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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four,

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Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah hart Hunger.

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Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On

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Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our

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Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

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Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping

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Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get

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Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode one hundred and forty four.

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Speaker 1: We'll be interviewing Stephanie Wikert, who is a yoga therapist,

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Speaker 1: and she's going to be giving us some great ideas

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Speaker 1: for how to manage anxiety in these anxious times and

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Speaker 1: in other times too, because lots of people are dealing

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Speaker 1: with stress as they are combining work and family and

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Speaker 1: trying to do their best at both. So really looking

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Speaker 1: forward to that interview. Sarah. Let's talk about your meditation

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Speaker 1: and streak. Well, I figure since you have a running streak,

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Speaker 1: I should have some other don't anymore, by the way,

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Speaker 1: but that's true, but you did I did. My meditation

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Speaker 1: streak is much less impressive than your running streak. But

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Speaker 1: I'm at like thirty one days now, so for me,

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Speaker 1: that's pretty good. I am using an app. It's the

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Speaker 1: Headspace app because they offered free access to all healthcare providers,

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Speaker 1: and I also really like it. We have had Calm

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Speaker 1: as a sponsor of this podcast before. That's also an

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Speaker 1: excellent option. But yeah, I think it is helping me

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Speaker 1: in some way, like just be a little I don't know,

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Speaker 1: more aware of my own feelings. Like I may fly

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Speaker 1: off the handle, but then there's like this inner voice

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Speaker 1: It's like, well, fly off the handle, but then get

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Speaker 1: over it or something. I don't know, but I enjoy it.

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Speaker 1: It seems like it's doing something, So I'm going to

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Speaker 1: keep going. Are you you're not a meditator? No? You

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Speaker 1: ever into yoga? No? I mean I've tried it, as

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Speaker 1: we'll talk about the interview. I have tried like the

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Speaker 1: Cosmic Kids yoga with my kids. My friend Linda, who

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Speaker 1: I don't know if she's listening to this, she and

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Speaker 1: I went to yoga together twice. We would mostly run

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Speaker 1: together and then she got injured. You know, I haven't

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Speaker 1: really done it that much. I don't know. I'm a runner.

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Speaker 1: For me, it's kind of the time when I process

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Speaker 1: my thoughts and I know that that's not really what

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Speaker 1: meditation is, but for me, it serves that similar purpose,

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Speaker 1: so that tends to be the time that I devote

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Speaker 1: to it. Yoga, I probably should be doing a little

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Speaker 1: more of the physical practice of it because I know

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Speaker 1: I have been very physically tense. There's also just parts

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Speaker 1: of me that are getting tired with like carrying a

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Speaker 1: baby around, or how I'm holding him to type and

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Speaker 1: nurse at the same time, how I'm sleeping or something.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but there's definitely some tension that needs

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Speaker 1: to be worked out. So I'm trying to do a

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Speaker 1: little bit more of those stretches and things like that.

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Speaker 1: You did a fair amount of yoga at different way.

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Speaker 1: I had like a yoga faith where I was like

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Speaker 1: very into it, like I would you know, I didn't

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Speaker 1: have any kids at the time, and I would go

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Speaker 1: to like four hour, hour and a half classes after work.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to the Blue Point Yoga Studio and Durham.

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Speaker 1: That place was amazing and I had like the unlimited

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Speaker 1: membership and honestly, I was having a lot of fertility

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Speaker 1: problems and thought it could be linked to my running.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, well, I need a new outlet.

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Speaker 1: So obviously I wasn't just going to do like a

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Speaker 1: little yoga. I was going to do like a lot.

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Speaker 1: You're doing as much yoga as you were running. Now

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Speaker 1: you know what I do here. I think it might

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Speaker 1: have been helpful in that regard. And it did feel

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Speaker 1: really nice, like that much stretching like it does do

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Speaker 1: something really nice and it's calming, especially live classes. I

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Speaker 1: haven't gone to live classes in a long time, but

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Speaker 1: if you do kind of integrate into a given studio,

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Speaker 1: like having had that experience, like it was lovely, But

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Speaker 1: it is a big time commitment and I'm currently not

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Speaker 1: really willing to make that time commitment. But I could

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Speaker 1: imagine going to like a once a week class someday. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to do you know, one or two online

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Speaker 1: sessions a week and trying to rope some child into

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Speaker 1: doing it with me to kind of combine that as

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Speaker 1: quality time. But yeah, it's not been my major thing.

