WEBVTT - The Happiness Lessons Helping Win Olympic Medals 0:00:15.476 --> 0:00:36.316 Pushkin, Pushkin. This summer, Pushkin is going to the Olympics. 0:00:36.836 --> 0:00:39.236 Shows across the network have got all sorts of stories 0:00:39.276 --> 0:00:42.436 to share, including the latest on sports Science and What's 0:00:42.476 --> 0:00:45.916 Your Problem, a suite of swimmers on slight change of plans, 0:00:46.276 --> 0:00:49.156 a cautionary tales tale of how women had to literally 0:00:49.196 --> 0:00:51.756 fight to be allowed to run the marathon, and an 0:00:51.796 --> 0:00:55.836 epic season of revisionist history about why in nineteen thirty six, 0:00:56.196 --> 0:01:00.396 America participated in Hitler's Olympics. Here on the Happiness Lab, 0:01:00.596 --> 0:01:02.836 we've already spoken to an athlete who fell back in 0:01:02.836 --> 0:01:05.276 love with the sport she'd grown to hate, just in 0:01:05.316 --> 0:01:08.076 time to head off to the Paris Olympics. But we're 0:01:08.116 --> 0:01:11.356 not just interested in sporting stars. To get to the games, 0:01:11.396 --> 0:01:14.036 every athlete needs the help and advice of someone who 0:01:14.076 --> 0:01:16.356 shares their passion and commitment a coach. 0:01:16.916 --> 0:01:19.596 Oh man, this is such a special occasion for me. 0:01:19.676 --> 0:01:20.916 I've been a big span. 0:01:21.116 --> 0:01:23.196 It's always humbling to hear that someone is a fan. 0:01:23.596 --> 0:01:25.836 But I was absolutely over the moon when I found 0:01:25.836 --> 0:01:27.836 out how much this guest liked the show. 0:01:28.396 --> 0:01:31.796 I found your podcast and it resonated so much with 0:01:31.916 --> 0:01:34.396 me that we were sharing episodes of the Happiness Lab 0:01:34.476 --> 0:01:35.996 with the coaches we were working. 0:01:35.716 --> 0:01:38.796 With, because this expert doesn't just work with any old coaches. 0:01:39.476 --> 0:01:41.636 We put these episodes out there, but we don't really 0:01:41.636 --> 0:01:43.476 know who is listening to them. And to find out 0:01:43.476 --> 0:01:45.756 that someone who is actually working in behavioral science with 0:01:45.836 --> 0:01:48.276 Team USA, who would be like our affecting our Olympias 0:01:48.316 --> 0:01:49.996 at our paralympiads like this is amazing. 0:01:50.196 --> 0:01:53.956 You've got many more listeners now from Team USA because 0:01:53.956 --> 0:01:55.156 of the work that you've been doing. 0:01:55.596 --> 0:01:58.356 Christine Bulger is the Associate Director for Coaching at the 0:01:58.436 --> 0:02:01.796 United States Olympic and Para Olympic Committee, helping to train 0:02:01.916 --> 0:02:04.636 some of the finest athletic trainers on the planet. 0:02:04.756 --> 0:02:06.956 We certainly do have some of the best coaches in 0:02:06.996 --> 0:02:09.716 the world who are at the top of their game, 0:02:09.836 --> 0:02:12.556 who have been there for decades in some cases and 0:02:12.796 --> 0:02:18.636 crank out either fantastically gifted performing athletes or teams or both. Sometimes. 0:02:18.996 --> 0:02:23.036 Christine works with trainers across so many sports, archerie badmint 0:02:23.076 --> 0:02:28.596 and baseball, boxing, bob sled, cricket, curling, diving, fencing, golf, gymnastics, judosurfing, swimming, weightlifting, 0:02:28.636 --> 0:02:31.356 wheelchair basketball, wrestling, and even yachting. 0:02:31.996 --> 0:02:35.316 Coaching's coaching regardless of if you're coaching cycling or swimming 0:02:35.476 --> 0:02:37.836 or some snowsport. But what we try to do is 0:02:37.956 --> 0:02:41.636 cultivate the skills and information that cut across as many 0:02:41.636 --> 0:02:46.556 sports as possible. Leadership, communication, care planning, just the things 0:02:46.636 --> 0:02:49.876 that will resonate with every coach. And it can look 0:02:49.876 --> 0:02:53.156 different in different contexts in different sports, but those are 0:02:53.156 --> 0:02:55.516 the pieces that we as USOBC grab onto. 0:02:55.916 --> 0:02:57.996 I was shocked at how new this kind of coaching 0:02:58.116 --> 0:03:01.596 education is. The US Olympic Committee was founded way back 0:03:01.596 --> 0:03:04.276 in eighteen ninety four, but the group only got around 0:03:04.276 --> 0:03:08.356 to publishing its Quality Coaching Framework in twenty seventeen. Unlike 0:03:08.396 --> 0:03:12.236 say school team, most US coaches, even at the Olympic level, 0:03:12.436 --> 0:03:15.196 don't receive special instruction on how to coach. 