pull on all those 0:00:22.170 --> 0:00:24.480 threads from the first part of our conversation, shall we? 0:00:24.500 --> 0:00:28.260 I'm curious. Yes. With the writing the book process, I 0:00:28.300 --> 0:00:31.120 heard you say on your episode of this very show 0:00:31.820 --> 0:00:36.850 that it was a very healing experience. Yeah. What was 0:00:36.870 --> 0:00:39.769 the most cathartic part of that? 0:00:40.070 --> 0:00:43.050 Man, you know, I think, and this is something I've 0:00:43.090 --> 0:00:46.110 talked about a little bit, but I would venture plenty 0:00:46.130 --> 0:00:49.970 of people deal with this. When you do the work 0:00:50.050 --> 0:00:54.930 like you were talking about, when you work to... become 0:00:54.950 --> 0:01:00.970 a better version of yourself year over year, learn better tools, 0:01:01.370 --> 0:01:05.500 figure out how to have better conversations. There is work 0:01:05.620 --> 0:01:08.940 in that. And I think for people like me who 0:01:09.000 --> 0:01:14.220 really love a lot of information, I can figure out 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:17.390 an experience I've had by understanding where it fits in 0:01:17.430 --> 0:01:21.410 the larger you know, realm of experience where I can go, well, 0:01:21.550 --> 0:01:25.709 X percent of women experience this. Okay, okay, that helps me. 0:01:27.150 --> 0:01:30.170 What I can also do is intellectualize my feelings more 0:01:30.220 --> 0:01:32.880 than I feel them. And I can say like, no, 0:01:32.920 --> 0:01:35.060 I figured this out and this is why. And yeah, 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:38.140 that's cute, but how do you feel about it? And 0:01:38.180 --> 0:01:41.260 what was really interesting about so many segments of the 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:45.010 book is they forced me to feel things that I 0:01:45.090 --> 0:01:48.230 certainly didn't want to Then in the beginning of the process, 0:01:48.350 --> 0:01:51.070 I was like, oh, come on. I've done it. I'm good. 0:01:51.090 --> 0:01:53.710 It's kind of masturbatory to go back and, you know, 0:01:53.770 --> 0:01:55.930 who gives a shit? And I was like, oh yeah, 0:01:55.950 --> 0:02:01.590 that's really, that's a coping mechanism. Okay. And I had 0:02:01.670 --> 0:02:06.310 to go back and feel through things. And then in 0:02:06.420 --> 0:02:09.040 writing about them, it was almost like an exorcism of sorts. 0:02:09.180 --> 0:02:15.100 They actually moved through me. They actually lost their sort 0:02:15.139 --> 0:02:20.290 of like, sticky coating on my insides. And, you know, 0:02:20.310 --> 0:02:22.090 I got like the gunk out of the pipes, if 0:02:22.110 --> 0:02:26.179 you will. And the craziest part then was there were 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:29.900 sections of the book that I wrote that were searing 0:02:30.060 --> 0:02:35.980 and honest and true and evidenced ADHD again. And then 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:38.600 I went, yeah, now it's out of me and I 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:40.260 don't actually need it to be out in the world. 0:02:41.139 --> 0:02:47.139 So there were entire sections of the And began again. 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:55.140 And that was a really profound experience for me because 0:02:55.180 --> 0:02:59.770 I realized this is actually the balance of the thing 0:02:59.790 --> 0:03:04.790 I struggle with. I am really proud of my work 0:03:04.870 --> 0:03:07.330 and I love what I do. And I'm proud to 0:03:07.370 --> 0:03:08.990 be an advocate. And I only get to be an 0:03:09.130 --> 0:03:11.790 advocate because I'm a public figure. And I also wish 0:03:11.870 --> 0:03:14.620 sometimes I could go out in a mask. 