Speaker 1: You can watch the original episode we'll be discussing in
Speaker 1: every other episode of HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm, including the
Speaker 1: new and final season, on Max. You can also watch
Speaker 1: the video version of the History of Curb Your Enthusiasm
Speaker 1: podcast on Max and YouTube as well. Links available in
Speaker 1: the episode description. All Right, so we are here. It
Speaker 1: is Jeff Garland Enthusiasm. Yes, on the history of Curby Enthusiasm. Yes.
Speaker 2: And I will be enjoying a green jow juice as
Speaker 2: we move along.
Speaker 1: And I am having a water in my Curb Your
Speaker 1: Enthusiasm water bottle.
Speaker 2: I've got a few of those different things, some I
Speaker 2: don't care about. I think the coolest thing we've ever
Speaker 2: gotten is curb Monopoly. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I just got Have you played it yet? I haven't
Speaker 3: opened it.
Speaker 2: I haven't opened it. No, And you know, I'm a
Speaker 2: monopoly freak. That's my favorite game.
Speaker 3: I you know what, Cindy, my daughter noticed it the
Speaker 3: other day and she was like, Oh, can you play
Speaker 3: that at Christmas? I was like, yeah, that'll be fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know who my Monopoly buddy is, Gary Goleman.
Speaker 3: Ah, very funny guy.
Speaker 2: I think I'm going to get all of us to
Speaker 2: sign one and give it to him for his birthday
Speaker 2: next year. He's the sweet I love him. He's one
Speaker 2: of my favorite people on earth.
Speaker 1: That's very nice, funny. So you'll have to bring it
Speaker 1: to New York next time you come.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1: The Boat's Eye Season five, episode two, Man, you know,
Speaker 1: I just watched these and it's just it just feels
Speaker 1: like yesterday. We start out with Larry telling the story.
Speaker 1: We don't know who he's speaking to. He's telling the
Speaker 1: story about his father in the hospital, and then you know,
Speaker 1: tells a hut and then he said, you're adopted.
Speaker 3: He said.
Speaker 1: At first he said you're a doctor. I know I'm
Speaker 1: not a doctor. He said you're adopted. And then we
Speaker 1: see he's talking to Omar Jones and he says.
Speaker 2: To me, you're adopted.
Speaker 4: He said, I think he said that. Maybe he said
Speaker 4: you're a doctor. I don't know, But why would he
Speaker 4: say I'm a doctor. I would know if I'm a doctor.
Speaker 2: What do you think you would until now to tell you?
Speaker 4: Maybe thought he was dying. I'm still not one hundred
Speaker 4: percent sure that he said it.
Speaker 2: So basically, what you're saying is you want me to
Speaker 2: find out if you adopted or not.
Speaker 1: Yes, who is a private detective. He's a black man.
Speaker 2: Ray by Mackay Phifer.
Speaker 3: I believe Mackay Pfeiffer wearing a bow tie.
Speaker 2: Do you know how he ended up doing the show.
Speaker 2: There's always these weird things, tell me, he and I.
Speaker 2: You know, I always turned down these types of shows, always,
Speaker 2: Dann just type shows. I'm getting into it, like the okay,
Speaker 2: forget reality, just these games, showy things. I once did
Speaker 2: family Feud with the Goldbergs versus Blackish.
Speaker 3: That's a promo thing. They make it do well, it was.
Speaker 2: I was actually playing for charity. Yeah, so my charity.
Speaker 2: My charity was fuck cancer and I think they made
Speaker 2: twenty five g's anyhow, That's the only other thing.
Speaker 1: Can I just can I just tell you something, Jeff
Speaker 1: on what was that show? The Millionaire Show? I raised
Speaker 1: one hundred thousand dollars for charity. I was very proud
Speaker 1: of myself.
Speaker 2: And I did another show with Chelsea Handler. She was
Speaker 2: the I was playing against her and she killed me.
Speaker 2: Password hosted by I did Password hosted by Regis Philbin Like, yeah.
Speaker 4: I did that one.
Speaker 2: To the reason I did it is to be near Regis.
Speaker 2: I love Regis by the way, I would have said
Speaker 2: yes to any game show he did.
Speaker 1: By the way you said, Chelsea Handler was your person
Speaker 1: on password?
Speaker 3: Do you know who my other guest was on password?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: It was quite special. Who Betty White?
Speaker 2: Oh? You lucky?
Speaker 3: Fuck very lucky. And my guy won one hundred grand.
Speaker 3: He was my partner. He won a hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 3: That was amazing.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 2: One of the answers was lice, and when I couldn't
Speaker 2: come up with it, blockage Duke had lice at the
Speaker 2: exact same time, but Mackay I was on Celebrity Poker
Speaker 2: with Mackay Pfeiffer and I made it when we were
Speaker 2: playing and we were having a ball. We kicked all
Speaker 2: the other celebrities and whatever. So it's just he and
Speaker 2: I playing at the end, you know, to go to
Speaker 2: the big game, and we had a ball. We connected,
Speaker 2: really liked each other. Well, this part came up and
Speaker 2: I just said, can we have Mackay Fifer do it?