0:03:15.356 --> 0:03:18.276 There's no requirements for coaches to go through any specific 0:03:18.316 --> 0:03:20.676 type of training. For the most part, we now do 0:03:20.756 --> 0:03:23.316 safe Sport to ensure that they do background checks and 0:03:23.356 --> 0:03:25.676 things like that, and I think first DAID and CPR 0:03:25.796 --> 0:03:28.956 tend to be pretty standard now. But really anybody can 0:03:28.956 --> 0:03:31.156 go out there and coach, so I think that there 0:03:31.236 --> 0:03:34.156 is a big risk without the proper education and training 0:03:34.356 --> 0:03:36.916 and we say that so often that coaching isn't about 0:03:36.956 --> 0:03:39.956 sport necessarily as much as it is about working with people. 0:03:40.276 --> 0:03:42.476 And I think that that is part of what we're 0:03:42.476 --> 0:03:45.996 trying to help the coaches understand. If they're overtraining, if 0:03:46.036 --> 0:03:50.636 they're not listening to the athlete saying hey, I feel awe, 0:03:50.796 --> 0:03:53.956 they really have to have all their senses up so 0:03:53.996 --> 0:03:56.876 that they're able to know when to push no, when 0:03:56.876 --> 0:03:58.996 to pull back, no, when to change things, no, when 0:03:58.996 --> 0:04:00.796 to take a day off, no, when to get out 0:04:00.836 --> 0:04:03.716 of the training facility and just try to learn and 0:04:03.716 --> 0:04:06.716 get better in a different context. Yeah, it's just it's 0:04:06.796 --> 0:04:10.116 so much self awareness and being totally in tune with 0:04:10.196 --> 0:04:13.276 the people you're working with and listening to feedback from 0:04:13.316 --> 0:04:14.996 the athletes from your coaching staff. 0:04:15.116 --> 0:04:17.676 But Christian's goal isn't just to improve the experience of 0:04:17.676 --> 0:04:20.796 the athletes. She's also concerned about the well being of 0:04:20.836 --> 0:04:24.516 the coaches themselves, which thus far has been pretty neglected. 0:04:25.236 --> 0:04:27.876 It's far from being an easy or a secure job. 0:04:28.396 --> 0:04:32.116 We have some coaches that rely on athletes to secure 0:04:32.116 --> 0:04:34.676 an income, where if they don't have the athletes, they 0:04:34.716 --> 0:04:37.316 don't put food on the table. There could be some 0:04:37.436 --> 0:04:40.236 that don't have that proper health care individually, and if 0:04:40.276 --> 0:04:42.436 their spouse doesn't have what they need, then you know, 0:04:42.436 --> 0:04:44.916 they're kind of just like growing day to day hoping 0:04:44.916 --> 0:04:45.756 that I don't get sick. 0:04:46.116 --> 0:04:48.196 What are the kind of mental health challenges that coaches 0:04:48.236 --> 0:04:49.196 go through all the time. 0:04:49.596 --> 0:04:52.236 Yeah, certainly the pressure to win at the elite level. 0:04:52.596 --> 0:04:55.596 If you're not winning across pro sports, across TMOSA, then 0:04:55.636 --> 0:04:57.436 you're probably not going to keep your job for very long. 0:04:57.476 --> 0:05:00.196 So that in itself is enough of a stressor to 0:05:00.236 --> 0:05:02.756 put just so much pressure on yourself that all you're 0:05:02.796 --> 0:05:06.316 focused on is working, doing more, staying up watching tapes, 0:05:06.476 --> 0:05:09.076 you know, skipping meals because that gives you another opportunity 0:05:09.316 --> 0:05:12.356 fifteen to sixty minutes to do more work and put 0:05:12.356 --> 0:05:14.596 it in there. So after