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:15.540 And. 0:03:16.060 --> 0:03:18.160 I want to give everybody everything and I also want 0:03:18.180 --> 0:03:22.060 to have a private life. And in the strangest way, 0:03:22.930 --> 0:03:25.950 really giving everything for a book, I also learned how 0:03:25.970 --> 0:03:28.410 to keep some things for me. And I realized you 0:03:28.430 --> 0:03:32.090 can do that at the same time. It's just complex work. 0:03:33.150 --> 0:03:36.910 That's really beautiful. What an amazing tunnel to move through. 0:03:39.150 --> 0:03:42.660 Definitely like a rebirth yes a canal if you would 0:03:43.510 --> 0:03:44.300 so I. 0:03:44.300 --> 0:03:47.620 Do want to talk about first of all I want 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:48.960 to talk about one of the chapters in the book 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:53.100 and I have to say what a surreal and flattering 0:03:53.460 --> 0:03:58.980 thing it is to make it into somebody's memoir like 0:03:59.020 --> 0:04:01.780 how special what a surprise that was. 0:04:01.920 --> 0:04:04.660 I know I almost like wrote you a note about 0:04:04.740 --> 0:04:06.420 it and then I was like no I just wanted 0:04:06.460 --> 0:04:08.420 to flip the page and be surprised. 0:04:09.770 --> 0:04:15.070 Well, I mean, it's also one of these really illuminating 0:04:15.110 --> 0:04:22.979 chapters in terms of your relationship with your mom. And 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:26.039 do we want to kind of like tee up what 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:27.359 that bit is about? 0:04:27.940 --> 0:04:32.229 Yeah. You know, again, and I realize I'm doing the 0:04:32.260 --> 0:04:34.270 thing where I intellectualize it a little bit and I'm 0:04:34.330 --> 0:04:37.070 admitting it. And here we are. This is... this is 0:04:37.130 --> 0:04:43.410 therapy and whatever, emotional overthinkers anonymous or something. I know 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:47.080 a lot of people go through these sort of contraction 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:50.599 and expansion periods with their family. And I think that's 0:04:50.680 --> 0:04:54.020 really human. Like sometimes your parents are your best friends 0:04:54.080 --> 0:04:57.390 and sometimes you want to, you know, jump out of 0:04:57.430 --> 0:05:00.310 a moving car when they're bothering you about something for 0:05:00.330 --> 0:05:04.950 the thousandth time and And I know so many of 0:05:05.029 --> 0:05:07.750 us have like interesting roads to walk with our families. 0:05:08.730 --> 0:05:15.180 And for me, I got to qualify an experience that 0:05:15.220 --> 0:05:18.979 I was having, I would say maybe 70% of the 0:05:19.020 --> 0:05:21.770 way through like a big journey that I was on 0:05:21.810 --> 0:05:25.070 with my parents. And I was in this complex place 0:05:25.150 --> 0:05:28.880 and I was, you know, studying psychology and looking at 0:05:29.000 --> 0:05:33.380 family systems and, you know, did all of this really 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:38.339 intellectual work. And then also, like, went to see the 0:05:38.380 --> 0:05:41.700 healer and called somebody psychic. Like, why not? At this point, 0:05:41.779 --> 0:05:44.300 I just want somebody to tell me what feels true, 0:05:45.220 --> 0:05:47.940 wherever it comes from. The best idea always wins, as 0:05:48.020 --> 0:05:52.510 I used to always say on set. And... I had 0:05:52.630 --> 0:05:55.280 seen this really cool energy worker a bunch of our 0:05:55.320 --> 0:06:00.120 friends had seen at that point. And she said to me, 0:06:00.180 --> 0:06:05.230 you know, you're in this struggle because you came into 0:06:05.260 --> 0:06:08.810 this lifetime to be your mother's mother. But you are 0:06:08.850 --> 0:06:11.109 just a human that's alive in your lifetime and you 0:06:11.150 --> 0:06:13.839 want your mom to be your mom. And at first 0:06:13.940 --> 0:06:17.500 I was like, this, like, what does that even mean? 0:06:18.180 --> 0:06:22.200 And then interestingly enough, I, I