Speaker 1: The nick A Gliser Podcast.
Speaker 2: O Gliser, here's Nikki. Hello, here I am It's Nicky
Speaker 2: Glazer podcast. Welcome to the show. I'm in Saint Louis, Missouri,
Speaker 2: alone in studio. My sister was maybe gonna make an
Speaker 2: appearance on this show today, but she couldn't get a babysitter.
Speaker 2: And when she floated the idea to my parents yesterday,
Speaker 2: where she was like, Nikki asks me to be on
Speaker 2: the podcast, and they were all hanging out. That's when
Speaker 2: they're supposed to go, We'll watch the kids while you
Speaker 2: do it, she said they didn't. They didn't pick up
Speaker 2: the bait. What if they brought the kids.
Speaker 3: I'm extra microphones. Wouldn't they bring What did she bring
Speaker 3: the kids?
Speaker 2: That would be such hell to listen to? It's hell
Speaker 2: to be around when you love them more than anything
Speaker 2: you've ever loved anything. So I think if you're just
Speaker 2: a podcast listener, it would truly be a hell on
Speaker 2: earth to listen to those screaming kids. It'd be cute
Speaker 2: at first and maybe interesting. We could do something with it,
Speaker 2: I believe me. It crossed my mind. But then it
Speaker 2: also crossed my mind that they would we would get
Speaker 2: in a good conversation. The kids would wander around my
Speaker 2: apartment and there would be something a very tragic image
Speaker 2: befell my brain and I don't want to go into
Speaker 2: what I thought about, but it's like I want to
Speaker 2: high rise. Okay, so a little eric a plan? Yeah,
Speaker 2: Michael Jackson, No, no, no, Michael Jackson is the best
Speaker 2: way that could end. Just a dangling baby is different
Speaker 2: than one that drops to his death. So yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 2: but you read a hit song about it. I think
Speaker 2: I never I never got why people are like he
Speaker 2: wrote a song about it, he made he profited off
Speaker 2: his kid's death. Sorry that he felt his feelings and
Speaker 2: that's what came out.
Speaker 4: I don't think it was thoms that made art.
Speaker 2: Are you supposed to just put that song up for
Speaker 2: charity to keep windows, to have better regulations for windows
Speaker 2: and high rises? Is that what you're supposed to do
Speaker 2: with that money so you don't profit off your son's death.
Speaker 4: I'm sure as soon as his son hurdle to his death,
Speaker 4: he was like, yes, another song.
Speaker 2: It just starts, Oh, that's wonderful tonight, hold on what wonderful?
Speaker 4: What if?
Speaker 2: Wonderful? Tonight was the song that was inSpot it's just
Speaker 2: a totally different song. We're like, wait, not Tears in Heaven.
Speaker 2: Like no, I just realized in that moment how much
Speaker 2: I was connected with my wife because they weren't gonna
Speaker 2: have this thing between us anymore.
Speaker 4: He's like, no, I wrote Tears and Heaven purely for
Speaker 4: the money. The other one was my kid that.
Speaker 2: Would manifest it. I actually wrote Tears in Heaven prior
Speaker 2: too such a tragic thing. But I wrote a song
Speaker 2: the other day and I started crying when I was singing.
Speaker 2: I told the girls chat Thus it's embarrassing to admit
Speaker 2: to the public, but I I just felt so. And
Speaker 2: I mean this just humorously, but it also is the
Speaker 2: first word that came to my mind when I started
Speaker 2: crying to the own thing that I was singing to
Speaker 2: myself that I had just written. I felt gay, like
Speaker 2: I felt it like the middle school definition middle school
Speaker 2: nineteen ninety seven definition of gay. And I'm not thinking
Speaker 2: about gay people when I say that, and I hope
Speaker 2: it gay people know I mean that, and I'm just
Speaker 2: using it for humor. I'm sorry if it hurt your feelings,
Speaker 2: but I just felt I felt embarrassed. But then I
Speaker 2: was talking to. But then it's so crazy because right
Speaker 2: after it happened and I was like, oh, are you
Speaker 2: crying to your little song, Nikki?
Speaker 4: Are you feeling your feelings?
Speaker 2: But I also was like I felt it and it
Speaker 2: passed through me. And then I picked up which I
Speaker 2: have right on my shelf in my kitchen actually, so
Speaker 2: that I've always put it there so someday I would
Speaker 2: just be like, I'm just gonna pick this up and
Speaker 2: read it, and I fugin did, and it's Jeff Tweeties
Speaker 2: how to Write One Song. So I was just and
Speaker 2: it's kind of a small book. It looks like a
Speaker 2: what a bathroom read, like what's of a coffee table book,
Speaker 2: but not big one that you can pick up and
Speaker 2: just like read an excerpt. And it's not like a thing.
Speaker 2: So it's it's the size of its inviting. And I
Speaker 2: just picked up went to a random chapter and I
Speaker 2: sat down in like this. I had this like circular
Speaker 2: chair in my living room that's out of place because
Speaker 2: I always pictured putting it in a nook where I
Speaker 2: would read, like into a nook of a room because
Speaker 2: it's like this big, like yeah, but it's like it's
Speaker 2: just what you would envision if you were like, because
Speaker 2: you can put your whole body on it and tuck
Speaker 2: into it. It's big circle, white and a perfect circle,
Speaker 2: and it has a and it's just small enough and
Speaker 2: you just feel like it's my two people, it's too uncomfortable,
Speaker 2: but one person it's perfect. And I always envisioned myself
Speaker 2: like having this in a kook to read, but it's
Speaker 2: always just been in the middle of my living room
Speaker 2: and no one sits on it, and we just put
Speaker 2: guitar hero on it. But I took a tar hero
Speaker 2: off and I sat in that nook and I turned
Speaker 2: it to face my balcony because sometimes I want to
Speaker 2: be on my balcony, but it's too thin. It's the tiniest,
Speaker 2: thinnest balcony you'll ever see. Walk past people. If you're
Speaker 2: walking with two people, you literally brush up against the
Speaker 2: person so that you're, oh, yeah, you got to be
Speaker 2: indoors to dangle the baby because your arms extend past
Speaker 2: the length or the width of it. Yeah, it's so
Speaker 2: I So I was like, so it was so perfect.
Speaker 2: I use the couch, I read this book. That was
Speaker 2: what I was doing at the time, and then I
Speaker 2: also put my phone on the other couch. Get out
Speaker 2: of your phone. I don't want to be distracted. I'm
Speaker 2: going to read an actual book that's not on my phone,
Speaker 2: which is very much not how I read. And then
Speaker 2: I faced it to the balcony and opened the window,
Speaker 2: you know, the sliding window, and so I'm like on
Speaker 2: the balcony, but like just outside of it, like it's
Speaker 2: right outside. A bird fly in. No the best part
Speaker 2: of it. That's Noah's nightmare. And mine would be like
Speaker 2: if a bird suddenly was attracted to me and like
Speaker 2: liked the bliss I was putting out in the world
Speaker 2: and I felt like snow white, and it like came
Speaker 2: to me and wanted to be on my arm. I
Speaker 2: would be the happiest girl in the world. And that's
Speaker 2: so funny, Noah, that that is your absolute nightmare. I
Speaker 2: want to say. I love birds. I just don't like
Speaker 2: them in enclosed spaces with me. Because the fear is
Speaker 2: the wings will This is like in the face. This
Speaker 2: is like the get your hair.
Speaker 3: It's like the chick from Love is Blind that you
Speaker 3: sent yes. So this is a common fear and I
Speaker 3: do not judge it. I was so happy to hear
Speaker 3: that someone else has this in I do wear.
Speaker 2: Poke holes in it. So what is the fear.
Speaker 3: Though, I'm okay, just like case seeing the birds slam
Speaker 3: into the ceiling and then just like drop on me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not fun either, seeing a little bird get
Speaker 2: injured and scared. It's freakish.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then it freaks out on my face.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, so there we go. So it's going to
Speaker 2: your face to freak out, and then will the it
Speaker 2: will like for me, a bird in my face. I
Speaker 2: don't want it's dander in my mouth. I don't mind
Speaker 2: the wings hitting me in the face. That seems kind
Speaker 2: of cool. I don't want the dander. Is that the
Speaker 2: freak scratches beak sharp beak in my eye, beak in
Speaker 2: your eye? Okay, that's a logical fear. Honestly that it
Speaker 2: sounds like horrible. Okay, so what happened in the story,
Speaker 2: But let me just poke a hole in it with
Speaker 2: my beak, Okay, a poke hole in your eye. Of logic,
Speaker 2: birds under duress are not going to like attack. The
Speaker 2: only way it's beak would go in your eyes by mistake,
Speaker 2: and it would probably not happen because you're gonna close
Speaker 2: your eyes in defense already, so it would be a
Speaker 2: really freakish accident to happen. And also they're gonna try
Speaker 2: to get the fuck away from you. They're never gonna
Speaker 2: fly into you. A bird that flies in your house
Speaker 2: wants nothing to do with the thing that's moving that
Speaker 2: it doesn't recognize in the enclosure with it. It's gonna
Speaker 2: go the opposite side of the room. In my in
Speaker 2: my experience of trying to catch birds in houses, which
Speaker 2: is one of my favorite activities, because I want to
Speaker 2: like get them to love me and trust me, and
Speaker 2: then I slowly can just take it out on my finger.
Speaker 2: It's never happened that way. I always had to put
Speaker 2: a blanket over it gently and then like carry it
Speaker 2: in the blanket. But I it's they do they do
Speaker 2: not want anything to do with you. But I that
Speaker 2: being said, continue your fears. It's who cares, Okay, not
Speaker 2: like you encounter it that often. It's not like I'm like, no,
Speaker 2: you gotta get inside a room with a bird. It's
Speaker 2: like no other experience. Because some fears are like that
Speaker 2: where you hear people are like scared to do something,
Speaker 2: and you go, like people who are scared of flying,
Speaker 2: You're missing out on a lot of life by doing that.
