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Speaker 1: Hey, this is am. This is John, your og Okay

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Speaker 1: story Time podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy

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Speaker 1: stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,

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Speaker 2: just stick around for a two minute break with a

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Speaker 2: word from our sponsors.

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Speaker 3: Two of my exes came back into my life and

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Speaker 3: things are getting confusing. X marks the spot. This is

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Speaker 3: an anime on crunchy Roll. Trigger warning for mentions of

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Speaker 3: self harming thoughts. Honestly, this is gonna be incredibly hard

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Speaker 3: for me to sum up. My name is Alex male,

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Speaker 3: thirty six, and I have two ex'es, Ava female thirty

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Speaker 3: six and Rachel female thirty four. Up front, there's a

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Speaker 3: lot of context I can't really put in here, both

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Speaker 3: for space and for fear of being too easily identifiable.

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Speaker 3: I'm keeping this as anonymous as possible. By the way,

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Speaker 3: this comes from throw A three COMPF eight one one

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Speaker 3: and if you want to spend your own stories, go

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Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay story Time severed it.

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Speaker 1: So I'm preemptively getting the whiteboard. We all have three character.

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Speaker 1: I feel like there's gonna be more.

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Speaker 3: Dakota can't handle the three characters.

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Speaker 1: It's just too much. No, I'm just getting it ready, Okay.

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Speaker 3: I've known Avas since we were eleven. We met at school,

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Speaker 3: kind of what those K through twelve prep schools. We

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Speaker 3: met in the middle school portion of things. She's about

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Speaker 3: two months older than me, and we were close pretty

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Speaker 3: much immediately. We didn't really start dating until after we

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Speaker 3: graduated and ended up by coincidence, both going to the

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Speaker 3: same college in the same major. That's a lot of coincidences.

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Speaker 1: Mminky dink, I don't buy it.

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Speaker 3: It felt like fates and we started dating after a

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Speaker 3: supposedly platonic BIRTHA hangout became less so fairly quickly. We

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Speaker 3: almost moved in quickly. About four months after we started

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Speaker 3: seeing each other, things got strained when her dad got sick.

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Speaker 3: I went with her back to her family home in Montana,

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Speaker 3: where she and her big butt family.

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Speaker 2: Maybe just large big family, big butt family, huh, or

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Speaker 2: she and.

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Speaker 3: Her big family. She has six brothers, she's the only sister.

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Speaker 3: Weasley's huddled together and mourned, and I very much was

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Speaker 3: out of place. I'm not mad about that. It's just

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Speaker 3: a fact I did get to meet her dad, and

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Speaker 3: he did seem to approove of me.

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Speaker 1: Which I did appreciate.

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Speaker 3: I feel would they not have met having like kind

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Speaker 3: of grown up together.

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Speaker 1: I thought they went they right, they were school friends.

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Speaker 2: No, he's known Ava since she was eleven, but maybe

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Speaker 2: they weren't like really like t oh, go home to

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Speaker 2: that place.

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Speaker 1: It's just like a her.

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Speaker 3: He never went to any event. That's kind of crazy.

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Speaker 3: How does he not know him? A lot of Ava's

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Speaker 3: friends from before we met reconnected with her, including Douchebie

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Speaker 3: I'll call Todd male twenty seven. But I wasn't going

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Speaker 3: to try and tell her who to grieve with anyway.

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Speaker 3: After her dad passed. I still don't know what he

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Speaker 3: was sick with. She was a wreck and decided to

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Speaker 3: stay with her mom and brothers for a while. Did

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Speaker 3: this man know anything about the girl that he was dating?

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Speaker 2: Why?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't.

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Speaker 3: He doesn't know what her father passed away from.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean sometimes he never met her. He's known

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Speaker 1: her since she was eleven. It could have been like

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Speaker 1: a weird illness or like a.

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Speaker 3: But you don't ask, You're not like, oh my god,

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Speaker 3: Like I'm like, what's going on?

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Speaker 1: Like what is he sick? Maybe he did and she

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Speaker 1: was just like he's it's a you know what.

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Speaker 3: Maybe she told him and she was like, it's insert

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Speaker 3: really long, hard to say illness, and he was like.

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Speaker 2: Whoop, yes, stripped a cooclnumental funnel geangalis.

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Speaker 1: I figured that was fine.

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Speaker 3: I was more than happy to stay if she needed

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Speaker 3: me too, But I did also have to deal with

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Speaker 3: my own issues, because my own dad was sick around

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Speaker 3: the same time and has been for years. Cancer and

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Speaker 3: his lungs, his back, even inside his brain. He kept

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Speaker 3: fighting it off. It would be in remission and then

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Speaker 3: it would come back somewhere else inside him. I honestly

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Speaker 3: think they'd sent me off to school so I'd not

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Speaker 3: see him in decline. I ended up having to go

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Speaker 3: back to West Virginia and spend a month there. My

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Speaker 3: dad passed, and I stayed with my mom, Sharon female

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Speaker 3: fifty eight, and my sister Jess female twenty eight, and

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Speaker 3: helped with all the tedious things you have to do

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Speaker 3: when someone passes. Dad had basically drafted up a will

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Speaker 3: deciding who got what, not that there was much to get.

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Speaker 3: I was nineteen and Jess was twenty one at the time,

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Speaker 3: and we were both in school, so mostly the little

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Speaker 3: money left was to take care of Sharon or keep

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Speaker 3: our tuition paid. During this period of time, I hadn't

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Speaker 3: been able to really keep in touch well with Ava.

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Speaker 3: I texted her and called, but she was occupied in grieving.

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Speaker 3: And while I was sad about Dad, I also knew

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Speaker 3: that in his case, it was merciful that he finally passed.

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Speaker 3: I decided instead of trying to call or text, I

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Speaker 3: just head back in surprise her. Well, I don't know

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Speaker 3: if that's the best idea when someone's grieving. Yeah, I

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Speaker 3: don't know if we want to just show up on

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Speaker 3: their door. Maybe give a little heads up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe a text being like, hey, do you need anything, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: have the emotional space for me to come over.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know I would also be surprising Todd. Oh

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Speaker 3: in our apartments.

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Speaker 1: Oh well, it's Todd.

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Speaker 3: You might think there was a screaming fight or something.

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Speaker 1: There wasn't.

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Speaker 3: I saw them, saw their faces as they disentangled on

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Speaker 3: the couch and turned and walked out the door.

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Speaker 1: Yikes. It was just a weird stretch routine. It's just

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Speaker 1: super Really, it was just yoga. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Slept on campus for a while. Thanks to a very

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Speaker 3: supportive adjunct professor, got my own place stayed well the

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Speaker 3: f away from Ava, couldn't talk to her, felt like

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Speaker 3: I crack open if I did. It took me two

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Speaker 3: years to get over her. And also Madeline Jane has

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Speaker 3: a good point. I think he's going back to his apartment. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: we that was clarified. In fact, I didn't until Rachel

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Speaker 3: fell off the ladder and on to me. What like, literally,

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Speaker 3: there's a Rachel and she fell off the ladder and heavens,

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, is this not a plot line to an anime?

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Speaker 1: I mean it could be a Hallmark movie.

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Speaker 3: This is like romance. Do you know the anime romance Killer?

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Speaker 1: Nope?

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Speaker 3: Okay, this is like romance Killer, but with a man or.

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Speaker 3: I was about to graduate when that happened. Rachel was

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Speaker 3: very different from Ava. Ava was somewhat reserved, obsessed with

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Speaker 3: excelling at school and in her chosen field, was always

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Speaker 3: trying to make her whole family proud. Rachel had a

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Speaker 3: it's complicated with her family, but was a grinner, a

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Speaker 3: bit of a troublemaker, and honestly the hottest woman I've

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Speaker 3: ever seen in my entire life.

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Speaker 2: Yes, still, but mostly I like that she grins a lot.

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Speaker 2: She grins so much. Wow, Ava was beautiful. Rachel was

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Speaker 2: so much more emotional, empathetic and just plain fun to

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Speaker 2: be around that I fell in love with her, despite

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Speaker 2: trying very hard not to.

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Speaker 3: We were married within a year.

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Speaker 2: Wow, it doesn't feel like you tried hard at all. Nah,

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Speaker 2: you try and marry zero percent within a year.

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Speaker 3: I had just graduated and was working in my field.

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Speaker 3: I was basically a half stuff above an intern. But

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Speaker 3: my foot was in the door and so far my

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Speaker 3: shoe had it and then crushed yet And for two

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Speaker 3: years it was great until Rach's harmful substance user drink user,

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Speaker 3: which manger of a father showed up. Wow, let's call

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Speaker 3: him Pig, because fim pig and he was probably in

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Speaker 3: his late fifties at the time, and now he's been

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Speaker 3: closing in on seventies.

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Speaker 2: You could have picked a different name that doesn't make

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Speaker 2: him sound cool, arguably pig. Yeah, dude, you've never met

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Speaker 2: anyone named Pig, have you? No? I've exclusively all the

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Speaker 2: people I've met with the name Pig are cool.

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Speaker 1: How many people have you met named pig? Not a lot?

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Speaker 2: Like a couple and it's like a it's a nickname.

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Speaker 2: But they were with our hard workers, okay, and they're cool.

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Speaker 3: I have a joke, but I don't want say it

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Speaker 3: big and I fought a lot. We thought about all

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Speaker 3: the money he was draining out of Rach. We thought

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Speaker 3: about how often and casually he would crush her emotionally

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Speaker 3: and leave her feeling worthless. The wild, somewhat rebellious, always

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Speaker 3: adventurous woman I felt so hard for got washed out

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Speaker 3: and gray whenever her dad was around. I'm not proud

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Speaker 3: of the next thing, especially since he used it perfectly.