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Speaker 1: But I'm curious. I am yoga curious, so maybe I

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Speaker 1: will have to get more into it. So we'll see

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Speaker 1: what Stephanie has to say about it, and we're going

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Speaker 1: to drive right into that. Sarah and I are delighted

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Speaker 1: to welcome Stephanie Weikert to the program. So Stephanie, can

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Speaker 1: you introduce yourself to our listeners. I'd love to thanks

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Speaker 1: for having me. First off, I'm Stephanie Weikert. As you mentioned,

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Speaker 1: I'm a certified yoga therapist and creator of Make Peace

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Speaker 1: with Stress, which is a philosophy, a method, and an

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Speaker 1: online yoga therapy program for smart, capable and stressed out

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Speaker 1: men and women. Well, that sounds like a lot of

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Speaker 1: us right now. And let's talk about stress here because

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Speaker 1: we're recording this in the thick of the coronavirus pandemic.

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Speaker 1: It's going to run in a few weeks, but I

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Speaker 1: doubt it will be all over by then. That it was,

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Speaker 1: but it probably will not be. So how is the

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Speaker 1: stress of all this affecting us? I mean mentally and physically. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a lot. It's a lot because we've had all

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Speaker 1: of our sort of normals upended. And you know, the

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Speaker 1: stress response is really an automatic, very helpful in a

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Speaker 1: lot of ways, physiological response in our bodies. When we

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Speaker 1: feel threatened, and thankfully for most of us, we're not

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Speaker 1: actually being threatened, but it's more about our perception. And

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Speaker 1: right now we are all experiencing a real sense of

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Speaker 1: you know, our incomes being threatened, our ability to do

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Speaker 1: our normal daily routines being threatened, you know, our education

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Speaker 1: system being threatened. And then on top of that, there's

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Speaker 1: a global pandemic that you know, everyone is worried about

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Speaker 1: getting or transmitting or all of that. So it's a lot.

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Speaker 1: And what normally happens in the body is that when

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Speaker 1: you have something you have to deal with, the stress

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Speaker 1: response turns on and can be very helpful, but then

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Speaker 1: it's discharged, it's used up. The energy that your stress

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Speaker 1: response gives you is you know, turned off. And right now,

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Speaker 1: because we're having so many parts of our lives that

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Speaker 1: are just so feel so uncertain, many of us are

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Speaker 1: feeling like the stress response is always on. And even

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Speaker 1: when there's not a global pandemic, I find that a

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Speaker 1: lot of us get into patterns of thinking and doing

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Speaker 1: that are keeping our stress response at least somewhat ticked

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Speaker 1: on right ready to respond, sort of right on that edge,

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Speaker 1: and it can be a real issue. And I think

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Speaker 1: specifically right now. One of the things that is really

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Speaker 1: important to know about that is that it suppresses the

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Speaker 1: immune system, and that would be a problem right now.

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Speaker 1: And part of the issue here, Stephanie, is that, as

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Speaker 1: you were saying, I mean, normally, you know, if you

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Speaker 1: see a tiger, you deal with the tiger and then

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Speaker 1: you move on. But the problem here is that the

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Speaker 1: stressor is going on for a long time, and so

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Speaker 1: when things are just with you, you have to learn

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Speaker 1: to live with the threats. And obviously there's plenty of

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Speaker 1: other threats that we've learned to live with. I mean,

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Speaker 1: the world is uncertain in general, but most of us

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Speaker 1: don't go around thinking about that all the time. So

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Speaker 1: how can we kind of move this background noise, this

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Speaker 1: new background noise into that category. What can we do

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Speaker 1: for this sort of chronic stress to keep it from

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Speaker 1: producing this chronic runaway from the tiger response. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: a great question. And I as a yoga therapist, I

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Speaker 1: like to look at things at several levels, the body,

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Speaker 1: the breath, and the mind, because when we work with

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Speaker 1: all three of those sort of aspects of our experience,

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Speaker 1: we can have a profound effect with very little effort.

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Speaker 1: And when you know, you're talking about stress and people

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Speaker 1: who are typically overwhelmed managing a lot, have a lot

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Speaker 1: on their plates. All of that, that's a really nice

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Speaker 1: sort of part to think about, Right, That's a really important,

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Speaker 1: I think way to make things practical is Okay, this

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Speaker 1: is something that I can do really quickly that really helps.

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Speaker 1: So in terms of the body, I think the biggest

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Speaker 1: issue is just overall general tension in our muscles. It's

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Speaker 1: part of the stress response. When you know, when all

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Speaker 1: of the chemicals of the stress response flood the body,

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Speaker 1: one of the effects is that our muscles tense up

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Speaker 1: to prepare us to fight or flee. And so when

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Speaker 1: we're you know, sitting on the couch watching the news

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Speaker 1: a lot, or sitting in front of a laptop or

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Speaker 1: on our devices, or just generally holding physical tension in

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Speaker 1: our bodies, it has a negative effect on how we

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Speaker 1: feel in our minds, and it's sort of a vicious cycle.