Speaker 2: And I know you say no, I take the train
Speaker 2: and I can drive. You can't get placed, you can't
Speaker 2: get you can't drive to Italy, you know, and take
Speaker 2: a boat and you're not going to You're not.
Speaker 4: Scared of the gigantic pine cones in my neighborhood I've
Speaker 4: mentioned before. Oh yeah, on the grenade sized grenade heavy,
Speaker 4: Like you're aware.
Speaker 2: Of them, so you're not going to get hit. It's
Speaker 2: probably you should be scared for other people.
Speaker 4: I'm scared. Well, I'm scared that of the one day
Speaker 4: that I don't think about. Yes, that's what happens. That's like, no,
Speaker 4: she's the one day she opens the screen in her windows.
Speaker 2: I don't think hitting, but getting hit by a pine
Speaker 2: cone that kills you instantly is the worst way to go.
Speaker 2: I think it's I put it on a list of
Speaker 2: one preferable ways for me to go because it's funny. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's memorable. Ye're crowd if you're a few old in public. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know about the crowd. I don't really want
Speaker 2: a lot of people to witness it. I'd like few witnesses,
Speaker 2: so I'd like the story to take on a tale
Speaker 2: of its own because there's such few witnesses, So I'd
Speaker 2: like it to become the stuff of lore and then
Speaker 2: it gets spread around and then my death is like almost. Uh.
Speaker 2: There's some people who's you only know about because they died.
Speaker 2: I e. Eric Clefton's son. I bet he'd be We
Speaker 2: wouldn't know who he is now maybe we would, who knows?
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. It's just like some people
Speaker 2: become immortalized by their death. Yeah, WHOA Like I'm trying
Speaker 2: to think of Well, I just follow a lot of
Speaker 2: accounts on Reddit. Maybe people wouldn't. This wouldn't come to
Speaker 2: mind for you, this kind of thought of like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: I know that person because they died, but I have
Speaker 2: you know, the Falling Man on nine to eleven, Like
Speaker 2: that person's famous, even though they didn't weren't able to
Speaker 2: identify it. The dust Woman on nine to eleven.
Speaker 4: Well, the falling picture. The Falling Man on nine to
Speaker 4: eleven invented the snuggie, so he would have been remembered.
Speaker 4: That was the same guy.
Speaker 2: Wait, the Snuggy pre dated nine to eleven so much,
Speaker 2: and the Falling Man certainly did not survive.
Speaker 4: That the falling man invented the snuggie and now and
Speaker 4: then he'd fell out a nine to eleven famously.
Speaker 2: Oh he so he dropped the glans for the snuggie
Speaker 2: and then someone found those plans twenty twenty years later,
Speaker 2: fifteen years later.
Speaker 4: Yeah, pretty much. Well what about the guy who invented
Speaker 4: the what's that thing you ride on with the tours?
Speaker 4: And he fell off? Uh oh seg Yeah, the guy
Speaker 4: who meanted fell off a cliff on the segue. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's pretty funny.
Speaker 2: That was That was really funny. What are other funny
Speaker 2: ways that you just go? Not funny, but like I
Speaker 2: just want it to be oh stink I mean Steve Irwin.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that's ironic. Well it's not ironic, it's expected,
Speaker 4: like that's the way he was gonna go.
Speaker 2: Yet it isn't ironic. You're right. It wouldn't go in
Speaker 2: that Alanis mooreset song. Yeah, because it's ironic in the
Speaker 2: sense that, like the things he attacked ended up attacking him.
Speaker 2: I guess that's ironic, but he.
Speaker 4: It would go in the Alantis Morris set song because
Speaker 4: the Alantis morrisset song is famously not ironic.
Speaker 2: No, I think those ones past the test. Let's go
Speaker 2: through them. It's like ten thousand spoons when all you
Speaker 2: needed is a knife. Very ironic. It's like meeting the
Speaker 2: man out of your dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife.
Speaker 2: Not ironic, No, not ironic.
Speaker 4: What about this? You you're a die aetition and you
Speaker 4: die by a vending machine falling on you. Ironic, that's ironic.
Speaker 2: What if you're an old man who turns ninety eight,
Speaker 2: you win the lottery and then you die the next day? Ummmm,
Speaker 2: you play the lottery every day.
Speaker 4: If you're a guy, if it's ironic, if if you're nine,
Speaker 4: just I think, if you're ninety eight and then you
Speaker 4: win the lottery and then you die, that's just bad luck.
Speaker 4: It would be irony. If you said I'm never going
Speaker 4: to play the lottery of my entire life, and then
Speaker 4: on your ninety eighth birthday for the first time, you
Speaker 4: play and you win and then you die. Maybe that's ironic.
Speaker 2: Or if you say, yeah, the next day, I'm going
Speaker 2: to quit my job and then life quits you or
Speaker 2: said made some stock, or but if you played the
Speaker 2: lottery every day and then you you win on the
Speaker 2: day right before you die, That is, to me, is ironic.
Speaker 2: But if it's just like, oh, a random guy plays
Speaker 2: the lottery at ninety eight and he does next day,
Speaker 2: it's a little iron I don't know who's to be
Speaker 2: the judge of this, certainly not me, an English major
Speaker 2: who never won book her entire college career but somehow
Speaker 2: got a major in English.
Speaker 3: So talk about when you did read the book on
Speaker 3: the couch, because that's where we are.
Speaker 2: So then, okay, thank you, Noah. So I'm no birds
Speaker 2: fly in unfortunately, and I'm reading this chapter and Jeff Tweety,
Speaker 2: who wrote the book How to Write One Song, and
Speaker 2: it's such a good book. It literally is talking to
Speaker 2: you like you're like you could be any level of
Speaker 2: musician and you'd get something from this. Like I felt
Speaker 2: really seen as someone who was like really scared to
Speaker 2: write a song. And anyway, I had read half of it,
Speaker 2: but I didn't finish it because I wasn't ready to
Speaker 2: write a song and I didn't want to fail the book.
Speaker 2: So that was ages ago. So I picked it up
Speaker 2: and just went to a chapter that I hadn't read yet,
Speaker 2: and it was about how sometimes you'll write lyrics and
Speaker 2: or he you know, I'm reading and reading, and then
Speaker 2: he says, sometimes I write a lyric that will make
Speaker 2: me cry, and it doesn't happen that often, but sometimes
Speaker 2: I like, I figure out how I feel about something
Speaker 2: while I'm writing it. And he was like, and those
Speaker 2: are the moments that make me want to write this
Speaker 2: book because I want everyone to have that feeling, because
Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, you're not an artist in that way,
Speaker 2: like I had never I've never cried a joke I
Speaker 2: wrote because I was like, oh my god, I do
Speaker 2: love them or what you know, and I will miss
Speaker 2: them when they're dead. Like no joke has ever made
Speaker 2: me like feel my feelings. Really it's anything to push
Speaker 2: them away.
Speaker 4: Because I've never read a joke it makes you laugh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a feeling.
Speaker 4: I guess that's how you know it's a good joke,
Speaker 4: or that at least you'll like it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or anger. It makes the anger that I have
Speaker 2: about the subject is funny, Yeah, because I get then
Speaker 2: being angry, as Brian and I both partaken. When we
Speaker 2: get angrier, it gets people tend to laugh harder.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, right. That's been the hardest thing for me
Speaker 4: is to recognize, like you get so caught up in
Speaker 4: the fucking algorithm and what does the fucking algorithm want
Speaker 4: that you lose sight of the fact that if it
Speaker 4: makes you laugh, if it makes you feel something, then
Speaker 4: it's worth putting out there. It's a difficult think they remember.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 2: That's the hard one is like, but sometimes I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't laugh at everything I do, but I think
Speaker 2: I see other people laugh at it, and I go, oh,
Speaker 2: there's some value here, Like I I do trust other
Speaker 2: people think, like know what's funny, and I don't. Sometimes
Speaker 2: because there's sometimes where I'm like, I don't like that
Speaker 2: joke at all, but people laugh and I keep doing
Speaker 2: it even though it doesn't make me laugh. I'm like
Speaker 2: it bring it's obviously clicking for people, and I did
Speaker 2: think of it, so there's some part of me that
Speaker 2: did think it was funny and initially.
Speaker 4: No, that's true too. Sometimes that happens where where I'm like,
Speaker 4: you think this is funny, and it's like, I guess
Speaker 4: it's my best joke. Now I don't know.
Speaker 2: Well, sometimes they laugh and you don't. You don't know
Speaker 2: you're being funny. Like I will say something and I'll
Speaker 2: literally like I'll like, well, why do you guys all laugh?
Speaker 2: And they'll all laugh in a way that it's like
Speaker 2: one of my like a closer. I'm like, it's like
Speaker 2: I had control over them to do that. They kind
Speaker 2: of laugh where you're like boom, I know this and
Speaker 2: they all light up. It's like that kind of laugh
Speaker 2: and you're like, what the fuck did I just reveal
Speaker 2: about myself? Resonated? Why was that funny? And sometimes I
Speaker 2: can catch it, but so bad at going back and
Speaker 2: listening to myself. Like this weekend, I was riffing, and
Speaker 2: I was like, I said, I had a really fun
Speaker 2: riff and what is it? I'll share it? And well,
Speaker 2: I had two. I had grand Rapids was so fun.
Speaker 2: I riffed. I was rift central and I was like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, this is like I mean, maybe I'm
Speaker 2: the I just don't riff on stage that much, so
Speaker 2: anything new will always kill. I actually have to experiment
Speaker 2: with it more. But it just felt like the idea
Speaker 2: of it being new was so fun in the way
Speaker 2: I was. I was excited to tell it's it's a
Speaker 2: joke about scratching your dog and like make like when
Speaker 2: you scratch your dog. I think I've talked about it
Speaker 2: on the podcast maybe and it looks like you're making
Speaker 2: them come like when they get that, like there were tails,
Speaker 2: their foot starts shaking, and they're like, it's just like
Speaker 2: we're just all as a family gathered around being like,
Speaker 2: look at her, calm, like jet that's something. It's just
Speaker 2: kind of weird that we do that, because there's no difference,
Speaker 2: truly no difference. So I was working that out and
Speaker 2: then I had some other thoughts about stuff that are
Speaker 2: really fun. But then I had this riff that I
Speaker 2: had not planned the next night about oh. I just
Speaker 2: for some reason, in the middle of telling a joke
Speaker 2: about OH, I was talking about getting comed in. Of course, naturally,
Speaker 2: I was talking about how it feels good to have
Speaker 2: to get comd in. It like literally does feel good.