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Speaker 3: I went out to try and bond with the a hole.

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Speaker 3: In my defense, I didn't know half the crap he

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Speaker 3: was up to at the time, and he got me

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Speaker 3: stone wasted and took pictures of me with a woman

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Speaker 3: he found at a bar and showed them to Rache.

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Speaker 3: You're gonna say, and she believed her awful dad or

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Speaker 3: you and man. I felt that exact way for years.

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Speaker 3: But my therapist made a point about how living in

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Speaker 3: a harmful situation f'su up and I figured it made sense.

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Speaker 3: We tried to tough it out for a couple of months,

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Speaker 3: but she was broken and I lost sure, as is

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Speaker 3: my wont I ghosted the whole situation, moved, changed my number.

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Speaker 3: What dude, that's like.

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Speaker 1: Your EMO, as is my wont I'm.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, He's like, you know what, ghost I ghosted?

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Speaker 1: Changed my number? Oh my god. That makes you look

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Speaker 1: maybe just a little bit guilty.

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Speaker 3: A little bit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: She's gonna go to her friends and be like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: my ex husband cheated on me. He swore he didn't

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Speaker 3: do it, but then he like ghosted me and changed

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Speaker 3: his number and led the country crazy. That's insane. That

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Speaker 3: was about ten years ago.

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Speaker 1: Ah ah.

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Speaker 3: Things sucked personally, but I was doing fairly well in

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Speaker 3: my career. In fact, I ended up being called as

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Speaker 3: an expert witness in a lawsuit that involved Eva, who'd

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Speaker 3: been one of the people who worked on the project

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Speaker 3: and had correctly pointed out that the design in question

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Speaker 3: needed specific materials or it would fail. This is a

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Speaker 3: freaking animate There's too many coincidences.

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Speaker 1: Architects, texts, architects. What are you talking about?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 1: What is I don't know?

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Speaker 2: What is? What?

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Speaker 1: What does she do? Project?

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Speaker 3: And incorrectly, she's probably an engineer that the designing question

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Speaker 3: needed specific materials or it would.

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Speaker 1: Fail, because I think they were Yes, that is engineering.

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Speaker 3: Well, I didn't think much about Ava as a girlfriend.

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Speaker 3: She was clearly both conscientious and thorough and her documentation,

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Speaker 3: and I did kind of admire that it was weird

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Speaker 3: to see my cheating X again, but I tried to

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Speaker 3: be professional because I didn't want to screw up the

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Speaker 3: suit and get punted. After that was over, we exchanged

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Speaker 3: a few words, nothing major, but she inquired about my father.

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Speaker 3: It occurred to me that I never actually told her

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Speaker 3: what had happened, and shared that he'd passed away while

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Speaker 3: I was in West Virginia, which hit her harder than

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Speaker 3: I'd expected.

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Speaker 1: He never told her that his dad passed away.

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Speaker 3: But didn't his dad pass while they were still together?

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Speaker 1: Nod? He passed afterwards, Yeah, I think from my memory.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yes.

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Speaker 3: We didn't really see each other for another year or so,

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Speaker 3: but at a conference I ran into her and a

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Speaker 3: group of her friends, and some of which had been

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Speaker 3: my friends once. One of them, Olivia female twenty seven,

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Speaker 3: wanted to buy me a drink. Ooo, everyone's everyone's trying

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Speaker 3: to get with OPI. Apparently Ava had told everyone the

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Speaker 3: story of me showing up at her court case and

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Speaker 3: proving that she'd done her job properly. And I ended

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Speaker 3: up carefully drinking a few with them while they talked

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Speaker 3: about their lives. I ended up just slightly buzzed I'd

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Speaker 3: learned my lesson from Pig, and suddenly alone with Ava,

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Speaker 3: so bolstered by liquid courage, I finally asked the question

235
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Speaker 3: I'd been curious about for some seven or eight years.

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Speaker 3: Why Todd she hadn't even seen.

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Speaker 1: The guy in gears?

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Speaker 3: Why hook up with him? And why in our apartment?

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Speaker 1: Well?

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Speaker 3: Ava told me some I almost wish I didn't believe,

241
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Speaker 3: but her demeanor was so unguarded that I kind of do.

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Speaker 3: She decided to take herself off the board, so to speak,

243
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Speaker 3: but she didn't want me or anyone to mourn her.

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Speaker 3: She called the house and found out I'd already left

245
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Speaker 3: and was on the way back home, and so, with

246
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Speaker 3: a limited amount of time to hand, she called up Tod,

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Speaker 3: got him to drive her back to her apartment and

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Speaker 3: make sure she'd get caught that way. I'd hate her

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Speaker 3: and wouldn't care if she wasn't around anymore. At this point,

250
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Speaker 3: you're yelling things at the screen. It took all that

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Speaker 3: I had not to scream at her myself, instead finding

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Speaker 3: myself sitting there and blinking. Once I'd left, she summarily

253
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Speaker 3: dismissed Tod and prepared to shuffle off, but instead she

254
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Speaker 3: fell apart and called one of her brood of brothers,

255
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Speaker 3: and soon the swarm was in my old apartment.

256
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Speaker 1: Oh well, I mean that's good Leon your sports system.

257
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Speaker 1: Yeah wow.

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Speaker 2: I don't like Ope's response, being like I would wanted

259
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Speaker 2: to scream at her and be like, is that is

260
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Speaker 2: that the reaction that we find immediately when someone tells

261
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Speaker 2: us this?

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Speaker 3: Oh I think maybe I'm reading that as like, why

263
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Speaker 3: would you even like think that I would? Ever? You know,

264
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,920
Speaker 3: after a few weeks to pass all this, I decided

265
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Speaker 3: to at least start talking to Ava again. We were

266
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Speaker 3: friends for years before we got together. I cared about

267
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Speaker 3: her and we did have a lot in common. Crappy girlfriend, yes,

268
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Speaker 3: but she'd been wounded and I know full well how

269
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Speaker 3: it feels and what it does to you. As for Rach,

270
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Speaker 3: she showed up at my door about six months ago. Okay,

271
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Speaker 3: she'd gotten ripped in the last few years. Let me

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Speaker 3: tell you, still a few inches shorter, but incredible definition.

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Speaker 2: Did you think she did grow inches shorter? Did you

274
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Speaker 2: think she she was gonna grow taller. He's like, ah,

275
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Speaker 2: she didn't. She's still shorter than me, but she's ripped.

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Speaker 2: Why are we comparing these two women like their WWE

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Speaker 2: action figures.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Oh is he saying shorter than I think that's the

280
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Speaker 3: same self.

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Speaker 1: I think shorter than Ava. Maybe I don't know. This

282
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,360
Speaker 1: does make sense. I don't know.

283
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Speaker 3: She told me she figured out her dad was lying

284
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Speaker 3: after she had to come pick him up from one

285
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,280
Speaker 3: of the many bars he frequents and found him and

286
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,959
Speaker 3: the girl he'd taken pictures of me with unconscious in

287
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,240
Speaker 3: a booth. But like I said, I ghosted her, so

288
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,840
Speaker 3: she had no idea where to find me. Good job. Ope,

289
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:25,280
Speaker 3: you need therapy. Stop ghosting people like you are wont

290
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:29,240
Speaker 3: to do so. Instead, somewhere along the way, she decided

291
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:33,160
Speaker 3: to work with that anger, turned herself into an effing Amazon,

292
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,640
Speaker 3: and dealt with her crappy old man herself.

293
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:40,520
Speaker 1: Then she came looking for me. God, she gonna attack you.

294
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:45,720
Speaker 1: This sounds like just like a black widow. She's like,

295
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:49,280
Speaker 1: I found you. I've been hunting you down for years.

296
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Speaker 1: The last thing you see before the end.

297
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Speaker 3: I'm positive she's leaving some things out, like maybe she

298
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,240
Speaker 3: talked to Jess. She and Jess had gotten along when

299
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,440
Speaker 3: we were married. Regardless right or wrong, I fell back

300
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:05,400
Speaker 3: into bed with Rachel as soon as she mentioned even

301
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,800
Speaker 3: the slightest interest. I couldn't deny or anything when we

302
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,680
Speaker 3: were married, and I can't do it now either. So here,

303
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:15,440
Speaker 3: I am almost thirty seven soon. For the last four months,

304
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,240
Speaker 3: I've been sleeping with my ex wife while talking to

305
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:30,480
Speaker 3: my ex girlfriend. Super straightforward, cool, Wow, I thought. Shelton says,

306
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,479
Speaker 3: I thought it was want, but Dakota.

307
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,640
Speaker 1: Said won't, and I thought I was wont No, he

308
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,760
Speaker 1: said I won't to do? Is it won't? I won't

309
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,640
Speaker 1: to do? I don't know. He's speaking in old English.

310
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Speaker 1: Do you tell me well wanton? Yeah, I think it

311
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,200
Speaker 1: is want winton, but he said I want. I said,

312
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,280
Speaker 1: I think I think it's spelled won't, but it does

313
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,520
Speaker 1: want to do. Yeah, I am want to do. That

314
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,680
Speaker 1: makes more sense. Winter One t.

315
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Speaker 3: Yeah, you just got like I said, won't want or won't,

316
00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,200
Speaker 3: So I just thought I was trying to me anyway.