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Speaker 1: So something really simple to do for physical tension is

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Speaker 1: might feel a little counterintuitive at first, but it's to

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Speaker 1: tense up your muscles and then relax them repeatedly. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I think about this as like massaging cold dough, Right,

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Speaker 1: it's really cold and hard at first, and you need

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Speaker 1: to like, you know, sort of squeeze and really squeeze

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Speaker 1: and release to sort of get it warm up and

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Speaker 1: more supple. And this can be very effective with your

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Speaker 1: muscles too, so tensing and tightening and then releasing. And

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Speaker 1: then if you combine that with your breathing and sort

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Speaker 1: of tense and tighten as you inhale and release and

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Speaker 1: relax your muscles as you exhale, you have this sort

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Speaker 1: of exponential benefit with the breath. A real key factor

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Speaker 1: in sort of downshifting your stress response in your nervous

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Speaker 1: system is slowing and deepening the breath because think about it,

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Speaker 1: when you're feeling threatened, when you need to run or fight,

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Speaker 1: your breath gets shallow and rapid help get more oxygen

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Speaker 1: to those muscles that are tensing up and ready for action.

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Speaker 1: So slowing down and deepening your breath is sometimes like

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Speaker 1: a remote control to your nervous system. Change the channel right.

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Speaker 1: And my favorite and simple way to do this is

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Speaker 1: to exhale as if you're blowing your breath out of

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Speaker 1: a straw. So you push your lips and you blow

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Speaker 1: that exhalation out, you know, in a small, steady stream

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Speaker 1: as opposed to sort of, you know, even just a sigh,

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Speaker 1: which can be nice, but the sigh and sort of

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Speaker 1: rapid exhalation and inhalation is somewhat aggravating to the nervous system.

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Speaker 1: So if you slow and lengthen your exhalation, then your

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Speaker 1: inhalation will naturally be a little bit deeper and a

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Speaker 1: little bit slower as well. So if you combine these

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Speaker 1: two tens and tighten your muscles as you inhale through

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Speaker 1: your nose, and relax and release muscles as you slowly

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Speaker 1: blow your breath out as if through a straw, you

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Speaker 1: get sort of this compound effect that's super beneficial and

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Speaker 1: that you can do while you're washing dishes, while you're

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Speaker 1: folding laundry, while you're in the shower, while you're you know,

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Speaker 1: replying to email, while you're sitting on the couch watching

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Speaker 1: the news exactly, or while you're listening to podcasts. Right,

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Speaker 1: that's right. We turned off our video here just so

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Speaker 1: people know we have a video component. We turned it

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Speaker 1: off because we were having some issues with it. But

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Speaker 1: I am sitting here breathing in and blowing out through

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Speaker 1: my purse lips and We'll try to keep doing that

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Speaker 1: while we take our quick ad break and then we

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Speaker 1: will be right back. All right, we're here, Yeah, Sarah,

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Speaker 1: go ahead. I was going to say we are back,

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Speaker 1: and I have a comment, and then I have like

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Speaker 1: a totally basic question. So my comment is that I'm

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Speaker 1: sure Laura had the same flashback because as you're describing

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Speaker 1: the breathing exercises, all I could think about was like

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Speaker 1: various choral exercises that we did back in the day

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Speaker 1: when I used to sing, because they're all about, you know,

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Speaker 1: breath control and that kind of purse lip breathing and

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Speaker 1: getting the most out of your exhalation. And it's true,

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Speaker 1: there's all these autonomic things that just happen when you

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Speaker 1: breathe differently. So that's so cool. Yeah, Am, My incredibly

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Speaker 1: basic question is can you just tell everyone, including me,

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Speaker 1: exactly what is a yoga therapist? Oh? Thank you for

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Speaker 1: asking that. It is a question that I get all

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Speaker 1: the time, and I find that it's one of my

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Speaker 1: sort of biggest jobs is to help this become more mainstream.

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Speaker 1: So yoga is a vast system of mind body insights

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Speaker 1: and practices. Right, most of us know the roll out

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Speaker 1: the yoga mat do the sun salutation sort of the

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Speaker 1: physical component to it. And many of us have a

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Speaker 1: sense of, oh, there's breathing stuff that happens, and some

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Speaker 1: may even be aware that meditation is technically under the

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Speaker 1: umbrella of yoga and those are three components out of

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Speaker 1: a system of eight components. And so there's a lot

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Speaker 1: more to yoga than what you know most of us know,

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Speaker 1: And yoga therapy is using parts and pieces of this

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Speaker 1: large umbrella of insights and practices as a specific sort

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Speaker 1: of plan of treatment. One of the ways that I

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Speaker 1: love to describe it is if you have a cold

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Speaker 1: and you go to the drug store to get cold medicine.