Speaker 2: It's it feels satisfying in some way that most men
Speaker 2: will never understand, and but it does feel good, and
Speaker 2: it's less clean up. And I was talking about that
Speaker 2: if you stay horizontal, you don't have to clean it
Speaker 2: up till the morning, you know, And and I was like,
Speaker 2: you'll have a raging uti, but you will have you know,
Speaker 2: staved off having to clean up. Yeah, you get to
Speaker 2: go to sleep, because then I go. I just stopped
Speaker 2: and I was like, wait, does everyone here know that
Speaker 2: if you don't pee after sex, you have like an
Speaker 2: eighty percent chance of getting a UTI, like a woman
Speaker 2: has to. Yeah, I don't know if it's at a
Speaker 2: certain age, but for me, and that is like I
Speaker 2: I would never skip peeing after sex ever, ever, ever, uh,
Speaker 2: because it is just too risky. No, do you agree
Speaker 2: with me on this?
Speaker 3: I agree with you, But from personal experience, I have
Speaker 3: not gotten a UTI because up after sex because I
Speaker 3: did not pee after sex.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to go to sleep, and you did
Speaker 2: not get into uti. No, but I I've only gotten
Speaker 2: might be in that twenty percent. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah,
Speaker 2: every time one uti my whole life, I'd never got them,
Speaker 2: and I had friends that would get them chronically, and
Speaker 2: then I had and I was really proud of myself,
Speaker 2: like I must be a better woman. My my pH
Speaker 2: bolence must be like on point cause it's like it's
Speaker 2: like a it's kind of yeasty. I think when you
Speaker 2: get a UTI, it's just a bacterial infection. Anyways, when
Speaker 2: you're not better, get a little way lots, something happens
Speaker 2: that makes you feel like you have to go pee. Ladies,
Speaker 2: it will happen to you at some point. You will go,
Speaker 2: what is this. I have to pee but I can't
Speaker 2: pee and I maybe have to shit to and it
Speaker 2: all feels clogged up and feels dirty down there, and
Speaker 2: there might be an odor, and you're just like, what
Speaker 2: the fuck. It's a UTI and you have to go
Speaker 2: to fucking urgent care because there's nothing over the counter.
Speaker 2: So what it does is just inconvenience your fucking life
Speaker 2: because you got to go to urgent care. You gotta
Speaker 2: sign up, and you gotta watch what number you are
Speaker 2: on the urgent care so you can show up right before.
Speaker 2: AZO doesn't do shit, which once it's.
Speaker 4: Locked, it gets it. It reduces your symptoms. I've heard.
Speaker 2: Okay, I understand that, but it's not gonna treat it
Speaker 2: like you have a bacterial infection you need. That's just
Speaker 2: gonna like you have to go to the urgent care
Speaker 2: at some point.
Speaker 4: You would never have a.
Speaker 3: Doctor's friend for me my ut I have. The only
Speaker 3: one that I got when I was like thirteen or
Speaker 3: fourteen was because of antibiotics.
Speaker 2: Is that ironic? Wow?
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's ironic. That's in the song.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is put it in the song Let's call Atlantis.
Speaker 2: But I just was like, do does everyone here know
Speaker 2: that we have to do that? And I guess men
Speaker 2: I'd have to do it as well. But women were
Speaker 2: really just there's too much mixing around on there, and
Speaker 2: you gotta flush it out right after you have sex
Speaker 2: to get all the mouth stuff. There's there's fingers and
Speaker 2: mouths and just get it out of that ureathroat hamster
Speaker 2: and then not for the hamster it But I said,
Speaker 2: unless you have a partner who you can pee on
Speaker 2: during sex, and then that would then you get it out.
Speaker 2: I mean you maybe have a little but like or
Speaker 2: something about like oh no, I said that. It was
Speaker 2: a riff about That's why I date guys that like
Speaker 2: to pee on me because it reminds me to pee.
Speaker 2: They're peeing in my mouth so they can come and
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh yeah, I gotta remember to peep for this.
Speaker 2: Like I like the idea of girl, a girl having
Speaker 2: something heinous done to her and she's like, thanks for
Speaker 2: the reminder. It made me laugh a lot, and I
Speaker 2: even it didn't even do that well, but it was
Speaker 2: so funny to me that. I was like, someone write
Speaker 2: that down. It's just like what an artist someone write down.
Speaker 2: Peeing in your guy, peeing in your mouth reminds you
Speaker 2: to pee after sex. Yeah, and I said that out
Speaker 2: loud inside a uh, you know, theater that's mainly meant
Speaker 2: for orchestral performances because I'm an artist. Okay, let's go
Speaker 2: to break. Come see us this weekend in Cincinnati and
Speaker 2: in Gary, Indiana. That's Friday night and Saturday night, Gary first,
Speaker 2: and then Cincinnati is gonna be great shows. And then
Speaker 2: a bunch a bunch of tour dates coming up this
Speaker 2: summer just announced. Just go to Nikki Glazer dot com
Speaker 2: and you can check those tour dates and come see me.
Speaker 2: The shows have been so fun, it's gonna be a
Speaker 2: big uh. It's gonna be a big, fun summer of touring.
Speaker 2: So I want you to be a part of it, busties,
Speaker 2: and I will see you there and we'll be back
Speaker 2: after this. All right, we're back. So before the show began,
Speaker 2: Brian and I were chit chatting about what did you say,
Speaker 2: shadow people?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I well shadow people. We got into the
Speaker 4: ghosts for a second there. Yeah, And then I said
Speaker 4: while we were talking. You were talking about your mind surgery. Yeah,
Speaker 4: my mom had to get eye led surgery so she
Speaker 4: could see better.
Speaker 2: Yes, so she she got like a blethoroplasty, which is
Speaker 2: what I've probably determined she got, which is like where
Speaker 2: they take skin out of your eyelids because they get
Speaker 2: so droopy. But this his mom could not see because
Speaker 2: her eyelids were being pressed down by all the skin
Speaker 2: and gravity and age, and that is wild. So she
Speaker 2: had to do it just so she could see better.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I can't. I didn't even notice. I couldn't
Speaker 4: even tell.
Speaker 2: Brian didn't notice.
Speaker 4: And she looks fair.
Speaker 2: To be fair, you don't look people in their eyes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, not really.
Speaker 2: I mean it's I kind of don't either. So I
Speaker 2: look at people's mouths a lot, and their shoulder and stuffy.
Speaker 4: I look away. When I am in a deep conversation
Speaker 4: with someone, I look away.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess I noticed that about you. But I
Speaker 2: think I might as well, or or I probably do.
Speaker 2: If you look away, I probably take it as a
Speaker 2: side I shouldn't be just staring at this person's eyes,
Speaker 2: so like I naturally look away, but it wouldn't be
Speaker 2: I don't. Yeah, but that's that's probably why you didn't know.
Speaker 4: Times I'm making eye contact with somebody while I'm talking
Speaker 4: to them, and I feel like I'm being rude, Like
Speaker 4: does this person want me to be drilling into their face?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: Well, they can always look away, and then then you
Speaker 2: can know.
Speaker 4: That you can't because then you lose the battle.
Speaker 2: Well, then yes, that person should feel threats that you
Speaker 2: say me searing as this person isn't this rude? And oh,
Speaker 2: Brian just look away? Well, then I would lose the battle. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you're engaging in battle with someone who doesn't know they're
Speaker 2: in battle. That is rude.
Speaker 4: I'd like it, that's what you think. Me. Do you
Speaker 4: have any whole wheat bread? And then they look away
Speaker 4: because they work at Trader Joe's. Yeah, you're a cook.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hate eye contact. Could be so it's too much, dude,
Speaker 2: I don't. I can't.
Speaker 4: I really can't do it for very long. I really
Speaker 4: like no.
Speaker 2: I think I'm the same way, and I feel seen
Speaker 2: and I start to feel like I'm falling in love
Speaker 2: and I don't want to do that with my optometrist.
Speaker 2: But that's when you gotta you look like in their eye,
Speaker 2: their eye is looking in your eye, like two inches
Speaker 2: from your eye. I mean you can't see it, so
Speaker 2: it doesn't feel as intense, but there's a vibe.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I wish I would live in Japan because in
Speaker 4: Japan you're not supposed to look people in the eye.
Speaker 4: It's different. You have to show defference.
Speaker 2: Oh that's interesting. I don't think I knew that about.
Speaker 4: I don't even think I know that there's just a
Speaker 4: baby making, but I do remember, I do. I think
Speaker 4: it's a thing.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, well we were talking about his mom probably
Speaker 2: not being able to see I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: now she's can see a whole new world. And I
Speaker 2: was like, what's something on your periphery that like you
Speaker 2: go through life, if you didn't have peripheral vision, you
Speaker 2: just like wouldn't know it's there. And uh, Brian said, ghosts. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I love that ghost just hang like right.
Speaker 4: Here, but they do.
Speaker 2: They're called if you're fast enough, you can catch them.
Speaker 4: There's something type of ghosts called shadow people, and they.
Speaker 2: Go, they're it. That's there. There's a peripheral ghost and
Speaker 2: it's called shadow people.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that you can only see them in your periphery
Speaker 4: and they're not really go there like interdimensional beings, and
Speaker 4: a lot of people claim that they see them in
Speaker 4: their periphery and we don't really know where they came
Speaker 4: from or what they are, but they can only be
Speaker 4: seen in that way.