317
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,080
Speaker 1: It's it's want.

318
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:06,000
Speaker 3: Everyone my bad who I am fifty to fifty on

319
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,760
Speaker 3: potentially wanting more? She hasn't said so, and I'm not

320
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,080
Speaker 3: sure if I could really trust her, even with her

321
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:16,640
Speaker 3: crazy I hope made up story about self deletion Rach. Meanwhile,

322
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:21,480
Speaker 3: we haven't really talked about well anything, not her believing

323
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,080
Speaker 3: her dad, not how she found me after eight plus years,

324
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,760
Speaker 3: what actually happened to Pig.

325
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:30,600
Speaker 1: I think she handled him. Sounds like she took care business.

326
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,920
Speaker 3: She's gotten a bit more aggressive and doesn't seem to

327
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,880
Speaker 3: want to talk about emotions much at all. But sometimes

328
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,200
Speaker 3: after we get together, she curls up in my arms

329
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,760
Speaker 3: and shakes a little, and I really wish I could

330
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Speaker 3: get brave enough to ask her what she wants. So, yeah,

331
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:47,880
Speaker 3: I have no idea what either of them actually want,

332
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,480
Speaker 3: and not even sure what I want if either of

333
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:51,080
Speaker 3: them told me.

334
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,360
Speaker 2: So what do I do?

335
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,640
Speaker 3: Do I ask them? How the A do you ask someone?

336
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:56,960
Speaker 1: Hey?

337
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,960
Speaker 3: Are we just friends? Or have you been dating me

338
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,240
Speaker 3: this whole time? Are so just spicy sleep? Or are

339
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,760
Speaker 3: we back together? And not end up pissing anyone off?

340
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:09,679
Speaker 1: You just ask them that, No, dude, just like delete

341
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:10,120
Speaker 1: your number.

342
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:14,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, movestates ghost everybody as he disappears, as you are

343
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,640
Speaker 2: wont to do, That's that's the new solution, right, Yeah.

344
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,280
Speaker 1: You just disappear off the face of the earth. Oh dude,

345
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,000
Speaker 1: you just freaking tell speak.

346
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,320
Speaker 3: That's also like the thing he was like, how do

347
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,760
Speaker 3: you even ask someone, Hey, are we just friends?

348
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:28,720
Speaker 1: Or have you been dating this?

349
00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,840
Speaker 3: You asked them that, Yeah, you already did it, just

350
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,320
Speaker 3: like that, just that.

351
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:34,800
Speaker 1: What are we doing?

352
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:39,719
Speaker 3: This guy needs therapy and a communication coach. I honestly

353
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,080
Speaker 3: can't figure out what I should be saying here. Please

354
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,440
Speaker 3: tell me how to deal with this. Edits Oh my god,

355
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,919
Speaker 3: things got so much weirder and we're gonna pause. Uh.

356
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:49,560
Speaker 1: I thought that was gonna be a short edit, but

357
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,480
Speaker 1: it seems like it's got information. Uh, do you have

358
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:56,400
Speaker 1: any thoughts? I don't know if this guy should date

359
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,439
Speaker 1: either of these. I agree, I think he should probably

360
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:02,199
Speaker 1: find some one knew dude. I agree.

361
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:06,399
Speaker 3: I'm sorry the fact that like again, but well, actually,

362
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:10,520
Speaker 3: before I even say this, obviously there's no excuse for cheating.

363
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,080
Speaker 3: But I think that if I had a partner who

364
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,680
Speaker 3: was in like such a terrible state, I'd ask a

365
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,520
Speaker 3: couple questions, you know, like I see her with this guy,

366
00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:24,200
Speaker 3: I'd ask a couple questions Before I disappeared off the

367
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,920
Speaker 3: face off the earth and blocked her number. If my

368
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:32,280
Speaker 3: girlfriend was in abusive state or an abusive kind of

369
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:37,760
Speaker 3: situation with a father and believed that I'd cheated, I'd ask,

370
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,560
Speaker 3: you know, I'd ask more questions.

371
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,040
Speaker 1: He's not doing any of that.

372
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:45,639
Speaker 2: He's just like my Yeah, He's like, dang, do you

373
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,280
Speaker 2: think I cheated. I'm just gonna act like I did

374
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,720
Speaker 2: by ghosting you and losing your number and moving to

375
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,040
Speaker 2: a new place without telling you.

376
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:53,440
Speaker 3: Yeah.

377
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,800
Speaker 1: He doesn't even know what he wants. He doesn't know

378
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,680
Speaker 1: what he wants. He's just like, oh, I like I

379
00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,920
Speaker 1: like these pretty women. Yeah, it is true. How do

380
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:00,880
Speaker 1: you Yeah?

381
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,920
Speaker 2: And it's like, oh, and then we you know, you're

382
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 2: living together. After four months with Ava, you're married in

383
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 2: a year.

384
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,679
Speaker 1: Like to Rachel, he's going too fast.

385
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 3: He's going way too he does like he speeds run.

386
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:17,440
Speaker 3: He speed runs his relationships. He gets together, he moves in,

387
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,119
Speaker 3: he marries them, and then he leaves them within the

388
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,840
Speaker 3: span of like two years. That's crazy.

389
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:26,919
Speaker 1: Cat's got a great idea. What vacation gaycation the.

390
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 3: Mandy of the gacation edits Oh my god, things got

391
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,600
Speaker 3: so much weirder. I talked to Ava last night and

392
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,240
Speaker 3: just I'll do an update after I get rached to

393
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:40,120
Speaker 3: have a real conversation. At least one of my decisions

394
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,679
Speaker 3: have been made. Ava and I aren't gonna rekindle our

395
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,920
Speaker 3: relationship that much is for sure.

396
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 1: I mean, she's probably in a totally different headspace.

397
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:52,640
Speaker 2: Now you shouldn't do that. And also you're rekindling both

398
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,520
Speaker 2: of them anyway. It's just a matter of how much

399
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:56,800
Speaker 2: kindling it's going to.

400
00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,720
Speaker 3: Does the kindle learn, does the kindle make the fire

401
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 3: roars the kids?

402
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,239
Speaker 1: Can you throw me? That blanket is freaking cold in here?

403
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:09,840
Speaker 1: It's all right, It's okay.

404
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 3: It's really heavy and I don't have a lot of strength.

405
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:14,680
Speaker 1: No, that's okay. I'll just let that being on camera

406
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 1: speak itself.

407
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,080
Speaker 3: So it's like four am here and I'm wiped out.

408
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,400
Speaker 3: But I have an update that shakes up a lot

409
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:26,880
Speaker 3: of things show at this point. Two days ago, after

410
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 3: I wrote the original post, I mail thirty six, got

411
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 3: Ava female thirty six on the phone, and we agreed

412
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 3: to meet up and talk. At first, it was a

413
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,359
Speaker 3: lot of empty talk, you know, what's up, what's going on?

414
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,359
Speaker 3: Blah blah. Finally I told her that Rachel and I

415
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,440
Speaker 3: had reconnected. I told her I had been married and divorced,

416
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:48,400
Speaker 3: but no real specifics, and that it wasn't just platonic.

417
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 3: Ava didn't react much, which isn't unusual for her, Honestly,

418
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 3: she's always been fairly unemotional, at least most of the time.

419
00:20:56,280 --> 00:21:00,679
Speaker 3: But I wasn't expecting what she next told me, namely

420
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,920
Speaker 3: that she was currently seeing Olivia female twenty seven and

421
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:08,520
Speaker 3: wasn't really exactly interested in a relationship with me, at

422
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 3: least not one where we'd be exclusive with each other. Instead,

423
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:14,160
Speaker 3: what she was hoping for was that I'd be willing

424
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 3: to help them conceive a child. Oh what via donation?

425
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:24,520
Speaker 3: By the way, Wow, She's like, yeah, I can't. I

426
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 3: came back to talk to you.

427
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't want to be in a relationship

428
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 1: with you.

429
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 3: I don't want to be in a relationship with you.

430
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:35,600
Speaker 1: But you're hot. Yeah. I don't want all this, but

431
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 1: I want all this. I want that.

432
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,159
Speaker 3: As Ava put it, I'm good looking, fit, smart, almost

433
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,400
Speaker 3: as smart as her was how she put it, which

434
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,879
Speaker 3: I have to say, is peak Ava in terms of

435
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 3: wanting a favor from someone, and we always had a

436
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 3: lot in common.

437
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,360
Speaker 1: Brother, This is not a favor. A favor is how

438
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 1: you're phrasing.

439
00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 2: It like that.

440
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is like a this is this is more

441
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,560
Speaker 1: than a favor. You put your genetics sound there, dude.

442
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,159
Speaker 3: I'm not as emotionally disconnected as her, and she's not

443
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,640
Speaker 3: as good at hyperfocus as I can be, but we're

444
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,360
Speaker 3: still pretty similar people. She figured if Olivia got pregnant

445
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 3: with me as a donor, it'd be pretty close to

446
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 3: if she got Olivia pregnant. This was also why she

447
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,760
Speaker 3: wasn't asking her brothers. She'd always been the odd one

448
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 3: out in her family until she met me. She never

449
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 3: knew anyone who was as much like her as I was.

450
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 3: We've even had similar trauma in our lives, and we

451
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 3: both tend to react to bad news or trauma in

452
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,760
Speaker 3: the same way, try and find a way to escape

453
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 3: and avoid confronting it.

454
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 1: No way.

455
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 2: You guys are like the only two people who do that.