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Speaker 1: You get in that aisle and there's a whole, entire

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Speaker 1: aisle of cold medicine, and you choose a medication based

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Speaker 1: on the symptoms that you are experiencing. Right. You don't

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Speaker 1: buy cough medicine. You don't buy a medication that includes

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Speaker 1: a cough suppressant. If you're sneezing, you don't buy something

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Speaker 1: with a fever reducer. If you don't to have a fever,

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Speaker 1: you either have a running nose or you're congested. Right,

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Speaker 1: so you you sort of choose a medication that has

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Speaker 1: some specific pieces in it based on your specific symptoms,

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Speaker 1: and yoga therapy is exactly like that. You don't want

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Speaker 1: to do a sort of a heating, activating practice for

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Speaker 1: someone who's experiencing anxiety and really needs more of a grounding,

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Speaker 1: stabilizing practice. And that's just thinking about the physical practice.

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Speaker 1: But even with breathing, there's breathing techniques that can be energizing.

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Speaker 1: And if for someone who needs more slowing down, more stability,

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Speaker 1: more grounding, that would be, you know, completely opposite of

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Speaker 1: what they really need. The other thing is that I

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Speaker 1: want to really highlight with this is that the first

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Speaker 1: two sort of limbs or branches, if you will, of

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Speaker 1: the eight of what is the whole of yoga are

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Speaker 1: insights that can really help us prepare for the deeper practices.

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Speaker 1: And on the sort of the spectrum of the way

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Speaker 1: yoga is organized, these are the first two things that

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Speaker 1: become that come before the physical practice, that come before

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Speaker 1: the breath work, that come before meditation. And these are

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Speaker 1: things like honesty and non stealing and non violence and

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Speaker 1: self study and surrender. And while at first these may

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Speaker 1: not really feel like they relate, the point is to these.

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Speaker 1: They are ten of them, divided up into two sort

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Speaker 1: of sections, and the point of these is to help

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Speaker 1: us with our relationship to the outer world and to ourselves.

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Speaker 1: And when that way, when we approach to physical practice,

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Speaker 1: when we approach breathing, when we approach meditation, we're sort

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Speaker 1: of managing our relationship to our outer environment and to

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Speaker 1: how we deal with ourselves and our inner experience in

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Speaker 1: a way that is of high integrity. So, Stephanie, we've

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Speaker 1: had some you talked about some ways of breathing that

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Speaker 1: would help reduce anxiety. Given that, again, you know, there's

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Speaker 1: so much to yoga practice, but what people do know

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Speaker 1: of it is sort of the physical or the meditation aspects.

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Speaker 1: I wondered if you could recommend a few of the

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Speaker 1: physical components that might help with anxiety reduction. So if

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Speaker 1: people want, I mean, obviously we're on a podcast, you

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Speaker 1: can't see us doing them, but people could google us

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Speaker 1: certain poses or moves or things like that, if you

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Speaker 1: might want to share a few of those, and then

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Speaker 1: a few ideas for meditation practice as well. Yeah, great,

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Speaker 1: So I don't think that these will need to be googled.

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Speaker 1: I really want to emphasize that a big way that

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Speaker 1: I approach this work of teaching yoga for stress, for anxiety,

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Speaker 1: for stress related depression is that it's very integratable and

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Speaker 1: simple and really important to just let it be, not

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Speaker 1: have to look outward for so much. That said, one

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Speaker 1: of my favorite things to do for anxiety and for

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Speaker 1: just that sense of supporting yourself is what I call

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Speaker 1: self hug So it's quite literally wrapping your arms around yourself,

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Speaker 1: bringing your hands to the outside of the opposite shoulders,

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Speaker 1: and walking the hands around as if you're hugging yourself.

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Speaker 1: Maybe in middle school you did this with your back

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Speaker 1: turn to someone to pretend that you were, you know,

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Speaker 1: making out with someone, right, because I'm talking about up

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Speaker 1: or my showing my age. But when you walk your

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Speaker 1: hands around and give yourself a big squeeze and breathe

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Speaker 1: here using that sort of straw exhalation technique would work great.

