Speaker 1: Hey everyone, Daisy lighted here. The Daily Show is on
Speaker 1: break for the holidays, but in the meantime we put
Speaker 1: together some special highlights for you. We'll be back in
Speaker 1: the new year on January seventh with all new episodes.
Speaker 2: He was a poll worker doing his part in a
Speaker 2: local election.
Speaker 1: No matter who you voted for, a democracy went shut up.
Speaker 2: She was a self appointed election monitor.
Speaker 1: He's harvesting balance. That's voter fraud. Bali mules, two thousand mules,
Speaker 1: two thousand mules.
Speaker 3: Hi I got one? Hi got one?
Speaker 2: Could when a mandatory recount brought them together. You can't
Speaker 2: take these votes, I kind of I can't.
Speaker 1: These are made of Chinese bamboo. You can't fool me.
Speaker 2: But I hear underneath this randomly hung missile time. Now
Speaker 2: this holiday, they'll both be learning how to steal each other.
Speaker 2: Is hard, But how can two people share a life
Speaker 2: together when they can't share a democracy? Christmas Town has
Speaker 2: a new mayor. It came down to one final ballot,
Speaker 2: and the final vote is for the Democrat.
Speaker 1: You rigged the election and ruined Christmas, Honey, Just because
Speaker 1: the Republican loss doesn't mean it was rigged. The only
Speaker 1: loss here is you losing me.
Speaker 2: Oh man, this is really a low part in our story.
Speaker 2: When elections hopes are lost, sometimes all you need is
Speaker 2: a Christmas miracle.
Speaker 1: Yet, ready, boys, we're going in.
Speaker 2: Excuse me, you got room for one more patriot with
Speaker 2: this insurrection.
Speaker 1: You brought zip ties. If we're going to do this,
Speaker 1: we're going to do it together.
Speaker 2: This holiday season, make sure you cast a vote for love.
Speaker 2: She was a single mom hoping for a Christmas miracle. Hi,
Speaker 2: do you have time for charity? That he was a
Speaker 2: regular Joe trying to do the right thing, and this
Speaker 2: Christmas they're going to find love in the most magical place.
Speaker 1: How dare you teach my child about critical race theory?
Speaker 1: You are ruining America?
Speaker 2: M please calmed down.
Speaker 1: Don't tell me to calm down, you woke elitist. And
Speaker 1: why don't you take that mask off? Take it off
Speaker 1: and face me like a man and keep it off.
Speaker 1: Looks like Santa came early this year.
Speaker 2: Now this holiday they'll both be learning CRT Christmas romance theory.
Speaker 2: You know, oat milk is more sustainable than almond milk.
Speaker 1: Shut your cup mouth and kiss me.
Speaker 2: But can two people who don't agree on history ever
Speaker 2: have a future.
Speaker 1: Does your sweater say happy holidays?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's more inclusive.
Speaker 1: Never understood me or Christmas?
Speaker 2: Oh man, we're never going to end up together now
Speaker 2: this season, one man will have to put Christmas over reason.
Speaker 1: Since our life school board meeting, which was only this.
Speaker 2: Morning, you believed that so much has happened. I've learned
Speaker 2: that one thing is more important than teaching children about
Speaker 2: their own country's history. That one thing that's love. So
Speaker 2: tonight the school board is announcing that we are putting
Speaker 2: love back into.
Speaker 3: The curriculum and it will replace all the lessons about slavery.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, we're overruling that.
Speaker 3: No, he doesn't have the power to do that, And
Speaker 3: why does he have a gabble? This is a school
Speaker 3: board meeting.
Speaker 2: Still miss the movie event of the season. I got
Speaker 2: you this to burn Merry Christmas, fascists a school board Christmas.
Speaker 3: She was a big city career goal in the big
Speaker 3: city with the career, and she was sparkling with holiday spirit.
Speaker 3: The fear sucked.
Speaker 1: I just can't wait to go home and hide from
Speaker 1: the world.
Speaker 3: But to fully embrace this Christmas season, she had to
Speaker 3: leave the cold, heartless city and head to her charming
Speaker 3: small hometown.
Speaker 2: So what do you want to do?
Speaker 1: I want to move to Canada.
Speaker 2: Dad.
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding.
Speaker 3: After all, tis the season to fall in love.
Speaker 2: Christine, you're back in small Townsville.
Speaker 3: Would you want to go ice getting with me later today?
Speaker 1: No, I'm not doing this whole thing, not this year. Bye.
Speaker 3: Sometimes the thing you need the most is waiting for
Speaker 3: you back home.
Speaker 2: Hey, it's in the neighborhood. Got me thinking that.
Speaker 1: The cosmos is.
Speaker 3: It might not be the Christmas she expected, but magic
Speaker 3: is in the air.
Speaker 1: The secret ingredient to all my pies is love.
Speaker 2: You know, Christmas time is the best time to fall
Speaker 2: in love.
Speaker 1: Not this year, not this year.
Speaker 3: Sometimes you need good friends to point out what's been
Speaker 3: right in front of you all along. I guess who's here.
Speaker 3: It's Scott from high school. He's become quite a handsome widower.
Speaker 1: I think he likes you. How many times do I
Speaker 1: have to tell you people, I am not down for
Speaker 1: a rom com right now, and for the last time,
Speaker 1: I'm not joining your MLM.
Speaker 3: Christmas is when wishes come true, and this year she's
Speaker 3: wishing for true love.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not, but it's Christmas.
Speaker 3: Don't care and your home for the holidays, where the
Speaker 3: magic of Christmas romance takes home.
Speaker 1: You know what, read the room? Buddy? Did you not
Speaker 1: see the election?
Speaker 3: I only exist in Christmas movies? What's an election?
Speaker 1: Christine? There's someone here to see you, Christine. I know
Speaker 1: it's Christmas Eve and I'm just a single dad with
Speaker 1: three adorable kids.
Speaker 3: Will you here, mommy?
Speaker 1: This is literally the first time we met. And I
Speaker 1: know you're a big city Christmas journalist and I'm a
Speaker 1: rugged man.
Speaker 2: Who works at every small business in town.
Speaker 3: But Christine, Christmas is about being with the people you love.
Speaker 3: That's what I keep telling her.
Speaker 1: That's what I told her too. Oh my god, all right, enough,
Speaker 1: all of you. Wait. Why don't I even have to
Speaker 1: go home for the holidays. It's not even my real mom,
Speaker 1: it's just some Canadian actress.
Speaker 2: Hey, are you single? Wish you a merry Christmas? We
Speaker 2: wish you a merry Christmas. Wish thank you?
Speaker 1: No thank you, no thank you, no thank you, no
Speaker 1: thank you.
Speaker 3: So get cozy with the one you love. Because of
Speaker 3: this holiday season, The Daily Show Movie Network presents Oh
Speaker 3: Very twenty twenty four Christmas. Merry Christmas,