started to really kind 0:06:22.250 --> 0:06:28.669 of understand the profundity of a matrilineal line and what 0:06:28.710 --> 0:06:32.350 we carry and what we inherit. And the fact that, 0:06:32.470 --> 0:06:36.610 you know, your DNA can literally be changed generations after 0:06:36.630 --> 0:06:40.130 a trauma. You know, if your grandmother went through something, 0:06:40.170 --> 0:06:44.300 it can change your presentation and your body now, that 0:06:44.339 --> 0:06:45.779 kind of stuff. And I was like, wait a second, 0:06:46.020 --> 0:06:48.480 maybe there's a place where like the woo-woo and the 0:06:48.540 --> 0:06:53.920 psych meet. And You and I were in the kitchen 0:06:53.940 --> 0:06:58.060 at Friendsgiving and I was telling you about this. And 0:06:58.100 --> 0:07:03.020 then this crazy past lives moment with my mom happened. 0:07:04.660 --> 0:07:07.359 And she said what she said to you and I. 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:13.730 And like, I remember clutching your wrist. I was like, oh. 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:16.390 I just was like, thank God I have a witness 0:07:16.450 --> 0:07:21.980 to this. Because this is happening. My mother... You know, 0:07:22.660 --> 0:07:24.640 I almost called it the TLDR, but I want you 0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:26.750 guys to read it because it is a beautiful story. 0:07:26.790 --> 0:07:32.390 But like my mother essentially, I mean, did say to 0:07:32.470 --> 0:07:35.970 Elizabeth and I that when I was a really little kid, 0:07:35.990 --> 0:07:38.810 I would always ask her if she remembered when I 0:07:38.860 --> 0:07:45.700 was her mom. Chills. It is just, it is a 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:48.180 thing I will never get over. And it really did. 0:07:50.080 --> 0:07:55.410 It's one of those things. That for me personally felt 0:07:56.250 --> 0:08:01.200 as large in terms of what it shifted as the 0:08:01.620 --> 0:08:05.080 times in my life that I've experienced something so miraculous 0:08:05.100 --> 0:08:08.300 or I've seen something so incredible out in nature that 0:08:08.350 --> 0:08:12.560 I'm like, yeah, there's more here. I've never had that 0:08:12.620 --> 0:08:16.380 experience really just for me as one human. And in 0:08:16.440 --> 0:08:19.310 that moment, I had it and you saw it. And 0:08:19.430 --> 0:08:22.930 I was like, is this really happening? And it just was, oh, 0:08:22.930 --> 0:08:24.530 it was so cool. 0:08:24.650 --> 0:08:29.390 One of those moments that's like a marker. 0:08:29.410 --> 0:08:32.480 Yeah. Yeah, there was a before and an after. 0:08:33.010 --> 0:08:37.210 Well, what an honor to get to witness that and 0:08:37.309 --> 0:08:42.350 also have it documented. It's so special. Thank you. So cool. 0:08:42.370 --> 0:08:42.990 That's cool. 0:08:43.570 --> 0:08:44.970 What a feather in my cap. 0:08:45.740 --> 0:08:46.190 I love it. 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:48.339 I get to say I'm in my friend's book. That's 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:52.540 pretty great. I love it. Speaking of unique experiences when 0:08:52.580 --> 0:08:55.599 a friend of yours writes a memoir, it was so 0:08:55.820 --> 0:09:01.550 fun to read about people I know personally, like your 0:09:01.570 --> 0:09:05.110 chapter about Nia. And then even how you talk about 0:09:05.190 --> 0:09:08.830 meeting her for the first time, I picture, that's exactly 0:09:08.870 --> 0:09:13.790 how she talks. Like you so perfectly depicted just her 0:09:13.870 --> 0:09:17.050 entire essence. And I was just, it was just such 0:09:17.090 --> 0:09:21.430 a joy to see like an Angie Banneke or Nicole 0:09:21.490 --> 0:09:25.360 and Babs and Jed and all these people mentioned, how 0:09:25.550 --> 0:09:30.179 rare is it? to read someone's memoir and have like 0:09:30.260 --> 0:09:33.210 full context of the people mentioned. I was just like 0:09:33.250 --> 0:09:35.030 getting such a kick out of it. So that was 0:09:35.090 --> 0:09:39.070 really cool. So obviously the past lives of it all 0:09:39.290 --> 0:09:42.970 kind of, we'll put it in the category of woo proudly. 