Speaker 2: I feel bad for people who truly believe these things
Speaker 2: are going on, because if they are true, they it's
Speaker 2: so annoying that no one believes you. And also, you know,
Speaker 2: it sounds crazy, but you feel it's so real that
Speaker 2: you can't, Like, what would you do if some you
Speaker 2: believed something insane and no one else believed it, you know,
Speaker 2: like it would suck. But that I was listening to
Speaker 2: the beginning of a podcast about alien abductions and how
Speaker 2: they started in nineteen forty something, maybe into the sixties
Speaker 2: around there, within those two decades, and then they kind
Speaker 2: of stopped in like right with the advent of the smartphone.
Speaker 2: So like reports of alien abduction just like went away
Speaker 2: when people started being able to like film stuff. And
Speaker 2: I don't know the connection there, but that's what the
Speaker 2: hosts kind of surmise from the timeline is maybe smartphones
Speaker 2: made it go away, but it was something that people
Speaker 2: didn't claim to have happened to them until other they
Speaker 2: heard stories of other people doing it. So there's a big,
Speaker 2: samous story about an alien reduction and then all of
Speaker 2: a sudden everyone's like, I was abducted. But also maybe
Speaker 2: they didn't know what happened to them until they heard
Speaker 2: someone else did, and then that made them come forward.
Speaker 2: Who knows.
Speaker 4: There was also a lot there's also trending different types
Speaker 4: of aliens abducting people, Like in the seventies there were
Speaker 4: a lot of aliens who were obsessed with preventing the
Speaker 4: world from being destroyed in nuclear apocalypse, which, okay, all
Speaker 4: like that makes it.
Speaker 2: The seventies were about yeah it's.
Speaker 4: Cold War, yeah yeah, And a lot of the aliens
Speaker 4: in the seventies were these Nordic, beautiful white men and
Speaker 4: women who had come down. Instead of looking like the
Speaker 4: typical gray extraterrestrials, they were like humanoid. They were called Nordics,
Speaker 4: and that was a lot of the seventies. And they
Speaker 4: come down and they fuck you, and you'd fuck them
Speaker 4: and everything with great and they'd say, by the way,
Speaker 4: we got to stop Gorbachev.
Speaker 2: In the middle of an alien gang bang. Yes, wait
Speaker 2: aes I get so they would fuck you, So what
Speaker 2: happened to the Where are the ones that look the
Speaker 2: head have heads like guitar picks.
Speaker 4: Yeah, those are good.
Speaker 2: Those come in.
Speaker 4: Those are grays. Those were the ogs. I have a
Speaker 4: theory about the gray aliens, and that is when I
Speaker 4: think people who say they were abducted by gray will begin.
Speaker 2: Can you just give your let besties know that you
Speaker 2: are very knowledgeable about the subject and why?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, well, I had a podcast called The Unbelievable
Speaker 4: Podcast from uh twenty eleven to twenty eighteen that was
Speaker 4: all about the years. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Tim Dillon was a co host the Psyche.
Speaker 4: For one year. He was the co host. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 4: it was a long time. It was pretty popular, but ultimately,
Speaker 4: ultimately it was we stopped because it was a lot
Speaker 4: of work for me. It was a lot of research,
Speaker 4: a lot of clip getting, and I was just like,
Speaker 4: I can't spend twenty hours a week doing research for
Speaker 4: this podcast. Even though I loved the podcast and I
Speaker 4: loved all the unbelievers were the names of our listeners
Speaker 4: cool and uh yes, miss I missed the podcast boom.
Speaker 4: I stopped it in twenty eighteen, and then I wonder
Speaker 4: what would have happened if I kept going through COVID.
Speaker 2: Hmmm.
Speaker 4: At the same time, I'm glad I stopped when I did,
Speaker 4: because I stopped pretty much when conspiracy theories started getting
Speaker 4: not fun anymore. Oh, like they were just all racist.
Speaker 4: It was just like there was there was nothing. It
Speaker 4: was no longer like is Bigfoot reel? It was more like,
Speaker 4: are the Jews behind your right?
Speaker 2: That did take off? Let's get back to the Nordic
Speaker 2: aliens fucking us away from pedophiles in pizza joints.
Speaker 4: So my theory about gray aliens is I believe that
Speaker 4: that is a psychological phenomenon of people re experiencing their trauma,
Speaker 4: perhaps in a lucid sleep state or just having a
Speaker 4: PTSD style traumatic re experiencing a trauma, and a lot
Speaker 4: of the trauma comes from childhood, when you're a baby.
Speaker 4: Perhaps I believe a lot of people who claim that
Speaker 4: they were abducted by gray aliens are re experiencing a
Speaker 4: molestation from when they were when they were maybe even
Speaker 4: a baby or a kid. And the reason why the
Speaker 4: ale and that's why a lot of aliens will do
Speaker 4: anal probing. They'll take you up into their ship. You'll
Speaker 4: be they're touching you and The reason why gray aliens
Speaker 4: look like they do is because when you're a baby
Speaker 4: and your perception, yeah, it's just a gray, fuzzy thing,
Speaker 4: big black eyes. This is just what a baby perceives
Speaker 4: a person.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Brian, this is probably pretty pretty good.
Speaker 4: SERI I like that. Yeah. So I believe all the
Speaker 4: people that are certain that they have been abducted by
Speaker 4: gray aliens, a lot of them are probably just reliving
Speaker 4: their molestation trauma from childhood. I'm not saying it's all
Speaker 4: of them. There's also a lot of them who just
Speaker 4: want to make money or just want attention. But the
Speaker 4: reason I think that's why the great I think it's
Speaker 4: a real phenomenon. I think that the people who are
Speaker 4: thinking that they were abducted by gray aliens actually do
Speaker 4: see that and believe it and believe it's happening.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, But it's just like some of the psychosomatic pains.
Speaker 4: It's like your brain.
Speaker 2: Doesn't mean it didn't happen to you because you're experiencing
Speaker 2: it like it did. So I'm not taking that away
Speaker 2: from you that it was terrifying and that you literally
Speaker 2: think you were abducted by aliens and you feel but
Speaker 2: it might not be that, but that doesn't take anything
Speaker 2: from your experience. Yeah, I mean people don't like to
Speaker 2: feel like they're crazy. People think they're crazy because but
Speaker 2: it's crazy. Is like, it's not your fault. Your brain's
Speaker 2: just doing something weird to help you cope. Potentially, if
Speaker 2: you're theory so weird, it's protective I think, mm hmmm, yeah,
Speaker 2: to oh, to make it feel like it's so you
Speaker 2: don't have to think of it's your dad.
Speaker 3: Or your uncle or what may, or maybe to help
Speaker 3: you make sense of it for closure.
Speaker 4: Or it truly is like a disorder, Like if you're
Speaker 4: just hearing voices in your head and you say that
Speaker 4: it's Satan talking to you, like you need to get
Speaker 4: like medicated for that.
Speaker 2: That's why I asked you if you knew about gang stalking.
Speaker 4: And oh, yeah, what's that?
Speaker 2: Really creeped me out. I found it through Reddit and someone,
Speaker 2: you know, someone just had commented in another reddit like
Speaker 2: sounds like gang stocking, and I like, went to the
Speaker 2: subreddit and it's for people who feel it's it's there's
Speaker 2: a let me just read it. Gang Stocking or group
Speaker 2: stalking is a set of persecutor persecutor persecutory beliefs sorry,
Speaker 2: in which those affected believe they are being followed, stalked,
Speaker 2: and harassed by a large number of people. The term
Speaker 2: is associated with targeted individual ti uh oh boy, do
Speaker 2: you know what that is? Oh, you can stalk whatever
Speaker 2: you like. Okay, So online communities, yeah. A twenty sixteen
Speaker 2: year Times article estimated that more than ten thousand people
Speaker 2: were participating in nonline communities organized around the conviction that
Speaker 2: it's members are victims of a sprawling conspiracy to harass
Speaker 2: thousands of every day of Americans with mind control weapons
Speaker 2: and armies of so called gang stokers. So if you
Speaker 2: go to the gang stoker or subreddit, it's just people's
Speaker 2: being like, people are following me and this is what
Speaker 2: happened to me today. And the guy in the striped
Speaker 2: shirt was like, it's just people feeling like they're being
Speaker 2: Truman showed a little bit, but also harassed and like
Speaker 2: really fucked with.
Speaker 4: And is that different from paranoid schizophrenia?
Speaker 2: That's what people think it is, is like people suffering
Speaker 2: with that, or people suffering from drug like symptoms like
Speaker 2: meth symptoms or sleeplessness or just you know, yeah, it's
Speaker 2: just but they all agree, and they it's kind of
Speaker 2: cute that they all have this community where they do
Speaker 2: believe that their whole life is being monitored and they're
Speaker 2: being stalked, and it's like, it's nice that they have
Speaker 2: a way to connect. It's like Orange theory, m h.
Speaker 2: It's like a community. It builds community that you're chasing
Speaker 2: or you're being chased. I mean, I guess you're chasing
Speaker 2: goals and orange theory, but yeah, it's just like it's
Speaker 2: I sometimes like whenever gang stalking comes up on Reddit,
Speaker 2: because people make fun of it, you know, in the comments,
Speaker 2: I always go and check out what they're talking about,
Speaker 2: and then sometimes I get a little scared because they
Speaker 2: sometimes like it would be terrifying to live this way.
Speaker 2: So I actually I have empathy for them. I'm not
Speaker 2: like just making fun of them. I feel like, really
Speaker 2: sad that that would be horrible to think that you
Speaker 2: were your life was trim and show.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and but I've had.
Speaker 2: People that friends with bipolar believe some wild stuff, and
Speaker 2: I guess I've believed some wild stuff in my mental
Speaker 2: illness journey along the way. Then I'm just like, what
Speaker 2: were you thinking? But I always felt like I had
Speaker 2: a control over it. You know. I never felt out
Speaker 2: of control of my mind or body too much except
Speaker 2: when I drank maybe, And that's why I quit doing that,
Speaker 2: because that's when you That's truly an saying that we
Speaker 2: get blackout drunk and we just send our blackout selves.