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Speaker 1: Here You not only stretch your shoulders, which is a

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Speaker 1: place where a lot of us hold a lot of tension,

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Speaker 1: but you cultivate this sense of supporting yourself, of holding yourself,

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Speaker 1: of you know, of really embracing your experience if you will,

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Speaker 1: and I'd recommend that you do this with one arm

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Speaker 1: on top and then the other arm on top, so

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Speaker 1: that you have that sense of balance in terms of

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Speaker 1: not only the stretch, but in terms of cultivating your

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Speaker 1: non dominant way of doing things. This helps to just

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Speaker 1: increase your awareness and increase balance in your body and

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Speaker 1: in your life. Quite honestly, another great physical practice, especially

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Speaker 1: for anxiety, because like I mentioned, you know, there's certain

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Speaker 1: aspects or qualities to practices like opening or expanding or

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Speaker 1: energizing or uplifting or conversely sort of grounding bringing you

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Speaker 1: more into your center, being more introspective. So for anxiety,

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Speaker 1: and this was actually the practice that I attribute to

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Speaker 1: sort of rescuing me from stress related anxiety in my

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Speaker 1: twenties is forward folding. And you can do that in

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Speaker 1: a chair, on your couch, standing up, putting your butt

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Speaker 1: against the wall, and leaning over or just in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the room. But when you quite literally bend

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Speaker 1: over on any level, you're really opening up your whole backside,

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Speaker 1: which is be thought of is sort of your outer shell,

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Speaker 1: can be the part of you that you know you

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Speaker 1: want to put behind you, so to speak, and you're

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Speaker 1: releasing a lot of the muscles that tend to be

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Speaker 1: really tense the hamstrings, the low back muscles, you know,

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Speaker 1: the upper back and the back of the neck. And

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Speaker 1: you're also sort of giving yourself an opportunity to be

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Speaker 1: with yourself on a deeper level, to look within if

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Speaker 1: you will. And when you do that in conjunction, as

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Speaker 1: I mentioned before, with really slowing your breathing down, it

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Speaker 1: can be an incredibly potent and simple way to downshift

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Speaker 1: from that sense of you know, inner chaos, let's just say,

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Speaker 1: to being more introspective, being quieter, and more centered. Conversely,

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Speaker 1: I want to just share one other sort of physical

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Speaker 1: thing that I think many of us need is some

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Speaker 1: sort of heart opening shape. Many of us hunch over

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Speaker 1: and our forward folding, you know, or are sort of

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Speaker 1: forward bending in a sense, but not in a necessarily

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Speaker 1: a positive way, sort of hunch. You know, many of

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Speaker 1: us hunch quite honestly. And some simple ways to not

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Speaker 1: only reverse the effects of this, but also to help

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Speaker 1: to be more open hearted, open minded, even feel more expansive,

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Speaker 1: more hopeful is to do anything that stretches across the shoulders.

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Speaker 1: A great way to do this that I love, that

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Speaker 1: I do almost daily is to stand in a doorway

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Speaker 1: and hold on and just lean out. Or you can

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Speaker 1: do something that looks like you're you know, a cactus,

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Speaker 1: holding your arms in like a cactus shape where the

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Speaker 1: elbows are bent to ninety degrees and you're are pointed

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Speaker 1: straight up to the ceiling, and then simply pressing your

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Speaker 1: elbows your forearms in the tops of your hands back.

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Speaker 1: A way to one last way I'll say to do

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Speaker 1: this is you can hold onto your knees if you're

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Speaker 1: sitting on the floor, on a couch, on a chair,

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Speaker 1: and just pull your chest through and sometimes maybe a

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Speaker 1: little actual back and forth movement is helpful, like a

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Speaker 1: seated cat cow to just opening up a little in

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Speaker 1: the heart, in the chest, in the even the upper back,

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Speaker 1: which is you know, very much connected. So simple, simple

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Speaker 1: movements that can really have a positive effect. Well, I

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Speaker 1: have to say, I personally love the cat cow. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so good, But really I can do that anytime. The

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Speaker 1: forward fold is more of a struggle. But I think

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Speaker 1: your I probably need to embrace more of the self

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Speaker 1: embraced aspects and think less about how bent my legs

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Speaker 1: are because I'm very inflexible. Yeah yeah, But the good

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Speaker 1: thing to know about that is you know, thinking about

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Speaker 1: the sort of therapeutic aspects of that. Being inflexible physically

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Speaker 1: absolutely relates to how you handle the world, right, And

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Speaker 1: we all have these things. So when you bend over

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Speaker 1: and you feel your hamstrings and your low back and

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Speaker 1: all the things that you're feeling really come to that

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Speaker 1: place where it feels super challenging, that's the moment too.

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Speaker 1: And I'll just throw in here like a mental piece

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Speaker 1: that I think can be really beneficial as we start

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Speaker 1: to talk about meditation, but a mental piece in that

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Speaker 1: forward bending while you're slowing and deepening your breath can

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Speaker 1: be really quite literally talking to yourself and saying, I

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Speaker 1: want to be more open. I want to feel relaxed

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Speaker 1: in this shape. I want to be more flexible. I

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Speaker 1: want to be able to relax in this tense situation. Right,

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Speaker 1: I want to Yes, I would like to let my

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Speaker 1: handstrings Lengthen, you know, just a little inner dialogue has

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Speaker 1: a really profound effect on your experience. Ooh, that's so cool.