456
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,159
Speaker 2: You guys are meant for each other because no one

457
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:41,320
Speaker 2: else does that does that.

458
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 3: This isn't a good thing, mind you, It's just something

459
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 3: she said that I had to agree with. She avoids

460
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 3: pain by trying to break things off before she can

461
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 3: feel it, and I do it by running away from

462
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,880
Speaker 3: it and Olivia. I had started to hatch this plan

463
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:58,159
Speaker 3: once we all met at the conference, and after Ava

464
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 3: found out about my dad, she felt guilty and thought

465
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 3: maybe it would be a good thing for all of us.

466
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,399
Speaker 3: Olivia would have the kids she wanted. Ava and I

467
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 3: might get back to being real friends again, and I'd

468
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,440
Speaker 3: get to be a dad, something I had said I

469
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,440
Speaker 3: was interested in back in the day.

470
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:15,920
Speaker 1: Are you sure?

471
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 2: Though it doesn't sound like their arrangement is like, and

472
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,920
Speaker 2: we want you to father the child.

473
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:21,880
Speaker 1: That is a yeah.

474
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 2: It sounds like they're like, hey, can you like provide

475
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,879
Speaker 2: the ingredients? And then I guess thank you.

476
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 3: The question is how involved would you be in the

477
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 3: kid's life. I don't remember the particular conversation, but Ava

478
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 3: tends to remember things like that and file them away,

479
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 3: While if it had been a post spicy sleep conversation,

480
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 3: I likely was barely aware of what I was saying.

481
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,359
Speaker 3: I mean, i'd been nineteen. Ava admitted that she was

482
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 3: still attracted to me, but she didn't want to f

483
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 3: up her current relationship with Olivia, and she also didn't

484
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 3: want to f up whatever I am going on with Rachel.

485
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,160
Speaker 3: She'd blown up a good thing once in her life.

486
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,840
Speaker 3: And didn't want to do that again. I appreciated that,

487
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,920
Speaker 3: and our talk really helped me realize that whatever Ava

488
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:04,359
Speaker 3: and I had ever had, it has always been more

489
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 3: like a friendship. Anyway, We've only dated because it felt

490
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 3: like we should, like it was inevitable. I told her

491
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,640
Speaker 3: i'd think about donation, told her to get me details

492
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 3: on the clinic and how that all would go. I'll

493
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 3: need to hear from Olivia and see how much she

494
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 3: really wants to do this before I even think about it. Plus,

495
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 3: maybe it's just plain not a great idea. I'm still

496
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 3: a little stunned, but aside from the whole at the

497
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 3: end of the guy so you'll hate me and run

498
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 3: so I can leave the world a thing that still

499
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 3: has me completely my deft and has given my therapist

500
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,359
Speaker 3: quite a lot to talk about with me. Ava and

501
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,160
Speaker 3: I were friends for years, and I do miss being

502
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 3: able to have someone who understands me the way she does. Still,

503
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 3: we're not really interested in each other. Rachel wasn't harder

504
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 3: to get in touch with, so I got her to

505
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 3: meet up with me for a coffee, but she kept

506
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 3: being distractingly flirty and tried to avoid the discussion and

507
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 3: Finally I just blurted out something along the lines of Rachel, I.

508
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:07,200
Speaker 1: Still love you, Please talk to right. Yeah that was great.

509
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 3: Ope, that was the best option you could have gone with,

510
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 3: for sure. Scary screaming at her, I love out scary, scary. God,

511
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,399
Speaker 3: that made her cry, which I have only seen like

512
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 3: two times, and both were when we were breaking up

513
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 3: seven or eight years ago. Not gonna lie. I cried

514
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 3: a bit too. We ended up talking for a while,

515
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 3: agreed to get together again that night yesterday as I

516
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 3: type this, and she'd tell me what she'd been up

517
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 3: to and what happened over the time we've been apart.

518
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 3: I was nervous. I think she was two. We've both

519
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 3: lived very different lives for a long while. She came

520
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 3: over around seven and we spent the next few hours

521
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 3: finally having that talk. Y'all told me we should have

522
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 3: had months ago. She left pigs somewhere in Texas six

523
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 3: plus years ago, beat the effor up after he tried

524
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 3: to lay hands on her, something he usually never did

525
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 3: because emotional abuse worked better for him. But the details

526
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:04,360
Speaker 3: are hers, not mine to share. She spent some time

527
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 3: working as a bouncer. Arms like hers. I could see

528
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 3: it and also did some personal training gigs in California,

529
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 3: especially in Irvine, dated a few people girls and guys.

530
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 3: Ohpi's just Dayton buys left and right. I was right

531
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 3: by the way. She found me Viajess. She and Jess

532
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 3: reconnected over their mutual love of tattoos, and she's actually

533
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 3: known where to find me for three years but couldn't

534
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:31,199
Speaker 3: make herself reach out. Last year, however, her mom found her.

535
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,119
Speaker 3: I don't think I mentioned it, but her mom, marian

536
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 3: female sixty two, was with Pig for a few years

537
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 3: and then ran off with when Rachel was like two.

538
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 3: She thought her mom just abandoned her in Pig and

539
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 3: that's what made Pig the craphead he was, since she

540
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 3: had good memories of him as a dad. But no,

541
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 3: her mom told her that she'd finally smarten up and

542
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 3: was get a split, and so Pigs stole Rach and

543
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,360
Speaker 3: left and tried.

544
00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 1: It's a bad pig. Yeah, he sucks, real bad pig.

545
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,159
Speaker 3: Marianne tried to find her, but then fell into a

546
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 3: bottle herself, and it took her a long time to

547
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 3: clean up and get any sort of clue where Pig

548
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:12,440
Speaker 3: and Rach were also also Rach is not her real name.

549
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 3: I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Pig would call

550
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 3: her a different name to throw off being found.

551
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: Whoa wait, whoa?

552
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 3: So he kidnapped the kid, her kid, I guess their kid,

553
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 3: and then changed her name.

554
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,399
Speaker 2: Man, Pig was really he sucked? He was He was

555
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 2: rolling around in that in the mudd puddle. Yeah, wow,

556
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 2: his dad's dirt. That's a dirty move.

557
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 3: This is a crazy story. Why is OPI's life so insane?

558
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:41,160
Speaker 1: This is a little insane.

559
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 2: Well maybe that's just what happens when you become By

560
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 2: the time he gets to thirty seven, you just.

561
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 1: Have so many stories to tell. She's like, whoa, my

562
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 1: ex wife, my ex girlfriend of back? Oh my god,

563
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:55,359
Speaker 1: that back again.

564
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,440
Speaker 3: Amy Len says, that won't do. Pig, that won't do.

565
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 3: But when Marianne found Rach and they had their talk

566
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 3: about things, Rach felt like she could come find me.

567
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 3: So now here we are with a ton of baggage

568
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,439
Speaker 3: for both of us. I don't know if we can

569
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 3: really make it as a couple. She's wounded in so

570
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,679
Speaker 3: many effing ways, and so am I. She's stronger than

571
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 3: I remember her being physically. I'm sure, and she was

572
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,679
Speaker 3: always strong, but she's also really afraid to let herself

573
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 3: care and then lose it again. And part of that

574
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 3: fear is because of me and how I ran instead

575
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 3: of staying when crap got hard. Yeah, I'm already in therapy,

576
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 3: and like most of the commenters said, rach really needs

577
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 3: some too. So the final tally of our discussion, I

578
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 3: still love her. She still loves me, told me she

579
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 3: never really stopped and felt awful she'd pushed me away,

580
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 3: even though I think it was mostly me running away.

581
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 3: We're both different people and we can't keep effin instead

582
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 3: of talking. So we're gonna take a break from spicesly

583
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 3: for a while. This will not be easy for me

584
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 3: because her body is a work of art. But in

585
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 3: the end, the spicy sleep is the least important thing here. God,

586
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 3: he's become so self aware now, he's like, I get it.

587
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:15,640
Speaker 2: I like the part where he was like, she said

588
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 2: she pushed me away, but I think I remember ghosting her,

589
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 2: switching my number and leaving down.

590
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 1: What she did.

591
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 3: She went, she went h and then hadn't even touched him,

592
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 3: And he was like, yeah, you turn on the rocket engine.

593
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he really said meet me, meet me.

594
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 3: We are actually going to go on dates. We didn't

595
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 3: really do that the first time. Eck, everything went super

596
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 3: fast the first time taking it so might be good.

597
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 3: Do you even know how to take it? So we'll

598
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 3: find out. She's afraid of therapy but willing to try it.

599
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 3: I'm gonna ask my therapist if they can recommend someone.

600
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 3: After some individual counseling, we may try couples to see

601
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 3: how well we work for each other. I am legit

602
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 3: terrified that this won't work. I'm also legit terrified it

603
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 3: will because that would mean I'd be in a healthy

604
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 3: relationship and.

605
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 1: I don't know what one of those even looks like.

606
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's asleep in my bedroom right now as I

607
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 3: type this. She didn't want to leave, and I didn't

608
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 3: want her to either. I'm afraid I'll if it all

609
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 3: up again. I'm afraid she'll realize she doesn't need me

610
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 3: and take off, or I'll try to avoid the hard

611
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 3: times again.

612
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 1: But I think maybe I'm crazy, but I really do

613
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 1: think it could work.

614
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 2: And even if it doesn't, if it helps her, if

615
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 2: she gets better and leaves, I'd still be happy she

616
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 2: got better.

617
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 1: Sunset sunset. There is a second update, Sam. Here we're

618
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 1: gonna get back to the stories. But here's three of

619
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 1: its bads from our sponsors.

