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Speaker 1: Today, I fed up by making a Will Smith joke

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Speaker 1: after my kid threw up all over my wife.

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Speaker 2: Okayop, this is okay. Ope.

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Speaker 3: I'm Samuel daughter and I'm John Fry and we tell

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Speaker 3: the funniest stories on the internet.

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Speaker 1: You know, Sam there there has been a huge moment

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Speaker 1: that has happened in the recent times.

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Speaker 3: Are you referring to the Oscar slap head throughout the world? Yes,

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Speaker 3: I am referring to that exact slap crazy bro.

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Speaker 2: That was.

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Speaker 4: It was an absolute moment.

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Speaker 3: I mean I was shocked, I like, because I was

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Speaker 3: watching it live, I'm like, oh, really that just happened.

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Speaker 4: Did you see like was the audio cutout or like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, the audio was cut out. Like I didn't

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Speaker 2: hear anything. I had to go to Twitter to like see, like,

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Speaker 2: what the heck is just happening right now? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Did you think it was like a skit or that

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Speaker 1: of a skit? I thought it was a joke, yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: But then when I saw Will Smith like.

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Speaker 2: Keep my wife's name out of your No, that was okay,

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Speaker 2: maybe there's no skit here. Yeah, yeah, this is not

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Speaker 2: a skit. He was mad. Well initially though, like initially

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Speaker 2: it was fine.

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Speaker 1: I mean to me, it looked like he laughed at

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Speaker 1: the joke, but I was like, maybe that's the set,

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Speaker 1: like never delay, you know. Anyways, it was a whole situation.

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Speaker 1: But we actually have a story today that in the

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Speaker 1: reverberance of that slap was created.

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Speaker 2: Okay, let's let's hear it. Let's hear it.

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Speaker 1: Today I fed up by making a Will Smith joke

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Speaker 1: after my kids threw up all over my wife. Oh, yes,

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Speaker 1: a messy situation.

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Speaker 3: Hey, you know what, but you got you can't pull

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Speaker 3: your punches with jokes. You can't are your slaps, No,

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Speaker 3: you can't. That's the true comedy, true comedy. So this

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Speaker 3: did actually happen today. It was three a m.

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Speaker 1: This morning, and my daughter, who is one, had thrown

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Speaker 1: up late in the night before. So now we get

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Speaker 1: some context. For additional context, my wife tends to think

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Speaker 1: I am to blame whenever our kid feels nauseous because

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Speaker 1: we rough howls and I spind her around, flip her

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Speaker 1: upside down, et cetera. You know, maybe just to note

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Speaker 1: the kid thinks it's fun.

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Speaker 4: Attack.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I would agree. As a former the former one

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Speaker 3: year old, I love being tossed around.

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Speaker 1: So of course we argue when she throws up the

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Speaker 1: first time, resulting in us agreeing to disagree that I

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Speaker 1: caused it. Nice fast forward to the start of the story.

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Speaker 1: At three am, I hear from my wife, who then

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Speaker 1: asked me to turn the lights on.

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Speaker 2: Oh no. As I ask Alexa to turn on.

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Speaker 1: Our lamps, I see a sizeable amount of spewed chunks

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Speaker 1: all over my wife. Oh no, it was also all

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Speaker 1: over the pillows and the baby that was snuggled in

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Speaker 1: next to her. Not the baby, not the baby. Feeling

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Speaker 1: slightly vindicated to see that our child threw up with

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Speaker 1: no dad imposed forces upon her causing the issue, I

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Speaker 1: get up and work on changing the sheets while my

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Speaker 1: wife cleans up the baby and we get her in

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Speaker 1: a new set of pajamask rock star teamwork all around.

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Speaker 2: There we go.

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Speaker 3: We get solid parenting right there. Yeah, it's like let's

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Speaker 3: it's divide and conquer here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Our kid is somehow in a great mood despite hurling,

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Speaker 1: and we get back to bed so I can sleep

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Speaker 1: in before my one hour commute to work in three hours.

