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Speaker 1: You don't hear me concession, I can't take back arms speak.

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Speaker 2: We got a text into seven eight five nine two

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Speaker 2: that says I work in a high security science lab

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Speaker 2: where we study different diseases. Cool, and part of my

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Speaker 2: job is to transcribe notes from the different findings. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but at least an hour a day I listened to

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Speaker 2: your guys show instead.

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Speaker 3: Oh, is this why we haven't eradicated disease? Because we're

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Speaker 3: distracting people.

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Speaker 2: I mean, if the bubonic plague ever comes back, I

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Speaker 2: guess we're gonna take the blame for it. Okay, one

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Speaker 2: second date update destroyed all of civilization. They name it

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Speaker 2: the Brook and Jeffery bubonic plague. Yeah, if you have

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Speaker 2: some sort of apocalyptic event that you'd like to take

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Speaker 2: credit for, you can do it here anonymously on the

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Speaker 2: mass speaker. And one of our listeners wants to come clean,

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Speaker 2: possibly about some sort of cataclysm that he created. His

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Speaker 2: fake name is Joe.

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Speaker 4: Wow, that was the biggest word we've ever used on

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Speaker 4: this show, Joe welcome in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, guys, Thank you. That's quite an introduction.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it sounds like it's a medical I don't know,

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Speaker 4: Google done.

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Speaker 2: This changer is on Joe, You're you're a mass speaker.

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Speaker 2: Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So I was dating this woman for a while.

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Speaker 1: She was a little older than me, more established, I

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Speaker 1: guess you could.

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Speaker 3: Does that mean like she had a job. Is that

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Speaker 3: what you say saying?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she kind of had her her stuff together, and

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Speaker 1: you know, I was a little bit more all over

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Speaker 1: the place. Okay, Okay, she thought we were exclusive, but honestly, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I didn't really want to be, so I was. I

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Speaker 1: was just kind of hooking up with some girls more

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Speaker 1: my age.

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Speaker 4: So with one person in the relationship, thanks, you're exclusive

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Speaker 4: and the other one, doesn't that means that you're cheating?

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Speaker 2: Awful, it's an age gap problem.

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Speaker 3: Oh is that what it is?

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Speaker 2: Other people always think it's like we're going steady.

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Speaker 4: Now they say the words going steady.

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Speaker 3: They're definitely older. Okay, so you're still seeing people?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you know, we didn't have an exclusive conversation,

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Speaker 1: but I mean I knew how she felt.

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Speaker 3: Okay, now we're getting into taking the details count.

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Speaker 4: But okay, so is that your confession that you were

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Speaker 4: cheating on her?

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Speaker 1: No? No, one, one time I was on vacation with

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Speaker 1: some buds and I got a text from her saying

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Speaker 1: she had busted me that she knew and I don't

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Speaker 1: know how.

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Speaker 4: She figured it out, like how I was like, well,

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Speaker 4: I just didn't think, but god, she busted me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you must not have been that heartbroken over it though.

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Speaker 1: No, I just you know. I told her I'm sorry

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Speaker 1: and probably for the best anyway, because I kind of

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Speaker 1: knew this was going to happen, so we broke up.

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Speaker 3: Well, I knew this day would come. She's been through

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Speaker 3: the floor.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well this is the weird part though. Months later,

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Speaker 1: I get a letter in the mail from.

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Speaker 3: Her, and well, how old is she? She said, a letter?

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Speaker 2: Did it via pony Express or carryer picture?

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Speaker 1: Well, inside the envelope there was a note basically saying,

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Speaker 1: you know, you screwed up big time. I had a

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Speaker 1: surprise waiting for you when you got back from vacation.

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Speaker 3: She's just now telling you this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and you know the surprise. It was a

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Speaker 1: BMW you want.

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Speaker 3: To sugar Mama.

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Speaker 4: Car day And she didn't ever even have the r

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Speaker 4: WE exclusive.

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Speaker 3: Talk with you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, you must be good man.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, brol or she must be lowly.

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Speaker 1: Hey, a little column a a little column base.

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Speaker 2: Tell me you called her and said, hey, I miss you. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I love you now.

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Speaker 1: No. So in the letter, she says, I left it

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Speaker 1: at the airport for you to drive home, and it's

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Speaker 1: still there. You want it, have fun paying the fine,

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Speaker 1: get it out a hole.

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Speaker 2: Of dollars, or if.

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Speaker 3: It's not toad, that's still worth it.

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Speaker 4: I mean, you pay the fees, but you're still get

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Speaker 4: at BMW out of the Did you go get the car?

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, I did the math, and you're right.

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Speaker 1: I figured it out. It's been three months in regular

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Speaker 1: airport parking. It's about six thousand dollars in charges.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh, that's worth it, unless it's a used BMW

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Speaker 2: from like the eighties, and then it's probably not. Somewhere

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Speaker 2: it's worth.

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Speaker 3: Like one thing he doesn't drive by before the sid.

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Speaker 2: I don't like that. Okay, So now you're officially on

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Speaker 2: a mission to find a BMW that your ex lover

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Speaker 2: has left for you at the airport and pay all

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Speaker 2: the fees to get it out. I mean I have

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Speaker 2: to know what happened.

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Speaker 1: Well, for the next week, I went to the airport

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Speaker 1: every single day, looking all over the garage.

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Speaker 2: Oh, because you didn't know what it looked like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all she said was BMW.

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Speaker 3: Did you finally find it?

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Speaker 1: Boll. I kept hitting the alarm button and I couldn't

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Speaker 1: find it. So eventually I texted her and said, look,

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Speaker 1: I got your no, no hard feelings, but could you

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Speaker 1: just tell me where the car is?

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Speaker 3: Obviously you don't have hard feelings.

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Speaker 1: For you to say.

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Speaker 3: What did she say back?

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Speaker 1: She wrote back skull and crossbones emoji. There's no car,

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Speaker 1: you idiot all.

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Speaker 3: Time.

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Speaker 1: That is brilliant.

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Speaker 3: My god, she is next level.

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Speaker 2: All you to do is buy a random BMW key.

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Speaker 2: You deserve it, bro, you know it.

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Speaker 1: Hey, that's you know. That's what I wanted to confess.

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Speaker 1: She got me. She got me pretty good.

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Speaker 3: That's legendary smart.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my god.

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Speaker 3: So funny. I want to get cheated on so I

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Speaker 3: can do this. You don't actually get the car, you know, Alexa.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't go to something right. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: That's a new type of confession for this segment for Shriff.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing that, Joe, and text into seven

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Speaker 2: eight five nine too. If you have a confession that

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Speaker 2: you've been holding on to, we can hyd your identity,

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Speaker 2: mask your voice, and make you the next mass speaker.

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Speaker 2: We got your phone tab coming up next