Speaker 2: It's like sending. It's a show where they send a
Speaker 2: toddler out to get groceries. The Japanese show that's what
Speaker 2: you do when you get It's called like I Forget.
Speaker 2: It was a hit on Netflix for a bit, but
Speaker 2: they send like a three year old and they monitor
Speaker 2: it closely, but it just like goes out to get
Speaker 2: to do a task into the city and they just
Speaker 2: follow it. That's what you do when you get blackout drunk.
Speaker 2: You just are like, all right, let's just see what happens.
Speaker 2: I loved it. I loved it so much. Why did
Speaker 2: I like it? See that's fucked up that I liked it?
Speaker 2: M Yeah, like, how do you even? I mean you like, remember, oh,
Speaker 2: I would just say to my friends, let's get blackout,
Speaker 2: Like I liked blacking out so much?
Speaker 3: So you liked Did you like the Journey to Blackout
Speaker 3: or did you knowing that you are blacked out.
Speaker 2: I guess I liked the journey to blacking out because
Speaker 2: it would always just involve like dancing and being loud
Speaker 2: and like confident and like just happy literally just happy,
Speaker 2: you know, like excited about life, no worries. And then
Speaker 2: the black out part, I guess was just I liked
Speaker 2: that because it was risky. I guess they're risky.
Speaker 4: It was risky.
Speaker 2: It was there's a little part of it when I'm
Speaker 2: going back and remembering, like, Okay, we're gonna get blackout tonight.
Speaker 2: It was a little bit like shoplifting, like I'll get
Speaker 2: away with it. I'll probably survive and get through, but
Speaker 2: it's not gonna it's gonna feel it's risky, like will
Speaker 2: you what's gonna happen tonight? What are you ben? Where
Speaker 2: are you gonna end up? When?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 2: When your eyes open tomorrow? Where will you be? You
Speaker 2: don't know you're sending yourself out blindly?
Speaker 3: Did you have any friend who would bring you home?
Speaker 3: I mean, how did you get a blackout?
Speaker 2: I would say, let's get blackout, meaning everyone blackout tonight.
Speaker 2: You never drank like that, nah, I did.
Speaker 3: But I always knew who was going to drive me home.
Speaker 2: Good for you, even though from New York City. Though
Speaker 2: it was like, we'll just take a cab or something,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I have been in a cab. But like
Speaker 3: you know, I guess when you're at the end of
Speaker 3: the night, when you're blackout and you you're in a
Speaker 3: cab with a stranger, something like works extra in your brain,
Speaker 3: Like you can't fall asleep, you have to make sure
Speaker 3: you get home.
Speaker 2: Yeah, something, but it feels like at some point you're
Speaker 2: so drunk there's nothing that any nothing, there's no saving you,
Speaker 2: like it's it. I loved John Mulaney's joke about how
Speaker 2: he would black out. I really related to it, and
Speaker 2: I loved that he wrote it because I felt so
Speaker 2: alone with this. But I would black out after like
Speaker 2: three beers because my body just but I knew what
Speaker 2: was happening because I had heard them malany joke before
Speaker 2: this started happening to me. You know, this is after
Speaker 2: drinking for years. But I would take like a couple
Speaker 2: of beers and then but he said, his doctor said,
Speaker 2: He's like, why do I black out after a couple
Speaker 2: of drinks? And his uh, doctor said, because your body
Speaker 2: like knows where this is going it like never doesn't
Speaker 2: go that way. So it's just it's like they're shutting
Speaker 2: down early. And I was like, oh my god, like
Speaker 2: lights out, Like let's just shut it, like we know
Speaker 2: we're closing, no more customers are coming in, let's just
Speaker 2: shut it down. And so I really related to that,
Speaker 2: and that's kind of helped me know I had a problem.
Speaker 2: Comedy can heal you.
Speaker 4: I used to do that at the deli that I
Speaker 4: worked at. I worked at a deli when I was
Speaker 4: for a long time, and sometimes it would be like
Speaker 4: the deli's closing at nine, and I would lock the
Speaker 4: door at like seven thirty and turn off the lights,
Speaker 4: and then people would come up and it would be
Speaker 4: so mad because they're like that focus.
Speaker 2: It's not even people don't know that small businesses like
Speaker 2: they can set their own hours. There's no law that
Speaker 2: makes it so they have to be open. But when
Speaker 2: you are a customer, you just feel like you.
Speaker 4: Said you would be Yeah, well, to be fair, the
Speaker 4: owner of the delhi wanted it to be open.
Speaker 2: But I mean, let's just say you're a man who
Speaker 2: owns the deli and you wanted to disclose early that night.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it happens in small towns, like you're you're
Speaker 4: all on the Delhi, but you're also the fire Marshal
Speaker 4: and it's like, well, I gotta close down the deli
Speaker 4: to go.
Speaker 2: But it is is so enraging when you are a
Speaker 2: person who is, oh my god, going to a restaurant
Speaker 2: or something, or like you just feel so entitled, Like
Speaker 2: but Google said, and it's like what entitles you to
Speaker 2: this business right now? It's like it's uh, yeah, so
Speaker 2: gangs talking. Yeah, that is an interesting subreddit and really
Speaker 2: opened my eyes to a world I didn't know and
Speaker 2: so did. I'm just opening my eyes to so many
Speaker 2: new subcultures. Orange Theory. I mean, I feel bad that
Speaker 2: I like I felt like I would bad mouth THEMB
Speaker 2: in some way or made fun of them yesterday. I
Speaker 2: want to be clear, like I even went. I told
Speaker 2: my plates instructor about going to Orange Theory and she
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I thought you were gonna love it.
Speaker 2: She was like, I love it. So it's something that
Speaker 2: pilates instructors do love ones that are so I'm not
Speaker 2: making fun. It's not a bad workout. It actually is good.
Speaker 2: Just wasn't for me because I just I don't need that.
Speaker 2: I don't. It's too loud. The music's too loud, and
Speaker 2: the guy talking is too loud. And I'm a little
Speaker 2: sensitive sound bitch. Lately, if I wore I if I
Speaker 2: went back, I would wear earplugs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know what's been loud lately that I
Speaker 4: really am mad at is the airplane speakers. Like when
Speaker 4: they why is that so loud and piercing?
Speaker 2: Thank you good things? It's one out of ten is
Speaker 2: truly causing damage to people's ear drums if they are
Speaker 2: within five feet of that thing, like the people seated
Speaker 2: closest to the speakers are in Hell, it's not okay.
Speaker 2: And you are such an asshole for talking way more
Speaker 2: than you need to. I've been saying it for years,
Speaker 2: but no one, no one needs to know the speed
Speaker 2: of the wind.
Speaker 1: In the city you're landing in. No one's ever felt
Speaker 1: been interested in that unless it's like sixty mile an
Speaker 1: hour winds. We don't give a shit that the or
Speaker 1: what direction the wind.
Speaker 2: Is coming from. Yeah, why do we have that information?
Speaker 2: Why why don't you tell us where we can pick
Speaker 2: up an uber when we get it, because there are
Speaker 2: no signs that I feel so bad for anyone who's
Speaker 2: like sending their parents to a new city to figure
Speaker 2: out where the ride share is to get their uber X.
Speaker 2: I am an experienced uber finder, and airports leave you
Speaker 2: high and dry. There's no one around. There's no one
Speaker 2: to ask for help. If there's anyone working in a
Speaker 2: baggage claim, it's these two ladies that are trying to
Speaker 2: get you to go Mormon. There's no there's no help desk,
Speaker 2: there isn't or you have to talk to anyone. You
Speaker 2: have to go into one of the offices, and there
Speaker 2: are already people lined up because they're back. There's just
Speaker 2: no one around, and it is so hard to find.
Speaker 2: If you are in charge of the layout of an airport,
Speaker 2: did you all get together and decide that we are
Speaker 2: going to make so few signs about it. We don't
Speaker 2: want them to find it. What is in it for
Speaker 2: you to not have people find you?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 4: La exit? Can you imagine an lax It just says
Speaker 4: la exit, which isn't a word.
Speaker 2: If you imagine that they tried to brand it and
Speaker 2: make a special exit that is that makes no sense.
Speaker 4: Can you imagine you're from a foreign country and you
Speaker 4: land in lax and you're trying to find an uber
Speaker 4: or a way to get around La Exit. It's not
Speaker 4: even something that you can look up what it means.
Speaker 2: Confusing. I'm not kidding you, like I get. I just
Speaker 2: get sad when I struggle to find these ride chairs.
Speaker 2: I always just think about my mom landing in the
Speaker 2: city by herself for like a girl's trip or something,
Speaker 2: and how it would add like an hour to her
Speaker 2: already struggling day where she's carrying a bag. Like make
Speaker 2: it easy for old people, you assholes. Make more signs,
Speaker 2: be more explicit. So yeah, why doesn't the pilot talk
Speaker 2: about where that?
Speaker 4: That's so funny? He gives you use He's just like,
Speaker 4: the winds are going to be sixty miles per hour.
Speaker 4: The city was founded in eighteen seventy.
Speaker 2: And guess what, none of it is ever The river.
Speaker 4: Is flowing three miles an hour.
Speaker 2: But I'm not kidding you. Have you ever not heard
Speaker 2: the wind speed of the city you're about to learn?
Speaker 4: No, they always the speed and I go up, Why
Speaker 4: looks like my catamaran's not gonna happen.
Speaker 2: Have you ever like even thought about like when they
Speaker 2: say that, does it make your mind do anything? Mine?
Speaker 2: It just goes, it flushes right away. It's like when
Speaker 2: you flush and you poop and you flush, and so
Speaker 2: it never even sins in the bowl. It just goes
Speaker 2: right down out a flush.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yes, Oh, you don't even have to flush. Sometime
Speaker 4: it just.