a while, that takes a toll. 0:05:14.916 --> 0:05:16.796 And what are some of the strains that coaches face 0:05:16.876 --> 0:05:19.316 when it comes to their own personal relationships and their 0:05:19.356 --> 0:05:20.076 family ties. 0:05:20.396 --> 0:05:22.556 Oh boy, we worked with a coach who was on 0:05:22.636 --> 0:05:25.436 tour for a winter sport that you know, was gone 0:05:25.436 --> 0:05:28.836 for two hundred days a year, that had young kids, 0:05:29.036 --> 0:05:31.756 you know, and that leaves their spouse home to take 0:05:31.756 --> 0:05:33.756 care of everything on their own. So there's the guilt 0:05:33.836 --> 0:05:36.916 factor too. You're missing your spouse, you're missing your kids, 0:05:36.956 --> 0:05:40.076 you're missing your pets. They're so selfless most of the 0:05:40.156 --> 0:05:42.516 time that all they're thinking about are the athletes in 0:05:42.516 --> 0:05:44.236 front of them, and how can I help my athletes 0:05:44.236 --> 0:05:44.716 get better. 0:05:44.916 --> 0:05:47.436 It seems like another challenge that coaches face is that 0:05:47.516 --> 0:05:49.676 they're kind of the ones that are in some ways 0:05:49.676 --> 0:05:51.556 in charge of the performance, but they don't get to 0:05:51.596 --> 0:05:53.916 do it themselves. I know, as a faculty member, I've 0:05:53.916 --> 0:05:55.836 felt this that, like when I have to give my 0:05:55.876 --> 0:05:57.916 own talks, you know, that's nerve wracking and I get 0:05:57.956 --> 0:06:00.076 a little bit anxious about it. But when my student 0:06:00.156 --> 0:06:02.316 is giving a talk, I'm so much more anxious. And 0:06:02.316 --> 0:06:04.756 I feel like my students who are giving talks are 0:06:04.796 --> 0:06:06.796 just like giving a talk at some random conference. They're 0:06:06.836 --> 0:06:08.756 not like competing for a gold medal in front of 0:06:08.756 --> 0:06:10.916 millions of people. And so, you know, is this a 0:06:10.956 --> 0:06:12.996 particular challenge that coaches face. 0:06:13.196 --> 0:06:15.396 Oh, they're no different than you and your students. They 0:06:15.476 --> 0:06:19.476 lose control, especially those that competed as athletes themselves. They're like, 0:06:19.516 --> 0:06:22.396 I can't do anything. I'm just on the sidelines. I 0:06:22.436 --> 0:06:24.436 hope that all the preparation works and they do what 0:06:24.476 --> 0:06:26.556 they need to do, and if it doesn't, I'm gonna, 0:06:26.676 --> 0:06:28.596 you know, just tear my hair out. But you can 0:06:28.636 --> 0:06:30.516 only do so much and then it's out of your control. 0:06:30.636 --> 0:06:32.636 Like prepare them as well as you can, as best 0:06:32.676 --> 0:06:35.516 you can, and hope for the best. And I think 0:06:35.596 --> 0:06:37.836 that with social media, of course, that's going to come 0:06:37.876 --> 0:06:39.876 up in anything. You know, you lose a game or 0:06:39.916 --> 0:06:42.276 you do something wrong, even if it's one player, like 0:06:42.396 --> 0:06:44.356 that person should be fired because that was just a 0:06:44.396 --> 0:06:47.916 horrible situation, Like how can they possibly be considered a 0:06:47.916 --> 0:06:52.076 good coach? So I think the pressures are compounded, certainly 0:06:52.076 --> 0:06:54.916 by social media. I think that that takes a pretty 0:06:54.916 --> 0:06:57.596 special person to try to manage that and keep the 0:06:57.676 --> 0:07:00.436 level head when people are just at you all the time. 0:07:01.116 --> 0:07:03.996 It seems self evident that sports coaching, particularly at the 0:07:03.996 --> 0:07:07.596 elite level, is a stressful business. But as a teacher myself, 0:07:07.916 --> 0:07:09.676 I know that those of us went stry or others 0:07:09.836 --> 0:07:11.636 often think that we should be the ones with all 0:07:11.676 --> 0:07:15.396 the answers. One of the saddest ironies, says Team usa 0:07:15.476 --> 0:07:18.516 is New Guidelines, is that although coaches strive to provide 