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Speaker 1: You really gotta try it, though I'm good. Just tell

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Speaker 1: her to stay close to the balls.

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Speaker 2: I don't want nobody crossing that bridge.

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Speaker 1: Just step a foot on the bridge. Actually a nail. Nope,

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Speaker 1: a nail feels so much better. Just a graze.

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Speaker 2: I want to say a name so bad, but I

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Speaker 2: just can't. He wants to say.

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Speaker 1: He goes way past the taint. Though that's different. He

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Speaker 1: goes to the end of the bridge. Some people say

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Speaker 1: no Diddy, I say all Diddy all the way.

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Speaker 2: That's what he's doing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I do a pig, big big, can put me

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Speaker 3: to win.

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Speaker 4: I did a.

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Speaker 3: Pig, big big, singing a cad. I do a pig,

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Speaker 3: big big put me to win. I knew a pig,

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Speaker 3: big big sing it a cat. I knew a pig.

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Speaker 3: I do a big, big sing it again.

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Speaker 2: I do big?

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Speaker 4: What is up? What is good?

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Speaker 5: How you living, how you feel, and how you're doing it?

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Speaker 5: Is the Big Podcast with Shack, where we always.

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Speaker 4: Do it big, my fucking guy.

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Speaker 5: It is left go here and we are joined by

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Speaker 5: someone's special Shack. Can I do the voice or do

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Speaker 5: you have a voice request that you'd like me to do?

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Speaker 2: Actually, you know what, Since he's from Texas. Give me

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Speaker 2: the white guy Texas voice. See if you got it.

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Speaker 5: We got ourselves a powerhouse, a genius, a comedy boss.

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Speaker 5: This man has specials with a soaring cost, a Peruvian

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Speaker 5: gene that sells out all the seats. He has spilled

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Speaker 5: drinks at the garden. There was diet coke at his feet.

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Speaker 5: We've experienced Burt and he had us dying. If you've

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Speaker 5: never heard of this man, motherfucker, you are lying from

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Speaker 5: a host of Yo Mama's House, Two Bears, one Cave,

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Speaker 5: and he is currently on tour with Come Together.

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Speaker 4: Give it up for Tom's Sura Man.

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Speaker 1: That that was a one, Adam, thank you very much

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Speaker 1: for that. That was that was excellent.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: So Shaq Segura here was sitting courtside at the Knicks

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Speaker 5: and dropped a phone in his drink and almost spelled

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Speaker 5: on the court and almost.

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Speaker 1: Had a hard almost. I was fucking panicking, dude, because

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Speaker 1: I was like sitting next to my agent and I

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, look at this, and I'd look up

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Speaker 1: and then it just slipped through my hands, went into

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Speaker 1: the diet coke, and I was like, oh shit, and

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Speaker 1: then it started to just you know, pull out and

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Speaker 1: I was like, if this fucking if a player slips

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Speaker 1: and breaks his shit because of me, like my heart

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Speaker 1: started to race. So I'm looking at the ref and

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Speaker 1: then I call over like one of the ushers and

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Speaker 1: they look down and they're like, that's not too bad.

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Speaker 1: And I go, well, can we clean it up? And

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Speaker 1: they're like, we have to wait till a break And

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Speaker 1: I was like, they go, but if it gets onto

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Speaker 1: like the floor of play, they're gonna they're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to stop play and then they will show you on

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Speaker 1: the jumbo traum at MSG And I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: fucking please, God, don't do that.

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Speaker 2: So you were more so you were more worried about

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Speaker 2: your phone or more worried about the players.

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Speaker 1: I was worried about the embarrassment of being the cause

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Speaker 1: of hurting a player. But it was it was terrifying.

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Speaker 1: It was fully terrifying.

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Speaker 2: So what brings you to Atlanta?

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Speaker 1: We're doing uh, we're doing a couple of shows at

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Speaker 1: the Fox here. Uh one tomorrow, one Saturday. So it's

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Speaker 1: just in town to do shows.

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Speaker 5: I was gonna say, Shaq, so Bert christ Ser we

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Speaker 5: had on this is like his mature older brother that

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Speaker 5: has like taught him how to be an adult, because Tom,

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Speaker 5: I'm telling you, when we had Burt and he left,

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Speaker 5: Shaq looked at me and was like that was a

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Speaker 5: fucking tornado.

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Speaker 1: Like that was crazy.

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Speaker 2: This is the.

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Speaker 4: Reason that Bert's got into the next level.

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Speaker 1: Is this guy that's Bert leaves the room. I mean

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Speaker 1: we just did a bottle signing for our vibe and

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Speaker 1: he was shirtless, drinking, hugging, sweating people like it was mayhem.

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Speaker 1: That's every time, dude, every time. Bert is the funniest

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Speaker 1: guy I met up. He's a very very funny guy.

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Speaker 2: He was saying some stuff was like Burt's relax. He

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Speaker 2: just fucking kept going.

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Speaker 1: Was like Bert, he can't stop forself, like burn.

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Speaker 2: You don't fucking get in trouble. He just kept going.

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Speaker 2: I actually, I actually love people like that. I love

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Speaker 2: people that can, you know, just beat himself.

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Speaker 1: He's very lovable, He's very authentic, and he doesn't know

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Speaker 1: any other way than to be himself. We just had

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Speaker 1: a podcast yesterday with someone. He's the only guy I've

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Speaker 1: ever said hurts it to someone. He goes, Hey, what

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Speaker 1: was it like when you met me? I was like,

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Speaker 1: that's not what you say to people? Bro like he's like,

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Speaker 1: what did you think when you met me? And the

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Speaker 1: guy was like, huh, I don't fucking know. He's just

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Speaker 1: the only concerned about him.

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Speaker 2: So what is a taint?

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Speaker 1: A taint?

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Speaker 2: Taint? T a I n t taint.

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Speaker 1: Between your your balls and your asshole.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know that.

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Speaker 1: You didn't know that. It's just the devil's driveway. It's

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Speaker 1: just a little it's on the way, all right, go ahead, Adam,

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Speaker 1: big ass eater, Adam. No, you don't need ask this man.

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Speaker 5: This man just had a full conversation about taint and said, okay, Adam, okay.

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Speaker 2: Do black people say tank?

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Speaker 1: That's a good question. Never heard that words for things? Right,

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Speaker 1: the little bridge, that's the tank?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, the line, okay, god, okay, cool, all right, no, no, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I never know that. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that white folks say cock? More? Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's exclusively like white cock. Yeah, black guys don't say that.

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Speaker 2: No, we say we say dick, yeah, penis, yeah, stuff

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Speaker 2: like that. Richard Richard, Yeah, yeah, I didn't know that.

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Speaker 2: So how does one become a comedian?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: What did you wake up and say I want to

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Speaker 2: be a comedian because I think I'm funny.

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Speaker 1: But you're very funny.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but comedy scares me.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean you've been around comedy forever?

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Speaker 2: Good point. So I've also I don't like to I

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Speaker 2: don't like to let the people down. So when I

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Speaker 2: was playing in La it was it was a comedy

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Speaker 2: store on Monday and then Proud on Tuesday. So I've

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Speaker 2: seen a lot of stars that we see now see

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Speaker 2: them a lot of come up there and bomb. That's

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Speaker 2: my worst fear bombing.

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Speaker 1: It's, yeah, it feels like you're sucking a dick in

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Speaker 1: front of people. Like it's, well, I don't know what

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Speaker 1: that feels like, but either, but I assume it's not

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Speaker 1: the best feeling. It's like you didn't want to and

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Speaker 1: then everybody walks and you're like, I've never done this.