Speaker 2: Goes as you're flushing, you you flush, That's what that
Speaker 2: information does through. It never even touches the bowl. For me,
Speaker 2: it's worthless. I'm sick of it. And it's too loud.
Speaker 2: You're too loud, And I know I got loud on
Speaker 2: this rant too, but I did try to move them
Speaker 2: like away from my face while I was screaming, which
Speaker 2: pilots man, some of you like to be heard, and
Speaker 2: some of you flight attendants like to be heard. And
Speaker 2: sometimes I'm in the mood for it. Sometimes I like
Speaker 2: a little joke, but most of the time I'm not.
Speaker 2: But I just turn up my airplane noise. It's none
Speaker 2: of my business. I like that they're trying to be cheery,
Speaker 2: but if they're a little bit cunty with that cheeriness,
Speaker 2: I don't care for that. That is really like annoying
Speaker 2: to me. If you're trying to be funny but you're
Speaker 2: just being mean.
Speaker 4: Cheeriness they're trying to force their cheeriness on you, and
Speaker 4: it's like I'm in the middle of a flight, right.
Speaker 2: It's not cheery though, it's it's being. It's saying mean
Speaker 2: things and being like and you know, we what's an example.
Speaker 2: I kind of like the one where they're like, we
Speaker 2: don't want to we will take your we will find
Speaker 2: your air pods and they will be on eBay by
Speaker 2: the end of the day. Like I don't mind that.
Speaker 2: It's like a teacher that's like a it's just when
Speaker 2: they get kind of when you can sense their yes,
Speaker 2: when they We've all had teachers like this. What teachers
Speaker 2: that would be funny about stuff the they need to
Speaker 2: tell us and teachers that would be funny. But it's
Speaker 2: cruel and they hate you, and there's a simmering hatred
Speaker 2: for you. I can just you're not masking it as
Speaker 2: well as you think you are. Women and men who
Speaker 2: gets the funny it? It feels feminine to me, whatever
Speaker 2: it is, it is a feminine thing of like being
Speaker 2: because guess what I got it in me too. I
Speaker 2: love being mean with jokes, but it's not the funniest
Speaker 2: you can be, and it's not pleasant, but I do
Speaker 2: love being vindictive with jokes, so I get it too.
Speaker 2: I'm a flight attendant in my soul. All right, well
Speaker 2: we have to take a break and we'll be right back.
Speaker 2: And we're back. Do you have a ramp brand? Yeah,
Speaker 2: let's go.
Speaker 4: Enough with the credit card offers for thirty minutes at
Speaker 4: the end of the flights. Can we stop? And I'm
Speaker 4: not really even mad at the people at the at
Speaker 4: the person making the announcement. I know they have to
Speaker 4: do it for work. I'm not mad at the corporations
Speaker 4: for trying to offer you credit cards. I'm mad at
Speaker 4: the fucking people who take the pamphlets.
Speaker 2: There's people people don't they don't take this.
Speaker 4: I see people.
Speaker 2: They must because they've been doing it for years, and
Speaker 2: they wouldn't do something for years if it didn't work.
Speaker 2: People must be taking these pamphlets. Well, these people just
Speaker 2: want these miles.
Speaker 4: Well, can you get a credit card somewhere some other time.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I'm even a little bit like.
Speaker 2: Maybe you're so right, Hey, you guys, let's all agree
Speaker 2: to not take those pamphlets anymore, to send a message
Speaker 2: that will do it on our own time, and they'll
Speaker 2: stop if they're not getting from that, but actually they
Speaker 2: might still take it as a sale because they might
Speaker 2: track that that person who got that credit card the
Speaker 2: next day was on a flight before and heard the pitch.
Speaker 4: It's just free advertising, you'r a it is.
Speaker 2: They make the battle for your.
Speaker 4: Attention, and any time that they can get your attention
Speaker 4: that they will in certain ad.
Speaker 2: You're I'm not even kidding, Like I'm kind of surprised
Speaker 2: we're not getting Like there's not an airline that just
Speaker 2: plays ads the whole time and it's like ten minute
Speaker 2: spirits that you it's coming.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just keep a great idea because.
Speaker 2: People would take a fifty dollars flight and watch ads
Speaker 2: the whole time.
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, I mean you do get ads when
Speaker 3: you're watching the videos, even on the apps.
Speaker 2: You're knocked out of watching the videos in this flight,
Speaker 2: you have to your eyes are kept open.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like the opposite of a conversation.
Speaker 2: And you're marketed things for people like you who are
Speaker 2: willing to pick up. No, poor people that have to
Speaker 2: do that, have to do this to it's mine. It
Speaker 2: will be mind control that will be gang sucking. I mean,
Speaker 2: I can't imagine people like I signed up for Disney
Speaker 2: Plus so I could watch Ara's tour and I I
Speaker 2: sign up for I Have. I'm lucky enough to be
Speaker 2: able to afford premium versions of things where I don't
Speaker 2: have to watch ads on these streaming and when I
Speaker 2: see an ad, I get like if Anya pull something
Speaker 2: on her phone and I watched the ad before we
Speaker 2: watch a YouTube video together, I just go like, give
Speaker 2: to send it to me, like I can't, I won't
Speaker 2: do this, but it is it's so disrespectful that they're like,
Speaker 2: if you can afford it, you don't have to watch
Speaker 2: this slop, But if you can't, we're gonna sell you
Speaker 2: a bunch of more shits so you'll be even more poor.
Speaker 2: So then you can't. Then you'll have to get the
Speaker 2: version that has six ads instead of three, because you're
Speaker 2: gonna buy so much shit you're gonna be even poor.
Speaker 2: It's like, why that's cruel to make people pay so
Speaker 2: that they don't have to suffer. Like I don't know
Speaker 2: what the solution is though.
Speaker 3: Am I crazy? But back in the day when cable
Speaker 3: first came out, wasn't it commercial free?
Speaker 2: I think that was maybe like the draw of I
Speaker 2: can't my dad would know because he started in the
Speaker 2: cable industry when the cable industry started in nineteen eighty three.
Speaker 2: I think my dad started and worked until two thousand
Speaker 2: and thirteen in the cable industry, so he would know.
Speaker 2: But I think HBO certainly is and was. HBO only
Speaker 2: has ads for HBO shows, which I like.
Speaker 4: Then there's like trailers that's fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's fun. But no one watches HBO live anymore.
Speaker 2: And do you want to know how I know? Because
Speaker 2: my special Good Clean Filth was on HBO HBO the
Speaker 2: other night on TV. I got not one DM about
Speaker 2: I didn't get any more new follows. I mean I
Speaker 2: didn't check follows because I don't really know what that
Speaker 2: is like or how to check that really unless you're
Speaker 2: paying close to the number. But I didn't get any
Speaker 2: like dms about it. I didn't get any like mentions
Speaker 2: of people putting on their story like usually if my
Speaker 2: specials airing, people people don't care, people aren't watching. The
Speaker 2: only time you would watch HBO as it's like just
Speaker 2: airing is if you're my parents and you have big
Speaker 2: Clean Filth already programmed into your system so that it
Speaker 2: will alert you when it's on or you were at
Speaker 2: a hotel and you just got in and you haven't
Speaker 2: had time to put your streaming stuff in and you
Speaker 2: just want to eat your Thai food because you landed
Speaker 2: late and it's cold, and you just go, Okay, I'll
Speaker 2: just see what's on, and you've put on Fox because
Speaker 2: they always have some fun game shows. You watch Beat
Speaker 2: Bobby Flay. He's on constantly, and that's a really good
Speaker 2: show to watch. But can I say that, Uh, my
Speaker 2: favorite show is if I'm just turning on the TV,
Speaker 2: it's I'm gonna go to Fox and if I'll watch
Speaker 2: late night. But usually when I land it's like a
Speaker 2: usually or like get back to on like a Friday
Speaker 2: night from a show late night shows haven't started yet.
Speaker 2: I want to go to bed, and it's I will
Speaker 2: watch I will check out what Fox is showing, because
Speaker 2: there's usually like a song about like or like a
Speaker 2: show about guessing celebrities singing or something Beat Bobby Flay.
Speaker 2: And then what's the other like a movie that might
Speaker 2: be that I haven't seen yet, which guess what I
Speaker 2: have not seen?
Speaker 4: And this is criminal okra or no, it's on a movie.
Speaker 2: What I have seen that well, no, I have not
Speaker 2: seen that. This is a movie that Okay, this is
Speaker 2: this is one of the classic comedies of of my era,
Speaker 2: of my generation. No, of my generation. I'm not sixty clueless,
Speaker 2: great guest, Noah, you are on the right track. It
Speaker 2: is l it's when I had already been doing comedy.
Speaker 2: We're talking to two thousands. No, I have not seen
Speaker 2: Miss Congeniality, but that's not the right answer. And I
Speaker 2: have also not seen Sweet Home Alabama or Legally Blonde,
Speaker 2: which I know is going to blow people's minds. But
Speaker 2: I don't really care about hot women being like I
Speaker 2: know they're funny. It just didn't appeal to me, and
Speaker 2: I don't know why it still doesn't. I'm sorry, but
Speaker 2: this one is like Bad.
Speaker 4: Men can't believe super Bad.
Speaker 2: No, super Bad's amazing. I went on super Bad amazing,
Speaker 2: But in that it's it's right with Anchorman in terms
Speaker 2: of importance to people.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 2: And it's not old school, but it's right there too.
Speaker 4: Trip.
Speaker 2: No, No, I don't know if I've seen year old Virgin, guest.
Speaker 2: Virgin is a good guess. I did see that. I
Speaker 2: loved it.
Speaker 4: Where's My Car?
Speaker 2: Loved that movie.
Speaker 4: American Pie.
Speaker 2: No, amazing. But we're talking later and we're talking. Okay,
Speaker 2: let's uh Harold and Kumar. No, I did see Harold
Speaker 2: and Kumbar. Wasn't a huge fan, but definitely a classic.