0:07:18.516 --> 0:07:21.756 an enjoyable and healthy experience for their athletes. Too often 0:07:21.796 --> 0:07:23.756 they approach their job in a manner that has the 0:07:23.796 --> 0:07:27.116 opposite effect on their own well being. Christine says that 0:07:27.156 --> 0:07:29.516 for that to change, coaches need to be okay with 0:07:29.596 --> 0:07:30.396 asking for help. 0:07:30.916 --> 0:07:33.156 So what we want them to do is be able 0:07:33.196 --> 0:07:35.796 to take better care of themselves ahead of time. That 0:07:35.836 --> 0:07:39.516 takes some vulnerability. We're trying to encourage coaches to make 0:07:39.516 --> 0:07:41.516 sure that they have somebody they're talking to that can 0:07:41.556 --> 0:07:44.196 relate to them. Might not be their same sport, might 0:07:44.236 --> 0:07:47.196 not be even in sport, but somebody that they can 0:07:47.396 --> 0:07:51.276 seek and trust and get some input into anything that 0:07:51.276 --> 0:07:54.156 they might be going through. And coaches, they aren't typically 0:07:54.276 --> 0:07:57.596 used to receiving feedback. They're used to giving feedback. So 0:07:57.636 --> 0:08:00.396 it takes a level of vulnerability for sure. We have 0:08:00.436 --> 0:08:03.276 to kind of help them understand that it's okay to 0:08:03.356 --> 0:08:06.036 ask for help, that it's okay to take a break 0:08:06.076 --> 0:08:06.956 every once in a while. 0:08:08.316 --> 0:08:10.916 I was talking to the GIRs for weightlifting coaches actually 0:08:11.036 --> 0:08:14.916 last night. Emily Lasanby also coaches the Hard Pressed Team 0:08:15.036 --> 0:08:19.636 USA coaches. There is a single mom of two young kids, 0:08:19.756 --> 0:08:23.676 and she's got one hundred athletes and she starts at 0:08:23.676 --> 0:08:25.916 four in the morning, and she goes until six pm 0:08:25.956 --> 0:08:29.716 at night, and at night she's got some time with 0:08:29.916 --> 0:08:33.436 her kids, and then she starts all over again because 0:08:33.436 --> 0:08:36.116 I don't have time for myself. I mean, that's a 0:08:36.196 --> 0:08:38.596 luxury and a privilege to me that I don't think 0:08:38.596 --> 0:08:40.596 I'm going to have in this phase of life for 0:08:40.676 --> 0:08:41.516 quite some time. 0:08:42.116 --> 0:08:44.836 Emily's work involves taking the kind of well being lessons 0:08:44.836 --> 0:08:47.076 you hear on the show and tailoring them to the 0:08:47.156 --> 0:08:50.356 needs of people just like that time starved weightlifting coach, 0:08:50.636 --> 0:08:52.396 so that they don't burn out or just quit the 0:08:52.396 --> 0:08:53.396 profession completely. 0:08:54.356 --> 0:08:57.956 Coaching is a field in an industry that has no net. 0:08:58.156 --> 0:09:02.916 There's no union, there's no government agency or anything there 0:09:02.996 --> 0:09:07.676 to support a coach when a performance doesn't happen from 0:09:07.796 --> 0:09:10.636 their athlete or from their team. It's very black and white. 0:09:10.756 --> 0:09:14.916 If they perform, then there's a high likelihood that the 0:09:14.956 --> 0:09:17.836 coach continues on in their role. And if the athlete 0:09:17.876 --> 0:09:22.156 isn't performing, then there's also the likelihood of not continuing. 0:09:22.676 --> 0:09:25.756 And so I think that there is a lot of 0:09:25.836 --> 0:09:30.396 pressure around not having that support net available to them, 0:09:30.596 --> 0:09:34.276 and it just adds to the entire pressure of having 0:09:34.316 --> 0:09:36.596 to stay optimized in a field. 