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Speaker 1: That's kind of what it feels like. And they're like

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Speaker 1: you look like you're like, I'm sorry, I got talked

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Speaker 1: into this. Oh hey, Adam, you go from here.

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Speaker 5: I was going to bring out the clip of you

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Speaker 5: shooting half court shots at the Orlando Matage.

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Speaker 1: What the fuck are you doing? Man?

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 5: But the reason I was bringing it up was I

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Speaker 5: don't think people realize how big NBA players are until

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Speaker 5: you're there. And I don't think they realize how far

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Speaker 5: a three pointer is until you have to shoot one.

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Speaker 5: And I was curious for comedy, what do you think

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Speaker 5: people underestimate when it comes to getting on stage, Like

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Speaker 5: what part of it do they think is easy from

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Speaker 5: the audience that when you get up there, it hits

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Speaker 5: you like a mile.

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Speaker 1: There's just a different There's a huge difference between being

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Speaker 1: funny in a conversation, like like when people go, you're funny,

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Speaker 1: and then being funny for an audience at a specific

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Speaker 1: time right because you could be having like anybody you've

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Speaker 1: played ball, sick, sad, upset, you know, enthusiastic, whatever, confused,

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Speaker 1: like you've had all these you're discombobulated, you have all

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Speaker 1: these things going on. You still play ball in comedy,

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Speaker 1: you still hit the stage because it's eight o'clock and

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Speaker 1: it doesn't matter what's going on. That's the skill the

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Speaker 1: skill set is not just your funny. Is that you're

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Speaker 1: funny right now at this moment for all these people.

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Speaker 1: That's the thing that takes time to be proficient in.

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Speaker 5: I was gonna say, Shaq is one of the best

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Speaker 5: humans I've ever seen at when he goes on a

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Speaker 5: jumbo tron, he knows exactly what to do to make

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Speaker 5: fifty thousand people laugh for those five seconds.

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Speaker 4: And I hear that you may need some Jumbo tron coaching.

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Speaker 1: I hear this is a fear for you that for me.

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Speaker 5: You said that you're afraid to go on the jumbo

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Speaker 5: tron and people are.

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Speaker 1: Like, oh, I was didn't want to be the guy

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Speaker 1: on the jumbo tron who just caused a fucking player

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Speaker 1: to tear his acl like that was a different thing

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Speaker 1: than just being like, but.

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Speaker 2: I got mos up. Will always make the crowd go great,

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Speaker 2: what are you going to let's practice? Okay. The first

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Speaker 2: one is oh stretching out bro. Okay, that one right

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Speaker 2: there make the people go crazy crazy. The second one

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Speaker 2: is the I know I'm a star, but I didn't

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Speaker 2: know you were looking at me like you like recognized

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Speaker 2: Nego and then you give him like the fake.

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Speaker 1: That I already know that that works because you're shack.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, but you're you're fucking famous too. Bro. If

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Speaker 2: I were just like, first of all, well, you gotta

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Speaker 2: understand they put you on the on the jumper trying

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Speaker 2: people know who you are.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, right, that's true. That's true.

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Speaker 2: I know who you are. Everybody likes to laugh. So

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Speaker 2: again the second one is okay, and then the third

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Speaker 2: one whatever team you fucking don't want, just fucking like

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Speaker 2: Nicks like gonixt go get the crowd. Chinna automatic. That's

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Speaker 2: that's an audit. That's that's a genius one that that's automatic.

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Speaker 2: So you know he's correct when he said I know

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Speaker 2: how to.

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Speaker 1: And I've seen you be a million times.

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Speaker 2: Thank you. What's your thought on on social media? Comedians?

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Speaker 1: Comedians? Yes?

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Speaker 2: On social media? Be honest.

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Speaker 1: Oh the ones who just do social media, yes, the.

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Speaker 2: Ones that do skits and who call themself comedians. First

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Speaker 2: of all, do you respect them ass comedians? No, they're

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Speaker 2: not comedians. You said it because I was gonna say

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Speaker 2: the seven thing. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I feel like you do what you do. It's kind

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Speaker 1: of you know what I mean. It's like the people

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Speaker 1: who are like I don't know, they're a street ballers

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Speaker 1: or something like you're an NBA player like you, it's

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Speaker 1: a different thing. They do what they do. I don't

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Speaker 1: have any problem with it. Like sometimes you see they

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Speaker 1: have a mass like twenty million followers doing these like

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Speaker 1: little sketches and shorts and you're like great, But I

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Speaker 1: think they're only great at that for that level of consumption.

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Speaker 1: I'm never gonna make a video that they make where

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Speaker 1: you go like holy shit, just like you're not gonna

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Speaker 1: see in a game a guy like, you know, dribble

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Speaker 1: the ball with his foot and like knee it to

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Speaker 1: somebody and you're like that was crazy, Like yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: for this like fun thing you're doing on the street.

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Speaker 1: But I don't know when it comes to like the

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Speaker 1: like a comedian for me is somebody who takes a mic,

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Speaker 1: gets on stage and does it for a whole audience.

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Speaker 1: So it's a different thing. But I'm not bothered by it,

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Speaker 1: but I just feel like it's a totally different thing.

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Speaker 2: What's your advice to young comedians that are trying to

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Speaker 2: make money in this business? Like, what would you tell them?

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Speaker 2: Where should they start?

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Speaker 5: This is the big break question brought to you by

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Speaker 5: the general. Let me get that in there. How can

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Speaker 5: these young comedians get a big break?

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Speaker 1: I mean the way you do it is you just

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Speaker 1: work on the craft. You get on stage as much

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Speaker 1: as you can, you do every mic, and you get proficient,

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Speaker 1: you get better at it and the breaks happen. Like

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Speaker 1: people everybody who've seen like become successful in the last

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Speaker 1: decade doing stand up, it's because they worked on getting

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Speaker 1: good at stand up and the opportunities come your way.

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Speaker 1: So I think when people go like, what's the they're

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Speaker 1: looking for, like an angle, it's like there is no angle, man,

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Speaker 1: there is no thing that you could if you just

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Speaker 1: did this, then it would work out. Get good, And

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Speaker 1: the only way to get good is to do reps.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean. It's like when somebody asks

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Speaker 1: you about playing ball.

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Speaker 2: It's like he was getting ready to say free throws.

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Speaker 2: I saw it. I know, go ahead, you can say it.

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Speaker 1: You know what, no one can say what you didn't

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Speaker 1: take a.

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Speaker 2: Lot of free throw good part, good part, and so yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was like it was like when somebody asked you

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Speaker 2: to take a lot of reps, Like motherfucker's getting ready

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Speaker 2: to say free throws. I knew it.

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Speaker 1: You just said, you know, you did so many and

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Speaker 1: then look at the results.

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Speaker 2: You can't hurt my feelings. Bro, you can say any

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Speaker 2: job like you gotta understand about me. I love to laugh.

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Speaker 2: I'm one of them. I'm one of those guys that

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Speaker 2: want a comedian and says a give rich joke or

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Speaker 2: a dog joke about me. I just laugh because you

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Speaker 2: have it's funny. Yeah, I like it. It's funny. This

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Speaker 2: episode of The Big Podcast with Shock is brought to

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Speaker 2: you by the General. You know, Shaq loves the General,

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Speaker 2: Before the League, before the Rings, before I got my

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Speaker 2: big break, I've been rocking with the General. The General

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Speaker 2: has been offering quality coverage for sixty years. You already know.