Speaker 2: And everyone said yes. And by the way, you watch
Speaker 2: it and you go, that guy's a star. And I
Speaker 2: haven't seen him in anything in a while. I don't
Speaker 2: know what's going on. I haven't talked to him. I
Speaker 2: actually careers. Oh no, No, that's the thing you have
Speaker 2: to tell a young comedian that they need to know
Speaker 2: this that I don't care how successful you are in
Speaker 2: either acting music. You know, look at the family. You know,
Speaker 2: John Travolta had a big low. So that's just alone
Speaker 2: big low. Arnold was governor, so I wouldn't call that
Speaker 2: a big low. But and they're back up now I'm saying,
Speaker 2: it's like, I don't care how big you are. Tom Cruise.
Speaker 2: I had a space and time where he wasn't what
Speaker 2: he is now again, and it's always a roller coaster,
Speaker 2: and I'm hoping that there's not a big roller coaster
Speaker 2: for me in my there is.
Speaker 3: Oh you're a little old for that. At this point,
Speaker 3: I think old for a roller coaster.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you know, you reach a certain age
Speaker 1: and you reach a certain thing, and you know.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I have no idea what I mean.
Speaker 3: Your career is established, yes, stablish.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing. I'm a comedian and I'm a photographer.
Speaker 2: Those are the two things that I do that create money.
Speaker 2: My photography has been charity and comedy. I do charity events,
Speaker 2: but my dream is in the future as a whatever
Speaker 2: I decide, I'm always going to do stand up until
Speaker 2: I can't do it anymore. And I'm also going to
Speaker 2: do photography intil I can. But that's my dream combo.
Speaker 2: And if I got called for something, unless it's a
Speaker 2: great piece of material, I'm never doing another TV series.
Speaker 2: And I can do a limited series that like an
Speaker 2: awesome one, but I'm retired from TV series. Unless Larry goes,
Speaker 2: I want to do this series I'm in. So it
Speaker 2: would take something like that.
Speaker 1: But you know, talking about people who have had late renaissances,
Speaker 1: Betty White is somebody.
Speaker 3: Who had a later in life renissana.
Speaker 2: And she was really big in the seventies. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: mean I think of her on the Mary Tyler Moore show.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you. I'll tell you a story, the password
Speaker 3: story about her. This shows what a pro she was.
Speaker 1: So she was in her nineties by this point when
Speaker 1: I did this celebrity password with her, and she.
Speaker 3: Was hard of hearing. I mean, she was so sharp
Speaker 3: and so with it, but she was hard of hearing.
Speaker 2: Till the end. Anywhere she shot, she was amazing.
Speaker 1: So her dressing room was right next to mine, and
Speaker 1: the woman who was. Her assistant had to speak really
Speaker 1: loud so that she could hear, so I overheard everything.
Speaker 1: And Betty asked her who was the other celebrity, and
Speaker 1: she said Susie Esmand and she said, I don't know
Speaker 1: who she is. She she said she's in Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Speaker 1: And Betty said, oh, I don't really like that show.
Speaker 1: And the assistant said, well, she's very funny in it.
Speaker 3: She is.
Speaker 1: She has a big mouth, she's always cursing and blah
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah blah. So then I meet
Speaker 1: Betty for the first time and she couldn't you know,
Speaker 1: she was lovely. She couldn't have been more gracious, and
Speaker 1: she said to me, Susie, Oh, I'm so happy to
Speaker 1: meet you. I love the show. Please tell everyone on
Speaker 1: the show. I said, hello, and watch your mouth. She said,
Speaker 1: and watch your mouth. So she knew immediately, Wow, to
Speaker 1: develop rapport with me because we were going to be
Speaker 1: working together.
Speaker 2: You have no choice. You cannot be you can't come
Speaker 2: out I don't really like the show. Don't even say
Speaker 2: you've never said it.
Speaker 3: Show was not insulted at all. I found it funny.
Speaker 2: You would have loved your either way. But holy but
Speaker 2: I found it.
Speaker 1: I said, Okay, this is a pro who's going to
Speaker 1: be working with me now for the next two three hours,
Speaker 1: and she's going to develop a rapport with me, and
Speaker 1: she knew exactly what to say.
Speaker 3: I just found it so amusing.
Speaker 2: I don't think she probably fell in love with you
Speaker 2: as the program.
Speaker 3: We had a great time.
Speaker 1: We had a great, great time, and I was thrilled
Speaker 1: to have had that experience with her.
Speaker 2: By the way, a lot of times I found in
Speaker 2: show business the people who irritate me the most when
Speaker 2: I meet them at a party, I fall in love
Speaker 2: with them. There's a couple of examples of people I
Speaker 2: just couldn't watch them anymore. They just buged me.
Speaker 3: They irritate you on screen, yes, on.
Speaker 2: Screen, And by the way, they all had talent, I
Speaker 2: just the way they were using it, and numerous people.
Speaker 2: But then you go to a party and they're there,
Speaker 2: and your own oh no, so and so is here,
Speaker 2: and somehow you get together, either in a group or
Speaker 2: single and they're the best person that.
Speaker 3: Could work the other way around, What do you mean?
Speaker 1: There could be people who you really admire their work
Speaker 1: and then you meet them and their assholes.
Speaker 2: Oh that is, you know, her ainting one of my
Speaker 2: two mentors, Harold Ramis and pal Mazerski. I was very
Speaker 2: lucky to have both of them. And Harold Ramis always
Speaker 2: said to me. He kept saying, you don't want to
Speaker 2: meet your heroes, especially in comedy, you don't want to
Speaker 2: meet your heroes. And I've had that experience and nothing
Speaker 2: to be said.