0:09:36.996 --> 0:09:39.636 It's a tough industry to commit to and be part 0:09:39.716 --> 0:09:42.796 of long term. As a happiness scientist, I was really 0:09:42.796 --> 0:09:46.116 impressed reading the well being guidance Emily helped design. It 0:09:46.196 --> 0:09:49.916 specifically addresses the exact kind of stressors that coaches endure 0:09:50.036 --> 0:09:51.316 in their high performance job. 0:09:51.756 --> 0:09:55.516 You're spending your days basically filling everybody else's bucket, right, 0:09:55.756 --> 0:09:58.756 Everyone's needing you all the time. So to find the 0:09:58.836 --> 0:10:04.356 space to actually recover and experience deep breast is a 0:10:04.476 --> 0:10:07.636 very rare thing. So most of our coaches are operating 0:10:07.716 --> 0:10:11.796 either at an acute or chronic stress stage for as 0:10:11.836 --> 0:10:14.516 long as they possibly can. What are some strategies that 0:10:14.556 --> 0:10:17.236 coaches can use to kind of handle stress better. One 0:10:17.236 --> 0:10:19.156 of the first things that we haven't look at is 0:10:19.156 --> 0:10:19.996 is it enhancing? 0:10:20.156 --> 0:10:20.396 Right? 0:10:20.676 --> 0:10:22.716 Many of us look at stress in terms of like, 0:10:22.796 --> 0:10:25.836 it's so bad, right, But if we're able to see 0:10:25.876 --> 0:10:30.276 stress as enhancing, I actually may be able to utilize 0:10:30.276 --> 0:10:33.916 this in a way and help me adapt and persist 0:10:34.036 --> 0:10:36.196 through what it is that I am facing right now, 0:10:36.276 --> 0:10:40.396 this particular challenge, and actually grow from it and maybe 0:10:40.396 --> 0:10:44.396 come out stronger from that adaptation. So I think it's 0:10:44.596 --> 0:10:49.316 sort of looking at what is this stress actually looking 0:10:49.396 --> 0:10:51.276 like in my life, and how do I need to 0:10:51.636 --> 0:10:52.676 approach it differently. 0:10:53.196 --> 0:10:55.476 Another strategy I know you've talked about in a lot 0:10:55.476 --> 0:10:58.756 of your materials is the importance of social connection. In 0:10:58.796 --> 0:11:01.556 one of the articles I read from your group, you 0:11:01.636 --> 0:11:05.116 had talked about filling your network with energy givers. You 0:11:05.156 --> 0:11:07.036 know what are energy givers and why can that be 0:11:07.116 --> 0:11:09.116 so important for helping you to manage stress? 0:11:09.756 --> 0:11:13.196 It's looking at who are the people that bring me 0:11:13.276 --> 0:11:17.036 the most joy? That may not be like completely filling 0:11:17.116 --> 0:11:20.276 up this battery that's depleted right now, but you know, 0:11:20.316 --> 0:11:22.676 who are the ones that I can count on that 0:11:22.756 --> 0:11:25.436 I know when I speak with and spend time with 0:11:25.876 --> 0:11:28.196 that they're there for me and show up for me 0:11:28.236 --> 0:11:31.356 in a way to where I walk away feeling energized. 0:11:31.876 --> 0:11:35.276 So it's surrounding yourself with the people that I think 0:11:35.796 --> 0:11:39.676 create the most energy, particularly during the harder phases of life, 0:11:40.196 --> 0:11:45.196 and maybe setting boundaries around those that tend to take away. 0:11:45.476 --> 0:11:46.916 We know that we're going to have to give a 0:11:46.916 --> 0:11:49.036 certain amount each day, so how is it that we 0:11:49.116 --> 0:11:52.316 can plan to offset that with those people that really 0:11:52.356 --> 0:11:53.276 boost us. 0:11:53.156 --> 0:11:54.916 When we need it. I think this is such a 0:11:54.956 --> 0:11:57.836 fabulous suggestion, because it's not just the idea that we 0:11:57.876 --> 0:11:59.556 talk about a lot in the podcast of kind of 0:11:59.556 --> 0:12:01.876 making sure you're getting social connection, but really kind of 0:12:01.916 --> 0:12:04.556 paying attention to the particular people you seek out and 0:12:04.596 --> 0:12:06.676 making sure those people are kind of the ones that 0:12:06.756 --> 0:12:09.796 are feeding you rather than depleting you over time. Another 0:12:09.836 --> 0:12:11.836 thing you talk a lot about is the importance of 0:12:12.156 --> 0:12:15.156 coaches getting daily physical activity, which felt a little bit 0:12:15.196 --> 0:12:17.036 ironic for me because in my brain, you know, these 0:12:17.036 --> 0:12:19.996 elite coaches are so focused on like exercise and weight 0:12:20.036 --> 0:12:22.156 training and so on, but it kind of sounds like 0:12:22.196 --> 0:12:24.756 that in their own lives these things may fall by 0:12:24.796 --> 0:12:27.036 the wayside in ways that I didn't expect, And so 0:12:27.236 --> 0:12:29.716 what are some of the important benefits of exercise and 0:12:29.756 --> 0:12:31.716 how do you get these busy coaches to get more 0:12:31.756 --> 0:12:35.876 of that kind of movement in their lives. So it's funny. 