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Speaker 2: The General was there for Shack when I needed them,

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Speaker 2: lower rates and flexible payment options to keep you covered.

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Speaker 2: If you're ready for your big break, you know what

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Speaker 2: to do. Visit the General dot com to get a

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Speaker 2: quote today. Again, visit the General dot com to get

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Speaker 2: a quote today. It wouldn't be the Big Podcast without

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Speaker 2: the General. What comedy scares me? Really does?

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Speaker 1: That's hilarious, you think if you're such a showman like you,

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Speaker 1: I mean I remember, like dude, I was, we have

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Speaker 1: a seven year age gap. I looked it up, which

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Speaker 1: is like basically, I was in middle school when you

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Speaker 1: were at LSU, and I mean I was. I worked

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Speaker 1: thirty two in middle school. Yeah, and then where you're from, well,

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Speaker 1: I was. We moved a lot, so I was born

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Speaker 1: in Cincinnati when you were there. I was when you're

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Speaker 1: Scuo was in Milwaukee, but we moved to Florida ninety three,

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Speaker 1: so I saw you play in Orlando, oh in ninety three,

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Speaker 1: and one of the fun things was like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm like a middle school kid becoming a high school kid,

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Speaker 1: and you had such this fun funny personality, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, like the break dancing on the floor

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Speaker 1: and like you just seem like the fun guy to

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Speaker 1: be around. But you were funny and interviews you were

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Speaker 1: always funny. Like I would assume that for you, and

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Speaker 1: I've seen you like do comedy bits, I would assume

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Speaker 1: that for you. It's a totally natural transition.

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Speaker 2: I would like to think I'm funny, but I'm not

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Speaker 2: as funny as you and Bert Well, you guys are

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Speaker 2: on the whole mother, like like comedians are on the

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Speaker 2: whole mother. Like I aspired to be like as funny

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Speaker 2: as you guys. Really your fucking friend and you, yeah,

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Speaker 2: like the explanation of the tank Well said, yeah, very

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Speaker 2: very very descriptive. I never knew that you.

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Speaker 1: Really got to try it though, I'm good. Just tell

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Speaker 1: her to stay close to the balls.

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Speaker 2: Nope, I don't want nobody crossing that bridge.

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Speaker 1: Just step a foot on the bridge. A nail. A

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Speaker 1: nail feels so much better, just a graze, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean? Like just like a Nope, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: You're gonna text me and be like, Yo, I want

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Speaker 1: to nails. What's up?

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Speaker 2: I want to say a name so bad, but I

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Speaker 2: just can't.

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Speaker 1: She'll do it.

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Speaker 2: No, go ahead.

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Speaker 4: He wants to know his comedic routine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that be it's not my cup of tea.

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Speaker 1: Well he does. He goes way past the taint though.

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Speaker 1: That's different. There's he goes to the end of the bridge.

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Speaker 1: Some people say no Diddy, I say Diddy all the way.

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Speaker 1: That's what he's doing.

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Speaker 2: Tom.

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Speaker 5: From a comedian's perspective, Yeah, yeah, shack chuck inside the

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Speaker 5: n b A.

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Speaker 4: What do you see is so right about that show? Comedically?

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Speaker 4: Like what are they doing that? Maybe they don't even

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Speaker 4: really it's perfect.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't fucking say a word. It's it's perfect. That's chemistry.

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Speaker 1: That's what you know. What happens when they make pilots, right,

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Speaker 1: when when when TV show like channels, they make pilots.

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Speaker 1: What they do is they have these scripts and then

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Speaker 1: they start casting people, right, you're gonna play this guy,

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Speaker 1: and you're gonna play and then when they throw them

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Speaker 1: together and they shoot them and yeah, they're all like

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Speaker 1: pretty much the same level of funny. But the reason

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Speaker 1: a show becomes like Friends or fucking How I Met

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Speaker 1: your Mother, it's because of the chemistry of the actors.

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Speaker 1: Now they're not acting, but you can't manufacture that chemistry.

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Speaker 1: So I wouldn't change a thing about their dynamic. It

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Speaker 1: works perfectly. It's perfect. That's why people, I mean, people

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Speaker 1: love to watch the show because they love these guys

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Speaker 1: and they love basketball. But the a lot of the

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Speaker 1: viewers are just because it's funny as shit to watch

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Speaker 1: you guys interact.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's amazing that Chuck gets away with all

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Speaker 2: the stuff that he can say. Like have you ever

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Speaker 2: heard this round about San Antonio women?

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Speaker 1: He said, wasn't it about like big like there?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, but like.

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Speaker 4: They got some big old women down there in San Antonio, like.

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Speaker 2: Seven years straight. He just went on the big woman

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Speaker 2: from Sanantonio. You knows, Okay, I went to high school

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Speaker 2: to Santonio. Yeah, and like I didn't. I didn't realize

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Speaker 2: that it's like growing up and now that's some gorgeous

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Speaker 2: women there. But after he starts saying that I would

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Speaker 2: go back, and I was like, some big.

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Speaker 1: Bitches in this Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of good food.

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Speaker 2: So give me your give me your Mount Rushmore of.

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Speaker 1: Comedians sit in Mount Rushmore of big bitch cities.

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Speaker 2: All right, yeah, all right, yeah do that.

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Speaker 1: Okay, let's see Omaha's got some big ass women. Nebraska.

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Speaker 1: They just feed him well all throughout there. Never but okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's definitely happening louis Like, Louisiana has to big. The

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Speaker 1: whole bat Rouge definitely has some big ladies. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean this state is not fucking around either. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what we're leaving Georgia out of this for there

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Speaker 1: are some wide women walking around in Georgia, big like

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Speaker 1: like they could go play for Georgia. There's some really

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Speaker 1: big chicks in this town.

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Speaker 2: So, oh, Louisiana, Georgia, and I think you just gotta

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Speaker 2: you gotta throw something at Like Iowa, there's they eat,

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Speaker 2: they really eat.

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Speaker 1: Man, that first date is gonna cost you a couple

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Speaker 1: of bucks in Iowa.

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Speaker 2: City.

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Speaker 1: They're gonna be like we get steak, we get potatoes.

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Speaker 1: They're gonna do the Tomahawk Challenge and ship in the coke.

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Speaker 2: Right. Oh yeah, they're working. Yeah, you're married. I am.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, goods. Two kids always five and eight.

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Speaker 2: Okay it's a year. Okay, you're just getting started.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I listened, Julian. Little dudes, do.

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Speaker 2: You discipline them? Like we got discipline.

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Speaker 1: I'm the disciplinarian and yeah, I was never discipliney yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I mean to me, they're just like maybe my

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Speaker 1: five year old has a crazy mouth on him, and

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Speaker 1: he's very reactive, like he's like like if he he

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Speaker 1: he'll stub his leg or he'll be like fucking table.

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Speaker 1: And you're like, hey, hey man. And last night my

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Speaker 1: wife was out and I was putting them down and

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Speaker 1: I was like, he doesn't listen. You know, he's five.

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Speaker 1: I go get in bed, and the eight year olds

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Speaker 1: in and I go get in bed. Dude. I go,

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Speaker 1: hey man, this is like the eighth time I've asked you.

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Speaker 1: If you don't get in bed, then tomorrow you're not

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Speaker 1: gonna have any treats. You're not gonna have any privileges

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Speaker 1: or anything. And he goes, God, you're such a nervous bitch.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, yo, and I started to laugh

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Speaker 1: because it was such a funny thing to hear a

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Speaker 1: kid say, and I go, what was that? He goes,

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Speaker 1: you bitch, you nervous bitch. You fuck. It's like Jesus Christ.