Speaker 1: However, I met my hero in the last season, mel Brooks,
Speaker 1: and he couldn't have been lovelier.
Speaker 3: So they you go, yeah, yeah, no, you no one.
Speaker 2: No, No, I'm not saying it's everyone. I'm saying there's exceptions.
Speaker 2: Mel Brooks would certainly be one. But I am saying
Speaker 2: that I've had the situation with I was excited.
Speaker 3: And you shouldn't. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1: So here we are with Omar Jones, the private investigator,
Speaker 1: and Larry's telling him he wants him to find out
Speaker 1: if he's adopted, and Omar Jones says, well, how did
Speaker 1: you find out about me? And Larry said, there was
Speaker 1: a big article about you and everybody said you were
Speaker 1: the best, and Omar Jones says, look, I serve the
Speaker 1: community and you don't really qualify for being a part
Speaker 1: of my community.
Speaker 3: It's just a white guy.
Speaker 1: And Larry, being the totally tone deaf character that he is,
Speaker 1: starts trying to convince Omar Jones that.
Speaker 3: He he can.
Speaker 1: He said he'll call a bingo game, he'll donate old sneakers.
Speaker 2: Totally Mackay right away goes, I don't think those will
Speaker 2: be of health now, But I don't think sneakers I
Speaker 2: think is funny. But him calling a bingo game as
Speaker 2: a suggestion awesome.
Speaker 1: And then he says he could be a big brother,
Speaker 1: and Omar Jones says he'll talk to the community leaders.
Speaker 1: But then of course, Life says, but you know, just
Speaker 1: like one time, I'll just take a kid once to
Speaker 1: a movie.
Speaker 3: Is it not like a continual? It's true to his character.
Speaker 1: Then he asks Omar Jones for key to the men's room,
Speaker 1: and then he says that mister Jones, I love the
Speaker 1: bow tie because he's wearing a bow tie. And Larry's
Speaker 1: in the bathroom and all the stalls are filled except
Speaker 1: the handicap stall is empty, and Larry uses the handicap
Speaker 1: stall and he comes out and there is a guy
Speaker 1: in a chair very angry at him for using the
Speaker 1: handicapped stall.
Speaker 2: What are you doing using the bathroom?
Speaker 3: That's my stall?
Speaker 2: Did you see that the placard on the ses?
Speaker 4: I know, but somebody was using the other one, so I, well,
Speaker 4: then you wait.
Speaker 2: I couldn't wait. It was an emergency.
Speaker 6: I had to go.
Speaker 4: There's one stall for me, and you're it. You know,
Speaker 4: if you were here, I would have given you first nips.
Speaker 4: But honestly, I haven't seen a handicapped person in the
Speaker 4: bathroom maybe ever, so I thought I could perhaps take
Speaker 4: my chance to.
Speaker 2: A handicap person.
Speaker 4: That's nice.
Speaker 2: Oh that's nice. It's called disabled disabled. That doesn't sound
Speaker 2: so hot, by the way, I just want in former viewers.
Speaker 2: I don't care about political correctness, but I do care
Speaker 2: about respect, and that's not what they call it anymore.
Speaker 3: Handicapped, Well, that's we're going to get to that.
Speaker 2: They call it, oh yeah, because they argue. Yeah, But
Speaker 2: back then it was that adjustment in names like also
Speaker 2: mentally challenged, mentally retarded. You know, yeah, that exchange. You know,
Speaker 2: you spend thirty years using the wrong word and it
Speaker 2: goes to something else. But you have to respect people
Speaker 2: and you have to accept it.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 1: So the guy in the wheelchair that we don't have
Speaker 1: a nighbors says, it's not a handicapped person, it's called disabled.
Speaker 2: I want to say, for our show, except for one occasion,
Speaker 2: I think everybody who's in a wheelchair is a paraplegic, etc.
Speaker 2: Like we used real people, you know. It wasn't like
Speaker 2: an actor can walk all around sitting in a wheel.
Speaker 3: And then sits in a wheelchair. Yeah, we'll be right back.
Speaker 1: Stay tuned, and we're back, and Larry prefers handicapped. And
Speaker 1: then Larry is with you and questions to black men
Speaker 1: who wear bow ties?
Speaker 3: Are they always Muslim?
Speaker 2: How do I spun?
Speaker 1: I think you say that you think they are generally,
Speaker 1: You're not sure. You're not sure. And then Larry is
Speaker 1: he's a guy who pulls in. He's outside, he pulls into.
Speaker 2: A Tom Virtue. Tom Virtue a great, great actor. Yeah,
Speaker 2: great character actor. You've seen him in a million things.
Speaker 2: He's always great. He was really good in Green Book.
Speaker 2: He played the maitre d who wouldn't let him in,
Speaker 2: and it was all Yes, a gentle Southern accent which
Speaker 2: he doesn't have. And he has a special accent that's
Speaker 2: coming up.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, because Larry that this guy Tom what's his name,
Speaker 1: Tom Virtue? Tom Virtue parks in the disabled spot whatever, and.
Speaker 3: Larry calls him out on it, and he says, what.
Speaker 2: It's with the walking?
Speaker 6: Fuck you?
Speaker 5: I have a stutter, Yeah, but you can walk. Look
Speaker 5: at my license plate. I have permission, fucking brick.
Speaker 1: Fuck you, I have a stutter. And he has a
Speaker 1: handicapped plate or a disabled plate. Then he's in the
Speaker 1: restaurant with you, well.