0:12:35.996 --> 0:12:38.556 So on my call last night with the weightlifting coaches, 0:12:38.956 --> 0:12:42.676 the majority of them their biggest struggle is movement. Some 0:12:42.796 --> 0:12:44.996 are like the stuff that I'm teaching every day, it's 0:12:45.036 --> 0:12:48.636 actually not unsurprising. That's like, just adding more of that 0:12:48.756 --> 0:12:51.996 to their day feels like more, and we want it 0:12:52.076 --> 0:12:56.396 to feel like less right, So it's figuring out I 0:12:56.436 --> 0:13:02.236 think utilizing movement as a way to help set a 0:13:02.316 --> 0:13:05.276 rhythm and a tone for the day. So it's less 0:13:05.276 --> 0:13:08.116 about being as fit as you possibly could be. 0:13:08.276 --> 0:13:11.956 If that's your goal, great, but it's more about. 0:13:11.636 --> 0:13:16.276 Utilizing movement as an asset to help you feel good, 0:13:16.516 --> 0:13:20.276 to help fuel your body and your brain to meet 0:13:20.316 --> 0:13:22.956 the challenges of the day, but then also feel good 0:13:23.036 --> 0:13:26.636 doing it right. And a lot of what we are 0:13:26.676 --> 0:13:30.596 exploring with coaches right now is looking at how they move, 0:13:30.836 --> 0:13:33.276 how they like to incorporate that into their day, when 0:13:33.316 --> 0:13:36.556 they like to do it, and how they utilize it 0:13:36.676 --> 0:13:40.436 as an asset for themselves rather than something that they 0:13:40.516 --> 0:13:44.516 feel like they have to do in order to reach 0:13:44.596 --> 0:13:45.956 some type of fitness goal. 0:13:46.436 --> 0:13:49.116 Another physical activity you talk about with coaches is the 0:13:49.156 --> 0:13:52.356 power of sleep. Why is sleep so essential and what 0:13:52.396 --> 0:13:55.196 are some of the strategies that you've suggested coaches engage 0:13:55.236 --> 0:13:57.876 with to make sure they're kind of protecting their shut eye. 0:13:58.276 --> 0:14:00.596 Yeah, that's the number one for us, I'd say out 0:14:00.596 --> 0:14:04.436 of everything, nutrition, movement, stress, resilience. I mean, all of 0:14:04.476 --> 0:14:08.636 them are significant in their own ways, but as we know, 0:14:08.916 --> 0:14:11.636 the other stuff doesn't really go as well if we're 0:14:11.636 --> 0:14:14.556 not getting sleep. The interesting thing when it comes to 0:14:15.356 --> 0:14:19.516 the Olympic and Paralympic environment is that their sleep is 0:14:19.756 --> 0:14:23.036 a regular all the time. So do you have routines 0:14:23.076 --> 0:14:26.516 set in place that can help you reset after a 0:14:26.556 --> 0:14:29.116 bad night of sleep when sleep pressure has build to 0:14:29.156 --> 0:14:32.036 the point where you are not falling asleep when. 0:14:31.836 --> 0:14:34.876 You want to, or there's jet lag, or you're waking 0:14:34.956 --> 0:14:35.596 up in the night. 0:14:35.876 --> 0:14:39.036 So we teach that skill of all right, here's where 0:14:39.076 --> 0:14:41.956 I'm at today, here's what I can do, and all 0:14:41.996 --> 0:14:44.156 of that is okay, and it's still going to be 0:14:44.196 --> 0:14:46.436 the best I can give. And here's how I'm going 0:14:46.476 --> 0:14:51.036 to reset tonight. And so it's creating that ability to reset. 0:14:50.876 --> 0:14:53.756 Rather than set, Like, what are some of the things 0:14:53.756 --> 0:14:56.076 you suggest for coaches who need to figure out a 0:14:56.116 --> 0:15:00.236 way to reset better? I love Matt Walker's approach to sleep, 0:15:00.356 --> 0:15:03.196 like approaching sleep as if you were landing a plane. 