0:09:42.990 --> 0:09:48.589 Is there something like woo-woo or more kind of out 0:09:48.670 --> 0:09:52.250 there esoteric that you're into lately? 0:09:52.270 --> 0:10:00.200 Oh man. Yeah. You know, I, am really fascinated by 0:10:00.260 --> 0:10:03.880 the etymology of words. You know, where do they come from? 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:09.329 What do they really mean? Even when you consider the 0:10:09.370 --> 0:10:13.370 sort of enormous questions we're asking ourselves societally right now, 0:10:13.630 --> 0:10:19.429 especially about how we treat women. Women's circles are our 0:10:19.490 --> 0:10:23.630 sort of networks have been dismissed for so long. You know, 0:10:23.650 --> 0:10:25.890 they'll call a group of women that goes out to 0:10:25.929 --> 0:10:29.439 dinner gossips. Oh, don't go hang out with those gossips. 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:33.320 You know, those girls, they're gossipy. The root of the 0:10:33.380 --> 0:10:39.240 word gossip literally comes from godship. It's like, imagine a 0:10:39.300 --> 0:10:43.850 sort of older world categorization for like a god sibling, 0:10:43.950 --> 0:10:51.800 someone who's been entrusted to protect you. Gossip was the 0:10:51.860 --> 0:10:55.460 way we protected each other for centuries. It's the way 0:10:55.500 --> 0:10:59.800 we spread medicine, information. It's the way that we rescued 0:10:59.840 --> 0:11:05.040 women from bad situations. And it was, you know, dismissed 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:10.950 and shrunken. And I think for me, I'm very much 0:11:11.170 --> 0:11:15.980 in the space of Words carry energy. They carry roots 0:11:16.220 --> 0:11:18.420 that go back so far, we might not even know 0:11:18.460 --> 0:11:23.740 their history and what they really mean. So linguistics is 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:27.860 science for me. And the hand it is shaking is 0:11:27.920 --> 0:11:31.330 the woo of words have an energy to them. And 0:11:31.630 --> 0:11:34.690 words are spells. You know, Rory talked about this in 0:11:34.730 --> 0:11:37.570 her book, that the way you speak about yourself is 0:11:37.610 --> 0:11:43.910 a spell. And so I'm really... I'm really looking into 0:11:44.730 --> 0:11:52.090 older traditions of women and magic and words and going, oh, 0:11:52.390 --> 0:12:02.100 this is about language and science. It's not something alternative 0:12:02.580 --> 0:12:08.699 or a cult even. It's been called that because they 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:11.579 didn't want women to have the words. What's one of 0:12:11.620 --> 0:12:13.240 the first things they do when they try to take 0:12:13.260 --> 0:12:14.860 their rights away from women? They try to stop them 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:18.520 from getting an education. Right. Whether it's the Taliban or 0:12:18.540 --> 0:12:23.689 the government currently defunding student loans for all these graduate 0:12:24.170 --> 0:12:26.469 level jobs that are mostly held by women, they don't 0:12:26.490 --> 0:12:29.510 want women to go to school. So I think one 0:12:29.530 --> 0:12:32.450 of the most important things we can do is know 0:12:32.490 --> 0:12:37.560 the power of our language. And so it's nerdy language 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:39.599 study for me, but it also comes with some witchy 0:12:40.870 --> 0:12:43.890 stuff and now a word from our sponsors who make 0:12:43.929 --> 0:12:45.230 this show possible. 