Speaker 2: By the way, and it is a really hysterical moment,
Speaker 2: and Larry thinking up the idea, what would be an
Speaker 2: impediment that's not big enough and has nothing to do
Speaker 2: with walking or.
Speaker 1: Drive with and driving of course nothing. And then he's
Speaker 1: in the restaurant with you and he tells you that
Speaker 1: they got a dog. And Jody Funkhauser played by mayam
Speaker 1: Bi Alec, we were talking about game shows before Jeopardy
Speaker 1: host also she starred on The Big Bang Theory.
Speaker 3: And then she she's an interesting woman.
Speaker 1: She left the business I recall to be a neuroscientist
Speaker 1: and then came back. She sees them and she just
Speaker 1: goes crazy over Larry.
Speaker 3: She ignores you completely.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, hi, Jeff, Larry Larry, Larry, and she's
Speaker 1: like crazy over Larry and barely says hello to you.
Speaker 3: And she's there with her dad, Marty Funkouser.
Speaker 1: She's Marty funkauser's daughter, and she he says, are you're
Speaker 1: coming to the party, to the twenty fifth anniversary reporting
Speaker 1: you're like I am, and she just could care less
Speaker 1: what you're doing, and she's all over Larry.
Speaker 3: And then we find out when she leaves lesbians love Larry.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm really upset, I said, do you notice? Did
Speaker 2: you notice she could barely handle me being there and
Speaker 2: ignore me, but she was happy to see you.
Speaker 3: Oh that's up.
Speaker 2: Larry to say, lesbians love.
Speaker 1: Me, lesbians love him, and you say friend, oh, lesbians
Speaker 1: friend o Lesbians.
Speaker 3: They completely embrace him.
Speaker 1: And as he's talking to you, he discovers the men's
Speaker 1: room key in his pocket and he sees a guy
Speaker 1: in a bow tie and he says, you know, that's
Speaker 1: a smart look, baby, I'm gonna start wearing a bow tie.
Speaker 1: And then Marty comes over to the booth and says,
Speaker 1: are you coming to the party, and he says, Larry's
Speaker 1: on the fence.
Speaker 3: You know, Larry, he doesn't like to go to.
Speaker 2: A party, old none classic Bob, are you coming pa
Speaker 2: the party? No, No, it's gonna be great, it'll be
Speaker 2: the greatest. You'll have a ball, you know. That was
Speaker 2: so that's Bob offstage too, you know, the enthusiast.
Speaker 1: I remember shooting that scene at the party with him
Speaker 1: that day and we were laughing. So if we were
Speaker 1: in uncontrollable laughter that day, I just remember it.
Speaker 2: Well. By the way, remember the thing that he always did,
Speaker 2: he'd call you. That's the joke that we'll get to.
Speaker 2: That is my favorite. It's one of my favorite jokes
Speaker 2: of all time. But after filming, he would call you, I, Larry,
Speaker 2: we all got this phone call. Wasn't that great? Wasn't
Speaker 2: that great? That scene was great? And we all got
Speaker 2: that call and I miss it. Miss It's so painful,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: So he tells Larry that Rosie O'Donnell is coming, and
Speaker 1: she's sitting next to Larry.
Speaker 2: By the way, that premise is awesome. Well nowhere it goes.
Speaker 2: It's just so funny. He's and Larry's excited.
Speaker 1: Yeah he's a and then he's like, Okay, I'm gonna come.
Speaker 1: He's thinking about coming, and Larry tells him that they
Speaker 1: saw Jody. Jody looks great, and Marty tells him she's
Speaker 1: dating a guy and it's serious and she's no longer gay,
Speaker 1: and Larry overly enthusiastic.
Speaker 4: It's fantastic, congratulations, good for you.
Speaker 2: She's not a lesbian anymore.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, good doing.
Speaker 2: I'll see you soon.
Speaker 3: Hey, I'll see at the party. That's fantastic. She's not
Speaker 3: a lesbian anymore.
Speaker 1: And you see Marty's face, just that drop of his face,
Speaker 1: and he's not happy. And then Larry walks into the
Speaker 1: house and Cheryl was standing there, and Cheryl says.
Speaker 3: We need to talk.
Speaker 2: It's over.
Speaker 3: What's over marriage?
Speaker 2: Why would our marriage be over? He said, we need
Speaker 2: to talk.
Speaker 7: Yeah, we need to.
Speaker 3: Talk about Marty fan Kauser's party.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, I thought I forget it.
Speaker 1: I know what you think.
Speaker 4: Well, you know you said we need to talk. Generally,
Speaker 4: when couples break up, that's how they introduce it. You know,
Speaker 4: we need to talk. So I just thought it.
Speaker 1: Was well, why would why would you even think that?
Speaker 2: This is one of the most subtle, funny scenes I've
Speaker 2: ever seen.
Speaker 1: And Larry's respond says, what it's over? If the marriage
Speaker 1: is over? And she's like, why would our marriage be over? No,
Speaker 1: we need to talk about whether or not we're going
Speaker 1: to go to funk houses party. I need to RSVP
Speaker 1: And she's like, why would you think that?
Speaker 3: And he said, well, in all my past relationships, when
Speaker 3: a woman says to me we need to talk, that
Speaker 3: means they're breaking up with me.
Speaker 1: But Cheryl notices that he lit up, you know. She's like, well,
Speaker 1: why would you look light up like that? He says, well,
Speaker 1: just a defense mechaicine them. And she's like, are we going?