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Speaker 1: I love that, and I will think of those things

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Speaker 1: the next time I try it. I wanted to ask

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Speaker 1: in particular for our listeners who may be thinking, ooh,

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Speaker 1: like I want to try yoga therapy. What are sessions like?

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Speaker 1: Are these one on one? I know you're probably doing

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Speaker 1: them virtually. Now is there a talking portion and then

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Speaker 1: a movement portion? Or like, how how are they structured?

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Speaker 1: Excellent question, So it will be different the way that

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Speaker 1: different yoga therapists work. I spent six and a half

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Speaker 1: years working one on one with people in my studio,

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Speaker 1: and my online work looks similar. But but yes, there

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Speaker 1: is typically because we have, you know, a body, because

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Speaker 1: we breathe, because we have a mind. Typically there is

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Speaker 1: some talking, some sort of coming to a common understanding

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Speaker 1: about you know, what you're there for, what you need,

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Speaker 1: what the issues are, what you're struggling with, and then

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Speaker 1: some physical movement and breathing and meditation. In an in person,

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Speaker 1: one on one session, it will feel like a private

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Speaker 1: yoga session, but with but from a more holistic perspective

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Speaker 1: and more specific perspective. The way I work now is

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Speaker 1: through my online program Make Peace with Stress. Like spent

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Speaker 1: many years sort of working with people who are struggling

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Speaker 1: with stress and really recognizing that there's a few simple

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Speaker 1: things that all of us that are struggling with stress

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Speaker 1: really need to understand and work with and so I

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Speaker 1: created a very specific program to help us get that

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Speaker 1: foundation in a way that's super concise, and so Make

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Speaker 1: Peace with Stress is offered as a one on one

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Speaker 1: sort of coaching type thing and also as a group

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Speaker 1: coaching program where I work with small groups of women.

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Speaker 1: The group program is only women, small groups of women

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Speaker 1: at a time, and there because there are some very

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Speaker 1: specific sort of lessons that and pieces of information that

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Speaker 1: work for all of us struggling with stress. I've created

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Speaker 1: some very basic video to get those basic lessons, and

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Speaker 1: then there's some worksheets for doing some reflection on the lesson,

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Speaker 1: and then practices that are delivered via audio, because I

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Speaker 1: think listening really helps us tune in and pay deeper

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Speaker 1: attention versus being more visually based. But I do provide

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Speaker 1: also a what I call a practice guide, which is

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Speaker 1: a piece of paper a PDF that you can look

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Speaker 1: at to sort of see the instructions and examples of

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Speaker 1: the physical movements before you listen or while you listen,

431
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 1: if you need that at first, which most people don't

432
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 1: tend to use long term. Cool. Well, Stephanie, this has

433
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 1: been very helpful, and I know a lot of our

434
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 1: listeners are probably exhaling through a straw as they've been

435
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 1: listening to this podcast. So we always do a love

436
00:28:56,640 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: of the week, which is something that is cool for

437
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 1: us at the moment, something we're enjoying right now. It

438
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: could be yoga related, meditation related, or it could not be. Sarah,

439
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 1: what do you have for us this week? Well, I

440
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 1: did decide to go on theme as I sometimes do,

441
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 1: and I will just give a shout out to my

442
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 1: yoga mat that I have had for at least ten years.

443
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 1: The brand is a rare Au are O r Ae

444
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 1: car Spell and I actually got it as a freebie

445
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: in like maybe twenty two thousand and nine ish, because

446
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 1: back then my blog was sort of health leaning and

447
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 1: all these companies were jumping to give stuff out for

448
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 1: the online exposure. And that that era has passed for

449
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 1: the most part, but it was funny. It was like

450
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 1: a time I was getting boxes all the time. And

451
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 1: this matt is an excellent mat. I mean it is

452
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: just it still looks great. It's like the thickest yoga mat.

453
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 1: I just love it. I use it for my workouts.

454
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 1: I don't do that much yoga, but I use it

455
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 1: for lots of other things and it is still going strong,

456
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 1: and I kind of think I might buy another one.

457
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 1: I feel like I owe them to actually purchase. Okay,

458
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 1: after ten years, I hope that thing's clean. There's that

459
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 1: aspect cleanish. So I can do something on theme too.

460
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 1: We tried, I know this is another pandemic cliche, but

461
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 1: I tried doing cosmic kids yoga with my kids and

462
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 1: it was funny. I like they were some of them,

463
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 1: some of them were more into it than others. I

464
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 1: think it was not oriented toward preteen boys in case

465
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 1: anyone was wondering, But I kind of enjoyed making the

466
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: kids do it and watching them and doing it with them,

467
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 1: and you know, it was fun. It was you know.