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Speaker 1: But that My level of discipline is just to be like,

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Speaker 1: don't talk like that.

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Speaker 2: Got it? You know? So because I was gone all

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Speaker 2: the time, I want to just come home and be so.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I loved the wife's discipline, but whenever my kids got

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Speaker 2: a line, I just gave him a look and it worked.

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00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:25,680
Speaker 2: The works a lot, and then I would always threaten them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you know it's crazy. I got Yeah, seven kids.

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Speaker 2: I never had to spank maybe one. Maybe that's not

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Speaker 2: a bad ratio, Like seven kids, only had to spank

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Speaker 2: one kid one time. Not bad.

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Speaker 1: I had a good threat the other day that my

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Speaker 1: wife told me to stop doing because he was freaking

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Speaker 1: him out when he wouldn't listen. I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to give you a I'm going to get you

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Speaker 1: a cocklear implant. And he was like, what, what like

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Speaker 1: a hearing aid that they put surgically in your brain?

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Speaker 1: Would you say, a cochlear implant. Yeah, like cochlear implant.

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Speaker 1: That's how I was going to sew it onto his head.

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Speaker 1: It was like what you can see how it gets right.

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Speaker 1: And so when they started to freak him out and

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Speaker 1: made me laugh, you know, my wife was like, he's

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Speaker 1: going to be up at night thinking he's going to

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Speaker 1: get surgery so that he can hear. And I was like, good,

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Speaker 1: maybe he'll listen.

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Speaker 5: Because Shaq knows Bert and you just told a story

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Speaker 5: about your son. Can you tell Shack the story about

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Speaker 5: your son bringing bird a glass of water?

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Speaker 4: I think he'll really enjoy it.

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Speaker 1: Burt came over to my house. First of all, he

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Speaker 1: was like, let's play. He loved because his girls are

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Speaker 1: grown and he was like, oh, this is so fun

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Speaker 1: to being around little boys. He's like, uh, they go,

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Speaker 1: we want to play Hide and go seek, and he goes,

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Speaker 1: I can't play Hide and go Seek. I'm fat as shit.

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Speaker 1: And they heard fat as shit as fat sticks for

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Speaker 1: some reason, so they start calling him fat sticks. They're like, hey,

435
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 1: fat sticks, So that's like his nickname. They're always like,

436
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,639
Speaker 1: how's fat Sticks doing. I'm like he's good, so sticks

437
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 1: fat sticks. Because they misunderstood him. So then he comes

438
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 1: and he he's sitting with me in the living room

439
00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 1: and my oldest at the time, he's six. He just

440
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 1: walks up to Bert with a glass of water. He goes,

441
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 1: here you go. And Bert's like, what's this. He's like,

442
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 1: I got your glass of water. And he goes where'd

443
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 1: you get this from. He's like from the sink and

444
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 1: he goes, Okay, you drink it. And he's like, no,

445
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,720
Speaker 1: you drink it. And Bert's like, did you did you

446
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 1: get this from the toilet? And he's like no, and

447
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,640
Speaker 1: he goes, Tom, I think he got it. I go, Ellis,

448
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,920
Speaker 1: did you get this from the toilet? And he looks

449
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 1: at me like so serious and he goes no. I

450
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,399
Speaker 1: go Bert, I believe him, and he goes, well, then

451
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 1: take a sip, and my kid goes no, I go

452
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:35,360
Speaker 1: I gotta go check. So I walk into the bathroom

453
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 1: and there's a trail of water from the toilet. I go, Bert,

454
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 1: don't fucking drink it. I go, Ellis, you got that

455
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 1: from the toilet and he goes, I'm sorry and he

456
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: just walks away. I was like, dude, you're giving people

457
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,920
Speaker 1: toilet water. I like Elis Yeah, Alice is pretty cool.

458
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,400
Speaker 2: Elice gong on Uncle Shaat, he's does He's fun.

459
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:54,720
Speaker 1: Kid.

460
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 2: This is the shit you gotta look forward to with

461
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 2: your son.

462
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 4: I can't eat like right now.

463
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 5: All he does is just smile at me, like I

464
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:04,680
Speaker 5: can't even imagine him like telling me no. But oh dude,

465
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 5: I would rather have a kid that is like that,

466
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 5: that like says funny things that I think are funny

467
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 5: than like a really well behaved kid, Like I kind

468
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 5: of want an asshole.

469
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 1: Their fun, dude, Believe me not. In the generation you don't,

470
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:22,160
Speaker 1: they tear They ruin everything, bro, They tear everything up.

471
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:27,400
Speaker 1: Everything's drawn on, cut up. My kid put a fork

472
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 1: in the TV, like, fucking wild shit.

473
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 2: You put a fork in the TV? Yeah, a fork

474
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:33,919
Speaker 2: through the glass.

475
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 1: Through the glass. And then we had to have a

476
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 1: new fucking TV shipped. And then I see the box

477
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 1: sitting in the in the living room and it's got

478
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 1: holes in it, and I was like, what the fuck

479
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,919
Speaker 1: is this? And he's like, I go, did you stab

480
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 1: this box? And he's like yeah, I go, dude, this

481
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,520
Speaker 1: is the second TV. So then it was the third TV. Like,

482
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 1: el Elice is wild, So.

483
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,480
Speaker 2: What did why did you and Bird start doing podcasts

484
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 2: because at May, in my opinion, is like way too

485
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 2: many podcasts, like way too Yeah, Like I wish it

486
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 2: was like done like TV, like only the great TV

487
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,399
Speaker 2: station survived. So I wish it was a place where

488
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 2: only the great podcasts would survive, and you know, you

489
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,479
Speaker 2: guys would definitely survive. But my question is why did

490
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 2: you and Bird to a podcast?

491
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,880
Speaker 1: It was it was totally not thought out. It was

492
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 1: for fun and we were just going to do like one,

493
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 1: maybe one a month or something. So we got together.

494
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:27,719
Speaker 1: I think it was twenty it was either twenty nineteen

495
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: or twenty and we were I was living in LA

496
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:32,359
Speaker 1: and it was just like, hey, you want to just

497
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 1: do one for fun, and we did it, and I

498
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 1: think we did another one two weeks later, and the

499
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 1: reaction was so big to it, like people loved our

500
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 1: dynamic together that we at first we committed to two

501
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 1: a month, just like hey, one every two weeks, and

502
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,199
Speaker 1: it just kind of kept growing and we had so

503
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,879
Speaker 1: much fun together because it was like our dynamics, like

504
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 1: we're talking about your guys on the on the show,

505
00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 1: it's like he's a wild guy, like as you experience

506
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 1: and I'm just kind of the straight guy who's just like, well,

507
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:09,119
Speaker 1: you know, he's a different kind of wild.

508
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

509
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,919
Speaker 1: So so our dynamic and that we've been friends for

510
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: twenty years, so it's it was like it's a natural thing.

511
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 1: Like I mean I was with him like two weeks

512
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 1: after his first daughter was born, Like that's you know,

513
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 1: that's that's when I met him. So I've known him forever.

514
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,480
Speaker 1: We've we've known each other since we were like almost

515
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:31,919
Speaker 1: open micers, like we were just doing you know, local

516
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 1: shows at bars and clubs, and now we're both on

517
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,360
Speaker 1: arena tours. So we've been together. We've been friends through

518
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:37,920
Speaker 1: the whole ride.

519
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 4: Who would you say, is the shack of comedy.