Speaker 1: And Rosie's going to be at our table and I
Speaker 1: might wear a boat's tie. They decide they're going to go,
Speaker 1: and then this is a knock at the door and
Speaker 1: it's Wanda. She wants to look at their new house.
Speaker 1: And their new houses are rental because their other house
Speaker 1: is being renovated, and Wanda doesn't like it.
Speaker 3: It's it's cold like a hotel.
Speaker 1: And she tells Larry to put on a bellman's cap
Speaker 1: and Larry asks her, wander, let me.
Speaker 3: Ask you a question.
Speaker 1: Is it wrong to assume a black man wearing a
Speaker 1: bow tie is a Muslim?
Speaker 3: And want it gets pistol.
Speaker 1: And she's she's like, I'm not your link to the
Speaker 1: black community. Stop asking me about black people. And this
Speaker 1: is something that white people tend to do. I think
Speaker 1: ask about black people, you ask black people questions, like
Speaker 1: when white people see a black person, they immediately think
Speaker 1: about race, you know, and ask them about race.
Speaker 3: I've had black friends tell me this.
Speaker 2: Well, but by the way is we both have and
Speaker 2: have worked with numerous people of color. I disagree, and
Speaker 2: I'll tell you why. When I see someone in a wheelchair,
Speaker 2: I actually talk to them about everything. I asked questions
Speaker 2: and they're thrilled to answer. Nobody asked them.
Speaker 1: Well, you're not disagreeing with me, You're just saying that
Speaker 1: you don't do that well.
Speaker 2: But I'm saying, like, for example, one night, a guy
Speaker 2: was in the audience and I may have talked about
Speaker 2: this before. A guy was in the audience in the
Speaker 2: front row, and I'm talking to him and I said
Speaker 2: to him, what's the thing when you're on the spectrum,
Speaker 2: but you're not all the way as Asperger's. So he's
Speaker 2: talking and I go, you have asked burgers, don't you?
Speaker 2: And he goes, yeah, how did you know? I go,
Speaker 2: I just figured out he was thrilled that I pointed
Speaker 2: out he had asked burgers and he could talk about it.
Speaker 2: But I think, and I don't question it. It's my
Speaker 2: mind thinking like a child. A child would think twice
Speaker 2: to ask a question, and I think that that's the
Speaker 2: part of that.
Speaker 3: It's the beauty of children.
Speaker 2: So it keeps me funny in terms of as a
Speaker 2: comedian that I'm not afraid. Certainly there's an appropriate questions
Speaker 2: and I don't ask those.
Speaker 1: But nonetheless, so he says to Wanda, have you ever
Speaker 1: seen a black man wearing a bow tie who's not
Speaker 1: a Muslim?
Speaker 3: And she doesn't want any part of this conversation.
Speaker 1: Show says, I got a dog, and Wanta says that's
Speaker 1: why she came over. And the dog sees Wanda and
Speaker 1: growls and barks, and then a worker comes out and
Speaker 1: the dog is very, very friendly, and then a black
Speaker 1: worker comes out and the dog barks, and Wanda comes
Speaker 1: to the clusion that you have a racist dog.
Speaker 7: You have a racist doll. The dog hates black people. Wanda, there,
Speaker 7: you trained the dog behave.
Speaker 4: Boe oh, I didn't train it to hate black people.
Speaker 7: Has it barked at any white people?
Speaker 3: No, He's he's exactly your dog is racist Sheriff's racist sheriff.
Speaker 7: That's a perfect name for a racist dog. Let you
Speaker 7: get this dog the clan meeting or something.
Speaker 1: You got a clan dog. He's looking at me like
Speaker 1: I'm a t bone. And that's established that the dog
Speaker 1: does not like black people. And then we are at
Speaker 1: the funk Houser's twenty fifth anniversary party.
Speaker 3: And Larry is in fact wearing a bow tie and
Speaker 3: where are all you?
Speaker 1: And I and some other people and Larry and Chell
Speaker 1: are at the table and the waiter is giving us
Speaker 1: the specials, and we're trying to order, and there's a
Speaker 1: table next to us, very loud, laughing, having fun. It's
Speaker 1: a black family and they're loud, and Larry leans over
Speaker 1: and asks them to keep it down, and the guy
Speaker 1: who's at the head of the table gets very offended
Speaker 1: and says, we need to keep it down for Tucker
Speaker 1: Carlson over here. Now, what I found interesting was the
Speaker 1: Tucker Carlson reference, because Tucker Carlson is an evil, fucking, creepy,
Speaker 1: disgusting human being. At that time, he was not so
Speaker 1: much at that time, he was on crossfire, and he
Speaker 1: was just like a conservative. It's like when we did
Speaker 1: when we did that episode about the producers a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks ago, and Katie Huffman has a picture of
Speaker 1: George W.
Speaker 3: Bush and her in her dress.
Speaker 2: Change just evolved into what we have now.
Speaker 1: So then he sees a lesbian character played by our
Speaker 1: dear friend su Kolinsky, who I endore seeing was somebody
Speaker 1: that we did stand up with in New York from many,
Speaker 1: many years ago.
Speaker 2: When I was a young comedian, really young comedian. She
Speaker 2: saw something in me and she was so kind and
Speaker 2: supportive to me. Whenever I worked with her, I was
Speaker 2: just thrilled.
Speaker 3: She was just she's a great You.