0:15:03.876 --> 0:15:05.836 So we often approach it as if it's like a 0:15:05.916 --> 0:15:07.916 light switch, where it's just all right, I'm going to 0:15:07.996 --> 0:15:10.236 lay down and I got to sleep with in thirty seconds, 0:15:10.556 --> 0:15:14.836 whereas our body and our brain needs that time to 0:15:14.876 --> 0:15:17.396 take the sleep pressure that we've built that day to 0:15:17.556 --> 0:15:20.556 then get it into a place where we're falling into sleep, 0:15:20.756 --> 0:15:22.396 and that can take some time. 0:15:22.916 --> 0:15:25.796 And I love that approach in terms of figuring out 0:15:26.316 --> 0:15:28.476 what that time looks like for you, whether it's thirty 0:15:28.476 --> 0:15:32.916 minutes or sixty minutes or two hours, you know, whatever 0:15:32.996 --> 0:15:35.156 it is that you tend to do, you know, warm 0:15:35.236 --> 0:15:39.516 showers at night, dark room, cool room, no screens, that 0:15:39.636 --> 0:15:42.476 kind of thing, or putting the screen on the opposite 0:15:42.516 --> 0:15:44.836 side of the bedroom so that you don't reach and 0:15:44.876 --> 0:15:46.716 grab it in the middle of the night and you 0:15:46.796 --> 0:15:48.196 look up and there. 0:15:47.996 --> 0:15:49.516 Everything is waiting for you. 0:15:49.836 --> 0:15:53.156 I think all of those have been really wonderful critical 0:15:53.196 --> 0:15:56.036 experiments for us all to play around with to see, 0:15:56.196 --> 0:15:59.116 all right, what is it that really works for me. 0:15:59.636 --> 0:16:02.676 One of the challenges for coaches in terms of protecting 0:16:02.716 --> 0:16:05.396 their well being and sort of maintaining self care is 0:16:05.396 --> 0:16:06.956 that they're kind of in this mode of wanting to 0:16:06.956 --> 0:16:08.916 do it perfectly. They want to, like, you know, have 0:16:08.956 --> 0:16:11.996 the perfect sleep and the perfect nutrition and the perfect exercise. 0:16:12.156 --> 0:16:14.636 But you're talking about these tiny tips that allow you 0:16:14.676 --> 0:16:16.956 to do these sort of things a little bit imperfectly 0:16:17.316 --> 0:16:21.116 but continuously, and so explain why these small additions of 0:16:21.156 --> 0:16:24.636 self care can add up over time in these important ways, 0:16:24.676 --> 0:16:26.876 like why is that so essential to remember that even 0:16:26.916 --> 0:16:29.396 the kind of imperfect attempts at getting some more self 0:16:29.396 --> 0:16:33.076 care can be really critical because I think that's life, right, 0:16:33.196 --> 0:16:36.396 and I think it's a really wonderful way to look 0:16:36.436 --> 0:16:38.196 at it in terms of, all, right, I have some 0:16:38.316 --> 0:16:40.596 agency here to really experiment with. 0:16:41.156 --> 0:16:41.876 Here's what I know. 0:16:41.836 --> 0:16:45.796 What works with me when stuff's hit the fan, right, 0:16:45.956 --> 0:16:48.076 And you know, here's I know what works for me 0:16:48.116 --> 0:16:50.196 when I have a little bit more time to myself 0:16:50.236 --> 0:16:54.476 to recover. It's adapting between you know, your resource pool 0:16:54.516 --> 0:16:56.756 and the challenges that you face every single day. And 0:16:56.796 --> 0:17:00.356 it's the seesaw back and forth of I'm facing this challenge, 0:17:00.396 --> 0:17:02.796 so what do I need to do to offset that. 0:17:03.276 --> 0:17:05.156 I think one of the problems with self care is 0:17:05.156 --> 0:17:07.076 you feel like it has to be one hundred percent. 0:17:07.116 --> 0:17:08.676 I mean, I know, I go through this in my 0:17:08.716 --> 0:17:10.116 own way. You know, I'll be like, you know, this 0:17:10.196 --> 0:17:11.716 is the week that I'm going to get to the gym, 0:17:11.796 --> 0:17:13.156 and you know, Monday, I'll get to the gym, and 0:17:13.156 --> 0:17:15.316 then Tuesday miss out. I was like, well, I've already 0:17:15.396 --> 0:17:17.556 messed up, right, But It's like, no, just one day 0:17:17.556 --> 0:17:19.516 at the gym is better than zero days at the gym. 0:17:19.796 --> 0:17:21.956 Twenty minutes of extra good sleep is better than zero 0:17:22.036 --> 0:17:24.196 minutes of extra good sleep. We sometimes think this has 0:17:24.236 --> 0:17:26.116 to be all or none, and I imagine that in 0:17:26.196 --> 0:17:28.876 high performance individuals like coaches, that's even worse. 