0:12:56.010 --> 0:13:01.030 Also incredibly timely coming in at a point where your 0:13:01.890 --> 0:13:07.880 words are being brought out into the world yeah so 0:13:07.890 --> 0:13:13.640 there's like a really nice synchronicity with that too. Um, 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:15.740 I love that. That's really cool. 0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:16.500 Okay. 0:13:16.620 --> 0:13:18.599 I want to talk about things you didn't include in 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:22.040 the book because as your friend, there are a few 0:13:22.090 --> 0:13:27.910 things that I think that people should know. One, everyone 0:13:27.929 --> 0:13:31.890 should know that Sophia has an insane eye for interior design. 0:13:32.929 --> 0:13:35.770 And I don't know if people really know that about you. 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:36.959 Thank you. 0:13:37.140 --> 0:13:40.809 But it's like, All of your spaces that you've created 0:13:40.929 --> 0:13:43.030 are so gorgeous. 0:13:43.050 --> 0:13:44.270 Thank you. 0:13:44.290 --> 0:13:46.990 To a level of like, it could be an alternate career. 0:13:48.250 --> 0:13:48.860 I've always thought. 0:13:49.260 --> 0:13:51.860 Yeah. I would love to have that sliding doors moment 0:13:51.900 --> 0:13:53.820 with my life and see what it might be if 0:13:53.940 --> 0:13:55.520 I were doing that for a living. 0:13:56.420 --> 0:13:59.330 And then to that, number two is that you are... 0:14:01.740 --> 0:14:04.500 like a serious shopper. And I say that in like 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:10.570 a celebratory way, complimentary, like going to a flea market 0:14:10.610 --> 0:14:15.189 with you is like an experience. You never leave empty handed. 0:14:15.330 --> 0:14:18.750 Like for me, you know me, I don't, Impulse by ever. 0:14:18.890 --> 0:14:20.880 Like I need to see something. I need to think 0:14:20.940 --> 0:14:23.920 about it for at least two weeks. See, think about 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:26.600 how it fits into my life. I need to like, 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:28.900 I'm really, and I think that it might have to 0:14:28.940 --> 0:14:30.710 do with like a square footage thing that I deal 0:14:30.730 --> 0:14:32.730 with in my own space because I don't have much. 0:14:33.170 --> 0:14:35.770 But I'm always like I can't ever. And then I 0:14:35.890 --> 0:14:39.190 but then I have regretful moments, especially in like a 0:14:39.270 --> 0:14:42.080 flea market situation. But you see you have an eye 0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:42.400 for it. 0:14:42.670 --> 0:14:43.240 You see it. 0:14:43.580 --> 0:14:46.700 It's coming with you. And so like I can I 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:49.540 always have the best time when we do those things. 0:14:49.740 --> 0:14:54.800 And people should know that. That's like it's a skill. 0:14:55.710 --> 0:14:58.230 I love it. But I am getting to the point 0:14:58.870 --> 0:15:02.150 where I'm like, what what am I doing? And part 0:15:02.190 --> 0:15:05.120 of it, I think, comes from I've had to live 0:15:05.130 --> 0:15:08.820 in so many places for work. I've had so many 0:15:08.860 --> 0:15:12.060 places and spaces in other states. And, you know, when 0:15:12.100 --> 0:15:15.900 you live across state lines in multiple places at the 0:15:15.940 --> 0:15:20.200 same time, you kind of lose track. And I really 0:15:20.260 --> 0:15:22.739 respond to the place that I live in terms of 0:15:22.780 --> 0:15:25.860 the way my home is put together, the style of 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:28.780 the building, the style of the town, you know, whatever 0:15:28.820 --> 0:15:32.480 it is. And I... I've now sort of hit a 0:15:32.540 --> 0:15:35.490 point now that I've consolidated where I'm like, what am 0:15:35.500 --> 0:15:37.610 I going to do with all this shit? And one 0:15:37.630 --> 0:15:39.150 of my friends is like, I think you need like 0:15:39.190 --> 0:15:42.110 a Joanna Gaines style warehouse. 0:15:43.030 --> 0:15:43.350 Probably. 