Speaker 2: Know, you remember everyone that's really nice to you and
Speaker 2: everyone that's really horrible. And the best thing is when
Speaker 2: the horrible people who've treated you like crap once you're
Speaker 2: successful change their tune. You don't let them know, You
Speaker 2: don't give them that satisfaction. You let them keep on
Speaker 2: with their lyne you know, yoh great, Yeah, the good
Speaker 2: old times. I can say you never booked me.
Speaker 3: But Sue Keolinski was not one of those. No, she
Speaker 3: was someone who she was a good guy still is.
Speaker 2: Especially for a young comedian and I started at twenty.
Speaker 2: I'm talking back then. I mean an established comedian as
Speaker 2: being kind to me and likes me. There were others,
Speaker 2: but I always remember Sue, and I love Sue.
Speaker 3: And Sue.
Speaker 1: Larry waves to her and she ices him, and then
Speaker 1: we do a little turn around the room and we
Speaker 1: see all the other lesbians giving him dirty looks. And
Speaker 1: Larry goes over to Sue, and she's like, what's the snub?
Speaker 1: And she tells him that the fact that he got
Speaker 1: so excited that Jody Funkhouse was not with women anymore,
Speaker 1: that all the lesbians are really really upset, you know,
Speaker 1: And she says.
Speaker 3: He used to be such a liberal guy.
Speaker 1: Larryber No, what would you look like?
Speaker 3: Look at the boat Tielet just tried.
Speaker 6: It out a boat tie.
Speaker 2: Excuse me, excuse me?
Speaker 6: You know what.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, you know, don't even waste your time talking
Speaker 2: to this man. This man is a racist. He has
Speaker 2: a racist dog.
Speaker 3: He has a dog that attacks black people.
Speaker 2: Okay, I do the dog. He is racist, but I
Speaker 2: didn't train him to be racist.
Speaker 6: He's just forget about it.
Speaker 2: How do you know that?
Speaker 1: Because we talk Larry, and then Larry goes over to
Speaker 1: Marty funkas who He's like, what did you tell Jody?
Speaker 1: And and Marty says, I told her you were overjoyed,
Speaker 1: and I was giving you the benefit.
Speaker 3: I don't need the benefit.
Speaker 1: They get into the whole benefit thing and then Larry says,
Speaker 1: where's Rosie O'Donnell? And Marty says, she's not here, he's
Speaker 1: it's not here now and they do a staredown.
Speaker 3: Larry and Marty do a staredown.
Speaker 2: That was a staredown that must have been at least
Speaker 2: a dozen takes because Larry couldn't get through it.
Speaker 3: You can't do a stare down with those two without
Speaker 3: a dozen.
Speaker 2: No no, no, no no, but Bob and you can see
Speaker 2: at the end the face Bob makes that ends it
Speaker 2: is just wow, you know, hilarious.
Speaker 3: Bobby was you know, the dead pan king.
Speaker 1: Right, we'll be right back, stay tuned, and we're back,
Speaker 1: and then I love this next thing. Bob calls over Dan,
Speaker 1: who is Jody's new boyfriend, and introduces him to Larry,
Speaker 1: not Bob, Marty. Marty then walks away and Larry starts
Speaker 1: a whole riff with Dan, Jody Funkus's boyfriend, about how
Speaker 1: he admires him to have to have to overcome the
Speaker 1: actor's name.
Speaker 2: I believe Marcus Redmond who played the black kneman.
Speaker 3: At the table, that is his name. Who he is?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean he was a great guy and a
Speaker 2: wonderful actor.
Speaker 3: Is is is?
Speaker 1: And Larry starts this whole riff with Jody's new boyfriend, Dan.
Speaker 4: Terrific and to have to overcome the whole situation, the
Speaker 4: whole sexual thing, you know.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, Yeah, there's not overcome really well.
Speaker 4: No, you know the fact that she's been with women before.
Speaker 4: You know, I'd be really intimidated by that, because you know,
Speaker 4: we really intimidated, well because we don't know what we're
Speaker 4: doing as much as women though. You know, it's their equipment.
Speaker 4: They own the equipment, so they know what to do
Speaker 4: with it. You know what's going on down there. I
Speaker 4: don't want any idea to think that the whole area
Speaker 4: is so mysterious to me. You know, I'm just saying
Speaker 4: it's a lot of I'd be intimidated, and I know that.
Speaker 1: And you see Dan starting to think about it and
Speaker 1: starting to take in what Larry's saying, and he never
Speaker 1: thought about this before, and we just know, no good
Speaker 1: is going to come from.
Speaker 2: You, because for myself, I don't want to say I
Speaker 2: can say a lot of men feel this way. The
Speaker 2: vagina is very mysterious and overwhelming.
Speaker 3: Is it really?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, oh my god? What do you touch?
Speaker 2: How do you do it? The whole festival very overwhelming.
Speaker 2: And I also found that different women, their vaginas look different,
Speaker 2: and they have different likes with their vagina and the vaginas.
Speaker 1: But that's true with penises as well, Jeff, I think
Speaker 1: men's penises.
Speaker 2: Different vaginas are delightful, men's penises are an embarrassment.
Speaker 3: Well, vaginas are much more complicated with.
Speaker 2: The vagina vagina, penis, vagina, vagina's got a nice ring
Speaker 2: to unless you're doing the monologues.