0:17:29.196 --> 0:17:31.436 I think it comes down to the ability to look 0:17:31.476 --> 0:17:35.116 at what you're leveraging that day as optimal. Right, So, 0:17:35.316 --> 0:17:38.516 all right, I got four hours of sleep last night. 0:17:39.036 --> 0:17:41.836 I've got ten athletes that I need to coach today, 0:17:42.036 --> 0:17:43.916 or I have a ten hour day that I need 0:17:43.916 --> 0:17:47.676 to get through. I'm at about thirty percent. But here's 0:17:47.756 --> 0:17:51.596 how I'm going to, you know, maximize this twenty five 0:17:51.716 --> 0:17:55.676 thirty percent to get through this day the best way 0:17:55.676 --> 0:17:58.956 that I can. To me, that's high performance. It may 0:17:58.956 --> 0:18:01.876 not be perfect, but it's excellence. And I think that's 0:18:01.916 --> 0:18:05.556 the difference, right, is we're not striving for perfection, we're 0:18:05.596 --> 0:18:10.076 striving for excellence and using the thirty percent that you 0:18:10.196 --> 0:18:13.676 have that day. To me, that's excellence and kind of 0:18:13.716 --> 0:18:16.396 recognizing that you're at thirty percent. And it strikes me 0:18:16.556 --> 0:18:19.156 this is another strategy that you work with coaches on 0:18:19.236 --> 0:18:21.956 a lot, which is just overcoming the stigma of not 0:18:22.036 --> 0:18:25.516 being perfect, like overcoming the stigma of recognizing that you're 0:18:25.556 --> 0:18:27.396 at thirty percent and you might need to ask for 0:18:27.476 --> 0:18:29.676 help or you might need to take a break. Why 0:18:29.796 --> 0:18:31.996 is calling a spade a spait and really recognizing where 0:18:31.996 --> 0:18:34.436 you're at so important? And what are some strategies we 0:18:34.516 --> 0:18:36.636 can use to kind of combat that sense that it 0:18:36.676 --> 0:18:39.476 can be sometimes hard to admit when you're struggling. I 0:18:39.516 --> 0:18:42.956 think the instinct is to avoid, right to just grind 0:18:42.996 --> 0:18:46.396 it out, get it done. So I think right now, 0:18:46.596 --> 0:18:49.516 well being can be tied to unrealistic optimism in a 0:18:49.516 --> 0:18:52.396 lot of ways, where we feel like perfection is part 0:18:52.396 --> 0:18:56.196 of that, but the realistic part of that is that 0:18:56.316 --> 0:18:58.996 you know, this is actually what I can do today, 0:18:59.276 --> 0:19:02.476 This is all I can do, and that's still a lot, 0:19:02.916 --> 0:19:03.476 and it's. 0:19:03.316 --> 0:19:04.716 Okay, and that's great. 0:19:05.316 --> 0:19:07.356 I really like the strategy because I think it's something 0:19:07.396 --> 0:19:09.276 that all of us can use right now. You know, 0:19:09.556 --> 0:19:12.676 we might not be Olympic coaches heading off to Paris, 0:19:12.716 --> 0:19:14.676 but I think all of us have times at work 0:19:14.716 --> 0:19:16.956 when things are a little bit busier, maybe times in 0:19:16.956 --> 0:19:18.836 the school year where you know, as a parent things 0:19:18.876 --> 0:19:21.476 feel more hectic. It sounds like the strategy is really 0:19:21.636 --> 0:19:24.196 like radical acceptance, kind of look at what things really 0:19:24.236 --> 0:19:26.276 are like and to ask the question, Okay, what am 0:19:26.316 --> 0:19:28.156 I going to be capable of? How can I build 0:19:28.196 --> 0:19:28.876 in self care? 0:19:28.916 --> 0:19:30.996 But maybe in a way that's more compassionate, maybe not 0:19:31.036 --> 0:19:33.236 beating myself up for not, I don't know, making the 0:19:33.276 --> 0:19:35.876 healthiest meals during the busiest time or keeping the house 0:19:35.996 --> 0:19:38.316