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Speaker 1: Our kid is clearly not interested in sleeping, as she

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Speaker 1: is already awake.

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Speaker 2: Babies be like that sometimes.

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Speaker 4: Babies do be like that, like, why can't you let

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Speaker 4: me sleep?

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Speaker 2: Baby? They're on their own sleep schedule, on their own schedule.

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Speaker 1: They ain't got no work to go to though, no

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Speaker 1: podcasts to do. I'm laying there, eyes closed while my

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Speaker 1: wife is working on calming her down, and I feel

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Speaker 1: a presence looming. I open one eye to see the

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Speaker 1: shadowy silhouette of my daughter standing above me, and then

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Speaker 1: she slaps me hard as she.

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Speaker 2: Can in the eye. Why.

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Speaker 1: Realizing she just went through some traumatic vomiting and the

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Speaker 1: fact that she is literally a baby, I chalked it

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Speaker 1: up to being a funny, ridiculous slap, and I thought

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Speaker 1: of the Will Smith moment from the other night.

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Speaker 4: So as I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: Oh, my eye, I say, yeah, you better leave my

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Speaker 1: wife's name out of your dang mouth, dadda. My wife

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Speaker 1: loses it and starts laughing, and then our daughter starts

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Speaker 1: laughing too. And if you have a one year old,

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Speaker 1: you know that laughing equals oh this is good.

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Speaker 4: People like this again? Oh no, oh no, you see

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Speaker 4: where this is heading.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So for the next ten to fifteen minutes, she

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Speaker 1: winds up slapping me, laughing hysterically.

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Speaker 4: Rinse and repeat over and over and over.

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Speaker 2: See.

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Speaker 3: That's actually like the worst thing because have you ever

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Speaker 3: experienced like a nut puncher kid.

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Speaker 1: I had the infamous Tat Wars of twenty eleven.

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Speaker 3: Uh yeah, like once like and also just like any

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Speaker 3: young child that anyone laughs at a nut punch, they'll

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Speaker 3: just do it again. Yeah, And then you have nut

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Speaker 3: punchers everywhere. You're at weddings that they're nut punching the groom,

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Speaker 3: they're brought nut punching the bride, they're punching everyone.

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Speaker 1: You're at a place where you like like a double

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Speaker 1: a double tap.

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Speaker 2: So mister, people laugh at it. No.

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Speaker 3: So there's there was this kid that one of our

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Speaker 3: family members and like he like will just mercilessly nut

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Speaker 3: punch everyone. And he's right at nut punching height too,

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Speaker 3: and so like a parallel punch is right at your nuts.

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Speaker 3: It's perfect and everyone laughs and so he's like it's funny,

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Speaker 3: and so we do again. But he bunch is hard,

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Speaker 3: like he's like a young Mike Tyson of the nuts.

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Speaker 3: You just can't encourage that behavior by laughing.

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Speaker 4: Just the ghost pain. Yeah, we feel it.

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Speaker 1: We stand in Ella's Ella's you feel me, you feel

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Speaker 1: me again. My baby had a rough night, so I

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Speaker 1: wasn't about to discipline her if she could milk a

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Speaker 1: few minutes of happiness out of these things, So I mean,

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Speaker 1: that's quite empathetic on the dad's side. Her unrelenting slapping

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Speaker 1: eventually ended up with my wonderful wife taking her to

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Speaker 1: the nursery to read a book for a few minutes

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Speaker 1: while she calmed down and we all got some rest. Now,

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Speaker 1: I'm hoping that she doesn't remember that slapping me in

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Speaker 1: the face causes happiness today, or I might.

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Speaker 4: Have created a monster.

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Speaker 3: Oh geez, and you very well have created a monster.

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Speaker 3: Oh definitely that positive reinforcement. That's like, you know, path

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Speaker 3: loss law exactly, but you know what is always positively

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Speaker 3: reinforcing ooh.

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Speaker 4: Subscribing to okayop.

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