520
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:47,880
Speaker 1: The shack of That's a good question. White and black,

521
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: white and black? Yeah, okay, I got the white guy.

522
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 1: You got the white guy.

523
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I like Andrew Schultz.

524
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, he goes off, he goes off.

525
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 2: And his his is still a little bit old school coming,

526
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 2: like he don't really give a fuck what people think. Yeah,

527
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 2: he goes for it, he goes off. Yeah, he goes out,

528
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 2: he goes that really goes off.

529
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,199
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. Maybe kat Cat's kind of

530
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,520
Speaker 1: real powerhouse yeah. Yeah, where they just goes off to

531
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 1: throw it in sixth gear two.

532
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's funny, you said Schultz.

533
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 4: Is that how you said Shack?

534
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 2: Yes, Andrew Schultz.

535
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 5: So I was literally in Soho yesterday and I've known

536
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 5: Schultz now for a while, and I think Tom will

537
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 5: appreciate this. I see him and then I see him

538
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 5: there with this guy and he goes, hey, do you

539
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 5: know who David Tel is? And I was like, I

540
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 5: stood up, I stayed up late as a kid watching

541
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:45,120
Speaker 5: you like Insomniac on like Comedy Central, like David Tel.

542
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:47,120
Speaker 5: To me, it was like one of the funniest people

543
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 5: I've ever seen in my entire life. But sometimes like

544
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 5: you see a comedian and you go, oh, I see

545
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 5: what he's doing.

546
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 4: And like that's an interesting style.

547
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 5: But like when I saw David Tel, it was like

548
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,879
Speaker 5: this crazy person so that I could never connect with.

549
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 4: But it was the funniest thing.

550
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 2: Yeah.

551
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 5: My question for you is not who did you see

552
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,239
Speaker 5: that made you think I want to try comedy? But

553
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,160
Speaker 5: who was someone that just made you laugh so much

554
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:15,160
Speaker 5: but was so unlike you but it tickled you uncontrollable.

555
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 1: I mean, well, I tell I was I had your

556
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 1: reaction where I was so I could not believe how

557
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 1: funny that was, and then I tried to do I

558
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: was I think I was sort of unconsciously doing an

559
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 1: impression of him for a couple of years, you know,

560
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,359
Speaker 1: because you do that when you're starting out doing stand

561
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,359
Speaker 1: up you go, oh, like, hey, this guy's got it

562
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 1: going on. You start to like not know that you're

563
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:42,439
Speaker 1: kind of mimicking that guy, right, but for what you're saying,

564
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 1: I mean, there were I think it was more like

565
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 1: those one liner, like like Hedberg types that I was like,

566
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 1: I'm not anything like this, but they're still so funny,

567
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: you know, Like those guys like Mitch was like that

568
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 1: kind of funny where it wasn't I wasn't gonna be

569
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 1: able to ever do anything like that, but I still

570
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:03,959
Speaker 1: found him so funny.

571
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like Jesselnick feels like that to me too.

572
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:07,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, jes Nex's a great example.

573
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 5: I'm trying to guess what it's gonna be, and then

574
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 5: he delivers it and I have to hit like pause,

575
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 5: and I'm like, how the hell did his brain even

576
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 5: get to that?

577
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's dark and it's twisted and it's unexpected.

578
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 5: I congrats, By the way, you have some dark comedy

579
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 5: coming to Netflix.

580
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 4: What's what's that going to be? Like?

581
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 1: That's exciting. Yeah, we have a series. We got a

582
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 1: six episodes. It's like, I think it's a I would

583
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 1: call it like a bit of a nod. Do you

584
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,399
Speaker 1: ever watch the old Twilight Zone?

585
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 2: Yes?

586
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: I love that show. So we have vignettes, like short

587
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 1: stories within an episode that are dark but comedic. So

588
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 1: they're they're kind of mind plays. You know, they mind fucks,

589
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 1: but like think of like a comedic black mirror is

590
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 1: kind of a good way to summarize it. So with

591
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 1: a host and like fucked up stories. Yeah, if you

592
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 1: need me, I'm in really no tank, No, but you

593
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 1: would really do it? Yeah, do an episode. The writer's

594
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: room starts two weeks. I'm writing a shack one. Here's

595
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 1: the thing that. Here's the only thing, the only rule

596
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 1: I would have though, no taint for sure, Yes, but

597
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 1: no cameo. You can't be the waiter. You got to

598
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 1: be in the piece, you know what I mean? And

599
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 1: not long as you shoot. It would be like a

600
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 1: one day shoot done La or Atlanta, Austin, Texas. Baby

601
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 1: even better, even better there we just did a deal.

602
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 2: Thanks, I mean but you gotta make it really, really funny.

603
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 1: Oh, we'll make it funny, but we'll make it fucked

604
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 1: up too.

605
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 2: I do.

606
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 1: Okay, do I get to kill some people? We can

607
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 1: do that, for sure, I do. You'd be so scary

608
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 1: to fight. I know. Yeah, you know.

609
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 2: I always wanted to be. I always wanted to be

610
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 2: like the next black serial killer because we don't have any.

611
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 1: You don't hold on.

612
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 2: We we've had what, we only had one.

613
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 1: You have the DC shoot Sniper.

614
00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:59,719
Speaker 2: No, I'm not talking. I'm talking about movies.

615
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 1: Oh I thought.

616
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:02,040
Speaker 2: No.

617
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, he's a fucking Hall

618
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 1: of Famer.

619
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 2: I don't know.

620
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 1: You're talking about dude in Cleveland that had the Okay, oh,

621
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 1: in movies.

622
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 2: Movies you have Candy Man, that's it, that's it. You

623
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 2: guys got Jason, Yeah, Freddy.

624
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 1: So much white evilness. But it's all it's four of

625
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 1: our it's in our four more Michael Myers.

626
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 2: Yeah. One. What about Jeepers Creepers? You think he's black?

627
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 1: You know who that is?

628
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 2: You never watched ge peers cree Pears? When did you

629
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 2: get those pers? You didn't check it out? Really, you've

630
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 2: never seen Jeepers Creepers one, two, and three. Never Are

631
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 2: you big? You're a big horror fan? Yes, every night,

632
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 2: every night I come home and smoke my hooker, just

633
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 2: turn on.

634
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 1: Do you like thrillers too? Do I like thrillers? The

635
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 1: Ripley series is amazing. Ripley. It's based on the Talented

636
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 1: Mister Ripley, which was a movie. They made an eight

637
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 1: episode series. It's fantastic.

638
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 2: We have a lot of violence because I like violence

639
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 2: out No, I do. I love violence.

640
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 1: Oh this is Dara, Yeah, very good.

641
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,239
Speaker 5: Uh, Tom, I have a question if you were on

642
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 5: a sports show, because I know you're a big sports fan,

643
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 5: do you have a take that you've been working on

644
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 5: for a long time that you were just unleashed to

645
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 5: the world or do you have any sports takes that

646
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 5: if you were on a TV show like an ESPN

647
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 5: or a TNT, you're like, I need to get out

648
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 5: that I actually think Kobe is the best player of

649
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 5: all time.

650
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 4: Do you have something like that?

651
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 1: Well, I mean I do think Kobe's amazing. I'll tell

652
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 1: you the thing that I think about, because I hear

653
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: this the debates go up so much, is uh when

654
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 1: it comes to like goat talk, which will never end.