0:15:43.370 --> 0:15:46.770 And then people should shop it for their clients. And 0:15:46.810 --> 0:15:50.580 I was like, yeah, I might. I should just DM Joanna, honestly, 0:15:50.640 --> 0:15:54.220 and be like, hey, girl, I got to figure out 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:57.000 what to do with all this stuff. I think you 0:15:57.180 --> 0:15:57.860 might want it. 0:15:57.880 --> 0:16:00.420 I think you have a Martha Stewart style warehouse. 0:16:01.110 --> 0:16:01.470 Sale. 0:16:01.690 --> 0:16:04.150 Do you remember when she had her, that whole massive 0:16:04.170 --> 0:16:08.650 estate sale? No. It was a whole thing. She did? 0:16:08.730 --> 0:16:11.050 There was a TV show about it. She did a special. 0:16:11.070 --> 0:16:14.210 Oh my God. Can we do that? 0:16:14.630 --> 0:16:14.890 Yeah. 0:16:15.340 --> 0:16:16.660 I'd be so into it. 0:16:17.100 --> 0:16:17.380 No, I mean. 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:22.359 I wonder what cool old estate home in LA that's 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:25.840 like on the market or something would let us fill 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:29.650 it up with tchotchkes and I always joke. I'm like, 0:16:29.670 --> 0:16:33.240 these are my treasures and tchotchkes. And Ash goes, you 0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:36.240 mean your trinkets and trash? And I'm like, listen. 0:16:36.260 --> 0:16:40.300 You're like, well, one man's trash, another person's treasure. Okay? 0:16:40.820 --> 0:16:43.180 Yeah. It's so funny. 0:16:43.300 --> 0:16:45.680 But it's like a real, it's a real thing. Like 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:48.130 you have, I mean, you have, not only do you 0:16:48.150 --> 0:16:50.690 have the eye for it, but you have quite the 0:16:50.730 --> 0:16:53.670 collection of And yeah, I think there's something to do 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:57.040 there for sure. But I, as I was reading the book, 0:16:57.080 --> 0:16:58.960 I was like, oh, I wish she talked about that 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:03.950 part of herself that's like has such great taste and 0:17:03.990 --> 0:17:07.090 like can walk in someplace and like really dial it in. 0:17:07.130 --> 0:17:08.730 Like that's a beautiful aspect. 0:17:09.190 --> 0:17:13.230 Thank you. It's so nice to hear you say that. 0:17:13.290 --> 0:17:15.800 And also I just caught myself cringe because I'm like, ooh, 0:17:15.859 --> 0:17:17.720 I don't know that I would write about my own 0:17:17.780 --> 0:17:20.200 good taste. I think that would be hard for me. Right. 0:17:20.540 --> 0:17:20.780 Sure. 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:23.200 But maybe I should figure out how. Maybe that's a problem. 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:25.580 Maybe it's like I need to learn to accept a compliment. 0:17:26.820 --> 0:17:29.300 You will actually love this because you know my mom 0:17:30.080 --> 0:17:32.899 and our whole journey and how great she is. I 0:17:33.820 --> 0:17:39.910 was talking about this recently. It was probably, I say recently, 0:17:39.970 --> 0:17:42.850 not really, a couple of years ago when I, you know, 0:17:42.890 --> 0:17:45.330 burned my whole life to the ground. And I spent 0:17:45.350 --> 0:17:48.670 the summer going to flea markets with my mom. And 0:17:50.030 --> 0:17:53.030 I can't remember who came with us one day, if 0:17:54.150 --> 0:17:57.280 it was like Babs or Britt. A bunch of people 0:17:57.320 --> 0:17:59.760 met at the Rose Bowl and I was talking about like, 0:17:59.820 --> 0:18:01.479 oh yeah, you know, and this looks cool, but they 0:18:01.500 --> 0:18:04.240 should move this wall and windows should go here and da-da-da. 0:18:05.090 --> 0:18:07.050 And somebody was like, how do you know that? And 0:18:07.090 --> 0:18:08.689 my mom goes, oh, she's been like this since she 0:18:08.710 --> 0:18:11.709 was a little kid. And I said, really? And my 0:18:11.750 --> 0:18:13.810 mom goes, oh, she goes, Sophia, it used to be 0:18:13.850 --> 0:18:16.790 so embarrassing. We'd walk into somebody's house and here comes 0:18:16.810 --> 0:18:19.730 my six-year-old being like, your door is in the wrong place. 