620
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 2: Sometimes I just wish I could fill people's brains up

621
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 2: with rocks. Because this guy feels like he's just thinking

622
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:54,760
Speaker 2: too much.

623
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 1: I think he's got rocks in his seat. Stop thinking

624
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 1: so much.

625
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, just be like I love Rachel, Rachel loves me.

626
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 2: Don't be like, ah love. Let's all go to therapy.

627
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 3: There we go.

628
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 1: That's all that matters. That's it.

629
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, replace the rocks in your brain that make you

630
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 2: run away from your relationship with rocks that just make

631
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 2: you go.

632
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 1: Do you want to go to like mini golf?

633
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 3: Yeah?

634
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 1: Do you want to go ax throwing?

635
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 2: Do you want to sep strong talk about our shared

636
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,719
Speaker 2: Do you want to desire trauma or trauma?

637
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 1: I guess are traumas?

638
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 3: But folks, there's a second update. Let's go Update two.

639
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 3: Me and Rachel ups and downs. Not really looking for

640
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 3: advice at this part, just telling folks what's the current situation.

641
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 3: Rach and I have been cohabitating since last month. This

642
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 3: is not taking it slow. You're living together.

643
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 1: Stop doing this thing that you do. This is fast.

644
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 1: You're in the warp speed tunnel.

645
00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:00,479
Speaker 3: He's like, yeah, we're cohabiting, that's living together. They were

646
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 3: married at some point. Yeah, but if he wants to

647
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 3: take it slowed the rules. No, she's had two therapy

648
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 3: sessions and says she likes the doctor. I don't know her,

649
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 3: but that's fine and it's not like I need to

650
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 3: which doctor. Yeah, the twelfth, the twelfth, the ninth, the eleventh.

651
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 3: There is a lot of abuse in other crap between

652
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 3: her and that pig who pretended to be her father,

653
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 3: and until she decides to share the details with me,

654
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 3: I'm giving her space to work on it. My therapist

655
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 3: has told me that I have a problem with running away.

656
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 3: Your therapist just so good at pointing out the obvious

657
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:37,239
Speaker 3: and gave me some reading on avoidant attachment, which may

658
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 3: be a part of why I do that instead of

659
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 3: just dealing with my problems. This is like in Dora

660
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 3: when she's like, do you see swiper?

661
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 1: Oh, he's going do you see it?

662
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 3: My avoidant attachment? I don't see it.

663
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 2: Say I love you three times and maybe I'll run

664
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 2: away or maybe I'll move in with you.

665
00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 3: We've said we love each other. I have straight up

666
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 3: giving up booze because I am depressed when I drink.

667
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 3: She's dragged me back to the gym. Truth be told.

668
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 3: I was keeping active anyway because my day job can

669
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 3: be really sedentary. But now I'm starting to get ripped again.

670
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 1: You're gonna get so.

671
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 2: Ripped for all that running you're to do, You're gonna

672
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 2: get swollen from all those torn muscle fibers that rebuild themselves.

673
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 1: Yeah.

674
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 3: Wow, I don't think I mentioned it, but I'm actually

675
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 3: taller than Rach.

676
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 1: I think you did mention that. Oh wait, so that

677
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 1: was loud. It's like, yeah, she's still shorter.

678
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 2: It's not how he's working for a real Amazonian seven

679
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 2: and a half feet tall. Yeah, three hundred pounds of

680
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 2: straight up muscle as someone who could pinch your head

681
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 2: with their thumb and index finger.

682
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 3: Who is herself really tall? For a woman six six

683
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 3: feet and change? Whoa she really is an Amazon? In

684
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 3: the past two weeks have started moving me in a

685
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 3: good direction physically. It's early days, but still enjoyable. Rachel

686
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 3: doesn't want me to donate to Ava's girlfriend, so I'm

687
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 3: not going to understandable. She's probably like, yeah, I don't

688
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:14,399
Speaker 3: really want you to donate to your ex girlfriend while

689
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 3: we're getting together. Yeah, I think a better thing is,

690
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 3: what do you want out of that?

691
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 1: GEA? Do you like it's all good? Rachel being like, hey,

692
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,919
Speaker 1: maybe don't do that, but like is that? Like what? Yeah,

693
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 1: where's your head out? Because it seems like you're just

694
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:29,759
Speaker 1: like you literally were like I.

695
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 3: Did say that once upon a time. I just got

696
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 3: me there.

697
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:34,279
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be dead.

698
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,839
Speaker 3: She's not exactly comfortable with me having kids with another woman,

699
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 3: even if it's all IDF.

700
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:41,320
Speaker 1: I can get that.

701
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 3: Plus, to be honest, I'm not all that invested in

702
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 3: being tied to Ava, even as a donor, not all

703
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:51,320
Speaker 3: as great. I've been considering quitting my job for unrelated

704
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 3: reasons without too many potentially identifiable details. I want to

705
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:58,399
Speaker 3: own my own work. It's been stressful and the whole

706
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 3: no spicy sleep idea. I fell apart within a couple

707
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 3: of days. You guys are terrible this.

708
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 2: You're literally living together and sleeping together, and you're probably

709
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 2: gonna get married in like two weeks.

710
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: You're like, but we're taking it slow.

711
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 3: Neither Rage nor I are perfect. And there have been

712
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 3: two arguments, one big one small. The big one was

713
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 3: over the no spicy sleep thing and how Rach was

714
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 3: worried it meant I didn't want her anymore. This is

715
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,319
Speaker 3: definitely not the case. The second fight was about why

716
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,400
Speaker 3: I seem to let Ava just do crap to me,

717
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 3: and honestly, I really didn't have an answer. Gonna bring

718
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 3: that one up in therapy, but it did make me

719
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 3: decide to not do the IVF deal and go low

720
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 3: contact with Ava. I'm slowly realizing that admiring her as

721
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 3: a professional isn't the same as liking her or being

722
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 3: her friend, and I'm not sure why I keep letting

723
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 3: her into my life. That was a big switch up.

724
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:51,879
Speaker 3: Rach and her mom are still in contact, but it's

725
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 3: going slow, like you're slow, or like real slow, Sharon. Honestly,

726
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 3: I still think of her as a mom. And Jess

727
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,440
Speaker 3: have been in contact and have invited us to come up.

728
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 3: By the way, you should come over and listen to

729
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 3: full episodes stories just like this. Just go to Spotify,

730
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 3: Apple Podcast, or iHeartRadio in.

731
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:10,239
Speaker 1: Search of Pooka story time.

732
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 3: Yes, there is a little bit left to this story,

733
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 3: but yes, fed thoughts, Yes, what are they slow it down?

734
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:20,360
Speaker 2: Dude?

735
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 1: No, it pumped.

736
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:25,439
Speaker 2: The brakes are these the only two fish in your sea. Yes,

737
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 2: I think yes, I think these are the only two

738
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 2: women he's ever known in his life. I think we

739
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 2: would have heard about any other ones. Get out there,

740
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 2: go find I mean, fine peace, go on a journey

741
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 2: of self discovery.

742
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 1: I don't know. Is it like fate? I uh, I

743
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 1: think so.

744
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 2: I don't know.

745
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,839
Speaker 3: I think stuff you like it. I think he's stuck

746
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 3: in a really dramatic romance.

747
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 1: Anime.

748
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,759
Speaker 2: You need the good rocks in your brain. Yeah, you

749
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 2: have the bad rocks in your brain right now. Things

750
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 2: are happening, but not super fast. We're not re married,

751
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,320
Speaker 2: and I don't know if we're even trying to go

752
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 2: that way even if we were, it's only been a

753
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 2: few weeks, and neither of us want to go that fast.

754
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 1: But I really do love her.

755
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 3: I've missed her and never even let myself admit how

756
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 3: much I missed her, And I'm sort of disgusted with

757
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 3: myself that I didn't fight harder to keep her when

758
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 3: the whole deal with her fake dad and the cheating

759
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 3: accusation happened. I let that craphead pushed me away and

760
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:25,320
Speaker 3: just ran away again. And I'm honestly effing furious with

761
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,479
Speaker 3: myself for it, A lot of time wasted. We might've

762
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 3: had kids by now, and now who knows if we

763
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 3: ever will. Just so angry at myself, and yes, this

764
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 3: is stuff for the therapist, not much else to say.

765
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,760
Speaker 3: I am still utterly unable to stop being a total

766
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 3: simp for Rach and I honestly don't even care anymore.

767
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 3: I hope this works out. If it doesn't, I hope

768
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 3: at least it helps her heal from all the terrible

769
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 3: crap that worthless bag of crap father did to her typing.

770
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 3: This makes me realize I do want us to get

771
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:57,840
Speaker 3: married again, which is really scary.

772
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 1: He's like, we're gonna take gets slow, but also I

773
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 1: just realized we need to get marriage.

774
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 3: And then he's like, I don't even know if I'm

775
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 3: thinking about marriage. And now that I've said it, I'm

776
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:08,800
Speaker 3: thinking about marriage.

777
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:09,399
Speaker 1: Oh yeah.

778
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:11,839
Speaker 2: It's like, what's like when you like, don't think about

779
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,719
Speaker 2: an elephant? Oh what do you think about it?

780
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:14,760
Speaker 3: About the elephant?

781
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 2: And now I have to go buy one because I

782
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 2: thought I have to buy an elephant to buy an elephant.

783
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: So anyway, yeah, that's my reality right now, hopefully in

784
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 1: the future, I'll have more and more positive stuff to share.