655
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,480
Speaker 1: It's it's entertaining, so it shouldn't. I understand, this is

656
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 1: all entertainment. At the end of the day. There's nothing

657
00:31:56,320 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: like whatever you experience the first time. So like it,

658
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 1: you know, I grew up the first guy that was

659
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 1: the guy was Jordan. If you talk to a kid

660
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 1: who's twenty five right now who just grew up in

661
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 1: this era, you can't go but yeah, but you don't understand,

662
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 1: like it doesn't compute to you, just like if you

663
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 1: talk to like our dads about watching Jim Brown play

664
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 1: or will like, it's it's who they watch first. So

665
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 1: it's almost like whenever I hear people and they you know,

666
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 1: they keep throwing up stats and they talk about these this,

667
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 1: oh you yeah, how about that, I'm like, yeah, dude,

668
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 1: if you weren't around for it, you're never gonna fully

669
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 1: grasp it. And I'm not gonna grasp what you saw

670
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 1: in the nineteen sixty Like you know, I watched Tyson before.

671
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 1: I didn't see Ali fight, so it's like I understand

672
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 1: his greatness, but I'm going to go off of what

673
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 1: I saw, man, like I saw something different. So that's

674
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 1: the thing that exhaust me, is like when people do stats.

675
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 1: I just go you've seen what you've seen. I've seen

676
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: what I've seen. I don't even feel like we need

677
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 1: to have this argument.

678
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 2: Or or what if they just had a clear cut

679
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 2: definition of what the goat is, whether it be stats, championship.

680
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 2: Like it's sometime when I hear people talk, I don't

681
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 2: I don't understand the criteria. Is it championships, is it

682
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 2: points it?

683
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 1: Well, they because they move the goalpost on there all the.

684
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 2: Time all the time. But I think, like I always

685
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 2: have arguments with people like I don't really care who's

686
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 2: in it, but I think you should put the right

687
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 2: people in. Yeah, right, so right now, it's just for

688
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 2: some reason, Lebron and Jordan's it is, which is fine,

689
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 2: but you're not going to throw Kobe in it.

690
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:44,480
Speaker 1: It's goofy. It's weird that.

691
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 2: People don't like, you're not going you know what I'm saying.

692
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 1: And it's I think like, because he's not here, people

693
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 1: just feel, you know, comfortable leading him out of the dialogue,

694
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:58,520
Speaker 1: which is very strange. Yeah, that's very strange. And that's

695
00:33:58,560 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 1: the only problem I have.

696
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 5: Would if you're doing a comedy show and you look

697
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 5: out and Shack is there in the front row. How

698
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:10,280
Speaker 5: much does that change your set? Like are you thinking anything?

699
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:13,359
Speaker 5: Because it's like here's this head, it's like a foot

700
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 5: and a half higher than everybody else.

701
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 4: What would that be like?

702
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 1: Front row? I'd be like, bro, can you move? Like

703
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:22,359
Speaker 1: can you can you sit in the back? Like did

704
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,680
Speaker 1: you talk about me? I mean I think I would

705
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:28,320
Speaker 1: have to. Yeah, there's certain things you just can't ignore,

706
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 1: you know you, Like that's a that's a big cardinal

707
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 1: sin of stand up. It's like you can you can

708
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,439
Speaker 1: ignore certain things. You hear a little chatter over here,

709
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 1: but it's like the it's like the broken glass rule.

710
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,359
Speaker 1: If you hear a bottle go bush and shatter and

711
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 1: you just pretend that it's not happening, then the audience

712
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,399
Speaker 1: goes like the fuck is wrong with you? Like why

713
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 1: are you not living in the moment? So yeah, if

714
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 1: there's a fucking seven to one guy in the front,

715
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 1: I don't care if it's Shack or any other guy,

716
00:34:57,960 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 1: I'd be like, the fuck is look at this guy?

717
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 1: You have to look at this human being in the front.

718
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 1: I had Tyson come to a show one time. He

719
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: Mike Tyson came to my show. We met on a

720
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 1: flight and he I chatted with him a little bit.

721
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 1: It's fucking terrifying for him.

722
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 2: Is that you fighting Mike on the plane? This clip

723
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 2: right here, this clip right here? That ain't me? You sure?

724
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 1: I left him. I didn't want to bother him at all.

725
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 1: I said my piece. And then he came back over

726
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 1: to me, which was way different, and my fucking heart

727
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:37,400
Speaker 1: stopped when I felt his hand grab my shoulder. I

728
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 1: was like, huh.

729
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 2: And then he.

730
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 1: Chatted me up about my show and then he goes like,

731
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 1: we're coming to your show tonight, brother, and I was

732
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 1: like okay. And then he showed up like at this

733
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 1: is a comedy club. This is like you know, I'm

734
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 1: telling the manager of the club, Hey, Tyson's coming to

735
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 1: the show tonight. He's like what Tyson, Like, Mike fucking Tyson, Man,

736
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,760
Speaker 1: what do you think I'm talking about. He's like, yeah, sure,

737
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:11,359
Speaker 1: I go. He just called me. He's like okay, and

738
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 1: then a few minutes later he's like, hey, man, Mike

739
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,279
Speaker 1: Tyson's here. I was like, I know, motherfucker, I told you, Like,

740
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:16,839
Speaker 1: I know.

741
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 2: Did you talk about him?

742
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 1: I didn't know if he was still in the room

743
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 1: right because it was like he was sitting further back

744
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:28,879
Speaker 1: in the club. But as the show's going on, I

745
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 1: hear like, like smacking on the table. I was like,

746
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 1: I think that's him. And then I assumed that when

747
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 1: the show was ending, because last celebrities, I mean, you

748
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 1: go to events and you leave before it's over. I

749
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,839
Speaker 1: assumed that he had left, Like at the forty minute mark,

750
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, he's gone. I can't see him. And then

751
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 1: when I get off stage, I'm walking to the back.

752
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 1: I'm walking up the aisle of the club and he

753
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,560
Speaker 1: fucking grat he goes, that's funny shit. I was like,

754
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 1: oh thanks. He's like, let's go to the green So

755
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 1: he took me to my green room. He goes in

756
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,919
Speaker 1: there and then we just sit in the green room.

757
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:11,840
Speaker 1: He's fucking he smokes like nineteen cigarettes in twenty five minutes,

758
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 1: and he's just like, you know, you got a window.

759
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 1: I was like, it's a little late for that, bro,

760
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 1: like you're smoking. And then he just hung out, talked boxing.

761
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 1: But the experience of having him at the show at

762
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 1: first was full panic.

763
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 2: So I used to always sit up front and shows,

764
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 2: and then I got embarrassed one day. Who embarrassed not

765
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 2: by a comedian, so Shade you know who Shoda is, singer? Yes,

766
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 2: she was having a concert and me and my cousin

767
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,400
Speaker 2: we had on fucking suits and like this was like

768
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 2: when I first got to La she was so gorgeous.

769
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 2: I was just sitting there like mesmerize. And then at

770
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 2: the end, right, everybody stood up. But I didn't want

771
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 2: to block people. I was, you know, I'm nineteen year

772
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 2: old kid, I'm being polite. I don't want to block people.

773
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 2: And shoty from the stage and said, I want to

774
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 2: thank everybody for coming out. And some of you rich

775
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 2: motherfuckers that don't like to stand up, you shouldn't even

776
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 2: came to the show. So I'm looking. I'm like, I'm

777
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 2: looking at my cousin, like who's she talking to He's like,

778
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 2: she's talking to you, motherfucker. I was like, I didn't

779
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 2: even do anything. And then the first time I got

780
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:22,759
Speaker 2: intimidated by a comedian, the young Lady on Saturday Night

781
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:27,799
Speaker 2: Live Leslie Worth something. He fucking went off on me

782
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 2: one day. It wasn't a bad thing, but she was

783
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,320
Speaker 2: like shack me and you have a big old black

784
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,239
Speaker 2: but like she just kept going. I was like, all right,

785
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:36,879
Speaker 2: next joke and she just and I was just sitting there.