Speaker 1: Even then, next Larry's at the table, at our table,
Speaker 1: and he wants to go home. He needs to go
Speaker 1: to the bathroom, and it's this project demands. I need
Speaker 1: my base. He needs to go home, And Cheryl tells
Speaker 1: Larry she doesn't want to go home, and she thinks
Speaker 1: it's ridiculous, and he says, no, you're gentile. You can
Speaker 1: go in the middle of Fifth Avenue. It's different for Jews,
Speaker 1: which I always remember that line and I say to him,
Speaker 1: you can't leave before dessert. It's an affair, you know,
Speaker 1: that's the rules. The rules don't apply to you. You
Speaker 1: are not see now on this. I am on me,
Speaker 1: Susie Esmond is on Larry's side. I don't subscribe to
Speaker 1: any of those rules either that you know these things,
Speaker 1: these social laceties that made up or that true. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: that's that people will tell you can't leave, like you
Speaker 1: can't leave a wedding before the wedding cake is cut,
Speaker 1: you know the web cakes.
Speaker 2: But mind you, I'm diabetic, so why wouldn't I be
Speaker 2: allowed to leave before dessert served?
Speaker 1: Because it's not about your your diabetes or your sweetness
Speaker 1: or eating it or not. It's about that. That's the
Speaker 1: end of the evening, the affair. That's when you're allowed
Speaker 1: to leave.
Speaker 2: If I'm waiting to, if I may, there's an open bar.
Speaker 2: Many people are drunk.
Speaker 1: I'm leaving, Jeff, you have no argument for me. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying this is protocol.
Speaker 2: By the way, the number one thing outside of comedian alcoholics,
Speaker 2: the number one just hated thing by comedians. Don't approach
Speaker 2: a comedian if you're drunk. But then again, with your
Speaker 2: If you're drunk, you're not taking the pause that I'm
Speaker 2: mentioning right now, but having the discussions even of how
Speaker 2: good I was, hate it, what I made it. Drunk
Speaker 2: people in Friday late shows, which contain the most struck and.
Speaker 1: Drunk people, also think that when you're on stage and
Speaker 1: they start shouting things out there helping you, well, you're correct.
Speaker 2: But I'm talking off stage. They talked.
Speaker 1: So Larry then goes to the men's room and is
Speaker 1: a line and he goes to the handicapped stall, the
Speaker 1: disabled stall to.
Speaker 6: Go into the fricks.
Speaker 1: And all the guys in line say you can't go there,
Speaker 1: and he starts stuttering.
Speaker 3: He's like, I stutter and he starts stuttering. Does it work?
Speaker 2: He lives by the way, by the way, awesome, awesome callback.
Speaker 3: Yeah, awesome callback, And it's not over. And then they're
Speaker 3: at home.
Speaker 1: It's the next day. Cheryl leaves and she says, don't
Speaker 1: forget to take the dog out, and the phone rings
Speaker 1: and it's Omar Jones and he's thinking about taking the case,
Speaker 1: but he says, I got a disturbing call today about
Speaker 1: your behavior at the banquet. Did you tell you know
Speaker 1: a brother in the next table to keep it down.
Speaker 1: And Larry's like, how do you know about that? And
Speaker 1: he says, we talk, we talk.
Speaker 2: We know it was built to something. But you know what,
Speaker 2: I like logic. I'm a big fan of it in things.
Speaker 2: This was just so different. It didn't bother me at
Speaker 2: all that they everyone knew of whatever group, lesbians or
Speaker 2: black people, that they all talk and they knew. I think, Oh,
Speaker 2: by the way, if you're a notable person and you
Speaker 2: behave in a certain way, it will get out, it
Speaker 2: will spread.
Speaker 3: Yes, but that's not the That was not the conceit
Speaker 3: of this.
Speaker 2: Right, But I'm not conceit. No, But it happened instantly.
Speaker 2: That's the point I'm making.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because they talk.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And also Omar Jones mentions to Larry that he went
Speaker 1: home with the bathroom cake, right. And then Sheriff is
Speaker 1: tied up outside, Sheriff the dog up outside the restaurant.
Speaker 1: He's in a restaurant with you, and the dog is
Speaker 1: barking at a lot of black people.
Speaker 3: And the lesbian waitress is so nice to Larry.
Speaker 1: She offers him a free dessert and she's like, nice
Speaker 1: to have you back, Larry, and.
Speaker 3: He's you say to him, you're back in the lesbian bosom.
Speaker 1: There's a montage of lesbians just clling out him, glowing
Speaker 1: at him, and he says that, you know.
Speaker 3: I wonder why.
Speaker 1: And Marty then knocks on the window door and calls
Speaker 1: him out and he says.
Speaker 3: What did you say to Dan?
Speaker 1: And apparently Dan was totally flummixed by Larry's conversation with him,
Speaker 1: and he broke up with Jody, and Jody is back
Speaker 1: with a woman now.
Speaker 3: And then he also says, you left before dessert. It's
Speaker 3: not the proper etiquette.
Speaker 1: And he wanted Larry to make a toast and he said,
Speaker 1: I said.
Speaker 3: Is Larry David here? I want him to make a toast?
Speaker 1: And people said Larry David went home to take a shit,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 4: And then Larry.
Speaker 1: Runs into Rosie o'donald and she said, you know, she heard,
Speaker 1: she heard everything that happened because they talk and.
Speaker 2: She wants uses the term at the meeting.