468
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 1: I tried then yoga with Adrian with my daughter and

469
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 1: we did some stretching and the like, and it's it's

470
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 1: been fun to have that kind of online workout experience

471
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 1: with the kids during this this situation. All right, So Sephanie,

472
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: how about you? What's what's good for you this week?

473
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 1: So this week I am loving an app that I

474
00:30:53,480 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 1: discovered called Libby, and it connects directly with your life

475
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 1: Library card and you can find audio books on there,

476
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 1: just like you were checking them out of the library.

477
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:13,400
Speaker 1: It's a virtual library, if you will. And I am

478
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 1: just getting so much joy out of connecting with books

479
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 1: that I've been wanting to read for a long time,

480
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 1: but for whatever reason just haven't, you know, haven't been

481
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: able to find or make the time I really should

482
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:32,960
Speaker 1: say to read. So I am listening to some amazing

483
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 1: audio books. I just started this morning, Becoming by Michelle Obama,

484
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 1: and I'm already deeply in love with it. So that's

485
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 1: my love for the week, Libby. That's awesome. We love

486
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 1: Libby too. We are big fans over here and especially

487
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: now with people trying to save money but be can't

488
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 1: even go to your local library in most cases with

489
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: them being Libya is a great way to get that. Well, Stephanie,

490
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joys. Can you tell our

491
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 1: listeners where they can find you online? Yeah? Absolutely, make

492
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 1: Peace with stress dot Com and I love to just

493
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 1: highlight that. If you go there, you can take my

494
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 1: stress type quiz, which is a two minute sort of

495
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 1: what would you do in this situation. There's a couple

496
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 1: of options and you can find out sort of the

497
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 1: type of the way that you tend to react to

498
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 1: challenging situations. You might be an imploder or a freezer

499
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: or a catastrophizer, And once you find out your stress type,

500
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 1: you can download a super simple practice that, similar to

501
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 1: some of the things that I've offered, are just ways

502
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 1: that you tools that you can start to use as

503
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 1: part of your daily routine that are specific and will

504
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 1: be specifically beneficial to your stress type. Just like getting

505
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,719
Speaker 1: the right cold medicine. These are things that you know

506
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 1: if you're if you're an imploder, you don't need practices

507
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 1: that help you go further into yourself. You need practices

508
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 1: that will help you be more outwardly expressive. So and

509
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 1: they're very simple things that, like I said, you can

510
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 1: really start to just incorporate into your routine and use

511
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 1: as tools to help you through challenging moments, which we

512
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 1: always have exactly now and at all other times too.

513
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 1: All right, well, Stans, thank you so much for joining us. Stephanie,

514
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 1: we really appreciate it, my pleasure. Thanks for having me. Well,

515
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 1: that was fascinating, and now we are back to our

516
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: question and answer segment. So this one comes from a

517
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: listener who asks for tips on dealing with the emotions

518
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 1: around childcare transitions. This listener writes that she'll be making

519
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 1: a childcare transition soon and her kids have become very

520
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 1: attached to their caregivers. So what do you do? So, Sarah,

521
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 1: what would you say? Well, my first thought was like, ooh,

522
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: maybe someday if we have like a psych child psychologist

523
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 1: on this episode, we could get a more official answer.

524
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 1: I can only share, you know, the little things that

525
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,239
Speaker 1: have helped us in this regard. We haven't ever dealt

526
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,760
Speaker 1: with a big, huge transition. We've actually had the same

527
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,640
Speaker 1: nanny since it's our only nanny really that we've ever

528
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: had since twenty thirteen, so that has been one nice

529
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: stable thing for our kids. But there have certainly been

530
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,279
Speaker 1: transitions in school and then with other types of babysitters,

531
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:32,759
Speaker 1: so we have dealt with it to some extent. I mean,

532
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: little things do help screen time treats, you know, especially

533
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: like a two or three year old, you know, might

534
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:41,480
Speaker 1: be crying their head off, but if you kind of

535
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,880
Speaker 1: arm that caregiver with you know, once mommy leaves, like

536
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 1: they're going to whip out some big surprise like a

537
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:49,879
Speaker 1: new thing of plato or bubbles or even like ice

538
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:53,760
Speaker 1: cream in rare circumstances, then that that can work wonders,

539
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,759
Speaker 1: at least in my experience, and you don't have to

540
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,239
Speaker 1: rely on the caregiver to supply those surprise toys. You

541
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 1: could just have them kind of in your back pocket.