0:18:19.950 --> 0:18:22.840 I think your HVAC should actually, she goes, you knew 0:18:22.930 --> 0:18:26.420 terms for things and like beams and HVAC and all that. 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:30.560 And I was just like, I did. I don't remember that, 0:18:30.580 --> 0:18:31.540 but I'm so sorry. 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:35.690 Yeah. Our nine-year-old selves are who we are today, if 0:18:35.730 --> 0:18:36.389 we're lucky. 0:18:36.930 --> 0:18:37.320 Truly. 0:18:37.340 --> 0:18:40.360 My other thing, too, was just that, like, how fun 0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:43.000 you are to, like, have a party with. 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:48.859 Thank you. I love hosting. It's like, and maybe it's 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:53.800 one of those things that is the byproduct of having 0:18:53.820 --> 0:18:57.200 a smaller family. Like, I love to have a house 0:18:57.220 --> 0:19:00.220 full of people. I mean, even like getting to throw 0:19:00.290 --> 0:19:02.230 your engagement party. I was like, this is the best 0:19:02.270 --> 0:19:07.190 day of my life. I love this day. Like just whether, 0:19:07.330 --> 0:19:09.790 whether it's a party for someone or it's our friends 0:19:09.830 --> 0:19:12.649 giving every year or whatever it is, it's like, I 0:19:12.690 --> 0:19:17.670 just love an excuse. to gather people and let them 0:19:17.710 --> 0:19:20.229 be in the same space and to hear everybody chattering 0:19:20.310 --> 0:19:23.379 and to, you know, see people sort of milling around 0:19:23.450 --> 0:19:26.220 and hugging each other. And I just love it. Yeah. 0:19:26.420 --> 0:19:30.860 And I think we've, we've calmed down considerably, but there 0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:34.220 was a time where we, we had a lot of fun. 0:19:34.800 --> 0:19:42.190 Oh my God. Oh to how fun things used to be. 0:19:42.310 --> 0:19:45.659 And I'm just like, man, before everything was on the 0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:49.129 internet all the time, like people had fun. You'd go 0:19:49.210 --> 0:19:53.050 out dancing. You'd like see where the night took you. 0:19:53.210 --> 0:19:57.649 It wasn't all so tight. And it was great. 0:19:57.970 --> 0:20:01.100 Yeah, it was great. Some of my best memories ever. 0:20:01.119 --> 0:20:03.880 I do think to bring it back to her, not 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:05.760 that we were invited, but I believe we could be. 0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:09.020 Hearing Nicole Kidman talk about how she'll put on a 0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:11.379 wig and go raving in Ibiza, I'm like, oh, that's 0:20:11.440 --> 0:20:14.480 just how we have to do it now. We're adults. Yeah. 0:20:14.500 --> 0:20:17.720 And we probably need a trip every year. And we'll, like, 0:20:17.780 --> 0:20:19.800 spend three days on the beach. And we'll spend three 0:20:19.840 --> 0:20:22.250 nights out dancing. And we'll go off and on. 0:20:22.260 --> 0:20:22.359 Great. 0:20:22.980 --> 0:20:27.600 And maybe that's the solution. Because I can't... You know, 0:20:28.320 --> 0:20:31.460 my life revolves around toddler schedules now, which I love. 0:20:31.640 --> 0:20:32.800 But it's like, I can't be out late. 0:20:32.820 --> 0:20:33.379 Right. 0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:37.910 But if we planned a trip... We could get, yeah. 0:20:37.930 --> 0:20:41.649 We reschedule our brains to be all in for that 0:20:41.670 --> 0:20:42.700 pocket of days. I'm so in. 0:20:42.710 --> 0:20:43.619 That's what I'm saying. 