785
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,760
Speaker 1: And that, my friends, is the end of that story.

786
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:34,400
Speaker 1: What a saga? What truly what a saga? What a saga?

787
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 1: That was a tale? Yeah? Man, wow?

788
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:41,280
Speaker 2: Any final thoughts, Yeah, final thoughts, like stop for a moment,

789
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 2: breathe into yourself and try to really understand what it

790
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,440
Speaker 2: is you want, because it even feels like at the

791
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,800
Speaker 2: very end of the story you were like, yeah, I

792
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 2: no know. I mean I might want to get married,

793
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 2: but yeah, I don't think so, And then you immediately said,

794
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:57,959
Speaker 2: just kidding, I do want to get married.

795
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 1: You don't know what you want, Like, I don't know.

796
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 3: Your therapist therapist, therapist needs to work over time with you.

797
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,800
Speaker 3: You need extra sessions, yeah, or you might need a

798
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 3: new therapy or a new therapist if this one hasn't

799
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:13,720
Speaker 3: gotten it into your noggin.

800
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:18,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, at some point, if you're not seeing tangible improvement,

801
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 2: which it feels like you're doing the same thing. Yeah,

802
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 2: feels like you're doing the exact same thing. That it's

803
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:24,800
Speaker 2: just where you were at before.

804
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:27,879
Speaker 3: It's literally a cyclog Certainly, Sunshine says, Oh, he needs

805
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 3: to try being alone for a bit. The thing is

806
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:32,719
Speaker 3: that I it feels like, oh, he probably has been

807
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,840
Speaker 3: alone in the years since divorcing Rachel.

808
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 1: Yes, like we don't.

809
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 3: We didn't hear about any other people. Maybe he, you know,

810
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:40,839
Speaker 3: went on dates or something.

811
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 1: We don't know.

812
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:44,440
Speaker 3: But I think that his problem isn't necessarily that he

813
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 3: doesn't know how to be alone. I think that he

814
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:49,879
Speaker 3: doesn't know how to pace his relationships in a healthy way.

815
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 3: I think that's the issue.

816
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 1: I would agree, But folks.

817
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 3: That's the end of that story. And we got another

818
00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:57,919
Speaker 3: one on the way.

819
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 1: I warned my ex, what's this new girlfriend about him?

820
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:02,320
Speaker 2: So?

821
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 1: Why is my best friend furious?

822
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:06,399
Speaker 3: You mustn't trust him?

823
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 2: For context, I twenty three broke up with my ex

824
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 2: thirty one, about one year ago. We lasted about three years,

825
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 2: lived together two and a half months and well together

826
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 2: and with all his family in his city. By the way,

827
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 2: this comes from user throwaway, and if you want to

828
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

829
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 2: storytime subreddit. So things were not good, neither with him

830
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,359
Speaker 2: nor with his family. I'm not going to go into

831
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 2: the details of two long years in which I stopped

832
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 2: being me and became a shadow of the person I

833
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,280
Speaker 2: had been. I managed to get out of that harmful

834
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 2: relationship in which his parents and sisters and brothers participated.

835
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 2: Of course, when I had seven people telling me that

836
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 2: I was to blame for the situation and that I

837
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 2: deserved what had happened, I believed it. But that's not

838
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:56,359
Speaker 2: the point here. That's just some brief context. Two days ago,

839
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 2: my ex's new girlfriend twenty one or twenty two, I

840
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 2: guess from her Instagram, texted me. She noticed that my

841
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 2: secondary account, inactive for about three years, was still following

842
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 2: my ex, and she started writing me nasty words that

843
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,960
Speaker 2: I won't repeat. I didn't look for her to tell

844
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 2: her anything, because I had no idea she existed. I

845
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 2: blocked my ex from all my social networks when I

846
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:22,040
Speaker 2: left him, except for that one apparently, but I don't

847
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 2: even remember the dang password for that account. I don't

848
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:27,359
Speaker 2: know if I would have done it if I had

849
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:31,800
Speaker 2: known of its existence. Probably not. She probably wouldn't have

850
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 2: believed me either, just like now. However, I didn't get

851
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 2: into the discussion. Actually I didn't answer any of the

852
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 2: taunts or bad words, but I did warn her to

853
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,920
Speaker 2: get out of there. I don't know what story they

854
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 2: told about me, but I don't care too much either

855
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,359
Speaker 2: at this point. I'm just grateful that I was able

856
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 2: to get out of there and be free after all

857
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 2: of that. So she started sending me audios that I

858
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 2: didn't hear. I simply repeated to her that for her sake,

859
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 2: she should get out of that relationship in which everything

860
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:06,319
Speaker 2: now seemed wonderful before she found herself working to give

861
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 2: them all her money, also doing all the housework, and

862
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 2: taking care of my ex, his father and his brothers because.

863
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 1: They are men.

864
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,400
Speaker 2: Why can't men just be men anymore and be taken

865
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 2: care of hand and foot by all the women around them.

866
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:24,279
Speaker 3: Why can't men just be awful to the women in

867
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:29,480
Speaker 3: their lives when men were men? You know, uh, OPI I.

868
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 1: Think be clear, it's sarcasm.

869
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 2: If anyone's thick enough out there to think I was

870
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 2: being serious, that's sarcastic.

871
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 3: If anyone's got slate in the brains. God, Opie, you

872
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:44,320
Speaker 3: are doing and you got out of a terrible situation

873
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:47,800
Speaker 3: and now are trying to help someone else who is

874
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 3: not in the space to believe you or see that

875
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 3: you were right. And really, I think that you're doing

876
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 3: all that you can. Yeah, there's really not much else

877
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 3: you can do. You can't force her to leave.

878
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:00,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's not your responsibility at the end of

879
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 1: the day.

880
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 3: Honestly, like you're doing Angel, move to like continue to

881
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 3: hear you know her verbal abuse is the right while

882
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 3: you're trying to help her.

883
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 2: Say, by the way, didn't listen to that. Just leave

884
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 2: him before it gets bad. I also warned her not

885
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,800
Speaker 2: to buy my ex's a good mask. He's not a

886
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 2: nice guy. He knows how to lie, and he knows

887
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 2: how to manipulate. He knows how to make your life

888
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 2: miserable while keeping you tied to him. I warned her

889
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,959
Speaker 2: of that and that he would become harmful. I feel

890
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 2: like she didn't want to read anything I had to

891
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 2: tell her, But I hope that at some point my

892
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 2: words will click in her head for her sake.

893
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 1: I hope. So now, my best friend was with me

894
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 1: when this happened. We'll call her Betty.

895
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 2: We were meeting another friend and they didn't say anything

896
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:47,280
Speaker 2: at first, more focused on their coffee and gossip until

897
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 2: I reported that I had warned the new girlfriend, and

898
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 2: Betty seemed annoyed and told me I shouldn't have warned her.

899
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:57,359
Speaker 2: Betty seemed to even defend him this time. Betty knows

900
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 2: the whole story, so I was surprised and asked her

901
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 2: why she was defending my ex, But she just started

902
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,279
Speaker 2: saying that I had to learn to forgive and let go.

903
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:08,320
Speaker 1: I was a bit shocked, but my other friends agreed

904
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:12,440
Speaker 1: with her. Bad friends, bad friends. Is he is your

905
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:13,720
Speaker 1: ex manipulating your friends?

906
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 2: Yeah?

907
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 3: Did he get to them?

908
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 1: Did he get them?

909
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 2: Since then, Betty has not spoken to me. I'm confused

910
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 2: about that attitude because she was there to pick me

911
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,759
Speaker 2: up every time I was broken. She knows how it

912
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:28,319
Speaker 2: affected me and how it still affects me to this day.

913
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 2: But she then came out with the forgive and forget crap.

914
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:33,800
Speaker 2: She even went as far as to say that I

915
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:38,359
Speaker 2: could have broken up my ex's new relationship. That's the point, which, yeah,

916
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:43,320
Speaker 2: was the intent. If we were reading right, Yeah, she

917
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:44,799
Speaker 2: said leave that guy.

918
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:45,359
Speaker 3: Yeah.

919
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 1: Your friend's like, if she could have left him, Yeah,

920
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 1: that's that's what she's trying to do. Hey, you're not

921
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 1: gonna believe this. Through my other friend, I received the

922
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:58,320
Speaker 1: information that Betty had said that I was resentful and

923
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 1: that I only said all that because I still loved

924
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 1: my ex. Why are your friends saying this? He's seeing her, Betty?

925
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:07,359
Speaker 1: Betty's seeing your ex?

926
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:11,719
Speaker 2: Dude. Yeah, I asked Betty directly for an explanation, but

927
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 2: she completely ignored me.

928
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 1: I don't understand. We've been friends since we were little.

929
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 2: She was there when I managed to get out of

930
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 2: that relationship, and she herself helped open my eyes.

931
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 1: It had never been like this before.

932
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,400
Speaker 2: I don't know if I really did the wrong thing

933
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:30,319
Speaker 2: by warning my ex's new girlfriend, or if it's something else.

934
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:32,799
Speaker 2: I don't understand why she defends him now. I don't

935
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 2: understand why she says those things, and I don't know

936
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:38,319
Speaker 2: why she ignores me. I don't know if I can

937
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:39,439
Speaker 2: forgive her for this either.

938
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do.

939
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 2: Does anyone have any idea why she took that attitude?

940
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 2: Did I really do so wrong by advising my exes girlfriend.

941
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get

942
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:51,799
Speaker 1: back to the story. So but here's a quick three

943
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 1: minute break from as for more sponsors, and there's an update.