786
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 2: Where were you at in New York? No, I was

787
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 2: in La at the store. Yeah, at the comedy store.

788
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 2: And it was funny, but she was just is that

789
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 2: shack me? And you have a big old chocolate like.

790
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,399
Speaker 2: She just kept coming. I'm like like, all right, next joke,

791
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 2: and she just kept coming close and I'll take you

792
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 2: home right now. I was like, oh shit, I was

793
00:38:55,719 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 2: just sitting there. So you sit in the back now, yeah,

794
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 2: I said the back. Yeah, I get scared. Yeah, because

795
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 2: I don't want to black people. Yeah. That was shot day.

796
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 2: Why shot day just went. I was just I want

797
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 2: to thank people coming out and even if you're too

798
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:14,839
Speaker 2: rich to stand up, I don't even. I was like,

799
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 2: you were a rookie. Yeah wow. And I had on

800
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 2: a clean suit. Oh because actually I beteve me. You know,

801
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:23,800
Speaker 2: I wanted her to see me. I was going to

802
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 2: try to su I blew that does she know who

803
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 2: you were? Like what you said? I don't know. I

804
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:32,880
Speaker 2: wanted to back to try to talk to her about security.

805
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 2: Is like, no, you gotta go wow, yeah, fucking throw

806
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,759
Speaker 2: us out? Yeah true story, rich mother. Yeah, He's like,

807
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 2: you're rich motherfuckers don't even know why you came to

808
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:42,399
Speaker 2: the show.

809
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 1: I was.

810
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 2: Who she talked to. She talking to you right now.

811
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 2: It was a fabulous show that Like, I was just

812
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 2: so amazed. I'm like, bro, last year I was in

813
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,759
Speaker 2: fucking college. Now I'm sitting here watching shot. I was

814
00:39:56,840 --> 00:40:00,319
Speaker 2: just you know, that's amazing, the VIP treatment. When she

815
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,880
Speaker 2: said it, I was like, Damn, I was hurt. You

816
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 2: never heard that story?

817
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:06,319
Speaker 5: High What was worse the Shaw day or when you

818
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:08,400
Speaker 5: thought you were gonna have someone on one time with

819
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:09,280
Speaker 5: Janet Jackson.

820
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna tell the Jennet Jackson story and keep

821
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:15,400
Speaker 2: going sounds like a good one. Oh it is. Well,

822
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna tell this story anyway. What's your thoughts

823
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 2: on aliens? Yeah, because obviously he's not from from this

824
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 2: planet releases that type of information. Yeah, so what's your

825
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:28,680
Speaker 2: thoughts on aliens? Yeah?

826
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,440
Speaker 1: I think they're I mean they're here good things though, Yeah,

827
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 1: for sure. I mean, look at the technology, look at

828
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:35,919
Speaker 1: this ship. You think we came up with this, There's

829
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 1: no fucking way.

830
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,680
Speaker 2: I kind of believe it too, but I'm never gonna

831
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 2: say it, but not as you said it.

832
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, Like we and also the technological boom that

833
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 1: occurs since roswell. I mean, is that supposed to be coincidental?

834
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 1: We're on fucking horses and like sending pigeons to talk

835
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 1: to each other, and now we're like like, yeah, that's

836
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 1: technology we stole.

837
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 2: I don't agree. You know, you know the you know,

838
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:03,360
Speaker 2: the greatest technology right now. I could be here, you

839
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:06,360
Speaker 2: can be in Austin. I could record a fucking video.

840
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 2: Somehow it just travels through the air and gets through

841
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 2: your phone aliens. But aliens, how do they do that? Though?

842
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 1: Like really I really don't know, no.

843
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 2: Like seriously, like like like I've been trying to like

844
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 2: look it up, Like how do you do that? There's

845
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 2: like text is cool, but if I send a video,

846
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 2: how the fuck does it travel through whatever? And that

847
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 2: fucking video ends up on your phone? Like that there

848
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 2: is like the best piece of technology.

849
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:33,760
Speaker 1: It's an amazing piece of technology. Yeah, I was thinking,

850
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 1: I mean, look we have like what high speed internet?

851
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 1: Is crazy? How about stealth bombers? All right?

852
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 2: So give me, all right, so give me the top

853
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 2: ten things that you think is alien texting? Wait, the

854
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 2: top ten things that you think aliens control? So texting

855
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 2: is one. Texting is one. Okay, weapons weapon like the

856
00:41:55,200 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 2: guns guns. Well I'm saying I'm saying like military, great weapon. Okay,

857
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:02,239
Speaker 2: that's two.

858
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:02,879
Speaker 1: That's two.

859
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:12,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. Cloud seating, cloud seating in Dubai. Okay,

860
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:13,879
Speaker 2: Like I don't even know they can do that. Ship

861
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 2: You could send something to the clouds and make it rain.

862
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 1: That's alien?

863
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 2: Got um self driving cars?

864
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:24,280
Speaker 1: Do you think that's alien?

865
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 2: It's fucking I didn't know. Live. Me and my cousins

866
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 2: walking down Marrows one day and I've seen a garbage

867
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:30,880
Speaker 2: can move and what the fuck is that? It was

868
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:34,480
Speaker 2: one of those self delivery robot things, like it was

869
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:36,719
Speaker 2: coming to her and I was like, I'm looking around, like, okay,

870
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:39,279
Speaker 2: who's playing the prank? Now? My fucking stopped at the

871
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:42,480
Speaker 2: light left right across the street, and I'm like, what

872
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:44,239
Speaker 2: the hell is that? I actually wanted to steal it.

873
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 2: That's alien. That's fucking alien. What else? Oh yeah, Victor,

874
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 2: we beam a yeah five five more? Anybody else? Alien?

875
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 1: Alien ship?

876
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 5: I like trying to guess who is actually an alien

877
00:42:58,840 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 5: even though they pretend to be.

878
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:01,839
Speaker 2: Oh I'm an alien for sure.

879
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:04,440
Speaker 1: That that's believable.

880
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:06,839
Speaker 2: No, I'm an alien, and Uh, the only way I can

881
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:08,800
Speaker 2: get my day started is I got to smoke some hookah.

882
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 2: That's how you started today? Yes, I was starting right day.

883
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 2: Like outside, get dumb with juice, smoke some hookah, go

884
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,880
Speaker 2: to the bank, go to work. You go to the bank. Yeah,

885
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 2: you actually go to the bank. Yeah, because I need cash,

886
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 2: because I like cash. You roll with cash. You know,

887
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 2: I don't want to go to the bank. Tell because

888
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:25,279
Speaker 2: you live in the land and I don't want to

889
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 2: have to kill nobody. Yeah. So when's the last time

890
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 2: you've been on Sixth Street? Uh?

891
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:30,959
Speaker 1: A week ago.

892
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,280
Speaker 2: Every time I go down there, those kids are fucking fighting.

893
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:37,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's every time. It's why it's I don't.

894
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 2: Been down there one hundred times since high school, and

895
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 2: I always say a fight every time.

896
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:42,360
Speaker 1: I mean, I saw a guy. I was leaving the

897
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 1: club and a guy was just standing in the middle

898
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 1: of the street, and I happened to be in front

899
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 1: of a cop who then went around me turn on

900
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 1: the lights because the guy's standing in the street. He's like,

901
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 1: they're trying to arrest me for standing in the street,

902
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,840
Speaker 1: And like then you see it. You look over here,

903
00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 1: another guy's dragging a guy out of a place through them. Yeah,

904
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 1: it's chaos there, man is it's chaos?