Speaker 3: At the meeting, she said, they had a meeting. She said,
Speaker 3: I stood up at the meeting. I told everybody I
Speaker 3: know the guy I vouch for you, You're all right,
Speaker 3: You're you're something on, come on. It all worked out right,
Speaker 3: it's great.
Speaker 7: Listen.
Speaker 3: She's happy. We're happy, you know, she's back on the team.
Speaker 2: Everything's good.
Speaker 3: Don't we even think about it?
Speaker 1: Fat And he says, no, I missed you at the
Speaker 1: funk House party and she says, what, oh, JODI's father.
Speaker 1: I don't really know him. And he says, you weren't invited.
Speaker 1: She said no, no, I wasn't invited. So Marty was
Speaker 1: a fucking liar about that. Rosey wasn't even invited to
Speaker 1: the party. And she leaves and she says, all lesbians
Speaker 1: love you. Everything's fixed. And then he goes to Omar's
Speaker 1: apartment at Omar's office amar Jones's office to return the key,
Speaker 1: and Omar is on his little prayer rug on his knees,
Speaker 1: praying facing east, and he's like, ah, oh I see.
Speaker 2: And then the idea that Larry sits down right in
Speaker 2: front of him, maybe a foot away, is really funny.
Speaker 1: And he does that very Jewish things like it's for good,
Speaker 1: go go pray, pray, you know, and then he asks
Speaker 1: him a brother's insist is sensitive to being told to
Speaker 1: keep it down, And then Omar folds up the man
Speaker 1: and he says, oh, you fold that up.
Speaker 3: Like a yoga mat.
Speaker 2: Like it's not an observation. He does another question, it's
Speaker 2: like a yoga mat, right, you.
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, yeah, and and Omar tells, h listen, Muslims
Speaker 1: are forgiving people. And I'm going to take your case,
Speaker 1: but I'm going to charge you all higher rate. And
Speaker 1: he goes to shake and said he says, the Muslims shake,
Speaker 1: and he returns the bathroom key. And he says, oh wait,
Speaker 1: but first I have to go to the bathroom. And
Speaker 1: the stalls, the stalls fall, but the handicappedtall is empty.
Speaker 1: And the same guy in the wheelchair comes out of
Speaker 1: what they they are calling I am not calling the
Speaker 1: normal toilet And well.
Speaker 2: No, no, you can say, you know, you have to
Speaker 2: say that the normal type.
Speaker 1: But you can also Larry says, we don't like to
Speaker 1: be referred to as normal. We are able bodied. That's
Speaker 1: from the eighties. And then he says, and then you wait,
Speaker 1: you wait, so it's a complete callback. And he goes
Speaker 1: out and he gets sheriff the dog, and Omar comes
Speaker 1: out and starts walking towards him because Larry forgot the
Speaker 1: bathroom key again, forgot to give him back the bathroom key.
Speaker 1: And you see Larry's panicked because Omar said he was
Speaker 1: going to take the case and he wants Omer to
Speaker 1: take the case.
Speaker 2: And then Omar is coming in shots slow motion.
Speaker 3: Slow motion, and Larry's very afraid. Sheriff does go after him, and.
Speaker 2: It's actually one of those things as an audience, you're going,
Speaker 2: what the fuck's gonna happen?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you know that Sheriff is a racist dog,
Speaker 1: and we saw it in the scene before, is barking
Speaker 1: at black people outside the restaurant, and Larry's very worried.
Speaker 1: And then finally Omar comes over and he pets Sheriff
Speaker 1: and everything is fine, and he says, I love dogs.
Speaker 1: And then Rosie shows up and Sheriff now goes after
Speaker 1: Rosie because now he's changed from being a racist dog
Speaker 1: to a homophobic dog.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's the end of the episode set.
Speaker 2: And by the way, I want to also add as
Speaker 2: an actor and this has happened to me. If you
Speaker 2: have a guest appearance, I don't care whether you're somebody
Speaker 2: big or small, and there's a connection. Your performance is
Speaker 2: great and there's a connection. Larry David wrote that for
Speaker 2: a future season that whole run she was in the
Speaker 2: whole season Rosie, and he wrote that because he loved
Speaker 2: being around her and he really enjoyed working with her,
Speaker 2: and she was solid as a rock.
Speaker 3: So that was the next season.
Speaker 1: This is season five, the season where she was in
Speaker 1: the whole season eight.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, but she was you know, just's I love her.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I've known Rosie forever. She's a good friend.
Speaker 1: But that's that's how he operates, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm saying that's how we operate on the show.
Speaker 2: That's how I operate. If you're a joy, I only
Speaker 2: want to keep working with you. It's like crew members.
Speaker 2: You want to keep the same crew members if you
Speaker 2: have a great time and they do great work.
Speaker 3: Jeff, I was a day player. I was not a
Speaker 3: series regular.
Speaker 2: Oh on curb. Yeah. Well, by the way, I'm going
Speaker 2: to use this phrase, Susie, you could not be denied.
Speaker 2: You're that good.
Speaker 1: Well, but I didn't know that every season we would finish.
Speaker 1: I never knew if I was coming back. I didn't
Speaker 1: have a contract, but he wanted me there, so I
Speaker 1: was lucky. Yeah, I was lucky.
Speaker 2: Well, that's the end of episode two, season.
Speaker 1: Five, Season five, and we will see you next week
Speaker 1: with episode three.
Speaker 2: Very exciting, Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: The History of Carmer Enthusiasm is a production of iHeart Radio.
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