1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,280 Speaker 1: Buggle up and hold on tight. We got it for 2 00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:05,280 Speaker 1: you here. It is a strawberry letter, Thank you nephew. 3 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: Subjects living with another man's wife to Stephen Shirley. I've 4 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,520 Speaker 1: been married a little over a year now, and this 5 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: is my second marriage. Since the wedding, my husband and 6 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 1: I have been searching for a new church home that 7 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: we mutually agreed on. We visited churches and settled at 8 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:25,400 Speaker 1: a church close to our home with a good, stern pastor. 9 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 1: We loved his preaching style and felt really welcome there 10 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 1: until one Sunday when the pastor's message was so crazy 11 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 1: that it sent my husband into a frenzy. The pastor 12 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:40,840 Speaker 1: preached about marriage and stated that anyone that has been 13 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: married more than once is going straight to hell if 14 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 1: the person gets and if the person gets remarried, the 15 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: new spouse is going to hell too. Pastor said that 16 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: God only recognizes one marriage and there is no such 17 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 1: thing as divorce. Ever, my husband took the message literally 18 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: and on the way home, he said the pastor was 19 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: speaking directly from the Bible. I showed my husband the 20 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,399 Speaker 1: exact scripture in the Bible, and it didn't say anything 21 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:15,319 Speaker 1: about anyone burning in hell. Even still, my husband believed 22 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: what the pastor said, and he told me he had 23 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,959 Speaker 1: a bad feeling about me on our wedding day. So 24 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 1: that must have been why I was blindsided because I 25 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 1: thought our marriage was great and he was happy with me. 26 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,679 Speaker 1: My husband's distanced himself from me and we stopped having 27 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: any type of intimacy. I refused to go back to 28 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 1: the church, but my husband loves it. The final straw 29 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 1: was last week when he came home and said the 30 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,679 Speaker 1: pastor asked him if he was still living with another 31 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: man's wife. I gave my husband an ultimatum to either 32 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: leave the church or leave our home. Because of this 33 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: wacky pastor, my marriage is in shambles. I want to 34 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 1: get my marriage back on track, but I don't know 35 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: how Is this worth fighting for? Or is my husband 36 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 1: losing his mind like the pastor? Please help? Well, I 37 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 1: mean this is only worth huh. Yeah, this is a 38 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: good letter. This is a really good letter. You ask 39 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 1: if this is worth fighting for? It I say it's 40 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,080 Speaker 1: worth fighting for if you want to save your marriage. 41 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: You said you want to to to set your marriage 42 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 1: back on track. The problem is you can't be the 43 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 1: only one fighting in a two person marriage. You just can't. Uh. 44 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 1: Your husband doesn't seem to want anything like that. He 45 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 1: has distanced himself from you. You've stopped having any type 46 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: of intimacy. Your husband loves this church with this crazy pastor, 47 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,800 Speaker 1: and the pastor is all up in your marriage too. Uh. 48 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: You were right to give your husband an ultimatum in 49 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:53,680 Speaker 1: this case, either leave the church or or leave your home. 50 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 1: And your marriage is in shambles because your husband is 51 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 1: following this pastor and not following God as he should 52 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: and as the Bible states. So is this worth fighting for? 53 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:08,920 Speaker 1: I would say no at this point because your husband 54 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:11,119 Speaker 1: even said he had a bad feeling about you on 55 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: his wedding day. All right, this is not good. Okay 56 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 1: for any marriage that's trying to survive. This is not good. 57 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:24,680 Speaker 1: Your husband needs to be with this pastor apparently in 58 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 1: this church, because that sounds like he wants where he 59 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: wants to be and not with you in this marriage 60 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,600 Speaker 1: and fighting for this marriage. I don't think you have 61 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 1: anything to fight for here, Steve, Wow, this letter right here, 62 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: this is just not good. You've been married a little 63 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: over a year now. Uh. This is your your husband's 64 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: second marriage, and this is my husband's second marriage. We've 65 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 1: been searched for a new church home we mutually agreed upon. 66 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 1: I guess so y'all both met the pastor here and 67 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,080 Speaker 1: thought it was cool to the sermon. We love just 68 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 1: preaching style felt really good to one Sunday the pastor's 69 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:17,479 Speaker 1: message through your husband into something. The pastor told about 70 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 1: marriage and stated that anybody that's been married more than 71 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:26,840 Speaker 1: once is going straight to hell. This part of the 72 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:34,679 Speaker 1: letter affected me deeply. Yeah, this part of the letter 73 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: affected me deeply. And I can't go on right now 74 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 1: because this man, this pastor said and stated that anyone 75 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,719 Speaker 1: that has been married more than once, it's going straight 76 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:58,280 Speaker 1: to hell. That's messed up past him. Yeah, that's messed 77 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 1: up because right now, three of us on this show 78 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: is gone. Yeah that's why I thought it was just 79 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 1: three of us to be married more than once, Me, 80 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:21,040 Speaker 1: you and Jake. So we're gone. That's disheartening. I'm trying 81 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,920 Speaker 1: to be a better person and a better Christian. Now 82 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: you just told me I don't care what I do. 83 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 1: I'm going to Hell. So there is no forgiveness, there's 84 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 1: no mercy, there's more, there's no grace, there is no 85 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:43,159 Speaker 1: he died for sins. It ain't none of that. All 86 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: of y'all is being married more than one going straight 87 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: to hell. Hell hand Well, I want to say that's 88 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 1: all I got for this letter, but I gotta do 89 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:04,839 Speaker 1: some more. Straight to him, pastor said that God only 90 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:09,719 Speaker 1: recognizes one marriage, and there's no sense thing as divorced. Okay, cool, 91 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 1: let's say God only recognized one marriage. Can I pick 92 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 1: the one he looked at? I'm with you on that one, Steve, 93 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 1: when you're right, yeah, let's go. I guess we're in 94 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:27,680 Speaker 1: hell right now. Subjects living with another man's wife, living 95 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 1: with another man's wife, here's this woman been married to 96 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 1: this man a little over a year, and they struggle 97 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:37,159 Speaker 1: trying to find themself a nice little church home. So 98 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: they finally found one that they agreed on and settle 99 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: that church close to their house. A good stern pastor. 