0:20:43.630 --> 0:20:43.899 I'm with you. 0:20:43.910 --> 0:20:45.800 I'm into it. Yeah, absolutely. Because I'm not going to 0:20:45.859 --> 0:20:49.580 give up a dance party forever. But I just think 0:20:49.600 --> 0:20:50.660 we have to plan them well. 0:20:50.920 --> 0:20:53.650 Yeah. Okay, great. We ought to plan the next dance party. Okay. 0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:56.320 Now I want to ask you a question that I 0:20:56.440 --> 0:20:58.179 ask everyone on my show. 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:00.510 Ooh, I think I know what it is. 0:21:00.790 --> 0:21:02.440 My show is called Too Niche, where we. 0:21:02.570 --> 0:21:03.430 It's so good. 0:21:03.550 --> 0:21:05.810 I say every topic is a thrill and nothing is 0:21:05.869 --> 0:21:09.909 too niche. And so what is a niche thing that 0:21:09.930 --> 0:21:12.030 you're into right now? 0:21:12.050 --> 0:21:15.650 I am a person who carries my own salt with 0:21:15.690 --> 0:21:21.070 me everywhere I go. Not this giant tub of Maldon salt, 0:21:21.730 --> 0:21:27.060 but I keep these multiple... in kitchen storage. I keep 0:21:27.520 --> 0:21:30.240 the salt cellar full of Maldon salt. I mean, it's 0:21:30.280 --> 0:21:32.980 getting low. I need to refill it on the kitchen counter. 0:21:33.560 --> 0:21:35.780 And then I have the little, they almost look like 0:21:35.840 --> 0:21:38.500 mini sardine tins that you can pop the lid off of, 0:21:38.660 --> 0:21:42.180 of salt. One of them opened in my purse once, 0:21:42.290 --> 0:21:46.180 which was an absolute nightmare. So then, like from a 0:21:46.260 --> 0:21:48.139 fitting or something, I took one of those sort of 0:21:48.280 --> 0:21:51.460 oversized Ziploc bags that jewelry comes in, you know, the 0:21:51.500 --> 0:21:55.770 really thick ones. Yeah. And I put it in there. 0:21:56.150 --> 0:21:58.710 And then a couple of weeks later, I pulled it 0:21:58.770 --> 0:22:01.690 out of my purse at a lunch meeting and somebody's 0:22:01.890 --> 0:22:03.990 eyes like went really wide. And I was, I sort 0:22:04.010 --> 0:22:06.230 of was like, what? And I said, you know, do 0:22:06.270 --> 0:22:08.639 you want good salt? Cause you know, it's like Morton 0:22:08.660 --> 0:22:10.850 salt on the table. Gross. And they were like, oh 0:22:10.890 --> 0:22:12.399 my God, you just like pulled a baggie out of 0:22:12.410 --> 0:22:14.540 your purse. And I was like, first of all, the 0:22:14.580 --> 0:22:16.800 size of this would like, if there were drugs in here, 0:22:16.820 --> 0:22:19.220 it would kill an elephant. And secondly, like I'm an 0:22:19.240 --> 0:22:21.580 adult woman. What are we talking about? Who do you 0:22:21.600 --> 0:22:25.460 hang out with? That's like pulling whatever you're thinking this 0:22:25.600 --> 0:22:27.680 is out of a bag at a lunch meeting. Like, 0:22:27.980 --> 0:22:30.970 are people okay? And then I realized I probably need 0:22:30.990 --> 0:22:34.550 like a different purse solution for my salt. 0:22:35.930 --> 0:22:36.470 I love that. 0:22:36.970 --> 0:22:38.670 But that's my niche. A little, a niche. 0:22:38.730 --> 0:22:40.530 Salt. Did you read, have you read the book Salt? 0:22:40.710 --> 0:22:41.810 About the history of salt? 0:22:42.210 --> 0:22:43.429 I haven't. Should I? 0:22:43.570 --> 0:22:44.690 Yeah, it's really interesting. 0:22:45.050 --> 0:22:45.409 Okay. 0:22:45.550 --> 0:22:47.530 My husband, Joey, read it. So I, you know, when 0:22:48.070 --> 0:22:50.750 a partner reads something, you kind of get the recap. 0:22:51.230 --> 0:22:52.830 You get the, you get the lesson. 0:22:52.930 --> 0:22:53.909 Yeah. Yeah. 0:22:55.170 --> 0:23:07.580 And now a word from our wonderful sponsors. Wait, I 0:23:07.640 --> 0:23:10.280 want to know, because you focus on so many cool, 0:23:10.500 --> 0:23:14.699 quote unquote, niche things on your show. What's the niche 0:23:14.760 --> 0:23:16.870