Speaker 2: You need to see. Road Trip also a classic early comedy.
Speaker 2: This is Going to Park. Okay, Will Ferrell has a cameo.
Speaker 2: That's one of the greatest things ever. Oh old dodgeball,
Speaker 2: not old school, not dodgeball.
Speaker 4: Will Ferrell cameo. Yeah, it's the greatest thing.
Speaker 2: I didn't know about. I didn't know about it. I
Speaker 2: mean I've talked about. I literally saw a clip of
Speaker 2: this and I go, I've never seen this Will Ferrell scene.
Speaker 2: He's sitting on a couch and he's like eating cereal
Speaker 2: in a robe. It was what I'm remembering, But maybe
Speaker 2: that's not it. And and Vince Vaughan is no Owen
Speaker 2: Wilson Wedding Crashers and I think it would probably be
Speaker 2: one of my favorite movies. But there's a scene with
Speaker 2: Will Ferrell in it that's I have to say. It's
Speaker 2: one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I'm talking about? That scene? Have
Speaker 2: you seen wedding.
Speaker 4: Cashers definitely, but I guess I don't remember the scene
Speaker 4: for something.
Speaker 2: Really, he's like calling to his mama. He lives with
Speaker 2: his mom, and he's talking about uh he he's he's
Speaker 2: like the original guy that goes to weddings and.
Speaker 4: Credit Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: He's kind of like Jerry O'Connell's role in Can't Hardly Wait,
Speaker 2: where he's like the old guy that comes back and
Speaker 2: he's like, yeah, I used to do this. I used
Speaker 2: to be the coolest guy in camp. Remember that scene? Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was so good. Can Harley Wait's the best fucking movie.
Speaker 4: You know what I watched on a plane?
Speaker 2: Hmm?
Speaker 4: The Holdovers?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I see it. Yes, yeah, let's talk.
Speaker 4: About what'd you think of The Old Overs?
Speaker 2: What is that? I haven't heard about it? It's a
Speaker 2: Paul Giamatti plays a teacher at a private boys school
Speaker 2: that's kind of like a what is it called when
Speaker 2: you send your kids away and you get a boarding school?
Speaker 2: Boarding school?
Speaker 3: Thank you?
Speaker 4: A curmudge teacher from a boarding school who's with a
Speaker 4: lazy with a lazy eye, who is stuck taking care
Speaker 4: of several kids who are not able to go home
Speaker 4: for the holidays with their family.
Speaker 2: And he's just a stinky curmudgeon professor who smells because
Speaker 2: he has an actual body condition that makes him stinky.
Speaker 2: So he's just like unattractive and like he has a
Speaker 2: weird eye going one way, and he's just not and
Speaker 2: he's bitter about life and he's bitter about his place
Speaker 2: in life. And he could have been more in all
Speaker 2: these things he wants to He could have been an author,
Speaker 2: and he's.
Speaker 4: What about the character you're just describing Paul Giamatti, that's funny.
Speaker 2: So he did have to wear a weird eye, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, he could have just been him. It doesn't
Speaker 2: you know, like his eyes are already doing something.
Speaker 4: Fun, but something fun that great, that's like a that's
Speaker 4: like a a mom or something to that fit their care.
Speaker 4: Your eyes are just doing something fun.
Speaker 2: Honestly, it is fun because it makes him who he
Speaker 2: is to watch, Like, yeah, and I'd been horny for
Speaker 2: Paul Giamati, especially in that Amy Schumer sketch where they
Speaker 2: like make out. I've been like, oh my god, he's hot.
Speaker 2: So I don't feel bad saying that about him because
Speaker 2: I actually am attracted to him. So but anyway, in
Speaker 2: this movie, he plays this professor and then he gets
Speaker 2: he has to stay with the kids who don't get
Speaker 2: to go home for the holidays because their parents suck
Speaker 2: or alcoholics, or have abandoned them or are just like,
Speaker 2: you know, mom's got a new husband, so she's going
Speaker 2: away to the Bahamas. And so these all these kids
Speaker 2: get stuck at this boarding school, boarding school over Christmas break,
Speaker 2: they have no school and the heat shut down and
Speaker 2: and Paul Gamanni has to watch them and hilarity ensues. No,
Speaker 2: it's not hilarious, it's cute. He's amazing. Paul Gmonny is great,
Speaker 2: the boys great, even though he's way too old for
Speaker 2: the role. But it's still it worked. There's one scene
Speaker 2: later on that was maybe a pickup that they did
Speaker 2: after he had you know, file grower aarp. No, he
Speaker 2: was really Yeah, it was looked a lot in the
Speaker 2: parking lot at the end, I guess it was just
Speaker 2: the end. Yeah, and he looked a lot older because
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, this the lighting, you could see
Speaker 2: like fine lines on his face, yeah, not wrinkles, but like,
Speaker 2: oh he's he's older than that.
Speaker 4: And he was like driving a rental car.
Speaker 2: What oh, yeah, you can't do that five brow Okay,
Speaker 2: So then so it was good. Yeah, but best Picture nominee, no.
Speaker 4: Way, I mean I really thought it. I didn't. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I don't know what a best picture should be these days, but.
Speaker 2: I don't either, so maybe that's I thought.
Speaker 4: It reminded me of good Will hunting, and I love
Speaker 4: goodwill hunting, and that's why I was like, oh, good
Speaker 4: Will hunting. Just twenty years later.
Speaker 2: It didn't seem as like raw as good Will Hunting.
Speaker 4: It seemed quite a bit more.
Speaker 2: There's like a more machine.
Speaker 4: To it, but it was like a New England school mentormentee.
Speaker 2: Dead Poets Society was my favorite. That's that's only if
Speaker 2: we're going, we're going. Dead Post Society is the most
Speaker 2: fucked up, then good Will Hunting, then Holdovers. Holdovers is
Speaker 2: those two.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I didn't like that Dead Poet Society as much
Speaker 4: as Goodwill h I loved.
Speaker 2: It so much. I haven't watched it in years, but
Speaker 2: I remember seeing it in high school and declaring it
Speaker 2: it is my favorite film. I like loved it. I
Speaker 2: was like obsessed with it in high school and it
Speaker 2: was really old by that time anyway, but I just
Speaker 2: loved that the ending was not happy.
Speaker 4: And then then the guy from House. All right, he
Speaker 4: was the the guy from House, not the main not
Speaker 4: Hugh Laurie. But I don't know anyone from House.
Speaker 2: But I do know all the other people in that movie.
Speaker 2: Ethan Hawk was in it.
Speaker 4: The main character, the main boy is Society was in House.
Speaker 2: Oh, I didn't know that. I actually haven't seen him
Speaker 2: as an adult. I know that one of the boys
Speaker 2: was so cute, and he ended up being the guy
Speaker 2: that was on news news radio, newswork, newswork, no often
Speaker 2: the the Aaron Sorkin thing about a newsroom, newsroom, uh, newsroom,
Speaker 2: and then he's on something else too, maybe the Good Wife.
Speaker 2: I don't know, he's he's great though. He's in a
Speaker 2: Shumer sketch as well, one of my FA favorite ones
Speaker 2: where they are Josh Charles. Oh my god, I the
Speaker 2: biggest crush on Jos Charles, me too. Why is he
Speaker 2: so hot? Because it's kind of unassuming. I loved it.
Speaker 2: I don't know that, you know, what kind of the
Speaker 2: vibe of another guy that didn't get a lot of
Speaker 2: like girls being swoony over who they should have been
Speaker 2: swoony over Steve's.
Speaker 4: On MMMM don't mess with his on.
Speaker 2: Do you know who I'm talking about, Brian, No, one's
Speaker 2: gonna find out in a second.
Speaker 4: Steve's on the Age.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, so that Thing You Do he was
Speaker 2: like the goofy drummers. I guess No, No, he was
Speaker 2: the basist mate. I don't know what he was.
Speaker 4: And what else is he? Bear?
Speaker 3: Kay?
Speaker 4: Joy ride diary? Will you go back for Silverman? No?
Speaker 4: The Planet of the Apes?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: What do I?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that Thing You Do go before that? And what
Speaker 2: was he in before that?
Speaker 4: Uh? Strange wilderness.
Speaker 2: No, you've got You've got mail, That's what it is. Yes,
Speaker 2: he was the guy in the book shop that worked
Speaker 2: with Meg Ryan, who was like so adorable. Oh god,
Speaker 2: there were some nineties guys that played that kind of character.
Speaker 2: The other one was Jerry Maguire than the manny, he
Speaker 2: was the nanny that was the man I was very
Speaker 2: attracted to him as well in the nineties.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh, but That Thing You Do is one of the
Speaker 2: best movies of all time. Like, I don't know if
Speaker 2: it's best picture worthy, but it's it is the most
Speaker 2: watchable fucking thing. Tom Hanks kills it. Tom Scott Everett
Speaker 2: kills its.
Speaker 4: Songs from Yeah.
Speaker 2: And they don't even just have that song. They have bet.
Speaker 2: They even have so many songs in that movie that
Speaker 2: are so bad.
Speaker 4: Song is so good, it sounds like it's from the Beatles.
Speaker 4: It good like a movie.
Speaker 2: Oh my God, Live Tyler is so beautiful and so
Speaker 2: perfect in it. But Tom Hanks is just great as
Speaker 2: their manager. It's just a great movie. And I love this.
Speaker 2: I just love it, like I love any movie that
Speaker 2: deals with like show business. I always whenever I would
Speaker 2: pitch ideas to people to develop I'm like, okay, so
Speaker 2: it's like set on a TV set, and they're like,
Speaker 2: people don't Americans don't really have an interest in this,
Speaker 2: like the regular Americans.
Speaker 4: And I'm like the show it.
Speaker 2: I know. There's always like exceptions, but by and large,
Speaker 2: Rock I know. But thirty Rock wasn't a huge hit.