100 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 1: We loved his preaching style and said it felt really welcome. Now. Well, 101 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 1: unto one Sunday the pastor mets him, is so crazy, 102 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: sent your husband into a frenzy. The pastor preacher about 103 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:03,600 Speaker 1: marriage and stated that anybody that has been married more 104 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: than once, it's going to hell. And the person gets remarried, 105 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 1: the new spouse is going to hell too, or we'll 106 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 1: damn you can't get faster. And still, yeah, man, I'm 107 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 1: just sitting there. You know. I let him into my life. 108 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: My heart a feeling pretty strong about myself, getting myself 109 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: together spiritually, and you just told me I'm going to 110 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 1: hell anyway, Well passed it. That's where you're wrong, because 111 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:45,520 Speaker 1: you don't know about God's mercy, his acts of forgiveness, 112 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 1: and you don't think that he puts into a counter 113 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 1: fact that we maybe we make mistakes, that people have 114 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 1: a chance to get over their mistakes. Well, your husband 115 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 1: took the message literally and all the way home. He said, 116 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: the past speaking directly from the Bible. I showed my 117 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 1: husband the exact scripture in the Bible. It didn't say 118 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 1: anything about anybody burning in hell. Even still, my husband 119 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: leave at the pastor said, he told me he had 120 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 1: a bad feeling about me on our wedding day. They've 121 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 1: been married over a year. He told his wife, after 122 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 1: going to this crazy church, I had a bad feeling 123 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:33,080 Speaker 1: about us on that wedding day, and then saying so 124 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,960 Speaker 1: that must have been why I was blindsided, because I 125 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,480 Speaker 1: thought our marriage was great he was happy with me. 126 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 1: My husband disses itself from me and we stopped having 127 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,520 Speaker 1: to any type of intimacy. I refused to go back 128 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: to the church, but my husband loves it. Final straw, 129 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna te I gotta tell you something. You don't 130 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,960 Speaker 1: the relationship you would just do it don't seem real. Love. 131 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 1: Healthy ain't the word for it. I just think he can. 132 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 1: I tell you what I think. Yes, I think your 133 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 1: husband was just looking for out. I think he was 134 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:16,679 Speaker 1: just looking for an out. I think he was unhappy 135 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 1: and found a way. She he listened to the past, 136 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,200 Speaker 1: and that said, if you've been in one argument and 137 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:33,440 Speaker 1: you've remarried, you going to hell. Now that's alarming. So, 138 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 1: but now you have it, that's it. I can't I 139 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 1: can't really, I can't really say anything because it doesn't 140 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:43,440 Speaker 1: make any sense what churches out. Yeah, it's the wrong 141 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 1: church man. God is a forgiving God, even with his commandments, 142 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 1: He's still a forgiving God. Yes, yes, and we're underground. 143 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,440 Speaker 1: I just don't believe that a person can make a mistake, 144 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 1: ask for forgiveness, recover, and now you can't go to 145 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 1: heaven because you've been mad more than wolf man health 146 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:11,840 Speaker 1: a long time. Yeah, can since two thousand and seven. 147 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,839 Speaker 1: I have a question if you if you get married 148 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 1: more than once and you're going to hell, does your 149 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 1: exes go to hell too? Because I told them to 150 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: go to hell. We got divorced. When you get that, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, 151 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 1: I'm just cleaning it up. Yeah, any I deal with 152 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: this new breaking news. I crowded hellish. Okay, it's gonna 153 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 1: be some pastors down but it's gonna be a lot 154 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 1: of pastors down there. A lot of pastors has gotten divorces. Yeah, 155 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 1: that's stay. But I want to hear this. Damn let 156 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: him pastor. Yeah yeah. And the Bible clearly states don't 157 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 1: don't follow man. You know. You gotta for God's power, 158 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,480 Speaker 1: you know, not man's wisdom. Come on, But it does 159 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 1: explain why Jesus never got married. He was sa Jesus, 160 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:33,200 Speaker 1: I ain't do it. Wow, Yeah, that is crazy. Yeah, 161 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:38,679 Speaker 1: he found it, No, seriously, when the pastor came up 162 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 1: with them, it's a bad match. He found it out. 163 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: That was it. He found out. But he the most 164 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 1: sex and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah, he still but 165 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 1: he found it out and he gonna ride that out. 166 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:54,200 Speaker 1: Now they ain't having sex. He having sex somewhere. He 167 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,240 Speaker 1: had a bad feeling about me on our wedding day. 168 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 1: Out of it all right, Thank you guys. Post your 169 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 1: comments on today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey FM on 170 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:10,319 Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook, and don't forget to check out the 171 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:14,240 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to the Steve 172 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.