944
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 1: We all know what my theory is, but yeah, what

945
00:45:58,320 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 1: about you?

946
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 3: So fum No, I think it of course matters what

947
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,440
Speaker 3: you said to her, But it doesn't seem like anything

948
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 3: that we heard was negative or you know, trying to

949
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 3: attack her. So I think that you were truly just

950
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 3: trying to let her know what you went through and yeah,

951
00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:16,880
Speaker 3: you know, hoping that she could avoid that.

952
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:20,800
Speaker 1: If it's not cheating, what could it be that's making

953
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 1: her upset?

954
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,960
Speaker 3: I don't know, Like it's such a weird reaction to

955
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 3: have to a person who you helped get over this

956
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:31,400
Speaker 3: kind of really awful situation.

957
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:34,320
Speaker 1: Okay, new theory, new theory, new theory, say it.

958
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 2: New theory is that Betty has recently undergone some sort

959
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,320
Speaker 2: of like life coaching and training and like or like

960
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:45,759
Speaker 2: has been reading a lot of materials and she is

961
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:48,800
Speaker 2: latched onto that whole like forgive and forget. M O

962
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:50,440
Speaker 2: is being like, well, that's the way you have to

963
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 2: live your life, and that's the only way, and that's

964
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 2: the right way, and that's every other way is wrong.

965
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 2: So now Betty's probably just being like, well, I'm like

966
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 2: enlightened now, and it's like I understand that you have

967
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 2: to just frickin forget, and like I wish you could

968
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 2: do that.

969
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:06,200
Speaker 3: My mentor already told My mentor always tells me that

970
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 3: you just have to move past all of these these

971
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 3: moments because they're ephemeral and they won't last.

972
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,800
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, So hopefully it's that one instead of

973
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:18,560
Speaker 2: anything else. Your friend who can help with your ex.

974
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 1: I really hope it's not that update.

975
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:23,720
Speaker 2: I need to get this out of the inside, because

976
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 2: not only do I feel anger, but I feel like

977
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:29,719
Speaker 2: I'm going back again because of Betty's effing whims. I

978
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 2: feel all the faults again. English is not my first language,

979
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,359
Speaker 2: and I am also super nervous. So some have asked

980
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 2: me to update. They wrote to me privately asking me

981
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:42,320
Speaker 2: what happened. And even though I don't know if this

982
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 2: counts as an update because I'm venting more than updating,

983
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:47,400
Speaker 2: I'll just leave it here for those who don't know.

984
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:49,560
Speaker 2: I posted a post asking for help because I didn't

985
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 2: understand why my best friend reacted the way she did

986
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 2: when I told her my ex girl. When I told

987
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:58,520
Speaker 2: my ex's girlfriend to stay away from him, not even

988
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 2: a day passed and I found out they.

989
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 1: Were having the spicy sleep and that's why she defended it.

990
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 1: We're all shocked.

991
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:11,359
Speaker 3: We are all equally shocked about this. No one saw

992
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,880
Speaker 3: this coming. No one saw any of this coming.

993
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 1: Wow, I can't see Wow.

994
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:22,320
Speaker 3: Do you think that maybe she was so supportive of

995
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:25,239
Speaker 3: you leaving your ex because she wanted to hook up

996
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 3: with it?

997
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 2: No?

998
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:30,279
Speaker 3: No, no, impossibly no.

999
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 2: No. Now things got screwed up here. She started constantly

1000
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 2: trying to contact me, so I blocked her from all sides.

1001
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:43,439
Speaker 2: She came to my family's house. I decided to stay

1002
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 2: there that night because I needed my mom, and my

1003
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 2: mom yelled at her to leave or she.

1004
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 1: Would call the police.

1005
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,480
Speaker 2: Betty even made it on to Reddit once someone I

1006
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:55,280
Speaker 2: know who Jay, and You're gonna pay me an adult

1007
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 2: soda found the post and started passing it through our

1008
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:01,560
Speaker 2: friends and started replying to messages. I'm summarizing it too

1009
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:03,879
Speaker 2: much and it may not make sense, but between one

1010
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,319
Speaker 2: thing and another, I don't even know at what point

1011
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 2: it all went so crappy. Betty's boyfriend eventually found out,

1012
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:14,440
Speaker 2: but not through Reddit. Betty told him a slightly suspicious

1013
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:17,360
Speaker 2: story about why we had argued, but he took the

1014
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:19,439
Speaker 2: opportunity at some point to check her cell phone.

1015
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:21,880
Speaker 1: He explained to me that he had only needed an

1016
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:22,640
Speaker 1: excuse to do.

1017
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 2: It because he suspected an affair, because he knew that

1018
00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 2: Betty was lying to him. He himself has accepted that

1019
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,400
Speaker 2: he needed to leave her after trying to deal with

1020
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 2: her for so long. I know Betty doesn't have the

1021
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 2: most straightforward character, but I thought of all the good

1022
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,960
Speaker 2: things that outweighed that he found out about everything and

1023
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:43,360
Speaker 2: wrote to me. And I wasn't really interested in the

1024
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 2: Betty drama and her breakup, but he now her ex

1025
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 2: had also read messages about me between them, and I

1026
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 2: feel that I can understand why you would sleep with

1027
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:56,280
Speaker 2: him if you were a piece of crap without morals,

1028
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,840
Speaker 2: but I don't understand why you would pass him pictures

1029
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 2: of me. You would talk to him about how I'm doing,

1030
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:06,840
Speaker 2: about what I do. I couldn't continue reading the conversation

1031
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 2: because I really felt sick. I've tried to get away

1032
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:12,200
Speaker 2: from him in every way, blocking him, cutting mutual friends

1033
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:14,839
Speaker 2: out of my life, changing my phone number. I even

1034
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:17,719
Speaker 2: cut and died my dang hair for good measure, and

1035
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:21,719
Speaker 2: she just threw all of that away. Finally, yesterday, when

1036
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:23,920
Speaker 2: I got home from work and decided I deserved a

1037
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,840
Speaker 2: nice bottle of wine a little red of coals, she

1038
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:30,279
Speaker 2: came to my house. She started screaming, crying, banging on

1039
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 2: the door. I told her to go away or I

1040
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 2: would call the police because I didn't want to hear

1041
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,560
Speaker 2: anything she had to say to me. She ignored it,

1042
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,439
Speaker 2: so I called the police and my mom. Of course,

1043
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 2: she kept yelling that if she ignored her, she would

1044
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:45,840
Speaker 2: make me listen the hard way. She said that I

1045
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:48,080
Speaker 2: deserved what she had done to me, and that I

1046
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,040
Speaker 2: was ruining her life, that I had to forgive her,

1047
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:54,560
Speaker 2: and so from my perspective, she dug her own grade.

1048
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:57,520
Speaker 2: That's just like none of what she just said makes

1049
00:50:57,560 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 2: any sense, like zero. She says, you deserve what you like,

1050
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:06,239
Speaker 2: what happened to you. You need to forgive me, right

1051
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,080
Speaker 2: because she I read it in that book like that

1052
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:14,760
Speaker 2: none of what what Like if this was your friend

1053
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:16,800
Speaker 2: for like years and years and years and was always

1054
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:18,920
Speaker 2: there for you, and then this is like a switch up.

1055
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 1: This is one of those things where it's like is

1056
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 1: it a tumor honestly, like when did she.

1057
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:28,120
Speaker 3: Start seeing this guy? Because I'm sorry, if if I

1058
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:30,080
Speaker 3: had a friend who was in like a terrible relationship

1059
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:32,480
Speaker 3: with a horrible person and I heard like everything that

1060
00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 3: person did, and then I was like, yeah, that's the

1061
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:38,080
Speaker 3: person I want to they vetted him.

1062
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:42,040
Speaker 1: He did not pass. Well, they're not because Betty's in

1063
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:42,799
Speaker 1: a relationship.

1064
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:47,960
Speaker 2: So this is the infidelity I'm saying, Spike, Yeah, she

1065
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:50,319
Speaker 2: wants to get together with Oh well, yeah, I mean

1066
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 2: in my head it makes look I don't cheat, so

1067
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:56,600
Speaker 2: I wouldn't know, but it makes sense that it's like, Oh,

1068
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,719
Speaker 2: if I'm gonna cheat, I should cheat with the scumbaga

1069
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:03,720
Speaker 2: worse dicum of the earth because I'm already cheating.

1070
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:04,920
Speaker 3: He'll be down for it.

1071
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:05,680
Speaker 2: You know.

1072
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, do I put a third scoop of

1073
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 1: ice cream on there? Screw it, Let's just eat the

1074
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 1: whole pint.

1075
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:14,839
Speaker 2: Let's eat a piece of mud Yeah, but it's mud

1076
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:16,960
Speaker 2: pie ice cream.

1077
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:21,720
Speaker 1: Can get it. Outside's smoking baby A cent for it. Okay.

1078
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:25,799
Speaker 2: I can overlook on empty threats. I can even deal

1079
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,279
Speaker 2: with the fact that now I feel insecure again, knowing

1080
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:29,279
Speaker 2: that my ex can find me.

1081
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 1: I can be okay with all of that. I'll survive.

1082
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:33,040
Speaker 1: I always have.