542
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 1: I will admit that I've left a crying kid before,

543
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 1: you know, as we're we've been back, not really recently

544
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 1: as much because Genevieve has not been as difficult, and

545
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 1: I think some it does help to have older siblings

546
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: who kind of take the temperature and if they act comfortable,

547
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,319
Speaker 1: then the younger one kind of falls into line. But

548
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 1: back when my big ones were younger, and there were

549
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 1: times when we would like have a new babysitter calm,

550
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: and the first couple of minutes were rough, and you

551
00:35:26,719 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 1: have to just make a decision like will this scar

552
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,240
Speaker 1: my child for life if they cry for five minutes.

553
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: I feel like the answers no. So I've left a

554
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 1: child that is crying, and I've told the caregiver to please,

555
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,440
Speaker 1: you know, text me in like five ten minutes and

556
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,840
Speaker 1: send me an update. And pretty much for the most part,

557
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,920
Speaker 1: I've always gotten an update with a picture of a

558
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 1: smiling kid in a pretty short amount of time. And

559
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 1: I do think there's something to be said for the

560
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 1: kid kind of knowing that there's not going to be

561
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 1: a negotiation, like sometimes mommy and daddy are going to

562
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:58,479
Speaker 1: have to go to work or go out or whatever

563
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 1: it is. Obviously, this is like not a COVID specific

564
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 1: time period because there hasn't been any date nights for

565
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 1: a while, but I've still had to go to the

566
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 1: hospital to work and that you know, we would only

567
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 1: put them in a safe place and that they can

568
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:15,319
Speaker 1: handle it, and they so far they have. Now I

569
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 1: know there are every kid is different, and I've heard

570
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 1: horror stories of you know, toddlers that literally screamed for

571
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:22,399
Speaker 1: three hours. So if that is you, my heart goes

572
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,239
Speaker 1: out to you, and that might be a time to

573
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 1: maybe seek out a professional to talk with. Well, that's

574
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 1: you know, interesting you approach that from the idea of

575
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 1: adding somebody new. What about the saying goodbye to somebody

576
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 1: that has been very special in the child's life, Like

577
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 1: what would you Is there some way to formalize that

578
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,400
Speaker 1: or ritualize that in a way that makes it I mean,

579
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:48,240
Speaker 1: obviously transitions are tough in general, nobody likes to say goodbye.

580
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 1: But I'm curious if you have any ideas there, I haven't.

581
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 1: I mean, the only thing I can think about that

582
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 1: I've personally lived through is like the end of school

583
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 1: years and teachers that my kids really loved. But somehow

584
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,799
Speaker 1: with a school you know what's coming, and I think

585
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 1: the teachers do a very nice job of having a

586
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,880
Speaker 1: build up and having closure, like it's you know, this

587
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 1: year is weird because we didn't have that, you know,

588
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 1: they were they were physically together on March the thirteenth,

589
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:13,279
Speaker 1: and on March the sixteenth, it was all over and

590
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: like they're never going to physically see each other again.

591
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 1: But at the same time they're they're seeing each other

592
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 1: on a screen, so I think they still feel connected.

593
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:22,239
Speaker 1: I do think it does help to like sort of

594
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 1: formalize the process and celebrate the moving on. But I

595
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 1: haven't ever had a close caregiver leave yet, so I

596
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 1: don't know. Do you have wisdom to share? No, not really.

597
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 1: I mean it's hard on the kids, you know, It's

598
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,800
Speaker 1: it's helped that in the most cases people are able

599
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 1: to still like say hello at some point, you know,

600
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 1: if somebody's gone back to school, they can send a

601
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 1: picture that we've gotten together with people who've been babysitters

602
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:53,880
Speaker 1: in the past and then gone together with them again,

603
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: so that helps too. And you know, knowing that mommy

604
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 1: and daddy are still a constant is good as well.

605
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,759
Speaker 1: They may need some extra special attention during that transition,

606
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: but that's you know, that's part of life. And so yeah,

607
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 1: just trying to keep in mind that the child might

608
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 1: be going through a bit of a grieving process and

609
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 1: you need to be aware of that and empathetic to it.

610
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 1: And if there's a little bit of extra say acting

611
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,840
Speaker 1: out that that maybe that's what it's stemming from and

612
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 1: trying to be understanding. Easier said than done, but but

613
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 1: absolutely that's a great point. Yeah, yeah, all right, Well

614
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,240
Speaker 1: this has been best of both worlds. We've been talking

615
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 1: about making our peace with stress and we will be

616
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:36,799
Speaker 1: back next week with more on making work and life

617
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 1: fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah

618
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:45,840
Speaker 1: at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox

619
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 1: on Instagram, and you can find me Laura at Laura

620
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. This has been the best of both

621
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 1: worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more on

622
00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 1: making work and life work together. The ou