905
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 2: So can we shoot my on sixth Street?

906
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,880
Speaker 1: You want to shoot on sixth Street? Ye, it's possible.

907
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 1: I'm serious, You are serious about it.

908
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm gonna gave you my number. You call me,

909
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:15,359
Speaker 2: let me know. You need to call me and I'm there.

910
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 1: You heard that.

911
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 2: I am there, But can you afford me?

912
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 1: I don't know, Shaq.

913
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 5: I need you to see a video, because, Shaq, you

914
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 5: love your mom more than anything, and I think that

915
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:31,800
Speaker 5: Tom really loves his mom. But one of the funniest

916
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 5: videos I have ever seen is this video of Tom

917
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:38,880
Speaker 5: catching his mom doing something. And I think there's one

918
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 5: hundred percent chance you have not seen this, but I

919
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:42,919
Speaker 5: need you to see it. So if Shane can play

920
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 5: the video for you, I would really appreciate this moment.

921
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 2: You know.

922
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 1: She forbid me to play this.

923
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:51,319
Speaker 6: Yeah, she was like, I'm She's like, you want to

924
00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 6: play a clip of your mother farting? She's like, could

925
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 6: you put me any lower? That's what she kept saying.

926
00:44:58,040 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 6: This is a magical moment.

927
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 2: M First of all, I had nice lyngth right, nice length,

928
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 2: and excellent clarity. It was great and it like changed.

929
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,360
Speaker 1: You know what the magic of that was. This is

930
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:39,600
Speaker 1: like we're talking about how amazing technology is. I had

931
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:43,760
Speaker 1: said something about like, you know, I like I teased

932
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 1: her about I bet you don't have a big fart

933
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 1: in you whatever fart like that, and she was, I guess,

934
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 1: you know, in a snappy mood. So she was like, oh,

935
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 1: I got one, and she turns and just in that moment,

936
00:45:57,160 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 1: I happened to reachion pull out my iPhone and you

937
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 1: have the camera icon so you can go straight to it.

938
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 1: So I just went bam, bam, and then that was captured.

939
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:10,879
Speaker 1: Like that's that was nice. That's a magic moment. You know,

940
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:14,560
Speaker 1: what's her name, Charro, Miss Charles love you.

941
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:18,279
Speaker 2: There you go, Mom, I love you, Miss charl That

942
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:23,360
Speaker 2: was that was awesome anytime anybody the length, the sound

943
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 2: and how it went and went back up, Mom, I

944
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:31,399
Speaker 2: love you Mom. That was awesome. There you go, Mom.

945
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 2: That was so awesome.

946
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 5: Jack approved see, like this is why I love technology

947
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:39,720
Speaker 5: because we can show a video of Tom's mom farting.

948
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:42,840
Speaker 5: And then now Tom's mom has a message from Shaquille

949
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:45,800
Speaker 5: O'Neal saying that he loves her because she farted.

950
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 1: That was awesome. It's amazing.

951
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:54,279
Speaker 2: No, the turnaround and like the did you like and

952
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 2: then for him to play that that's awesome?

953
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:00,879
Speaker 1: Pretty great? Yeah, I like I like mess Shaq.

954
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:04,719
Speaker 5: One more thing, our favorite segment, Doctor O'Neil Fan Advice,

955
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 5: and today we are making Tom Segura. Doctor Tom Segura,

956
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:12,399
Speaker 5: we are giving you a doctorate. Congratulations again. If you'd

957
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:14,880
Speaker 5: like to ask Doctor O'Neil a question about your life,

958
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:18,280
Speaker 5: your love life, whatever, submit it via email ask doctor

959
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 5: O'Neill at gmail dot com, or put it in the

960
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 5: comment section today, Doctor O'Neil, Doctor Segura. This comes from

961
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 5: Sean from Cleveland, Doctor O'Neil. I've been dating my girlfriend

962
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:31,319
Speaker 5: for over four years now and she keeps pressing me

963
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:36,040
Speaker 5: to propose. She is thirty, I am twenty five. I

964
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:38,320
Speaker 5: do want to be with her, but I'm not ready

965
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:39,840
Speaker 5: to get married and start a family.

966
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 4: Do you think I should propose to her? Or no?

967
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 1: Run get the fuck out of here with that. Like

968
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 1: a lady pressing you to do it is the worst

969
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,360
Speaker 1: case scenario in the world. You don't even want to

970
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:55,320
Speaker 1: be with her. Fucking buy a ring and throw it

971
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 1: in the river. That there's no shot this is gonna

972
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 1: work out. You're gonna be leaving her anyway. It's not

973
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 1: going to happen. Tell I just point her in another direction,

974
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 1: drop her off on the freeway. It's not gonna happen.

975
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:09,319
Speaker 1: It's a total waste of time.

976
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:13,120
Speaker 2: And I would like to propose something called s YS

977
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:16,440
Speaker 2: called sabotage yourself. You go to seven eleven and you

978
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:19,359
Speaker 2: get a phone and whatever female name you want to make,

979
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 2: text yourself, make sure she sees it, make her leave

980
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 2: so you don't leave her.

981
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 1: That's diabolical, man, Jesus Christ. That's spoken like someone who's

982
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:28,640
Speaker 1: done that a few times.

983
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:33,359
Speaker 2: I've never done it, but yeah, get out of there.

984
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:34,919
Speaker 1: I mean you could just go to a strip club

985
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 1: and take a photo with one I don't know. Check

986
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:41,440
Speaker 1: did some fucking high level shit there that was like

987
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 1: this is like this is a special agent of Hose

988
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:48,399
Speaker 1: sitting in my right.

989
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:52,480
Speaker 2: You knows exactly what it is.

990
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:57,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, either way, get out of there, dude, Yeah, get

991
00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 1: out of there.

992
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:01,720
Speaker 5: Shack is telling you to buy burner and to pretend

993
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 5: to be cheating, and Tom's the girl is telling you

994
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:05,360
Speaker 5: off on the freeway.

995
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 2: I never said cheat. I just said text yourself and

996
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:10,400
Speaker 2: just see what happens. Baby, can you answer the phone?

997
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:14,520
Speaker 2: Who the fuck is Big Booty Monica? Santa Monica? I

998
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 2: have a question. Do white guys live will you're married? Can?

999
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 2: But I was gonna say the white guys label girls

1000
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:21,760
Speaker 2: in the city sent there.

1001
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 1: Like, I guess you're just saying that black guys do that.

1002
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:30,839
Speaker 2: No, No, I'm just saying, like, uh, Stacy Santa Monica.

1003
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:32,480
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I mean I don't know.

1004
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 2: Okay, cool, good answer. That was that right? There was

1005
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 2: the mm A the married man. I don't know. He

1006
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:42,479
Speaker 2: was fucking real quick. I don't know what he's talking about.

1007
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 1: These black guys are crazy.

1008
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 2: Thanks for covering, brother. I appreciate you. Appreciate you man.

1009
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 2: I'm serious about your special No, I'm serious.

1010
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:56,240
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, give me your number, make it happen.

1011
00:49:56,560 --> 00:50:10,319
Speaker 4: Thank you, brother. Yea m hm h m hm.

1012
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 1: H m.

1013
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 2: Nice men and excellent clarity and they like change it.

1014
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:37,359
Speaker 2: It will