1083
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 2: But then she blamed me. She told me in front

1084
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 2: of the police and my mom that I deserved what

1085
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:42,640
Speaker 2: my exit done. She said that it was my own

1086
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:45,759
Speaker 2: dang fault because surely I had done something wrong. That

1087
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:49,239
Speaker 2: there was most likely something wrong with me, that he

1088
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 2: with her was not like that, that he even cried

1089
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:56,040
Speaker 2: for me when she showed him my photos. And I

1090
00:52:56,120 --> 00:53:00,400
Speaker 2: know it might sound silly, Wait, so is she not

1091
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 2: only is this insane woman cheating with this cheating on

1092
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:09,839
Speaker 2: her partner with this scumbag guy who did ope so dirty. Yeah,

1093
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:14,480
Speaker 2: she's now trying to say that he's actually a softie

1094
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 2: who just misses you. Really, I've just been trying to

1095
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:19,960
Speaker 2: get you guys back together.

1096
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:25,680
Speaker 3: What what would the point of showing him her pictures be?

1097
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:27,320
Speaker 1: She's the bridge.

1098
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:30,399
Speaker 3: I don't understand. She's like, no, you don't.

1099
00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:31,120
Speaker 1: You don't get it.

1100
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:34,520
Speaker 3: I've been hooking up with him so that you guys

1101
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:35,440
Speaker 3: can get back.

1102
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 1: To trying to actually gray. It's crazy.

1103
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:41,440
Speaker 3: This woman is clinically insane.

1104
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 1: It's crazy. I'm sorry, that's wild. She's like, I'm the

1105
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 1: fixer upper. She's like just comm match maker. Oh, I

1106
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:50,719
Speaker 1: really do.

1107
00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:53,880
Speaker 2: But after spending so much time in therapy and blaming

1108
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 2: myself and feeling inadequate, feeling like something was wrong with me,

1109
00:53:57,320 --> 00:53:59,439
Speaker 2: and feeling like no one would ever love me because

1110
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:02,879
Speaker 2: I felt already and damaged, that was the worst thing.

1111
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 2: She could have said, and she knew it because she

1112
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 2: knew how I had felt, and she knew that was

1113
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 2: taking a NiFe and opening up an old wound. So

1114
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:17,080
Speaker 2: ef it, Betty. I can't give details right now, but

1115
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:20,040
Speaker 2: I just got out of the police station. I'm waiting

1116
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:22,399
Speaker 2: for the complaint to be processed because I don't want

1117
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:24,840
Speaker 2: to get involved in legal matters here. I don't know

1118
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:27,840
Speaker 2: if it could affect it in any way. I'm extremely

1119
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 2: lucky to have witnesses, support, and the love of my

1120
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:34,480
Speaker 2: family and friends. I'm hiring a good lawyer too well.

1121
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:37,920
Speaker 2: My unrecognized and non biological dad.

1122
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:38,279
Speaker 1: Is doing it.

1123
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:41,239
Speaker 2: My stepfather he works in justice too, so he knows

1124
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:43,200
Speaker 2: a lot more about all this than I do. I

1125
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,120
Speaker 2: just wanted to get it off my chest before I

1126
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:45,759
Speaker 2: went to work.

1127
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 1: From here.

1128
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 2: It's a long, hard and mentally exhausting process that's going

1129
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 2: to start because my ex is also involved.

1130
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 1: I would have left.

1131
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:57,240
Speaker 2: Things as they were, but I feel like I can't

1132
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:01,320
Speaker 2: just live taking other people's crappity. Maybe that was the

1133
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:04,080
Speaker 2: message I gave at that moment, that he could step

1134
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 2: on me whenever he wanted without any consequences, but mess

1135
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 2: with my best friend to keep pestering me. No, nope,

1136
00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 2: no more. That was the last straw that made the

1137
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:17,920
Speaker 2: dang glass explode. That's an interesting way to think about that.

1138
00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:20,480
Speaker 1: That's a malform. Instead of the.

1139
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:23,800
Speaker 2: Straw on the camel's back, these are like actual drinking

1140
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:25,840
Speaker 2: straws that you've put into a glass.

1141
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:28,319
Speaker 1: You put so many that in.

1142
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 3: Glass have full empty or full of straws.

1143
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:37,400
Speaker 2: As the last straw squeezed into that dang exploding glass.

1144
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:42,480
Speaker 3: When life gives you straws, explode a glass with them.

1145
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:45,279
Speaker 1: Break glass. Yes, f you two.

1146
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:48,600
Speaker 2: If Jay passes this post again and you see it,

1147
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:50,839
Speaker 2: I really want to say, and I hope you too

1148
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:54,080
Speaker 2: have a hard time, and that you really feel something

1149
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 2: of what I felt those days. You said that I

1150
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,399
Speaker 2: would end up forgiving and forgetting for being too good.

1151
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 2: There's no forgive and forget here, not anymore. They hurt

1152
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:05,560
Speaker 2: me in the worst possible way. I'm just going to

1153
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:08,880
Speaker 2: defend myself legally. I don't care how much damage this

1154
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,759
Speaker 2: causes them, and I don't mind ruining their lives and

1155
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:15,319
Speaker 2: ending their careers. I don't care if that happens. When

1156
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:17,840
Speaker 2: I don't even feel safe at home anymore, I should

1157
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:19,920
Speaker 2: have done it when I left him initially, but I

1158
00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:23,040
Speaker 2: didn't even have the strength to support myself. Now I

1159
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:26,600
Speaker 2: have it, and fortunately for me, or I guess unfortunately

1160
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:30,319
Speaker 2: for them, I also have the rage to carry it out.

1161
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:35,040
Speaker 1: By the way, you should carry out listening to.

1162
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 2: Full episodes with stories just like this one, which you

1163
00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 2: can carry out on Spotify or Apple podcasts or I

1164
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:43,800
Speaker 2: our radio or wherever you listen to podcasts.

1165
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:46,920
Speaker 1: Oh you gotta do is search, Okay, storytime. It's that simple.

1166
00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:49,319
Speaker 1: It's that easy. And then I guess you gotta click

1167
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:51,920
Speaker 1: on like an episode. But like but then it's that easy.

1168
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:55,239
Speaker 2: It's it's pretty that's that's pretty simple. So there is

1169
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:57,600
Speaker 2: a little bit more story left.

1170
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 1: I think you just gotta move countries.

1171
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:06,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, like definitely legally to whatever you can be done

1172
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 2: to protect yourself from your ex.

1173
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:12,719
Speaker 3: Get like a straining order, I don't know, yeah, cut

1174
00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:18,040
Speaker 3: off freaking Betty, definitely territory. Yeah, but like I'm not

1175
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:18,960
Speaker 3: sure where you're at.

1176
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 2: But if you just like were like, you know what,

1177
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:22,760
Speaker 2: I just want to start a new life, Like this

1178
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,200
Speaker 2: is one of those scenarios when it's like just wiping

1179
00:57:25,240 --> 00:57:28,000
Speaker 2: the slate and starting a new life kind of makes sense. Yeah,

1180
00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:30,400
Speaker 2: it's like you're who's she was your best friend and

1181
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:33,200
Speaker 2: now she's like your anime and it's like all their family.

1182
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 3: Friends, you know, Yeah, kind of agreed with Betty at

1183
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:39,520
Speaker 3: least before they knew, you know, hopefully they didn't know

1184
00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:41,160
Speaker 3: that Betty was cheating with her ex.

1185
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1186
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:44,439
Speaker 1: So it's a really scary, like hard thing to tear

1187
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:45,360
Speaker 1: it down and start over.

1188
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:48,160
Speaker 2: But yeah, it can be really fulfilling as well, and

1189
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 2: it's less scary the more that you do it. I've

1190
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:52,400
Speaker 2: done Yeah, I've done it multiple times. I have not

1191
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:54,760
Speaker 2: and the first time is really scary, but at some

1192
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:57,640
Speaker 2: point you just go, Hey, I roll it with it.

1193
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:02,280
Speaker 3: With a bunch of ye is, let's finish her off.

1194
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:02,760
Speaker 3: Let's go.

1195
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 1: I am angry.

1196
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:06,960
Speaker 2: Ooh. I feel betrayed and hurt, and I know I

1197
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:11,000
Speaker 2: don't deserve it. However, I also know that I'm not alone.

1198
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 2: I know it's going to be hard, but I go

1199
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:16,560
Speaker 2: to therapy. I have an amazing family and friends who

1200
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:19,640
Speaker 2: didn't hesitate to send Betty straight to the lake a fire.

1201
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 2: Well that's good, Okay, so you do have friends despite everything.

1202
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 1: I'm fine.

1203
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:25,520
Speaker 2: I will be fine as long as I have myself.

1204
00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:28,439
Speaker 2: I know I'll be I'm going to go to work,

1205
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:30,680
Speaker 2: but my heart is racing and many things are on

1206
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:33,040
Speaker 2: my mind. I just hope I can say it's all

1207
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:37,520
Speaker 2: over soon, although the judicial process will take time. Much

1208
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:38,720
Speaker 2: love and health to all.

1209
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:39,880
Speaker 1: There's an edit.

1210
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:43,080
Speaker 2: I didn't say it here, but my ex was an abuser.

1211
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:45,480
Speaker 2: Not gonna spread the details, and that is the end

1212
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 2: of that story.

1213
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:49,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, get those people out of your life and make

1214
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:50,560
Speaker 3: sure they stay one.

1215
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:51,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1216
00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:54,080
Speaker 1: But folks, that's the end of that story and the

1217
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:57,600
Speaker 1: end of this episode. So if you love us, make

1218
00:58:57,640 --> 00:58:58,520
Speaker 1: sure you subscribe.

1219
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:01,160
Speaker 3: We love you and see you tomorrow.