Speaker 4: I got six seven seasons.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying it. I think Tina Fey would say
Speaker 2: it wasn't. It is one of the best TV shows
Speaker 2: to ever exist, without question, but it was not a
Speaker 2: It was a critical hit, but I don't think it
Speaker 2: didn't great numbers. But I've just heard the feedback I've
Speaker 2: gotten from the world and This was like maybe three
Speaker 2: or four years ago when I was thinking about making
Speaker 2: a show. An average person doesn't really interested in the
Speaker 2: inner workings of Hollywood. They're just like Kiah. They don't
Speaker 2: really care, and there are exceptions to it, but like,
Speaker 2: by and large, that is not They just want to
Speaker 2: see like things that represent mostly normal life. But it's
Speaker 2: hard because I don't really relate to those like whenever
Speaker 2: they're like Nikki, let's do your character. But if she
Speaker 2: was a photographer, and I'm just like, I don't know,
Speaker 2: I would kill myself if I had to do that,
Speaker 2: no offense to photographers, like I would never have done that,
Speaker 2: and so I can't think like that. But then you go, okay,
Speaker 2: well then it's not me. So I can't be a
Speaker 2: photographer like Nicki Glazer can't be a photographer or whatever.
Speaker 2: I just picked photographer. I think Whitney was that in
Speaker 2: her show Whitney, and actually that actually worked and it
Speaker 2: would work. I just I yeah, I just found it
Speaker 2: interesting that people are like, no, we don't really care
Speaker 2: about like Studio sixty on the Sunset Strip, people weren't
Speaker 2: that thrilled about that show, and I fucking loved it
Speaker 2: because I'm interested in that world, and I'm not saying
Speaker 2: that this is all people. I think there are gonna
Speaker 2: be a lot of besties who are like, no, I
Speaker 2: love that world because you guys are savvy and cool.
Speaker 4: People are interested in the police, the fire, and the hospital,
Speaker 4: so those are the jobs they want.
Speaker 2: To see first respond to science fiction? Can I just say, like,
Speaker 2: I don't. Science fiction to me is as off limits
Speaker 2: of an interest as heavy metal music. To me, I
Speaker 2: don't understand it. I can't relate to people who like it.
Speaker 2: It's just I know, it's just but there are some
Speaker 2: things that you guys would never ever like, no matter
Speaker 2: how much time you spent with it, you couldn't. And
Speaker 2: that's not true. I think, Yeah, there's just certain things
Speaker 2: that some people are totally into and you just go
Speaker 2: it's just not for me. And I don't science fiction.
Speaker 2: I don't really like other worlds that are just invented
Speaker 2: out of nothing. And my mom the other day said
Speaker 2: the same thing. She was like, I just don't care.
Speaker 3: About it, like fantasy stuff. I can't get into it either, But.
Speaker 2: The people that are into it are so into it
Speaker 2: that it makes me want to get into it because
Speaker 2: it seems it's like sports fans or being swifty. Might
Speaker 2: I say, like, I went in because I want to.
Speaker 2: I love being a swifty. It's one of my favorite
Speaker 2: things because I care so much about something and know
Speaker 2: so many details about this thing that's like wouldn't exist
Speaker 2: if it weren't for her mind. So it's the same
Speaker 2: thing for our R Tolken or what JJ are?
Speaker 3: Art?
Speaker 2: Am I confusing people? Jay are Tolkien?
Speaker 4: J R R Tolkien?
Speaker 2: Is that right? I thought it's Tolkien Tolkien? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: k E I N. I didn't know, guys, get it
Speaker 2: to or what's his name? The George R R.
Speaker 4: Martin?
Speaker 2: Wait, why there's so many R R s science fiction?
Speaker 4: I mean it's uh yeah, R R Ronald.
Speaker 2: Reagan J J Abrams.
Speaker 4: They insulted. They inserted the r rs after the eighties
Speaker 4: to support Ronald Reagan, and they never took.
Speaker 2: J J R R Abrams J J R R.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeh, isn't it J J Abrams or is it j Abrams?
Speaker 4: It's J J Abrams. Yeah, you gotta have the double
Speaker 4: letters J J. Hey, what's up J J?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I think so.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I just call him?
Speaker 4: Wait, I have I have a I have had an idea.
Speaker 4: I wouldnt want to forget to say, because it's about
Speaker 4: the planes. Way back when we're talking about planes, no
Speaker 4: go back, capitalist plan Spirit Airlines. If you want to
Speaker 4: hit me up, I can be your marketing manager. They
Speaker 4: should at the end of the flight, when you're walking
Speaker 4: off the flight, they should hand you a book of
Speaker 4: coupons for things that are in the city that you
Speaker 4: landed in.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 4: And they can make money from the businesses who are like,
Speaker 4: I want to be in the coupon book and it's
Speaker 4: just like another way to waste.
Speaker 2: Would people not be doing that? That is like just
Speaker 2: money to be made.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And then then you get the coupons and then
Speaker 4: you're like, oh look five dollars off or free donut.
Speaker 2: You're targeting people who are visiting your city in want
Speaker 2: to explore and already are like they're on vacation, so
Speaker 2: when they're of the mindset of like spending money but
Speaker 2: saving money. Yeah, this is a brilliant plan.
Speaker 3: I could just see that book scattered all over airports
Speaker 3: where people just like dropping in.
Speaker 2: Yes, but just like everything else, and they don't have
Speaker 2: to take one if they don't want one. It's kind
Speaker 2: of like the credit card thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, do you want a coupon book, you can get
Speaker 4: a free.
Speaker 2: I like this idea.
Speaker 4: I know, Highway Start. We're going to start a business.
Speaker 2: We can start an app, Brian. It'd be a coupon app,
Speaker 2: and it's an app that for for people who travel.
Speaker 2: When they land they yeah.
Speaker 4: Okay, we can start. But that's an easy business plan.
Speaker 4: We need seed money, we need now, Okay.
Speaker 2: So the app is that you it's for people who traveled,
Speaker 2: who want to, who are tourists in towns, and then
Speaker 2: if you if it's senses that you are in that location,
Speaker 2: it unlocks coupons for you that you won't know about
Speaker 2: till you land in that city.
Speaker 4: That's right, That's right, Okay, I.
Speaker 2: Just added that thing to it. So it incentivizes traveling there,
Speaker 2: and it incentivizes like I'm special, so I'm unlocking something.
Speaker 4: And things like that. You land in Chicago and then boom,
Speaker 4: free boat tour for the architectural boat tour for you.
Speaker 2: And can I pitch a thing that I want to do.
Speaker 2: I want to start a swifty account on my Instagram
Speaker 2: that's just for swifties and you pay five bucks to subscribe.
Speaker 2: You know how you can do like close friends. It's
Speaker 2: a subscription service, so that's where I put all my
Speaker 2: swifty content so I don't have to get made fun
Speaker 2: of by people who aren't swifties.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well you can have their subscribe on Instagram now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think I'm going to do that, but
Speaker 2: I feel bad making money off of her, Like I
Speaker 2: think I'm just gonna add it up and donate it
Speaker 2: because I just don't want I don't want anyone to
Speaker 2: think of doing this to like get rich, Like I
Speaker 2: just want to be I want to talk freely about
Speaker 2: Taylor Swift. Yeah, without anyone, without Tim Dillon seeing it.
Speaker 4: It should be a feature of Instagram because like, I
Speaker 4: have the same problem with my apples, Dillon. I do cartoons.
Speaker 4: I do cartoons on my page, but I was like,
Speaker 4: I can't post Apple content on my cartoon page because
Speaker 4: the people follow me for cartoons don't want to see
Speaker 4: a bunch of Apple shit. They should have a way
Speaker 4: not to have separate profiles, but just the way to
Speaker 4: divide your profile up into categories so that if people
Speaker 4: want to follow that section and it's the same amount
Speaker 4: of followers all gathering up in the same place, but
Speaker 4: it's divided.
Speaker 2: How would you do that?
Speaker 4: Though? I don't know. Instagram's got to figure this out
Speaker 4: because TikTok's going away. We need them to enhance their
Speaker 4: You use your experience.
Speaker 2: All right, Well they're on it, they're listening and they're
Speaker 2: tuned in this weekend, Gary, Indiana, Cincinnati, Ohio. See you there, besties,
Speaker 2: chechnique Glazer dot com for all my tour dates, which
Speaker 2: there are tons coming up, and also get your calendars ready.
Speaker 2: April eleventh, April eleventh. I don't know what day of
Speaker 2: the week that is. Let's look it up real quick.
Speaker 2: April eleventh of the portant day because F Girl Island,
Speaker 2: which has been renamed it's a Thursday on the CW.
Speaker 4: Set it now, guys.
Speaker 2: F Boy Island didn't do too well on the CW.
Speaker 2: Let's be honest with ourselves. We need the views. This
Speaker 2: is not something that's just like, oh, I can skip that.
Speaker 2: Nicky's my friend, but I'm just she's fine. I need
Speaker 2: you to watch F Girl Island, which has been renamed
Speaker 2: to Lovers and Liars because it's a it's peak. F
Speaker 2: Boy Island didn't do great, so we don't need We're
Speaker 2: leaving it behind for this, but we are an F
Speaker 2: Boy Island spin off. It is the same gameplay, but
Speaker 2: instead there are three guys looking for love, and it's
Speaker 2: a bunch of women who are either f girls who
Speaker 2: are just there for the money or nice girls who
Speaker 2: actually want a relationship. And it's fucking wise the.
Speaker 4: Lovers or they're liars.
Speaker 2: Lovers and Liars, c W April eleventh, Guys, I'm not
Speaker 2: kidding if you liked F Boy Island, or if you
Speaker 2: didn't even watch to F Boy Island, I'm not kidding you.
Speaker 2: It's so much better because the more girls for a
Speaker 2: reality show been more insane that the record set to record.
Speaker 2: Now Lovers and Liars, April eleventh, c W. We'll see
Speaker 2: you then see next week on the podcast by guys WK. Bye,